Endorphin Rush - An Emilogue (UPDATED 5/10/14)

[brythain]

It's not just Emi-logues. There just aren't a whole lot of good Emi stories out there, period. Fewer than any of the other girls, I'd wager.

It might be because she's so hard to make interesting. You can always try though, and it's fun to watch.

[JohnnyTruant]

It's not just Emi-logues. There just aren't a whole lot of good Emi stories out there, period. Fewer than any of the other girls, I'd wager.

Well, not quite. There just aren't that many Emi stories. They all stand out. Hanako has like 12304u123958y234895y1234928375-09386-02358-0248934-02348920587029359847 different stories and epilogues, so everyone just thinks they're mainly good because the original ones like Sisterhood are the default templates, so there's more competition. Emi doesn't have much of a scene right now, it's mainly all underground.


Rin stories ... I don't read because I was extremely disappointed with her arc. That entire arc was all hype.

Lilly's arc was the most neutral/vanilla and cookie cutter as can be, so I only read one of her epilogues.

Shizune, I don't even need to explain. No one likes her.

I'm not into psuedo routes, and haven't read any of them. They're only okay if it's Misha, Iwanako, Yuuko, or Akira (although Akira doesn't really work).

So that's probably why I'm writing an Emilogue. That and I played her arc first by complete luck after trying to go after Hanako and enjoyed her the most.

[JohnnyTruant]

It's not just Emi-logues. There just aren't a whole lot of good Emi stories out there, period. Fewer than any of the other girls, I'd wager.

It might be because she's so hard to make interesting. You can always try though, and it's fun to watch.

You sure you're not referring to Shizune?

[CoffeeDrive]

You're missing out if you arnt reading pseudo-routes, a select few are among the greatest pieces writing on this forum.

Emi is an interesting character, her route was simple, but that what makes it charming, Emi is just a normal girl terrified of what might happen to the people she cares about.

Rin is best girl, I won't go into why, since I'll take me a long time to explain.

Shizune is controversial in people liking her, I personally do, but I understand why people don't.

I dislike hanako, I'm not entirely sure why, I just don't feel a connection.

Lilly's character I adore, but her route seemed a little predictable.

Also if I could add a comment about Ascent, while it was quite good, it was very idiotball, carrying someone as light as emi would be with their weight divided among your front/back, will be difficult, but not as difficult as he shows.

[brythain]

It's not just Emi-logues. There just aren't a whole lot of good Emi stories out there, period. Fewer than any of the other girls, I'd wager.

It might be because she's so hard to make interesting. You can always try though, and it's fun to watch.

You sure you're not referring to Shizune?

I think Shizune is the most psychologically interesting and Hanako the most psychologically straightforward. Lilly, you can't quite tell, since she is self-deluding. Rin you can't tell because she is… I think alexithymic is the best word for it. Emi is somewhere in between, very easy to do as a normal human who has suffered trauma at a reasonably mature sub-adult stage.

For me as a writer, therefore, I find Shizune and Rin to be the most challenging in an artistic sense, while Emi is a challenge to make interesting without making her abnormal to the point of being OOC.

[monkeywitha6pack]

I think that may be a person to person thing. Everyone finds something difficult someone may find easy, like for me I find shizune easy and emi difficult. It may be from practice with shizune and lack there of on emi but the personality of shizune or ocs with similar eons easy to write. Yet emi and Lilly's personalitys and ocs like them are extremely difficult for me

[dewelar]

I think that may be a person to person thing. Everyone finds something difficult someone may find easy, like for me I find shizune easy and emi difficult.

It also depends on what you're doing with the characters. For instance, among the characters I've worked with, Emi's PoV is the easiest (or, perhaps, "least difficult") for me to write, but Lilly's dialogue is the easiest.

It's not just Emi-logues. There just aren't a whole lot of good Emi stories out there, period. Fewer than any of the other girls, I'd wager.

It might be because she's so hard to make interesting. You can always try though, and it's fun to watch.

Hey! Are you saying my Emi's not interesting ?

[brythain]

Hey! Are you saying my Emi's not interesting ?

Yours is way too interesting.

[griffon8]

What exactly was the "fatal flaw"?

It depended on a supernatural presence to get Emi to become pregnant. The author insisted that the presence in question wasn’t supernatural, but he certainly fit the definition. I was (still am) willing to revise my opinion, depending on the rest of the epilogues. If they ever get written.

EDIT: I never read the other two you mentioned. The only Lilly epilogue I ever read (can't remember the name) was whenever Hisao is going to university and Lilly and Hanako are living with him. Lilly's parents come over and it's a big disaster because idiotball and Lilly's dad is too much like Jigoro. Her father is absolutely ruthless and says stupid stuff pertaining to Hisao's economic position, his heart condition, and Hanako's burns and shyness. But at the end, it's all good and a generic 1980's ending. I'm not gonna lie though, I enjoyed that one a good bit, too, despite all that jazz. If you can remember the name of this one, feel free to post it.

That was Family Matters. And yes, that was quite good.

I'll make my best attempt to add more to it or something. Idk. I'm still not exactly sure what it is you want me to improve on. Add more detail? Less scenes?

Unfortunately, it pretty much boils down to, “Be a better writer.” That’s not much help. I’d say the best advice is to read the entire ‘Tips for fanfiction writers’ thread.

[JohnnyTruant]

You're missing out if you arnt reading pseudo-routes, a select few are among the greatest pieces writing on this forum.



Also if I could add a comment about Ascent, while it was quite good, it was very idiotball, carrying someone as light as emi would be with their weight divided among your front/back, will be difficult, but not as difficult as he shows.

The problem I have with psuedo routes is that KS gives us little to no characterization. It's basically a free write. Given we're being given the ideas of the characters directly from the VN, that means I don't think having a free write should be valid.

And, if you don't think it's that difficult, then you probably lift. Hisao doesn't and we all know that. I feel that whole part was fairly justified.
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I think Shizune is the most psychologically interesting

There's your problem. Anyone who thinks Shuzune's arc was interesting, or any positive adjective for that matter, is insane and needs immediate care from a psychiatric doctor IMO.
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It depended on a supernatural presence to get Emi to become pregnant. The author insisted that the presence in question wasn’t supernatural, but he certainly fit the definition. I was (still am) willing to revise my opinion, depending on the rest of the epilogues. If they ever get written.

Supernatural presence? The last time I checked Emi was pregnant because she tricked Hisao into doing it. Hisao had just assumed, like normal habit by then, that Emi took her contraception. Hisao's track team partner that liked him (can't remember her name at all) suggested it to Emi.. Maybe I'm wrong, although I'm certain I'm right, I have absolutely no idea what you're on about right now.

[brythain]

I think Shizune is the most psychologically interesting

There's your problem. Anyone who thinks Shuzune's arc was interesting, or any positive adjective for that matter, is insane and needs immediate care from a psychiatric doctor IMO.

Naw, I do find Shizune's arc interesting as text, because it leaves lots of wonderful little holes for development. It raises a lot of issues concerning her upbringing and parentage, her strange little brother, and so on. It also does describe the internal psychological conflict pretty well from an external perspective, since we can't really tell what it is to be Shizune. But what you're referring to is not what I said: I said Shizune is the most psychologically interesting. Shizune, the character, as we might find her if we just tabulated her character traits and behaviours.

That said, how interesting you can make Emi may depend on how well you respond in general to the question, "How much sympathy or empathy can I develop for plain vanilla people who suddenly experience trauma or who have trauma thrust upon them?"

[griffon8]

Supernatural presence? The last time I checked Emi was pregnant because she tricked Hisao into doing it. Hisao had just assumed, like normal habit by then, that Emi took her contraception. Hisao's track team partner that liked him (can't remember her name at all) suggested it to Emi.. Maybe I'm wrong, although I'm certain I'm right, I have absolutely no idea what you're on about right now.

Nooooo, some guy sitting on a park bench mentioned the possibility of ‘forgetting’ to use contraception to Emi and that guy was ‘the driver’.

[JohnnyTruant]

Nooooo, some guy sitting on a park bench mentioned the possibility of ‘forgetting’ to use contraception to Emi and that guy was ‘the driver’.

Regardless, I'm not sure what the "supernatural presence" you're talking about is. A stranger on a park bench isn't a supernatural presence. A supernatural presence is something that exists outside our realm of reality. It happened to Emi, because, you know, that stuff happens when you don't use condoms, kids. "Make sure to use protection, kids!". A supernatural presence didn't cause that to happen and was implied no where in the entire epilogue that I'm aware of.

[griffon8]

The guy on the bench was dressed as a limousine driver. The same guy drove the ambulance later.

In Hanako’s story, he was constantly seen an a limousine driver, through the generations. And at the end, he was somehow able to deliver a letter from Hanako, written after she was dead, to her children/grandchildren.

[JohnnyTruant]

The guy on the bench was dressed as a limousine driver. The same guy drove the ambulance later.

In Hanako’s story, he was constantly seen an a limousine driver, through the generations. And at the end, he was somehow able to deliver a letter from Hanako, written after she was dead, to her children/grandchildren.

Still not entirely sure how that qualifies as a "supernatural presence". Either way, mind = blown dude. I never noticed that! Kudos for having critical examination skills. I never noticed That Guy reuses side characters like that. What a twist! Quite influential *wink wink nod nod hinting at the possible but unlikely projects I do after this wink wink nod nod*