Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
That was a very enjoyable read! Feels like it needs a tad more characterisation, but is fine for a first chapter.
Minor stuff:
1) 3.3 mol of magnesium hydroxide is almost 200g of the stuff. That's… a lot.
2) Hisao notices three pairs of eyes, but not who the third pair belongs to...
3) Why is there a room marked Class 5-2? Yamaku probably only has Years 1-3. However, Room 5-2 is fine (fifth floor, 2nd room).
4) Scruffy the Janitor? Lol…
5) Yes, the manly feels make a legit guest appearance!
Minor stuff:
1) 3.3 mol of magnesium hydroxide is almost 200g of the stuff. That's… a lot.
2) Hisao notices three pairs of eyes, but not who the third pair belongs to...
3) Why is there a room marked Class 5-2? Yamaku probably only has Years 1-3. However, Room 5-2 is fine (fifth floor, 2nd room).
4) Scruffy the Janitor? Lol…
5) Yes, the manly feels make a legit guest appearance!
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
1) I ain't no chemist, that was something a friend on Skype did for me. I have been trolled.brythain wrote: 1) 3.3 mol of magnesium hydroxide is almost 200g of the stuff. That's… a lot.
2) Hisao notices three pairs of eyes, but not who the third pair belongs to...
3) Why is there a room marked Class 5-2? Yamaku probably only has Years 1-3. However, Room 5-2 is fine (fifth floor, 2nd room).
4) Scruffy the Janitor? Lol…
5) Yes, the manly feels make a legit guest appearance!
2) Both Akio and Misaki are fairly quiet in this scene for a reason, Natsume and Naomi are the talkative ones because it's their club.
3) Fifth floor, second room. Supposed to be a place than barely anyone goes.
4) Making it a goal to include a reference in every chapter, just as a fun challenge.
5) Indeed!
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
- Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6148
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Except I don't think Yamaku has five floors either...brythain wrote: However, Room 5-2 is fine (fifth floor, 2nd room).
I'd have to check the relevant passages in the VN, but it sounds wrong to me.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Extrapolating from the photos of "Yamaku"'s main building, and some comments Hisao makes in the VN, there's five floors, but they're zero-indexed - the entryway is on the first floor, but the first floor is not the ground level. So, the highest numbered floor would be four.
(I believe the cafeteria IS on the ground level, though.)
(I believe the cafeteria IS on the ground level, though.)
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
So that's what they're doing on the roof all the time...bhtooefr wrote:Extrapolating from the photos of "Yamaku"'s main building, and some comments Hisao makes in the VN, there's five floors, but they're zero-indexed - the entryway is on the first floor, but the first floor is not the ground level. So, the highest numbered floor would be four.
(I believe the cafeteria IS on the ground level, though.)
Post-Yamaku, what happens? After The Dream is a mosaic that follows everyone to the (sometimes) bitter end.
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Main Index (Complete)—Shizune/Lilly/Emi/Hanako/Rin/Misha + Miki + Natsume
Secondary Arcs: Rika/Mutou/Akira • Hideaki | Others (WIP): Straw—A Dream of Suzu • Sakura—The Kenji Saga.
"Much has been lost, and there is much left to lose." — Tim Powers, The Drawing of the Dark (1979)
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
I'm actually not sure what part of the roof they're on, but the main building has two sections, one of which doesn't have a 4th floor. The roof access used in the VN may be to that part of the roof from the 4th floor, rather than above the 4th floor.
bhtooefr's one-shot and drabble thread
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Enjoy The Silence - Sequel to All I Have (complete)
Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking zombies on this motherfucking forum!
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
I am enjoying this interpretation of Naomi and Natsume.
Then again, I've always had a weakness for genki girls and their beleaguered sidekicks.
Then again, I've always had a weakness for genki girls and their beleaguered sidekicks.
"Who are you, that do not know your history?" -Ulysses
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
Misha Time: United States of Misha Meet the Hakamichis
Awesome, served on the rocks: Hisao and Kenji- Master Detectives! (Check out the Archive for more!)
I wrote a book! Brythain edited it! If you like mystery and history please consider: A Sister's Habit
"You are absolutely insane. And entertaining." -griffon8
Re: Lustre - Chapter One: Hisao Nakai; journalist.
Quick fix.Numb wrote:as rest of the space remains empty,
Same here. I'm enjoying N&N's company more than Misaki's at the moment, but I'm sure that will soon change.Hoitash wrote:I am enjoying this interpretation of Naomi and Natsume.
You know, it wasn't until some weeks (or months) after the first chapter was posted that I realized Misaki was the same person as Misaki-senpai from One To The Radiant Season. I'd played the game but... just not made the connection. *Sigh* Kinda feel like a dumbass!
Anyway, very enjoyable, and I'm looking forward to chapter two.
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Fixed the class 5-2 thing, moved the room from the imaginary fifth floor to the fourth. All other corrections have also been made. Glad to see you guys are enjoying it so far, despite not having actually fully introduced Misaki
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
- Craftyatom
- Posts: 374
- Joined: Sun Apr 14, 2013 11:38 pm
- Location: Washington, USA
Re: Lustre - Chapter One: Hisao Nakai; journalist.
He will be missed. Hopefully he lives out his dream of owning a beach house with that old wash bucket of his.Numb wrote:“Scruffy retired?”
Hey man, don't judge. Sometimes you need a lot. :P Besides, Google says that that should only cost $11 or so.brythain wrote:3.3 mol of magnesium hydroxide is almost 200g of the stuff. That's… a lot.
I enjoyed this chapter. It wasn't exciting, per se, but I firmly believe that there will come a time for excitement, eventually. Keep up the good work!
Main route: COM(promise)
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Path of Least Resistance, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection
One-shots: Crafty's One-Shots (Dark Winter Sky, Dreamy, Path of Least Resistance, Project Blue Curtain, and more!)
Old poetry: Google Drive Collection
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Not the original reason I asked this question, but it seems a little relevant.
Anyway, I still feel like the segue into Hisao's recruitment is a tad too forced, but the character interaction was actually pretty funny. And it's nice to see another fanfic that makes use of Akio. I've always been biased in favor of him, for god knows what reason.
Anyway, I still feel like the segue into Hisao's recruitment is a tad too forced, but the character interaction was actually pretty funny. And it's nice to see another fanfic that makes use of Akio. I've always been biased in favor of him, for god knows what reason.
"A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love." -Stendhal
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Very interesting. I'll be monitoring this thread as well (hopefully it's not a deadfic )
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
It isn't, don't worry. I've been a bit busy recently with returning to school after a break, and the first few chapters always suck to write, so progress has been slow. I don't want to rush this like I did my Miki routeSteinherz wrote:Very interesting. I'll be monitoring this thread as well (hopefully it's not a deadfic )
Currently working on: Notes for a new project (Coming Soon™)
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
I did KS and other songs on note blocks in Minecraft: Playlist here
Old works| Rooftops - An Emi Story| Christmas with the Hakamichis | Not Like Him - Rin Perspective|Blossom - A Miki pseudo-route
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
Yes, let's keep the Miki curse to Miki and not the other gals with names beginning with "M"Numb wrote:It isn't, don't worry. I've been a bit busy recently with returning to school after a break, and the first few chapters always suck to write, so progress has been slow. I don't want to rush this like I did my Miki routeSteinherz wrote:Very interesting. I'll be monitoring this thread as well (hopefully it's not a deadfic )
I write take a look, would you kindly?
I also draw, kind of.
I also draw, kind of.
KeiichiO wrote:You shall now, and forever be known as, "Steinherz, The Great".
Oddball wrote:It's an obvious mistake. Both are disfigured orphans that read alot and both wear green skirts.
- Lelouch Vi Britannia
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- Location: Unknown - Last seen at Yamaku Academy
Re: Lustre: A Misaki Kawana Route [Update 11/05/2014]
This is intriguing indeed, I too will be monitoring this thread keep up the good work