Gray Outlook - A Hanako Epilogue

[TyronePotato]

Hey guys, this is my first take at fan-fiction. Just a quick little one-shot. I hope you enjoy!

NOTE: Criticism is always welcome. I love hearing your thoughts! HAPPY NOW, SILENT?

Gray Outlook

It’s time like these when I think of the past.

When things are going bad, it’s always what I think about. Though most things in my past now are good, it’s always good to take a look back.

It was nine-teen years ago when Hisao and I graduated from Yamaku. Lilly moved to Scotland, leaving us in our one-bedroom apartment. He and I wanted to start a family, and live a normal, happy life, as adults in this world of tragedies.

It was eighteen years ago when Hisao proposed. We were both twenty, and we had been together for about two years. He hid the ring in a glass of wine. I nearly drank it down, but he shouted at me before I could knock the glass down. I looked down into the glass, and sure enough, a diamond ring was floating at the rim of the glass. I promptly dropped the glass, and tackle hugged Hisao, screaming. We had Mutou marry us, which he agreed as soon as we asked, and people from our class came to the wedding. Lilly, Emi, Rin, Kenji, Miki, (Kenji and Miki had gotten together that year, and Kenji was Hisao’s best man,) and even Shizune and Misha came. It was the best day of both of our lives, and I will always remember it.

It was fifth-teen years ago when the pregnancy test read positive. We had been trying for about two months, and we were ecstatic when we saw the plus-symbol on the thin white stick. At first, I was speechless, Hisao with the biggest smile I had ever seen, with tears running down the side of his face. He was happy, and so was I. No, we were more than happy. We were so overjoyed that we could not find the words to describe our feelings.

It was four-teen years ago when Lilly was born. She was a healthy baby, and the doctors found nothing wrong with her at all. It only seemed appropriate that we named her after the one person that brought the two of us together. It was because of her that this child was brought into this world. If it weren’t for her, Hisao and I may have never met. Things wouldn’t have gone the same, and I may have died alone. When we called and told her that we named our only child after her, she broke down into tears. She flew in from Scotland, just to se- uh… meet her. When she got there, we had already settled her into the house.

It was twelve years ago when Lilly decided to move back to Japan. Akira and her father had always been busy at the time, and her mother died two years before, as well as her boyfriend that same year. She needed a home she felt welcome in, and we gave her one. Though sometimes it got confusing once baby-Lilly was up and talking.

It was five years ago when Lilly started school. Hisao was teaching Science at Yamaku, so when she was at school and Hisao and I were working, Lilly was left the house to herself. She had taken the third bedroom in our new house Hisao bought us with his father’s inheritance money, and made a home for herself with us.

It was two years ago when Hisao had his second heart-attack. We were walking with little-Lilly in the park, when he suddenly dropped to his knees, clutching his chest. This one even more severe than the first. Instead of spending a mere four months in the hospital, he spent nearly a year in that god forsaken hell-hole. After recovery, he spent his days connected to life support, and we were cautious about every decision we made.

It was five days ago when Hisao had his final heart-attack. This one not ending like the last two. This was the end. The last straw of his life. In the end his Arrhythmia had taken his life before he could even see the halfway point of it. Arrhythmia. A strange, foreign word, he called it. One you don’t want to be in the same room with. In the end, this was the cause of Hisao’s horrific death. Lilly and little-Lilly were devastated. Though I did not originally have a reaction. I just watched his heart rate on his life support skyrocket, then immediately dropping to zero, not speaking. I watched his lifeless corpse for the better part of half an hour before the paramedics came bursting through my bedroom door. Hisao Nakai, time of death; 11:32 AM.

Today is Hisao’s funeral. I still have not shed a tear over the death of my husband. Lilly keeps trying to talk to me. But I don’t say a word. I am unable to. I can’t even open my mouth except to breathe. I haven’t eaten or slept since that day. When they brought the casket out to the front of the room, that is when it dawned on me.

Hisao Nakai, my husband, the only man I ever trusted, the only man I ever loved.

Dead.

Tears run down my face. Loud shrieks come from the deepest part of my lungs. I can’t breathe.

Why?

The only word I can think of.

Why? Why? Why???

My short little shrieks become loud sobs. Lilly holds me in her arms, little-Lilly all the same.

“W- Why now?”

I curse the air that I breathe. I curse the gods that created me. Who created Hisao, who created everything.

I curse myself. “I c-could have done something t-to help Hisao. I am the w-worst wife ever.” Hisao’s mother holds me from behind when she hears my cursing under my breathe.

“Don’t you dare speak of yourself like that Hana!”

Her words stab me like a dagger.

“You are the best thing that had ever happened to Hisao. But now you go and curse your own name? Shame on you! Hisao wouldn’t want you to be sad. Be happy he is out of the pain he had been in for so long. God knows he didn’t want you to see him like that, attached to machines just to keep what little shell of himself alive.”

I begin to think a moment.

Soon the tears stop, and I turn around and embrace Hisao’s mother more tight than I had ever done so to anyone in my life. Tighter than Lilly, tighter than Hisao.

“Thank you…”

We bury Hisao, and I think of only one sentence in my head.

“Hisao Nakai, I love you more than anything in the world. I hope you knew that on your way out, and I also hope the feeling was mutual.”

[Oddball]

Not bad. It seems to go by a tad quick though.

Two things stuck out to me. The idea that a heart attack is MORE fatal should pretty much mean the guy is dead. Not that Hisao barely survives. Either it's fatal or it's not. In this case, it seemed to be "not" so you might want to pick another word there.

Another thing is having the whole old cast of the game show up for the wedding. Hanako and Hisao weren't really even all that close to most of them. It juts feels like they were included in the story because you they used to be the main characters not because they fit any kind of role.

[TyronePotato]

Not bad. It seems to go by a tad quick though.

It was meant to, but I don't normally write like this, so it may have turned out a bit less great than I had hoped.

Two things stuck out to me. The idea that a heart attack is MORE fatal should pretty much mean the guy is dead. Not that Hisao barely survives. Either it's fatal or it's not. In this case, it seemed to be "not" so you might want to pick another word there.]

By 'more fatal,' I mean, Hisao is near crippled to the extent where he cannot do basic muscle movements. If you can come up with a different word for it, I will change it.

Another thing is having the whole old cast of the game show up for the wedding. Hanako and Hisao weren't really even all that close to most of them. It juts feels like they were included in the story because you they used to be the main characters not because they fit any kind of role.

Well, to be honest, I kind of took a domino effect on that. If it's Hanako's wedding, Lilly will be there. Emi would come if she is invited, and if she and Rin are still friends, she might come along. Shizune is Lilly's cousin, whom they may soon enough end their childish little rivalry they have going on, and she may be invited too. And if Misha stays with Shizune, she might as well come too, acting as her interpreter. Kenji definitely would at least stay in touch with Hisao, if not, remain friends with him. And who better to take the spot as best man than him? The Miki x Kenji thing I had was actually based off another fan fiction is read, which you can find here.

Anyway, Odd, thanks for the feedback, it is definitely appriciated.

[Mirage_GSM]

By 'more fatal,' I mean, Hisao is near crippled to the extent where he cannot do basic muscle movements. If you can come up with a different word for it, I will change it.

"severe", "bad", "dire" (if you want something more flowery), ... I suggest using "severe."
Fatal means that Hisao died. Full stop. You can't suffer a fatal heart attack twice let alone a second one more fatal than the first.

The first half of the story read more like a summary of a story, and from the way it was written it was pretty obvious where you were going with the second half. The latter is not neccessarily bad, if that was what you intended.

[motokid108]

Great one shot, though to be honest, the "fatal" thing bothers me too

[TyronePotato]

Did some edits, fixed some of the words up.