Enjoy The Silence (Ch. 10 2014-02-08, complete)

[bhtooefr]

Thanks to NekoDude for musical suggestions, concept suggestions, and lots of proofreading, and thanks to Oddball for proofreading and allowing me to write this.

This is a sequel to Oddball's story, All I Have, set a couple of months later, when Hanako and Hisao are in university. For obvious reasons, I'd recommend reading Shizune's route (to both endings), Hanako's route (to all three endings), and his story before reading this. You might also want to read Lilly's route, as I think I spoil a couple things in it.

Table of Contents:

• Chapter 1
• Chapter 2
• Chapter 3
• Chapter 4
• Chapter 5
• Chapter 6
• Chapter 7
• Chapter 8
• Chapter 9
• Chapter 10

[bhtooefr]

My phone rings, and I check the caller ID. It's a foreign number. Scotland.

Lilly.

I hit the End button on my phone, and send Lilly to voicemail. I don't need to talk to her, not after she abandoned me at Yamaku. I thought I had made that quite clear to her last time she called me, a few months back, but apparently not.

Then again, if she hadn't abandoned me, I wouldn't be in this relationship that I'm in. I'm still not sure what it is, to be honest. Hisao insists that he's still in love with Shizune, but they've barely even spoken since he left Yamaku. Meanwhile, we've become even closer, these past couple of months that we've been in university. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that I was Hisao's girlfriend, not Shizune. Whenever we're not in class or too busy with homework that we don't share, it seems like we're doing something together - talking, eating, reading, playing, or, well, playing.

I hear my phone beeping to indicate a new text message, and see it's from the same number. Wait, since when did Lilly text? I open up the message. "Hey, Hanako, it's Akira. About to leave for Japan for work. Will be free tomorrow evening. Hang out after class? Karaoke, maybe?"

Oh. So it wasn’t Lilly after all. Sorry, Akira.

Unlike Lilly, I can't blame Akira for choosing to leave for Scotland. Unlike Lilly, she didn't coddle me, treat me like a child, and then abandon me to my own defenses. You'd think Lilly would have know better, after her parents did the same damn thing to her and Akira. Unlike Lilly, she was supportive, without being stifling. Unlike Lilly, she didn’t strip my heart, rip it apart, in the name of fun.

I look down and notice that my hands are shaking, and I've dropped my phone.

Deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. No reason to get worked up. This is all in the past. Relax.

I pick up my phone, and find that it's undamaged. While it might be a fairly old phone, and one that Lilly got me at that, I'd rather not have to buy a new one. I encounter the next problem. Hisao had already made plans with me for tomorrow evening. Karaoke, even, at that. I'm actually a bit nervous, as he hasn't heard me singing before.

Well, wait a minute. We're just friends, as he so often states, and we're just hanging out, right? So he won't mind if I invite Akira along, right? I fire off a reply. "Sounds great! Funny, I was already going to karaoke with someone tomorrow."

Akira's reply comes moments later. "I don't want to be the third wheel or anything. We can always hang out some other time, too."

Third wheel? Why would she think she'd be... Wait, does she think this is a date, too? Well, I'll continue pretending it's not, I want to see how Hisao reacts anyway. "It's not a date or anything, he's just a friend. You won't be the third wheel. 5 PM work for you?"

"Excellent, and yes. Send me the address, and I'll meet you there." I do so, and then finish up my homework.

With that out of the way, time to head over to Hisao's room. I grab a couple condoms, as we used his last one last night, and lock my door behind me.

«New night, feel right, knowing that you’re here
Dancing with you all the time, and don’t you think that it’s a crime»

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[Kitsune Spirit]

That was interesting... so Hisao is NTR'ing himself? lol

After reading Oddball's fic, I have to say this is an interesting premise. I can't wait to see where you go with this. I think it will be interesting to see if they wake up to that fact that they really love each other and Hisao is chasing after Shizune in some sort of guilt-laden "I would feel bad if I dumped her" sort of way. He is an annoying white-knight after all.

[Oscar Wildecat]

Interesting start. I wonder if they'll be singing Depeche Mode at Karaoke?

[monkeywitha6pack]

That was interesting... so Hisao is NTR'ing himself?

What's that mean?

[Mournful3ch0]

That was interesting... so Hisao is NTR'ing himself?

What's that mean?

I was wondering the same, so I Googled it before I read this :b

I think he is using it as an abbreviation for netorare, a Japanese version of a cuckold.

[Kitsune Spirit]

Sorry, I forget that not everyone knows Japanese terms... NTR is Netorare (cuckhold).

[Sea]

Sorry, I forget that not everyone knows Japanese terms... NTR is Netorare (cuckhold).

That is such a a wierd word, the english version i mean, I swear I'll never understand this language.
I do look forward (with slight (not at all slight) fears of where it's going)

[NekoDude]

Sorry, I forget that not everyone knows Japanese terms... NTR is Netorare (cuckhold).

That is such a a wierd word, the english version i mean, I swear I'll never understand this language.
I do look forward (with slight (not at all slight) fears of where it's going)

It's derived from "cuckoo", which is a bird that lays its eggs in other birds' nests. The cuckoos hatch first and grow faster than the other birds, either pushing the eggs/hatchlings out of the nest, or starving them to death. The hapless parents end up spending an entire breeding season raising a chick that isn't theirs.

I don't think I need to explain how this is analagous to a man who thinks a child is his when it is not.

[bhtooefr]

I slump down onto Hisao, my energy spent by the explosion between my legs. "W-wow." I can barely catch my breath, and it seems he isn't doing much better, even though I took the lead this time. The second round really took it out of both of us.

"Yeah... you can say that again..."

"Wow." I giggle a little, as Hisao gently punches me in the shoulder. "Hey!" I get up off of him, and lay down beside him, facing him. I contort my face into my best impression of a hurt puppy, and exaggerate my stutter on almost every word. "D-didn't y-your m-mother ev-ever t-teach you n-not to h-hit p-poor, d-d-defenseless g-girls?" I actually managed to get myself to start tearing up, this time, even.

He has a shocked look on his face. "I... I'm sorry, Hanako, I shouldn't have..."

Yep, he totally bought it. I let the hurt puppy face drop, and start laughing. "I was just t-teasing you, Hisao."

He lets out a sigh of relief. "Whew. I thought you were being serious there! And, just so you know, you're not actually defenseless..." His expression turns to one of... embarrassment.

‘What… what do you mean?”

"I... I was afraid I was going to have a heart flutter for a moment there, but I got it under control."

Oh no. So THAT'S why he stopped for a moment, earlier. I thought he was just afraid of being too early. Oh no. Oh no. "H-Hi... Hisao..."

Hisao reaches over to stroke my hair. "Hey, hey, it's OK. I got it under control. If I ever need you to stop, I'll let you know. You know that." I'm not completely reassured, but my panic has been defused. I rest my hand on his neck, watching him, and feeling his pulse.

Satisfied that he's not going to die on me, I lie back in the bed, looking around the room, while he disposes of the condom. It's nearly as sparsely decorated as my own, neither of us feeling the need to do much decoration. In Hisao's case, though, there's one exception, and that's a picture of him with Shizune and Misha, on his nightstand.

Shizune.

And, that's it for the afterglow. For shame. «Strange highs and strange lows. That’s how my love goes.»

I still don't see what he sees in her. They barely talk, and whenever they do, she's almost... bullying him. And then they haven't even had sex, or as Hisao puts it in her case, "made love", since they were at Yamaku. It's almost like she's leading him on, really. Then again, isn't he doing the same thing to her? And where do I fit into all of this? «I see a river, it's oceans that I want.»

Well, tomorrow evening might reveal some of that. Speaking of which, I should probably let Hisao know that Akira will be coming along on our not-a-date, too. "Hey, Hisao?"

"Yeah?"

"I invited s-someone else to come along with us to karaoke tomorrow, she's an old friend. I hope that's OK."

"Yeah, that's fine, why wouldn't it be?" His expression betrays his thoughts, though, as I notice it flicker a little, almost like Lilly's would when I said something that she didn't want to hear. Maybe he does think this is supposed to be a date after all.

Still, I don't want to push things. Last time I brought up our own relationship, Hisao didn't talk to me for three days. "N-no reason."

"So do I know this friend of yours?"

"I don't think so? You'll l-like her, though." Hopefully not in the way that he likes me, though.

"Looking forward to it, then." He smiles at me, and then looks over at the alarm clock. "Oh, damn, it's getting late."

"Yeah, it is... We should get to sleep."

"Yeah... Good night, Hanako."

I set the alarm clock, turn out the light, and lay back against the pillow, looking at the ceiling.

"Good night, H-Hisao."

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[Munchenhausen]

Hisao insists that he's still in love with Shizune, but they've barely even spoken since he left Yamaku.

I see what you did there

On a serious note though, this is coming along quite nicely! Cant wait to see what you have up your sleeve :3

[bhtooefr]

"BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BEEP-BE-"

My fist comes crashing down on the offending source of noise, and it's silenced instantly. Snooze button hit, first try. Yessssss. First time I've pulled that off in Hisao's room. I quickly fall asleep again.

"BEEP-BEEP-BEE-"

With another hit to the alarm, it's silenced again. I take a look at the time. 07:09, plenty of time to get to my room and get ready for my first class. I start to get up, and feel an arm across my body, holding me down. As I relax against Hisao's grip, I look over at him, and he has the most content look on his face.

And we're totally just friends with benefits. Right.

I gently lift his arm off of me, and I hear him grumble. I decide to leave before the alarm goes off again. Well, if it goes off again, but I don’t think I broke it. I'd like to stay, but last time I did that on a school day, I ended up missing my first class entirely due to us fooling around.

Note to self: next time, don't schedule an early class. Then you won't have to rush to class, and can sleep in. Or fool around if that's what you'd prefer.

And, as I get up, I feel sore. Must have been the second round, last night.

I have no regrets.

I get to my room. 07:12.

I hop in the shower. I lather, rinse, and don't worry about repeating. I hop out of the shower, and put on some deodorant. Hisao's told me he likes how this one smells on me. Once I'm finished up, I quickly get dressed. I take my pill for the day. 07:23.

Thankfully, my class is in the nearest building. I grab my backpack, and sprint out the door. Make it to the door. 07:26.

One flight of stairs. 07:28.

Down the hall, and to the classroom door. Still 07:28.

Slow down, act casual, then nobody will stare. I've got two minutes to work with, and I've been in this class for two months, everyone is used to my scars. Besides, I'm good at hiding them anyway.

Open my backpack, drop the homework on the professor's desk, smile at the professor. Walk to my desk. In my seat right as the clock ticks 07:30. Perfect score.

And now the exhaustion, triggered by last night's activities, hits. Time to struggle to stay awake through about six and a half hours of class, with a half hour break for lunch. At least I've got experience with catching up when I miss things in class, thanks to my high school years. And, Hisao is in three of my classes, as well, so we can compare notes on those classes.

You know, this textbook looks like a rather inviting pillow after all. And, taking a desk in the back of the room has its benefits.

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[bhtooefr]

I get to my dorm room right as Hisao calls.

"Hey, Hisao, what's up?"

"Just going to the store, I need to restock on a few things, if you know what I mean. And I'll get some for your room, I know you're running low, too." I blush at the thought of what exactly he's restocking. "Need me to pick up anything else for you?"

"Just a couple of liters of milk. I need it for a secret... ex-experiment."

"OK, now you're sounding scarily like Kenji."

I shudder a little at the thought of Setou. I have no idea why Hisao willingly associates with him, from everything that Lilly's told me about him.

Then again, he seems to have a habit of picking the strangest people to associate with. Setou. Shizune. Me.

"Except you actually l-like my experiments." I follow that up with a giggle.

"Not all of them..."

"H-hey!"

"OK, OK, all of them but the last one. That one was way too spicy."

"Just because you can't handle spicy food..."

"Oh, come on, I had to drink like three glasses of... Wait a minute, you're not planning on doing something extra spicy again, are you?"

Ahh, he's on to me.

"M-maaaaaaybe?"

"Alright, I'll be sure to get another liter for myself. Anything else?"

"No, thanks."

"Alright, I'll see you later, Hanako."

"Bye, Hisao."

I flip the screen on my phone shut, and look in my closet for an outfit to wear on our date. Um, our not-a-date. With Akira. I've got a little over an hour to get ready.

Nope, nope, nope... ah, this. This will do nicely. It's the outfit that I wore most of the time I needed something casual when I was at Yamaku. Denim jacket, pink blouse, slacks. With that decided, I hop in the shower once more. This time, it's a longer shower, and there's plenty of hot water. The water soaks away the soreness from both last night's "workout" and this morning's nap in class.

Satsified that I'm clean, I finish my preparations, and get dressed. Now, I had a hat that went with this, where did it... wait, why do I even have a hair tie?

Hmm.

Hmmmmm.

Can I pull that off?

I decide to try it, and pull my hair back into a ponytail. I feel... naked... having my face uncovered. I decide to look into the mirror.

The scarred part of my face makes a glaring contrast with the unblemished skin on my left side. There's nothing I can do about that. I've never been one for makeup, because my blemishes are simply too much for it.

I can't pull this off.

I remove the hair tie and let my hair fall into its natural position, covering the right side of my face. But this feels like... defeat. And I want to impress Hisao, too. Showing some confidence in my appearance is the best way to do that that I can do in public.

Besides, I can't let them win.

I take a deep breath and put my hair back in the ponytail. I hear a knock at the door. "It's Hisao."

Well, too late to change my mind now.

I unlock the door to let him in, and he starts to hand me the things that he got for me, before he takes a glimpse at me. The shock of seeing me about to go into public without covering my face causes him to drop the bag. Luckily, the milk survives.

"Ha... What... Wow. I'm proud of you, Hanako." He's grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

This sends a wave of confidence through me. Even if our relationship is confusing and messed up, he's always been supportive of me. I hug him tightly. "Thought I'd t-try s-something d-different." I pick up the bag that he dropped, put the milk in the mini fridge, and the condoms in the nightstand's drawer.

Interestingly, I notice that Hisao's dressed up as well. Of course, his version of "dressed up" is a sweater vest. Seriously, I will never understand that.

"Well, shall we go?"

"Absolutely." I follow him out the door, locking it behind me.

And now for the frustrating part, where as soon as we’re in public, Hisao steps away from me, and acts like he barely knows me. In private, I’m Hanako, his... friend with benefits. In public, I’m Ikezawa, the person that he’s barely talked to once or twice in class. He claimed that this was because he didn’t want Shizune to know about our friendship, but how will Shizune find out now? She’s 350 kilometers away, and Misha is on another continent!

Is this about my scars, or something? He certainly isn’t worried about them when we’re in bed together, though, and he was quite happy to see that I was able to show my scars today.

We’re coming up on an arcade, and I see a few middle schoolers come out. Uh oh. Sure enough, as soon as they see my scars, they begin leering at me. Reflexively, I put my hand in front of my face, and try to hide behind Hisao. When I do this, he tenses up, but he doesn’t actively avoid me like he normally does, until we’re well past the leering children. As soon as I’m out of danger, though, he resumes treating me as if we’re mere acquaintances. So it’s clear that he cares about me, and it’s not even the scars… but then what is it?

Before long, we’re at the karaoke parlor, and a suited blonde waves at us.

“Hanako! Long time, no see! And I like what you’ve done with your hair!”

“Akira! H-how have you been?” She looks the same as ever, so there’s really not much I can do to return her compliment. Well, I could simply try to make Hisao jealous… “You look g-great, by the way.”

“Eh, same ol’, same ol’, you know how it is. Buried in work and family bullshit, but you gotta do what you gotta do. How’ve you been?”

That’s a… hard question to answer. Hisao looks over at me while I contemplate that, and Akira takes the chance to look at Hisao. She almost looks like she’s trying to remember something, like she recognizes him but can’t put a face to a name. And Hisao has the same expression on his face, trying to figure out who Akira is. They couldn’t have met before, could they?

“I’m doing p-pretty well in my classes…”

“Well, that’s good to hear! So, who’s your friend here?”

“Sorry, I should have introduced you two! H-Hisao, this is Akira S-Satou, Akira, this is Hisao Nakai.”

Akira’s eyes suddenly light up with recognition. Hisao’s expression is one of abject terror, though. “Oh, Hisao, sorry I didn’t recognize you at first. You’re Shizune’s boyfriend, right?”

«An ill wind comes arising...» That was not what I expected at all. They must have met when Akira and Lilly were staying at the Hakamichi mansion, before their flight to Scotland, after Lilly left Yamaku for good. And, unlike Lilly, Akira gets along just fine with Shizune. Something brown and smelly is getting dangerously close to the fan, and Hisao looks far more terrified than I am.

«The world weighs on my shoulders, but what am I to do? You sometimes drive me crazy, but I worry about you.» Most of my brain is screaming for me to run from this situation, but a tiny part of me tells me that it’d be better for me to stay around. I decide to go with that part.

Hisao looks over to me, and then eventually croaks out, “Ye… Yes.”

“How have you two been?”

“She’s... been busy with her studies in Tokyo, so we haven’t been able to talk much, sadly. But my studies have been going quite well, at least.”

“Aww, sorry to hear that. And you better keep your grades up to keep up with Shizune, she’ll never let you live it down if you don’t.”

“I know, I’m doing fine there, thanks…”

Akira suddenly reaches for her phone, looks at the screen, and mutters, “damn them, trying to get me in on my free time. They can go fuck themselves.” She then pockets the phone and speaks up. “Well, let’s not waste any time, let’s get in there and have some fun.”

When we get in the booth, Hisao still looks really tense. I’m a little worried, actually, and had I known that Akira would cause him so much anxiety, I wouldn’t have suggested this to either of them. I certainly know what it’s like to be that anxious. But, it’s too late now. Unfortunately, this means that he’s keeping his distance from me still. If it were someone that he didn’t already know, I think he’d be fine. Unfortunately, because he knows Akira, and Akira knows Shizune, I’m Ikezawa now, not Hanako. Damn it!

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[Munchenhausen]

Awwwwh shit man, this is getting good
The hair scene, the food banter, the way they act when alone is so cute it's giving me the fuzzies :3
The way they act in public is a complete contrast and I can see Hanako's frustration. Akira being a mutual friend... Oh gawd, this is getting tense.

Sub-fucken-scribed.

[NekoDude]

«An ill wind comes arising...»
«The world weighs on my shoulders, but what am I to do? You sometimes drive me crazy, but I worry about you.»

Aaaand... cue the Rush fans. I know you're out there.
RED ALERT