OC "Neko" - Route [reconsidered]

[Oddball]

Backing up to a few days ago, I just realized that Miyagi cannot be the English teacher for the 3rd-years after all, because she's canonically female (per "Promise of Time") and the English teacher is canonically male (per "Little Wing"). Sorry about that .

I don't remember them mentioning the teachers gender in Little Wing.

Was that during the class scene or when they were all on the rooftop together?

[dewelar]

Backing up to a few days ago, I just realized that Miyagi cannot be the English teacher for the 3rd-years after all, because she's canonically female (per "Promise of Time") and the English teacher is canonically male (per "Little Wing"). Sorry about that .

I don't remember them mentioning the teachers gender in Little Wing.

Was that during the class scene or when they were all on the rooftop together?

It's during the class scene. After getting his test back, Hisao narrates "As the teacher opens his mouth..."

[Bad Apple]

So this is not cancelled per se. Perhaps, to prevent confusion, the subject should be changed to a more accurate term, like "on hiatus"?

Didn't read this one, but I can tell you're one ambitious man. I'll read this one when it's done and possibly point out whatever little "the experts" leave for the rest of us to scavenge.

[NekoDude]

Backing up to a few days ago, I just realized that Miyagi cannot be the English teacher for the 3rd-years after all, because she's canonically female (per "Promise of Time") and the English teacher is canonically male (per "Little Wing"). Sorry about that .

I don't remember them mentioning the teachers gender in Little Wing.

Was that during the class scene or when they were all on the rooftop together?

It's during the class scene. After getting his test back, Hisao narrates "As the teacher opens his mouth..."

It was a sub. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. It's not just that I need a name for a recurring character, I also intend to use Miyagi as a believable reason why Mutou might be eager to bail out of his own class at lunch -- something which otherwise would be a bit out of character for him.

[NekoDude]

no

[Leaty]

I've done a quick and dirty calculation and I'm quite likely to be running in the neighborhood of 400-500 book-size pages, so I am often choosing to leave something hanging and unexplained for later -- quite possibly MUCH later...

Another warning, also derived from the writing style of GRRM, is that nobody is sacred or safe. The way I have this outlined, canon characters WILL DIE, and quite possibly in ways that piss you off...

Since edits and additions will be an ongoing process, I won't be announcing them. I most definitely reserve the right to do things like re-order chapters to preserve drama, or add a chapter somewhere OTHER than the end because it makes more sense there.

I have to be completely honest with you here and say that I really don't think you've thought this through. You are being way too ambitious, especially when as far as I can tell you don't have a lot of experience working with this medium, your OC was Sueish in a sizeable amount of ways, you don't appear to take criticism very well at all based on your edit of the OP, and you're being inspired to write at least partially by an author of a completely different genre (an author who hasn't yet finished his own series, whose work went batshit crazy as soon as he replaced his editor with a complete sycophant.) More importantly, the story you sound eager to write really doesn't seem anything like Katawa Shoujo, which to me would seem to defeat the very point in writing a fanfiction. You seriously might just want to Fifty Shades of Grey this shit and try writing your story in a universe of your own creation. Change the names of characters and their backgrounds and descriptions to suit your tastes, maybe move the setting to America or the UK since you don't really seem comfortable writing in a pseudo-Japanese setting. It can still be about a school for the disabled without a lot of the baggage of having to pay lip service to the idea of doing a pastiche of another writer's work.

I feel like you're going to take this post as an affront, and I really don't mean it that way. Your approach to this whole undertaking has been more than a little loopy from word one, but I'm not criticizing you for having ambition. I just think that this whole fic is really ill-conceived. This isn't really the setting for one to try to write a multi-part epic, and even if you finished it, you'd basically be writing it for yourself, because I don't know how many fans of Katawa Shoujo fanfic (there aren't that many, comparatively) would even be willing to read it at that length and with that tone. If, after my warnings, you're still deadset on proceeding, fine. I'm not going to bug you again after this. But I have gotten this advice myself in the past, years ago, and I wish I had taken it.

[NekoDude]

.

[dewelar]

Backing up to a few days ago, I just realized that Miyagi cannot be the English teacher for the 3rd-years after all, because she's canonically female (per "Promise of Time") and the English teacher is canonically male (per "Little Wing"). Sorry about that .

It was a sub. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

This is no longer relevant, as it's been confirmed that the gender pronoun in "Little Wing" was an error.

[NekoDude]

Fuck it, I'm out.

[Silentcook]

...Write how you like, but you should take into account the following:

1) ばか is more of a directed curse than an undirected one - like saying "damn you!" instead of "dammit!", in context. This doesn't seem to be what you were going for, which dovetails nicely into

2) It's not a great idea to mix other languages in your writing in any case if it requires the reader to know unfamiliar terms, and if you do you should be pretty sure of what you're doing. Quoth the dude who didn't correct kimonos into yukatas for a very long time.

[NekoDude]

...Write how you like, but you should take into account the following:

1) ばか is more of a directed curse than an undirected one - like saying "damn you!" instead of "dammit!", in context. This doesn't seem to be what you were going for, which dovetails nicely into

2) It's not a great idea to mix other languages in your writing in any case if it requires the reader to know unfamiliar terms, and if you do you should be pretty sure of what you're doing. Quoth the dude who didn't correct kimonos into yukatas for a very long time.

She's directing it at herself. This might confuse Hisao, but apparently, hearing her curse when things go sideways (usually accompanied by a great deal of clamor) is not an uncommon event. I specifically chose "baka" as a word that might actually not NEED translation -- I don't speak the language, but *I* knew the word from other sources (namely Megatokyo, where it's thrown around fairly regularly), and it really isn't that important if the reader does understand it. They should "get it" sufficiently from the context.

If you think that's confusing, elsewhere in my story I have someone who thinks learning to swear in 100 different languages is somehow a substitute for learning to speak a second language properly. (bhtooefr called this the "Fuck You Century Club," or FUCC.) His favorite word as of the last time I put him in the outline was "perkele". Again it's not critical to the plot that the reader understand his swearing, only that they understand that he is swearing.

[Mirage_GSM]

I specifically chose "baka" as a word that might actually not NEED translation -- I don't speak the language, but *I* knew the word from other sources

What SC meant is that "baka" is not a swearword; it is an insult.
You wouldn't call yourself a dumbass if you hit your head somewhere, would you?

It's a bit hard to come up with a Japanese swearword that I could imagine Yuuko using... "Chikushō" might be a bit too profane but I'm not sure about that myself.
The easiest solution - if you really want to insert something Japanese - would probably be "Itai!", but SC has a point when he says you shouldn't use any languages you're not at least a bit familiar with yourself. Even if you think you know the meaning of a word, you probably don't.

Megatokyo does use the word fairly often, but as far as I can remember always in the correct context. Fred either has a very good grasp of the Japanese language himself or a good editor.

[NekoDude]

!

[Mirage_GSM]

Nothing said so far has made me think I chose the wrong word,...

Why do I even bother...

Okay, do whatever you want.

[Oddball]

In reality, the characters are already speaking Japanese, yet's it's translated into English for the readers benefit, yet for some reason you've decided not to translate certain words.

So how does that work? Are they speaking some form of untranslatable super-Japanese? How would that sound when they say it?

Why would you not want to übersetzen that? Sticking random untranslated слова into your works doesn't make it any more authentic, it just annoys your readers. Nobody is going to give you extra makas for that. Even if people know the meaning of the word or can facilmente figure it out from context, it's only going to annoy people.