Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

[bhtooefr]

Hmm, I just read back through this whole thread again.

Wonder who all's gonna visit.

The Emi/Iwanako dynamic is gonna be quite interesting to read, that much is obvious. Why do I get this feeling that Emi will be visiting Iwanako of her own accord, and apologizing? (And it having legitimately nothing to do with Nurse chewing her out.)

For what it's worth, I like the redone heart attack scene a lot better.

I'll note that the dynamic I'm looking forward to the most is the Lilly/Iwanako dynamic. Yes, even more than the Hanako/Iwanako dynamic, despite finding Hanako the character I empathize with the most in the VN. I think I can predict the general plot overview of it really well (and I think I even see explicit foreshadowing of it in a place or two), but the strength I've seen in your writing, especially with these Emi scenes, is that you manage to make the actual implementation of it quite surprising and effective, even when using predictable plot points.

I do think the fact that you mentioned that Iwanako is none of the route characters' true loves might actually spoil a bit too much, as far as the framing of each character's dynamic, but that's just my opinion. Still, it could magnify the impact of certain routes imploding, you're good at magnifying impact by using what the reader already knows but the characters don't.

Finally... while I'm not sure that Lilly actually is Kinsey 0... what if she's biromantic despite her sexuality? I could actually see that happening in her case, for some reason. And it could be really, really ugly.

[Leaty]

(deadfic)

[forgetmenot]

Takashi, Taro, Mutou, Nomiya, Jigoro, Sae, the cameo characters, Hanako's psychologist, the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene, Hisao's parents, Hisao's cardiologist, Lilly's parents, Lilly's aunt, the art club, the antique shop guy, the waiter at the French restaurant, and Akira's boyfriend.

I'm noticing a definitive lack of Nurse in that list. Me gusta.

[Mirage_GSM]

...the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene...

His identity is heavily implied.

[Leaty]

I know, but it's not definitive. It's ambiguous enough that he might just be some random douchebag Meiko knows.

[Helbereth]

Takashi, Taro, Mutou, Nomiya, Jigoro, Sae, the cameo characters, Hanako's psychologist, the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene, Hisao's parents, Hisao's cardiologist, Lilly's parents, Lilly's aunt, the art club, the antique shop guy, the waiter at the French restaurant, and Akira's boyfriend.

Hideaki isn't on that list... interesting.

[Panthour]

Now, if you want an actual spoiler, here is a comprehensive list of the Katawa Shoujo characters Iwanako will definitely not get into a relationship with: Takashi, Taro, Mutou, Nomiya, Jigoro, Sae, the cameo characters, Hanako's psychologist, the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene, Hisao's parents, Hisao's cardiologist, Lilly's parents, Lilly's aunt, the art club, the antique shop guy, the waiter at the French restaurant, and Akira's boyfriend.

And here I was hoping the Antique Store Guy would get a paring. Ah well.

In all seriousness there are many characters not on that list, and I'm actually enjoying the suspense and mystery revolving around the pairing.

[Bad Apple]

Now, if you want an actual spoiler, here is a comprehensive list of the Katawa Shoujo characters Iwanako will definitely not get into a relationship with: Takashi, Taro, Mutou, Nomiya, Jigoro, Sae, the cameo characters, Hanako's psychologist, the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene, Hisao's parents, Hisao's cardiologist, Lilly's parents, Lilly's aunt, the art club, the antique shop guy, the waiter at the French restaurant, and Akira's boyfriend.

Oh, thank God. We can still ship IwanakoxTrack Team Captain. I don't care he's gay, it's

biromantic

[WilyWiley]

Well that was depressing.

I love it. Keep it up, can't wait for more!

[emmjay]

Now, if you want an actual spoiler, here is a comprehensive list of the Katawa Shoujo characters Iwanako will definitely not get into a relationship with: Takashi, Taro, Mutou, Nomiya, Jigoro, Sae, the cameo characters, Hanako's psychologist, the guy who phones Meiko in the track meet scene, Hisao's parents, Hisao's cardiologist, Lilly's parents, Lilly's aunt, the art club, the antique shop guy, the waiter at the French restaurant, and Akira's boyfriend.

Hmm. You make a point of mentioning the guy who phones Meiko, but you don't rule out the possibility of Meiko herself. Interesting...

[Solistor]

Enjoying this fic so far, keep doing good things.

[Dumanios]

How about Iwanako x Yuuko?

[Leaty]

Well, I know that griffon8 is adamantly opposed to Yuuko/Iwanako, for reasons I'm not totally clear on.

[griffon8]

Eh? That's taking what I said too far. If you were to make it Iwanako/Yuuko, I would advise against it, but you're the writer.

[Leaty]

Okay, true, not "adamantly." You never explained why, though.