Part 6
I wake up feeling horrible and I just want to die. I've been getting headaches for a while now, but this is the worst one so far. I feel sick all over.
I scrunch my eyes … or rather my eye, closed in an attempt to force myself to go back to sleep, but it's no use. With no other options, I drag myself out of bed. With every move I make, I feel more rotten.
Being under running water sounds like a good idea right now. Hopefully a shower will make me feel better. Somehow, I manage to make my way to the bathrooms and undress. I leave the water cold and sit on the floor, leaning against back wall.
Did the doctors make some mistake when fixing me back up? Maybe there was some brain damage or maybe my mind just can't handle the decrease in input. Whatever. My head hurts too much to concentrate right now, so I just sit, letting the water run over me. Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll lose consciousness.
"You're still in there?" A voice I've never heard asks. I have no idea how long I've been here, but the way my skin has started to wrinkle suggests it's been a while. It feels like a long time anyway. "You okay?" she asks again.
"No. Not really," I croak.
"Let's get you to the nurse," she says. "Can you get dressed by yourself?" I don't answer, I just moan. She girl pulls back the shower curtain. She's got messy brown hair, glasses, mismatched eyes, and appears to be using a crutch to walk. She steadies herself against the wall and extends her other hand for me to grab. I've got no problem getting to my feet and getting my clothes on, although the girl seems to insist on trying to help. "Can you walk or do we need to get somebody?"
"I can walk," I tell her. My movements are sluggish and uncoordinated, but I can manage. Even so, she leads me like a little child, putting my arm around her shoulder to help steady me. As much as I hate it, I don't protest. It's fairly obvious that I need some help right now.
It takes far too long to get to the Nurse's office. The walk is made even worse by the pace we have to keep. The other girl is a bit wobbly and slow, using her crutch to steady herself she manages to guide me along.
Finally, we make it. The girl helps me into a chair and explains to the Nurse how she found me. When she's said all she knows, the Nurse excuses her and she leaves without even a goodbye.
With my supporter gone, the Nurse turns his attentions to me. He asks me a few questions that I meekly answer. The whole time I just want to scream at him to give me something to make the hurting go away, but even if I had the energy, I don't think I could bring myself to. He does a few quick tests and I obey whatever instructions he gives. Eventually, he runs out of tests and questions and asks me to lay down. He excuses himself before coming back with a needle.
"Don't worry. It's just battery acid," the nurse says with a smile as he dabs my arm with a cold wet cloth. He looks at me and frowns. "Hmm… most people tend to object when I tell them I'm injecting acid into them." The Nurse tosses the wet cloth towards a bin under his desk. It falls short and ends up hanging off the side rather than going in. "I was joking, just so you know. It's actually a saline solution."
"Do you have to do that?" I say wearily looking at the needle.
"I could get somebody else to do it for me if you prefer. Do you have anyone in mind?" he answers with a smile. Before I'm ready, he injects the needle into me. I wince, I hate needles, but I've got an odd habit of always watching the injection. "There. Now just rest a little bit." He draws the curtain on the bed I'm laying in and leaves me there. A few minutes later, he returns with a plastic cup full of something orange. I gulp it down. It has a slightly chalky taste like some kind of sports drink that didn't get mixed properly. It's not exactly my beverage of choice, but it's remarkably refreshing right now. The Nurse brings me another cup before leaving me to rest.
I lay there for a little while. Honestly, I'm feeling better now than I have in some time. The fact that the nurse's office is nicely air-conditioned certainly doesn't hurt. Despite his odd mannerisms, The Nurse really does seem to know what he's doing. That makes me wonder something. Is it The Nurse or just Nurse? It bothers me more than it should that I can't remember. Several minutes pass while I just lay there thinking about the answer to that and many other things.
"Feeling any better?" he asks, without pulling back the curtain. I answer with a nice contented mumble. He stands there a little longer, not moving. "Are you asleep?" he asks. Apparently, he didn't recognize my mutter as an answer. I'm actually feeling comfortable right now and I have no place else to be. Let him think I'm asleep for now. "Have a nice rest then," He says softly.
I don't mind if I do.
The room is incredibly quiet. The sounds of the clock ticking and the low hum of the air-conditioner are broken only by the occasional sounds of papers being shuffled around, and some keyboard clicks.
Then there's the sound of the door opening.
"You don't happen to have a copy of the Natsuki Takahashi file?" a voice asks.
"Shhhh. I've got a student asleep in here," Nurse replies. "Aren't you?" he asks a bit louder. I'm really not in the mood to do anything but lay here, so I don't answer.
By the time the other man leaves, I've heard things I probably wasn't meant to. It's not like I was eavesdropping or anything. It's just that by the time I realized I probably shouldn't be listening, it was too late to without letting them know I'd been listening.
Really, most of what they said went over my head anyway. There was some talk about hiring somebody that applied for a medical position, then transferring them to a councilors position. Apparently her resume mentioned she'd taken some psychology classes and knows sign language and they're in desperate need of psychologists that know sign language right now. It seems like they're giving her a bait-and-switch to me, but it's not my place to say anything.
"Hi! Miss me?" a cheerful girl's voice called out rousing me from my slumber. I guess I was more tired than I thought. I actually did doze off at some point.
"Quiet. I have a patient," Nurse hushes her. "--and yes. I did. I'm going to have to work on my aim."
"What? … HEY!" she responds, which immediate earns her another 'ssshhhh' from the head nurse. Judging the voice, I'm guessing she's a student here as well.
The girl and the head nurse exchange a few more verbal barbs with each other before the door closing a bit too loudly marks her departure.
"I know you're awake now," the Nurse says to me. "I really doubt anybody could have slept though that." He walks over and pulls the curtain back. "Alright, sit up slowly," he says. I comply. "How do you feel?"
"Not great."
"Better than when you came in?" he says making a small note on a clipboard.
"A little bit," I reach for the cup he'd given me earlier, but I've already emptied it.
"A little bit is better than nothing. So, I have a few questions for you. Let's start with the most basic. What have you had to drink lately?" he asks.
I hold the empty cup out, tilting it at an angle so he can see it's empty. With any luck, he'll get the point and offer me more to drink.
"Let me put it to you this way," there's a very different tone in his voice than the one's I've been hearing. It's more strict and formal. "Whatever you've been drinking wasn't enough. You were dehydrated and, judging by what you told me earlier, suffering from caffeine withdrawal." There a silence. I'm assuming he's waiting for me to either confirm or deny his claim. I say the only thing I can think of to say.
"I'm sorry."
"As Head Nurse here at Yamaku, it's my job to make sure everybody is taken care of. The time I spend dealing with issues like this, one that should never come up to begin with, could be better be spent dealing with student who actually have serious problems. Look, in the end, your health is your own responsibility. You need to be able to take care of yourself and recognize basic issues before they become serious problems." He stand there and I can practically feel his eyes piercing right though me. I just want to slink off somewhere and die. "If your thirsty, drink something."
"I'm really sorry," I say again, for lack of anything better to say.
"You don't want to over do it either. One of the easiest ways to tell is from the color of your urine. If it's a dark--," Oh god. He's actually talking about paying attention to my pee? La La La~ I don't want to hear this. This is embarrassing enough already. I try to focus on anything else that will mentally block out his "pee lecture". Couldn't they at least have gotten a woman to tell me this?
Now he's he's just standing there, obviously done talking. I'd almost say he was staring me down if his eyes were open, but the effect is the same regardless. I just want to shrink into nothing and disappear. Then suddenly, he smiles again. "Well, okey-dokey. No harm done this time," he says, going back to a jovial tone. "Just take it easy for the rest of the day and drink plenty of fluids. You should also thank Ooe for helping you the next time you see her and apologize for inconveniencing her."
"Thanks," I mutter, while mentally kicking myself. So that was the name of the girl that helped me out of the shower. I will never feel comfortable talking to her again.
"Oh!" The Nurse snaps his fingers suddenly, causing me to wince. He then rummages through a drawer in his desk and pulls out a small pamphlet. "If you're serious about kicking the caffeine addiction--" he says, letting the sentence trail off.
"No. I'm fine," I say, but he doesn't lower his arm, so I take the pamphlet anyway and stick it in my pocket. "Bye," I say, in attempt to end this confrontation. He smiles at me once more and without another word turns his attention to the computer on his desk.
... Well ... that was humiliating. Instead of a major medical condition, I just haven't been drinking enough water. I felt sick earlier. I still feel bad, but now the gnawing in my stomach is from mortification more than anything. What I thought was serious boiled down to me just being an idiot.
Yeah, I used to drink a lot of soda, and I guess I have cut it out of my diet completely since coming here. It wasn't necessarily trying to drink healthier, but I suppose the idea was always there in the back of my head. I just forgot to replace my normal drinks with … well… anything.
What really stung though was The Nurse's comment about wasting his time with me when other students had real problems to worry about. Other people here have legitimate problems. I'm just clumsy and stupid. Even my missing eye is proof of that.
As I exit the Nurse's building, I stop at the water fountain.
I miss the handle by inches the first time I try for it.
When I get back to the dorms, I see that somebody has taped a bunch of papers to the doors of everyone's rooms. There are a few doors that are missing them, I assume due to the occupants having already pulled them off and a few more of them have fallen onto the floor. I grab my packet as I open the door to my room.
A post-it on the first page identifies it as "From Your Friendly Yamaku Student Council!!" It's written in pink with two exclamation marks and a circle around it. The stapled together packet contains Xeroxed copies of several pages from the school handbook with various lines highlighted. There's also a list of upcoming school events, and several pages of addresses and phone numbers for various stores in the town and nearby city.
An odd emphasis seems to have been placed on restaurants. There's a lot of them, three pages on ones that do deliveries alone. I thumb through it briefly. There's no karaoke places listed for some reason. That's a bit disappointing. One of my old friends used to love dragging the gang out to sing every other week or so. I was sort of hoping to keep the tradition alive, even if it was with a new group.
I dress for the day, changing out of the t-shirt and jogging pants I've been wearing since dragging myself out of bed and replacing them with a tan skirt and a less sloppy looking t-shirt. I wrap a bandage around my head to complete my look. I guess this is what you call cripple chique.
A quick knock on their doors reveals that Hachisame and Time Warp have both already taken off for parts unknown. The only other person I really know is Rin and I have no idea where her room is. Well, if I'm going to take it easy today, sitting in the common room and watching TV doesn't sound like the worst plan I could come up with.
Freaks and Friends
Re: Freaks and Friends
Last edited by Oddball on Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:19 am, edited 3 times in total.
Not Dead Yet
Re: Freaks and Friends
Okay, I was going to comment on this earlier but I got sidetracked.
This seems like an introspective chapter that basically boils down to informing the reader of Hitomi's inexperience at living on her own. It's shaky in a few places, and there are some details left out that she seems to know, but doesn't describe; like who picks her off the shower floor. It seemed to end in a weird place--I was expecting it to lead into some interactions post-humiliation--but having it end on a 'that was a wasted day' note works just as well.
This seems like an introspective chapter that basically boils down to informing the reader of Hitomi's inexperience at living on her own. It's shaky in a few places, and there are some details left out that she seems to know, but doesn't describe; like who picks her off the shower floor. It seemed to end in a weird place--I was expecting it to lead into some interactions post-humiliation--but having it end on a 'that was a wasted day' note works just as well.
Re: Freaks and Friends
Freaks and Friends
Part 7
When I first arrived, I expected to have plenty of time to adjust to this place before school started. School starts tomorrow and I'm as lost as ever. It's not that I can't find my way around or anything, it's that I still don't know how to handle the people here. Everything feels so close to normal but never quite reaches it. It's like I packed up and moved into the Uncanny Valley.
If that wasn't bad enough, I'm beginning to think I fit in. It's not like you see 17 year old girls with eye patches at most normal schools. Here, on the other hand, I've already seen three ... not that I've made a point of talking to any of them. Walking up to a complete stranger and saying "So, you lost an eye too...,” doesn't strike me as the best conversation starter. So, I've just avoided them. Then again, today I've avoided just about everyone.
The dormitories have been bustling with students coming back from wherever they've been today. I thought about just getting out of here and going somewhere with Time Warp and Hachisame, but that didn't happen. They never stopped by and when I did try to look for them, they were nowhere to be found. I did see Rin with some younger girl in striped stockings though. I thought about joining them but decided against it. Rin can be a bit too spacey for my tastes. Besides, I didn't want to intrude. So instead, I just stayed in my room reading and listening to my music.
Sometime around lunch, somebody from the school staffed knocked on my door and asked if I would need help finding my classroom tomorrow. I told them I'd be fine and they just checked my name off a list and moved on. Otherwise, I haven't been bothered.
I kinda wished I was.
Bothered I mean.
Today is taking forever to finish.
My small collection of magazines and mangas have been read and re-read several times and the cafeteria isn't open for dinner yet. I'm bored out of my skull. Actually, I think I passed bored a few hours ago. I've now reached some new undiscovered form of mega-boredom. When the history of boredom is being written, it will be said that no one has ever been as bored as Hitomi Fuku.
My eyes wander around my small and mostly undecorated room hoping that there would be something that catches my attention. Some small spark of an idea that would give me something to do. All I see are the same magazines I've been reading, the same snacks, the same case of bottled water, the same uniform draped across a chair waiting for me to wear it tomorrow. … Actually, that does give me a bit of an idea.
I haven't really tried on my uniform. Lacking anything better to do, I slip out of the clothes I've been wearing and into the uniform of a Yamaku student. I want to say something positive about it like, “the fabric is comfortable,” or “it fits well,” but nothing stands out. It's pretty much like any other uniform to any other school. There's only one thing that really sticks out about it is the length of the skirt, and that's my own fault.
I really wish I had paid better attention when picking out my clothes. An ankle length skirt just looks so … so … something. The eyepatch really doesn't help either. As I'm trying to figure out the best word to properly insult my looks, there's an unexpected knock on the door. I jump slightly, like I've been caught doing something I shouldn't have been. Then I feel stupid for having jumped like that. I'm just trying on a uniform. There's nothing wrong with that.
“Just a minute,” I call out. I quickly debate with myself whether to change back into normal clothes before answering the door or not. Then I realize that I've already made them wait while thinking about it. I suppose I can always say I'm just being an eager student. That's not too dorky.
Dorky? No. I don't look dorky in the uniform. That's not the word I was looking for. I'm really going to have to brush up on my insults.
“Can I help you?” I ask as I open the door.
“Hey. How are you doing?” a blue haired girl says unenthusiastically. I have no idea who she is, but she looks like she just woke up. It's a pretty strange look for this late in the evening. She's got a bad case of bed-hair and bags under her eyes. She's wearing sweat pants and flip-flops. Her shirt looks several sizes too big and hangs off one shoulder. “You're Hitomi, right?”
“I am,” I say to her inquisitively.
“You doing anything tonight?” she asks covering a yawn with her hand. She must of read my bewildered expression as she quickly clarifies. “Tana sent me. We're going to her uncle's place for supper in about an hour if you're interested.” She pauses and smiles a little. The expression is the kind of sloppy overdone smile that you get late in the evenings when you're too tired to think properly and everything seems funnier than it should be. “Even, if you're not interested, we're still going.”
“Oh, sure. Let me get ready. Tell her I'll meet her in her room in just a few minutes,” I say eagerly. Any excuse to get out of this place and actually do something is a welcome one.
“Take your time. You got an hour. She hasn't even started getting ready herself,” the girl says turning away. “Nice patch by the way.” she says. “Not many people can pull off that look, but you do it well.”
“Thanks,” I say softly.
I have no idea how to take that.
Once the door closes, I gulp down the bottled water I've been sipping for the last half hour. Time to get to work. I really should have asked how formal this was supposed to be. I want to make a good impression but I don't want to over do it either. Stripping out of my school clothes and neat folding them, I begin digging through my closet.
After some deliberation, I pick one of my newer blouses. It's light yellow with billowed sleeves and a high collar, formal without being too dressy. I've only wore it a few times. One of my friends told me it made me look too old. Honestly, I'm not even sure how it got packed with my stuff. It was probably mom's doing. With it, a pick out a nice tan skirt, about knee length, giving me a look that's neither excessively flamboyant nor too bland or casual.
That's the length I should have got my uniform skirt. Knee length. I'm going to look like such a dork tomorrow. Wait. I've got it now. “Frumpy” I look frumpy.
Somehow, even with my simulating intellectual pondering I manage to get dressed far too quickly. I was able to prepare myself in about ten minutes, leaving the rest of the hour to wait. Having something to do excited me more than I thought it would.
I check and recheck my hair a few times and end up changing my shoes from dress sandals to comfortable loafers. Then I switch out my eyepatch for a bandage wrap before deciding that the eyepatch looked better after all. That burns a few minutes, but not nearly enough time. So I just wait.
And refold my uniform neater.
And wait.
I wish my room was bigger so I could pace around it.
With fifteen minutes left before the deadline, I go to Time Warp's room and knock. To my surprise, the knock is answered right away.
“Come on in,” a voice that isn't Time Warp's says.
There's a lot to take in as I step inside. It's the first time I've been in Time Warp's room. Clothes are thrown everywhere. There's more than a few empty snack packages laying about. A corner of her room seems overstuffed with a computer and various attachments, some of them partially disassembled. The wires twist around each other making one big tangle. The blue haired girl from earlier is sitting in front of the computer playing a game of some type.
Tana's a bit of a pig apparently. I would have expected that from Hachisame, but for some reason, I thought Tana would be more organized. I guess I was wrong.
Time Warp soon notices me. She's wearing a pair of overalls made into shorts and no shirt on underneath. There's enough fabric there to cover most of her bra, but somehow that only makes her look more naked. It's certainly a daring look. I wouldn't leave the house like that if somebody made me. “Welcome to Cosa de Wakahisa,” she says with a smile.
“Thanks. It's nice,” I say. It may be messy, but at least it looks lived in. There's a certain comfort to that. My room still feels foreign to me. While I know that it's my room, it doesn't yet feel like it's mine. It's feels more like I'm just staying for a while.
“Sit down, make yourself at home,” the blue haired girl says without turning from her videogame. It's an older style one. I've never kept up with videogames, so I can't tell exactly what it is.
“It's a dump,” Tana says. It takes me a second to realize that she's replying to my 'it's nice' comment. “Ah, here we go. I told you I still had it,” she adds pulling a green and pink t-shirt out of the laundry basket. I feel much less uneasy once she undoes the straps on her overalls and puts a shirt on.
“Why are you telling me? I'm the one that told you you hadn't thrown that thing away,” the blue haired girl says to Tana.
“I'm really glad you could come,” Tana says to me. “I was going to mention it to you earlier, but, you know...” she says. For something I supposedly know, I'm completely clueless about. Tana turns towards the other girl, “and you did not tell me I hadn't thrown it out. You said you didn't remember seeing me throw it out. There's a difference.” Blue Hair just shrugs, something that will no doubt take Tana longer to realize. “Anyway, one at a time,” she says quickly pointing from the blue haired girl to me and back again. “Hitomi.”
I feel like I've been put on the spot. “So, umm... thanks for inviting me. Who else is coming? Me, you, Hachisame, that girl, and Rin?”
“I suppose I would be 'that girl'? I thought I introduced myself,” the blue haired girls says. Turning around in her chair she smiles and bows slightly. “My apologies. I'm Suzu Suzuki.” She gives me a look that suggests she's used to people making bad jokes about her name. “You know what they say. 'A rose by the same two names --'” she stops abruptly and swivels around in the chair back to her videogame. “... Sorry. I have no clue where I was going with that,” she mumbles.
“So, Hitomi and Suzu, now you know each other. To answer your other question, Rin isn't going to be coming with us tonight. Ibarazaki is back, so Rin is going to be spending more time with her.” Tana says. She points over to Suzu.
“Right now we're just waiting on 'Same,” Suzu says, yawning loudly as she finishes.
"Didn't get much sleep last night?' I ask. She chuckles slightly at my question.
"That's cute," she says in response. Looking for some change in my expression and apparently not seeing it, she sighs and rolls her eyes at me. "They didn't mention me, did they? I guess this would be the part where we swap sob stories." There's a loud cracking sound as she rolls her neck. "I'm narcoleptic. I don't get enough sleep. Ever. I'm always tired. It sucks. You somehow lost an eye. Pleased to meet you." She bows again as she finishes her curt introduction.
"I didn't mean anything by it," I tell her.
"No biggie. Some of us are born broken, others have broken thrust upon us. So, what happened to you anyway?" she asks.
"I … err... stabbed myself," I tell her.
"That was kind of a stupid thing to do, wasn't it?" she says with a grin.
"It was an accident." There's perhaps a bit too much defense in my voice. I see her eyes grow wide temporarily as she realizes she's gone too far.
"Sorry. I didn't know it was a touchy subject. I was just messing with you," she says with a more calm and reserved smile on her face. “Nothing personal.” We stare at each other for a moment, as I juggle with whether to accept the apology or bite back. Then I feel a tug on my sleeve.
“I do love that outfit,” Tana says. “Very classy.” I'm not exactly sure how much of the exchange between myself and Suzu and got through to her yet, but I'm glad for the change in topic.
“I just thought I'd dress up a bit tonight. You know how it is, sometimes you just feel like looking good,” I blatantly lie.
“It is pretty hot,” Suzu adds. For the first time since I've came in, she seems to be really looking at me, studying me maybe.
“Thank you, and thank you,” I say, turning to Suzu and then Tana. “If either of you want to borrow it sometime, let me know. Suzu chuckles slightly at this.
“I have my own style. It's called 'whatever's comfortable.'” As she says this, she strikes a pose as if to imitate a fashion model.
“Strike a pose,” Tana says as she finally catches up to what Suzu is doing. She motions as if she's taking pictures. “Oh yeah, give it to me. Now pout. Now let's see angry. Oh, you're beautiful baby. The fashion world is going to go wild for you!” Watching Tana and Suzu's mock fashion photography and their horrible attempts to sync up with each other is enough to get a good laugh out of me. I was just starting to think that I wouldn't get along with that blue haired girl too.
A loud banging interrupts Suzu's modeling and a familiar voice on the other side of the door calls out “Pizza!”
“We didn't order any pizza!” Suzu calls back.
Hachisame throws the door open and wheels herself in. She has an obvious lack of anything resembling pizza. “Good, 'cause I'm not going to give you any pizza!” she says with mock disdain.
“You're a horrible delivery person,” Suzu mumbles.
“Does that mean I don't get my tip?” she asks.
“Hello, 'Same,” I say, trying out Suzu's nickname for her. Somehow it just doesn't feel right. I think I'll just stick to calling her by her full name.
She nods her head at me and does that thing where she smiles and clicks her teeth together again. “Everybody ready?” she asks. Hachisame is wearing a black tank top with a gypsy style skirt and a shark tooth necklace. It's not even the same shark tooth necklace. She must have multiples of these things. I am feeling horribly overdressed for this group. I've got a formal dinning look and they're got a burger and fries style going for them. My pajamas would look more formal than what Suzu is wearing.
There's a slight bit of small talk as Suzu looks for a place to save her game, then we all head out.
Just about everything in the school is designed to be wheelchair accessible, but Hachisame has no problems getting out of the chair and pulling it along in areas where it would be quicker to step over things. Every time she does, I look around nervously expecting somebody to lecture us about using a wheelchair when we don't need one. Nobody ever says anything though.
In no time at all, we're off the grounds and down the hill. There's quite a bit of casual chatter, but between Suzu's sleepy demeanor and Tana's delayed reaction, it's hard to keep a conversation flowing naturally. I mostly just listen and hoping to catch up on anything going around here.
“You don't mind if I borrow the chair, do you?” Suzu says once we've reached the edges of town.
Her request catches me so off guard, I end up tripping over my own feet and nearly stumbling into Time Warp. You can't just ask to borrow somebody's wheelchair … Can you?
Hachisame shrugs. “No problem.” It's a few more steps before Time Warp catches up with the conversation and stops the wheelchair. With a grunt, Hachisame pulls herself out of the chair. Suzu quickly takes her place. She looks surprisingly small as she positions herself in a way that's obviously meant for napping rather than sitting upright.
I watch with a mixture of curiosity and appall. Doesn't Hachisame need that? How can Suzu just ask to use it? I refrain from saying anything about it, but it feels horribly wrong, probably the most wrong thing I've seen so far at this school, which is saying alot.
With the interruption cutting through most of the chit-chat, I decide to grasp at some semblance or normality and ask something I've been wondering since we left the school. “Where does you Uncle live anyway?”
A few more steps and Time Warp turns her head just slightly off from where I'm at.
“He's got an apartment in town. It's about a fifteen minute walk from here,” she says.
“Yeah, the place has some kind of deal with the school where teacher and family get some kind of discount on their rent,” Hachisame cuts in. “or something,” her tone tells me she both doesn't know the details nor does she care about them. “If we seen anybody from school, we'll point 'em out to you,” she adds.
So much for getting away from the school.
Our pace slows considerably. Hachisame has taken over pushing the wheelchair and lags behind the rest of us slightly. Tana, for natural reasons can't exactly take the lead either and I have no clue where I'm going. Our odd arrangement results in me acting as some kind of spotter for her, turning my head back and forth in in case anything is about to happen that she wouldn't have time to perceive.
Even with Hachisame bringing up the rear, I can't help but turn and look at her quite often. Only part of this is because she has the tendency to talk about everything that crosses her mind and point out anything we pass that's even remotely interesting to her. I've seen her out of her wheelchair several times, but rarely for this long a period. She has strikingly wide hips. I know that she's usually sitting down and often has a towel or blanket over her lap when she does, but I'm surprised I've never actually noticed it before. Even the flowing gypsy style skirt she's wearing doesn't hide them well. That's probably why Suzu looked so small sitting in her wheelchair. Once I notice that, my eyes … eye … is repeatedly drawn to her.
“Are you sure you're okay walking long distances like this?” I ask. “I remember saying you had weak legs.” Rather than getting me any kind of explanation, she instead just simply smiles and clicks her teeth together again, as though she doesn't have any care in the world and I'm foolish for even asking.
About forty five minutes later Hachisame reaches down and ruffles Suzu's hair. “Yo', Snuzu, wakey wakey.” Rather than the grogginess I expected, Suzu's eyes snap right open. In fact, this is the most alert I've seen her yet.
“That was a nice nap,” she says almost leaping out of the wheelchair.
“So, we're here?” I say mostly just for the sake of having something to say.
“It's right up ahead,” Hachisame says pointing down the street.
“It's just up ahead, right around the corner,” Tana says right after that, having missed Hachisame's announcement.
“I feel like I should be saying it's ahead,” Suzu says barely holding back a laugh.
“Seems to be the thing to say,” I comment. God that was lame.
We all turn the corner. Halfway down the street is a large sign saying “Sunshine Estates,” written in both English and Kanji. A thick line of trees helps hide the tall black fence that surrounds the place, giving it a private and secluded look. Electronic locks on the gate further enforce the feeling of privacy.
Time warp steps forward to enter the passcode to the lock on the sidewalk gate. As it swings open, Suzu grabs the gate and holds it for us.
As we walk through a young woman on a vespa scooter calls out to us. “Umm... Hello? … Excuse me? I'm sorry, but... I'm having some problems here.” She's been sitting at the drive in gate since we rounded the corner, but I didn't think anything of it until now. “I really hate to trouble you and hope it's not a bother.” She paused and gave a nervous self deprecatory laugh. “You see, I usually have the passcode written down but I lost the paper it was on--Oh, I'm sorry. I really do live here. I can show you my ID that has my address on--”
“It's 5637, Yuuko,” Time Warp says. The lady's fumbled request for help gave even Tana enough time to react to it.
“Thank you. Thank you. I knew it was those numbers, but I couldn't remember what order. I tried 5736 and then 3756 then … I tried a bunch of things but... thanks. Thank you... umm... I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I should get going now.” With the way she talked, you'd think she's asked for help performing surgery rather than something simple like a entrance code. She bows to us, hitting her helmeted head against the scooters handlebars as she does and then drives away.
“And that was the school's librarian. One of them, anyway,” Hachisame says. So, it seems the students aren't the only oddities at the school. That's surprisingly uncomforting.
“Bye, Yuuko. See you in school.” Despite her having already ridden off, Tana waves to where the librarian had just been. I cringe slightly as I watch, but neither Suzu nor Hachisame react.
Once we reach the last building at the back of the apartment complex, Hachisame gets out of her wheelchair. She fishes around in her pocket before producing a small key. My first thought is why would she have a key to Tana's Uncle's place. However, she pushes her wheelchair over to a bicycle rack, and uses the key to unlock a chain that that's hanging there.
“What? You didn't expect me to carry the thing upstairs, did you?” she smiles at me. I guess the surprise was pretty evident in my expression. I suppose that also means she comes here a lot if she's got a bicycle chain waiting for her.
“You lazy, bum,” Suzu jokes.
“You're not leaving that outside again,” Time Warp says. The fact that she's somewhat caught up in the conversation catches me by surprised, but then again, I guess it did take some time for Hachisame to lock up her chair.
“Nothings going to happen to it, and 'No', It's not going to rain,” Hachisame says.
“What if it rains?” Time Warp asks. That just gets a big smile out of Hachisame. “I hate it when you do that, you know,” she says a moment later.
“It'll be fine,” Hachisame says. “Nobody wants to steal a wheelchair.”
“I could carry it up the stairs,” I say, trying to solve the little dispute, but Suzu puts her arm out gesturing me to just stay back.
“We're not leaving your wheelchair down here.” Tana's voice seems a bit more firm than I've heard it in the past.
“Don't worry about it,” Hachisame says again, making a show of putting her key in her pocket. “Let's go eat some food.”
“Remember what happened last time you said it would be fine?” Tana says.
“Yes, I do. It was fine.” Hachisame quickly turns her head to me and Suzu and shouts “Quick run up the stairs!” She says it with such urgency that I don't even take time to question her. I just run up the stairs.
… or that was the idea anyway. Lack of depth perception strikes again, as start to run, I slam my hand against the hand rail and respond with a sharp cry of pain.
“I'm sorry. I thought-- I was just joking around. We'd all be up the stairs before she had time to react. It's my fault,” Hachisame says placing her hand on my shoulder.
I think I'm actually crying. I'm not gushing tears, but my eye feels moist and the vision from the eye is a bit fogy. Just picturing what I look like, a one eyed girl holding her hand and crying, makes me feel even worse.
“Are you alright? You didn't bust anything, did you?” Suzu asks. There's some obvious concern in her voice, more than I would have expected from somebody that's practically a stranger.
“No. It's okay. I'll be fine,” I say it, but that doesn't make the throbbing pain hurt less. “I've had worse.” For one brief moment an idea comes into my head, a horrible idea. “Recently too,” I add. I use my good hand to momentarily lift the the eyepatch and show her where my face has been sutured together over the gabbing hole. I chuckle slightly but nobody else finds it funny.
The argument about the wheelchair is dropped as we all head up the stairs. Although as we walk up, I do hear Suzu softly say, “You'll note I didn't run towards the stairs.”
Time Warp knocks on the second door at the top of the steps. It's not long before a middle aged man with a bowl haircut and a bushy mustache answers the door. What stands out even more is the overwhelming aroma of spices and freshly fried foods.
“Well, if it isn't my favorite girls. Come in, come in. Welcome to Casa de Wakahisa,” he say. I can't help but shoot a quick glance towards Tana and smile a little. If she responds, I don't notice.
“Hi, Uncle Kaito!” Time Warp cries out happily. “This is Hitomi Fuka.” I'll let that mistake slide for now. I can't expect her to remember my surname exactly after only hearing it a time or two. “She moved into Motoko's old room, so we've been showing her around.”
“Thank you for inviting us, Mr. Wakahisa,” I politely bow.
“Please, if you're a friend of Little Tana's you can just call me Uncle Kaito. Are you liking the school so far?” I shrug and mumble without actually saying anything. He seems to accept that as an answer. Without any warning he then claps his hands together loudly. “So, how about we all go inside instead of just hanging out by the door.” That sounds like a great idea to me. I'm practically drooling already.
His apartment doesn't seem so much decorated as scattered with nick-knacks. It seems like there’s various little trinkets scattered around. Everywhere you look, there are small statues, models, and various dust covered mementos. A few spider webs in the corner and some clothing just thrown over the furniture also tells me that cleaning isn't one of his biggest priorities either. It must run in the family.
“You've made kabayaki and unadon! You are too good to us, Uncle Kaito!” Hachisame says. While I was standing there taking in the trinkets that filled every little corner, the rest of the gang had already wandered off into the kitchen leaving just me and Mr. Wakahisa in the living room area.
“Drinks are in the fridge, help yourself,” he says calling out to the others. “So, are you okay?” Mr. Wakahisa asks me once everybody has gone to get their drinks.
“Yeah, I … recently had an accident. This will be my first year here.” I really don't feel like explaining it right now.
“I'm sorry to hear that,” he says softly to me in that tone people use when they don't know exactly what to say. “But I was talking about your hand. You've been holding it since I opened the door and your cheeks like a little red and puffy. Have you been crying?” It's nice to know that I can always find a new way to make myself feel like an idiot without even trying.
“I'll be fine, Mr. Kaito. I just bumped my hand coming up stairs,” I tell him.
“You should be more careful,” he says. “Let me get some ice for that, make it feel a little better anyway.”
“Really. I'll be fine,” I say. My hand still throbs a little, but it's easy to ignore, much easier than the itchy eye socket I had to put up with. If I can handle that, I can handle anything. “If you don't mind, I'd just like to eat and more importantly, sit down for a little bit. It was a long walk.” He just smiles and chuckles at me. Soon we join the others around the table where they've already started filling their plates.
“You know your dad is going to ask me, so how did things go at the hospital?” Mr. Wakahisa asks Tana as he takes his seat. I can't tell how long it takes Tana to reply, since she has to swallow a mouthful of fried vegetables before she can answer.
“I'm actually kind of bummed about that,” she says rather matter-of-factly. “They said there was no improvement from last year and if you remember there wasn't a huge change then either.” As she talks, she stirs the food on her plate with a fork, mixing things together.
“Well, at least my day didn't suck,” Hachisame exclaims. "My dad was in was in the city on business, so I went to see him. He had some meetings, but after that we caught a movie together and went out to eat, so that was cool.” I'm noticing Hachisame has an disgusting habit of talking with her mouth full.
“This is as good as it gets for you, huh?” Suzu asks Tana, completely ignoring Hachisame's attempts to steer the conversation towards herself.
“We saw Maiko Haaaan!!!. It was pretty good,” Hachisame continues.
“I've been wanting to see that,” Suzu says softly.
“Yeah, this is pretty much it,” Tana says, answering Suzu's earlier question.
“You had to go to the hospital today?” I ask Tana. I guess that would explain why I couldn't find her earlier. “Are you alright?”
“It wasn't anything serious. She was just going for some tests,” Mr. Wakahisa answers.
“My condition is extremely rare, so I go there every once in a while and let them run some tests on me. They actually pay me for it too, which is awesome. Today though, not so awesome.” She pauses from her explanation to take another bite, prompting me to ask her to continue.
“They were testing my reaction time today. Apparently, I'm not getting any better anymore,” as she talks, I watch some meat fall off of her fork and land in her lap. She puts the fork in her mouth and actually starts chewing before she even notices the food is missing. When she does, she just sighs and wipes the food off her lap.
I'm still lost. “Getting better anymore?”
“My reaction time has improved as I've gotten older by a couple of fractions of a second a year. When I was really little, I was about two or three times slower than I am these days,” Tana says it casually but I can't help but think how horrible that is. I thought she was bad now, but knowing that she used to be much worse is a sobering thought.
“So, nobody cares about my movie?' Hachisame asks.
“It's been a while since I've been to a theater,” I say between bites, since before my accident at least. “Was it any good?”
“Hilarious,” Hachisame says. “You should go check it out.” I nod to her, as my mouth is too full to actually speak, although that doesn't seem to be stopping Hachisame any.
“Don't listen to her, she has horrible taste in movies,” Time Warp says with a smile.
Conversation took a more typical turn from that point with no more discussion of the various medical problems we all had. Most of us had anyway. As far as I know, Mr. Wakahisa is healthy, but for the most part he stayed out of the conversation anyway and just let us girls socialize.
“Thanks, Uncle Kaito. That was really good,” Hachisame says. She's actually the first of us to finish eating despite eating more than the rest of us combined.
“I was hoping you felt that way, you certainly ate enough of it,” he replies with a smile.
“Well, you're an awesome cook,” Hachisame says. She slaps her stomach to further emphasize the point.
“It really was nice, Mr. Kaito,” I add. “Do you all do this often?”
“Maybe once a month or every other month, Little Tana will bring some of her friends over. Usually I don't cook like this. Although if her dad asks, I check on her every week.” He gives an exaggerated smile and a conspiratorial glance towards Tana. “Anyway, it was nice cooking for somebody other than myself and Godzilla. I don't get a chance to do that very often.”
Wait.
Did he just say...?
“Godzilla?” I ask cautiously.
“Oh, yeah. He's in the bedroom. I wasn't sure how he could handle all the excitement tonight,” Mr. Kaito says. “He tends to overdo things and then crushes everything under his enormous feet.” I look at him bewildered. The other girls and suppressing giggles. I just know they're messing with me now, but I don't get the joke. “let me just go get him real quick.”
Mr. Kaito gets up from the table and disappears into the backroom. Seconds later, he returns carry a small dog.
“Here he comes, stepping on buildings, destroying towns, getting his name said wrong...” Tana says in her best dramatic announcer voice.
“Say 'hi' to everybody, Godzilla,” Mr. Kaito says holding his dog up for us all to see. The dog just looks around like he has no idea what's going on. I'm not a dog person myself, but the little fluffball does look kinda cute.
“Hi, Godzilla,” Suzu says waving at the dog.
“Godzilla is my Pomeranian,” Mr. Kaito says before setting the little dog down on the floor where it quickly scampers away.
“Well, he's cute,” I say.
“He's okay, I guess, Hachisame says. “I've never much cared for dogs myself.”
“He keeps me company,” Mr. Kaito replies.
“So, I suppose I should get all you girls back to school. You want to have plenty of rest for the big day tomorrow,” Mr. Kaito says.
“Amen to that,” Suzu says before taking a sip from her cup. “Not that it'll do me much good anyway,” she adds after she finished.
“You don't mind if I take some of this with me, do you?” Hachisame asks.
Mr. Kaito fixes us all plates to take back with us, (some of them obviously larger than others), loads Hachisame's wheelchair into his van, and drives us all back to school.
As we stand by the gate and watch him drive back down the hill, Time Warp goes to put her hand on my shoulder, but misses due to me taking a few steps to get a better look at the town. I hadn't actually realized how isolated this place was until now.
“Enjoy your last free moments,” Time Warp says. We all stand there and look down the hill. The few lights from buildings and lamp posts seem to struggle to cut through the otherwise quiet darkness.
“What are we looking at?” Hachisame finally says after a few minutes.
“I have no idea. I just didn't want to be left out,” Suzu adds.
“Well, I'm going back inside,” Hachisame says, she lifts the tin foil that was used to cover her take-out plate and pops a small nugget of food into her mouth.
“Mind if I get back to my game,” Suzu asks Tana.
“Yeah, sure,” Tana says. “How about you, Hitomi?”
“I think I'll just turn in now. The sooner I get to sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes,” I tell her. Another big reason for wanting to go to sleep is that I think I ate too much, but I don't want to admit that. With that, we all begin to make our way back to the dorms.
Hachisame quickly disappears into her room and Tana opens the door for Suzu, but instead of entering, she follows me to my room. “One last thing I want to warn you about before school starts,” Tana says in a deadly serious tone. She seems to pause for added emphasis, although admittedly, it's hard for me to tell with her. “The horrifying dark secret of Yamaku...,” again she pauses. This time I can tell she's doing it on purpose. “There's a severe shortage of cute boys here,” she says dropping her serious tone and expression. “Good night,” she giggles and turns back to her own room.
Part 7
When I first arrived, I expected to have plenty of time to adjust to this place before school started. School starts tomorrow and I'm as lost as ever. It's not that I can't find my way around or anything, it's that I still don't know how to handle the people here. Everything feels so close to normal but never quite reaches it. It's like I packed up and moved into the Uncanny Valley.
If that wasn't bad enough, I'm beginning to think I fit in. It's not like you see 17 year old girls with eye patches at most normal schools. Here, on the other hand, I've already seen three ... not that I've made a point of talking to any of them. Walking up to a complete stranger and saying "So, you lost an eye too...,” doesn't strike me as the best conversation starter. So, I've just avoided them. Then again, today I've avoided just about everyone.
The dormitories have been bustling with students coming back from wherever they've been today. I thought about just getting out of here and going somewhere with Time Warp and Hachisame, but that didn't happen. They never stopped by and when I did try to look for them, they were nowhere to be found. I did see Rin with some younger girl in striped stockings though. I thought about joining them but decided against it. Rin can be a bit too spacey for my tastes. Besides, I didn't want to intrude. So instead, I just stayed in my room reading and listening to my music.
Sometime around lunch, somebody from the school staffed knocked on my door and asked if I would need help finding my classroom tomorrow. I told them I'd be fine and they just checked my name off a list and moved on. Otherwise, I haven't been bothered.
I kinda wished I was.
Bothered I mean.
Today is taking forever to finish.
My small collection of magazines and mangas have been read and re-read several times and the cafeteria isn't open for dinner yet. I'm bored out of my skull. Actually, I think I passed bored a few hours ago. I've now reached some new undiscovered form of mega-boredom. When the history of boredom is being written, it will be said that no one has ever been as bored as Hitomi Fuku.
My eyes wander around my small and mostly undecorated room hoping that there would be something that catches my attention. Some small spark of an idea that would give me something to do. All I see are the same magazines I've been reading, the same snacks, the same case of bottled water, the same uniform draped across a chair waiting for me to wear it tomorrow. … Actually, that does give me a bit of an idea.
I haven't really tried on my uniform. Lacking anything better to do, I slip out of the clothes I've been wearing and into the uniform of a Yamaku student. I want to say something positive about it like, “the fabric is comfortable,” or “it fits well,” but nothing stands out. It's pretty much like any other uniform to any other school. There's only one thing that really sticks out about it is the length of the skirt, and that's my own fault.
I really wish I had paid better attention when picking out my clothes. An ankle length skirt just looks so … so … something. The eyepatch really doesn't help either. As I'm trying to figure out the best word to properly insult my looks, there's an unexpected knock on the door. I jump slightly, like I've been caught doing something I shouldn't have been. Then I feel stupid for having jumped like that. I'm just trying on a uniform. There's nothing wrong with that.
“Just a minute,” I call out. I quickly debate with myself whether to change back into normal clothes before answering the door or not. Then I realize that I've already made them wait while thinking about it. I suppose I can always say I'm just being an eager student. That's not too dorky.
Dorky? No. I don't look dorky in the uniform. That's not the word I was looking for. I'm really going to have to brush up on my insults.
“Can I help you?” I ask as I open the door.
“Hey. How are you doing?” a blue haired girl says unenthusiastically. I have no idea who she is, but she looks like she just woke up. It's a pretty strange look for this late in the evening. She's got a bad case of bed-hair and bags under her eyes. She's wearing sweat pants and flip-flops. Her shirt looks several sizes too big and hangs off one shoulder. “You're Hitomi, right?”
“I am,” I say to her inquisitively.
“You doing anything tonight?” she asks covering a yawn with her hand. She must of read my bewildered expression as she quickly clarifies. “Tana sent me. We're going to her uncle's place for supper in about an hour if you're interested.” She pauses and smiles a little. The expression is the kind of sloppy overdone smile that you get late in the evenings when you're too tired to think properly and everything seems funnier than it should be. “Even, if you're not interested, we're still going.”
“Oh, sure. Let me get ready. Tell her I'll meet her in her room in just a few minutes,” I say eagerly. Any excuse to get out of this place and actually do something is a welcome one.
“Take your time. You got an hour. She hasn't even started getting ready herself,” the girl says turning away. “Nice patch by the way.” she says. “Not many people can pull off that look, but you do it well.”
“Thanks,” I say softly.
I have no idea how to take that.
Once the door closes, I gulp down the bottled water I've been sipping for the last half hour. Time to get to work. I really should have asked how formal this was supposed to be. I want to make a good impression but I don't want to over do it either. Stripping out of my school clothes and neat folding them, I begin digging through my closet.
After some deliberation, I pick one of my newer blouses. It's light yellow with billowed sleeves and a high collar, formal without being too dressy. I've only wore it a few times. One of my friends told me it made me look too old. Honestly, I'm not even sure how it got packed with my stuff. It was probably mom's doing. With it, a pick out a nice tan skirt, about knee length, giving me a look that's neither excessively flamboyant nor too bland or casual.
That's the length I should have got my uniform skirt. Knee length. I'm going to look like such a dork tomorrow. Wait. I've got it now. “Frumpy” I look frumpy.
Somehow, even with my simulating intellectual pondering I manage to get dressed far too quickly. I was able to prepare myself in about ten minutes, leaving the rest of the hour to wait. Having something to do excited me more than I thought it would.
I check and recheck my hair a few times and end up changing my shoes from dress sandals to comfortable loafers. Then I switch out my eyepatch for a bandage wrap before deciding that the eyepatch looked better after all. That burns a few minutes, but not nearly enough time. So I just wait.
And refold my uniform neater.
And wait.
I wish my room was bigger so I could pace around it.
With fifteen minutes left before the deadline, I go to Time Warp's room and knock. To my surprise, the knock is answered right away.
“Come on in,” a voice that isn't Time Warp's says.
There's a lot to take in as I step inside. It's the first time I've been in Time Warp's room. Clothes are thrown everywhere. There's more than a few empty snack packages laying about. A corner of her room seems overstuffed with a computer and various attachments, some of them partially disassembled. The wires twist around each other making one big tangle. The blue haired girl from earlier is sitting in front of the computer playing a game of some type.
Tana's a bit of a pig apparently. I would have expected that from Hachisame, but for some reason, I thought Tana would be more organized. I guess I was wrong.
Time Warp soon notices me. She's wearing a pair of overalls made into shorts and no shirt on underneath. There's enough fabric there to cover most of her bra, but somehow that only makes her look more naked. It's certainly a daring look. I wouldn't leave the house like that if somebody made me. “Welcome to Cosa de Wakahisa,” she says with a smile.
“Thanks. It's nice,” I say. It may be messy, but at least it looks lived in. There's a certain comfort to that. My room still feels foreign to me. While I know that it's my room, it doesn't yet feel like it's mine. It's feels more like I'm just staying for a while.
“Sit down, make yourself at home,” the blue haired girl says without turning from her videogame. It's an older style one. I've never kept up with videogames, so I can't tell exactly what it is.
“It's a dump,” Tana says. It takes me a second to realize that she's replying to my 'it's nice' comment. “Ah, here we go. I told you I still had it,” she adds pulling a green and pink t-shirt out of the laundry basket. I feel much less uneasy once she undoes the straps on her overalls and puts a shirt on.
“Why are you telling me? I'm the one that told you you hadn't thrown that thing away,” the blue haired girl says to Tana.
“I'm really glad you could come,” Tana says to me. “I was going to mention it to you earlier, but, you know...” she says. For something I supposedly know, I'm completely clueless about. Tana turns towards the other girl, “and you did not tell me I hadn't thrown it out. You said you didn't remember seeing me throw it out. There's a difference.” Blue Hair just shrugs, something that will no doubt take Tana longer to realize. “Anyway, one at a time,” she says quickly pointing from the blue haired girl to me and back again. “Hitomi.”
I feel like I've been put on the spot. “So, umm... thanks for inviting me. Who else is coming? Me, you, Hachisame, that girl, and Rin?”
“I suppose I would be 'that girl'? I thought I introduced myself,” the blue haired girls says. Turning around in her chair she smiles and bows slightly. “My apologies. I'm Suzu Suzuki.” She gives me a look that suggests she's used to people making bad jokes about her name. “You know what they say. 'A rose by the same two names --'” she stops abruptly and swivels around in the chair back to her videogame. “... Sorry. I have no clue where I was going with that,” she mumbles.
“So, Hitomi and Suzu, now you know each other. To answer your other question, Rin isn't going to be coming with us tonight. Ibarazaki is back, so Rin is going to be spending more time with her.” Tana says. She points over to Suzu.
“Right now we're just waiting on 'Same,” Suzu says, yawning loudly as she finishes.
"Didn't get much sleep last night?' I ask. She chuckles slightly at my question.
"That's cute," she says in response. Looking for some change in my expression and apparently not seeing it, she sighs and rolls her eyes at me. "They didn't mention me, did they? I guess this would be the part where we swap sob stories." There's a loud cracking sound as she rolls her neck. "I'm narcoleptic. I don't get enough sleep. Ever. I'm always tired. It sucks. You somehow lost an eye. Pleased to meet you." She bows again as she finishes her curt introduction.
"I didn't mean anything by it," I tell her.
"No biggie. Some of us are born broken, others have broken thrust upon us. So, what happened to you anyway?" she asks.
"I … err... stabbed myself," I tell her.
"That was kind of a stupid thing to do, wasn't it?" she says with a grin.
"It was an accident." There's perhaps a bit too much defense in my voice. I see her eyes grow wide temporarily as she realizes she's gone too far.
"Sorry. I didn't know it was a touchy subject. I was just messing with you," she says with a more calm and reserved smile on her face. “Nothing personal.” We stare at each other for a moment, as I juggle with whether to accept the apology or bite back. Then I feel a tug on my sleeve.
“I do love that outfit,” Tana says. “Very classy.” I'm not exactly sure how much of the exchange between myself and Suzu and got through to her yet, but I'm glad for the change in topic.
“I just thought I'd dress up a bit tonight. You know how it is, sometimes you just feel like looking good,” I blatantly lie.
“It is pretty hot,” Suzu adds. For the first time since I've came in, she seems to be really looking at me, studying me maybe.
“Thank you, and thank you,” I say, turning to Suzu and then Tana. “If either of you want to borrow it sometime, let me know. Suzu chuckles slightly at this.
“I have my own style. It's called 'whatever's comfortable.'” As she says this, she strikes a pose as if to imitate a fashion model.
“Strike a pose,” Tana says as she finally catches up to what Suzu is doing. She motions as if she's taking pictures. “Oh yeah, give it to me. Now pout. Now let's see angry. Oh, you're beautiful baby. The fashion world is going to go wild for you!” Watching Tana and Suzu's mock fashion photography and their horrible attempts to sync up with each other is enough to get a good laugh out of me. I was just starting to think that I wouldn't get along with that blue haired girl too.
A loud banging interrupts Suzu's modeling and a familiar voice on the other side of the door calls out “Pizza!”
“We didn't order any pizza!” Suzu calls back.
Hachisame throws the door open and wheels herself in. She has an obvious lack of anything resembling pizza. “Good, 'cause I'm not going to give you any pizza!” she says with mock disdain.
“You're a horrible delivery person,” Suzu mumbles.
“Does that mean I don't get my tip?” she asks.
“Hello, 'Same,” I say, trying out Suzu's nickname for her. Somehow it just doesn't feel right. I think I'll just stick to calling her by her full name.
She nods her head at me and does that thing where she smiles and clicks her teeth together again. “Everybody ready?” she asks. Hachisame is wearing a black tank top with a gypsy style skirt and a shark tooth necklace. It's not even the same shark tooth necklace. She must have multiples of these things. I am feeling horribly overdressed for this group. I've got a formal dinning look and they're got a burger and fries style going for them. My pajamas would look more formal than what Suzu is wearing.
There's a slight bit of small talk as Suzu looks for a place to save her game, then we all head out.
Just about everything in the school is designed to be wheelchair accessible, but Hachisame has no problems getting out of the chair and pulling it along in areas where it would be quicker to step over things. Every time she does, I look around nervously expecting somebody to lecture us about using a wheelchair when we don't need one. Nobody ever says anything though.
In no time at all, we're off the grounds and down the hill. There's quite a bit of casual chatter, but between Suzu's sleepy demeanor and Tana's delayed reaction, it's hard to keep a conversation flowing naturally. I mostly just listen and hoping to catch up on anything going around here.
“You don't mind if I borrow the chair, do you?” Suzu says once we've reached the edges of town.
Her request catches me so off guard, I end up tripping over my own feet and nearly stumbling into Time Warp. You can't just ask to borrow somebody's wheelchair … Can you?
Hachisame shrugs. “No problem.” It's a few more steps before Time Warp catches up with the conversation and stops the wheelchair. With a grunt, Hachisame pulls herself out of the chair. Suzu quickly takes her place. She looks surprisingly small as she positions herself in a way that's obviously meant for napping rather than sitting upright.
I watch with a mixture of curiosity and appall. Doesn't Hachisame need that? How can Suzu just ask to use it? I refrain from saying anything about it, but it feels horribly wrong, probably the most wrong thing I've seen so far at this school, which is saying alot.
With the interruption cutting through most of the chit-chat, I decide to grasp at some semblance or normality and ask something I've been wondering since we left the school. “Where does you Uncle live anyway?”
A few more steps and Time Warp turns her head just slightly off from where I'm at.
“He's got an apartment in town. It's about a fifteen minute walk from here,” she says.
“Yeah, the place has some kind of deal with the school where teacher and family get some kind of discount on their rent,” Hachisame cuts in. “or something,” her tone tells me she both doesn't know the details nor does she care about them. “If we seen anybody from school, we'll point 'em out to you,” she adds.
So much for getting away from the school.
Our pace slows considerably. Hachisame has taken over pushing the wheelchair and lags behind the rest of us slightly. Tana, for natural reasons can't exactly take the lead either and I have no clue where I'm going. Our odd arrangement results in me acting as some kind of spotter for her, turning my head back and forth in in case anything is about to happen that she wouldn't have time to perceive.
Even with Hachisame bringing up the rear, I can't help but turn and look at her quite often. Only part of this is because she has the tendency to talk about everything that crosses her mind and point out anything we pass that's even remotely interesting to her. I've seen her out of her wheelchair several times, but rarely for this long a period. She has strikingly wide hips. I know that she's usually sitting down and often has a towel or blanket over her lap when she does, but I'm surprised I've never actually noticed it before. Even the flowing gypsy style skirt she's wearing doesn't hide them well. That's probably why Suzu looked so small sitting in her wheelchair. Once I notice that, my eyes … eye … is repeatedly drawn to her.
“Are you sure you're okay walking long distances like this?” I ask. “I remember saying you had weak legs.” Rather than getting me any kind of explanation, she instead just simply smiles and clicks her teeth together again, as though she doesn't have any care in the world and I'm foolish for even asking.
About forty five minutes later Hachisame reaches down and ruffles Suzu's hair. “Yo', Snuzu, wakey wakey.” Rather than the grogginess I expected, Suzu's eyes snap right open. In fact, this is the most alert I've seen her yet.
“That was a nice nap,” she says almost leaping out of the wheelchair.
“So, we're here?” I say mostly just for the sake of having something to say.
“It's right up ahead,” Hachisame says pointing down the street.
“It's just up ahead, right around the corner,” Tana says right after that, having missed Hachisame's announcement.
“I feel like I should be saying it's ahead,” Suzu says barely holding back a laugh.
“Seems to be the thing to say,” I comment. God that was lame.
We all turn the corner. Halfway down the street is a large sign saying “Sunshine Estates,” written in both English and Kanji. A thick line of trees helps hide the tall black fence that surrounds the place, giving it a private and secluded look. Electronic locks on the gate further enforce the feeling of privacy.
Time warp steps forward to enter the passcode to the lock on the sidewalk gate. As it swings open, Suzu grabs the gate and holds it for us.
As we walk through a young woman on a vespa scooter calls out to us. “Umm... Hello? … Excuse me? I'm sorry, but... I'm having some problems here.” She's been sitting at the drive in gate since we rounded the corner, but I didn't think anything of it until now. “I really hate to trouble you and hope it's not a bother.” She paused and gave a nervous self deprecatory laugh. “You see, I usually have the passcode written down but I lost the paper it was on--Oh, I'm sorry. I really do live here. I can show you my ID that has my address on--”
“It's 5637, Yuuko,” Time Warp says. The lady's fumbled request for help gave even Tana enough time to react to it.
“Thank you. Thank you. I knew it was those numbers, but I couldn't remember what order. I tried 5736 and then 3756 then … I tried a bunch of things but... thanks. Thank you... umm... I don't mean to be ungrateful, but I should get going now.” With the way she talked, you'd think she's asked for help performing surgery rather than something simple like a entrance code. She bows to us, hitting her helmeted head against the scooters handlebars as she does and then drives away.
“And that was the school's librarian. One of them, anyway,” Hachisame says. So, it seems the students aren't the only oddities at the school. That's surprisingly uncomforting.
“Bye, Yuuko. See you in school.” Despite her having already ridden off, Tana waves to where the librarian had just been. I cringe slightly as I watch, but neither Suzu nor Hachisame react.
Once we reach the last building at the back of the apartment complex, Hachisame gets out of her wheelchair. She fishes around in her pocket before producing a small key. My first thought is why would she have a key to Tana's Uncle's place. However, she pushes her wheelchair over to a bicycle rack, and uses the key to unlock a chain that that's hanging there.
“What? You didn't expect me to carry the thing upstairs, did you?” she smiles at me. I guess the surprise was pretty evident in my expression. I suppose that also means she comes here a lot if she's got a bicycle chain waiting for her.
“You lazy, bum,” Suzu jokes.
“You're not leaving that outside again,” Time Warp says. The fact that she's somewhat caught up in the conversation catches me by surprised, but then again, I guess it did take some time for Hachisame to lock up her chair.
“Nothings going to happen to it, and 'No', It's not going to rain,” Hachisame says.
“What if it rains?” Time Warp asks. That just gets a big smile out of Hachisame. “I hate it when you do that, you know,” she says a moment later.
“It'll be fine,” Hachisame says. “Nobody wants to steal a wheelchair.”
“I could carry it up the stairs,” I say, trying to solve the little dispute, but Suzu puts her arm out gesturing me to just stay back.
“We're not leaving your wheelchair down here.” Tana's voice seems a bit more firm than I've heard it in the past.
“Don't worry about it,” Hachisame says again, making a show of putting her key in her pocket. “Let's go eat some food.”
“Remember what happened last time you said it would be fine?” Tana says.
“Yes, I do. It was fine.” Hachisame quickly turns her head to me and Suzu and shouts “Quick run up the stairs!” She says it with such urgency that I don't even take time to question her. I just run up the stairs.
… or that was the idea anyway. Lack of depth perception strikes again, as start to run, I slam my hand against the hand rail and respond with a sharp cry of pain.
“I'm sorry. I thought-- I was just joking around. We'd all be up the stairs before she had time to react. It's my fault,” Hachisame says placing her hand on my shoulder.
I think I'm actually crying. I'm not gushing tears, but my eye feels moist and the vision from the eye is a bit fogy. Just picturing what I look like, a one eyed girl holding her hand and crying, makes me feel even worse.
“Are you alright? You didn't bust anything, did you?” Suzu asks. There's some obvious concern in her voice, more than I would have expected from somebody that's practically a stranger.
“No. It's okay. I'll be fine,” I say it, but that doesn't make the throbbing pain hurt less. “I've had worse.” For one brief moment an idea comes into my head, a horrible idea. “Recently too,” I add. I use my good hand to momentarily lift the the eyepatch and show her where my face has been sutured together over the gabbing hole. I chuckle slightly but nobody else finds it funny.
The argument about the wheelchair is dropped as we all head up the stairs. Although as we walk up, I do hear Suzu softly say, “You'll note I didn't run towards the stairs.”
Time Warp knocks on the second door at the top of the steps. It's not long before a middle aged man with a bowl haircut and a bushy mustache answers the door. What stands out even more is the overwhelming aroma of spices and freshly fried foods.
“Well, if it isn't my favorite girls. Come in, come in. Welcome to Casa de Wakahisa,” he say. I can't help but shoot a quick glance towards Tana and smile a little. If she responds, I don't notice.
“Hi, Uncle Kaito!” Time Warp cries out happily. “This is Hitomi Fuka.” I'll let that mistake slide for now. I can't expect her to remember my surname exactly after only hearing it a time or two. “She moved into Motoko's old room, so we've been showing her around.”
“Thank you for inviting us, Mr. Wakahisa,” I politely bow.
“Please, if you're a friend of Little Tana's you can just call me Uncle Kaito. Are you liking the school so far?” I shrug and mumble without actually saying anything. He seems to accept that as an answer. Without any warning he then claps his hands together loudly. “So, how about we all go inside instead of just hanging out by the door.” That sounds like a great idea to me. I'm practically drooling already.
His apartment doesn't seem so much decorated as scattered with nick-knacks. It seems like there’s various little trinkets scattered around. Everywhere you look, there are small statues, models, and various dust covered mementos. A few spider webs in the corner and some clothing just thrown over the furniture also tells me that cleaning isn't one of his biggest priorities either. It must run in the family.
“You've made kabayaki and unadon! You are too good to us, Uncle Kaito!” Hachisame says. While I was standing there taking in the trinkets that filled every little corner, the rest of the gang had already wandered off into the kitchen leaving just me and Mr. Wakahisa in the living room area.
“Drinks are in the fridge, help yourself,” he says calling out to the others. “So, are you okay?” Mr. Wakahisa asks me once everybody has gone to get their drinks.
“Yeah, I … recently had an accident. This will be my first year here.” I really don't feel like explaining it right now.
“I'm sorry to hear that,” he says softly to me in that tone people use when they don't know exactly what to say. “But I was talking about your hand. You've been holding it since I opened the door and your cheeks like a little red and puffy. Have you been crying?” It's nice to know that I can always find a new way to make myself feel like an idiot without even trying.
“I'll be fine, Mr. Kaito. I just bumped my hand coming up stairs,” I tell him.
“You should be more careful,” he says. “Let me get some ice for that, make it feel a little better anyway.”
“Really. I'll be fine,” I say. My hand still throbs a little, but it's easy to ignore, much easier than the itchy eye socket I had to put up with. If I can handle that, I can handle anything. “If you don't mind, I'd just like to eat and more importantly, sit down for a little bit. It was a long walk.” He just smiles and chuckles at me. Soon we join the others around the table where they've already started filling their plates.
“You know your dad is going to ask me, so how did things go at the hospital?” Mr. Wakahisa asks Tana as he takes his seat. I can't tell how long it takes Tana to reply, since she has to swallow a mouthful of fried vegetables before she can answer.
“I'm actually kind of bummed about that,” she says rather matter-of-factly. “They said there was no improvement from last year and if you remember there wasn't a huge change then either.” As she talks, she stirs the food on her plate with a fork, mixing things together.
“Well, at least my day didn't suck,” Hachisame exclaims. "My dad was in was in the city on business, so I went to see him. He had some meetings, but after that we caught a movie together and went out to eat, so that was cool.” I'm noticing Hachisame has an disgusting habit of talking with her mouth full.
“This is as good as it gets for you, huh?” Suzu asks Tana, completely ignoring Hachisame's attempts to steer the conversation towards herself.
“We saw Maiko Haaaan!!!. It was pretty good,” Hachisame continues.
“I've been wanting to see that,” Suzu says softly.
“Yeah, this is pretty much it,” Tana says, answering Suzu's earlier question.
“You had to go to the hospital today?” I ask Tana. I guess that would explain why I couldn't find her earlier. “Are you alright?”
“It wasn't anything serious. She was just going for some tests,” Mr. Wakahisa answers.
“My condition is extremely rare, so I go there every once in a while and let them run some tests on me. They actually pay me for it too, which is awesome. Today though, not so awesome.” She pauses from her explanation to take another bite, prompting me to ask her to continue.
“They were testing my reaction time today. Apparently, I'm not getting any better anymore,” as she talks, I watch some meat fall off of her fork and land in her lap. She puts the fork in her mouth and actually starts chewing before she even notices the food is missing. When she does, she just sighs and wipes the food off her lap.
I'm still lost. “Getting better anymore?”
“My reaction time has improved as I've gotten older by a couple of fractions of a second a year. When I was really little, I was about two or three times slower than I am these days,” Tana says it casually but I can't help but think how horrible that is. I thought she was bad now, but knowing that she used to be much worse is a sobering thought.
“So, nobody cares about my movie?' Hachisame asks.
“It's been a while since I've been to a theater,” I say between bites, since before my accident at least. “Was it any good?”
“Hilarious,” Hachisame says. “You should go check it out.” I nod to her, as my mouth is too full to actually speak, although that doesn't seem to be stopping Hachisame any.
“Don't listen to her, she has horrible taste in movies,” Time Warp says with a smile.
Conversation took a more typical turn from that point with no more discussion of the various medical problems we all had. Most of us had anyway. As far as I know, Mr. Wakahisa is healthy, but for the most part he stayed out of the conversation anyway and just let us girls socialize.
“Thanks, Uncle Kaito. That was really good,” Hachisame says. She's actually the first of us to finish eating despite eating more than the rest of us combined.
“I was hoping you felt that way, you certainly ate enough of it,” he replies with a smile.
“Well, you're an awesome cook,” Hachisame says. She slaps her stomach to further emphasize the point.
“It really was nice, Mr. Kaito,” I add. “Do you all do this often?”
“Maybe once a month or every other month, Little Tana will bring some of her friends over. Usually I don't cook like this. Although if her dad asks, I check on her every week.” He gives an exaggerated smile and a conspiratorial glance towards Tana. “Anyway, it was nice cooking for somebody other than myself and Godzilla. I don't get a chance to do that very often.”
Wait.
Did he just say...?
“Godzilla?” I ask cautiously.
“Oh, yeah. He's in the bedroom. I wasn't sure how he could handle all the excitement tonight,” Mr. Kaito says. “He tends to overdo things and then crushes everything under his enormous feet.” I look at him bewildered. The other girls and suppressing giggles. I just know they're messing with me now, but I don't get the joke. “let me just go get him real quick.”
Mr. Kaito gets up from the table and disappears into the backroom. Seconds later, he returns carry a small dog.
“Here he comes, stepping on buildings, destroying towns, getting his name said wrong...” Tana says in her best dramatic announcer voice.
“Say 'hi' to everybody, Godzilla,” Mr. Kaito says holding his dog up for us all to see. The dog just looks around like he has no idea what's going on. I'm not a dog person myself, but the little fluffball does look kinda cute.
“Hi, Godzilla,” Suzu says waving at the dog.
“Godzilla is my Pomeranian,” Mr. Kaito says before setting the little dog down on the floor where it quickly scampers away.
“Well, he's cute,” I say.
“He's okay, I guess, Hachisame says. “I've never much cared for dogs myself.”
“He keeps me company,” Mr. Kaito replies.
“So, I suppose I should get all you girls back to school. You want to have plenty of rest for the big day tomorrow,” Mr. Kaito says.
“Amen to that,” Suzu says before taking a sip from her cup. “Not that it'll do me much good anyway,” she adds after she finished.
“You don't mind if I take some of this with me, do you?” Hachisame asks.
Mr. Kaito fixes us all plates to take back with us, (some of them obviously larger than others), loads Hachisame's wheelchair into his van, and drives us all back to school.
As we stand by the gate and watch him drive back down the hill, Time Warp goes to put her hand on my shoulder, but misses due to me taking a few steps to get a better look at the town. I hadn't actually realized how isolated this place was until now.
“Enjoy your last free moments,” Time Warp says. We all stand there and look down the hill. The few lights from buildings and lamp posts seem to struggle to cut through the otherwise quiet darkness.
“What are we looking at?” Hachisame finally says after a few minutes.
“I have no idea. I just didn't want to be left out,” Suzu adds.
“Well, I'm going back inside,” Hachisame says, she lifts the tin foil that was used to cover her take-out plate and pops a small nugget of food into her mouth.
“Mind if I get back to my game,” Suzu asks Tana.
“Yeah, sure,” Tana says. “How about you, Hitomi?”
“I think I'll just turn in now. The sooner I get to sleep, the sooner tomorrow comes,” I tell her. Another big reason for wanting to go to sleep is that I think I ate too much, but I don't want to admit that. With that, we all begin to make our way back to the dorms.
Hachisame quickly disappears into her room and Tana opens the door for Suzu, but instead of entering, she follows me to my room. “One last thing I want to warn you about before school starts,” Tana says in a deadly serious tone. She seems to pause for added emphasis, although admittedly, it's hard for me to tell with her. “The horrifying dark secret of Yamaku...,” again she pauses. This time I can tell she's doing it on purpose. “There's a severe shortage of cute boys here,” she says dropping her serious tone and expression. “Good night,” she giggles and turns back to her own room.
Last edited by Oddball on Sat Feb 02, 2019 6:32 pm, edited 14 times in total.
Not Dead Yet
Re: Freaks and Friends
The second sentence here seems more like a fragment, and you could probably roll it into the previous sentence by turning the period into a comma:My eyes wander around my small and mostly undecorated room hoping that there would be something that catches my attention. Some small spark of an idea that would give me something to do.
"attention, some"
Or an em dash:
"attention--some"
I think you meant 'neatly'.Stripping out of my school clothes and neat folding them,
'a' = 'I' ?With it, a pick out a nice tan skirt,
Ought to be a comma after 'pondering'.Somehow, even with my simulating intellectual pondering I manage
She doesn't know the blue-haired-girl's name until the next paragraph.There's a difference.” Suzu just shrugs,
Crustacean, isn't she?she says with a more clam
I'll read more tomorrow, I'm about to pass out...
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6148
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Freaks and Friends
Hey, an update! It's a bit difficult to remember all the details of what happened before, but I'm glad you're going to continue this.
So you introduced Suzu. Thank you for (apparently) going into a completely different direction with her narcolepsy than all the stories we've seen before.
A few nitpicks:
(btw, the next three lines following this are past tense... and in the last line it hould be "how much I've eaten".)
So you introduced Suzu. Thank you for (apparently) going into a completely different direction with her narcolepsy than all the stories we've seen before.
A few nitpicks:
But she said she'd be there in a few minutes...I was able to prepare myself in about ten minutes, leaving the rest of the hour to wait.
Somehow I get the impression that you have a different picture of a "coverall" in your mind than I do...She's wearing a pair of coveralls made into shorts and no shirt on underneath. There's enough fabric there to cover most of her bra, but somehow that only makes her look more naked.
It was probably Hachisame saying it, wasn't it?“I remember saying you had weak legs.”
Also, this being Japan, even the chain is probably unneccessary.“It'll be fine,” Hachisame says. “Nobody wants to steal a wheelchair.”
I probably don't have to tell you...“I know you're dad is going to ask me...
One "as" missing.“My reaction time has improved I've gotten older by a couple of fractions of a second a year.
I prefer not to use slang in inner monologues, especially for characters who don't use it in spoken lines either.Then again, I think she might have ate more than the rest of us combined.
(btw, the next three lines following this are past tense... and in the last line it hould be "how much I've eaten".)
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Freaks and Friends
I assumed he meant 'overalls', given the following description. It might be more clear to actually call them overalls if that's the case, though.Mirage_GSM wrote: Somehow I get the impression that you have a different picture of a "coverall" in your mind than I do...
foggy*eye feels moist and the vision from the eye is a bit fogy
on second look, you could condense the end of the sentence to:
"...feels moist and my vision is a bit foggy."
says*Welcome to Casa de Wakahisa,” he say.
I assume you started by writing that he gets the ice right away, then changed it to asking first. Either way, you only need gets or asks, not both.Mr. Wakahisa gets asks if I want some ice to put on my hand,
'In' should be 'I'm', I think.In actually rather eager to start eating.
If I can handle that*It I can handle that, I can handle anything.
continues*pretty good,” Hachisame contoinues.
doing a test on my* perhaps?“They were doing a testing my reaction time today.
That [as] seems to be missing.My reaction time has improved [as] I've gotten older
'though' should be 'thought', I believe.she used to be much worse is a sobering though.
The two 'said' instances here ought to be 'says' as it's supposed to be present tense. Also the 'said back' might read better as 'replies', and there should be a comma before 'slapping her stomach' as it's a separate action.“I was hoping you felt that way, you certainly ate enough of it,” he said back with a smile.
“Well, you're an awesome cook,” she said slapping her stomach.
There are several other points, especially in dialogue markers, where the tense seems to change: 'paused' instead of 'pauses', or 'asked' instead of 'asks'--things like that. Usually I run a search for 'ed', which covers most all past-tense instances.
conspiratory, or conspiratorial seem more appropriate here. I'd go with the latter.conspirator glance towards Tana
Okay, with all the mindless editorial corrections out of the way, allow me to praise the content.
As Mirage said, the characterization of Suzu is a nice change of pace, and, honestly, is more reminiscent of what I'd expect to be birthed from her expression in the class photo--sort of aloof and spacey, but probably a bit hardened by her condition. Having her not even introduce herself made that especially clear.
The idea that there might even be ankle-length skirts available as part of the uniforms never even occurred to me--I figured they'd be knee-length at most. Frumpy is probably an adequate description, but I like that someone mentioned it looked classy(or something to that effect), which is how I'd assess that kind of style.
So far my only issue with this whole story is it seems as though you're taking a long time to get started, and I'm not sure where the conflict will come from aside from the obvious 'new school' and 'missing an eye' angles. It feels like everything posted so far is prologue, which is fine and fun to read, and we get to learn about the characters before the proverbial shit hits the fan, but I'm curious about where it's all leading.
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LordDarknus
- Posts: 508
- Joined: Sat Oct 27, 2012 12:03 am
Re: Freaks and Friends
An interesting new final chapter of the "prologue", Oddball, right after this classes will start and the "fun will begin", I definitely look forward to that.
If I may, I have a less-than-professional opinion you maybe might find useful somehow;
The feel of 'quirkiness' that I got at the beginning of the series seems to have faded a bit, what attracted me most was that the characters themselves seem so outlandish, what with being able to walk without a wheelchair but still using one, and Time Warp being Time Warp. (and Hitomi seems to be the "tsukkomi" / "straight man" / "audience surrogate", in dealing with such "quirkiness")
The characters' "hilarious" / "unexpected" nature by themselves were a great contrast against the usually serious /sombre mood of being in a disabled school (though Katawa Shoujo itself was only somewhat moody / slightly melancholic at first). Even if they are "funny" unintentionally, the characters went against every normal expectation one would have for a disabled student's story at Yamaku. (Usually, stories like that are rife with lots of pity, tragic backstory, everyday difficulties, heavy drama and such)
Of course your characters are based on 'joke characters', but that doesn't mean that more normal situations or serious drama isn't welcome, it's just about timing and the flow of the plot. Adding too much quirkiness would make it unrealistic / unbelievable, but... I'm just saying, this is a very unique series that offers a more "unexpected" and "quirky" insight into Yamaku, and presumably Hisao's presence later on.
It's a unique and interesting angle to explore characters and Yamaku's inner workings.
EDIT: sorry
If I may, I have a less-than-professional opinion you maybe might find useful somehow;
The feel of 'quirkiness' that I got at the beginning of the series seems to have faded a bit, what attracted me most was that the characters themselves seem so outlandish, what with being able to walk without a wheelchair but still using one, and Time Warp being Time Warp. (and Hitomi seems to be the "tsukkomi" / "straight man" / "audience surrogate", in dealing with such "quirkiness")
The characters' "hilarious" / "unexpected" nature by themselves were a great contrast against the usually serious /sombre mood of being in a disabled school (though Katawa Shoujo itself was only somewhat moody / slightly melancholic at first). Even if they are "funny" unintentionally, the characters went against every normal expectation one would have for a disabled student's story at Yamaku. (Usually, stories like that are rife with lots of pity, tragic backstory, everyday difficulties, heavy drama and such)
Of course your characters are based on 'joke characters', but that doesn't mean that more normal situations or serious drama isn't welcome, it's just about timing and the flow of the plot. Adding too much quirkiness would make it unrealistic / unbelievable, but... I'm just saying, this is a very unique series that offers a more "unexpected" and "quirky" insight into Yamaku, and presumably Hisao's presence later on.
It's a unique and interesting angle to explore characters and Yamaku's inner workings.
EDIT: sorry
Last edited by LordDarknus on Wed Sep 04, 2013 10:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Re: Freaks and Friends
Honestly... not my best chapter. I had a hell of a time with that one. I won't bore you with the details. I do appreciate everyone chiming in and catching my more-than-usual amount of errrors this chapter, and commenting and letting me know what's working for you and what isn't.
This is a pretty experimental work for me, trying to balance introducing and fleshing out several characters that were previously one-note jokes as well as doing quite a bit of world building. At times I think I stray too far one way or the other, but live and learn.
If you want to know the truth, I had originally planned on rotating POVs between chapters, but as I started writing it, I realized two things.
First is that doing it that would spoil some of the reveals I had planned. (Although given the pace this is going, maybe that wouldn't have been as bad a thing as I had first thought.
) Second is that writing from Time Warp's point-of-view is insanely difficult. ... So Hitomi became my default main character.
This is a pretty experimental work for me, trying to balance introducing and fleshing out several characters that were previously one-note jokes as well as doing quite a bit of world building. At times I think I stray too far one way or the other, but live and learn.
If you want to know the truth, I had originally planned on rotating POVs between chapters, but as I started writing it, I realized two things.
First is that doing it that would spoil some of the reveals I had planned. (Although given the pace this is going, maybe that wouldn't have been as bad a thing as I had first thought.
) Second is that writing from Time Warp's point-of-view is insanely difficult. ... So Hitomi became my default main character.Not Dead Yet
Re: Freaks and Friends
Part 8
“Wahahaha! It's the first day of school! Everybody wake up!” a voice in the hall yells. I roll over and look at my alarm clock. It's six in the morning. This is way too early to get up. I decide then and there that I will dedicate the rest of my life to destroying this person … unless I change my mind or forget. Well, at least the rude wake up shocked me out of my normal 'why isn't my eye working?' panic.
I lay back down and pull the pillow over my head, but it's no use. Out in the hall, I can still hear whoever that was yelling. I'm awake now, groggy, but awake. I might as well start getting ready to go to school, even if it is still hours away.
The leftovers from last night are a bit cold now, but they make a good breakfast. The bathrooms are filled with other half asleep people angry at being woken up so early people so most of them don't bother trying to strike up conversation, which is nice. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone anyway.
Back in my room, I get dressed and wrap a bandage around my head to cover my missing eye. Then I just wait to see if any of my new acquaintances show up. Nobody said anything about walking to school together, but I always used to do that with my old friends. Of course, maybe that doesn't matter as much when school is just a few minutes from where you live.
While I'm bored and waiting, I finally take the time to examine my facial expressions in the mirror. Not having an eye doesn't seem to make that much of a difference in how my expressions look, although with the wrapped bandage around my head, it does obscure them a bit. I'm not exactly relived, but it's good to know that I still look more or less the same when I make a face.
Eventually actually doing something wins out over waiting for something I'm not sure about and I leave my room and make my way to the main building. I wish I could feel more excited or even nervous, but I don't. This is just too new … or maybe I'm still half asleep.
As I reach the main building, I look for a decent place to sit. Unfortunately, I don't see any benches so I'm stuck taking a seat at the top of the stairs. As I sit and watch the people slowly drifting into the school, I'm taken back by just how different this place is from any other school I've been to and it's not just because of the students. Granted, there are far too many missing limbs and crutches for this place to ever pass as normal, but it's not the parade of deformities I expected either. That's not what really sets the place apart though. It's how nice everyone is. Almost everyone makes a point of saying hello or at least smiling and nodding their head and several times complete strangers have stopped and asked if I wanted help getting to class. They weren't all teachers either. Most of them were other students, some of them even younger than I am. What I don't see is anyone else wearing an ankle length skirt like I am. Great. So much for not standing out.
Eventually, I spot Hachisame coming up the walkway. With her bleached blonde hair, dark skin, and the wheelchair, she sticks out in the crowd. Judging by the hair colors, I can assume that the people with her are Suzu and Time Warp. I wave, but none of them seem to notice me, so I just sit there and continue to scan the trickle of people approaching the building.
As they get closer to where I'm sitting, I notice that Hachisame's hair is still wet and Time Warp has pinned on of her introduction cards to her blouse. The oddest one though is Suzu. She doesn't even come close to wearing the normal uniform. Unless there's some optional uniform that consists of baggy light blue flannel with moons and bunnies on it, I think it's safe to say she's still wearing her pajamas. She isn't the only student I've seen without the proper uniform, but the others either at least wore somekind of uniform or at least tried to dress nice.
“Good morning,” I say to everyone.
“'Morning,” Suzu mumbles and nods.
“Hey, wha'cha up to?” Hachisame says. For a moment, I hesitate to tell her. What I'm up to is actually pretty stupid, but these are the my new friends now, I guess.
“We were looking for you,” Time Warp says. “We got back from our morning swim and you'd taken off without us.”
“Sorry about that,” I say. “As for what I'm up to... It's just … kind of an old joke with some friends of mine. You know how on cartoons you'll always see somebody come running up at the last minute with a piece of toast in their mouth? Well, the first day of school and after holidays me and my friends would always sit and watch for somebody like that.” It sounds even dumber when I say it out loud.
“Anybody ever show up like that?' Suzu asks.
“No, but we'd always joke about it,” I say. They're taking this much better than I expected them too. “So, umm... what's with the outfit?” I ask Suzu.
“The school doesn't enforcing the dress code for the first few days. I figure as long as I've got the opportunity, I might as well take advantage of it,” she says with a lazy grin. I start to say something, but stop myself. What could I really say to that anyway?
“Mind if we join you?” Time Warp asks. It takes me a moment to realize what she's talking about.
“Have fun with that. I'm heading to class while I've still got the energy to get there. Catch you all later.” Suzu says. We wave our goodbyes and she disappears into the school behind us.
Once she's gone, I scoot over and pat an empty spot on the concrete where I'm sitting. “Have a seat,” I say, indicating to Time Warp a spot where she'll be on my sighted side.
“Thanks, but I've brought my own,” Hachisame says and she smiles and clicks her teeth together. Time Warp sits down next to me, and a moment later rolls her eyes at Hachisame.
“So, we're looking for toast,” Hachisame says as sort of a sigh.
“Something like that. We're watching for anime cliches at the least,” I say.
“Oh, why the hell not?” she laughs.
“Mutou. I'm betting on Mutou,” Time Warp says looking out into the crowd.
“We're betting? Okay. Then Miki,” Hachisame says. I'd like to add something, but I have no idea who Miki is and Mutou... I think he was one of the teacher I met the other day. We sit there and watch the people for a little while. Hachisame and Tana point out some of the more notable people and share half stories that I'm never completely filled in on.
“Hey, there's Rin,” I say as I spot our armless companion. She's walking with a younger girl wearing stripped stockings and her hair in twintails.
“Okay, now I need to get going,” Hachisame says rather abruptly. “Later,” she says as she begins to wheel herself away.
“Good morning, Rin,” I say when she's finally in ear shot.
“It might be,” Rin says. “I'm not sure yet.”
“Good morning, Rin,” Time Warp says cheerfully. “Morning, Ibarazaki,” she adds in a more guarded tone. The younger girl glances around
“Rin, do you know this person?' the younger girl asks, completely ignoring Tana.
“We have met,” she says. The other girl take s a moment as if she's trying to figure out how to react to that. Eventually she just shrugs and smiles. “I'm Emi Ibarazaki of the track team,” she says.
I try to think of something to say I'm 'of' but nothing comes to mind. “I'm Hitomi Fuku. I'm new,” I simply say.
“Well, this is a pretty great school. I hope you like it here!” she says with more enthusiasm in her voice than before although she still glances around as though she's looking for something, “and don't let anyone give you the wrong impression of the place,” she adds. Although there isn't any obvious irritation in her voice, it's a pretty obvious jab at Tana. “I guess either way, I'll see you later.”
“I don't know if I'll see you later because I can't see the future, but it was nice seeing you this time,” Rin says flatly before the two of them walk off.
“Okay, what was that about?” I ask Tana once they've gone past us and into the building.
Tana takes a look over her shoulder just to make sure, but it's obvious to everyone but her that they're already gone. “Hachisame and Ibarazaki don't get along. You'll have to talk to her about that one. I'm not big on her either.” I'm a bit surprised but it makes sense. I suppose even among the disabled, some people are jerks. That's assuming she is disabled. I didn't see anything wrong with her.
“And Rin?” I ask.
“Rin's cool,” she says.
We sit there for another few minutes watching the people until a voice over the loudspeaker tells us that class will start in ten minutes.
“How long did you plan on sitting here?' Tana asks shortly after the loudspeaker cuts off.
“I guess I should probably find out where my classroom is,” I say.
“You're in 3-2. I'm in 3-4. It's the same hall. Follow me,” she says a moment later as she gets to her feet.
I grab and hold the door for her as we walk in, unfortunately, she doesn't seem to notice. “Laddies, first, she says with a smile, reaching out and going through the motions of opening the door for me. Once she finally realizes that I had already opened the door, she just stops and looks at me.
“I'm going to ask you a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Do you ever get used to that?” The phrasing feel strange as I say it. With a normal person, I'd could ask if it was okay to ask the question first, but then I'd have to wait for her to respond, then wait again for her to answer the actual question.
She shrugs and smiles once the words reach her. “Not really. I reach out for something I see. I got to touch it, and it's not there. It's a bit freaky... but what can you do, right?” she smiles with a shrug. “Anyway, to class!” she says and points in an overly dramatic manner.
She walks through the door and I follow, hitting my shoulder on the door as I enter. I make a point of walking though doors as close to the center as possible from here on. Misjudging my distance and bumping into things gets old real quick.
Inside the school, it's remarkably orderly, with students staying to one side of the hall or the other and nobody pushing through the crowd. Faculty members seem stationed at every corner eager to point people in the right direction. Tana leads me up several flights of stairs until we arrive at our destination. As we walk, a bell sounds followed by another loudspeaker announcement saying class begins in five minutes. The school seems somewhat empty, as though there are far more classes than there are students to fill them.
“This is your stop,” Time Warp says gesturing towards a door marked 3-2. “I'm just down the hallway. I'll see you later.” As she walks off, I realize something. I didn't change my shoes when I came inside. I have no idea how I could forget something so basic. I'm about ready to bolt for the front to look for the lockers when I realize that Time Warp didn't change hers either. Nervously I glance around. It seems almost everyone is wearing the same kind of shoes I am, more or less. Does this school not use indoor shoes? It feels weird and wrong. For the first time, I'm glad I'm wearing the ankle length skirt.
As I enter the classroom, I see various students sitting and talking to each other. The strange part is, most of them don't even appear to be looking at one another. They're just starring ahead blankly. I feel like I've entered the classroom of the damned.
“You must be Fuku. Is that correct?” a woman, who I'm taking to be the teacher, asks.
“That's correct, Ma'am,” I say.
“Your seat is the fourth row, second seat back,” she says. I look to where she's directed me. It's more or less the center of the class room. At this point most of the seats have been taken. Only a few still awaiting their occupants. I take my seat next to a girl in dark sunglasses. As I do, another student enters the room tapping at the ground with a cane like she's … Oh.
I quickly turn my head and look around. Many of the students here have canes. The canes, the blank looks … I'm in a class for people that can't see. As I'm wondering why I'm here, a man who looks to be in his middle twenties comes from the back of the class to where the girl with the cane is standing. They exchange a few words and her guides her to her seat. The man looks too old to be a student, but if he's a teacher, he's a young one. He continues to assist students as they come in. It's not long until all the seats are filled except for the one to my immediate left and the one at the far corner of the room.
The bell rings and just to make sure the point comes across, there's another intercom announcement welcoming everyone to Yamaku and saying that classes have begun. Once it's silent, the teacher walks to the center of the classroom and the man from the back takes his place beside her.
“Welcome back to Yamaku,” she says to the class. “I'm Miyagi and this is --” her words are interrupted by the door opening and a tall blonde foreigner walking in. The girl takes one step inside the classroom and stops as though she's waiting for permission to continue. “Trying to be fashionably late, Miss Satou?” the teacher says.
The blonde girl, who I notice is walking with a cane of her own, wears an expression that seems to be a bit of shame and disappointment. “I sincerely apologize.”
“I take it you were having issues with a friend of yours?” the teacher asks.
“I was,” Satou says with a bit of hesitation.
“and the results of those issues?” Miyagi continues.
“She's promised that tomorrow will be her first day of school,” Satou adds with a soft sigh.
“I suppose that's as much as can be expected,” Miyagi says. “Come now and Daisuke will help you to your seat. The man takes the cuff of Satou's blouse in-between his fingers and leads her to the seat next to mine.
“Now that our interruption is out of the way, let's get back to where we were going,” Miyagi says. “I'm Miyagi. I'll be your teacher for homeroom as well as English this year. I also sponsor the Astronomy Club at the school. Standing beside me is Daisuke, who will be our classroom helper this year.”
“Hello, everyone,” he says with a friendly, but thick accented voice. “If you need any help, feel free to ask, but mostly I'm here for the teachers that don't know how to speak braille.” A soft chuckle indicates that was meant as a joke and the rest of the class laughs along with it.
“Thank you, Daisuke,” Miyagi says. As she finishes, she claps her hands together and soon the rest of the class joins in the small applause. “For today, we'll dismiss with the standard role-call in favor of introductions. We do have some new students here. I'd imagine the rest of you may be interested in being able to place a voice with the name of your fellow classmates. Daisuke will be going around the room, when you feel him touch your shoulder, tell us your name and a few things about yourself.”
Daisuke, goes to the first girl and places his hand on her shoulder. She stands up and introduces herself, followed by a moment for the students to applaud her. One after another, the rest of the class introduces itself. I try to pay attention but I know that it'll take me quite some time to remember who is who.
The girl to my left, Satou finally stands. “I'm Lilly Satou,--”
“Yo, Lils!” a boy with a shaved head and thick glasses yells from the back. “Good to hear you again!” Satou blushes slightly but continues.
“I enjoy tea, soft music, and reading. I can write in perfectly legible Japanese and English and have an older sister that visits on occasion. If anyone here has any problems, whether it be in classwork or personal, please feel free to come to me and I'll try my hardest to assist you” she says matter of factly. Satou gets more applause than anyone else has gotten.
“As you know, Satou will serve as your class representative again this year,” Daisuke says.
“That is, unless there are any objections,” Miyagi adds.
There's another round of applause with the shaved haired boy adding, “Give 'em hell, Lils.” Two people later he introduces himself, stating that he's on the track team, which throws me somewhat. Considering he has to use a cane to get around, I have no idea how he could possibly run track.
After him, it's my turn to introduce myself. “Umm... Hello. I'm Hitomi Fuku. I'm new here. I just recently lost an eye and have no depth perception. I hope we can all get along and be friends.” God, that was lame.
There's applause and some mutters between various students then Daisuke moves on to the next student. It goes on like that, with everyone stating their name and a few things about themselves. Some of them mention their vision problems others don't. Sadly the ones I'm really curious about don't say what their problems are. There's no explanation for the girl in the sleeping mask or the boy bundled up in the coat and scarf.
After introductions are done, Miyagi does announcements. She spends a few minutes going over school rules with us and reminding everyone to get their uniforms and medical issues taken care of as well as a few other minor issues. Homeroom soon gives way to our first class. Thankfully, for today all we seem to be doing is going over what is going to be expected this year and what we'll be covering. The other classes seem to follow the same format. The teacher introduces him or herself and goes over what's going to be expected for the year.
While our social studies teacher is going over her lesson plans, Daisuke comes up and whispers something to her. “Lunch is going to be started in two minutes. Go ahead and get going so you can beat the crowd.” she says once he's finished.
“Anyone who needs help, please raise your hands,” Daisuke adds. Several students raise their hands. I take the opportunity to slink out of class.
I've already gotten my lunch and taken a seat near the door when the cafeteria begins to fill. As I eat my cream soup spaghetti and spinach bread, I watch the lines for any familiar faces. I chuckle to myself about how watching crowds seems to have become a new pass-time for me, but it a morbid way it's all rather fascinating. What I don't see, however, is anybody that I know. No Suzu, no Hachisame, no Time Warp, not even Rin or what's-her-name, that girl who helped me in the showers the other day. Maybe I should have waited for the others to get out of class.
While I'm thinking about it, I spot the girl with the crutch that helped me out a few days ago. On second thought, I decide not to try to get her attention. I'd rather not be reminded of how bad I am at taking care of myself.
“Here she is, Lilly,” I hear a voice say. I turn in my seat only to realize I haven't turned enough; she's still on my blindside. I twist around almost completely and see two of the girls from my class. There's the tall foreigner and a girl with short hair and impossibly thick glasses; I don't remember her name. The girl with glasses is carrying trays for both of them.
“We aren't intruding, are we?” Satou asks.
“You can sit down,” I say. Despite not being able to see, I'm amazed at how graceful her movements are. I only have one eye and I'm constantly bumping into things, but she seems to know almost exactly where she's going.
“I thought you might enjoy some company for lunch. I don't imagine you've had time to make friends yet,” she says.
“Actually, I have. A few girls from the dorms were showing me around and we've been hanging out some,” Satou smiles as I tell her this.
“That's a relief to hear. I wasn't sure if you had the chance to find your way around the grounds yet.” Satou feels around the table for where her friend has sat her drink, opens the carton, and takes a drink.
“So, who, are your friends,” the other girl asks.
“Hachisame and Time-- I mean Tana,” as I say this, a look of concern crosses Satou's face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I'm sure they have their good points,” she says, “They just tend to have an outlook that isn't exactly...,” she pauses, but I'm unsure if she genuinely doesn't know what to say or it's more of a rehearsed act.
“They're kinda weird,” the other girl adds.
Satou holds up her hand signaling to the other girl not to go any further. “They have some rather unusual opinions on things, although it's not my place to say who you should and shouldn't befriend.”
I'm curious, but I really don't want to go any further into the topic. “So Satou, how's your friend doing? You said something about her not coming to class today?” I ask.
“Call me Lilly, please,” she says. Right. More of the school's unusual informality. “And she's doing well. It's just the start of a new year tends to take a lot out of her. There's bound to be a lot of new faces and she can be rather shy.”
“But it all works out, because that means we get to have lunch with you today. It's going to be nice having another student around that can see things,” the girl in glasses says.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Don't be afraid,” Lilly says with a giggle. “We're not trying to make you do extra work or anything to that effect. There's just some situations where having a functioning pair of eyes can be advantageous. I promise you I won't ask of you anymore than you're willing to do.”
“I don't exactly have a pair of eyes,” I say. Lilly's face turns a shade of red.
“I'm sorry. Poor choice of words on my part,” she says. “I didn't mean to offend you.”
“No, it's okay. I'm starting to get used to it,” I say that mostly just to get her to stop talking. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, but that's not her fault. Conversation dies down as we all focus on the meals in front of us. For such a large girl, Satou certain does eat light.
...
“-- and remember, Wednesday we're meeting here at eight o'clock to go down to the opening ceremony as a class. I expect everyone to look their best,” Miyagi says. “That concludes announcements and for that matter, class for the day. Have a nice afternoon,” she finishes before slumping down in her chair. The final bell hasn't rang yet, but we're already being dismissed.
“Let's do this by rows, left side of the class room to the right. First row, dismissed,” I watch as the students in the first row get up. Most of them find their canes and begin to tap their way to the door. I'm assuming that this is to avoid everyone tripping over each other or tangling their canes.
When it's finally my rows turn, I walk to the teachers desk.
“Teacher?” I say to get her attention. She looks up from her desk and folds her hands in front of her.
“Ah, Fuku. How may I help you?” she says. While she's physically looking up at me from her seat, I still get the feeling that I'm being looked down on.
“I think there may have been some kind of mistake,” I say softly and nervously. She doesn't say anything, she simply raises her eyebrows, but the expression is enough to tell me to continue. “I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here.”
“You're clearly listed on my roll-call,” she says. “Why do you feel you're not supposed to be here?” I feel a sick twisted feeling in my gut. She's honestly going to make me have to say it.
“I can see,” I say.
“I'm glad to hear that,” she tells me with a soft smile. “Now why is it that you don't think you belong here?”
“Everyone else here is blind,” I say. By now our conversation has caught the attention of several of the other students.
“This is a class intended for those who have severe vision related problems, not strictly a class for the blind, even if they do make up the majority of your fellow classmates,” she says.
All I can mutter in response is a soft “oh,”
“There are six other students beside yourself that have some form of vision, however limited,” she says. I wish I had counted how many students were in the class but I don't want to turn around and check now. “You file says you've been having a hard time adjusting to your lack of depth perception, is this true?”
“Yes, Ma'am,” I say meekly. She must see how she's utterly defeated me as her attitude and posture seem to relax somewhat.
“I understand how hard this is for you, but we had a lengthy conversation between myself, the principal, and your father and we came to the decision that this would be the best place for as you learn to handle your situation better, but I'll make a deal with you. Give the class two weeks and if you feel you'd be better suited elsewhere, I'll take to them about changing your homeroom assignment. I think that sounds more than fair, don't you?”
“It does, Ma'am,” I say.
“Good, then if you don't mind, school's over and I could really use a cigarette,” She gets up and stretches, standing there for a moment before I realize that was my cue to leave.
I gather my things and leave. As I do, I realize we never took time after class to clean. Yet another example of how lax this school is, perhaps? What I'm really curious about though is what my classmates said about Hachisame and Time Warp during lunch.
“Wahahaha! It's the first day of school! Everybody wake up!” a voice in the hall yells. I roll over and look at my alarm clock. It's six in the morning. This is way too early to get up. I decide then and there that I will dedicate the rest of my life to destroying this person … unless I change my mind or forget. Well, at least the rude wake up shocked me out of my normal 'why isn't my eye working?' panic.
I lay back down and pull the pillow over my head, but it's no use. Out in the hall, I can still hear whoever that was yelling. I'm awake now, groggy, but awake. I might as well start getting ready to go to school, even if it is still hours away.
The leftovers from last night are a bit cold now, but they make a good breakfast. The bathrooms are filled with other half asleep people angry at being woken up so early people so most of them don't bother trying to strike up conversation, which is nice. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone anyway.
Back in my room, I get dressed and wrap a bandage around my head to cover my missing eye. Then I just wait to see if any of my new acquaintances show up. Nobody said anything about walking to school together, but I always used to do that with my old friends. Of course, maybe that doesn't matter as much when school is just a few minutes from where you live.
While I'm bored and waiting, I finally take the time to examine my facial expressions in the mirror. Not having an eye doesn't seem to make that much of a difference in how my expressions look, although with the wrapped bandage around my head, it does obscure them a bit. I'm not exactly relived, but it's good to know that I still look more or less the same when I make a face.
Eventually actually doing something wins out over waiting for something I'm not sure about and I leave my room and make my way to the main building. I wish I could feel more excited or even nervous, but I don't. This is just too new … or maybe I'm still half asleep.
As I reach the main building, I look for a decent place to sit. Unfortunately, I don't see any benches so I'm stuck taking a seat at the top of the stairs. As I sit and watch the people slowly drifting into the school, I'm taken back by just how different this place is from any other school I've been to and it's not just because of the students. Granted, there are far too many missing limbs and crutches for this place to ever pass as normal, but it's not the parade of deformities I expected either. That's not what really sets the place apart though. It's how nice everyone is. Almost everyone makes a point of saying hello or at least smiling and nodding their head and several times complete strangers have stopped and asked if I wanted help getting to class. They weren't all teachers either. Most of them were other students, some of them even younger than I am. What I don't see is anyone else wearing an ankle length skirt like I am. Great. So much for not standing out.
Eventually, I spot Hachisame coming up the walkway. With her bleached blonde hair, dark skin, and the wheelchair, she sticks out in the crowd. Judging by the hair colors, I can assume that the people with her are Suzu and Time Warp. I wave, but none of them seem to notice me, so I just sit there and continue to scan the trickle of people approaching the building.
As they get closer to where I'm sitting, I notice that Hachisame's hair is still wet and Time Warp has pinned on of her introduction cards to her blouse. The oddest one though is Suzu. She doesn't even come close to wearing the normal uniform. Unless there's some optional uniform that consists of baggy light blue flannel with moons and bunnies on it, I think it's safe to say she's still wearing her pajamas. She isn't the only student I've seen without the proper uniform, but the others either at least wore somekind of uniform or at least tried to dress nice.
“Good morning,” I say to everyone.
“'Morning,” Suzu mumbles and nods.
“Hey, wha'cha up to?” Hachisame says. For a moment, I hesitate to tell her. What I'm up to is actually pretty stupid, but these are the my new friends now, I guess.
“We were looking for you,” Time Warp says. “We got back from our morning swim and you'd taken off without us.”
“Sorry about that,” I say. “As for what I'm up to... It's just … kind of an old joke with some friends of mine. You know how on cartoons you'll always see somebody come running up at the last minute with a piece of toast in their mouth? Well, the first day of school and after holidays me and my friends would always sit and watch for somebody like that.” It sounds even dumber when I say it out loud.
“Anybody ever show up like that?' Suzu asks.
“No, but we'd always joke about it,” I say. They're taking this much better than I expected them too. “So, umm... what's with the outfit?” I ask Suzu.
“The school doesn't enforcing the dress code for the first few days. I figure as long as I've got the opportunity, I might as well take advantage of it,” she says with a lazy grin. I start to say something, but stop myself. What could I really say to that anyway?
“Mind if we join you?” Time Warp asks. It takes me a moment to realize what she's talking about.
“Have fun with that. I'm heading to class while I've still got the energy to get there. Catch you all later.” Suzu says. We wave our goodbyes and she disappears into the school behind us.
Once she's gone, I scoot over and pat an empty spot on the concrete where I'm sitting. “Have a seat,” I say, indicating to Time Warp a spot where she'll be on my sighted side.
“Thanks, but I've brought my own,” Hachisame says and she smiles and clicks her teeth together. Time Warp sits down next to me, and a moment later rolls her eyes at Hachisame.
“So, we're looking for toast,” Hachisame says as sort of a sigh.
“Something like that. We're watching for anime cliches at the least,” I say.
“Oh, why the hell not?” she laughs.
“Mutou. I'm betting on Mutou,” Time Warp says looking out into the crowd.
“We're betting? Okay. Then Miki,” Hachisame says. I'd like to add something, but I have no idea who Miki is and Mutou... I think he was one of the teacher I met the other day. We sit there and watch the people for a little while. Hachisame and Tana point out some of the more notable people and share half stories that I'm never completely filled in on.
“Hey, there's Rin,” I say as I spot our armless companion. She's walking with a younger girl wearing stripped stockings and her hair in twintails.
“Okay, now I need to get going,” Hachisame says rather abruptly. “Later,” she says as she begins to wheel herself away.
“Good morning, Rin,” I say when she's finally in ear shot.
“It might be,” Rin says. “I'm not sure yet.”
“Good morning, Rin,” Time Warp says cheerfully. “Morning, Ibarazaki,” she adds in a more guarded tone. The younger girl glances around
“Rin, do you know this person?' the younger girl asks, completely ignoring Tana.
“We have met,” she says. The other girl take s a moment as if she's trying to figure out how to react to that. Eventually she just shrugs and smiles. “I'm Emi Ibarazaki of the track team,” she says.
I try to think of something to say I'm 'of' but nothing comes to mind. “I'm Hitomi Fuku. I'm new,” I simply say.
“Well, this is a pretty great school. I hope you like it here!” she says with more enthusiasm in her voice than before although she still glances around as though she's looking for something, “and don't let anyone give you the wrong impression of the place,” she adds. Although there isn't any obvious irritation in her voice, it's a pretty obvious jab at Tana. “I guess either way, I'll see you later.”
“I don't know if I'll see you later because I can't see the future, but it was nice seeing you this time,” Rin says flatly before the two of them walk off.
“Okay, what was that about?” I ask Tana once they've gone past us and into the building.
Tana takes a look over her shoulder just to make sure, but it's obvious to everyone but her that they're already gone. “Hachisame and Ibarazaki don't get along. You'll have to talk to her about that one. I'm not big on her either.” I'm a bit surprised but it makes sense. I suppose even among the disabled, some people are jerks. That's assuming she is disabled. I didn't see anything wrong with her.
“And Rin?” I ask.
“Rin's cool,” she says.
We sit there for another few minutes watching the people until a voice over the loudspeaker tells us that class will start in ten minutes.
“How long did you plan on sitting here?' Tana asks shortly after the loudspeaker cuts off.
“I guess I should probably find out where my classroom is,” I say.
“You're in 3-2. I'm in 3-4. It's the same hall. Follow me,” she says a moment later as she gets to her feet.
I grab and hold the door for her as we walk in, unfortunately, she doesn't seem to notice. “Laddies, first, she says with a smile, reaching out and going through the motions of opening the door for me. Once she finally realizes that I had already opened the door, she just stops and looks at me.
“I'm going to ask you a question. You don't have to answer if you don't want to. Do you ever get used to that?” The phrasing feel strange as I say it. With a normal person, I'd could ask if it was okay to ask the question first, but then I'd have to wait for her to respond, then wait again for her to answer the actual question.
She shrugs and smiles once the words reach her. “Not really. I reach out for something I see. I got to touch it, and it's not there. It's a bit freaky... but what can you do, right?” she smiles with a shrug. “Anyway, to class!” she says and points in an overly dramatic manner.
She walks through the door and I follow, hitting my shoulder on the door as I enter. I make a point of walking though doors as close to the center as possible from here on. Misjudging my distance and bumping into things gets old real quick.
Inside the school, it's remarkably orderly, with students staying to one side of the hall or the other and nobody pushing through the crowd. Faculty members seem stationed at every corner eager to point people in the right direction. Tana leads me up several flights of stairs until we arrive at our destination. As we walk, a bell sounds followed by another loudspeaker announcement saying class begins in five minutes. The school seems somewhat empty, as though there are far more classes than there are students to fill them.
“This is your stop,” Time Warp says gesturing towards a door marked 3-2. “I'm just down the hallway. I'll see you later.” As she walks off, I realize something. I didn't change my shoes when I came inside. I have no idea how I could forget something so basic. I'm about ready to bolt for the front to look for the lockers when I realize that Time Warp didn't change hers either. Nervously I glance around. It seems almost everyone is wearing the same kind of shoes I am, more or less. Does this school not use indoor shoes? It feels weird and wrong. For the first time, I'm glad I'm wearing the ankle length skirt.
As I enter the classroom, I see various students sitting and talking to each other. The strange part is, most of them don't even appear to be looking at one another. They're just starring ahead blankly. I feel like I've entered the classroom of the damned.
“You must be Fuku. Is that correct?” a woman, who I'm taking to be the teacher, asks.
“That's correct, Ma'am,” I say.
“Your seat is the fourth row, second seat back,” she says. I look to where she's directed me. It's more or less the center of the class room. At this point most of the seats have been taken. Only a few still awaiting their occupants. I take my seat next to a girl in dark sunglasses. As I do, another student enters the room tapping at the ground with a cane like she's … Oh.
I quickly turn my head and look around. Many of the students here have canes. The canes, the blank looks … I'm in a class for people that can't see. As I'm wondering why I'm here, a man who looks to be in his middle twenties comes from the back of the class to where the girl with the cane is standing. They exchange a few words and her guides her to her seat. The man looks too old to be a student, but if he's a teacher, he's a young one. He continues to assist students as they come in. It's not long until all the seats are filled except for the one to my immediate left and the one at the far corner of the room.
The bell rings and just to make sure the point comes across, there's another intercom announcement welcoming everyone to Yamaku and saying that classes have begun. Once it's silent, the teacher walks to the center of the classroom and the man from the back takes his place beside her.
“Welcome back to Yamaku,” she says to the class. “I'm Miyagi and this is --” her words are interrupted by the door opening and a tall blonde foreigner walking in. The girl takes one step inside the classroom and stops as though she's waiting for permission to continue. “Trying to be fashionably late, Miss Satou?” the teacher says.
The blonde girl, who I notice is walking with a cane of her own, wears an expression that seems to be a bit of shame and disappointment. “I sincerely apologize.”
“I take it you were having issues with a friend of yours?” the teacher asks.
“I was,” Satou says with a bit of hesitation.
“and the results of those issues?” Miyagi continues.
“She's promised that tomorrow will be her first day of school,” Satou adds with a soft sigh.
“I suppose that's as much as can be expected,” Miyagi says. “Come now and Daisuke will help you to your seat. The man takes the cuff of Satou's blouse in-between his fingers and leads her to the seat next to mine.
“Now that our interruption is out of the way, let's get back to where we were going,” Miyagi says. “I'm Miyagi. I'll be your teacher for homeroom as well as English this year. I also sponsor the Astronomy Club at the school. Standing beside me is Daisuke, who will be our classroom helper this year.”
“Hello, everyone,” he says with a friendly, but thick accented voice. “If you need any help, feel free to ask, but mostly I'm here for the teachers that don't know how to speak braille.” A soft chuckle indicates that was meant as a joke and the rest of the class laughs along with it.
“Thank you, Daisuke,” Miyagi says. As she finishes, she claps her hands together and soon the rest of the class joins in the small applause. “For today, we'll dismiss with the standard role-call in favor of introductions. We do have some new students here. I'd imagine the rest of you may be interested in being able to place a voice with the name of your fellow classmates. Daisuke will be going around the room, when you feel him touch your shoulder, tell us your name and a few things about yourself.”
Daisuke, goes to the first girl and places his hand on her shoulder. She stands up and introduces herself, followed by a moment for the students to applaud her. One after another, the rest of the class introduces itself. I try to pay attention but I know that it'll take me quite some time to remember who is who.
The girl to my left, Satou finally stands. “I'm Lilly Satou,--”
“Yo, Lils!” a boy with a shaved head and thick glasses yells from the back. “Good to hear you again!” Satou blushes slightly but continues.
“I enjoy tea, soft music, and reading. I can write in perfectly legible Japanese and English and have an older sister that visits on occasion. If anyone here has any problems, whether it be in classwork or personal, please feel free to come to me and I'll try my hardest to assist you” she says matter of factly. Satou gets more applause than anyone else has gotten.
“As you know, Satou will serve as your class representative again this year,” Daisuke says.
“That is, unless there are any objections,” Miyagi adds.
There's another round of applause with the shaved haired boy adding, “Give 'em hell, Lils.” Two people later he introduces himself, stating that he's on the track team, which throws me somewhat. Considering he has to use a cane to get around, I have no idea how he could possibly run track.
After him, it's my turn to introduce myself. “Umm... Hello. I'm Hitomi Fuku. I'm new here. I just recently lost an eye and have no depth perception. I hope we can all get along and be friends.” God, that was lame.
There's applause and some mutters between various students then Daisuke moves on to the next student. It goes on like that, with everyone stating their name and a few things about themselves. Some of them mention their vision problems others don't. Sadly the ones I'm really curious about don't say what their problems are. There's no explanation for the girl in the sleeping mask or the boy bundled up in the coat and scarf.
After introductions are done, Miyagi does announcements. She spends a few minutes going over school rules with us and reminding everyone to get their uniforms and medical issues taken care of as well as a few other minor issues. Homeroom soon gives way to our first class. Thankfully, for today all we seem to be doing is going over what is going to be expected this year and what we'll be covering. The other classes seem to follow the same format. The teacher introduces him or herself and goes over what's going to be expected for the year.
While our social studies teacher is going over her lesson plans, Daisuke comes up and whispers something to her. “Lunch is going to be started in two minutes. Go ahead and get going so you can beat the crowd.” she says once he's finished.
“Anyone who needs help, please raise your hands,” Daisuke adds. Several students raise their hands. I take the opportunity to slink out of class.
I've already gotten my lunch and taken a seat near the door when the cafeteria begins to fill. As I eat my cream soup spaghetti and spinach bread, I watch the lines for any familiar faces. I chuckle to myself about how watching crowds seems to have become a new pass-time for me, but it a morbid way it's all rather fascinating. What I don't see, however, is anybody that I know. No Suzu, no Hachisame, no Time Warp, not even Rin or what's-her-name, that girl who helped me in the showers the other day. Maybe I should have waited for the others to get out of class.
While I'm thinking about it, I spot the girl with the crutch that helped me out a few days ago. On second thought, I decide not to try to get her attention. I'd rather not be reminded of how bad I am at taking care of myself.
“Here she is, Lilly,” I hear a voice say. I turn in my seat only to realize I haven't turned enough; she's still on my blindside. I twist around almost completely and see two of the girls from my class. There's the tall foreigner and a girl with short hair and impossibly thick glasses; I don't remember her name. The girl with glasses is carrying trays for both of them.
“We aren't intruding, are we?” Satou asks.
“You can sit down,” I say. Despite not being able to see, I'm amazed at how graceful her movements are. I only have one eye and I'm constantly bumping into things, but she seems to know almost exactly where she's going.
“I thought you might enjoy some company for lunch. I don't imagine you've had time to make friends yet,” she says.
“Actually, I have. A few girls from the dorms were showing me around and we've been hanging out some,” Satou smiles as I tell her this.
“That's a relief to hear. I wasn't sure if you had the chance to find your way around the grounds yet.” Satou feels around the table for where her friend has sat her drink, opens the carton, and takes a drink.
“So, who, are your friends,” the other girl asks.
“Hachisame and Time-- I mean Tana,” as I say this, a look of concern crosses Satou's face. “Is something wrong?”
“No. I'm sure they have their good points,” she says, “They just tend to have an outlook that isn't exactly...,” she pauses, but I'm unsure if she genuinely doesn't know what to say or it's more of a rehearsed act.
“They're kinda weird,” the other girl adds.
Satou holds up her hand signaling to the other girl not to go any further. “They have some rather unusual opinions on things, although it's not my place to say who you should and shouldn't befriend.”
I'm curious, but I really don't want to go any further into the topic. “So Satou, how's your friend doing? You said something about her not coming to class today?” I ask.
“Call me Lilly, please,” she says. Right. More of the school's unusual informality. “And she's doing well. It's just the start of a new year tends to take a lot out of her. There's bound to be a lot of new faces and she can be rather shy.”
“But it all works out, because that means we get to have lunch with you today. It's going to be nice having another student around that can see things,” the girl in glasses says.
“Yeah,” I say.
“Don't be afraid,” Lilly says with a giggle. “We're not trying to make you do extra work or anything to that effect. There's just some situations where having a functioning pair of eyes can be advantageous. I promise you I won't ask of you anymore than you're willing to do.”
“I don't exactly have a pair of eyes,” I say. Lilly's face turns a shade of red.
“I'm sorry. Poor choice of words on my part,” she says. “I didn't mean to offend you.”
“No, it's okay. I'm starting to get used to it,” I say that mostly just to get her to stop talking. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, but that's not her fault. Conversation dies down as we all focus on the meals in front of us. For such a large girl, Satou certain does eat light.
...
“-- and remember, Wednesday we're meeting here at eight o'clock to go down to the opening ceremony as a class. I expect everyone to look their best,” Miyagi says. “That concludes announcements and for that matter, class for the day. Have a nice afternoon,” she finishes before slumping down in her chair. The final bell hasn't rang yet, but we're already being dismissed.
“Let's do this by rows, left side of the class room to the right. First row, dismissed,” I watch as the students in the first row get up. Most of them find their canes and begin to tap their way to the door. I'm assuming that this is to avoid everyone tripping over each other or tangling their canes.
When it's finally my rows turn, I walk to the teachers desk.
“Teacher?” I say to get her attention. She looks up from her desk and folds her hands in front of her.
“Ah, Fuku. How may I help you?” she says. While she's physically looking up at me from her seat, I still get the feeling that I'm being looked down on.
“I think there may have been some kind of mistake,” I say softly and nervously. She doesn't say anything, she simply raises her eyebrows, but the expression is enough to tell me to continue. “I'm not sure I'm supposed to be here.”
“You're clearly listed on my roll-call,” she says. “Why do you feel you're not supposed to be here?” I feel a sick twisted feeling in my gut. She's honestly going to make me have to say it.
“I can see,” I say.
“I'm glad to hear that,” she tells me with a soft smile. “Now why is it that you don't think you belong here?”
“Everyone else here is blind,” I say. By now our conversation has caught the attention of several of the other students.
“This is a class intended for those who have severe vision related problems, not strictly a class for the blind, even if they do make up the majority of your fellow classmates,” she says.
All I can mutter in response is a soft “oh,”
“There are six other students beside yourself that have some form of vision, however limited,” she says. I wish I had counted how many students were in the class but I don't want to turn around and check now. “You file says you've been having a hard time adjusting to your lack of depth perception, is this true?”
“Yes, Ma'am,” I say meekly. She must see how she's utterly defeated me as her attitude and posture seem to relax somewhat.
“I understand how hard this is for you, but we had a lengthy conversation between myself, the principal, and your father and we came to the decision that this would be the best place for as you learn to handle your situation better, but I'll make a deal with you. Give the class two weeks and if you feel you'd be better suited elsewhere, I'll take to them about changing your homeroom assignment. I think that sounds more than fair, don't you?”
“It does, Ma'am,” I say.
“Good, then if you don't mind, school's over and I could really use a cigarette,” She gets up and stretches, standing there for a moment before I realize that was my cue to leave.
I gather my things and leave. As I do, I realize we never took time after class to clean. Yet another example of how lax this school is, perhaps? What I'm really curious about though is what my classmates said about Hachisame and Time Warp during lunch.
Last edited by Oddball on Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:25 am, edited 3 times in total.
Not Dead Yet
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Mirage_GSM
- Posts: 6148
- Joined: Mon Jun 28, 2010 2:24 am
- Location: Germany
Re: Freaks and Friends
Yay, it lives!
As usual a few minor fixes:
As usual a few minor fixes:
"Read to"?I might as well start getting read to for school...
Where does she sit, and when did she sit down?As I sit and watch...
Past tense.As we walked, a bell sounded
Good one!but mostly I'm here for the teachers that don't know how to speak braille.
intentional?the shaved haired boy
"him- or herself"The teacher introduces his or herself
Missing an "I" - just like your OCWhen it's finally my rows turn, walk to the teachers desk.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
My collected KS-Fan Fictions: Mirage's Myths
Sore wa himitsu desu.griffon8 wrote:Kosher, just because sex is your answer to everything doesn't mean that sex is the answer to everything.
Re: Freaks and Friends
One of these days I'm going to write a story without any huge glaring errors.
...
Okay, probably not, but it's a nice thought.
I'll get on the fixes after work.
...
Okay, probably not, but it's a nice thought.
Hey! She's only mostly an original character.Missing an "I" - just like your OC
I'll get on the fixes after work.
Not Dead Yet
Re: Freaks and Friends
Okay I have a maybe slightly unusual problem with this fanfic, that would be I doubt a person with Tana's condition could actually exist or well, "function" enough to have a reasonably enjoyable life.
However that is of course not an actual problem with the story as it's fan-fiction and not based on realism necessarily.
The reason why I mention this is mostly because I was immediately interested in Tana's condition and tried to place myself in her position, imagining how you'd live with such a condition (which according to most comments so far doesn't seem to exist quite in that way). And quite frankly it doesn't seem possible to actually effectively deal with this.
To keep it short, if someone has delayed vision, hearing and even tactile feedback then I'm pretty sure that someone cannot lead a life. Especially if said person is born with the condition or encounters it in early years, I just can't see it. How could you possibly learn to do... anything really? I doubt it's possible to learn walking when you do not actually feel when parts of your foot hit the ground, which muscles you're using and so on and so forth. I mean think about it, the person doesn't have any idea of what he/she is actually doing in the moment if all those stimuli are missing. It doesn't help much to get those signals 1-2 or even more seconds later. There are a billion situations I can think of that are life threatening if you suffer this condition and many more that cause severe damage (like not removing a finger from a hot object immediately or continuing to breath when underwater).
But even if the condition only delays vision and hearing it still sounds almost impossible to cope with to me. Delayed vision for example is in certain aspects worse than blindness because it's deceptive. If you see no car on the road when there actually is one... When you grab for the knife which your father accidentally pushed a few centimeter closer with his elbow and you end up reaching for the blade instead of the handle... Again, there are just so many possibilities that one would dare to think to rather "go blind" and run around with a blindfold and rely on your other senses. Which wouldn't work here because hearing betrays the person as well with its own delay.
edit: Now of course there are people who are blind and deaf and live fine, all things considered. But when you actually can see and hear just that it's delayed... I can imagine that can be insanely hard to deal with in its own way.
Thinking about such a possible condition in detail it becomes a horrible nightmare to me. The idea of practically living a couple seconds in the past, with the exception that what actually happens to your body is still in the present and you just can't help that, that's just so scary man. Never really being there and experiencing everything as it happens, instead knowing that your partner told you "I love you" 3 seconds ago and is maybe already kissing you right now...
I don't know if I could live with that.
I mean it's actually really interesting to think about the implications I have to say. So thanks for that ;P
And while it may bother me personally a bit to think about this stuff every now and then when Tana's part of the scene (can't help it
) I'm by no means trying to say this is bad for the story or reduces the quality because it's unrealistic. The idea is unique and may make it possible to write some really great scenes.
It just made me think a lot and I wanted to speak my mind as you can see
Otherwise I do enjoy the fanfic so far but agree that it needs to pick up pacing, although it feels like it already did to some degree with the last chapter. So far I'm liking Hitomo and co. and you laid down the basic groundwork so far. Now there just needs to be more interesting stuff happening, which needn't be big events, even a small awkward conversation can be great (like the Lilly lunch scene!).
However that is of course not an actual problem with the story as it's fan-fiction and not based on realism necessarily.
The reason why I mention this is mostly because I was immediately interested in Tana's condition and tried to place myself in her position, imagining how you'd live with such a condition (which according to most comments so far doesn't seem to exist quite in that way). And quite frankly it doesn't seem possible to actually effectively deal with this.
From your descriptions so far it appears that these stimuli definitely include vision as well as hearing. After the dinner scene at Tana's uncle's house it would also seem that tactile stimuli are part of it to some degree, considering she tried chewing the meat for a short moment before recognizing it wasn't there."My name is Tana Wakahisa. I go to Yamaku High School. Please don't think I'm ignoring you. I have a slight brain deformity with causes a lapse between receiving stimuli and my brain being able to process or recognize it. It can sometimes take up to several seconds. Please be patient with me. "
To keep it short, if someone has delayed vision, hearing and even tactile feedback then I'm pretty sure that someone cannot lead a life. Especially if said person is born with the condition or encounters it in early years, I just can't see it. How could you possibly learn to do... anything really? I doubt it's possible to learn walking when you do not actually feel when parts of your foot hit the ground, which muscles you're using and so on and so forth. I mean think about it, the person doesn't have any idea of what he/she is actually doing in the moment if all those stimuli are missing. It doesn't help much to get those signals 1-2 or even more seconds later. There are a billion situations I can think of that are life threatening if you suffer this condition and many more that cause severe damage (like not removing a finger from a hot object immediately or continuing to breath when underwater).
But even if the condition only delays vision and hearing it still sounds almost impossible to cope with to me. Delayed vision for example is in certain aspects worse than blindness because it's deceptive. If you see no car on the road when there actually is one... When you grab for the knife which your father accidentally pushed a few centimeter closer with his elbow and you end up reaching for the blade instead of the handle... Again, there are just so many possibilities that one would dare to think to rather "go blind" and run around with a blindfold and rely on your other senses. Which wouldn't work here because hearing betrays the person as well with its own delay.
edit: Now of course there are people who are blind and deaf and live fine, all things considered. But when you actually can see and hear just that it's delayed... I can imagine that can be insanely hard to deal with in its own way.
Thinking about such a possible condition in detail it becomes a horrible nightmare to me. The idea of practically living a couple seconds in the past, with the exception that what actually happens to your body is still in the present and you just can't help that, that's just so scary man. Never really being there and experiencing everything as it happens, instead knowing that your partner told you "I love you" 3 seconds ago and is maybe already kissing you right now...
I don't know if I could live with that.
I mean it's actually really interesting to think about the implications I have to say. So thanks for that ;P
And while it may bother me personally a bit to think about this stuff every now and then when Tana's part of the scene (can't help it
) I'm by no means trying to say this is bad for the story or reduces the quality because it's unrealistic. The idea is unique and may make it possible to write some really great scenes.It just made me think a lot and I wanted to speak my mind as you can see
Otherwise I do enjoy the fanfic so far but agree that it needs to pick up pacing, although it feels like it already did to some degree with the last chapter. So far I'm liking Hitomo and co. and you laid down the basic groundwork so far. Now there just needs to be more interesting stuff happening, which needn't be big events, even a small awkward conversation can be great (like the Lilly lunch scene!).
Re: Freaks and Friends
I can see where you're coming from with that and to an extent I can agree with some of it, but at the same time, it's remarkable what a person can get used to when they don't have a choice.
Not Dead Yet
Re: Freaks and Friends
Short Version: It's a good story.
Long Version:
I'm not going to point out any spelling or grammatical errors, enough other people have mentioned it that I'm sure you know about them. Hitomi is an interesting main character, though I had a bit of difficulty getting a read on her at first. In the first few chapters she seems kind of anti social. Her inner monologue seems to portray her as very, (albeit understandably) bitter, almost bordering on abrasive. Then she seems to have no problem making friends, and hanging out. I don't know, maybe it just took her a little time for her to adjust? That's my read on it anyway. Other than that, she seems pretty well defined, sympathetic, and interesting.
I really like how you use characters from the game, giving them their own personalities, and they fit pretty well. Time Warp is a very interesting concept for a character. Certainly a more unique disability then most. It's hard not to feel sorry for her, even though she herself seems pretty okay with it so far.
The only other thing I can think to mention is the portrayal of Emi. She seems uncharacteristically mean in the scene she appeared in. I guess that could be explained later, but it's a little weird right now.
Other than that, I really like the story. It's cast is strong, and well defined, and the humor and drama both come across very well.
Long Version:
I'm not going to point out any spelling or grammatical errors, enough other people have mentioned it that I'm sure you know about them. Hitomi is an interesting main character, though I had a bit of difficulty getting a read on her at first. In the first few chapters she seems kind of anti social. Her inner monologue seems to portray her as very, (albeit understandably) bitter, almost bordering on abrasive. Then she seems to have no problem making friends, and hanging out. I don't know, maybe it just took her a little time for her to adjust? That's my read on it anyway. Other than that, she seems pretty well defined, sympathetic, and interesting.
I really like how you use characters from the game, giving them their own personalities, and they fit pretty well. Time Warp is a very interesting concept for a character. Certainly a more unique disability then most. It's hard not to feel sorry for her, even though she herself seems pretty okay with it so far.
The only other thing I can think to mention is the portrayal of Emi. She seems uncharacteristically mean in the scene she appeared in. I guess that could be explained later, but it's a little weird right now.
Other than that, I really like the story. It's cast is strong, and well defined, and the humor and drama both come across very well.
Setting the bar lower.
Re: Freaks and Friends
Thanks for the comment. I'm still tickled to see how people respond to Time Warp. As for Emi, Like I said there, she and Hachisame don't get along so it kinda of bleeds through when dealing with Hachisame's friends. You'll find out a bit more why later on.
Not Dead Yet