Developments (Post-Lilly NE) [Complete, 2015-08-11]

[Carighan]

Probably going to end up like Misha Takes A Trip To The Pier, just with Hanako.

[TacticalBacon]

Ohh man i hope the next chapter comes out before i go on an internet free holiday >.<

[Endofone]

"Um...well...I think I was running after something, or someone. I don't remember much about it, though."

I feel an echo through a mirror. :3

I'm waiting for the moment when all three of them are all sitting down in a room. And it's Hisao's POV. Oh boy the tension.

Hmm... I liked the chapter, but if I were writing this story, I'd face a problem pretty soon:
Emi seems to be taking the initiative in getting close to Hisao pretty fast.
I assume you'll keep the suspension as to who Hisao will decide on going for a while longer, though, and I simply can't imagine Hanako operating at the same speed.
Under normal circumstances I'd say that would put Emi at a considerable advantage...

I actually just thought about this and remembered something.
In Hanako's route she admits the reason she slept with him was because she thought he was drifting away because he was looking for someone to have a relationship with. This shows that Hanako is capable of moving very fast if she feels Hisao is drifting away again, so Emi's advantage could potentially potentially set a fire under Hanako. (Pun intended.)

Just my thoughts.

Emi does seem to have the advantage with the ability to take initiative, but as LITF said, Hanako has the capability to burst an action. I feel if Hanako doesn't grow out of her low self esteem or takes a burst action, Emi is going to beat her in the race. Hisao does know Hanako better than Emi, but that can drastically change seeing that Hisao is now running with Emi.

[dewelar]

Ohh man i hope the next chapter comes out before i go on an internet free holiday >.<

Sorry, Chapter 12 might be delayed a bit. For whatever reason, my brain decided it wanted to work on chapter (checks outline)...somewhere in the 20s this weekend , so 12 is sitting at about 2/3 finished. Fingers crossed for having it done within a couple days, though.

As always, thanks to all for the feedback, and I'm definitely enjoying the ongoing discussion as well.

[dewelar]

After taking my shower and getting dressed, I head down to the main building. After spending all of my free time last week in my dorm reading, I was starting to feel like I was back in the hospital. Even yesterday, after my run I just went back to my room and read for a while. I also officially called my parents to tell them I was going to be staying here over break. They were disappointed, sure, but they said they understood my decision. It probably didn't hurt that they wouldn't need to be worried about me being at home by myself.

When Hanako called yesterday, it felt a bit like a lifeline. Even if it was just today, I would have something I can do to break out of this rut. This morning, there was an even more interesting development. My new running partner, who's been talking about keeping a closer eye on me, has decided she wants to stick around and keep me company. That, and walking with my arm around her shoulder for even a little while, was the reason I started out my shower with cold water.

A part of me still feels a little guilty about what I'm feeling. I can't deny that I'm attracted to Emi, and am looking forward to spending more time with her, but my feelings for Lilly aren't going away any time soon. At the same time, something Emi said this morning stuck in my head.

If you don't push yourself, you're never going to move forward.

It's something I've forgotten too often since my heart attack. In the hospital, my life was on hold. Nothing moved for me, and slowly but surely my life slipped away. Then, when Lilly and I were together, it was like I suddenly wanted life to be on hold. I know now that life shouldn't be that way. I need to move forward again. Taking care of myself is the first step -- now for the next.

I arrive at the tea room to find the door slightly ajar, as always. I enter to find Hanako already making the tea, so I set down my purchases from the cafeteria on the table. The sound startles Hanako a little, and she nearly drops one of the teacups.

"Hisao!" She turns, and her features quickly change to a shy smile. "I-it's good to s-see you."

"Hey, Hanako. Thanks for inviting me. I didn't know this place would be open over the break."

"I th-think it's because it's n-not a classroom."

"Oh, yeah, I guess they need to keep the club rooms open for meetings and stuff. They used to do that at my old school, too."

As Hanako brings the tea to the table, I lower myself slowly into a chair, as I'm feeling pretty sore from this morning. She looks at me with concern. "A-are you all right, Hisao?"

I smile a bit. "Yeah, I'll be fine. I was just out running this morning." At Hanako's surprised look, I say "After the incidents I've had the past few weeks, I thought it was time to take care of myself a little better. That's why I decided to finally take Emi up on her offer to do this regularly with her."

Hanako finishes pouring the tea as I unwrap my lunch. "Are you s-sure running is a good idea?"

"Well, the nurse seems to think I can handle it, since he helped Emi with the routine. She also said something about today being one of the worst days, because it's the second day. I'm not sure I understood it entirely, but Emi seemed pretty confident. Anyway, don't worry -- between Emi and the nurse, I probably won't so much as stub my toe without being given the third degree."

Hanako giggles as she sits down with her own lunch, and I take a moment to relax and enjoy being back here again. The tea room itself looks as it always has, but with the building almost empty it feels quieter than ever. One of the things that drew me here was the sense of being away from the pace of the rest of the school, like being in a little pocket of a different place. Today, some of that feeling is missing.

But how much of that is the empty school, and how much of it is Lilly's absence?

After a while, we finish our lunch, and Hanako pulls out the chess board and starts to set it up. I finally decide to break the silence, saying "I just wanted to thank you again for inviting me today. I was afraid that after not talking to you all last week you might be upset with me."

"It's...okay, Hisao. I understand. Y-you needed time to th-think."

"No, it wasn't just that. I'm kind of ashamed to admit it, but I was a little worried about how you'd react to me and Lilly...not seeing each other anymore. I thought, given how close you and Lilly are..."

Surprisingly, Hanako interrupts me. "Hisao...I'm y-your friend, too. I w-would have listened."

I hesitate for a moment, not wanting to look at Hanako. I idly move a pawn on the board. "I realize that now. I...wasn't giving you enough credit, I guess. I'm really sorry about that."

"I-it's okay. Sometimes, I d-don't think I've b-been a very good f-friend to you."

I look up at Hanako, but now she has her eyes cast downward at the board. "Maybe that's because I never really gave you the chance."

She looks up again, bringing her hand absentmindedly up to her fringe. "W-what do you mean?"

"It's just that up until recently, I had been thinking of you more as someone I wanted to protect. When the three of us were in Hokkaido, Lilly and I talked about how it felt like we were a little family of our own. I know that you brought out Lilly's mothering instinct, and it only followed that..."

Hanako's gaze slips from mine again as she moves her knight. "...that I felt m-more like a child to you. I know."

"The thing is, after talking to you the other night I realized that that impression was wrong. I needed someone to talk to, someone who would listen to me and tell me what they thought in return. You gave that to me. I appreciate that more than you can imagine."

Hanako looks at me from under her fringe. "I'm...glad I could do that for you, Hisao. I w-wanted to be able to b-be there for you, like you've been for m-me."

She pauses for a moment, and I can tell she wants to say something else. The two of us trade a few moves before she speaks again. "When Lilly went home...the first time, I thought I would feel alone, but I...didn't, because you were there. I...wanted you to feel the same, this time."

"This time? I'm not sure I understand."

"I t-told Naomi to go on our trip w-without me, at least...for now. I wanted you to know that...I'm here...if you need me. I d-don't want you to be alone."

My mouth falls open, and I freeze in the middle of picking up my rook and look at Hanako. She's looking at me steadily now, not glancing around nervously or even looking through her fringe.

She's serious?

My thoughts race, thinking of all the implications of what Hanako has just told me. While I appreciate the gesture she's making, I wouldn't want to ruin her plans for summer break. She's been planning this trip for a while, and I thought she was looking forward to it.

Admittedly, though, this whole thing with Lilly has been hard on us both. I know if I'd been in Hanako's position, I would want to do the same for her. I can't help but be impressed by her desire to support me. She really has grown just in these past few weeks, and if I decline her offer that might cause different problems.

At the same time, I can't deny that I enjoy spending time with Hanako myself. I've been enjoying my runs with Emi, and I wasn't lying when I said I would be happy to spend time with her. Still, I know so little about her beyond her running and her admittedly wonderful sense of humor. At least I know Hanako and I have common interests, like reading and chess.

"Hisao? D-did I say something wrong?"

Only now do I realize I've been sitting here for some time without saying anything. I notice that Hanako is looking a little nervous, and I start to feel uneasy. "No...no, not at all. You just...caught me by surprise." She visibly relaxes a bit, but she still looks somewhat skittish. I put my rook down, then tip my king over to signify that I've conceded the game. From the look of the board, I wasn't going to win anyway. "Maybe we should start heading down to the convenience store. We can talk while we're walking."

Hanako nods, gathering up the chess pieces. "G-good idea."

After cleaning up from lunch, we make our way out of the main building and toward the front gate. It's quite warm today, but Hanako still wears her cap and jacket. She may have made some progress, but she's still self-conscious about people seeing her scarring.

Once we leave Yamaku's campus, Hanako relaxes a little. Although the walk to the convenience store isn't all that long, I'm still somewhat sore from this morning's run. Fortunately, moving at a leisurely pace lends itself well to conversation, as does the fact that the road is pretty much deserted.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. It's been s-settled for a while. Naomi's leaving tomorrow, and I've already c-cancelled my tickets for Hokkaido."

Hokkaido. I don't remember Hanako telling me where she was intending to go on this trip, but I can understand why she would have chosen to go there. I can also understand why she might not want to go now. The memory of all that we found while we were there, and then lost, is still painful for me, too.

I sigh tiredly. "I just don't know what kind of company I'm going to be. I really don't have any idea what I'm going to do all summer."

"I...don't, either. Last year, I spent m-most of the break reading, or t-talking with Lilly." Hanako looks down as she says this. "We took a few t-trips into the city, too, to go sh-shopping or just w-walking around." She looks over at me again. "W-what did you do, before?"

I hesitate before answering. I still don't really like to talk about my past. I've pretty much avoided it whenever possible. I talked about it a little with Lilly, but she never pushed for more than I felt comfortable with saying. I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable talking about it now. Maybe because I feel like I owe Hanako something for how I've thought of her, and what she's trying to do for me.

"Well, mostly I hung out with my friends in the city. Sometimes we'd go to the arcade, or a movie or something. Pretty much the same thing I did the rest of the year."

"So...w-why didn't you want to go home and s-see your friends?"

That...is a more difficult question. "Well, I lost touch with all of them while I was in the hospital. After a while, they just stopped visiting. I haven't really talked to any of them since then. What about you?"

Hanako looks down at the ground again. She doesn't say anything for a few moments. A car passes, and she moves to press herself against my back. After it goes by, she stays close to me, as if being nearer to me offers some reassurance. "I grew up in an...o-orphanage, a-after the accident. I d-didn't really have any friends there."

I nod in response, looking down at the ground myself. "Lilly told me what little she knew about what happened, about the fire. She said you never really talked about it with her."

Hanako shakes her head. "Not r-really, no."

"I guess there's some things we both didn't want to tell her." Hanako looks at me searchingly, as if waiting to see if I'll follow up on that with anything. Maybe it's the fact that she's not asking me that makes me feel like I want to. "Actually, I did hear from one person from home after I got here."

"One of your f-friends?"

"Sort of. It was a girl named Iwanako. She was the last person to stop visiting me at the hospital. I...had my heart attack after she confessed to me."

"And you t-talked to her after..."

"No, I didn't talk to her. She...wrote me a letter, an actual old-fashioned hand-written one. I got it right before exams. It was mostly small talk, but it was her way of putting a definitive end to whatever it was that we had."

Hanako walks beside me silently for a while as we approach the edge of the town. "You never told Lilly...about this?"

"No. I should have, but I didn't. When we went out on our first official date, she asked me about Iwanako, and if I'd seen her. I told her I hadn't. It was the truth, but...not the whole truth."

Having admitted this, I feel a sense of shame come over me. I kick at a loose rock along the road, sending it clattering off into the grass. I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up to see Hanako staring at me.

"Hisao, if there's...anyone who knows how h-hard it can be to talk about their past, it's m-me. I can't...hold it against you, if you don't h-hold it against me."

I can't argue with that a bit. I look back at her and smile. "I guess not." She smiles slightly herself, and I let out a long breath.

"Hisao?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you again...for trusting me."

I take Hanako's hand from my shoulder and turn to her. The gesture seems to startle her, as she gasps a bit, but her eyes don't leave mine. "That's one of those things friends do, right?"

"Right." We walk the remaining short distance to the convenience store, and her hand doesn't let go of mine until we're inside. I have to admit, there is a certain reassuring feeling to it.

Once we're inside, I pick up two baskets, handing one to Hanako. Even though the store is empty other than us and the cashier, she sticks close to me as we go through the aisles. As I'm reaching for an instant meal, I realize that I can't just grab what I usually would. "Hang on," I mutter, fishing into my pocket and pulling out the folded-up piece of paper.

As I'm looking it over, Hanako watches me with interest. "W-what's that?"

"It's a dietary plan that Emi gave me as part of my exercise routine. I'm only supposed to eat what's on this list."

"Can I...look at it?"

I wouldn't have expected Hanako to be interested, but I nod and pass it over to her. She scans it for a minute or so, then nods to herself. "Thanks. I was just thinking about...making something for lunch for us tomorrow, and wanted to m-make sure it would be okay."

I stifle a groan, remembering Lilly telling me about Hanako's experiments with cooking. That's when I remember that it doesn't matter. "Actually, I can't have lunch with you tomorrow. I already promised Emi I'd have lunch with her."

Hanako goes quiet for a moment, her eyes darting back and forth. "Oh, I th-thought she wasn't s-staying at school."

"She wasn't planning to, but this morning, she said she wanted to spend more time at Yamaku so she could keep an eye on me." I chuckle a bit. "I guess she...kind of had the same idea you did."

After I say that, I notice that Hanako seems to be standing very still, a package of rice in her hand midway between shelf and basket.

"Hanako?"

~~~~

Previous | Next

====

NOTES:

Yes, this serves a purpose beyond just being a (cheap?) cliffhanger. Otherwise...yeah, just enjoy.

[Blasphemy]

Otherwise...yeah, just enjoy.

And I followed that order!

I keep on appreciating how carefully the character think stuff over, Hisao not immediately reacting to Hanako's announcement of canceling her trip with a generic blurt à la "why would you do that!?!" and instead understanding the importance of it as well as being acceptant to her help is nice.

That I was looking forward to this conversation because I'd expect awkwardness, especially with the direction Emi has taken, means I'm obviously excited to read the next chapter. I suppose we'll get a Hanako perspective next, which should be interesting. There must be a billion conflicts going on in her head right now :>

Only problem I have is that I'm looking forward to these chapters so much, that only one at a time doesn't satisfy my needs ;P
So maybe I should take a break for a month from this forum and enjoy a bigger chunk of reading material from this and other fanfics.

[Carighan]

*dramatic cliffhanger sound*

[dewelar]

I keep on appreciating how carefully the character think stuff over, Hisao not immediately reacting to Hanako's announcement of canceling her trip with a generic blurt à la "why would you do that!?!" and instead understanding the importance of it as well as being acceptant to her help is nice.

Thanks. This is something I've really enjoyed writing as well. I've always been very interested in exploring character motivations. It doesn't hurt that I'm working with Hanako and "Lilly-Hisao", for whom considering their actions is very much their stock in trade.

*dramatic cliffhanger sound*

Is that you, Elan?

[Lost In The Fire]

Very enjoyable chapter and definitely one that really sets up Ch 13, which as Blasphemy said is probably a Hanako perspective.
Looks like all the pieces are now on the board, and it will be interesting to see if this pushes Hanako to strike first.

[Guestimate]

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

[Lost In The Fire]

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then I hope it doesn't go that way. One of the things that makes this fic so good is the knowledge that at the end of the day someone's going to get them feels.

I think.

[Steinherz]

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then I hope it doesn't go that way.

I think he's thinking three-way.

[Lost In The Fire]

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then I hope it doesn't go that way.

I think he's thinking three-way.

That is what I thought too.

[Guestimate]

I feel bad for Hisao. Whichever way this goes, someone he cares about is going to be hurt. Well... there is one solution... but I rather doubt it will go that way.

If you're thinking what I think you're thinking then I hope it doesn't go that way. One of the things that makes this fic so good is the knowledge that at the end of the day someone's going to get them feels.

I think.

I kind of agree actually. Not that I'm looking forward to feels, but this story seems more "realistic", and a three-way solution would seem like a cop-out or just fanservice. Unless it was written very, very well.

[Blasphemy]

You know what, as long as it's extremely well written even a threesome or foursome à la FluffandCrunch is welcome. Granted it's extremely unlikely with the characterization we've seen so far and yeh I'm certainly not asking for it.

But what I enjoy about this fanfic, as I've written before, is the way it naturally develops so far. So I'm personally not necessarily interested because I know either Hanako or Emi will be most likely be hurting in the end, rather I'm curious about every conversation between characters and steps in the plot development.

(getting a little off-topic now I guess)
I've grown really tired of stories which have a predictable end, goal or big conflict they're building up to. That kind of specific predictability removes just so, so many possible paths a story could take that it removes much of the excitement for me.

Whenever a story contains prophecies I'd like to tear my hair out. A prophecy basically tells you "yo, so this will be one of, if not the most important points of the story, whether it'll come true or not, you know it'll deal with this!" Doesn't help that prophecies pretty much always fall under the "100% magic" category. Even in Harry Potter I don't need a god darn prophecy telling me about Harry, Neville and Voldemort. And much less so in fucking Starcraft 2, I mean: "Geez, thank you Kerrigan. Apparently there a prophecy about the Xel Naga coming back and everything will burn? Splendid, after only 1/3rd into the first game I already know what the final conflict will be about, roughly at least. And if the goal is to defeat some Xel Naga threat or s.th. the road to said goal is most likely accumulating Terrain, Zerg and Protoss armies, right?"

In a similar vain I can't stand prophetic dreams. "Whoops, that was a weird dream, I wonder what that was all about huh!"