First, Do No Harm will be a deadfic, read for info

[carrion_crow]

I doubt that a lot of people had read this, let alone take it seriously. My friend and I had worked on it together as a English project loosely based on how he grew up with minor changes to fit the Katawa Shoujo world. I am no longer continuing this fic because he felt it was becoming too personal to relive/tell his story anymore. No fault of his own, just an experience he feels is too soon to share. Out of respect for him this is now a deadfic and will be taken down shortly, sorry to anyone who actually read this and had hoped for a little more

probably talking to myself here

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The song begins to play in the darkness. There is nothing but what seems to be a blue spotlight fixed on us, and figures faintly swaying in rhythm around us as the notes continue to fill the air grimly, drawing a slight shiver up my spine. I shift my attention from my surroundings to myself and the woman standing in front of me.

She curtsies low but her cold golden eyes remain fixed on mine, her gaze makes me uneasy. The mere sight of her is mesmerizing, her hair is longer than it was before, draping slightly over her shoulders that are covered by a stunning Western style black dress with light red accents.

The only makeup she wears is a dark shade of purple to amplify the dazzling effect of her glare. As beautiful as she is now, I'm fully aware to not be distracted. That's what she wants; she almost craves it.

I regain my composure so I may return her curtsy with a deep bow of my own. My gray dress shirt is untucked and shows signs of tear and dust of the gravel from before. We both step forward and my hands meet hers. Safe definitely isn't the right word, but it's the first one that comes mind. She grins to show a sharp canine tooth before letting out a light giggle,

"No need to be so formal Kaito. I believe we have known each other long enough to permit more physical contact. Besides, we are both well aware of our close relationship."

My eyes drop to our feet that remain firmly planted on the ground.

She places my hands on her hips and slowly lifts my chin so my eyes meet hers once again. She pauses for a moment, a moment that seems to drag on into what feels like an eternity. The ominous music in the air, the darkness and light blue spotlight still remain, all attribute to the coldness that almost seems to be crawling its way up my spine.

"How did it come to this?" I ask. "Was I always bound to be here?"

I'm only 33, but I assumed I was old enough to retain some wisdom I had attained through my younger years. The wisdom pressed onto me by my close friend and colleague, Akio or my father from so long ago.

She slowly brings her lips to my ear and whispers,

"No. You weren't."

A single tear rolls down my cheek as she continues,

"A caring and selfless individual who has poured his very heart into a school for the disabled. Whether you were aware of it or not, you have always sought me out for a dance. Isn't it hopelessly ironic, nurse?"

"Don't. Just don't call me that. You have no right. I didn't-", my voice begins to falter.

The words are practically falling from my mouth with no confidence to follow it, but I go on,

"I didn't choose this."

"Oh, but you did, Kaito, you did. This is what you wanted, and so you chose the path less traveled. For a moment I believed we would never have our song together, especially since you cheated me in what had rightfully been mine." That same sly grin remains on her face.

I want to be angry. I want to be furious. I want to wipe off that smile with my fist.

But I can't. I feel nothing.

I feel empty.

The music picks up and so do our feet. I know this song, even though we're only a few seconds in. The dance has only begun. The blue light and dark background is dissolving into a dim white light. The music begins to fade.

[Mirage_GSM]

Not much to comment on storywise yet...

As for the rest, the only thing that stuck out was that you sometimes put spoken text into a paragraph of its own. This is not neccessary if the speaker and the person acting in the corresponding sentence are the same.
It definitely should NOT be done if you seperate one sentence into two paragraphs that way, like here:

She slowly brings her lips to my ear and whispers,

"No. You weren't."

You don't always do this. Here's an example of how it should be:

"How did it come to this?" I ask. "Was I always bound to be here?"

[carrion_crow]

Not much to comment on storywise yet...


It definitely should NOT be done if you seperate one sentence into two paragraphs that way

Thanks, I will make sure to correct that on future chapters. I appreciate the feedback

[carrion_crow]

Feedback and constructive criticism is highly encouraged.

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Pt. 2

New sounds arise and take the place of others.
*clank*
"Get up!" says an unknown voice. "I said get up!"

I slowly open my eyes to reveal tarnished metal bars in front of me and my temporary bed. A short chubby woman dressed in a light blue uniform stands on the opposite side of my cage. Oddly, she reminds me of Officer Jenny from the Pokemon series. If the character were to let herself go that is.

"Your parents are here to pick you up, Mr. Sasaki... again."

I glance at her with a cocky grin, "Oh come on, call me Kaito! Don't pretend like you don't remember me, Officer Jenny!"

A confused look flashes across her face.
"Just get out of the cell kid, it won't be long until you're there permanently."

Well, so much for humor.

I slowly rise from the filthy mattress that I spent the night on and futilely try to pat the dust off of my clothes. Sometimes, I don't even know why I bother. This black school uniform just seems to radiate underprivileged-ness.

"Officer Jenny" grabs me by the elbow and shoves me rather roughly out of the cell. As I'm being guided down the hallway ever so gently, I can see my father's large figure through a wired window that leads to the lobby.

It almost seems to take her an eternity to find the correct key to the lobby. Well, at least it does offer me some time to gather my thoughts and come up with a valid excuse as to why I spent the night in jail; maybe I should have done this earlier...

Yeah, probably.

I'm completely lost in thought, but I'm snapped back to reality when I hear the noise of the key turning in the lock.

Shit.

The door opens, and to my surprise, my father immediately pounces on me and engulfs me in rather large bearhug. After a few moments pass, he backs away a few inches and inspects me from head to toe.

"Are you okay, Kaito?" he asks worriedly.

"Just a few bruises on my shoulder but I-"

My sentence is cut off as a huge fist is slammed into the center of my abdomen. I instinctively clutch the area and drop to one knee, as I try my best to recover, trying not to show weakness.

Unfortunately, it is quite a difficult task when the man who just sneak attacked you weighs in at 255 lbs, 6'6" and is a retired bodyguard.

"Good." He replies, both relieved and furious, "Get to the car, your mother is waiting for you, and believe me, she is in no mood for any of your smartass remarks from you, Kaito."

"She's not my mother. She's Taka, she hasn't done anything to prove otherwise."

"Not today Kaito; If you think you're going to get in more trouble, then you've got another thing coming. Take these papers to the car and I'll meet you there after i'm finished here."

I grab what seems to be my release papers and quickly fold them in the back pocket of my uniform. As I walk outside the building, I continue to clutch my stomach, in an attempt to quell the throbbing sensation. As cruel as my father punching me seems, I know he does it as his duty as a father.

However fucked up that duty may be, of course.

Honestly, I'm more upset at his mention of Taka than I am at his physical punishment. I never considered Taka my mother, to me, she is more of a biological donor. She never showed me any signs of care or affection, she constantly hits on other men, and practically ignores me.

The family car comes into view as I walk along the sidewalk, but to my surprise and relief, Taka isn't inside. Instead, she is off to the side speaking to a young man at the bus stop.

Holy shit, it's the perfect chance to piss Taka off. Without even fully formulating a plan, I sprint to her and reach for the papers from my pocket.

"Apologies Mrs. Sasaki!", I say as I humbly bow. "The Doctor has requested I notify you immediately! The exam that was performed earlier this week revealed that the odd odor you were concerned about has been confirmed to be of... negative sources."

Taka screams at the top of her lungs, "WHAT? YOU LITTLE SHIT! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

I grin widely and respond respectfully, "Mrs. Sasaki-san, I assure you that this is not a fabrication of the truth!"

She stares at me in disbelief. "Its all here Mrs. Sasaki!"

I present the county jail's release papers my father had handed me earlier, but I sneakily cover the majority of it with the blank side of one sheet and conceal my first name with my thumb to only reveal the surname Sasaki.

I look at Taka's courier, and I can see his face radiating signs of distress and confusion. When questionable diseases are brought into a flirtatious conversation, no one is going to ask questions or even doubt the validity of the courier as strange as it may seem that he is wearing a school uniform.

Even though he's obviously uncomfortable, it's not as a horrific reaction as I had hoped for.

Time for Plan B.

"The Doctor said, and I quote Mrs. Sasaki-san, 'Please stop by at my office at your earliest convenience and if you must-' cue dramatic pause and a subtle wink, 'play between then and now... please, play safely Mrs. Sasaki-san."

The man is starting to take a few steps back and his distressed look now becomes one of horror.

He quickly blurts, "Hey, Sasaki it was nice meeting you but I had just realized my destination is just a few blocks from here and the bus is probably delayed..."

He gives a short quick bow and leaves quickly trying to downplay how weird the situation is for him.

"God damn it Kaito! Why can't you just leave me alone?!" She shouts at me.

"Because you're married to my father! You're my mom! Do I have remind you constantly? I have no idea what my father sees in you, but I'm blind to it!" And with that last bit of anger erupting from me, she swipes her hand across my face.

"Thats enough Kaito! If it were up to me, your sorry ass would be in an orphanage by now! Now get in the car you little piece of-"

"Taka!"

She stops and looks to see my father walk toward us as he shouts, "That's enough, both of you, in the car! Now!"

"But!" We both stammer.

"This is not up for debate, Taka. I will not repeat myself, you as well Kaito!"

Taka and I both know that there is no such thing as a fair argument with my father. I walk to the car quickly and get inside, as father gets in. Taka pouts quietly to herself.

"No words. None at all. Either of you." He says as he starts the car.

We drive through Tokyo wordless, just as my father demanded.

~~~

As we pull next to the sidewalk, father turns to me. "Wait at the bench Kaito. Taka, I'll meet you inside."

My father follows Taka inside and I take a seat on a small wooden bench we have a few feet away from the doorway to our home.

We live in a relatively small apartment in Tokyo. It's nowhere near as eloquent and beautiful as my uncle's or grandfather's homes, but it's something. My father is proud of it, so I am as well. Of course, Taka thinks it's a little shit shack.

No one really knows for sure, but I the only reason Taka married my father is because she had thought him to be well off; which isn't an entire lie. My grandfather has quite a bit of money, but father refuses to accept any type of aid from him. He never told me why, but he just doesn't.

I always assumed he chooses to stay with her because divorce isn't exactly smiled at in Japan, so Taka's here to stay, abusing my father's kindness and generosity.

She even goes as far as flirting with my uncle!

A few minutes pass as I take in the full view before me. It's starting to get late, as shown by the lights of Tokyo coming to life. I can hear small shouts coming from inside the apartment. I can only imagine what will be said between my father and I in the conversation to come.

[carrion_crow]

Once again, thank you to those who have been editing the story so far for me and putting up with all my crap! It has been very helpful and well appreciated!
Comments, advice, opinions and PMs are also highly encouraged...........Just don't stomp on my work....I WILL FIND YOU



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PART 3


The lights flickering in the distance almost look like fireflies dancing in the sky. Tokyo looks beautiful at this time of night.

It may seem ridiculous, but I have never actually seen a star before. I guess that's a big downside of being a city kid. My father once told me, "Kaito, always remember, shoot for the moon. If you miss, you'll land on a star."

I know it seems very cliché, but it was different hearing it from him than hearing it from a cheesy film.

Now that I remember that, how am I supposed to find comfort in the stars if I have never actually seen one? Dammit, Logic! You win again. What does that make the score for this week? 6 points logic and 0 for me, right? Yeah, sounds about right.

A familiar voice shouts in the distance, "Kaito!"

I carefully squint my eyes to see a relatively small boy in an exact copy of my school uniform running through a crowd in the distance and making his way towards me.

"Hey!”

I don't get off the bench, but I give him a casual fist bump. "What's up, Yori?"

"Kaito!" he exclaims, "I was worried after what happened last night, man! I thought they were going to lock you up for sure this time!" He says all this while struggling to catch his breath,

"Nah, my dad got me out. I actually just got back."

"Oh. Where is he right now?"

I gesture towards the apartment behind me, as I hear something break inside.

"Oh." Yori gives me a small look of pity, "I'm sorry, man. Want to come over?" he hopefully asks.

"I can't. Dad is going to give me a talk."

"About last night, huh?" Oh the innuendo.

"No, Yori. He's going to talk about my bowel movements and how irregular they are." I sarcastically glare at him, "Of course about last night!” Bowel movements? I really need to consider these sarcastic responses before they leave my mouth. They have had the tendency of coming out a lot more aggressive than I intend.

"I'm sorry. It's just that your dad is a scary dude. He's huge and all tattooed up. Any 'talk' with him seems like a life or death situation."

I bitterly frown at him, "He has rarely ever hit me. It's usually whenever I've done something really stupid."

Yori raises an eyebrow, "Like last night?"

...Well.

"Shut up."

We both begin to stare into the sky of Tokyo. I still hope to see a star; a firefly in space, my safety net.

"So what's it like?" Yori nudges me.

"What's what like?"

"Don't play dumb, Kaito!" He looks behind the now quiet apartment as if checking to see if anyone is listening. "What's driving that fast like? You know, without the swerving on the road part."

I chuckle softly. That’s the million dollar question then, huh? I look back into the sky, still searching for my safety net. If only I could see it, then maybe, maybe I could find what I'm looking for. But, I honestly don't know what that is.

"It's like all your problems go away. It's just you and the car." I pause. "It's you playing with Death, taunting and ribbing him, secretly hoping you're faster than he is as he's chasing you. It's you pushing against the limits of your own being."

I relax into the bench I'm sitting on, a side effect of re-experiencing the adrenaline. My body goes limp and motionless as I continue,

"Last night when I swerved off the road, I thought to myself, 'If I were to die right now, would it be because this is how I was destined to die? Or because I molded my fate that way?' It’s complete ecstasy."

I smile at Kaito and once again glance at the night sky.

Where are those stars hiding? I swear, sometimes it feels like I’m the only one looking for them and they’re hiding from the city just to spite me. If only I were that important.

"You're always with the wise stuff! You really need to start getting out more with people your own age! I think your dad is scary and all, but he's just making you into a little girl." he jokes,

And almost as if it were a script, my father comes out and begins to smack a pack of cigarettes against his palm. Cowboy killers, he calls them. "Yori? I trust you had nothing to do with Kaito's little... mishap?"

"It wasn't on purpose, Dad!" I object rapidly.

He gives me a stern look as he takes a cigarette out of its decorated box and places it back into his jacket. "There are no such things as accidents Kaito."

Luckily, my good friend interjects before the tension can go any higher. "Of course I had nothing to do with that, Mr. Sasaki!"

Yori, you damn traitor.

"I try to keep my best friend interested in girls, food and... And. And girls!"

I'm seriously considering lacing your next meal with poison, Yori.

"But all he wants to do is look at cars or piss someone off!"

Careful, Yori! This is a serious criminal offense I'm considering here!

"He even drags me along every time he gets his hands on a car!"

My father explodes as he hears this.

"THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE STOLEN A CAR?!"

Yup, the decision has been made. The only choice I have to make now is between cyanide and arsenic.

"Yori, you have 10 seconds to leave.” my father announces.

My father lights the cigarette in his mouth and clenches his eyes shut as Yori runs off just as fast as he had arrived.

Father inhales deeply, preserving the flavor and burning sensation in his chest as if that will relieve the stress I’m causing him.

"Sit back down. There are some... things... that need to be discussed." He pauses and takes another whiff of his cigarette.

I realize that I'm standing and squeezing my fists in Yori's direction. I sit back down and try to get comfortable but I can't seem to bring myself to the same relaxation that I had when I was speaking earlier.

My father then sits next to me and brings me into his chest. What is he planning?

The heavy weight of his arm feels like a piece of warm lumber on my shoulders. My heart is beating so fast it just might explode.

"I love you, Son." He gets up off the bench and walks away a few paces as he realizes how close I am to him while he smokes.

"I know—”

“I don’t think you do!” He immediately interjects before I can speak any further.

He holds his tongue from going any further and takes another long drag. The smoke circles his figure as he exhales and tries to calm himself to speak to me without any harsh words.

“You don't know how much I have sacrificed for you; you're 15 and becoming a man in my eyes. There is so much I want to tell you, so many things you need to know. Every time I bring myself closer to letting you know." He closes his eyes as if he's swallowed something disgusting. "You... You just..."

He stops again and takes another long drag from the cowboy killer. His sadness is infectious. I want to comfort him somehow; he's my father, after all. I feel like I should, but I want to hear what else he is going to say.

"Things weren't always like this, Kaito. They weren't. Things are like this because of you."

My heart sinks. It feels as if gravity is working a lot harder to hurt me than it did a few seconds ago. Almost as if the blood in my body is slowly flowing towards my toes and pooling onto the concrete below me. At least that's what I hope is happening. I hope I'm dying. I love my father too much to put him in this much pain.

"It isn't a bad thing."

He continues while pulling out another cigarette. "I changed things because of you, and the future I wanted you to have." He wraps his lips around the stick of tobacco. Simultaneously lighting and inhaling. I wouldn't be surprised if that cigarette was finished with that one long drag.

"But this car stealing and dangerous spin outs, you’re lucky you didn't die!"

He catches himself from raising his voice, once again clenching his eyes.

"It needs to stop. You need to change. I try so hard to build you a life with nothing but opportunity and all you’re doing is wasting it away!" He exclaims.

He turns around and goes back into the apartment. As I hear the door shut behind him, I stand up.

As I'm holding back tears, I think to myself; I have to stay strong.

Who the hell am I kidding, I can't.

I run around the corner of the apartment and drop against the nearest wall my back seems to find. I cry as if my tears will completely absolve me of my guilt.

This isn't the cry of a man who just survived a dangerous high speed vehicle spin out. This is the cry of a small boy. These are the tears of a child falling into his mother's shirt. I can faintly hear my father's words but their distorted and covered by a loud ringing in my ears.

"You need to change.

He's right, I do need to change. But not right now. I need one more chance to feel alive again and feel that sudden burst of ecstasy to numb this pain.

[Mirage_GSM]

I can faintly hear my father's words but their distorted and covered by a loud ringing in my ears.

they're

But most of all, I need to find a car to numb this pain of guilt

You know, Mental diseases like Alzheimer won't get him accepted into Yamaku

[carrion_crow]

You know, Mental diseases like Alzheimer won't get him accepted into Yamaku

I don't think I did a very good job trying to exemplify his addiction here

Last night when I swerved off the road, I thought to myself, 'If I were to die right now, would it be because this is how I was destined to die? Or because I molded my fate that way?' It’s complete ecstasy

[Mirage_GSM]

1. Having him realize that he has to change in one sentence and do the exact opposite in the next is a bit over the top, even for addicts.
2. I tried to google "adrenaline addiction" but that doesn't even seem to be a thing. The only hits are various self-help sites.
3. Even if it were a recognized medical condition I'm not sure an addiction would get him accepted in Yamaku since it is a mental problem.

So unless he has an accident on his next trip and becomes confined to a wheelchair, I don't see your OC going to Yamaku anytime soon - it's much more likely going to be juvenile prison.

[carrion_crow]

Even if it were a recognized medical condition I'm not sure an addiction would get him accepted in Yamaku since it is a mental problem.

Who said anything about going to Yamaku for adrenaline addiction? lol

[carrion_crow]

I doubt that a lot of people had read this, let alone take it seriously. My friend and I had worked on it together as a English project loosely based on how he grew up with minor changes to fit the Katawa Shoujo world. I am no longer continuing this fic because he felt it was becoming to personal to relive/tell his story anymore. No fault of his own, just an experience he feels is too soon to share. Out of respect for him this is now a deadfic and will be taken down shortly, sorry to anyone who actually read this and had hoped for a little more

probably talking to myself here

[inthewind]

Best wishes to you folks, regardless. Things that close to home can be rough.