A Saki-Pseudo Route Continuation (Updated 4/3)

[StudyOfWumbology]

E-epilogue? What. I don't know how to respond to that ending other than good job. I really enjoyed reading it and wish to see more of your writing in the future.

[Mirage_GSM]

Wow, that was a fast resolution...
Not that I mind - it's better than drawing it out endlessly - but still it felt more like a Miki route than a Saki one...

[themocaw]

It's not how I would have ended the story, but I like where you went with this one.

[SemisoftCheese]

E-epilogue? What. I don't know how to respond to that ending other than good job. I really enjoyed reading it and wish to see more of your writing in the future.

Thanks! I think I'm going to be starting a Ritsu route soon, so I'm going to bump around a few ideas for a week or two before getting started.

Wow, that was a fast resolution...
Not that I mind - it's better than drawing it out endlessly - but still it felt more like a Miki route than a Saki one...

I think if I was able to re-do this route, I would probably relax the character of Miki a bit. She was a very convenient crutch because she was so "bro," and as a result, I relied on her a lot. Unfortunately, that's something I realized after I wrote and posted all the Miki chapters.

It's not how I would have ended the story, but I like where you went with this one.

I'm glad you liked it. I was always a huge fan of the original route, so it was really enjoyable to write this continuation.

[NighthawK]

Its kinda late but I really want to say that I liked the portal reference, I wonder why nobody brought it up? haha
At least the cake wasn't a lie.

BTW nice story dude, I really liked your writing style, although it needed more Saki and I'm looking forward to the ritsu route.

[PotatoGuy]

Eh, I felt like I just went through two-thirds of the story and then it just ended there.
A good fanfic's a good fanfic, so I can't complain.

[Hisao&Hanako<3]

And over a month later, I come by. Amazing story, amazing continuation. It was very touching.

Now I'm curious to read the Rika route. I suppose I'll continue with that, tomorrow. But yeah, this was great. It humbles me because I don't possess much if any writing skill myself. So I really admire those that can write and put good plots together without making it a big cluster bomb.

[Oddball]

First off subtlety is not your strong point. It's not always a bad thing. When over the top is called for, you do it really well. The scenes where Saki is laying into somebody are perfect, and Miki's character is very entertaining. It's just that when things are supposed to be “normal” it falters. I was somewhat surprised that Miki blew up at Saki over her treatment towards Misha and then later told Hisao that she didn't think it was a big deal.

Saki's backstory was tragic to the point where it was almost unbelievable. Almost. It could have worked if you hadn't immediately followed it with Mutou's brother giving us his tragic back story. That was a bit much. By the time I got to Misha telling Hisao about the other fight that Saki got into with thugs, I was rolling my eyes.

Nurse and Emi came across as almost parodies of their normal selves.

The chapter where Hisao is recovering in the Nurse's office feels like it came out of nowhere. There's no build up, and no previous signs of the horrible symptoms he's supposedly been suffering. (Frankly, if he was that bad, the Nurse should have put him back on his old prescription.)

From there, the story just kind of concludes. It feels rushed. I did like the ending, but it came far too fast, and I think the actual last chapter worked as a better stopping point than the Epilogue did.

I agree that this felt more like a Miki route than a Saki one. Not just because of the number of scenes, but it felt like Hisao and Miki were actually a lot closer and more honest with each other. Saki, even at her best, never really felt like she connected with Hisao in the same way.

Other things I noticed. ...

Hisao certainly does say Fuck a lot in his inner monologues. It doesn't suit the character at all.

You also had Miki call Hisao “gaylord” out of nowhere which is a personal pet peeve of mine.