Exceeder (Miki X Emi) {Updated 4/1}

[Plague]

Is it just me or is the story AND writing getting better every chapter?

[LorSquirrel]

*fist pump* that was awesome!


although i didn't like the choice boxes. their very disruptive to the story.

[Steinherz]

*fist pump* that was awesome!


although i didn't like the choice boxes. their very disruptive to the story.

Don't think of them as choice boxes then.
Ever see Terminator? Remember when the Terminator is selecting a response to the guy knocking on the door (hint The Terminator chose: "Fuck you asshole"). Think of them as thoughts/responses

[OtakuNinja]

No matter how you look at it, the choice boxes are annoying. Otherwise it's a good story.

[YZQ]

We have liftoff, indeed. If the two are blushing this much in the park, I wonder what happens in bed .

[Steinherz]

We have liftoff, indeed. If the two are blushing this much in the park, I wonder what happens in bed shower .

FTFY

And what happens then? Only time will tell

[YZQ]

Ah yes, one step at a time. Having said that, girls are wet in showers .

[Umber]

Having said that, girls are wet in showers .

My mind makes this sentence much naughtier than it was meant to be.

And, aw. I was hoping the choice boxes would work better than they normally do. It was worth a shot.

To chapter five!

[OtakuNinja]

And, aw. I was hoping the choice boxes would work better than they normally do. It was worth a shot.

Choice boxes are only a good idea if the choices lead to different chapters, e.g. as seen in Shower Scenes.

[Tang]

Impressive at the very least to see that I've indirectly inspired this...
Anyhow, I want you to print this out and frame it on your wall to keep you motivated until you're done with your little project.

Version 3- Should be error-free now.

Emi Library.jpg (105.53 KiB) Viewed 5283 times

[Mirage_GSM]

And, aw. I was hoping the choice boxes would work better than they normally do. It was worth a shot.

Choice boxes are only a good idea if the choices lead to different chapters, e.g. as seen in Shower Scenes.

Seconded. I don't like choices in Fanfics in general, but they are more than useless if you don't actually plan to split your story.
And in this case, you invalidate two of the choices directly afterwards, so it looks like something you forgot to cut from an early draft.

[KeiichiO]

Shit.

Nice, LOOOOOOONG chapter. Seriously, it was incredibly long compared to the others. I had to stop reading and let my eyes rest (Personal problem, not yours).

Amazing. This is the best chapter so far in my opinion. There's a lot I want to say on how brilliantly written this is, but, ya' know, I suck at expression. Whatever. I love the metaphors, I love Miki's thought process, I love, well, everything about this fic thus far.

Really, Stein and Umber, you're making me one happy stump fetishist :')

[OtakuNinja]

Impressive at the very least to see that I've indirectly inspired this...
Anyhow, I want you to print this out and frame it on your wall to keep you motivated until you're done with your little project.

Yay, that's my name suggestion!

[ArcCain]

Most impressive, but what dose FTFY stand for?

Furry Tentacle Fetish Yaoi?

Impressive at the very least to see that I've indirectly inspired this...
Anyhow, I want you to print this out and frame it on your wall to keep you motivated until you're done with your little project.

Emi Library.jpg

Are you moding the game?

[Panthour]

Most impressive, but what dose FTFY stand for?

Furry Tentacle Fetish Yaoi?

Although that sounds absolutely wonderful, I believe it actually stands for "Fixed That For You"

On another note, great chapter!