Iwanako: Mean Time to Breakdown {updated 2015-4-1}

[Helbereth]

This many days after the update was posted, I'm surprised to find Mirage is still the only reply.

Though, now I suppose I should count my own...

Regardless, when I read the beginning of this back in... June? July...? Something like that. Anyway, this is one of the more thoughtful re-imaginings of the KS story I've seen, and I'm glad to see it hasn't been abandoned. It's difficult to tell where the story is going after reading what's available, but I can tell you have something planned rather than merely writing an interesting story without a goal.

I'm hoping the lack of responses doesn't indicate that you shouldn't continue, because I'd very much like to see the path Iwanako's tale of woe will follow.

Cheers!

[AR700SAW]

This many days after the update was posted, I'm surprised to find Mirage is still the only reply.

Though, now I suppose I should count my own...

Regardless, when I read the beginning of this back in... June? July...? Something like that. Anyway, this is one of the more thoughtful re-imaginings of the KS story I've seen, and I'm glad to see it hasn't been abandoned. It's difficult to tell where the story is going after reading what's available, but I can tell you have something planned rather than merely writing an interesting story without a goal.

I'm hoping the lack of responses doesn't indicate that you shouldn't continue, because I'd very much like to see the path Iwanako's tale of woe will follow.

Cheers!

Same here, I'm hoping most people that read this are just a little bit shy and aren't posting, because I think this is a really nicely done story so far (congratulations to the author ). I'd love to see it continued though

[LorSquirrel]

loving this route so far i always wanted to see this game from Iwanako's point of view

[griffon8]

Of all the stories on this forum left to be never completed, this is the one I most wanted to continue.

Thank you very much. I re-read the whole thing to remind myself of the story.

BTW, don't feel obligated to include choices and bad ends like you said earlier.

[Leaty]

(deadfic)

[Silentcook]

That being said, I'm pretty sure that even superstar fanfiction authors tend to agonize over getting reviews and comments for their work, because, fuck, at the end of the day we're all warm-blooded human beings and we're seeking some sort of spiritual fulfillment since we generally aren't getting any pecuniary fulfillment.

4LS, 2007-2012

fanfiction.net

I'd liken going there to playing Russian roulette. Using a submachinegun.

Love the icon. Hope you don't mind, because I'm borrowing it for future use at appropriate shamelessly stealing it.

You hit on lots of points I made before and elsewhere on these forums, about how writing halfway interesting fanfic material without going wildly off-genre and/or off-setting is way harder, but ultimately more rewarding. Double points if not going off-timeline either.

I'm sure you don't need to be told this, but you're hardly alone in agonizing over dem wurds and dat plot, here or out there.

Keep up the good work.

[griffon8]

That being said, I suspect that if there's an underlying reason for a lack of attention to this story, it's that the concept is esoteric. While divergence, continuation and (in some cases) Peggy Sue fics are the only fics I like reading, and frankly, the only fics I feel that are worth writing, I don't think they're at all the most popular archetypes among readers or writers. The more popular archetypes seem to be slash, hurt/comfort, fluff, and Mary Sue stories, which I used to abhor but have since concluded are merely the fanfiction equivalent of Justin Bieber, something without a lot of substance that nevertheless appeals to teenagers.

Just because it's more common doesn't mean it's more popular. Don't confuse the two.

Popular with writers ≠ popular with readers.

On fanfiction.net, pretty much the Craigslist of fanfiction

I think I like your version over Siletcook's.

Of all the stories on this forum left to be never completed, this is the one I most wanted to continue.

That's incredible praise, and I appreciate it. Honestly, I had figured people had forgotten this fic.

My desire for this to continue was getting to the point that if you hadn't continued it already, I was going to try and contact you in a month or so and ask for any story notes you had in an effort to continue it myself. But I'm glad I don't have to do that. I don't know what I would have done with it, and this way I can be surprised.

(if you didn't pick up that she's kind of a ditz, I failed,) and let me set off the birth control/pregnancy bomb, in addition to distinguishing Iwanako from Hisao a little further with her first impressions of Yamaku.

Came through clear to me. And I loved the bomb. It really sets up the dilemma of a romantic partner.

I think it's been mentioned before, but at this point I trust your writing enough that I think Iwanako's thought process won't exactly be, "Hmm, I can't use birth control pills, and pregnancy is a death sentence. Who can I have sex with where those two things don't matter?"

"Enter Stage Left," though, wasn't important at all, but at the same time it can't happen offscreen, either, for pacing reasons and because going more than four or five chapters in without introducing one of the five canon love interests is going to drive readers away. I did consider something like moving the vacant desk in the classroom closer to the center or far end of the room so she could meet different characters, but I am resolute that this is a single point of departure fic, and I couldn't come up with a non-contrived reason as to why Iwanako having the heart attack instead of Hisao would shift the position of an empty desk in a classroom several hours away.

My original draft of this story was basically just the canon scene, drenched in Iwanako's inner monologue, because that was all I could manage to offer. My beta liked it, but I thought it was crap, and shelved it until I reread Chapter 4 and realized Iwanako came to Yamaku early, so the classroom didn't necessarily have to be full of students when Mutou walked in. This provided me enough wiggle room to change the pacing of the scene and the dynamic between Misha/Shizune and Iwanako, which is what I needed to write something I didn't utterly hate.

You made a good choice. Nice that you worked Molly into it as well. I assume you're planning on pairing Iwanako with one of the five main girls—based on your single point of departure desire—but it's a good idea to be different with the side characters.

I'm stealing this too.

BTW, don't feel obligated to include choices and bad ends like you said earlier.

Yeah, at this point I don't think that's going to happen. Definitely not until the main story is finished, if at all. Don't get me wrong, I still think Rika Story is the proverbial gold standard for writing a route, and the first bad end Rikabro wrote absolutely gave me chills, but Mean Time to Breakdown isn't a route in the same mold as a fic which sets out to pair Hisao with a side character. I do write it with Original Flavor as a priority, and write it as though I intend to mod the fic into the actual game, but speaking practically, nothing you do in "Life Expectancy" is going to shift you into this story.

Thankyouthankyouthankyou!

Some people probably think I'm crazy for thinking about this fic in such literal terms, but I'd probably tell those people not to rain on my parade.

I think Silentcook's praise for doing just that is well deserved. As he said, keep up the good work.

[LorSquirrel]

this route has actually given me a couple of ideas for the fic i'm writing (although my god awful grammar will probably spell its doom)

[Panthour]

I just reread the whole thing once I realized it was updated, and I'm really enjoying it.

I'm still wondering if there will be a pairing and who it will be with. If you don't want to spoil it or you haven't decided I don't mind, but I was just curious I guess.

Keep up the good work, I'll be looking out for updates!

[griffon8]

He has stated that there will be a pairing and that it will be with a girl. He hasn't, IIRC, stated that it will be one of the main five girls, but that is my impression.

I expect Iwanako's equivalent to 'Lunch Evolution Theory' will tell us a lot about what happens. After that scene in the VN, Hisao's possibilities drop by 1–3 girls.

[Leaty]

(deadfic)

[griffon8]

You made a good choice. Nice that you worked Molly into it as well. I assume you're planning on pairing Iwanako with one of the five main girls—based on your single point of departure desire—but it's a good idea to be different with the side characters.

This should in no way be taken as an indication or implication of what I'm going to do, but this doesn't really follow. The main girls are the main girls because Hisao went after them, that's all. They'll all be prominently featured in this fic because KS isn't really KS without them, but as for a romance, you'll have to wait and see.

Fair enough.

He has stated that there will be a pairing and that it will be with a girl. He hasn't, IIRC,

You guessed incorrectly.

I'll keep that in mind if it comes up again.

[Comrade]

I remember, a long time before I made this account I've read the beginning of this, and out of all of the things I've read here, this is probably my favorite

[YOTC]

Oh hey, this is alive again? It slipped through my radar apparently. Good to see it's going again.

[Leaty]

(deadfic)