Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Nooby]

Right, I'm giving this another go since my post didn't come through, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~

Hello.

I've played and finished this game about 2 weeks ago. It's sort of stuck with me, I'll talk about my playthrough later. Now I find myself reading through this year old thread with, I think, about 2500 posts. To me, it's a small (well, not really small) treasure.

The 2nd of february, I finished reading all 183 pages. This thread is almost a year old, happy anniversary in advance

I feel thanks are in order.

Thanks to the creator of the thread, aswell as the moderators.
Thanks to the creators of KS.
Thanks to those brave enough to share their stories in this thread.

Shout out to those caring about the person behind the post. Giving out helpfull advice for those in need, you're wonderful folk.

Shout out to the people who read but are held back for any reason to share their story with others, on forums or otherwise.

And, I'm not sure this is appropriate, a momento to those who lost their.. struggle against depression or things alike.

~~~~~~~~~~

As for me, I'm content with who I am. I don't think I'm depressed, just somewhat lonely.. at times? I'm 22 years old. Not very social, moderately likeable and unsuccesful on the getting-a-girl-front. I don't mind, I've set no goals or quota (lol) for myself. It's probably my greatest flaw, lacking ambition on, well, any front. But hey, I picked a study and I'm able to follow it through so far.

I'm not into anime and never even heared of 'VN'. Appart from KS I did watch and read Swort Art Online, which i thought was quite enjoyable. There is something I like and dislike about both these two experiences. I think it's a bit sexist to see only (semi)hot chicks and short skirts. To be fair, the sexual tension does add suspension to the story, but still I felt uncomfortable to see my cursor unintentionally hover over a 2D girls private part when she entered the scene. What I very much enjoyed was the humour, still not sure why. Probably a nice counter weight to the struggle between good and evil, or hope and despair.

About my playthrough of KS... I didn't know how this game was build up. I did not know there were paths, I just chose from the heart. I ended up going for Hanako and ended up with a 'bad ending', when I didn't follow Lilly's advice. To be honest, I felt screwed over by the writers. I felt terribly wrong picking the option when Hisao went in, uninvited. Let alone him pushing her over the limit.

After this I needed a break. This game was getting.. got to me.. emotionally. This lead to me debating with myself whether I indeed chose poorly or whether I could not relate to Hisao's actions. I still believe it was the second part. I went back in and chose the 'good ending', which I thought was a bit awkward but I felt happier nevertheless.

For some reason I went in and thought about the other characters. What did i miss? I was interested in Misha and Emi and decided to play again. I can't remember why but I ended on a manly picknick after Hisao had been rude to Misha (again, grrr writers). After this i discovered the forums and decided to delete the game, It's done its work I would say.

I'm working through this thread as I write this draft of what may end up here aswell. As I said, I'm content with myself, yet feel the need to question who I am and if that person has done right or wrong in the past. I've had ups and downs, loved and lost people, but don't feel any need to share my story. This is either because it's insignificant or atleast I fail to see how it could be.

While working through this thread, which has taken me several days already (luckily I have a few days spare time) I've been selecting a few lines of a lot of posts. These lines I've selected because of several reasons. Some moved me, some made me chuckle. Some made me through-and-through filled with sadness, some made me laugh out loud. Some reminded me of certain situations or people.

Anyway, I've created a .txt file containing these lines. If you were to read it you may reckognize a part of your own post. You may remind a certain topic or a post by somebody else. Maybe, you could guess why i selected a certain line.

Originally I uploaded my text file to a website in order to share it, but I found you could add a file to a reply.

KS forum.txt

Interesting lines

(13.98 KiB) Downloaded 302 times

~~~~~~~~~~

I will share with you what thoughts have crossed my mined and have felt the need to write down:

- A lot of people end their post with a sorry or an excuse of some kind.

Don't be, you're very welcome as I can tell by numerous replies and general attitude. Your post is yet another gem in this methaphorical treasure.

- There is a lot of humour around.

I like it. Many of the lines I quoted were jokes or witty comments of some sort. Humour is very important to me, as long as I can be happy (and sad!) I feel alive which makes me reason I cannot be depressed, if I were to doubt that. I'm also fortunate enough to never consider suicide because of this.

- I see a lot of bullied people.

And many people reacted with anger. I also felt my blood boiling at times. I've thought about this and about people giving in to negative emotions like hatred but also sarcasm. Maybe instead of being sad or angry back at them for hurting our feelings, we should pity them? And to those we may pity, like a handicapped person, we should share our acceptance and love with, like any other person?

- I see people make progress in their lives (even despite new hardships) in this thread.

I have some people (or usernames rather) in mind. I don't want to get too specific though. Perhaps you yourself have reread earlier posts of yourself and reflected upon it. If you haven't, maybe it's a good idea.

- A girl shared her story, resulting in interesting posts

Many, many people replied. Way more then average. She and many others were okay with condemning her stalker to physical violence, some agreed, some wanted the stalker outright to die. I'm.. torn on this. Frankly, disappointed and slightly sad.

~~~~~~~~~~

Anyway

I've discovered:

I don't like to show my emotions to even my closest relatives.
I used to be an odd one (I still am), without realising until now. Probably has been a good thing.

~~~~~~~~~~

Right. I don't mind the wall of text I've created, but I do understand a bit why some people apologize hehe. Oh well, not like you were forced to read it. (Blink twice if you're being forced to read)

[rb867]

First of all this is my first post on the forum so hello to everyone

I've never read a visual novel before or played a dating sim. This game was actually way out of my comfort zone for games and I went in expecting to be turned off by it soon after starting. That didn't happen, and I actually really enjoyed myself, I kept playing and eventually got sucked into the story and the world.

After playing for days and logging hours and hours into the game I finally beat it, on Emi's path. I'm not gonna lie I got pretty damn emotional at times, mostly because it made me think about my life. But when it really hit me was when I beat the game. When I finished the game, I immediately became depressed, and I know from reading the forums that this isn't uncommon, but it really hit me hard and I'm still feeling that way. I eventually decided to sit down and critically evaluate my life and what I've done, and I realized that I hate the person I've grown to be... That I can accept, I am willing and now motivated to change myself through means such as physical activity, healthy eating, better life decisions etc.

The real question I had was, and please disregard sappiness and think about this deeply; does love as pure and deep as what Hisao and Emi had exist on this Earth? I was reading the forums and people were saying the love they shared was very rare in the real world. This is when I realized, what is the point in trying to love if you cannot reach this level?

I've never really been in a meaningful relationship in my life and this game made me realize what love could be. If that level of love, where you can love somebody and be best friends with them, and share everything, and just click, doesn't exist, then what is the point of trying to love?

Any insight is appreciated, and sorry for the length of text. Also, please don't tell me what i want to hear, I'd rather hear the truth.

[Xanatos]

To be honest, I felt screwed over by the writers.

Yes. I totally know that feel. The writers are absolutely screwing us over by...Well, writing a story that ended badly due to our own choices that the writers had no control over.

*blinks twice* (There's a gun to my head, halp.)

[Yoh_Komori]

I have a bit of a sad story, even if it isn't mine. To tell it though, you must know some of my past.

I was 10 when my parents divorced. My father was a hard working man with a kind heart. Always helping family friend and stranger alike, any way he could. My mother suspected him of being careless(red:drunk/ drinking/driving while drinking) around myself and my 8 year old sister. To make matters worse a sibling of my father had fallen on a bit of bad luck with her neighbor, who accused her of being an unfit mother to her 3 daughters. My father being the man he was, he agreed to take in my cousins without a second thought, and while my mother agreed the stress wore on her. they split, fighting over custody and money like all people do, leaving us 5 children to fend for ourselves, effectively stuck in a unkind world, with no one to shield us from the dangers of life.

Being raised to do like my father, I took it upon myself to shoulder the burden of caring for my cousins and sister while the battle for control of us in court. I was too young to know how to care for kids, being no better than a child myself, but yet I somehow managed. I juggled school for my self, and them, for child care and sitters fr the 3 year old. I found creative ways to be first on the call lists for the 4 of them if they were sick or got hurt or were bullied. I became "dad" though I was not net "adult". One cannot bear such burdens when they themselves are still in that phase in life for long though, and it began to wear on me.

I became depressed, a hollowed out shell of my former cheery self. My family loved how kind and happy I used to be and noticed in short order that my attitude had changed. Fortunately for me, my family, and I, are stubborn and will do all we can to others who are in need of help. An aunt who was always kind to me seen how angry and sad I'd become. It worried her, and despite her fading sense of sight, she could see plain as day I needed reminding that life could always be worse. She came to see me one day, asking if I would join her on a trip to this clinic for people who had failing or a lack of vision.I thought to my self that I would be sitting in a room full of blind old women being asked to pass cookies around or something else stupid. I could not have been so wrong.

When I got there she immediately we greeted with smiling faces and hellos, but one "hello" caught both our ears, it was different, the accent was refreshing and exotic, while still having a very inviting tone to it. My aunt called out "Sonya where are you?" and when we heard "over here." I saw her. She had to be no older than 19, vibrant red hair, green eyes, and looked simply ravishing. Sitting in a corner at a leather arm chair, she seemed so out of place. I thought to my self "what could a girl like her possibly be doing here?", I was soon to find out Sonya was blind. Those emerald orbs of joy and kindness had never let her once see the light of day, but she didn't care.

"So who did you bring with you, you mentioned you had someone I should meet?" asked the red haired girl in her beautiful Indian accent.
"I'd like you to meet my nephew, [my name] he's here today surprised to meet you too."

and boy was I surprised. A pasty white skinny kid like me sitting less than a foot from a girl like her normally would have raised eyebrows, but here people didn't care so much about who looked like what, but what someone was made of. Sonya and I became fast friends, my aunt must have told her I needed a friend, or something else nice. In retrospect it could not have been any other logical explanation, short a miracle. Even if she was completely blind, a guy like me then had no chance to even say hi to a girl like her, but somehow the 2 of us became the best of friends. Her friends were all "too childish" for her to hang out with, and treated her with kiddie gloves, and mine were all too immature. I'd grown up to fast and felt foreign around most kids my age. I was years beyond them in knowledge and emotionally far and above someone even 15 years old to my then 11. We found a connection, a "bond" in each others mental and emotional maturity levels. We could make jokes between us that other kids didn't get, we could talk about things adults were too ignorant or arrogant to help us with, but most of all we could ask each other for help, but know we did not have to worry about the other treating us like we could not make it on our own.

Pretty soon, I was spending all my spare time, even sleeping in the apartment of a women seven years my senior, not because we sought each others physical company, but because we sought the mind of someone we were truly akin to. years passed and this was how it stayed. we went to music concerts together, we read together, we walked together, did all the things a "couple" would do, but the difference here was she and I never once were physically intimate. We didn't want or need that, we simply wanted to be with each other. It would taste a lie to say we both(at times) hadn't noticed each other physically. 2 people can occupy a apartment flat together for only so long before someone sees (or becomes aware...) that someone in their presence is definitely naked, and right in front of them, or worse..... (fun fact: living around someone who uses their sense of hearing as their dominant sense does cause others to have to learn to...erm..."control" their breathing during stressful or excessive exercise ), but we brushed that off as one off mistakes.

Eventually she found a guy, Adrian, and I was skeptical at first. I may not have been Sonya's family or boyfriend, but I did want the best kind of person for her, as it's what she deserved. Thankfully Adrian was that kind of man. We hung out and he even took me aside once and asked me about if he was right for Sonya. It took her longer than me to realize he was right for her, and eventually she told us both. I was happy for her, not the slightest bit sad, even if I thought I should be. Sonya thanked me for being her friend, and caring about her. I could not help but laugh then that day, I found it so funny someone so intelligent had it so backwards. It was me who was so happy to have such a friend, someone who literally and figuratively rescued me from the depths of my own darkness, reaching forth through her own darkness showing me there was nothing bad about it.

Adrian and her eventually married, and had 2 wonderful kids. Sonya perused her dream, as a writer and now has 3 published works in braille AND text and is working on more, she may be blind but has not once let it slow her down.

At this point you're all probably wondering where the sad bit of this stories ending is. It's not about me, no I'm still happy for them, or was until this very morning, when she called me crying and half drunk. I mention this because Sonya does not drink, and I could count on 1 hand the times she's ever had more than a a glass or a bottle or a can of beer, spirit or wine of any sort. She told me on the phone today she had been drinking all night and sent the kids to her mother's house. Adrian had cheated on her, and worse decided to leave her, because "he can't deal with the kids and worrying about her". The man I thought was good enough, the man I could have swore was right for her. I was on the phone with her consoling her for almost 3 hours before I started writing this. There it is, there is the "sad part" of this story. Someone kind enough, smart enough and strong enough to raise 2 kids, at home while working from home as a professional published writer of several novels needs to be "worried about" by a man who was not strong enough to trust in her, and not kind enough to stay faithful.

If I ever find that man I swear I will beat him senseless and leave him for the rats in the gutter for hurting her in the way he has. My KS friends, if you knew me outside of this world, this digital plane of existence, you would know just how much I I mean that. I won't go out of my way to find that piece of trash, but he best not come back to her, or ever speak to me or try to contact either of us. I am leaving my home town for only the 6th time in my life to go and put my friend back together and help her cope. I owe her more than that. I'll be caring for kids that are not mine, but once could have ended up being. I'll be acting as "husband" to a "what if" of a wife, because I do love her and I will stand by her, because it's the right thing to do. My girlfriend understands, I've found work there, and until she is right I will be with her, hoping the bond we shared and still share is enough to make her whole again.

This story is not mine, but it is indeed sad. Now you know my past and of the kindest most wonderful woman I have ever met, and have never been with, and even if things are bad now it could always be worse, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I can only hope in a few years when she looks back on her life and knowing me, she feels as I do now.

[Xanatos]

I have a bit of a sad story...[snip]

Well...Now I want to kick that guy's ass.

[Beoran]

Yoh_Komori,

A sad story indeed. If the guy was unhappy in his relationship, he should have talked about it to her, not look for an easy exit though another relationship. That's an important point for me. I don't think it's wrong to come to a point in a relationship where you realize that you're not happy anymore and that something needs to change. But then you need to talk, not cheat.

Don't get too angry about it though, especially at yourself. People do change over time, and perhaps he overestimated himself. You no one can see the future, neitehr me nor you... I hope it works out somehow for you and her and all involved.

[DownRUpLYBStart]

- I see a lot of bullied people.

And many people reacted with anger. I also felt my blood boiling at times. I've thought about this and about people giving in to negative emotions like hatred but also sarcasm. Maybe instead of being sad or angry back at them for hurting our feelings, we should pity them? And to those we may pity, like a handicapped person, we should share our acceptance and love with, like any other person?

I can, I should, but I can't... not yet. To summarize, I am the product of an popular older brother who was talented in every way, that I sunk into his shadow forever. Typical mill outcast, slightly overweight, and shy. My brother's friends knew of me, but never really talked to me and being younger, my graduating class were full of douchebags (WOOT % graduated = 32). I got out of that damn place with a diploma in my hand, a shattered confidence, social skills as comparable as a grapefruit, and a 10,000 dollar scholarship. At this point, I still had my heads high in the clouds.

Well, college was a blur, still no friends, graduated without a second thought, got a job that requires the fine art of public speaking and client interaction, and at year 4 into my tenure, my job is starting to zero in and talk about my "loner" status. One day, at a show I was working at, there was a temp worker that I instantly recognized as one of my high school tormentors. I heard he dropped out of school, and he did not know me, I kept an uninterested facade but secretly I was seething. One of the few days I went outside to light up a cigarette. I hated he was there and hated that he talked about his family that I don't have myself, and yes, my reaction is anger and jealously.

Is it petty? Hell yeah it is, I will admit that. I feel terrible, but I am not ready to say, "Hey remember that time to pulled down my shorts in gym class, or that time you chased me in the bathroom and punched me against the wall... Good times huh? You totally wanted me to kill myself, but hey its in the past. Here, have a beer on me!" Maybe someday, but it is sure not hell going to be anytime soon. That goes the same for being invited to your EX's wedding because we are supposedly "still friends"

[YZQ]

2 things I can say:

1) People can compare you to your bro, but never do that yourself. You have your own plans, your own stuff that needs doing.
2) Bullies need bullying/frightening. Got grabbed once in a neighbouring class by boys who wanted to strip me (the fad back then). I gave a fellow a good bite with the mouth. Never got bothered ever again. No bully is so big that his nuts are immune to pain. Give them something to remind them not to pick on you.

[Nooby]

Is it petty? Hell yeah it is, I will admit that. I feel terrible, but I am not ready to say

I don't think it's petty. I think you're a human being.

I'm just very sad to see the anger within some of you/us. I recall a story about a kid who got bullied and ended up being the bullier. Others have worded it better, I guess what I want to say, some adopting characteristics that motivates bad things in them. Anger, inconsiderateness, feelings of superiority.

Those who were insulted, violated or degraded in any way have 'the most right' to feel these things, yes? Honestly, they don't. And nobody does, in my opinion. However to those people: it's only understandable, we're all just human beings and can take so much crap.

But tomorrow there is always a new day and a new chance to communicate with others and we should never shy away from kindness, politeness and such, for any reason. Ofcourse these emotions are always challenged, especially for those who are troubled. There's no reason not to try. I have good hopes, most of it I found with you guys. Again, thanks.

There's a word I want to speak about but I don't have the experience, knowledge or courage to talk about it. Forgiveness. Maybe somebody has the need, heart and courage to use it in their life. Maybe they would like to share it with others.

[Xanatos]

...Anger...

Those who were insultated, violated or degraded in any way have 'the most right' to feel these things, yes?

Honestly, they don't. And nobody does, in my opinion.

People don't have the right to feel a natural human emotion? Weird...

By the way, the word is "insulted". But insultated is more fun to say.

[Shadowstalk]

Hello everyone. I am quite new to this forum, as you can see, but I look forward to posting here and I feel I should introduce myself.

At a young age, my parents split up, which was no big deal to me. Life went on as my sister and I went back and forth from houses. No big deal. My father, who is incredibly kind though, had a problem. Drinking was his major flaw. He got arrested for DUIs several times and lost his license. I don't think he's getting it back for the rest of his life. Note, that I was very young, 7 or 8, when this happened. I just thought Daddy had friends from the taxi company that would drive me to school. This did not damage my life though, not as much as my mother who pounced on the opportunity at least.

My mother is a drunken bitch. I'll say it. I do not love her, nor do I want to see her. She drank herself to sleep every night. She also gained full custody over me for a time because she claimed my father was an unfit parent. She found a boyfriend that came off as nice to a young boy. He seemed nice, appealing and sweet to my mother. She was happy with him, so I was happy with him. He seemed to like me back. I wish I could say the same for my sister. They constantly got into spats whenever she was home from college, which was not much. My mother, who was still constantly drunk, took her boyfriend's side in every single argument. Her boyfriend was beginning to use her and split the family up. On Christmas a few years ago, he said "It's either me or her." My mother obviously sided with him, as usual. My sister fled to my father's house and lives there to this day.

Life without seeing her as much engulfed me. I couldn't possibly deal with it. My sister was more of a mother to me than my actual mother. I became depressed. When Halo Reach came out, I logged 240 hours in the first month due to the fact I was so lonely without her. I never thought of killing myself or anything of that sort, but I just felt so empty, like a robot. I had no purpose, no desire. Just a shell.

Eventually, I decided I needed to escape them. They wanted to have this magical life together. Who was I to "intrude"(even though my mother should be caring for me first over her disgusting boyfriend)? A few days after my birthday in April a few years ago, I left that house, never to come back.

I was constantly barraged with phone calls, asking for me to come back, but I never would. In school, my grades improved, despite the fact that they were already high. I pursued baseball and basketball more seriously. Hell, last year I pitched in the State tournament and gave up one run in 5 innings. My social life improved somewhat I guess. I was no longer lonely due to the fact that my mother and her boyfriend were drop dead drunk and I didn't have money for a taxi, like my father did. I gained friends and felt good.

I've came to playing Katawa Shoujo over the past month and its helped me realize a few important things. Most importantly, I'll always assist those who need help, follow my heart, and understand love and when it's needed. It's made me a better person and enlightened me almost. I want to help people and be that friend that some people desperately need. I'll constantly browse here and give advice to those in need.

[Xanatos]

Hell, last year I pitched in the State tournament and gave up one run in 5 innings.

I don't know baseball. Is that good?

And good for you escaping the drunken cunt. We'll all be around if ya got stuff to say. We try to keep this thread on-topic but many others derail on a regular basis. So bear with us.

[Shadowstalk]

Hell, last year I pitched in the State tournament and gave up one run in 5 innings.

I don't know baseball. Is that good?

And good for you escaping the drunken cunt. We'll all be around if ya got stuff to say. We try to keep this thread on-topic but many others derail on a regular basis. So bear with us.

I'll try to sound humble, but yes, that's damn good.

And thank you! It's nice to know that there are those willing to help! And I also get off topic myself from time to time, so I don't think it will be a problem

[SemisoftCheese]

I want to help people and be that friend that some people desperately need. I'll constantly browse here and give advice to those in need.

Word up, Shadowstalk. Good to hear you're owning your life and willing to expand to help others. No better way to live.

[YZQ]

I want to help people and be that friend that some people desperately need. I'll constantly browse here and give advice to those in need.

Word up, Shadowstalk. Good to hear you're owning your life and willing to expand to help others. No better way to live.

To love others, you must first love yourself. Hate to see parents like that, but yeah, it's good to cut loose in such situations.