A One-Shot Collection of... Elements? (revived 04/04/2013)

[Mirage_GSM]

From what I've seen of Japanese Arcades, they are at least 75% Crane Games or that variant where you drop tokens in and hope something will be pushed over the edge. Real "games" are actually quite rare.
And I'm not sure how any computer can calculate whether something will be caught by the crane or not.
Crane Games in Japan can contain anything from Plushies or chocolate over CDs, T-Shirts and other merchandise up to MP3-players and live fish.
Most of the stuff is arranged so that it's almost impossible to catch, though.

[Comrade]

A video about how cranes work

[Bacon Elemental]

My understanding of the crane games is simple, sort of in line to what Mirage_GSM thinks. I portrayed the crane as a "real game" and the claw having a rounded edge so it's not really easy to pick stuff up. Or I dunno. Something like that.

Now I'm wondering what I should write next. Just read the Rika route and it was amazing.

[Comrade]

Rika route eh?
well, you should write whatever you feel like, its your One shots here, if you want "ideas" from us we can PM about it.

the whole crane deal made me realize i could be a good factual proofreader

[Mirage_GSM]

A video about how cranes work

That link only works for mobiles, but I found the corresponding video anyway.
Seems hardly neccessary to rig those machines, seeing how ridiculously difficult it is to pick this stuff up anyway...

[Oddball]

My understanding of the crane games is simple, sort of in line to what Mirage_GSM thinks. I portrayed the crane as a "real game" and the claw having a rounded edge so it's not really easy to pick stuff up. Or I dunno. Something like that.

Now I'm wondering what I should write next. Just read the Rika route and it was amazing.

If you're ever short on ideas, just send a PM my way. I've got more than I could ever use.

[Comrade]

A video about how cranes work

That link only works for mobiles, but I found the corresponding video anyway.
Seems hardly neccessary to rig those machines, seeing how ridiculously difficult it is to pick this stuff up anyway...

oh crap, I posted that video from my mobiole.
is that a japanease crane game? never seen one of those before

[Mirage_GSM]

That (and the next three pictures in that folder) are crane games from the Aeon Mall in Narita.

[griffon8]

A nice start to writing. I look forward to anything else you produce.

the whole crane deal made me realize i could be a good factual proofreader

Being annoyed by similar mistakes is what made me try my hand at editing.

[Comrade]

I was once a fact checker for a brief period of time, so this brings up some old memories

[Oddball]

Oh, forgot to mention it earlier...

Either that or I'm just a ginormous baka

No. Bad writer. Bad!

You're writing in English. It's understood that the characters are speaking Japanese, so we're getting the translated version of what they're saying. Using a Japanese word when there are plenty of English ones that would work just as well just makes it feel poorly translated.

Anyway, other that that, good work so far.

[Bacon Elemental]

Last post date was January 3, huh? It's been that long?

Anyway, I finally got around to finishing a story I've had on the back of my head for quite a long time now. I'm not sure if this is any better than my previous two works. I don't think it is, since I've been away from this for 3 months now.

White Day

For a while, I listen to the rattling branches. These are the same branches, the same trees. This is the same place, the place where my dreams were realized. For some reason, watching and listening to the branches sway makes me forget that someone is approaching me from behind.

“Hisao?”

I’m a bit startled, but I recognize that sweet, gentle voice anywhere. She’s here. My dream is here. I end my cycle of shivering and rubbing my cupped hands. It’s cold. But I don’t seem to mind now since she’s here and that’s all that matters.

“You’re sort of late.”

Smooth, Hisao. Real smooth. All that waiting and that’s what you come up with.

“Iknow ohmygodI’msorryItooksolo-“

I place my hand on her shoulder and that seems to calm her down. “It’s okay. Let’s just get out of here. It’s really cold.”

“Um… okay. Wh-where do you w-want to go?” Her voice is weak and a little shaky. It’s as if she were afraid that I would eat her alive.

“I don’t really know. Anywhere, I guess. Let’s just walk for a while.”

So… that’s the best you can come up with, Hisao?

“I-I guess that would be best,” she replies. She grabs hold of my sleeve, and we walk away from the canopy and head to town.

A few remarks about the surroundings aside, we have a quiet walk to town, with her letting go of my sleeve somewhere along the way. The silence is a bit unsettling. That’s probably because this is my first date, and this is her first date as well. We’re both nervous, though she seems to be doing a pretty good job at hiding it now.

She breaks the silence. “How about… we go and find somewhere to eat?”, she asks, her voice a bit clearer than before. “That sounds like a good idea,” I reply. Dang, I really should take the initiative next time.

We find our way to a quaint little café. I’m surprised that she knows where this is. I wouldn’t have noticed it right away, were I traveling alone.

As we approach the entrance, she suddenly asks, “What time is it?”

“It’s a few minutes past six. Why do you-“

“Oh dear! I… Igottagetsomething! I’ll be back shortly!”

And just like that, she takes off. That was quick, abrupt even. Oh well. Can’t really do anything but find a nearby bench and wait. This is a good time to try and compose myself a bit, however.

I still feel a bit nervous, even though this is the girl of my drea- oh, she’s back. And she’s got a small bag with her, neatly wrapped with a ribbon. I wonder what’s inside and who’s it for. It doesn’t look like she even broke a sweat. Has she always been this fit and well-toned?

She snaps me out of my random thoughts. “So Hisao… shall we? I’m really sorry about leaving so abruptly.”

“I don’t mind. That was pretty quick of you, though. Now I’m curious. What did you get and why is it wrapped up?”

“Not telling. Teehee~” She gives a playful wink, then grabs my arm and we both enter the café. That was a rather unexpected expression from her this early on, but I like it.

Since she’s more familiar with the place, I figured that I’d let her do the ordering.

“So…”

“We haven’t really talked much, have we?”

“I guess so. It’s not really a big d-“

“No, no. Communication is key. For a certain door, I think. I don’t know which one, though. Someone just told me that,” she says matter-of-factly, which I find hard-to-believe.

I retort, “You’re not really good at this, are you?”

“I… not really.” She blushes slightly while letting out a small chuckle.

“You’re a bit of a tease. But, you’re also right. Communication is very important.”

“I’m not really sure where or how to start…” She lowers her head ever so slightly.

“It’s okay,” I say, looking ever-so-confident. “I have absolutely no idea as well.” My face feigns depression and we share a laugh.

Our meals arrive. I see. So she got me a turkey sandwich, and it’s a reasonable size. There’s even a few potato wedges to go along with the sandwich. To top it off is a glass of water. That’s a pretty healthy choice. Now, I wonder what she’s having…
A clubhouse?

Whoa. I never knew she had quite an appetite. Complementing her sandwich is milk tea. Uh-huh. With that, we start eating. I couldn’t help but notice that she has really good table manners, and the way she eats is very refined.

Midway through our meal, she asks, “Hisao, do you know what you want to do later on in life?”

Well, that’s a surprising way to start a conversation.

“I really haven’t thought much about it yet. Right now, I’m just going through life one day at a time. Maybe a day will come when I can really decide for myself.”

“I… see. I’m also like you. I don’t really know what I want to be, but unlike you, I’m not really sure where the winds will take me, so to speak.”

I nod inquisitively. It looks like she has something extra to say.

“I do wonder if winds can actually take us somewhere. Maybe they can, if they were strong enough to make humans fly. Like tornadoes. They make houses fly, so it follows that they can make humans fly.”

“Uh… they do, and that’s not exactly a good thing.”

“I guess so. I’ve wondered about ‘winds of change’ as well. Do winds really bring change? The only times I can notice these changes is when a breeze blows by me and I feel colder. Sometimes a certain breeze blows and my nose doesn’t react well to it.”

“Um…”

She just smiles at me. I smile back and we continue eating, although I’m still trying to digest what just happened.

After we have finished, she pays for the meals, even though I insist that I could pay my share without any problems.

We then head out with nothing to do at the moment but stare at each other.

“Hisao, I think I know where to go next. Come on.” She grabs my arm.

It takes me a while to realize that we’re heading out of town…

…and back to the place where we met. We get closer to each other, sharing a bit of our warmth.

“Why’d we go back here? It’s pretty cold.”

Her expression turns somewhat solemn. She lowers her head a bit and starts playing with her fingers. In a hushed tone, she says, “Well… this place is very important to me. This is where we agreed to meet each other after I gave you that letter. It means a lot more, knowing that you said yes and meant it.”

I smile. “I feel the same way. It’s like one of my biggest dreams coming true.”

Seeing me reciprocate her feelings makes her feel brighter.

“Mine, too. So… thank you so much for today, and thank you for saying yes. We may have been a bit too awkward today, but that’s okay. I’m sure that we’ll just get to know each other more and more in the near future. We’ll only continue to grow closer to each other.”

“I would really like that.”

“Oh, before I forget… here.” She hands me the small bag she got earlier.

“I wonder what these are… oh!”

Curiosity sated. They're mittens. A very comfortable and snug pair, if I may add.

“Warm…”

“I knew you’d like them.”

I don’t think any more words need to be said. I pull her closer to me and wrap my now-warmer hands and arms around her. She’s taken by surprise at this, but she hugs me back.

“Thank you for the mittens. And… well, thank you for everything that happened today. I’m very happy.”

“So am I. I do have another thing to give you, Hisao. Close your eyes.”

I comply. We let go of the hug, and she places her hands on my face. I can feel her getting closer and closer…

…

…

…

Huh?

That’s weird. I should have felt the softness of her lips already. I wonder what’s going on. Maybe I should open my eyes.

…

…

…

White.

Where is she? More importantly, where am I?

I feel like I’ve been lying down for a long time. I should take a look arou-

Oh.

_______________________________________________________________

Basically, my concept was that Hisao accepted the letter from Iwanako...

...only to find out that he was in a dream. I tried to give Iwanako a little bit of each of the 5 KS girls' personalities (or quirks)

I apologize:

> If any of the personalities felt forced or overly rushed. I did intend to rush the personality changes a bit, since Hisao was dreaming.

> If the fic in general isn't good. I'm still trying to ease my way back to writing.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, though.

[Mirage_GSM]

I tried to give Iwanako a little bit of each of the 5 KS girls' personalities (or quirks)

If that was intentional, I congratulate you; it was exceptionally well done.

[Bacon Elemental]

I tried to give Iwanako a little bit of each of the 5 KS girls' personalities (or quirks)

If that was intentional, I congratulate you; it was exceptionally well done.

Yes, it was intentional. And really? Thank you!

I had thoughts about it not coming out well, but now I feel better after seeing this.

[Mirage_GSM]

Well, when I was reading it, It was a bit annoying to be honest. One section, the girl seemed to be Hanako, a few lines down, she felt like Emi, Lilly or Rin. I was going to write a scathing comment about that until I got to your annotation...
And I really didn't find a section where she sounded like Shizune