First time poster to the main HBHC, long time lurker though.
I met someone I could say I "love" for the first time when I was 5, I didn't know it then but this girl and I would see more of each other in years to come. She was nice enough then, and shared juice with me at lunch. I didn't think anything more of that girl until much later though.
I grew up went to school and did as most kids do, made friends and hated homework.
about grade 6 we were pushed to pick up an instrument, I decided on the tuba as it seemed easy enough to play. and there I met what can only be described as a shy, closet okatu with a seriously kind heart and a obsession with inyusha. she played baratone and we had to learn similar parts. Her Name was Nicole, and she and I realized we like a lot of the same music and anime. We became good friends and "band geeks" till in grade 8 when I realized I just could not keep up practice with the tuba. We parted ways and said our goodbyes, as she would be moving away for a year or more, but not before we kissed after the recital at the end of the year. She looked lovely in that turquoise dress and ribbon hair do she was "forced" to sport( in retrospect, she looked like a loli had under gone a time-skip to legal age
). Her braces bit me, but In didn't care, we were happy to have had such good times and happy both of us shared these feelings.
Grade 9 passed by like a frigging slug and grade ten started no different, until I seen it. The bubble gum pink hair, the jack skellington-hello kitty sweater, those hazel eyes and that smile. Nicole had changed, she was still as tall as she was in band those almost 3 years ago, but wow....the titty fairy came to her house twice in 1 night @.@. she had to be no taller than 5'4" but had at least 35-40 D cup, and her looks had undergone a real punk rock do over. she was no longer a closet okatu, she wore it on her shoulder (literally) the over-done make up, the puppy dog eyes, the metal bands and the "school girl uniform" teeshirt. It was goofy, geeky and such a damn turn on all at once. We became fast friends once again. We even started work on my comic. Her artistic skill had blossomed since I knew her last, and her passion for drawing in the eastern styles had only improved her skill further.
We eventually dated, and on one eventful day her mom decided to do what a girl like her would only consider treason, and bring forth the baby pictures. she was embarrassed, and I tried to console her while faining interest and then we seen a picture of that happy little girl shairing juice with a boy who's had looked too big for his body. "god, mom don't show him that I look like I'm retarded" she said, but I could only blurt out "wait" as she turned the page. She froze, "what are you a peedo or something, it's just me in preschool, what's so special about it." It was special to me, I turned back the page and asked about the boy. "I don't remember much but I always used to-" I cut her off "-share his juice box every day." with a smile. Her eyes went wide, I could only smile as my eyes grew wider. she had a look that was 1 part deer in the headlight, 1 part amnesia patient realizing her lost memories, and 1 part of the girl from king kong as she was grabbed and carried up the empire state building. "how do you know that, you can't possibly know that...." both her and her mom said, "..unless I was that kid, right" I said quietly, now realizing how embarrassed I felt to be known as that kid.
When she started to cry I felt like I should never had even shared my juice back all those year ago, let alone speak of it today, but then she hugged me crying "you mean you were that kid. the only one who was nice to me in kindergarten?" I replied, only hugging her back and nodding. "you kept Nikki going" her mom said now quietly closing the book, "she was bullied all through school, but she kept remembering that nice kid and her friend from band, those 2 kids kept my girl going through the bad time's in her life" "Mom, he IS my friend from band, don't you get it! there one in the same!" she said through teary eyes, make-up running and all. she hadn't told her mom about us as friends in band, at least never mentioned my name or introduced me to her mom. now it was her moms turn for that doe-eyed look. It had dawned on her that for years her daughter had kept having a crappy life, but kept being befriended, and "saved" by the same caring boy. she quietly muttered "thank-you" and left us. Nicole cried on my shoulder for what felt like eons, then brushed off the tears and said blushing "I probably don't seem anything like the girl you thought I was before I became a bawling mess today. you probably don't want to date-" I cut her off. "-don't say that. You are every bit the girl I've known this year, known 2 years back for 2 years and known when that picture was taken. why would the knowing make me not like you?" we kissed and hugged and she smiled that million watt smile of hers. Knowing for better, or worse, we had found, forged, and realized we had never lost our friends through all the years.
As the school year went on, we remained as close as ever, drawing for each other, sharing music, and doing all that teen angst stuff together that 2 closet okatus would love to do. when grade 11 ended though, she was finish her schooling. She was after all, a year ahead of me in school, despite being in the same class all those years before. We parted ways on nothing but a smile and a wave. We're both bad at goodbyes and cry when we lose friends like that, so it ended as best it could.
We never said to each other once that we loved each other. even to this day, the best we can muster is "hello" and a catch-up conversation over coffee, or ideas for m comic she is still faithfully drawing for when ever she manages to find time. We've moved on, and found other people who we care for deeply and commit to, but both of us, every time our eyes meet, see all the feelings we had for each other still there. I found a someone I could say I "Loved" at age 5, and in spite of 17 years of change occurring, it seems all I can do is just take heart in knowing I found it, we found it, together.
