A One-Shot Collection of... Elements? (revived 04/04/2013)

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Bacon Elemental
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A One-Shot Collection of... Elements? (revived 04/04/2013)

Post by Bacon Elemental »

Hello, everybody. Name's Ian, discovered KS around a month ago I think. Brilliant piece of work by 4LS. You guys are awesome. Forum lurking and reading helped me get an even better understanding of the characters. Now, when I saw the endings, I often thought of scenarios that happen after the endings. So I turned to reading KS fanfics here, and I liked a lot of the things I read. Then, somewhere along the way, I wanted to write my own piece of fan fiction.

I'll start with a one-shot collection and see how it goes from there.

Pardon me if my writing isn't as good as the other fan fics here. Any help would be welcome. :oops:

Here are the others:
Crane Game
White Day


Anyway, first up is an Iwanako fanfic attempt with two possible outcomes. I could probably consider this a one-shot with choices.


One Closes, Another Opens

I couldn't do it.

As hard as I tried, I just couldn't bring myself to write. But then, I sort of knew from the get-go that it had "terrible idea" plastered all over it. It wouldn't completely rid me of the guilt I've been feeling ever since that day. Ah, yes. That day.

That was the day when I thought that everything would be alright. After all, I had mustered enough courage to show up and speak to him. I told him that I wanted to go out with him. It was a crucial step towards telling him how I really felt about him. But, it happened. He collapsed. He had a heart attack. Because of me.

Worse, I couldn't even say anything meaningful during his stay in the hospital. Although we would chat occasionally, I couldn't bring myself to speak about that day in the snow. I couldn't apologize. I just sat idly by and said nothing. I stopped visiting him after the 6th week, but I don't know why. Every time I wanted to go... I just could not take that final step to his room. I remained outside, heavily burdened. I heard that he was in there for four months. And I only lasted six weeks. Some person I am. Maybe he has already moved on with life, and maybe that's the way things should be.

My introspection is interrupted by a news report. Apparently, there's going to be a huge festival in Yamaku Academy, a school specially made for the disabled. Everybody's permitted to join in, the report said. Hmm... Yamaku. The name rings a bell. I had overheard in one of my failed visits to his room about this school. Maybe he's there... no, wait, I know he's there. But should I really just write to him and carry on?

No.

I have to go. I have to tell him all these things I wanted to tell him but couldn't.

After a few questions about how to go to Yamaku, I set off. It's now or never.

The long trip to Yamaku should have helped me collect my thoughts better, but instead, it only made me fidgety. I knew that this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to tell him how I really felt, yet a part of me doesn't want to face him out of fear. He probably doesn't want to see me as well. I may just be Iwanako the Heart Breaker to him. I may just be that classmate who lasted longer than the school projects dictated to him. Should I just turn back and go home?

Gah! Iwanako, what are you doing, doubting yourself and him? You're already here! Make the most of it!

I finally make my way to the gates of Yamaku Academy. It's a beautiful place, with lovely architecture and lush, open areas. The festival only accentuates its beauty. Although it's almost evening, the festivities don't seem to have died down. The academy grounds are bustling. Will I be able to find him in here, I wonder? Will I be too late?

I start to look for him in the academy grounds, and after a while, I end up in front of what I assume is the main building with no results. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. Maybe it's just that there are too many people. That aside, it's getting pretty late. Either I start a more meticulous search for him from the grounds or I try to look for a vantage point, like... the roof. Of course. The main building looks like it's still open, and I may have a better chance of pinpointing his location from above, but that would take a fair amount of time. Still, he HAS to be somewhere. I wonder...

> Search the grounds again.

> Search the main building.

- SEARCH THE GROUNDS AGAIN -

I do a much more meticulous search in the academy grounds this time around. I check every nook and cranny for any signs of him. My search first takes me to the stalls and the area surrounding them. I probe around, but it looks like he's not working in the stalls. In fact, he's nowhere near the stalls. I leave immediately and stumble upon the track-and-field oval. He's not there. This is bad. He's not even in the quieter areas of the school where only vegetation and a few benches were to be found. Nowhere! He's nowhere to be found!

My steps start to quicken and I start to panic a little. I return to the busier area of the academy, only to hear screams. Screams of help. The crowd, or at least a large chunk of it, suddenly shifts to the source of the sound, and I follow suit. Maybe he did as well. This could be a bit of a blessing in disguise. The disturbance makes him just a bit easier to find. He could probably be there already, providing assistance to whoever the screaming person is.

I budge my way around the crowd, all of them now gathered towards the source. I hear sobs. This must be bad. Maybe I should try and help out, or at least find out what's going on. Then I can find him.

I finally get in front, and... there he is.

There's no doubt. That's Hisao Nakai. That's the guy I liked, and possibly even loved. The guy I wanted to go out with, months ago... and maybe even today. He's here. In the flesh. After so long.

And he's lying in a pool of blood. Beside him are two terrified girls, one with curled pink hair and one with glasses and short blue hair. Also beside him... a smashed bottle of whiskey.

He... Hisao... is dead.

I manage to ask softly, attempting to choke back tears, "W-w-what... h-happened... here?"

The pink-haired girl beside him, eyes wide open and in shock, could only mumble.

Finally, she manages to utter, "Hi... Hic... Hicchan... Hicchan fell... o-o-off the roof." The girl says no more and begins to sob.

My mouth turns agape. My lips tremble. No way. I couldn't really process this... happening in my mind. I then try to slowly back away from the body, thinking that this is all just a dream, but I can't... because it's not. I just stand there, dead in my tracks. No. This can't be.

I spent this day trying to organize my thoughts and my feelings towards Hisao. I wanted to tell him how I really felt, something I did not do during his time in the hospital. And when the time came... there he was, dead.

I fall on my knees and let everything go.

The night continues and I remain this way, kneeling down and an emotional wreck. His body was already taken to a hospital an hour or two ago, though I doubt that would do any good.

Suddenly, someone taps me in my shoulder.

"It's very l-late..."

The pink-haired girl. Her cheeks are still puffy, but she seems to have calmed down considerably.

“I... know.”

"D-did you know Hicchan?"

"I..."

"Hm?"

"I loved him."

- SEARCH THE MAIN BUILDING -

I take my chances and go to the main building. It's open. Thank goodness. The building is barren, save for the odd soul looking for what seems to be the restrooms and/or wanting to get away from the hustle and bustle outside. I start searching for anything that resembled stairways. After all, there's no way to go but up.

It didn't take long for me to find the stairs to the second floor. Then the third floor. Then, I come across another flight of stairs, possibly to the roof. I start to make my way up. Finding Hisao will be a lot easier if I can get a good view of the grounds from above.

Wait. I hear something. Voices. There are people on the roof. One of the voices sounds familiar. Could it be? I suddenly freeze. It could be him. It could really be him. This could be my chance to make things right. And yet, something's stopping me. Why did I stop? I then realize that I haven't had contact with him ever since the incident. Times have changed. Of course. It's naive of me to think that I can just waltz up there, say what I feel and pull this off just like that.

Maybe it's not really him. Maybe it's just someone who sounds like him. Ah, whatever. You've wasted enough time, Iwanako. Steel yourself already.

Slowly, I make my way up the remaining steps and open the door. It was... an unfamiliar sight. It's Hisao. It really is Hisao. But... there's a bottle of whiskey in his hand. What for? Beside him was a weird-looking guy with huge glasses and a scarf beside him. Must be a classmate of his.

"Hisao!"

Suddenly, the weird-looking guy jumps off his spot and turns in random directions, as if trying to find an assassin ready to unseat him from the throne of political power. "Huh? Who's there?!”

Hisao's reaction is a quick glance. However, after he glances, his body language changes. He seems to freeze for a bit, then proceeds to rub his eyes, obviously in disbelief over having seen me here in Yamaku. We've never really gotten in touch since those past months, so I guess that's normal. His eyes widen.



“N-no way... Iwanako? W-w-what... are you doing here?”

“Who's this 'Iwanako' that you speak of?!”

A moment of awkward silence and staring follows. I try to break the silence.

“Hisao, I-”

“Is that what I think it is? A female?!”

The weird guy starts to move with an even greater sense of threat. Hisao attempts to move away from him, but just as he does that, he stumbles a bit. He starts to breathe heavily and clutch his chest. Could he be... no! Not now, damn it! Not again! I don't want to be known as the Heart Breaker again!

He calms down, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Slowly but surely, he walks towards me, still carrying an air of shock and disbelief around him. It looks like he's managed to suppress a bit of his shock, but his arms and legs are still shaking a bit.

“Kenji, I have to go. I'll be seeing you, man. Good luck with that feminist thing or whatever.”

Hisao then gives me a brief signal to come with him.

“What the hell?! T-t-this 'Iwanako' must be the ambassador of the Feminist Liberation Army, and she's clearly trying to declare war on me by taking you with her?! Are you really going to submit to them and leave me as the only true bro in the world?! Gah! Impossible! I-I-I will not stand for this intrusion...!”

The weird guy's voice trails off as Hisao accompanies me back to the campus grounds, and I find something to eat for both of us. He then leads me to a spot near the track-and-field oval and we sit down.

Silence. Again. I'm afraid. Afraid of repeating the same process of just making small talk without really telling him how I feel. I'm afraid of what he thinks of me. I fidget a little. But, I know that I have to do this. Now.

"H-Hisao, I... uh...”

He's still awestruck, but he manages to cut me off mid-conversation. Slowly, he asks, "Is... this... real? Is it... really you?” He stops for a moment and grumbles to himself, “Gah, what am I saying? Of course it's real. That's her.” He then regains his composure and slowly, but surely, asks, “What... are you doing here?”

I speak up, “I... found out that there was a festival in Yamaku.”

More silence. This isn't good. But he notices this and tries his best to regain his composure and continue the conversation.

“You went here alone?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted to... talk to you. About-”

“My heart attack?”

“I'm sorry.”

Hisao remains silent, a bit lost in thought, even.

He continues, “It wasn't your fault, Iwanako.”

I only manage to look at him. Damn. I have to say something.

“It's not... just that. I've... been wanting to tell you something. Something I should've told you a long time ago.”

“It's okay. Take your time.”

“Do you remember those... six weeks? Those six weeks of visiting you in the hospital?” I try to follow up, but no words come out of my mouth. Damn it. This is difficult.

“Is... something the matter?”

“It's just that... there was something... about you. Something odd.”

“Odd? What do you mean?”

I force myself to speak out.

“It looked like... while you were just lying there, y-you... looked like you wanted to give up on life. You... wanted to submit to your condition.” The words become easier to say. “You didn't want to be happy anymore. You drifted farther and farther away. I kept trying to visit you until you got out, but after a while, I felt so guilty that I couldn't even approach your door on the following weeks. I wasn't really gone, I was just..."

My voice cracks and tears start to run down my face.

"I just... didn't know what to do or what exactly to say. I couldn't even say anything on what happened during that snowy day. I felt awful. I felt like I was just that girl who gave you that letter and wanted to go out with you, no more. I didn't want you to think of me that way, but I unconsciously did."

I fall silent again. Hisao, on the other hand... looks like he's been hit by a truck. His expressions shift from shock to grief to blankness. I must have said something wrong.

Finally, he speaks, “I... you're right.” That's all he could say. He's still lost.

My tears dry up. I get rid of the lump in my throat. "I-I want to tell you this now, even though it's easier said than done... Don't give up. Don't let your condition define who you are now and who you will be in the future. Don't shut your life out on others. Nobody would want that. Our friends wouldn't want to hear that. I wouldn't want to hear that. You're still the Hisao Nakai I knew and liked very much during our second year, and I want you to continue being that Hisao Nakai. No, wait, I want you to be more than that. I want you to go beyond your arrythmia. Be the best Hisao Nakai you can be. There's really no other way to go but up."

I let out a long sigh, relieved that I've said my piece. But all that follows is silence. It feels like time has come to a grinding halt.

He then takes me by surprise, wrapping his arms around me. I feel a teardrop on my shoulder.

"Thank you, Iwanako. I... understand now."

We remain like this for a few minutes. Eventually, I speak again.

"Y-you know, Hisao..."

"Yes?"

"I still want to go out with you. If it's okay with you, and if it's possible."

Before my thoughts are filled with fear over the result that happened the first time I said this... he snaps me out of it.

"Sure. Why not?"

And with that, the heaviest of my burdens, a burden I've been carrying ever since that incident, has been lifted. Right now, I don't want to go anywhere, except in Hisao's arms. The fireworks were, more or less, complimentary.
Last edited by Bacon Elemental on Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:31 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

this is the second Iwanako fanfic written today, what a coincidence OR IS IT?!
for a first fanfic it is quite good, not amazing, but a good start, it just seemed a bit unnatural in some points.
welcome to the forum, i will be keeping an eye for future fanfics from you
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by BlackWaltzTheThird »

You switch tense often; you should pick one tense and stick to it, with certain exceptions. It's disconcerting to read one paragraph in present tense and the next in past tense for no apparent reason. For instance, here;
Bacon Elemental wrote:I finally make my way to the gates of Yamaku Academy. It's a beautiful place, with lovely architecture and lush, open areas. The festival only accentuates its beauty. Although it's almost evening, the festivities don't seem to have died down. The academy grounds are bustling. Will I be able to find him in here, I wonder? Will I be too late?

I looked everywhere in the academy grounds and I found no Hisao Nakai. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. I hope I still have time to do another search in the grounds, since it's getting pretty late. I could also try looking for him in the main building. He just HAS to be somewhere. I wonder...
The content of your fic would best be presented in a present tense, so things like the first part there are what you should aim for all through your fic. Also, with the second choice, the search through the building and subsequent dismissal of Kenji are rather off. Iwanako has never been to the school before; she wouldn't know what or where things like the art room are. I'm pretty sure they'd be locked anyway. Perhaps it would be better for Iwanako to decide to go to the roof because it's a vantage point, and she might be able to spot him from above.

The ensuing discussion with Kenji and Hisao seems altogether too weird. Maybe something to the effect of the following would be better. Of course this shouldn't be added verbatim, and would definitely have accompanying prose.

"Hisao!" (Iwanako)
"What? Who's there?" (Kenji)
"Iwanako? What... what are you doing here?" (Hisao)
"Who's Iwanako?" (Kenji)
"I..." (Iwanako)
"Bro, is that... a girl?" (Kenji)
"I have to go. Later, Kenji." (Hisao)
*Prose about Kenji ranting as they depart which leads into the "How did you find me" talk.*

AND REMEMBER; stick to one tense only!
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Bacon Elemental »

Comrade wrote:this is the second Iwanako fanfic written today, what a coincidence OR IS IT?!
for a first fanfic it is quite good, not amazing, but a good start, it just seemed a bit unnatural in some points.
welcome to the forum, i will be keeping an eye for future fanfics from you
Purely coincidental. And better than mine :P I wanna know what parts seemed unnatural (besides Iwanako magically knowing everything in the academy despite never going there before) to you.
BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:You switch tense often; you should pick one tense and stick to it, with certain exceptions. It's disconcerting to read one paragraph in present tense and the next in past tense for no apparent reason. For instance, here;
Bacon Elemental wrote:I finally make my way to the gates of Yamaku Academy. It's a beautiful place, with lovely architecture and lush, open areas. The festival only accentuates its beauty. Although it's almost evening, the festivities don't seem to have died down. The academy grounds are bustling. Will I be able to find him in here, I wonder? Will I be too late?

I looked everywhere in the academy grounds and I found no Hisao Nakai. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. I hope I still have time to do another search in the grounds, since it's getting pretty late. I could also try looking for him in the main building. He just HAS to be somewhere. I wonder...
The content of your fic would best be presented in a present tense, so things like the first part there are what you should aim for all through your fic. Also, with the second choice, the search through the building and subsequent dismissal of Kenji are rather off. Iwanako has never been to the school before; she wouldn't know what or where things like the art room are. I'm pretty sure they'd be locked anyway. Perhaps it would be better for Iwanako to decide to go to the roof because it's a vantage point, and she might be able to spot him from above.

The ensuing discussion with Kenji and Hisao seems altogether too weird. Maybe something to the effect of the following would be better. Of course this shouldn't be added verbatim, and would definitely have accompanying prose.

"Hisao!" (Iwanako)
"What? Who's there?" (Kenji)
"Iwanako? What... what are you doing here?" (Hisao)
"Who's Iwanako?" (Kenji)
"I..." (Iwanako)
"Bro, is that... a girl?" (Kenji)
"I have to go. Later, Kenji." (Hisao)
*Prose about Kenji ranting as they depart which leads into the "How did you find me" talk.*

AND REMEMBER; stick to one tense only!
Wow, thanks a lot. Revisions to come later. :D I couldn't really decide on whether the present tense or the past tense made a better presentation of the story... and now when I think about it, it is better off in the present tense. I was having a hard time with past tenses. :oops:
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

the fact that iwanako knew exactly what to say to him was weired because you didn't really put any effort for a complex conflict.
anyway, i am not really good at writing fanfics (at least in english) so my critisism is not very deep.
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Well, it's like comrade said:
Iwanako hasn't seen Hisao in about three months, yet she somehow knows exactly what to say to him.
Also, though it is a one shot, some parts feel extremely rushed, for example:
"Please come with me!"
My resolve was firm. I had to do this.
"Okay. Hey Kenji, I'll cut this 'manly picnic' short. See ya, and good luck with that feminist organization or whatever."
What you could add there was some description of Hisao's reaction - him pausing for a while, seeming to think, his expression, anything. That would be much more interesting for the reader than Iwanako's resolve at this point.
Other than that: Good start, welcome to the forums.
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

i agree
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Bacon Elemental »

And... there. I've revised the entire thing, and I hope I didn't make more mistakes than I fixed. D:

My next fanfic will involve a trip to the arcades by Hisao, Misha and Shizune. Stay tuned :)
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Yes, definitely an improvement ;-)
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

much better, kinda want to see an Iwanako fan route, are you going to make a sequel to that?
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Bacon Elemental »

Mirage_GSM wrote:Yes, definitely an improvement ;-)
Comrade wrote:much better, kinda want to see an Iwanako fan route, are you going to make a sequel to that?
Thanks, you two. :D

Comrade, I've been thinking about making a fully-fleshed out Iwanako route. Maybe I'll do that once my writing improves and I get ideas on how to branch things out. Or something like that. I might use my one-shot on her as a starting point if I ever get to writing it, though.
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Bacon Elemental »

Here's a not-really-that-good attempt at a Shizune fic.

The Crane

And... just like that, I'm outside a shopping center here in downtown. Alongside me are Captain-Commander Admiral General Shizune Hakamichi and her trusty, bubbly companion, Drill Sergeant Shiina “Misha” Mikado. Apparently, we're here because of Student Council matters... if Student Council matters translate to 'watch them buy all sorts of things and carry their bags when they're done.' I can't believe that Misha hid that from me so well. Usually, she lets on more than she should, but she did a fine job in concealing their intentions this time around.

Either that or I'm just a ginormous idiot. I think it's the latter. Oh well.

We end up finishing a lot earlier than expected, and I am still awed by Shizune's efficiency in even the most mundane of tasks. Not even the easily-distracted Misha can slow her down. Then again, it's not like there are that many distractions for Misha when it comes to shopping.

I think of things at random, while at the same time, I wonder why those two suddenly ditc-

Hands. On my eyes.

They feel different, but somehow, the same. I raise my arms and sign, [Shizune.]

She takes her hands off my eyes. [Misha's idea. It would be too easy for you since we're the only people who do that.]

[I thought so. Speaking of which, where's Mi-]

My signing is immediately interrupted by a boisterous howl that reverberates throughout downtown. I think I heard glass crack after that. Must be my imagination.

“HIIIIIICCHAAAAAAANNNN~!”

Misha runs to our location. The downtown crowd gazes at us rather expectantly, like they were waiting for us to start a flash mob by dancing to a trendy dance tune. Unfortunately for them, we don't. Shizune takes notice that we're getting a number of looks from passersby and shrugs. Unmindful of the crowd, I respond with a simple “Yes, Misha?” I've gotten used to her volume. Somewhat.

“I was thinking that we could go somewhere since we finished our duties veeeery early~”

“You still consider them duties, eh?”

“Yup yup~”

I turn to Shizune. [Let's get some ice cream and then decide from there. It's hot today.]

Misha reads my signing and blurts out, “Okay~!”

Shizune nods in agreement as well.

We find an ice cream parlor nearby. Shizune finds us a nice spot while Misha and I order our desserts. I go for good old chocolate ice cream and I get Shizune something that appears to be a mix of raspberry, blueberry, and strawberry ice cream, complete with fruity bits, in one scoop. Misha, well... she's got one of those ridiculous parfaits again. I dare not ask what's in it.

While Shizune and I eat as 'properly' as possible, it's hard not to notice Misha's rather ravenous appetite and her approach to eating. Like she always does, Misha scoops up a bit of her concoction and points the spoon to me, “Fry ef, Hicshan~! If faysts beffer fan if rooks~!” Why not? Her experiments with food haven't always been failures.

Surprisingly, it's good. There's a good hint of watermelon in it.

After we finish our treats, we get right back on deciding what to do next. There's still a pretty good amount of time left before evening falls. Unfortunately, it's a lot harder than it sounds. We don't come up with anything for a good five minutes.

Zing. I come up with something, even though it's not the best suggestion.

[We could try going to the arcades.]

“That's a great idea, Hicchan~! Yay, yay~ we're going to the arcades~”

Misha's certainly upbeat. Shizune doesn't object, and so, we're off.

Wow. The arcade here is a harmonious mix of new-school technology and silly old-school fun. It's got the classic button-and-stick beat-em-ups, light gun shooters, whack-a-moles and that sort of thing. There's also a pretty good amount of musical games. They've also got an assortment of racing game cabinets, the most prominent being 4 new cabinets for something called Maximum Tune 4. Hmm. Sounds interesting.

At first, the atmosphere doesn't bother Shizune, but doesn't generate much interest in her either. She's probably just not used to this kind of establishment. Misha's darting all over the place, eyeing over every flash that goes off, accompanied by cheery oohs and aahs.

We fool around, playing the occasional game here and there. Eventually, Shizune tries to join in games that, in her book, don't involve 'luck' and she always beats me whenever she can. If Misha's not beaming after her games, she's giggling at my losses. Overall, we have a good time.

Suddenly, I feel a heavy tug. It's Misha. She must've discovered the Holy Grail... nah, she just found a crane game. Misha probes over the machine, as if looking for a specific object. Finally, she turns to me.

“Hicchan~, can you get me that penguin over there?”

She lets out a toothy grin.

I sign to Shizune. [You think you can get that stuffed penguin over there? You're better at these things.]

She lets out her usual glasses-adjusting confident smile. [No problem.]

We then watch expectantly as Shizune starts to become one with the crane. Be the crane, Shizune. Be the crane.

On her first try, she manages to align the crane with the plushie perfectly. Heh. As expected of her. After she presses the 'grab' button, the crane's claw grabs hold of the plushie, as if ready to be paradropped... and then the plushie slips from the claw's evil clutches.

She turns to me with a quizzical look and signs. [That's not right. I was pretty sure I nailed the position perfectly.]

[Try again.]

Misha tries hard to stifle her laughter.

And so, Shizune tries again, this time with a bit more concentration on her face. The claw opens up and grabs hold of the plushie. All right, you got it! Looks like the second try will be- plop.

Nope.

Maybe the third time's a cha- plop.

Nada.

Shizune's in to it now. Her eyes are fixated to the plush toy, and her concentration levels are through the roof. I think she's really going to get it this time... nope. The penguin eludes her grasp again. She lets out a really heavy sigh, quickly turns to me and starts slicing the air, [What the hell?]

I try my best not to laugh, but my lips don't want to obey me as they quiver and curl. Misha slaps my shoulder, laughing pretty hard now. Thankfully, the sounds of the arcade drown out her laughter and nobody pays us any mind.

Shizune turns back to the machine and lets out a deep breath. Yes, Shizune. Just like that. Focus. Be the crane. Find peace within your heart. Calm your mind. Achieve your zen. Eye of the tiger... ah, whatever! Just grab that sonuvabitch and claw him like he's never been clawed before! Go get 'em!

I think I overdid my unintentionally telepathic pep talk. She seems to have gotten the message in my thoughts. The air around her looks like it's shimmering. This. Is. Intense. Wait, it's just a crane game. Why the heck am I so endeared by this concentration? Whatever. I have to witness this.

She slowly positions the crane to the location of the plush penguin. She double-checks, triple-checks. Everything seems to be A-OK. The claw finally opens up and descends, ready to clutch its prey. Here it comes. The moment of truth.

*TAP*

The button is pressed. The claw grabs hold of the plushie and starts to rise. The plushie doesn't move, appearing to have submitted to Shizune's will. It starts moving to the chute. Oh my God. Oh my God. I think she's done it. Here it comes. All the blood, sweat, and tears that have been poured into the acquisition of this artifact have finally paid off, and-

Plop.

Shizune turns to us, her face in disbelief. Misha and I turn to each other. “Pfft... pff-WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~! WAHAHA – WAHA – my sides – HAHAHAHAHA~!”

Misha and I laugh to our heart's content at the expense of Shizune. Oh boy. Smoke's coming out of her ears now, or so I think. As if suddenly mastering the Hundred Crack Fist of the North Star, she lets her hands go, flailing around and letting every profanity she could think of be heard through her signages. I catch the last thing she signs before she crosses her arms in frustration: [Let's see you do it, smartass.]

I smirk. [With pleasure.]

After one last giggle, I approach the crane game, the plush penguin still in there. “Be the crane, Hisao,” I mutter. Hopefully my self-pep talk will work this time around. I press the button and hope for the best.

It's not a perfect catch, but the claw manages to grab a hold of the plushie. I don't think it's going to last long... or is it? Oh my God. I don't believe this. It's making its way to the chute... come on, come on, come on, just a little more...

YES!

By unknown forces of nature, the plushie drops down into the chute. I pick the penguin up and give it to Misha, whose eyes turn into golden saucers of bright, bubbly and unabashed glee. She gives off a wide, radiant smile and a... OHMYGODBEARHUG!

She then realizes that I might actually die from this, and lets go. She then hops and skips around and with that wide grin of hers, exclaims, “Yay~ Yaaaaaay~ Thank you thank you thank you thank you, Hicchan~!”

It takes me a few seconds to catch my breath. “Anytime, Misha. But dang, that was a killer hug!”

We exchange laughs... and then notice Shizune's rather unchanged expression.

Misha takes a moment to cheer her up. [That's alright Shicchan! You did your best!]

Shizune smiles a bit, seeing the joy in her best friend's eyes. We leave shortly after.

Misha walks with a proud gait, plushie in one hand, a shopping bag in another. Shizune and I are just behind her. She then gives me a light punch in the arm.

[What is it?]

[How did you-]

I cut her off. [Luck.]

[Luck?]

[Yeah.]

[Screw you.]
Last edited by Bacon Elemental on Thu Apr 04, 2013 3:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Comrade
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

Damn you crane!
ok, i have some things to say, the Gangam style refrence was stupid considering KS takes place in 2007, and Psy's hit is from 2012.
Bacon Elemental wrote: “HIIIIIICCHAAAAAAANNNN~!”
Misha runs to our location. The downtown crowd gazes at us rather expectantly, like they were waiting for us to start a flash mob by dancing to Gangnam Style or some other dance tune. Unfortunately for them, we don't. Shizune only responds with a hand in her face,
how did Shizune hear that?
now about the possible Iwanako route, i suggest that before you try anything big, keep expirimenting with the one-shots and get a solid idea of how you want things to work out.
I think that shizune won't fit in an arcade, maybe misha, aside from that it was good.
Founder and cheif librarian ofThe Yamaku Library, A Fan Fiction Archive
Vice president of the Yamaku Book Club
Sea wrote:Comrade, as Khan Bek has convinced me to give Democracy a try.
"French are just Spanish Germans, therefore Mexicans."
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Bacon Elemental
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Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Bacon Elemental »

Aaaaaaaaand those little oversights are now corrected.

And yeah, Shizune probably wouldn't fit in an arcade, but I figured she'd be the best person to be put in a situation like that. :D
Comrade
Posts: 1230
Joined: Wed Dec 12, 2012 9:29 am
Location: Micheal Levi's lyre is real good yo

Re: A Possible One-Shot Collection

Post by Comrade »

I think I know how most crane games work, there's a computer inside, I think you
Can hack it If you open the machine, the computer determines a number, like five and every 5th person wins.
It is a cheap way of getting money, and no mAtter how skilled you are you won't win.
The only way to win is either to be lucky or study the pattern.
Hopefully you find that information helpfull
Founder and cheif librarian ofThe Yamaku Library, A Fan Fiction Archive
Vice president of the Yamaku Book Club
Sea wrote:Comrade, as Khan Bek has convinced me to give Democracy a try.
"French are just Spanish Germans, therefore Mexicans."
An American, 2014
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