Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Kutagh]

Reksho; I understand where you're coming from.

It's true that you cannot just trust the advice we give but I have a different reasoning behind it. The issue is that we are anonymous people on Internet whom don't know you... So you don't have a way to know who's reliable, honest... However, you don't necessarily need someone with prior experience. When you have an infection, you talk to your gp. He or she is trained to diagnose you and to help you getting cured. Your gp also has a dossier and knows your medical history. He or she is much better suited to cure you than your mother, no matter how well meant your mothers attempts might be.

This is why Beoran and I tend to recommend professional help when we see someone who is having trouble with his mind. He or she can see much more, the body language for example, as well as a good knowledge to draw on in order to help you. They're also accountable unlike us so you can generally trust them on being serious about trying to help you.

[Haychee]

<snip>

Bro, I'm not one for understanding people on an emotional level, nor am I particularly sympathetic in that respect, but I noticed the thing about somniphobia and it struck a lightning bolt into my head. See, you wrote about how reading Rin's route got you back into art, etc, so perhaps a similar thing can happen for you in regards to your somniphobia. "What," you say, "there's no route about somniphobia!" Well, no, but something close can be found here, courtesy of Scissorlips. Given the effect Rin's route had, perhaps this can help you with your somniphobia. Best of luck with everything, man.

Firstly, thanks for a reply to what I posted

Secondly, thanks for the referral to the Suzu route fanfic, I've read Act 1 so far and it is very interesting. I love the idea of playing Battleship with Death himself. I have no idea if it will affect my somniphobia, but I'll just have to wait and see.

[Reksho]

However, you don't necessarily need someone with prior experience.

Yes, I also think that's the case. I think it's just a matter of being able to trust the advice more based on the experience of the person behind the advice. A rule of thumb, if you will. An advice can be just as good from someone without experience as from someone with tons of them.

It's just easier to trust the advice from the more experienced person on the surface. It is a bit shallow, I suppose, but I guess that's how human reasoning works at the core level.

[Pyramid Head]

Been gone for a little while but it's officially time to start hauling ass on my fanfiction here. Jah help me with my co-writer...

Holy shit. Thought you died.

@Haychee: ...Nothing to say helpful except offer my support.

You thought or you hoped?

[Shadowyeclipse]

Welp, I have to write this because I literally cannot sleep unless I do.

I'm having HUGE annoyance with Hanako's path. Don't get me wrong, I love Hanako, and I think her path is the best, if not on par with Lily's.

But something that ALWAYS annoyed me: I got the not-so-good ending instead of the actual good ending. Not the bad one, the not-so-good.
Why does this annoy me so much? She is the character I feel most attracted towards as a player, and she is the ONLY one I've botched on my first try. I've done EVERY other girl's route, (Except for Rin, trying to finish her route...) perfectly, and yet I could not give a rat's ass about it. All I want is to have done Hanako's route perfectly the first time.

Now, someone summarized the routes in another thread that actually made me realize something: I'm not attracted to Hanako as a character because of a white-knight desire, or as an excuse to save the shy girl, but as an attempt to finally be able to deduce more than what I can see. Hanako's route is essentially noticing the smaller details, trying to see more than what you understand, something like that. And the problem I have with this, is that I am so hopelessly thick I can't stand it. In any sort of game, I am always aggressive in my choices, and I never really sit down and think about the circumstances or consequences of the choices I make. Not only does this have to do with botching up Hanako's path because I could not recognize she was stronger than she actually looks, this comes into play with my life greatly. I'm not attracted to her path for normal reasons, I'm attracted to her path because it's the one thing that I cannot beat, the one realization that I am honestly hopeless when it comes to the big picture, to thinking ahead.

This made me sit down and think, at 2 AM, if in a way, this Virtual Novel has shown me exactly what is wrong with me, and why my life is the way it is. And the more I think about it, the more likely it seems. I am hopelessly blunt, prude, and in overall, an anxious wreck. I try to hide this with some sort of steely determination, that if I pick a path, that if I recognize something, it might, might be right. I can't recognize the big picture, the real purpose behind anything.

My own (Ex) girlfriend had to nearly hold my hand in most things we did, because I was too afraid or too dumb to realize the real purpose of what she did most of the time, to try and reach out to me in some way. If I realized these small gestures she took, the fact that she was tired of my single-mindedness, I might have saved the relationship.

Gah, I'm rambling, likely as I am tired, annoyed, upset, and shaking for some reason, making it hard to type.

It's not the fact that I failed Hanako's path that annoys me. It's that I failed her path because of the reason I fail a relationship with most people. I can't see the smaller details, and I can never figure my way around social interactions. I could never confront anyone, and I wish it was because of a "nice" nature, or gentle demeanor. It's because honestly, I am as thick as a brick wall, and about as intelligent when it comes to reading people, when it comes to talking to them and saying and doing the right things. I was so afraid of actually kissing my girlfriend at times, despite how many of my friends actually told me to just man up and do it, to the point of where one of them heavily hinted that it was not just because of a good hunch.

It's just... this pisses me off to no end, because I STILL can't get my mind around what I'm even typing down, I'm too opaque to try and read into what even I say at times, much less what other people infer to, or try to communicate with body language. I've never realized this, which cements the idea in my mind even further, well, until I read what someone else analyzed of Hanako's route.

I also think this is the reason that I pursue so many of these games, where you choose your choices, your opinion matters, because I could sometimes decipher what was going on, but I could never understand the full scale.

This is my problem. And I'm sorry if it is a huge, ugly, garbled mess, which it probably is. I'm only writing this on here by the chance someone might respond, though I doubt it. Writing this might take a load off my chest, though I do expect tonight to be sleepless as I think about how many other times I fucked up with how dim I am. In a way, I hate my own ugly features as much as Hanako does. She, her scars, me, my inability to do... what, exactly?

[Pseudogenesis]

Been gone for a little while but it's officially time to start hauling ass on my fanfiction here. Jah help me with my co-writer...

Holy shit. Thought you died.

@Haychee: ...Nothing to say helpful except offer my support.

You thought or you hoped?

Stop being so morbid and play Silent Hill.

[Pyramid Head]

Stop being so morbid and play Silent Hill.

My PS2 is DEEEEEEEEEAD!!

[Beoran]

Shadowyeclipse, thanks for your story.

IRelations and communications with other people can be hard. I also have some problems like that. But now you have realized that the approach you had before simply isn't working. You may be angry, but, actually, it's good that you realized it. Now, you can start working on finding a better approach. Hindsight is 20/20 but the fact that you only realized what was up when playing KS means that before your mind wasn't ready for it, and KS was just the thing to make you realize what was going wrong. So don't blame yourself for the past. Look at the future and try to improve that, step by step. So will I.

[Auratus]

Sorry. If this post looks like a spam. I want to helps some here but I think I am not in position to give any actual help that could get rid of anyone's problem.
I think I have to clarify my request about anti-depression advice. I just want first-aid that would mitigate it even that can't cure it completely. Some basic thing to boost confidence and more or less give anyone a step back from their problem.

@Haychee. You better not worry about your past. You are being you who reading my post because you done that. Memory is what made us to be us, but worrying about it isn't. Past is passed and you cannot change it even you have a time-machine and alter it (which IMO will cause some space-time paradox and might destroy the universe) This very moment is only time that matter as you can and inevitably have to make what you'll be in future. If you decide to stand up as you read here. You will end up standing in next second which you would not (and likely not) if you still sitting. I want to say that you can change your future even it doesn't look like you could. I don't think I could make such a inspirational comment that make you decided to become a better person. But I hope this comment would help you more or less.

...and I think you are too young to give up in love. There are someone at somewhere who will answer what you ask for. You might just not meet her yet... or perhap didn't realize she is someone. (but don't be too passionate about love. It do more harm than good.)

[kbk]

@ Shadowyeclipse

It sounds like you might be a bit self-absorbed, like me. I've had some trouble when it comes to reading other people and gauging their intentions and for a while there I was at a loss as to why I couldn't grasp these seemingly simple concepts. After my latest unsatisfying relationship I put the brakes on finding someone new because I was a bit tired of how things are going, so I became introspective and found out that I'm usually in my own world when I should be paying attention to others (amazing that I learned this by becoming more self-absorbed). This is what I mean by self-absorbed (it can mean selfish) but in this instance it sounds like you are maybe inside your own head too much, take some time to decompress and learn from the mistakes you make. I may be off the mark, but thats what it looks like to me.

[Xanatos]

Been gone for a little while but it's officially time to start hauling ass on my fanfiction here. Jah help me with my co-writer...

Holy shit. Thought you died.

@Haychee: ...Nothing to say helpful except offer my support.

You thought or you hoped?

Can it be both?

[BlackWaltzTheThird]

...and I think you are too young to give up in love. There are someone at somewhere who will answer what you ask for. You might just not meet her yet... or perhap didn't realize she is someone. (but don't be too passionate about love. It do more harm than good.)

For evidence of this, see my Uncle. He had one long term partner which he split with when I was a kid, and then was alone for a good ten years. Then, three years ago, on a holiday in Ireland, he met a lovely Irish woman by the name of Angela, with whom he began a long distance relationship, eventually married, and now lives in with Ireland with their baby. They are both in their late 40s. You're never too old for love.

[Xanatos]

...and I think you are too young to give up in love. There are someone at somewhere who will answer what you ask for. You might just not meet her yet... or perhap didn't realize she is someone. (but don't be too passionate about love. It do more harm than good.)

For evidence of this, see my Uncle. He had one long term partner which he split with when I was a kid, and then was alone for a good ten years. Then, three years ago, on a holiday in Ireland, he met a lovely Irish woman by the name of Angela, with whom he began a long distance relationship, eventually married, and now lives in with Ireland with their baby. They are both in their late 40s. You're never too old for love.

So we just need to take more holidays in Ireland...

[Unforgiven]

Something is happening but before I tell what it is let me tell a bit more about myself.

When I was about 10-years old my parents divorced. I didn't feel like it affected me too much back then, but now that I think back, it really changed me. I remember being really aggressive. In 4th and 5th grade there was this kid, and I think I was actually bullying him. And I feel really bad for it. I didn't have too many friends back then, except one. I met him when I was about 6-years old, and we are still friends. Anyway, what im trying to say is that my parents divorce made me.. i dunno.. I can't find a right word for it, but let's just say really messed up. So now, I live with my mother (im 16). I still see my dad during weekends. Both of them have new families. My dad and his new wife have a child (my little sister) and I really love her. With high school and everything, my life now is really good.

But yesterday my dad told me that he and my step-mom are getting a divorce. And now that I told how my parents divorce affected me... I'm afraid it will have similar effects on my little sister. I have always been kinda protective about my siblings (I also have little brother). I really don't know how to deal with this, I want to protect or help my sister. But I don't know if I can. I don't know, i'm just really confused.

[Reksho]

Something is happening but before I tell what it is let me tell a bit more about myself.

When I was about 10-years old my parents divorced. I didn't feel like it affected me too much back then, but now that I think back, it really changed me. I remember being really aggressive. In 4th and 5th grade there was this kid, and I think I was actually bullying him. And I feel really bad for it. I didn't have too many friends back then, except one. I met him when I was about 6-years old, and we are still friends. Anyway, what im trying to say is that my parents divorce made me.. i dunno.. I can't find a right word for it, but let's just say really messed up. So now, I live with my mother (im 16). I still see my dad during weekends. Both of them have new families. My dad and his new wife have a child (my little sister) and I really love her. With high school and everything, my life now is really good.

But yesterday my dad told me that he and my step-mom are getting a divorce. And now that I told how my parents divorce affected me... I'm afraid it will have similar effects on my little sister. I have always been kinda protective about my siblings (I also have little brother). I really don't know how to deal with this, I want to protect or help my sister. But I don't know if I can. I don't know, i'm just really confused.

Just be there for her. A divorce is something between two individuals and should not affect the others around them. Of course, this is never the case as everyone around them will feel the effects of the divorce, especially the children. But it need not to have such a negative effect on your sister if she knows there is someone on her side that she can depend on. Someone she can talk openly to and casually play with. I don't know how old your little sister is but young children tend not to display negativity about something like a divorce because they're just trying to live their life the best they can in their own simpler way. But this doesn't mean it doesn't bother them. As you say, it can affect you and come out in a way you're not consciously aware of (like your bullying).

My parents divorced when I was 15 and I didn't particularly care because I saw it coming and didn't think of them as a compatible couple anyway. My sister is 2 years younger than me and she was clearly having a hard time with it but managed to pull through because of her surrounding support. Support other than of her parents because no matter how good their intentions may be, they are the source of the problem. So just be there for her man.