Hanako's Broken Heart Club

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rosemarie-chan
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by rosemarie-chan »

@Nyzer:
The thing is, I prefer it this way, when the hope is gone. How to explain... I suppose you could say that I would tend to feel nervous or anxious when I had to go to a gathering of people, or when meeting someone new, or so on and so forth. Just any sort of event that involves interacting with people when something about the whole thing is unfamiliar. Or even when there isn't something completely unfamiliar... Family events were unsettling, too.
I used to go anyway. You know, "well, it's probably healthier than just staying home alone" or "I don't want to look back on this and regret not doing it". I'd usually feel somewhat unsettled the whole time. It would always be stressful just because I'd worry to an insane degree on what people will think of me, I think?
I can find myself in every word of these sentences. I get pretty nervous inside when I say something to people except my close family so I have to pass it throught my mind a lot of times. What will they think of me if I say/do that? Will they feel uncomfortable/offended etc.? To be honest, I have been like this since I remember myself. And then I realized that I should let myself relax a little. I couldn't really make it happen, until I realized that there were people with whom I was more easily myself. and I have been hanging out with them. That doesn't mean that I am completely relaxed around them, but throught the years I have been fighting my nervousness and it worked to some degree.

And when I have the chance to go somewhere else than home, I almost always say yes, not because I know that I am going to have some great time, but because I want to experience as much as I can. Even when I am bored, I will give it a chance. It may be a big mistake, I may have the worst time of my life, but nobody can guarantee me that it's not going to be a great experience.

I also sometimes prefer being alone. well, most of the times when I can. In the school bus, I would avoid talking to the one sitting next to me, and I would just listen to music. I know this is not a great example, there are bigger ones but they need some explaining so I am kind of bored to mention them. :lol: I enjoy being alone at some times, but I still say yes whenever I can to stop doing the same thing (sitting in my house for example; I can do that whenever I want anyway).

However, if you think that you enjoy life better the way you live it now, and disliked other experiences, I think the answer is obvious: do whatever makes you happier. That is, in my opinion, the point of our lives. Even if the society does not accept your way of living/your actions, it's better to live the way you like your life, unless of course you disturb other people with the way you are living. Do you know what society would think about me if it learnt that I enjoy playing a game in which I date other girls or that I watch "cartoons"(anime)? I don't really care. This is how I like living my life. I don't disturb other people, so I will continue doing that. Similarly, if you enjoy being a loner more than socializing with other people, I don't find any reason you should change that.

@Beoran: kind of embarrassed to admit, but I had this wide smile in my face when you mentioned Lilly; she is mai waifu. :D
You are right, and believe me, I don't get offended easily so that wasn't harsh at all. Concerning the pleasure of receiving; I receive friendship, support, concern. I know that most of the people won't give me anything in return and I don't actually expect them to, that is not my point after all, but I am okay with the few people who will honestly help me when I need it. That best friend I had, she gave me the feeling that she would be there for me, and that every day we would enjoy ourselves. Well, we did. But the most important was that I felt she would always stand up for me like she always did, even though I would not really show it when I needed some support, and she would always see throught me and understand me. And that was more than enough. I may present myself as the white knight, but if there is anyone that sees throught me and understands that this is just an image, I can realize that this person is not like everyone else. :)

@Keneshiro: I already know how selfish and hypocrites people can be, but I give everyone a chanse. If you respect someone, they will respect you back. If not, they are not worth respected. And if I get fooled by someone I thought was a friend, well, I will move on. I am already kind of guarded around other people in my own ways, and, to be honest, being cynical is a trait of my true personality (as a result of growing up in the country I did). But I don't really like that, so I don't show it that much. i just keep it to myself.
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Unforgiven
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Unforgiven »

Someone might remember that my first post here was about me being nervous about high school. Well... Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I'm really nervous, I hope I can get some sleep. It's late so i'm gonna keep this short.
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OtakuNinja
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by OtakuNinja »

Unforgiven wrote:Someone might remember that my first post here was about me being nervous about high school. Well... Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I'm really nervous, I hope I can get some sleep. It's late so i'm gonna keep this short.
High school isn't all that bad. Just make a good first impression and there you have it. :)
Just because I failed at it, doesn't mean you will. ;)
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Helbereth
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Helbereth »

Unforgiven wrote:Someone might remember that my first post here was about me being nervous about high school. Well... Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I'm really nervous, I hope I can get some sleep. It's late so i'm gonna keep this short.
I had no idea school started this early anywhere... can't speak for other countries, though, I guess. In any case, good luck; I'd offer some supportive platitudes, but that would be hypocritical considering my checkered past concerning school in general.

Maybe it's like going for a walk in the woods, though. Don't be afraid of the animals, they're probably just as frightened of you. Yes, I just called high-school kids animals, and I'm happy with the simile.

Sorry, I'm not the best person to ask for advice about dealing with school, and I'm probably not helping; I'll stop.
Nyzer
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Nyzer »

Actually, school starts that early in some of the States, as I recall.

I dunno what advice I could give on starting high school. Mine was pretty mild. No bullying, no "cliques" (people hung out with their friends, but that's all it was, really), no gangs, the worst drug that anyone there did was pot (and I never saw that happen on school grounds)... Everybody did their own thing, pulled friendly pranks here and there, and there really wasn't any drama at all. Honestly, elementary school was a lot more vicious.
All you really need to know is that there's a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning. I wish I could make something like that up; it shoots shurikens and lightning.
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Gandara
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Gandara »

Unforgiven wrote:Someone might remember that my first post here was about me being nervous about high school. Well... Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I'm really nervous, I hope I can get some sleep. It's late so i'm gonna keep this short.
The trick to high school is to kick someone's ass the first day, or become someone's bitch.

Kidding aside, nothing to be nervous about. The biggest thing is to just be yourself. Don't try to act like something you're not, because those first impressions are important. You'll find some friends, you'll make some connections and you'll have a good time with your school experience.
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"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies." - Andy Dufresne, "The Shawshank Redemption"
Xanatos
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Xanatos »

Unforgiven wrote:Someone might remember that my first post here was about me being nervous about high school. Well... Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I'm really nervous, I hope I can get some sleep. It's late so i'm gonna keep this short.
Good luck with it. You're bound to do better than I did. :lol:
<KeiichiO>: "I wonder what Misha's WAHAHA's sound like with a cock stuffed down her throat..."
<Ascension>: "I laughed, cried, vomited in my mouth a little, and even had time for marshmallows afterwards. Well played, Xanatos. Well played."
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Pseudogenesis
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Pseudogenesis »

You know all those old movies you watch about jocks and getting your head dunked in a toilet on your first day? Yeah that's a lot of bullshit. High school is ten times better than middle school, mainly because people are (slightly) more mature. Don't worry about it.
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Xanatos
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Xanatos »

Pseudogenesis wrote:You know all those old movies you watch about jocks and getting your head dunked in a toilet on your first day? Yeah that's a lot of bullshit. High school is ten times better than middle school, mainly because people are (slightly) more mature. Don't worry about it.
Ironically, I dealt with more of that sort of bullshit in every level prior to high school. By high school, I was decidedly too incapable of proper socialization and relationships (and embittered by all previous failings and peer abuse) to bother trying and just wandered past such nonsense when it attempted to start. My high school years can basically be summed up in a series of depressive states leading to extensive bouts of self-loathing, and numerous failed attempts at connecting with other people that only spiraled me right back into yet another depressive state time and again. All of which eventually culminated in a breakdown in...I think it was my second senior year. I failed the first by a few classes due to depression-induced apathy. Almost failed the second due to increasing escapism into books. The breakdown happened when my books were taken away one day...It was pretty bad. Seemed to amuse my peers though, which did nothing to improve my impressions of the people I was forced to be around.

Cue another downward spiral, this one much worse than previous ones, and I basically shut down. Coasted through classes taking naps and delving back into books until the one of the principals grew impatient (she rather obviously hated me and didn't want me around, though she denied it despite myself, my father, and various staff picking up on it) and arranged a custom schedule of a school day beginning at noon and lasting two hours per day (I only needed a few classes to pass), with accommodations to bring an ipod to class and work online to be away from people. Graduated in two months with that arrangement. Granted, for one of those classes, I ended up using answer sheets for everything because some genius decided to assign some advanced sort of math that even the teachers couldn't grasp enough to help me complete it.

And just as a point of trivia, in my school, seniors liked to egg the freshmen...This, again, did utterly nothing to improve my damaged condition upon arriving there for my freshman year. As a senior myself, I ignored the whole spectacle, only deigning to occasionally pick an egg from a carton and smash it into the face of some harassing senior prick on my way past, coupled with a quick quip to make them feel terrible and inadequate about their lives.

*My high school years were a total goddamn mess but also an uncommonly wretched experience due to judgmental redneck peers and years of complicated and deep-rooted damages, and should not deter anyone from enjoying their own experiences in such a setting.
<KeiichiO>: "I wonder what Misha's WAHAHA's sound like with a cock stuffed down her throat..."
<Ascension>: "I laughed, cried, vomited in my mouth a little, and even had time for marshmallows afterwards. Well played, Xanatos. Well played."
<KeiichiO>: "That's a beautiful response to chocolate."
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Helbereth
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Helbereth »

Well, not to lay a heap of shit on the thread, but, late last night my mom went to bed early (yeah, she usually stays up 'til 3am or later), complaining of stomach pain. Less than an hour later, after she couldn't sleep and kept groaning uncontrollably, my dad awoke and they decided to head for the hospital.

A few hours later, Dad returned home having left Mom in the ER where she was awaiting tests. Early indications point to food poisoning or something equally innocuous, but having had issues in the past -including 3 surgeries for different ailments around her abdomen- we're suitably concerned that it might be something more serious.

Fingers crossed, I hope it's just a bad peach or salad resulting in the nausea, pain and vomiting, but I'm worried enough that I can't sleep - big surprise there. For now, all I can really do is fight back this headache and wait.
Exbando
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Exbando »

@Unforgiven: High school isn't all that bad, but if you're worried about bullies or something, just don't make it too obvious that you're a freshman. It'll come in handy if your school has "Freshman Friday" like mine did. But I don't know what your school is like, so I don't how the seniors act compared to the freshman.

@Helbereth: I hope everything is okay with your mom. If you want to talk while you're awake or something, I'll be online for about another hour or so, so you can PM me if you want.
Hanako > Lilly = Emi > Shizune > Rin
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Helbereth
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Helbereth »

Hmm, well, after a battery of blood tests, a cat scan and a lot of poking and prodding, they didn't find anything wrong. Whatever it was, it was very painful, enough to warrant the trip, but seems to have been short-lived. I'm relieved, but still perplexed.

She's had 'belly issues' for years, so I suspect there's an intermittent cause for the discomfort, but they weren't able to find anything any more abnormal than some swollen lymph-nodes. Already back home, she basically lost the whole night of sleep, along with the rest of us, but is otherwise back to normal - or what passes for normal where she's concerned.
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Unforgiven
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Unforgiven »

Well, the first day of high school is over. It wasn't really that special. I was really nervous first, but soon after meeting some of my old classmates it was good. Only bad thing about it is that it's gonna be a lot more work than middle school.
Nyzer
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by Nyzer »

Food poisoning can be painful enough. I didn't see the doctor myself, but I assume that it's what I had at the time - my body deciding to evacuate all solids from it in any way possible, until I was able to spend much of the night dry-heaving and cursing the fact that I couldn't sleep because my sore stomach couldn't take the pain that the force of gravity was causing.

Skipped two days of work after that. The third day, I tried to work but I kinda shuffled around zombie-like after a few hours in. Managed to last to the end of the day, though, and then it was the weekend...
All you really need to know is that there's a gun that shoots shurikens and lightning. I wish I could make something like that up; it shoots shurikens and lightning.
gragon
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Re: Hanako's Broken Heart Club

Post by gragon »

well i fucked up my first year of highschool by being the bully and still if you try hard to get to know people they will eventualy exept you. and if they dont they are not worth talking too. (you proberly dont have anything in common to talk about) and there are always douches and bitches. just ignore them or punch em in the face... like i did wen i was in my first years of middle school
''Bear with the pain,but dont admit to it either'' ''climb the tree of problems and eat the apple of succes''
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