'Sweet Dreams'

[Amadeous]

Hey, first time writing a story for here...or ever for that matter...so forgive me if it just plain sucks. This'll be Hisao/Hanako with nosex.

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My feet grazed across the blue skys, dashing though endless wonders. The sky through which I soared was a beautiful blue color with serene clouds that blazed past. It was almost like I could feel all my anger and fear drift away with those same clouds, flying through endless ecstasy.

Knock...

I tripped through the skies, and a sharp noise disturbed my rhythm. I could feel myself falling, and I started to grasp at the rapidly shrinking clouds.

Knock knock knock...

I fell faster and faster towards the ground. It couldn't be happening...I'm gonna di-

I bolted upright from my bed. So it was just a dream. I hate those dreams, with the sense of falling. And what was that knocking anyway?

...knock...

Oh, right. I have a door. My eyes, still attuned to the darkness, struggled to make out the shining red numbers on my clock across the room. As far as I could tell, it was sometime after 1 in the morning. Or 4. Who's waking me up at this forsaken hour? Probably Kenji, forgetting that normal people need sleep too.

"H-Hisao...?"

I hear faint whispering from my door, with another quiet knock. Definitely not Kenji, he's far too boisterous for this. I recognize the voice, but my mind, still cluttered with the fog of sleep can't attach it to a face. I rush as fast as my still-asleep body will allow out of my bed, and stumble towards my door. I slowly open it to give the person behind it time to move, and my eyes grasp for the few photons in the nighttime halls. I can see the faint silhouette of a girl, clutching a blanket that's wrapped over her to protect her from the cold. Her hair was smooth and fell over half of her face, and my mind started to connect the dots.

"Hanako? Issat you?" I guess. My suspicions were proven correct when she responded with a shy nod and let out a muffled yes. As my eyes readjusted to the low light, I could clearly see her. Hanako was indeed standing in my doorway, holding a light blanket. Her hair was disheveled from tossing and turning in her sleep, and she only managed to smooth the hair to cover her scarred right side. Seeing her out of uniform was also surprising; instead she wore loose pajamas with a purple tint, but long enough to cover her entire body.

My mind started asking questions, piqued by these new events. Curfew was hours ago, how did she manage to get into the boy's dorms without being caught? More to the point, why? I sighed. "Well, come on in before someone finds you here." I stood to the side of my door and let her in. I slowly shut the door behind me, and voiced my concerns. "What are you doing here? You should be in your own room." I came off rather bitterly, still annoyed to be woken.

Hanako's eyes started to well up and she clutched her blanket tighter. Damn, didn't mean to come off angry. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she managed to cut me off. "I..."

"I what?" I thought to myself, but let her continue.

"I...Ihadabaddream..." Hanako rapidly spat out, then blushed at her childishness, and looked down onto her feet like she had done something wrong.

"Ah...No, that's okay." I reassured her. For what, I'm not sure. It just raised more questions. Why didn't she just go to Lilly's room? Maybe she's just starting to trust and rely on me more? Enough to risk being caught by night patrols?

Poor girl's dream must have been terrifying to push her this far.

"Can...Can I stay in your room...tonight?" Hanako blushed even fiercer now, but didn't lift her gaze from the ground. I could feel heat rush into my face, and silently thanked Hanako for not looking up. Not exactly what I expected, I'll admit, but it's not unwanted.

"Sure...just let me get an extra pillow and blanket for myself." I crossed my room and reached into my closet and pulled out my spare bedsheets. I neatly them out on the floor by my bed, where Hanako had already perched herself, still wrapped in her blanket. "Good night." I said as I lay down. I didn't plan to fall asleep though. Now that I was awake how could I? Hanako was right next to me, in my room and all I knew why is that she had a bad dream. It was a rather pitiful excuse really. It was then, at least ten minutes later, that Hanako started to stir. I could hear rustling of covers and soon my floorboards started creaking with footsteps. Before I could roll over, Hanako was already curled up behind me and holding herself close. I could feel her body heat on my back, she must be blushing like mad. And I sure as hell couldn't sleep like this.

"Hanako, are you okay?" I rolled over, now nearly touching Hanako's face with my own. She quickly sat up and stifled a yelp, clearly thinking I had fallen asleep.

"I'msorryIdidn'tmeantoIjust-" I covered her mouth for her and made a shush to quiet her. No use waking up the whole dorm, much less Kenji. I let her talk again, hoping she'd calm down. "I...had a really, really bad dream and I'm just...so...scared..." Her speech was cut through thick sobs. Damn, her dream must have really freaked her out to make her like this. I started to curse myself for bringing it up. Perhaps her dream was about the accident that scarred her. I've heard stories of people recalling tragic events in dreams. Even recently I've had dreams of darkness, feeling like I can't breathe.

"It's okay." I sympathized with her to calm her down. Without thinking, my body decided to start moving on its own and I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her into my chest. I could feel her blushing against my me, and I started blushing too. I could feel my heart's palpitations in my ribs, and let Hanako loose a little bit.

"It's okay Hanako." I repeated. Her own arms wrapped around me to bring herself in closer. I could feel hot tears come against my chest, and it drove me mad to know she was crying. I couldn't stand it.

"I'll make sure you don't get any more bad dreams."

"Hisao...thanks..." Hanako trailed off, and rest her head back onto my chest. I lay down and she followed on top of me, falling asleep almost instantly. I attempted to rationalize what just happened. Well for one, I delivered a really cheesy line...but then why do I feel like I meant it? Was it just because it helped Hanako calm down, or do I really want to protect this girl? I realize just how warm Hanako is when she's cuddled up next to me, it's nice, being with another person like this. I could feel heart pounding again...but I don't feel like I'm going to die...I feel relaxed. Maybe...this is what it's like to be really close to someone?

The light of my clock faded out and I was flying again, with Hanako holding onto my hand.

---

So, yeah. That's my story. I draw more than write, but I still love making stories and stuff. So please, any criticism?

[Roxius]

It was very cute. Hanako is definitely the Hinata of KS!

[Mercutio]

d'awww.....

very cute, man, nice work. makes sense too, if Hanako and Hisao get closer that totally seems like the kind of thing she'd do. good stuff.

[WASSHOI]

It's a pretty sweet scenario, not bad for a first time fic really. You could maybe try to use more description in your narration of the story. Some parts seemed really bland. Try to use more vivid wording in it, don't stick to average vocabulary. The story tends to sound a bit dull at times without a flavorful word or two in there to help spice up the feel of the situation. I'm not saying to use vocabulary words that nobody would know off the top of their heads and have to refer to a dictionary for, but just words that aren't as bland and average.

It was very cute. Hanako is definitely the Hinata of KS!

[disturbedthoughts]

Now I'm wondering what the dream was...damn loose ends.

[Squirg]

Really good concept, I personally felt the lack of wording didn't take much away from the piece, as it still held a lot of emotion. I liked it, Hanako acting like a scared child is just... HNNNNNNG

[Sabata]

Already got my opinion on this one, 'Deous. One of the few good fanfics I've ever read. >.>

[Amadeous]

Thanks for the positive feedback, this was really my first time writing for fun rather than for classes or something. I tried to make it as "D'aaaaaaaaaw" as possible, and it looked like I managed that.

@WASSHOI
~ Well, I'm an artist firstoff, not a writer. So it probably comes from me seeing the image in my head, understanding all of it, but not using good language to communicate it. For instance, I figured Hanako would be wearing similar clothes to what's in Cpl_Crud's avatar right now. Normally since I'd be drawing the setting, stuff like that would be in the image itself. Something I just have to try harder one then I suppose.

@disturbedthoughts
~ I tried to imply that Hanako had a dream about the accident that gave her scarring. At least, that's what Hisao thought. Sorry if it wasn't completely apparent.

[OtakuMegane]

Incredibly cute and sweet. Couldn't resist reading it through a couple extra times.

Also, this part near the beginning just made me lol: "Oh, right. I have a door."

[cpl_crud]

I think for a scene like this you need to slow down and pace it right.

More description helps in that instance. If you're used to visualising things, then just write what you visualise. What do you see in that room? What do you notice about Hanako's clothes?

And remember to include for the protagonist and the other character's reactions.

[SirAkbar]

It's nice to read a fanfic that's nice and simple such as this one. Many authors instead write in a too over-the-top fashion that doesn't portray the characters well at all.

My only critique would be that "piss-poor" is a rather unsavory adjective. It disrupts the mood. "Pretty poor excuse" would be what I would use.

[Amadeous]

Alright, I tried to go back and fix it up some according to the critique I got. Thanks for your help everyone.

And you're right SirAkbar, that's what I get for writing this all at once with not proofreading. Stupid casual dialect being portrayed through writing.

[Sabata]

Way to totally ignore everything I told you to fix, 'Deous. I could've been playing Iji. >.>

[Amadeous]

Way to totally ignore everything I told you to fix, 'Deous. I could've been playing Iji. >.>

What? I totally wrote around/over/did fix most of what you said. I will give you that playing Iji is a very good reason to not do other things, but still.

[Seroanth]

No more bad dreams eh?

Oh my God that is so corny!