Hi guys, I didn't want to make my own topic about this, since it isn't really a big deal, and I'll probably feel better by tomorrow, but I feel I need some sort of closure to this whole thing.
I guess I should just start from the beginning; About seven months ago was when I first played Katawa Shoujo, I got Emi's route, and after I finished it I got "The Feels", I never managed to really do anything with them, I just picked up jogging for a bit and let them pass. A few weeks ago I had planned on taking a month away from electronics, as part of this "Monk Month" challenge someone on another forum I frequent found. I decided that I was ready for the feels again, and having time without electronics would give me some time to really figure the feels, as best I could. Or something like that, I don't quite know anymore.
Anyway, I decided to try and get Lilly's route, one manly picnic and a flowchart later, I managed to make my way into Lilly's route. It was great, I fell in love with Lilly, and it's by far my favorite route, but it didn't give me the feels, it did get me stressing out a lot about stupid things that I shouldn't of even been worrying about the way I was, but that was mostly my fault. Me and my family ended up going on vacation before I could start monk month, I had planned out enough of stuff to do at home to last me a month, so I didn't (and still don't) want to start it while I'm on vacation. I ended up playing through Hanako's route, it didn't really evoke any strong emotions like the other two had, but there are a whole bunch of reasons that could be why, but those reasons aren't relevant right now.
Halfway through Hanako's route I was feeling kinda weird about Lilly, like I had an enourmous crush, or had even fallen in love with her. Of course, I realized that while she's damn near perfect, and I really love her as a character, that being "in love" with her is absurd and I couldn't let it go on, or whatever. (Well that was embarassing, I hope you guys don't think any less of me. ;D;) So I got that taken care of. Now, once again, I'm feeling all weird and sad, I can't figure out why though. I know I'm going to feel better tomorrow, I'm already feeling a lot better than I was before, but I still want to make this thread, not because I'm feeling "all weird and sad" and want you guys to make me feel better somehow, but because there's this other feeling I have, about Katawa Shoujo, that I want to address: I really, really love Katawa Shoujo, and I want to write 4LS the biggest thank-you letter ever sometime, but I feel have this sort of grudge against it, because I feel like while KS has taught me a lot of things, and made me happy a lot, it brought me more despair than that. So what I want to know is, how can I get rid of these hard feelings towards KS? I just want to accept that it was my own fault, because there was nothing that KS did to make me feel bad, I just did, and then feel like KS is the best thing since sliced bread.
I don't know how, or even if any of you can help me with this, but even if you've just read this far, and can't help me, I want to say thank you.
Wow, I'm really sorry you guys, I went off track a lot while I was writing that, and I'm sure there's a bunch that I can remove and/or fix, but it's late, and I'm not up to re-writing the whole thing right now.
Closure
Re: Closure
Why do so many people talk about wanting to get rid of "the feels"? Emotion isn't anything to be ashamed of.
Laugh when you want to laugh, cry when you need to cry. Smile, fall in love, be depressed, wallow in despair, then get right back up and sing and dance with joy.
Emotions let you know you're alive, so go out there and live a little bit.
Laugh when you want to laugh, cry when you need to cry. Smile, fall in love, be depressed, wallow in despair, then get right back up and sing and dance with joy.
Emotions let you know you're alive, so go out there and live a little bit.
Not Dead Yet
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Loonie
- Posts: 250
- Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 4:00 pm
- Location: Somewhere between Europe and the Balkans.
Re: Closure
I don't think it was *anyone's* fault that you still have the feelings you do, certainly not yours. KS might've triggered them, sure, but as you said - it's not at fault. And you might've experienced them, but feelings aren't something that anyone consciously decides upon. You can't force yourself to feel the way you do about KS and the paths you've taken within it. You just do.
The only thing you can do is try to figure out why KS triggered your feelings. If you feel you can trust your family with this, you might want to consider talking this over with them (but that's entirely your choice since we don't know anything about what your family's like). That could help a lot better than any advice you find on these boards.
Other than that, if you're looking for closure...I don't think the internet is the place to find that. Only people who know you for who you really are can bring about closure on your feelings about anything. That's either yourself or someone close to you. So like I said, think about wether you have someone IRL that you can talk about KS and this lack of closure you have. But again - entirely at your discretion as to whom because like I said...your RL acquaintances could be anyone. Some people have great friends that don't judge them for playing something like KS and others have families that would sooner shit all over their feelings.
So it's up to you and those close to you to find that closure really. Hope that advice helps.
The only thing you can do is try to figure out why KS triggered your feelings. If you feel you can trust your family with this, you might want to consider talking this over with them (but that's entirely your choice since we don't know anything about what your family's like). That could help a lot better than any advice you find on these boards.
Other than that, if you're looking for closure...I don't think the internet is the place to find that. Only people who know you for who you really are can bring about closure on your feelings about anything. That's either yourself or someone close to you. So like I said, think about wether you have someone IRL that you can talk about KS and this lack of closure you have. But again - entirely at your discretion as to whom because like I said...your RL acquaintances could be anyone. Some people have great friends that don't judge them for playing something like KS and others have families that would sooner shit all over their feelings.
So it's up to you and those close to you to find that closure really. Hope that advice helps.
Re: Closure
relax. you get that feeling whenever there is something that gives you fuzzy feelings that is fictional. because it is just that, fiction.
not real, wont be, and cannot be.
we all know that feel here on the KS forums, so sit down and relax. have a chat if you need to. pm someone if you wish.
i often get that feeling of despair when i read fiction where something so good happens to someone, like they find their love or they attain their dream. the thing is, even if the exact same thing cant happen to you, there really isnt anything stopping you from finding your love or attaining your dream. im super pessimistic, but still gotta have that hope for the future. because when you think about it, the future is the only thing you have.
not real, wont be, and cannot be.
we all know that feel here on the KS forums, so sit down and relax. have a chat if you need to. pm someone if you wish.
i often get that feeling of despair when i read fiction where something so good happens to someone, like they find their love or they attain their dream. the thing is, even if the exact same thing cant happen to you, there really isnt anything stopping you from finding your love or attaining your dream. im super pessimistic, but still gotta have that hope for the future. because when you think about it, the future is the only thing you have.
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Magnenntae
- Posts: 50
- Joined: Fri Jul 13, 2012 7:19 pm
Re: Closure
Thank you, guys.
I don't guess that closure is the right word to use, more of "get rid of negitave feelings towards something", it's not as if there's some sort of mental shackles binding me to KS, and preventing me from letting my life revolve around more important things, I just sort of wanted to walk away from it* with all happy feelings, or something, I'm not too sure now.
*And by that I mean post in the forums and collect fanart for a while, maybe replay some routes.
But, uh, thanks again, for the nice and helpful responses, and thanks for not judging me, or anything like that.
I don't guess that closure is the right word to use, more of "get rid of negitave feelings towards something", it's not as if there's some sort of mental shackles binding me to KS, and preventing me from letting my life revolve around more important things, I just sort of wanted to walk away from it* with all happy feelings, or something, I'm not too sure now.
*And by that I mean post in the forums and collect fanart for a while, maybe replay some routes.
But, uh, thanks again, for the nice and helpful responses, and thanks for not judging me, or anything like that.