A pseudo-pseudo Suzu route (completed)

[JTemby]

With the amount of guilt she's carrying around I expected something more specific, something she could twist into making her out to be responsible. As is, I'm not really seeing it.

Maybe I can assist
She woke up in the street to find her lying next to her in a pool of his own blood.
No matter what kind of event preceded that or was responsible for it, something like that would still scar you for your life, especially considering not only the typical storybook "emotional connection" family members share but the proximity the incident occurred.
...With only having a single year to emotionally deal with the event, I'm amazed Suzu isn't a lot more like Hanako ._.
Gah, I'm become too immersed into the story!
I just criticised criticism, I really feel like there should be a picture of Xzibit on my desktop now.

[Vekter]

Excellent as always. Don't listen to the haters, man.

I'll echo what YFA said, but I still think it's a good way of doing it. It's less dramatic than, say, getting hit by a car, but it makes more sense and is a bit more plausible. Plus, the timing required for something like that makes the odds astronomically low.

I kind of guessed it was her brother, and I kind of figured out what was going to happen, but it didn't make it any less gut-wrenchingly sad.

Also they make the cutest fucking couple ever.

Scissorlips, you're a magnificent bastard

EDIT: Perfect music for the scene.

[Ascended Flutist]

...With only having a single year to emotionally deal with the event, I'm amazed Suzu isn't a lot more like Hanako ._.

Well, I think she 'ostriched it down', so to speak. The combined effects of her having a deluxe subscription to dreamland tickets and the fact that she isn't wearing the testimony of her brother's death on her face makes it just a tad easier to bury inside her memory. Then the nightmares came and she just got trapped into another type of hell.

I don't get why was is so hard to tell

It's hard to tell other people because memory-walls work both ways. Letting it all out means thinking about it. And those kind of memories tend the squat the place once you've opened the door. And they're not the kind of memory you want to be sharing a room with. If the previous chapters didn't hammer that particular point in, I don't know what will.
That and, to paraphrase JTemby, She woke up next to the corpse of her brother in a pool of his blood. She emphasizes on them always being asleep at different times so they had each other's back. And whoop da bloody doo, her brother dies, on her watch. Her. Brother. Dies. They were teenagers, and had known and loved each other since they both were toddlers. And he dies. He was with her and her alone. And you find the guilt trip hard to swallow? It's only been one years, guys. Really now.
I'd grant you that this trope isn't morning fresh, but to call it unbelievable? Dagoth forbids the things the Internet does to y'all.

[Emulsifier]

I will MISSING ARGUMENT myself to stay awake with all my might as my dreams slowly creep forward.

force? tell? Is there even a missing argument? Why are languages so confusing?

To will is to try to make something happen by using one's will (or intention).

[Panthour]

I don't get why was is so hard to tell

It's hard to tell other people because memory-walls work both ways. Letting it all out means thinking about it. And those kind of memories tend the squat the place once you've opened the door. And they're not the kind of memory you want to be sharing a room with. If the previous chapters didn't hammer that particular point in, I don't know what will.
That and, to paraphrase JTemby, She woke up next to the corpse of her brother in a pool of his blood. She emphasizes on them always being asleep at different times so they had each other's back. And whoop da bloody doo, her brother dies, on her watch. Her. Brother. Dies. They were teenagers, and had known and loved each other since they both were toddlers. And he dies. He was with her and her alone. And you find the guilt trip hard to swallow? It's only been one years, guys. Really now.
I'd grant you that this trope isn't morning fresh, but to call it unbelievable? Dagoth forbids the things the Internet does to y'all.

Wise words my friend, wise words indeed.
I can kind of understand how someone might feel in a situation like hers (seeing her brother dead on the floor) because I once saw someone get hit by a car and it was one of the most horrifying things I had ever seen, and an image like that is hard to erase from your mind.

Great chapter by the way, Suzu's dad is great!

[Mirage_GSM]

She woke up next to the corpse of her brother in a pool of his blood. She emphasizes on them always being asleep at different times so they had each other's back. And whoop da bloody doo, her brother dies, on her watch. Her. Brother. Dies. They were teenagers, and had known and loved each other since they both were toddlers. And he dies. He was with her and her alone. And you find the guilt trip hard to swallow? It's only been one years, guys. Really now.
I'd grant you that this trope isn't morning fresh, but to call it unbelievable? Dagoth forbids the things the Internet does to y'all.

I agree that waking up next to her dead brother could cause some decent trauma, but guilt?
I would have understood guilt if he had died saving her or if she had neglected to pass some critical piece of information on to him or if she had acted in any way irresponsible, but just falling asleep is nothing unusual for either her or her brother.
And blaming herself for his extremely dumb luck of killing himself falling down on the street is... Well, I wouldn't go so far as to call it ridiculous, but it sure is a bit over the top.
It caused me to read the scene a second time to be sure I didn't miss anything important...

[griffon8]

Hisao is sitting in the chair next to the couch, ohh, what a comfy chair that--no, no, I must stay loyal to the couch. Although the chair would probably be easier to smuggle back to school, hmm.

I laughed quite a bit more than I thought I would at this line. I just love your Suzu.

It's in moments like this that I'm really glad I discovered you fic.
So yeah.
Keep being you.

I am way more amused than I should be that such an excellent post pointing out so many minor errors has one of its own.

One other error: 'each other' is two words, not one.

[Ascended Flutist]

Well, guilt trips aren't uncommon, especially with family matters. It's not the first time I see fiction using the accidental death of a family member, or any close relative, really, as a fuel for guilt trips.
And sure, from an objective standpoint it wasn't her fault. We all know that. But you have to consider the Snoozukis as a team. Like any of the teams you always stumble on in RPGs. How many times have we seen group leaders/heroes/what have you guilt trip over the death of a teammate, however powerless they were at the time? I'm betting my Rubbery Euphonium the thing is already on TVTropes. Now crank that up to eleven. There you go. A nice, deep-seeded guilt trip, with a generous topping of recurring nightmares provided free of charge by Narcolepsy inc.

But, ah, Scissorlips will have the final say in this.

I am way more amused than I should be that such an excellent post pointing out so many minor errors has one of its own.

I am undone.

[Bagheera]

This seemed to be built up to be something other than survivor's guilt, so the bulk of your rant somewhat misses the point.

But whatever. I enjoyed the chapter immensely and don't want to argue about it, so moving right along . . .

[Ascended Flutist]

This seemed to be built up to be something other than survivor's guilt, so the bulk of your rant somewhat misses the point.

But whatever. I enjoyed the chapter immensely and don't want to argue about it, so moving right along . . .

If this is the case, I'll apologize, pick up the shattered pieces of my pride myself (and cut myself while doing so) and leave. Although I don't see anything else than survivor's guilt here (That's the word, thanks by the way.)

[AlchemistR]

Oh, man...
DAMMIT.
DAMMIT, DAMMIT, DAMMIT.
I hate you, Scissorlips. WHY, WHY MUST YOU WRITE SOMETHING WITH SO MANY FEELS!? This is more feels than I think I can handle...I'm gonna go cry in a corner, now. ;A;

Also, I don't know if I want a Suzu route anymore. It would in no way be as well done and feelsy as this. ;-;

Edit: This pops into my head whenever something with too many feels happens.
Needless to say, it's playing on an endless loop.

[Dippeggs]

“What? No.” I shake my head vigorously, sitting up. Hisao had moved over to give me enough room to lie down, putting my beg underneath my head as a makeshift pillow.

Spelled "bag" wrong. Worst story ever. 0/10. Would not recommend.

[Lumi]

[nemz]

It seems several people in this thread are trying to get into Yamaku with a diagnosis of chronic butthurt.

[Scissorlips]

I guess that's the American interpretation of "near"... In Japan "a couple of hours from XY" means "half the country away."
"A couple of hours from Nagoya" is either beyond Tokyo or beyond Osaka

Sorry about the typos and the 'localization error'. Both of my usual proof readers were out last night and I was, admittedly, in a bit of a hurry. Thanks for pointing those out.
As for the reveal, I understand what you mean, but that was part of the point, was that it was something random, something pointless. It was just bad luck, nothing more, and it's something that could and still can happen to Suzu any day.

Upcoming bigass plot point aside, this really opened my eyes to Suzu's plight. God what a horrible condition.

I'm glad that's something people picked up on. Narcolepsy is a very serious condition that, depending on the severity, can ruin people's lives. As cute as it admittedly is sometimes, I still hope that I've been able to treat the subject with the respect it deserves.

“Beautiful, doting wife!” My dad calls as we remove our shoes in the entrance hall. “I have returned with our errant daughter and her chosen mate!”

I'm intending to save this for when I'm married and with a daughter. Do you mind awfully if I do?

That makes two of us.

You know. It's funny. I'd more or less guessed what that was going to be about. I, for all intent and purposes, knew it. And yet, actually reading is, well. Powerful. Liberating. Devoid of the liberating emptiness after pain. A high point.
It's on par with the high points of Emi, Rin or Hanako's route in my book. Excellent. Fitting.
It's in moments like this that I'm really glad I discovered you fic.
So yeah.
Keep being you.

The execution was more important to get right than the content at that point, because of how many hints I had thrown out earlier in the chapter and in previous ones (in fact, if you have the time, I would suggest anyone going back and reading some of the earlier chapters and seeing some things that make a little more sense now). Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed what was perhaps long overdue.

Holy mother of crap. That is all there is to say on the matter.

EDIT: Here's a version without the 'there are no words'. I think I like this one better to be honest.

Those are both great, thank you, Doomish. I think I agree that I like the one without words better, though.

As far as the guilt goes, Flutist put it pretty well, but yes, Suzu is also being emotional and irrational, something that I hope doesn't come as too much of a surprise. In her mind though, it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't wanted to go to the city that day, which is technically true. I tried to get across that she had built him up in her mind, he wasn't just her brother, he was her hero, and that "If he could do it, I could do it" line is actually extremely important. Remember that her brother didn't graduate.

Thank you. I will gladly link it at the end of the chapter, if you're okay with that.

Thank you for reading and posting your thoughts, everyone. We're almost done with Act 3, now.