Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[dwarduk]

One thing I haven't told about myself is my sex drive. Which is pretty non-existent. Honestly, I don't even know why I read tons of eroge without wanting to fuck the brains out of certain characters. Too much feels in KS for that kind of thing, but even in the fappable ones I find myself not really into it. It feels like I've lost the desire to mate. I can love, but unlike most guys I don't think about that kind of stuff. Even way back when, when I was with Her, I found myself not really wanting to do anything but sit, chat, cuddle, and watch anime or something.

I dunno about asexual, but I feel quite similarly about relationships. What I really want is the Lilly path, a best friend I can rely on and share everything with like that. With or without benefits . And definitely no Scotland T_T. Though my attitude changes a lot; I get sort-of phases of hypersex then phases of asex. Kinda like I hear some people with bipolar have when their pole flips (or whatever the term is ), though I don't -think- I'm bipolar. Manic? Definitely.


As to being asked to speak: it's up to you. You may be a bad speaker, but do you wish to share anything with the people there?

[Pyramid Head]

Been gone for a few days. I've mostly been in mourning. Being an antisocial asshole, i have very few friends, and losing one dealt a devistating blow. I lost a friend more faithful and wise than any human i ever met, but sadly her weakening well-being couldn't preserve her through the motherfuckers at Amazon.com ripping me off and sending me the wrong items. Yes, my laptop is dead and i failed to back-up most of my files, so i had to redownload a lot of important programs and footage for the reviews i write, not to mention i had to redownload Katawa Shoujo and now have to try and get 100% before my fanfic deadline reaches. Damn you Amazon, because of you my precious Mariska was lost!

But i managed to get a new laptop i've named Lilly because she's large, beautiful, but oversensitive to the touch because it took me a while to find and disable the idiotic "Tap to click" setting on the touch pad. Lilly still runs on Windows 7 and MIcrosoft is getting ready to release Windows 8 soon, and her battery barely gets three hours unless i adjust the settings, but her processor is brand new and very powerful and the graphics are as powerful as you can get without getting 1080, so she can run the Steam engine and i've got a few demos already installed, so while it is sad to lay my three year companion Mariska to rest, but i'm back at work now.

Anyway, did i miss anything while i was hitting electronic stores and cursing at Amazon operators?

[Erenussocrates]

@Xiious, do you have a My Anime List account? :3

@Pseudogenesis, "Hate Mails with Richard Dawkins" video really cracked me up

[Walrusfella]

At the same time, I realize I can't miss it because it's in memory of her, and as such it's a given that I'm going. I may just decide not to speak, but then I'd be pestered with questions about what happened anyway, PLUS, her parents will be there and I'm quite scared of seeing them. Like I said many pages before, I've been pretty locked in my own place past few years.

"I'm afraid I can't give a speech about that, I'm not ready" is a perfectly valid answer if you feel you just can't do it. They person who asked you is bound to accept that if they have any decency.

If you think you want to, or have a duty to, just be brief and be honest. I don't think anyone would be expecting soaring Churchillian oratory from you on that subject. I know public speaking is really difficult (I can do it at this point in my life but I never relish it) but this will be a sympathetic crowd that is on your side.

As for her parents, their attitude toward you may have changed with time. Maybe it was never really negative? Perhaps they really want to see you. You knew their daughter best in those last years, after all. I'm just speculating here and I may be out of line, but this could be a healing event for you.

[Beoran]

Xiiious, Walrusfella's advice for that meeting is a good idea, I think.

I don't like the words "asexual" or "hypersexual". Those are labels that seem to condemn people for being as they are. People have different libidos. Some have a high libido, other have low libido, some average, and some variable over time. If you know sex and the city and Charlotte's story, then you should know that a difference in libido between the two people can be a serious problem for the relationship. So I think for a serious relationship, it's important to find out how the libido's are and if they are not identical, if it will be possible to match them through some agreeable compromise. Other important topics are how to use and spend money, children as in how many, and how to raise them if any, where exactly you want to live, and what is exactly the life you want to live, as in what is your ideal day plan.

Edit:

Oh, and I found a job! And with a nice raise in my salary too! I can't start immediately, and also, I have a few months of "probation" or "testing" (what's the correct English word?) to go trough before I'm sure I'll be able to keep that job, but at least it's a relief I don't have to look too much anymore. It's a much more serious job than the one I had before though, so I'll have to be in top condition. Also, I probably can't procrastinate too much anymore, so perhaps you'll see a bit less of me here. Also, this job requires me to do team work, so I'll have to practice my social skills, but it's a challenge I'd like to rise to, so I hope to move up a bit in the world.

[Pseudogenesis]

Been gone for a few days. I've mostly been in mourning. Being an antisocial asshole, i have very few friends, and losing one dealt a devistating blow. I lost a friend more faithful and wise than any human i ever met, but sadly her weakening well-being couldn't preserve her through the motherfuckers at Amazon.com ripping me off and sending me the wrong items. Yes, my laptop is dead and i failed to back-up most of my files,

I honestly thought for at least a minute that a close friend died because Amazon failed to send you important medical supplies.

I'll be in the corner if you need me.

[Kouryuu]

Oh, and I found a job! And with a nice raise in my salary too! I can't start immediately, and also, I have a few months of "probation" or "testing" (what's the correct English word?) to go trough before I'm sure I'll be able to keep that job, but at least it's a relief I don't have to look too much anymore. It's a much more serious job than the one I had before though, so I'll have to be in top condition. Also, I probably can't procrastinate too much anymore, so perhaps you'll see a bit less of me here. Also, this job requires me to do team work, so I'll have to practice my social skills, but it's a challenge I'd like to rise to, so I hope to move up a bit in the world.

Great news!

Sounds like a fun challenge too, good luck.

Now I just need to get a job of my own.

[Xanatos]

Xiiious, Walrusfella's advice for that meeting is a good idea, I think.

I have a few months of "probation" or "testing" (what's the correct English word?)

"Probation" is the proper term though it means a form of testing anyway so both are technically correct. In a working context, it refers to a testing period for newer employees. In a legal context, it refers to a period in which criminals (current or former) are required to obey predetermined conditions to avoid jail time.

I'm guessing English isn't a first language for you? I'm learning Japanese myself...In retrospect, even as my native tongue, my grasp of English vocabulary is rather advanced considering doctors claimed I'd never talk.

And out of curiosity, what is the job? It sounds demanding...

[Keneshiro]

You know the fat guy in class? Or maybe the guy who everyone just happens to forget when going to do something. I'm both of those 2 combined. I don't mean that I have no friends, but gosh, everyone seems to forget me whenever they go out for anything. It has been lonely for this past 21 years, but I deal with it. I read, I game, I took up photography, but occasionally, especially recently, I realise that I'm rather lonely. I think a lot. I dream about getting a girlfriend, since I guess at least there's SOMEONE to hang out with me. I don't know~ /rant

EDIT:Shite, I interrupted you guys didn't I? I'm so sorry.

[Xanatos]

You know the fat guy in class? Or maybe the guy who everyone just happens to forget when going to do something. I'm both of those 2 combined. I don't mean that I have no friends, but gosh, everyone seems to forget me whenever they go out for anything. It has been lonely for this past 21 years, but I deal with it. I read, I game, I took up photography, but occasionally, especially recently, I realise that I'm rather lonely. I think a lot. I dream about getting a girlfriend, since I guess at least there's SOMEONE to hang out with me. I don't know~ /rant

EDIT:Shite, I interrupted you guys didn't I? I'm so sorry.

Heh. You sound like Yuuko again.

And once again, I can sympathize...Except I wasn't forgotten. I was just never a part of it. I deal with it as needed (I nearly died of alcohol poisoning on my 21st birthday, so I try to deal in other ways now) but I've mostly come to terms with everything...Now it's just a matter of fixing things up.

I sculpt instead of doing photography though. Photos just never interested me much.

[Keneshiro]

You know the fat guy in class? Or maybe the guy who everyone just happens to forget when going to do something. I'm both of those 2 combined. I don't mean that I have no friends, but gosh, everyone seems to forget me whenever they go out for anything. It has been lonely for this past 21 years, but I deal with it. I read, I game, I took up photography, but occasionally, especially recently, I realise that I'm rather lonely. I think a lot. I dream about getting a girlfriend, since I guess at least there's SOMEONE to hang out with me. I don't know~ /rant

EDIT:Shite, I interrupted you guys didn't I? I'm so sorry.

Heh. You sound like Yuuko again.

And once again, I can sympathize...Except I wasn't forgotten. I was just never a part of it. I deal with it as needed (I nearly died of alcohol poisoning on my 21st birthday, so I try to deal in other ways now) but I've mostly come to terms with everything...Now it's just a matter of fixing things up.

I sculpt instead of doing photography though. Photos just never interested me much.

Gaming counts as dealing with it right?

[Xanatos]

You know the fat guy in class? Or maybe the guy who everyone just happens to forget when going to do something. I'm both of those 2 combined. I don't mean that I have no friends, but gosh, everyone seems to forget me whenever they go out for anything. It has been lonely for this past 21 years, but I deal with it. I read, I game, I took up photography, but occasionally, especially recently, I realise that I'm rather lonely. I think a lot. I dream about getting a girlfriend, since I guess at least there's SOMEONE to hang out with me. I don't know~ /rant

EDIT:Shite, I interrupted you guys didn't I? I'm so sorry.

Heh. You sound like Yuuko again.

And once again, I can sympathize...Except I wasn't forgotten. I was just never a part of it. I deal with it as needed (I nearly died of alcohol poisoning on my 21st birthday, so I try to deal in other ways now) but I've mostly come to terms with everything...Now it's just a matter of fixing things up.

I sculpt instead of doing photography though. Photos just never interested me much.

Gaming counts as dealing with it right?

Oh, absolutely. Anything that distracts the mind counts. I myself use games (of the "kill everything" variety like Dead Rising 2) to sublimate my intense resentment and hatred born of years of shunning and peer abuse. Even without that need, I still just really like video games of all sorts.

Good luck on that little dream of yours if you pursue it.

[Keneshiro]

Oh, absolutely. Anything that distracts the mind counts. I myself use games (of the "kill everything" variety like Dead Rising 2) to sublimate my intense resentment and hatred born of years of shunning and peer abuse. Even without that need, I still just really like video games of all sorts.

Good luck on that little dream of yours if you pursue it.

Haha. I guess I need an ounce of luck to achieve it.

[Xanatos]

Oh, absolutely. Anything that distracts the mind counts. I myself use games (of the "kill everything" variety like Dead Rising 2) to sublimate my intense resentment and hatred born of years of shunning and peer abuse. Even without that need, I still just really like video games of all sorts.

Good luck on that little dream of yours if you pursue it.

Haha. I guess I need an ounce of luck to achieve it.

Be grateful you live in 2012. The 'net can help you if necessary. I'm thinking of turning to it myself given the lack of decent people in this town...

Then again, if the conspiracies are right, we'll all die in December anyway, so maybe furious masturbation is a better use of the remaining time.

[Keneshiro]

Oh, absolutely. Anything that distracts the mind counts. I myself use games (of the "kill everything" variety like Dead Rising 2) to sublimate my intense resentment and hatred born of years of shunning and peer abuse. Even without that need, I still just really like video games of all sorts.

Good luck on that little dream of yours if you pursue it.

Haha. I guess I need an ounce of luck to achieve it.

Be grateful you live in 2012. The 'net can help you if necessary. I'm thinking of turning to it myself given the lack of decent people in this town...

Then again, if the conspiracies are right, we'll all die in December anyway, so maybe furious masturbation is a better use of the remaining time.

Never mastrubated. I'm one fucking odd guy.