Hanako's Broken Heart Club

[Beoran]

Erenussocrates, thanks for your story.

I know it may be hard for you but look at it once from your parents point of view. Marriage is very hard. That's why 50% fail. And that's because it's much easier to love someone than to do the effort to live together happily with someone. Einstein was married too and even he got divorced in the end after he had children. It goes to show no matter how smart you are, it 's still hard o make a marriage work.

Now for some reason of other, your parents couldn't make it work together. I know it was hard on you, but I think that if they couldn't be happy together then they should be free to find ways to be happy separately. The only thing I can say is that perhaps they should have dealt with you more maturely, but that can be hard when there is that much resentment between two people...

As for you losing KS, that's the whole point. You are supposed to learn from this game. You can reload and play again. And this time you'll get a better ending. And again, until you get the best ones. In real life, we can't reload. But we can try again every time, and learn every time from our mistakes. The pain you feel now because you made a mistake, make it your strength. Make it your resolve not to make the same mistakes (again?) in reality. Experience catharsis: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catharsis

As for My Girl by Sahara Mizu (an obvious nom-de-plume since it means "Sahara water"), it made my fatherly heart weep a bit. But there's also quite a bit of simple yet bright wisdom in this story. Ah, I hope my daughter will become this wise... without having to suffer so much!

[Surreal-mind]

@Erenussocrates: I had to move many times when I was young too, so I understand how you feel about that.
I don't know wich ending you got to get you so deppressed, but let me tell you something...
I got Rin't good ending the first time I played, then I go Lilly's good ending, but then I heard there was a "manly picnic" ending.
So I got curious and got that one on purpose, and even though it's supposed to be funny it really struck a chord with me.
Back in my highschool days I was extremely negative and cynic (and that's an understatement)
If I had attended Yamaku back then... I'm sure I would have ended having a manly picnic.
Then.. some things Kenji says during that scene... mostly about not having a chance to change his destiny and such, I'm pretty sure I've said those exact words in the past too. But the point is... instead of making me give up on everything it made me realize that I needed to change things.
I am really bad with words.... but what I am trying to say is, instead of giving up on life and everything, you should really try to change your outlook on things. If this VN had so much effect on you, why not try to get the good endings ? They might help you learn POSITIVE about yourself. Your life is not pointless!

@Xiious: Okay man, but whenever you need to get something off your chest, you come here.
We are here for you !
Oh... and please don't listen to deppressing music, I used to do the same thing all the time.
Listening to Nirvana whenever I felt lonely or sad.... huge mistake.
Please avoid deppressing stuff, okay ?

@Axelownz: I noticed you were gone! I was all like "Where is that dude ? Why did he stop posting ?"

@Unforgiven : Good luck with the job !

@introfate: Give her some time. Things might change after a while.
Try to keep calm, and don't think TOO MUCH about this.

[Episcia]

Try to keep calm, and don't think TOO MUCH about this.

Best advice anyone can give about relationships, ever.

Also, thank you, Beoran. And hey, stick around - I may just post here one day and give an update!

[Kouryuu]

Hey whats the chances of my old friend not getting the email? Like it might look like spam or something, or she might have changed email addresses...Do you think I should resend the message on facebook? (and preface it with the email thing just incase).

How long should I leave it?

Argh! So many questions...

[Episcia]

Don't overthink things, Kouryuu, and don't be afraid of failure.

Do what your heart tells you to do. If you think you've done enough, then do so.

[Total Destruction]

@Xiious: Yeah, sometimes all we can do is just ride it out. Handle it.

@Erenussocrates: Um, dammit. I really have no idea what to say there. ... Admittance is the first step to recovery, and we all feel like garbage from time to time? Yeesh. Be good.

[Exbando]

While I don't have any responses to specific people at this moment, I do have something to say.

If anyone feels the same way I did when posting this, I found a song for you!

We all have a reason to live, we just need to find out what that is first.

[Kouryuu]

Don't overthink things, Kouryuu, and don't be afraid of failure.

Do what your heart tells you to do. If you think you've done enough, then do so.

Thank you, your right. It's annoying how every moment I am not distracted I am thinking about it...

[Erenussocrates]

Firstly, I thank everyone who've taken their time to read my boring past and was concerned about that. I actually didn't even think that if anyone would ever pay attention at all, I'm genuinely grateful. I guess this will be hell of a long post, but I feel like I'm obliged to answer. No, I'm not obliged to answer, I have to answer.

My advice to you is to not stop playing because of one bad ending, and dont let it ruin your life. Play through again and make different choices, or even look at one of the walkthroughs or the flowcharts that are placed on this site.

If you dont mind me asking, whos bad ending did you get?

The cause of my affliction isn't because of my bad ending, but about the real life itself, friend. The bad ending was merely a trigger. And playing through it again will not satisfy me greatly, as it is the truth that I have failed at my first time. But thanks for all your advices and your concern.

I've received the picnic with Kenji..

Girls can be pretty scary. It's difficult to know what to say around them, especially if you're interested in them. My advice - why not try reaching out a little more to some sort of group activities? Are you in high school / college? Are there any clubs you might be able to join? Even if they're only mildly interesting to you, you may still be able to get in touch with some people and make some new friends. When dealing with women, it's much easier to talk with them / get to know them if you're interacting in a group.

I've just recently graduated from highschool. This repent adds even more to my depression. I am too late. Way too late to gain experience.
Days pass and go in the blink of an eye, like, before you could say jack robinson. When I was a child, I thought that I still had plenty of time. Unlimited time. But I realized how wrong I was as more time passed. And as time passes even now, I'm getting even more late. Maybe, I might not be more late than this though.
And there weren't any clubs to associate with. If only there were some place/job that made one to enforcedly communicate with females constantly.. And not some stupid job like being waiter or stuff.
If there are both males and females in one place, I get even more awkward. And I don't even know if it's better to act either too familiar or formal with an acquaintance female. I guess, this comes partially from my father as well. As I know that he was a loser with girls as a teenager too. Also that's why I feel like I'm eternally cursed, and that's why I said I hate that blood inside me.
But thanks for your very nice advices, I'm truly grateful.

There's no "maybe" about it - it's all about self-motivation, helping yourself overcome your shortcomings.

Yeah, I know that. But it looks like I won't get a chance anytime soon.

I've said something like this before - being sad and moping and feeling like you will never have a girlfriend will, unfortunately, never result in getting a girlfriend. A woman will not materialize in your lap and declare her love for you (as so many mangas have made claim). You have to put in the effort to improve yourself to the point of being able to find someone. If you put in that time, there is someone out there for you - you simply have to find them.

Yeah, I know that. But I feel like nothing I can do can succeed at this rate. Sometimes I think, when dealing with girls, if I act childish with them, I feel like I could either keep up with them or make experiences out of it. Just like little kids act when they see a little girl that they like. But that sounds stupid.

And don't let your result in a computer game dictate your life. Katawa Shoujo, as well-written as it is, is no method of judging oneself. There's, like, four choices in the entire damn path - that's not at all realistic. In fact, playing the game, there were numerous times when I wish I could have done things differently than Hisao did, that I KNOW I would have done differently if it was me in his shoes. Unfortunately, you're being told a story in which you have a very limited amount of control, and if you mess up a couple small choices you get a "bad end." Don't let it eat you up inside - it's just a story. Play it again, try some different options, and you'll see a different result. But when it comes to real life, act by your own accord. Be true to yourself, and good things will come of it in the end.

I know that the way I feel isn't rational. Maybe, me being an excessive fanboy about Katawa Shoujo - as much as everyone here, lol - had a great part as well. I'm not sure if anyone understands me, but getting beaten in a game like this is worse than getting beaten in real life, right? I mean, games are supposed to be easier than life itself.
And I know how you feel about how Hisao acts throughout the story, lol. I thought that he was pretty dumb at some point as well.

i know that feel bro. i havent been through those kind of harsh life choices, but i have been on the verge of suicide before and im still pretty introverted. at least youre good at drawing and guitar, i dont have anything im good at

me, mr 18 year old boy with nay a date to his name. a new record. every relationship i had with a female ended badly (save for 1, but even then i dont talk to her much) so don't feel too bad about that too. there are many things in life you can accomplish without having a significant other. and if you feel you really need one? go for it! there definitely is someone out there for you somewhere. internet dating sites can do. it did so for my brother. there's nothing wrong with that.

Thanks for your sympathy bro I'm sure you can get an expertise on whatever subject you wish eventually. You just have to be passionate about it, and it comes freely when you feel your heart beat.

At least you have experience with girls, right? At least way more experienced than me, that's for damn sure. And not every relationship is supposed to be perfect, right? Sooner or later, most relationships end, and an ending of relationship is always sad, in my opinion. And that's not only for romantic relationships and stuff.
And I tried the internet one. I had a girlfriend over facebook once. When it first started, I was all enthusiastic and optimistic about it. It lasted almost a year. But then, I ended it before I even realized it. There remained nothing but unfulfilled promises in the end. I wasn't even sad, and I guess I hurt her pretty badly though. I know how asshole I sound now.
This kind of experience is nothing I am looking for. We all know that internet and real life is really different than each other. I want real.

And thanks for your music suggestions

Another thing - your life goes through some significant changes once you leave school behind and start fending for yourself. My life now is nothing like it was in high school, or even for the first several months after the end of high school. And by those time periods, I still hadn't had a first relationship, either. Honestly, most people who do have a high school relationship will end up losing it, probably before high school even ends. Realistically, though, a lot of them will fail just because going from high school to adulthood is a major goddamn change that can often leave you no room to hold on to anything else as you desperately try to become a "real" adult. Would be nice to have a storybook romance with a childhood friend, but most of the people who ended up with a "head start" on you in that department end up in your shoes anyway. Difference being that they have a higher chance to have a child they can barely afford to care for.

Thanks for attempts of cheering me up :p I didn't feel better at the sight of your own experiences but thanks for sharing yours anyway

@erenussocrates: Thanks for sharing your story. My parents are divorced too so I know it can be rough. I remember that I was... crazy?... when my parents divorced. I had really bad temper and I would just start fighting with anyone who was near me. But im over it. And seems like your over it too, good job.

And for anyone who is having trouble with girls, I just rememberd what my dad once told me about girls: "just go talk with them". And I only just realised how wise words those are.

So, it seems like we were quite similar at some point eh, hahaha. Yeah, I got over the separation very very long time ago, actually it has a few advantages as well, if you know what I mean But, what I suffer now is, it's indirect consequences right now..
And, you can't just go and say "I'm starting a conversation with you" to a girl, you know

I am deeply sorry for jumping to the postin' already without proper presentation of myself, as well as moved by your difficult life and your mature approach to your own personal problems.

Thanks for your sympathy I wouldn't want to get anybody else depressed with my own past as well. And don't worry about presentation, we'll all get to know each other slowly here.

the world doesn't give you second chances, true, but you aren't a passive, inactive flower in the midst of a huge plain of nothingness, no, you can alter your fate if you put your heart and mind to it, like you've seen yourself do already. You have as many second chances as you allow yourself to fight for.

Yeah, you are quite right and inspiring there, my friend. I'm not an inactive entity for sure. I should try my best, but I feel like if I give it all everytime I meet up with a female, I'll get exhausted and tired of it. Or maybe I'm just thinking stupidly irrelevant again.

@Erenussocrates - Thank you for you story, you are awsome by just posting here <3. Others have said it better than I ever could, your life is never pointless. It all depends how you look at it and you are the only one who can change that.

Thank you for your kindness <3

Erenussocrates, thanks for your story.

I know it may be hard for you but look at it once from your parents point of view. Marriage is very hard. That's why 50% fail. And that's because it's much easier to love someone than to do the effort to live together happily with someone. Einstein was married too and even he got divorced in the end after he had children. It goes to show no matter how smart you are, it 's still hard o make a marriage work.

Now for some reason of other, your parents couldn't make it work together. I know it was hard on you, but I think that if they couldn't be happy together then they should be free to find ways to be happy separately. The only thing I can say is that perhaps they should have dealt with you more maturely, but that can be hard when there is that much resentment between two people...

Yeah, I know my friend. I don't blame them, not anymore. I don't know what to blame at this point actually.
Yeah, maybe they should have dealt with me better, especially my mum at the beginning. But it doesn't matter now. It all remains in the past now.

I am really bad with words.... but what I am trying to say is, instead of giving up on life and everything, you should really try to change your outlook on things. If this VN had so much effect on you, why not try to get the good endings ? They might help you learn POSITIVE about yourself. Your life is not pointless!

You've done well with your words, my friend. Thanks for your sympathy

@Erenussocrates: Um, dammit. I really have no idea what to say there. ... Admittance is the first step to recovery, and we all feel like garbage from time to time? Yeesh. Be good.

That's brief and clear, and more than enough, my friend Yes, I agree that admittance is the first step to recovery.

[Nyzer]

I am too late. Way too late to gain experience.

Two things on that. One, you're not. I know enough people who have had to wait longer than that to get their first experiences in relationships.

And two, I would honestly prefer if the relationship experiences I've had never existed at all. I don't even want to trade them for something else. I would just prefer that nothing had happened at all. I'd rather that some of those people hadn't existed, either, come to think of it. Between my own experiences, and watching those of many others around me, I don't think I would ever be capable of opening up to anyone like that ever again. I've pretty much shut totally down in that area.

Trust me, you're not missing anything worth missing.

[Walrusfella]

Pleased to meet you, Erenussocrates. I read your story; thanks for posting it.

A lot of the same things happened to me. My parents divorced in my early teenage years, and I ended up moving across the country with my mother. This was a contributing factor (one among several) to why my own high school years were so miserable. I get on very well with them now – much better than when I was actually dependent upon them. I have decided to learn from their mistakes, not follow their example. I made vows and I will keep them; I’m going in the ground with my wedding ring on. I think the divorce rate will be a lot lower for our generation than for theirs. It's good you don’t blame yourself for your parents’ mistakes or behaviour; that’s a trap that a lot of people fall into, and you’ve done well to keep yourself out of it.

I also found it nearly impossible to talk to girls in high school. I only started talking to them at all in my last year. After a bit of trying I realized it isn’t as hard as it seems. One thing that is necessary is accepting the risk that you might say something stupid, and that it isn’t the end of the world if you do. Embarrassment is very unpleasant, but it won’t actually hurt you. Not taking yourself too seriously really helps.

A couple of good things in our favour: women tend to enjoy conversation. This makes talking to them easier. They are just people too, some of whom are very intelligent and interesting. You’re doing yourself a disservice by avoiding them completely, irrespective of the romance angle. The other thing is something I’ve said on this thread before – at least half of conversation is listening and thinking about what the person said, and we shy people have an advantage there.

There is plenty of time to get better interacting with women. You are not nearly old enough to write yourself off, about this or anything. Please keep trying.

Full disclosure: I’m no “Master of Romance”. I’ve had one relationship and I’m still in it. My personal experience is extensive and at the same time very narrow.

I do hope you give the rest of the paths in KS a try when you feel up to it. It really is edifying and those good endings will wash the bad one out of your mind.

[Kouryuu]

I think I'm starting to settle down again. I just wanted to let you awsome dudes know <3.

EDIT: More specifically, I am accepting that I cant force her to reply. I just felt stupid for believing this would ever be a thing, I had near enough accepted that I would never be able to talk to her again but after this thread I kinda got full of hope. Stupid really, I learned a long time ago, hopes high, expectations low.

I guess really I am glad I thanked her. I wouldnt be in as good a place as I am now without her and even though I want to do more, I cant. Kinda sucks that the last 3 years I have been fighting, pushing and in general living for this moment. I guess at least I didnt break my promise.

I'll leave it until saturday and then send the message to her facebook, just in case. I dont hold any hope for it but it will definitely be my last attempt. It's her loss... right?

[Nyzer]

It's possible that she doesn't know how to reply to you, either. I suppose it can depend on how you broke contact with her before.

If you haven't already, then maybe in your Facebook message, mention that you do want to talk to her again, but that if she doesn't, you'll understand? I dunno.

[Kouryuu]

It's possible that she doesn't know how to reply to you, either. I suppose it can depend on how you broke contact with her before.

If you haven't already, then maybe in your Facebook message, mention that you do want to talk to her again, but that if she doesn't, you'll understand? I dunno.

True, I dont really know what she must have thought.

I'll wait until saturday because that will be a week, I did say that I understand if she doesnt want to talk to me but I guess I would rather know that she got the message, even if it was negative/bad news.

[Surreal-mind]

@Kouryuu: There IS a chance that she changed her email address, I mean ... it's been 3 years after all...
I think it is a good idea to send her the facebook message.

I honestly don't think anything really "bad" can come out of it...
Worst case scenario she doesn't answer your message, and that's the end of it.

It's her loss... right?

Yes, yes it is.