Are you doing anything about it?ArazelEternal wrote:
Dont sit there and think just because your problems may not be as intense as others that they are not just as signifigant. YOU are the one they are effecting. They arent just teenagers problems. They effect people much older than you. Im 26 and I have the same issues. Few friends, no girlfriend and i spend a lionshare of my free time on my computer, tablet (as such, I am currently typing this on my BlackBerry Playbook), or smartphone and hardly get out and meet people. I know where you are coming from.
When I was in the first year of university I remember walking with my residence housemates (who I didn't really like, we had nothing in common) to the residence bar to drink (which I didn't really do). We'd often pass a certain guy's window, his room was on the ground floor. He had the curtains open and window open for fresh air, but he was ALWAYS playing Starcraft. My housemates would laugh about what a loser he was. Thing is, I tended to spend most of my time in my room, playing Team Fortress Classic or Counterstrike.
The following year I was out of residence and in a shared student house. Spending most of my time in my room, playing Deus Ex or Operation Flashpoint (only one phone line, broadband wasn't widely available).
I decided enough was enough. I didn't like the big dance music-style clubs full of people like my housemates from first year. There were other clubs though, indie clubs. One night, all my (nicer) housemates were out, I was on my own, staring at my computer. I undertook the momentous decision to go and check this club out, on my own.
It was in a basement. Cool music was playing, though it was still quite early and there weren't many people there yet. I had started to enjoy a drink now and then, so I bought a few and found a place to sit where I could survey the scene. I saw a pair of girls across from me talking. One had a cute bob haircut. I necked one of my drinks (so I'd only have one, in my hand) and, nervous as hell, walked up to them and said hello.
Now, it turned out they both had boyfriends, but they were out for a night just the two of them, and we chatted for a bit. The place started to fill up, and they wandered off so I went onto the now busy dance floor (which had a dry ice machine and lots of lasers) and boogied down a bit.
Sweaty but happy, I went home, and joined the club's forum. I agreed to hook up with a few people on there to put names to faces the following week. They turned out to be really cool people, and we exchanged phone numbers. Many of them were serious regulars, going several times a week, and knew most of the bar staff and DJs.
Fast forward a few months, and I was a serious regular too. I'd made some very good friends. I'd seen a girl I thought was cute, someone knew her, introduced us, and she became my girlfriend for a while. The rest of the time I was single, but that wasn't too bad because the people who frequented this place were really laid back and out to enjoy themselves jumping up and down to rock music and drinking cheap booze. Girls would actually approach you if you looked fun and were enjoying yourself, and sometimes you wouldn't even have time to get off the dancefloor before they'd pounce and start kissing you.
For two years I had my little circle of friends, I had tons of dates and wild adventures and it was just awesome. Unfortunately, as the end of university approach, a lot of the circle started to disperse (many of them were locals) to new jobs or cities. I was too occupied with another serious girlfriend, the one I'm still with now, a decade later.
The crucial thing here is going and doing something about it. If you don't want to spend all your time on your computer thinking Forever Alone (like I did at the start of this story), YOU need to do something about it. It'll be scary, some people might not want to talk to you, but you've got to try. You don't have to go nightclubbing, but you have to do something that's outside your room.
It was one of the best times of my life, and I still look back on those days drinking entire pitchers of vodka Redbull through a straw, jumping up and down until 3am, and watching the evening fly by socializing. Quit moping, go and enjoy yourself while you're young and able to sustain such exertion
Kaede <3
