turbulentDuvet's KS Fanfics <3 [23/9]
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
turbulentDuvet's KS Fanfics <3 [23/9]
Just a thread where I put up my KS related ramblings.
Please read, enjoy, share and critique <3
Lilly and Hisao share a moment at University: This Post
O Sole Mio. Hisao Proposes to Lilly <3.http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=6361#p101937
Toe Rings and other Things. Hisao/Rin. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 52#p102552
Adrift with Shadows in a Sea of White. A brief bit of Rinicism.(NEW!) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 30#p123661
*******
Hanako and Naomi, Summer Break.
P1. Every Journey Starts. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 15#p106374
P2. With a Single Step. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 32#p106532
P3. Do Something Every Day. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 15#p107458
P4. That Scares You. (WIP) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 24#p112024
P4. That Scares you. V2(WIP) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 30#p123374
*******
Hey everyone, I finished Lilly's happy ending today, and after calming down from the hnnngercoaster ride I put myself through (and poor Hisao) I thought I would write this, it's just a little piece of them spending time together in a dorm room at their uni/ college enjoying some free time in their studies with each-other. I hoped to capture a degree of advance in their relationship, as well as the blossoming closeness that is still developing between them as they move forwards in their lives together. I like to be descriptive when I write, but I worry about breaking into purple prose too much, am I guilty here?
Version 2! As pointed out by smex, the original lacked much in the way of taste and smell, so I have made a few additions and alterations, thanks again smex for bringing this to light.
Now onto version 3, I'll keep on playing with a few bits and pieces of the text over the weekend, but I have some ideas for some other KS fanfic that I want to get started on soon too. Final revision, gone from ~1200 words in the original to just over 1600.
***********************
Lilly and Hisao share a moment at University.
Beautiful is the only way Hisao can sum up the sight before him, he smiling as he lets his eyes dwell on her. The weather had put a damper on their plans, but Hisao didn't mind, Lilly and he were happy to just be in each-others company again. They were lucky enough to find a university that offered an excellent curriculum for both of them, as well as the assistance that Lilly would need. Hisao reassured her that the nearby hospital would be all he needed, enjoying the walks there and back for his check-ups, and the occasional reminder to take his medication.
Lilly was stood just a few paces from his rooms window, her clouded eyes closed as she listened to the raindrops play their little tune against the window panes. Hisao's eyes had adjusted to the murky light percolating through the heavy rain clouds, still steadily discharging their cargo of water to the campus below. As the water drops collected and clustered on the window, slowly tracking chaotic paths down, a trick of the light caused little dark patches to play over her face. Each patch carefully tracing out the elegant curves and details of her face, the slope of her shoulders, the almost unnoticeable dimples at the corners of her upturned smile, the fullness of her lips.
Hisao lays on his modest bed, listening with her, enjoying the quiet company, wandering if the way he sees her now, with the little fingers of moving darkness is similar to how Lilly sees him when she traces his features with her fingertips.
He lays there a while longer, his eyes slowly closing, remembering the time she used her ribbon to blindfold him as he takes a few deep breaths, the familiar exercise letting his senses sharpen. As always the first thing he notices is the steady, thumping of his fragile heart, the sound he had become so used to no longer fills him with the same fear it did back then. It only takes him a couple of long, deep breaths to immerse himself in her world, the slight smell of the cold and damp outside sneaking into the room through the plate of glass of the window, contrasting strongly with the subtle scent of Lilly's perfume; Hisao really liked this one, unable to remember the name, but the mix of roses and caramel reminded him of spring, or did spring remind him of her perfume? His mouth curls up into a smile, contemplating this. His mind returns to the room, his ears catching the subtle groaning of the bed springs, his deep breaths letting him feel each wrinkle and fold of his duvet under his back.
Lilly turns a little, tilting her head, the sound of her hair statically clinging to her sweater, the waist shifting around a little on her jeans nearly drowned out by the constant staccato of the raindrops bombarding the window.
"You're doing it again" her feet gently pace as Lilly turns herself around to face Hisao "Sometimes I don't think that it's fair you know."
Hisao sits up, bringing his knees to his chest, turning so his back is against the wall. Patting on the bed next to him, the dull thud enough for Lilly to take the few steps across the room, he holds his other hand out, his eyes still closed, her own almost instantly finding his as she nears. After taking a moment to give each-others hands a little squeeze Lilly, with her characteristic formality and poise, alights herself next to him, taking a moment to wrap her arms around his, wriggling closer, a happy sigh escaping her lips as she gets comfy.
"How do you always know?" he knots his brow in concentration as he ponders her second statement, considering how to respond.
"Your breathing always deepens a little, it's harder to notice now, but it's a sign that you're focusing, you do it when you're working through your science work too," she smiles and lets out a giggle, she always did know the exact time to interrupt his train of thought when they studied together. Such sweet times, sat across from each-other in the library, each deep in a book, their spare hand gently holding the others, as his turns pages, hers turning the little bumps in her books into words. That little intimate contact would sometimes be all they would have time for with their studies coming to a peak soon.
Hisao takes a few more breaths letting his minds eye swim through abstract fields, Lilly's perfume triggering shards of memories old and new as his mind traces links between the scent and obscure parts of his past. Coming back to here and now again he opens his eyes, letting them adjust again to the dull lighting to the room as he pensively considers his response to Lilly's second statement. He finally turns his head to her, the raindrops still playing tricks with the light across her face, as unreadable as a sphinx, eyes looking off into the unfocused distance, unseeing, and yet he fleetingly feels like he could float in those amethyst pools forever. A near-perfect poker face, except for the almost imperceptible tug at one cheek, that cute, lonely dimple the only giveaway to her mood, so we're playing? He thinks.
"What are the rules?" he asks, pleased with himself for not chuckling, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he scans her face again, a slight furrowing of her brow and narrowing of her eyes betraying the immense amount of analysis she had invested in his short question.
"Pardon?" she says, her head tilting a little as she considers the segue, "Oh. . . " she smiles, seeing how Hisao had turned the conversation. "Well it's just that you can close your eyes, and that gives you a glimpse of my world, but I can't suddenly open mine and know yours, it's something we can't share Hisao. It's a fact for you, but I can only ever know sight and seeing, as a concept, it will always be an abstract thing beyond me," her head dips a little before she almost whispers. . . "I'm jealous sometimes."
Hisao is a little taken aback, he and Lilly were candid with each-other, always expressing their thoughts, but this confession was something he wasn't ready for especially after the years they had been together. Lilly had always avoided thinking of her lack of sight as a hindrance, although he still tried his best to avoid saying things like "See you later," or "Look at this," around her.
"Lilly, since meeting you, loving you, knowing you; my senses have become so much more open. You have shown me so many to make the most of what I have, if it wasn't for you I don't know if I could have gotten here. . ." Hisao tightens his hold on her a little, squeezing her shoulder. "You are more aware of everything in every moment than I can ever be, that I can only achieve that focus with my eyes closed, you take that clarity, that immersion of the senses for granted; I'm the jealous one Lilly." he leans over and kisses her cheek, smiling against it before pulling his lips away, licking them, noticing how dry they are, subtle flavours of her skin, maybe her moisturiser too, sneaking across the tip of his tongue.
She smiles at her knees, leaning into his hug a little more, her head resting on his shoulder as her hand finds his, entwining their fingers and letting out an other sigh. "I'm so happy right now Hisao, to think after all we've been through you can still show me a new way to see the world." she says, her voice slowly trailing off becoming a little hoarse as a tear crawls down her cheek, her smile still on her face.
"Hey," he says, his hand coming up to her face, a thumb tracing the path of the little bead of moisture, wiping it from her cheek. "I'm returning the favour, and promised I would be here for you as long as I can." he gently cradles her chin kissing her cheek again, a subtle salty pang still there from that tear, he contemplates the slight taste, the change from earlier, thinking how it reflects on how Lilly has become so accustomed to putting the feeling of others first,the bitter taste reminding Hisao how close they had become, how theirs helped each-other break down their barriers.
Her smile widened again, burying her face in his shoulder as she let out a muted little sob before bringing her face up to gaze in his direction, her arms sliding around him. "thank you." she says, her smile evolving into a grin.
He looks again into the cloudy depths of her eyes, the subdued lighting making the twinkle like opals. With moments like these having been so rare recently Hisao would have happily stared into them until it got dark, holding her close, not letting any other thought intrude into their time together, he sighs as an other tear traces it's path down her cheek before replying.
"You're wel. . . .
She waited for him to say something, his sentence going unfinished as her face moves closer, the unfinished words all she needed to guide her lips to his, their noses butting together a little before Hisao tilts his head to the side, his eyes closing again, taking a deep breath through his nose as they share a deep, affectionate kiss, the only measure of the time passing is the beating of the rain against the window, underlined by the steady drum of their hearts against each-others as their embrace tightens. . .
Please read, enjoy, share and critique <3
Lilly and Hisao share a moment at University: This Post
O Sole Mio. Hisao Proposes to Lilly <3.http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=6361#p101937
Toe Rings and other Things. Hisao/Rin. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 52#p102552
Adrift with Shadows in a Sea of White. A brief bit of Rinicism.(NEW!) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 30#p123661
*******
Hanako and Naomi, Summer Break.
P1. Every Journey Starts. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 15#p106374
P2. With a Single Step. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 32#p106532
P3. Do Something Every Day. http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 15#p107458
P4. That Scares You. (WIP) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 24#p112024
P4. That Scares you. V2(WIP) http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... 30#p123374
*******
Hey everyone, I finished Lilly's happy ending today, and after calming down from the hnnngercoaster ride I put myself through (and poor Hisao) I thought I would write this, it's just a little piece of them spending time together in a dorm room at their uni/ college enjoying some free time in their studies with each-other. I hoped to capture a degree of advance in their relationship, as well as the blossoming closeness that is still developing between them as they move forwards in their lives together. I like to be descriptive when I write, but I worry about breaking into purple prose too much, am I guilty here?
Version 2! As pointed out by smex, the original lacked much in the way of taste and smell, so I have made a few additions and alterations, thanks again smex for bringing this to light.
Now onto version 3, I'll keep on playing with a few bits and pieces of the text over the weekend, but I have some ideas for some other KS fanfic that I want to get started on soon too. Final revision, gone from ~1200 words in the original to just over 1600.
***********************
Lilly and Hisao share a moment at University.
Beautiful is the only way Hisao can sum up the sight before him, he smiling as he lets his eyes dwell on her. The weather had put a damper on their plans, but Hisao didn't mind, Lilly and he were happy to just be in each-others company again. They were lucky enough to find a university that offered an excellent curriculum for both of them, as well as the assistance that Lilly would need. Hisao reassured her that the nearby hospital would be all he needed, enjoying the walks there and back for his check-ups, and the occasional reminder to take his medication.
Lilly was stood just a few paces from his rooms window, her clouded eyes closed as she listened to the raindrops play their little tune against the window panes. Hisao's eyes had adjusted to the murky light percolating through the heavy rain clouds, still steadily discharging their cargo of water to the campus below. As the water drops collected and clustered on the window, slowly tracking chaotic paths down, a trick of the light caused little dark patches to play over her face. Each patch carefully tracing out the elegant curves and details of her face, the slope of her shoulders, the almost unnoticeable dimples at the corners of her upturned smile, the fullness of her lips.
Hisao lays on his modest bed, listening with her, enjoying the quiet company, wandering if the way he sees her now, with the little fingers of moving darkness is similar to how Lilly sees him when she traces his features with her fingertips.
He lays there a while longer, his eyes slowly closing, remembering the time she used her ribbon to blindfold him as he takes a few deep breaths, the familiar exercise letting his senses sharpen. As always the first thing he notices is the steady, thumping of his fragile heart, the sound he had become so used to no longer fills him with the same fear it did back then. It only takes him a couple of long, deep breaths to immerse himself in her world, the slight smell of the cold and damp outside sneaking into the room through the plate of glass of the window, contrasting strongly with the subtle scent of Lilly's perfume; Hisao really liked this one, unable to remember the name, but the mix of roses and caramel reminded him of spring, or did spring remind him of her perfume? His mouth curls up into a smile, contemplating this. His mind returns to the room, his ears catching the subtle groaning of the bed springs, his deep breaths letting him feel each wrinkle and fold of his duvet under his back.
Lilly turns a little, tilting her head, the sound of her hair statically clinging to her sweater, the waist shifting around a little on her jeans nearly drowned out by the constant staccato of the raindrops bombarding the window.
"You're doing it again" her feet gently pace as Lilly turns herself around to face Hisao "Sometimes I don't think that it's fair you know."
Hisao sits up, bringing his knees to his chest, turning so his back is against the wall. Patting on the bed next to him, the dull thud enough for Lilly to take the few steps across the room, he holds his other hand out, his eyes still closed, her own almost instantly finding his as she nears. After taking a moment to give each-others hands a little squeeze Lilly, with her characteristic formality and poise, alights herself next to him, taking a moment to wrap her arms around his, wriggling closer, a happy sigh escaping her lips as she gets comfy.
"How do you always know?" he knots his brow in concentration as he ponders her second statement, considering how to respond.
"Your breathing always deepens a little, it's harder to notice now, but it's a sign that you're focusing, you do it when you're working through your science work too," she smiles and lets out a giggle, she always did know the exact time to interrupt his train of thought when they studied together. Such sweet times, sat across from each-other in the library, each deep in a book, their spare hand gently holding the others, as his turns pages, hers turning the little bumps in her books into words. That little intimate contact would sometimes be all they would have time for with their studies coming to a peak soon.
Hisao takes a few more breaths letting his minds eye swim through abstract fields, Lilly's perfume triggering shards of memories old and new as his mind traces links between the scent and obscure parts of his past. Coming back to here and now again he opens his eyes, letting them adjust again to the dull lighting to the room as he pensively considers his response to Lilly's second statement. He finally turns his head to her, the raindrops still playing tricks with the light across her face, as unreadable as a sphinx, eyes looking off into the unfocused distance, unseeing, and yet he fleetingly feels like he could float in those amethyst pools forever. A near-perfect poker face, except for the almost imperceptible tug at one cheek, that cute, lonely dimple the only giveaway to her mood, so we're playing? He thinks.
"What are the rules?" he asks, pleased with himself for not chuckling, wrapping his arm around her shoulders as he scans her face again, a slight furrowing of her brow and narrowing of her eyes betraying the immense amount of analysis she had invested in his short question.
"Pardon?" she says, her head tilting a little as she considers the segue, "Oh. . . " she smiles, seeing how Hisao had turned the conversation. "Well it's just that you can close your eyes, and that gives you a glimpse of my world, but I can't suddenly open mine and know yours, it's something we can't share Hisao. It's a fact for you, but I can only ever know sight and seeing, as a concept, it will always be an abstract thing beyond me," her head dips a little before she almost whispers. . . "I'm jealous sometimes."
Hisao is a little taken aback, he and Lilly were candid with each-other, always expressing their thoughts, but this confession was something he wasn't ready for especially after the years they had been together. Lilly had always avoided thinking of her lack of sight as a hindrance, although he still tried his best to avoid saying things like "See you later," or "Look at this," around her.
"Lilly, since meeting you, loving you, knowing you; my senses have become so much more open. You have shown me so many to make the most of what I have, if it wasn't for you I don't know if I could have gotten here. . ." Hisao tightens his hold on her a little, squeezing her shoulder. "You are more aware of everything in every moment than I can ever be, that I can only achieve that focus with my eyes closed, you take that clarity, that immersion of the senses for granted; I'm the jealous one Lilly." he leans over and kisses her cheek, smiling against it before pulling his lips away, licking them, noticing how dry they are, subtle flavours of her skin, maybe her moisturiser too, sneaking across the tip of his tongue.
She smiles at her knees, leaning into his hug a little more, her head resting on his shoulder as her hand finds his, entwining their fingers and letting out an other sigh. "I'm so happy right now Hisao, to think after all we've been through you can still show me a new way to see the world." she says, her voice slowly trailing off becoming a little hoarse as a tear crawls down her cheek, her smile still on her face.
"Hey," he says, his hand coming up to her face, a thumb tracing the path of the little bead of moisture, wiping it from her cheek. "I'm returning the favour, and promised I would be here for you as long as I can." he gently cradles her chin kissing her cheek again, a subtle salty pang still there from that tear, he contemplates the slight taste, the change from earlier, thinking how it reflects on how Lilly has become so accustomed to putting the feeling of others first,the bitter taste reminding Hisao how close they had become, how theirs helped each-other break down their barriers.
Her smile widened again, burying her face in his shoulder as she let out a muted little sob before bringing her face up to gaze in his direction, her arms sliding around him. "thank you." she says, her smile evolving into a grin.
He looks again into the cloudy depths of her eyes, the subdued lighting making the twinkle like opals. With moments like these having been so rare recently Hisao would have happily stared into them until it got dark, holding her close, not letting any other thought intrude into their time together, he sighs as an other tear traces it's path down her cheek before replying.
"You're wel. . . .
She waited for him to say something, his sentence going unfinished as her face moves closer, the unfinished words all she needed to guide her lips to his, their noses butting together a little before Hisao tilts his head to the side, his eyes closing again, taking a deep breath through his nose as they share a deep, affectionate kiss, the only measure of the time passing is the beating of the rain against the window, underlined by the steady drum of their hearts against each-others as their embrace tightens. . .
Last edited by turbulentDuvet on Sun Sep 23, 2012 7:03 am, edited 28 times in total.
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
- BlackRockHanako
- Posts: 89
- Joined: Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:52 pm
Re: Looking, seeing, noticing. A Fanfic for Lilly fans.
It was a nice little read, nice going!
Also, capitalize the first letter of every new sentence, even if it's in speech marks.
Also, capitalize the first letter of every new sentence, even if it's in speech marks.
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: Looking, seeing, noticing. A Fanfic for Lilly fans.
Thank you and duly noted. I pay so much attention on spelling, little thing like that usually get past when I work on my iPad. Glad you liked it BlackRockHanako
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
Re: Looking, seeing, noticing. A Fanfic for Lilly fans.
The descriptions are very rich in a way that slows down the story, but that's almost always appropriate for a Lilly fic. What's missing however is more detail in senses other than sight. You do okay with sound and there's an effort to bring in touch often, but I see almost nothing about taste and smell.
Rin > Shizune > Emi > Hanako > Lilly
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: Looking, seeing, noticing. A Fanfic for Lilly fans.
Nemz, thank you! Now that you have said it, it seems so obvious, thanks again for pointing this glaring omission out to me
Hmm, now how to incorporate these without damming the flow of the story
Hmm, now how to incorporate these without damming the flow of the story
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
Made a few revisions to it and changed the title (for the better?)
Thanks for reading ^^
Below are some concepts I've came up with for further stories, are there any in particular you would like me to pursue? (if this breaches the cya rule I'll get rid of it)
Ideas for more KS fanfics.
A reunion of the characters at an exhibition of some of Rin's art. Who is with who, how have certain relationships developed/changed? Who is Hisao with, how long after leaving school?
Lilly and Hisao decided to return to the school to teach, happy Matou! Debating what effect they would have on the student body as they can't think of any of it the faculty are handicapped or medically ill. Would having differently abled teachers benefit or hinder the staff/students?
What becomes of Hisao as he ages? "miracle" near-future treatment? Transplant? Would he and Lilly consummate their relationship with marriage? Children? Old fashioned Lilly and old fashioned ideas. Hisao the man of science. Adoption? Spending time helping the children at school taking it's toll on them and their relationship?
why am I so fixed on Hisao and Lilly's relationship? D8
Hanako and her computers, interest in media? pursues a career in media / graphics design? Editor in chief? ( how could I tie this idea into a KS related story?)
Emi meets Aimee Mullins? Role models, the role of personal pride and determination in making a disability into an ability. Overcoming the scars that aren't from the accident or the operations. Emi becomes a fitness model? Emi does a sponsored marathon for the school? Sets up a college fund in her fathers memory?
Shizune and Misha? Could there be more between them, maybe they happen across their male counterparts? Try to go their separate ways only to be pulled back together by fate? shizune realises how alone she is after leaving school, missing Misha, regretting letting her go? Could Misha help Shizune and Lilly reconcile their differences?
Shizune/Lilly reconciliation, family ties. Can they ever overcome their communication barrier?
Hanako and Miki friendship in the newsroom, their (mis)adventures, during summer. boys, toys and "this would make for a great Article!"
Yuuko and her aspirations. The mysterious owner of the Shanghai?
Nurse and his reasons for choosing where he is.
Misha finds love. Oh mah drills <3
Jigoro pisses off the wrong person? Epic fight/yelling match ensues!
Thanks for reading ^^
Below are some concepts I've came up with for further stories, are there any in particular you would like me to pursue? (if this breaches the cya rule I'll get rid of it)
Ideas for more KS fanfics.
A reunion of the characters at an exhibition of some of Rin's art. Who is with who, how have certain relationships developed/changed? Who is Hisao with, how long after leaving school?
Lilly and Hisao decided to return to the school to teach, happy Matou! Debating what effect they would have on the student body as they can't think of any of it the faculty are handicapped or medically ill. Would having differently abled teachers benefit or hinder the staff/students?
What becomes of Hisao as he ages? "miracle" near-future treatment? Transplant? Would he and Lilly consummate their relationship with marriage? Children? Old fashioned Lilly and old fashioned ideas. Hisao the man of science. Adoption? Spending time helping the children at school taking it's toll on them and their relationship?
why am I so fixed on Hisao and Lilly's relationship? D8
Hanako and her computers, interest in media? pursues a career in media / graphics design? Editor in chief? ( how could I tie this idea into a KS related story?)
Emi meets Aimee Mullins? Role models, the role of personal pride and determination in making a disability into an ability. Overcoming the scars that aren't from the accident or the operations. Emi becomes a fitness model? Emi does a sponsored marathon for the school? Sets up a college fund in her fathers memory?
Shizune and Misha? Could there be more between them, maybe they happen across their male counterparts? Try to go their separate ways only to be pulled back together by fate? shizune realises how alone she is after leaving school, missing Misha, regretting letting her go? Could Misha help Shizune and Lilly reconcile their differences?
Shizune/Lilly reconciliation, family ties. Can they ever overcome their communication barrier?
Hanako and Miki friendship in the newsroom, their (mis)adventures, during summer. boys, toys and "this would make for a great Article!"
Yuuko and her aspirations. The mysterious owner of the Shanghai?
Nurse and his reasons for choosing where he is.
Misha finds love. Oh mah drills <3
Jigoro pisses off the wrong person? Epic fight/yelling match ensues!
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
Yes please.turbulentDuvet wrote:
Hanako and Miki friendship in the newsroom, their (mis)adventures, during summer. boys, toys and "this would make for a great Article!"
Also, that was a good read! I would like to see more of your work Lilly fics are kinda hard to find.
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
More Lilly and Hisao please
When the war, has been won
And our march home begins
What awaits has not yet been revealed
What was won? what was lost?
Will our deeds be remembered?
Are they written on stone or in sand?
And our march home begins
What awaits has not yet been revealed
What was won? what was lost?
Will our deeds be remembered?
Are they written on stone or in sand?
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
hey guys, thanks for the kind words I'm still working on a presentable piece for Hisao / Lilly, regarding their indecisiveness to return to Yamaku to teach, quite enjoying writing it too.
As for the Miki / Hanako one I have a rough plot planned out, just playing through the end of Lillys arc again to get my facts straight before I dive into that one.
Might take a while as I have other non KS work to do (boo!) but I promise that your patience will be rewarded ^^
As for the Miki / Hanako one I have a rough plot planned out, just playing through the end of Lillys arc again to get my facts straight before I dive into that one.
Might take a while as I have other non KS work to do (boo!) but I promise that your patience will be rewarded ^^
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
O Sole Mio <3
O Sole Mio.
Hisao chuckles as he and Lilly think back through the last few years, they have their degrees, and most of all, they still have each-other. Sat in the Shanghai together again they can't help feeling nostalgic. . .
He gives Lilly's hand a squeeze, his thumb gently rubbing the engagement ring on her finger. They eloped as soon as they had their degree's finished, taking a trip through Europe with the blessing of her parents, who gladly footed the bill. After the anonimity Hisao had engendered through 'stealing away' their daughter, a few good words from Akira and a lot of hard work, both in and out of University had endeared him to them, giving him their blessing to propose.
He proposed when they were in Italy, Lilly had been keen to go to an Opera that evening. It had taken him a great deal of sneaking off and broken-Italian to sort out but Lilly loved it, there they were in the evening sun being pushed along by their gondolier, the water swishing quietly as the boat moved forward. Lilly was sat between his legs leaning back, his arms wrapped around her as they neared the bridge, he gave a wave and they struck up singing 'O sole Mio,' (lit: my sun) as they neared.
Lilly's face lit up just as he knew it would, recognising the music almost immediately, her hands flying up to her face as she let out a rare, and very girly squeal. He brushed and rubbed her hands as she sat there eyes closed as the gondolier stopped the boat for them, even he let out a whistful sigh as he watched the lovers enrapt with eachother, the music, the moment.
Hisao kept hold of her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger without ceremony or stopping to ask, hoping that the music would keep her occupied whilst he continued to hold her hand tight.
"Grazie tante," Hisao says to the tarantellas as they take a bow and walk of, striking up into an other song, filling the still evening air with more joy. He kissed her hand and she came out of her reverie, putting her hands in her lap and almost jumping as she felt the ring when she went to knit her fingers together. She let her right hand spin the new ring around her left ring finger, feeling it, touching it almost as if she couldn't believe it was there. She even lifted it before her face just looking into the unfocused distance with her opalescent eyes, her left hand suspended in front of her face as the moment, the meaning sank in. She sat there still as a statue for what felt to Hisao like a small eternity, watching the sunlight making her hair and skin glow as the sun peeked through the buildings, their gondolier continuing to take them to the Teatro San Carlo.
She turned with almost mechanical precision, squeezing Hisaos hands tight with hers, smiling demurely through free-flowing tears as they pour down her face. She relinquishes her grip on his hands after a moment and brings they up to his face, tracing his features for the first time in a while, her face so close to his it was as if she was really looking into his eyes, he could feel the exhalations from her nose on his face. She slid herself into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing the last few inches and pressing her lips to his, every moment of their time together culminating there and then, each enjoying each-others proximity, this one irreplaceable moment of utter happiness with each-other.
They hadn't noticed the gondola had stopped, or that they had an audience. The gondolier gave as respectful and quiet an 'ahem' as he could to get their attention. Lilly gave an enquisitive 'hmm' as Hisao broke the kiss. He looked up and around, his asian features turning blushing. Lilly felt the heat coming off him as his face slowly went through a spectrum of shades from light pink to deep crimson.
"Hisao? Are you alright?" she asked out of genuine concern, her hand going to his chest. . .
"Heck Hisao, I'de expect a lot more than that for a rock as big as that!" Akira yelled out, failing to even try to stifle the rauchous laughter that followed.
The Satou family werestood on the pier. Their faces betrayed a swathe of emotions from humour to awkwardness, happiness to bashfullness, Mr Satou just smiled whilst Lilly's mother wasn't sure where she should look or what to say, her mouth forming half-words before she stopped herself.
Hisao swallowed hard, his face taking a more pinkish hue now he had recovered from the suprise. but Lilly had started to blush at Akiras' comment, her own beautiful face, framed by her golden bangs blushing,
"Hisao my boy," MrSatou said, "If you're half as passionate about anything else as you were then, I have no doubts that you will be an excellent husband to my daughter, and a wonderful son-in-law," he beamed as he walked over and helped Lilly up out of the gondola, even her iron resolve diminished given the suprises the evening had already held, her knees visibly shaking as her father helped her out fo the boat.
"Thank you, dad," Hisao said, his voice breaking with the last word, he had control of his body but his voice betrayed his own nervousness and suprise.
Akira grabbed them both in her arms and hugged them tight, "Congratulations you two," she said as she embraced them.
Lilly finally said something, her normal fascade slowly slipping back into place as she cracks a beautiful smile, "I think I need a drink." she giggled as she returned Akira's hug.
Akira bursts out laughing as she guided Hisao and Lilly up the stairs, Mr and Mrs Satou following behind arm in arm, smiling as their family got a little bigger.
"Wait until you see the seats dad got us guys..." Akira started, leaping between conresation topics trying to catch up with her sister in the walk to the theatre.
And that is about as romantic a scene as I could think of boys and girls. This was supposed to be about Lilly and Hisao discussing whether or not they awere going to go back to Yamaku as teachers . . . Guess I got sidetracked. Please ready, review and critique <3
Hisao chuckles as he and Lilly think back through the last few years, they have their degrees, and most of all, they still have each-other. Sat in the Shanghai together again they can't help feeling nostalgic. . .
He gives Lilly's hand a squeeze, his thumb gently rubbing the engagement ring on her finger. They eloped as soon as they had their degree's finished, taking a trip through Europe with the blessing of her parents, who gladly footed the bill. After the anonimity Hisao had engendered through 'stealing away' their daughter, a few good words from Akira and a lot of hard work, both in and out of University had endeared him to them, giving him their blessing to propose.
He proposed when they were in Italy, Lilly had been keen to go to an Opera that evening. It had taken him a great deal of sneaking off and broken-Italian to sort out but Lilly loved it, there they were in the evening sun being pushed along by their gondolier, the water swishing quietly as the boat moved forward. Lilly was sat between his legs leaning back, his arms wrapped around her as they neared the bridge, he gave a wave and they struck up singing 'O sole Mio,' (lit: my sun) as they neared.
Lilly's face lit up just as he knew it would, recognising the music almost immediately, her hands flying up to her face as she let out a rare, and very girly squeal. He brushed and rubbed her hands as she sat there eyes closed as the gondolier stopped the boat for them, even he let out a whistful sigh as he watched the lovers enrapt with eachother, the music, the moment.
Hisao kept hold of her hand, sliding the ring onto her finger without ceremony or stopping to ask, hoping that the music would keep her occupied whilst he continued to hold her hand tight.
"Grazie tante," Hisao says to the tarantellas as they take a bow and walk of, striking up into an other song, filling the still evening air with more joy. He kissed her hand and she came out of her reverie, putting her hands in her lap and almost jumping as she felt the ring when she went to knit her fingers together. She let her right hand spin the new ring around her left ring finger, feeling it, touching it almost as if she couldn't believe it was there. She even lifted it before her face just looking into the unfocused distance with her opalescent eyes, her left hand suspended in front of her face as the moment, the meaning sank in. She sat there still as a statue for what felt to Hisao like a small eternity, watching the sunlight making her hair and skin glow as the sun peeked through the buildings, their gondolier continuing to take them to the Teatro San Carlo.
She turned with almost mechanical precision, squeezing Hisaos hands tight with hers, smiling demurely through free-flowing tears as they pour down her face. She relinquishes her grip on his hands after a moment and brings they up to his face, tracing his features for the first time in a while, her face so close to his it was as if she was really looking into his eyes, he could feel the exhalations from her nose on his face. She slid herself into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, closing the last few inches and pressing her lips to his, every moment of their time together culminating there and then, each enjoying each-others proximity, this one irreplaceable moment of utter happiness with each-other.
They hadn't noticed the gondola had stopped, or that they had an audience. The gondolier gave as respectful and quiet an 'ahem' as he could to get their attention. Lilly gave an enquisitive 'hmm' as Hisao broke the kiss. He looked up and around, his asian features turning blushing. Lilly felt the heat coming off him as his face slowly went through a spectrum of shades from light pink to deep crimson.
"Hisao? Are you alright?" she asked out of genuine concern, her hand going to his chest. . .
"Heck Hisao, I'de expect a lot more than that for a rock as big as that!" Akira yelled out, failing to even try to stifle the rauchous laughter that followed.
The Satou family werestood on the pier. Their faces betrayed a swathe of emotions from humour to awkwardness, happiness to bashfullness, Mr Satou just smiled whilst Lilly's mother wasn't sure where she should look or what to say, her mouth forming half-words before she stopped herself.
Hisao swallowed hard, his face taking a more pinkish hue now he had recovered from the suprise. but Lilly had started to blush at Akiras' comment, her own beautiful face, framed by her golden bangs blushing,
"Hisao my boy," MrSatou said, "If you're half as passionate about anything else as you were then, I have no doubts that you will be an excellent husband to my daughter, and a wonderful son-in-law," he beamed as he walked over and helped Lilly up out of the gondola, even her iron resolve diminished given the suprises the evening had already held, her knees visibly shaking as her father helped her out fo the boat.
"Thank you, dad," Hisao said, his voice breaking with the last word, he had control of his body but his voice betrayed his own nervousness and suprise.
Akira grabbed them both in her arms and hugged them tight, "Congratulations you two," she said as she embraced them.
Lilly finally said something, her normal fascade slowly slipping back into place as she cracks a beautiful smile, "I think I need a drink." she giggled as she returned Akira's hug.
Akira bursts out laughing as she guided Hisao and Lilly up the stairs, Mr and Mrs Satou following behind arm in arm, smiling as their family got a little bigger.
"Wait until you see the seats dad got us guys..." Akira started, leaping between conresation topics trying to catch up with her sister in the walk to the theatre.
And that is about as romantic a scene as I could think of boys and girls. This was supposed to be about Lilly and Hisao discussing whether or not they awere going to go back to Yamaku as teachers . . . Guess I got sidetracked. Please ready, review and critique <3
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Toe rings and other things.
Toe Rings and other Things.
Hisao rolled over, his thoughts taking on a chaotic pattern as he looks at rin next to him, her apparent attention on one of the ceiling tiles of their atelier, but he knew better.
"Are they pretty?" He whispers to her.
"Yes. No. They're the same but different again, and the wings are fluttering, but they don't move," She says back, unable to break her open-eyed gaze from the daydream that has her so occupied.
This was a familiar routine for Hisao, but he still loved it, her waking dreams, litttle flashes of inspiration for her work. Butterflies again he thought. Despite the time they had been together Rin was still fixated with the concept of change, but through some long, convoluted. . debates? no, exchanges of concepts would be a better description, although a little more vague. She smiled when she worked now, her concentration still obvious as she went into her little world, pouring herself onto canvas with deft strokes, the engagement ring he bought her usually on a chain around her neck when she worked.
He plafully tickled the bottom of her feet with his, gently rubbing the tip of his big toe up and down the soft soles of her feet. Her dreaming visage slowly fades as her head comes out of the clouds and her deep green eyes lock with his as her head turns, she rolls over and gave him a quick kiss, smiling at him as he wraped his arm around her.
"They are so hard to paint, like pebbles and fast water, you think you see it, but it's different. . ." She pauses and her smile faded, quickly analyzing Hisao's face, making sure he wasn't confused yet before continuing. "Like us, we change, but we are still us," she said point of fact as her smile returns and she wriggles closer into his arms.
"I love you too Rin," Hisao said as he kisses the top of her head, "And a lot can change, but I won't ever let us go back to you and me," He said to the mess of red hair nuzzling his chest.
She lets out a deep breath, her fever-warm body leaning against his. She was always so warm, he marveled to himself as he matched his breathing to hers, knowing it would help her get back to sleep, she would need the rest, she's always at her most creative after butterflies nowadays.
After Yamaku, and the Atelier, and the gallery, Rin had focused on them for a while, doing her thing in her own way to do her best to make the most of being with Hisao. that focus was a little unnerving for him at first, but it was so sweet of Rin, and it helped them to come closer, not so much by breaking down the walls, but by bridging the communications gap. Rin wasn't unable to express herself with words, it was just that her mind was so used to the abstract concepts of her mind that blessed her as an artist. After Hisao took the time to consider what she was saying it didn't take long for the shorthand they had started to develop way back at the murial, mixing paints, to grow almost into it's own little language.
As this unique dialogue blossomed he got to see more of the inner Rin. . . Rin at her Rinniest he had said to her once, her head tilted to the side as she thought about it before she nodded, satisfied with his analogy. As they grew closer, she certaintly had an effect on him, but he was affecting her too, some of her art lost it's abstract nature, things, cars, people, animals were recognisable. Other times the once convoluted and complex mixtures of themes and ideas would give way to a canvas that was shades of blue. she painted that one a few days after a weekend they spend in Okinawa.
Rin wanted to go see the men in angry white pyjamas, and all Hisao could think of was how they looked like clouds as they moved up and down the dojo. Hisao shared this thought with her as they spent the night in a hotel, Rin had gotten her India ink out and had started sketching out some glorious people in impossible stances, their arms and legs making no anatomical sense, yet portraying the fluid movement perfectly. She looked up at him and smiles, not noticing the ink dripping onto the page. Hisao blushed, still not used to seeing Rin pausing in her work back then. But the idea had stuck. they watched the clouds all morning the next day, Rin was upset that it wasn't late enough in the spring for the dandelions to have turned into the little fluffy balls of seeds yet, but the clouds were plentiful on their backdrop of blues.
He looked at the mess of red hair , the only other part of her he could see from this angle was her shoulders. He then thought about how her hair almost looked blue in the subdued twilight of their room, then back to the blue canvas and giggles as he thought 'it's funny how your mind can fill in the gaps if you think you know what your looking at' and he gave her delicate little frame the slightest of squeezes, happy at that moment, wandering what new little thing about this amazing girl she would reveal to him next. How they would fall more in love, would it be a new picture, some half-mumbled words, maybe a particular look as she dwells on something he says. All Hisao could think was that there was no one else he would rather be with, and no one else who could show him the world the way Rin does.
Hisao rolled over, his thoughts taking on a chaotic pattern as he looks at rin next to him, her apparent attention on one of the ceiling tiles of their atelier, but he knew better.
"Are they pretty?" He whispers to her.
"Yes. No. They're the same but different again, and the wings are fluttering, but they don't move," She says back, unable to break her open-eyed gaze from the daydream that has her so occupied.
This was a familiar routine for Hisao, but he still loved it, her waking dreams, litttle flashes of inspiration for her work. Butterflies again he thought. Despite the time they had been together Rin was still fixated with the concept of change, but through some long, convoluted. . debates? no, exchanges of concepts would be a better description, although a little more vague. She smiled when she worked now, her concentration still obvious as she went into her little world, pouring herself onto canvas with deft strokes, the engagement ring he bought her usually on a chain around her neck when she worked.
He plafully tickled the bottom of her feet with his, gently rubbing the tip of his big toe up and down the soft soles of her feet. Her dreaming visage slowly fades as her head comes out of the clouds and her deep green eyes lock with his as her head turns, she rolls over and gave him a quick kiss, smiling at him as he wraped his arm around her.
"They are so hard to paint, like pebbles and fast water, you think you see it, but it's different. . ." She pauses and her smile faded, quickly analyzing Hisao's face, making sure he wasn't confused yet before continuing. "Like us, we change, but we are still us," she said point of fact as her smile returns and she wriggles closer into his arms.
"I love you too Rin," Hisao said as he kisses the top of her head, "And a lot can change, but I won't ever let us go back to you and me," He said to the mess of red hair nuzzling his chest.
She lets out a deep breath, her fever-warm body leaning against his. She was always so warm, he marveled to himself as he matched his breathing to hers, knowing it would help her get back to sleep, she would need the rest, she's always at her most creative after butterflies nowadays.
After Yamaku, and the Atelier, and the gallery, Rin had focused on them for a while, doing her thing in her own way to do her best to make the most of being with Hisao. that focus was a little unnerving for him at first, but it was so sweet of Rin, and it helped them to come closer, not so much by breaking down the walls, but by bridging the communications gap. Rin wasn't unable to express herself with words, it was just that her mind was so used to the abstract concepts of her mind that blessed her as an artist. After Hisao took the time to consider what she was saying it didn't take long for the shorthand they had started to develop way back at the murial, mixing paints, to grow almost into it's own little language.
As this unique dialogue blossomed he got to see more of the inner Rin. . . Rin at her Rinniest he had said to her once, her head tilted to the side as she thought about it before she nodded, satisfied with his analogy. As they grew closer, she certaintly had an effect on him, but he was affecting her too, some of her art lost it's abstract nature, things, cars, people, animals were recognisable. Other times the once convoluted and complex mixtures of themes and ideas would give way to a canvas that was shades of blue. she painted that one a few days after a weekend they spend in Okinawa.
Rin wanted to go see the men in angry white pyjamas, and all Hisao could think of was how they looked like clouds as they moved up and down the dojo. Hisao shared this thought with her as they spent the night in a hotel, Rin had gotten her India ink out and had started sketching out some glorious people in impossible stances, their arms and legs making no anatomical sense, yet portraying the fluid movement perfectly. She looked up at him and smiles, not noticing the ink dripping onto the page. Hisao blushed, still not used to seeing Rin pausing in her work back then. But the idea had stuck. they watched the clouds all morning the next day, Rin was upset that it wasn't late enough in the spring for the dandelions to have turned into the little fluffy balls of seeds yet, but the clouds were plentiful on their backdrop of blues.
He looked at the mess of red hair , the only other part of her he could see from this angle was her shoulders. He then thought about how her hair almost looked blue in the subdued twilight of their room, then back to the blue canvas and giggles as he thought 'it's funny how your mind can fill in the gaps if you think you know what your looking at' and he gave her delicate little frame the slightest of squeezes, happy at that moment, wandering what new little thing about this amazing girl she would reveal to him next. How they would fall more in love, would it be a new picture, some half-mumbled words, maybe a particular look as she dwells on something he says. All Hisao could think was that there was no one else he would rather be with, and no one else who could show him the world the way Rin does.
Last edited by turbulentDuvet on Thu May 17, 2012 5:00 am, edited 1 time in total.
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
Re: turbulentDuvet's KS Fanfics <3
A nice little Rin story there. Good philosophizing.
That said, you changed tenses a few times and used 'could' when you meant 'cloud' in several places.
That said, you changed tenses a few times and used 'could' when you meant 'cloud' in several places.
I found out about Katawa Shoujo through the forums of Misfile. There, I am the editor of Misfiled Dreams.
Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin
Griffon8's Writing
Completed: 100%, including bonus picture. Shizune>Emi>Lilly>Hanako>Rin
Griffon8's Writing
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
Or you could see how many of those ideas you can fit into the same story!turbulentDuvet wrote: Ideas for more KS fanfics.
A reunion of the characters at an exhibition of some of Rin's art. Who is with who, how have certain relationships developed/changed? Who is Hisao with, how long after leaving school?
Lilly and Hisao decided to return to the school to teach, happy Matou! Debating what effect they would have on the student body as they can't think of any of it the faculty are handicapped or medically ill. Would having differently abled teachers benefit or hinder the staff/students?
What becomes of Hisao as he ages? "miracle" near-future treatment? Transplant? Would he and Lilly consummate their relationship with marriage? Children? Old fashioned Lilly and old fashioned ideas. Hisao the man of science. Adoption? Spending time helping the children at school taking it's toll on them and their relationship?
why am I so fixed on Hisao and Lilly's relationship? D8
Hanako and her computers, interest in media? pursues a career in media / graphics design? Editor in chief? ( how could I tie this idea into a KS related story?)
Emi meets Aimee Mullins? Role models, the role of personal pride and determination in making a disability into an ability. Overcoming the scars that aren't from the accident or the operations. Emi becomes a fitness model? Emi does a sponsored marathon for the school? Sets up a college fund in her fathers memory?
Shizune and Misha? Could there be more between them, maybe they happen across their male counterparts? Try to go their separate ways only to be pulled back together by fate? shizune realises how alone she is after leaving school, missing Misha, regretting letting her go? Could Misha help Shizune and Lilly reconcile their differences?
Shizune/Lilly reconciliation, family ties. Can they ever overcome their communication barrier?
Hanako and Miki friendship in the newsroom, their (mis)adventures, during summer. boys, toys and "this would make for a great Article!"
Yuuko and her aspirations. The mysterious owner of the Shanghai?
Nurse and his reasons for choosing where he is.
Misha finds love. Oh mah drills <3
Jigoro pisses off the wrong person? Epic fight/yelling match ensues!
Not Dead Yet
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: turbulentDuvet's KS Fanfics <3
Went through with a grammar comb, I think I got it all :/ thanks for letting me know ^^ Really glad that you liked it.griffon8 wrote:A nice little Rin story there. Good philosophizing.
That said, you changed tenses a few times and used 'could' when you meant 'cloud' in several places.
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.
- turbulentDuvet
- Posts: 62
- Joined: Tue May 01, 2012 10:04 am
Re: Seeing things my way,A Fanfic for Lilly fans. (final)
I think even my convoluted throught patterns would pitch a spaz if I tried something like that @w@ Not saying it's a bad idea. . . Hmmm, Shiina TKOs Jigoro, resulting in epic Shizune greatfulness. . . harem scene ensues >:3Oddball wrote:Or you could see how many of those ideas you can fit into the same story!
Also @Spry if you're still reading this, I'm still playing with the Miki / Hanako summer trip thing, just taking my time to do it right ^^
People are like chemicals, they only need to come together once and they can change eachother forever.