Shower Scenes

Guestimate · Post by **Guestimate** » Sat May 12, 2012 6:29 pm

That, good sir, was frankly amazing.

Mirage_GSM · Post by **Mirage_GSM** » Sat May 12, 2012 7:00 pm

Seeing the length of some other writer's chapters here, you probably could have used one post with no problems.
Also, few mistakes for so many rewrites. Two or three tenses that I noticed and at one point you only say "she" when Miki is speaking.
Oh, and before I forget - this was hilarious.

Oddball · Post by **Oddball** » Sat May 12, 2012 7:06 pm

Also, few mistakes for so many rewrites. Two or three tenses that I noticed and at one point you only say "she" when Miki is speaking.

Honestly, I think I reached the point where the rewrites were hurting more than they were helping.

But glad you liked it all the same.

Bagheera · Post by **Bagheera** » Sat May 12, 2012 7:26 pm

This was funnier than it had any right to be. I mean, there's no content here at all, but somehow it still works. Nice work! I wouldn't worry about the rewrites; all it needs is a bit of editing and you can easily call it a day.

Hoitash · Post by **Hoitash** » Sat May 12, 2012 9:46 pm

There are no words for the awesome hilarity that this is

The O.H.L. · Post by **The O.H.L.** » Sun May 13, 2012 11:15 am

That was glorious. Magnificent. Awesome. Just damn hilarious. I have a huge grin on my face.
Funniest part for me was probably where Misha (I think) said "It's not polite to point". I had to stop reading for a short moment while I read that.

I think there are just a few places where you forgot the t in the.

Roamin12 · Post by **Roamin12** » Sun May 13, 2012 12:08 pm

My sides are hurting so bad right now! That was hilarious. Well done!

EmiBro · Post by **EmiBro** » Sun May 13, 2012 5:55 pm

Dear God, this was the funniest KS fanfic I ever read.

themocaw · Post by **themocaw** » Tue May 15, 2012 7:30 pm

My sides keep moving on their own.

The Hero Hartmut · Post by **The Hero Hartmut** » Wed May 16, 2012 5:44 pm

...Heh. I could sort of imagine my OC (being Yamado Kazuya, a narcoleptic second year student who lives on the same floor as Hisao and Kenji) having non-participatory bit parts in this, between Hisao determining that he's definitely asleep just before checking on Kenji, and him stumbling upon what's happening while half-awake and realising to his dismay that he probably wouldn't remember what happened when he wakes up next (or, if he did remember, he'd likely dismiss it as a dream, since, according to what I've read, narcoleptics often tend to go into a sort of auto-pilot mode and not remember things they did while in that blurry stupor).

I rather like this. It seems rather convenient that it's only the girls that Hisao knows that all happen to end up in his room, but you seem to have their characters down pretty damn well. I openly chuckled a few times, too, as everyone else seems to have done.

nevrop68 · Post by **nevrop68** » Wed May 16, 2012 6:29 pm

I literally laughed out loud about 3 times and trust me. It was loud! I absolutely love this. I want more!

Oddball · Post by **Oddball** » Wed May 16, 2012 6:42 pm

I've got some good news, I've got some bad news, and I've got some news that is possibly good but you might not care about.

Bad news. I'm going on vacation in a few days so this story won't be finished until sometime next month when I get back.

Good news. Instead of having just one more final chapter, you can expect one more final chapter and then an additional extra chapter that doesn't quite fit but still goes along with the themes.

And the OTHER news... the second chapter of this is kind of a mess. You may have noticed that. So I'm going to make you an offer. I need original character for an upcoming story. Lots of original characters. So, find an error in the previous chapter, PM me the correction, along with an original character of your own, and I'll make sure they show up. Don't worry. I promise to treat your characters with as much dignity and respect as I do the main cast, if not less.

That way, everybody wins! ... unless this is seen as making a request, instead of an even exchange. If it is, I apologize, and feel free to just delete this post.

Remember Don't post the stuff in this topic. PM it.

Brogurt · Post by **Brogurt** » Wed May 16, 2012 9:08 pm

Oddball wrote:you can expect one more final chapter and then an additional extra chapter that doesn't quite fit but still goes along with the themes

Let me guess; you're gonna go full fluffandcrunch and write some CURAYZEE porn just for the attention

Bagheera · Post by **Bagheera** » Wed May 16, 2012 9:12 pm

Brogurt wrote:
Oddball wrote:you can expect one more final chapter and then an additional extra chapter that doesn't quite fit but still goes along with the themes
Let me guess; you're gonna go full fluffandcrunch and write some CURAYZEE porn just for the attention

Now now. Nothin' wrong with porn.

Brogurt · Post by **Brogurt** » Wed May 16, 2012 9:35 pm

Bagheera wrote:
Now now. Nothin' wrong with porn.

Not intrinsically, but if you whore it about like a mofo, then it gets kind of dumb.
Of course, the same could be said of any writing, but people know that it's a lot easier to get away with a lot of things when it's porn

Katawa Shoujo Forums

Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes

Re: Shower Scenes