Lover's Gasp, Lover's Grasp

[Sperance]

I'll admit, the soul comment made me cackle like a madman, specially when it was followed with "awesome power". I has to wonder what the hell was she thinking. Another nice chapter, can't wait to read more

[xaolindragon]

Note to self: buy Rin clothing that does not include NOT yoga pants or tank tops.

I would say try avoiding double negatives. I kinda got the meaning, but after reading it through a few times.

[CarnivalNights]

It feels weird having Rin contact Hanako and in general for Rin to actively seek her out.

I do enjoy the story though. Will you include any other game characters?

[Mahorfeus]

Note to self: buy Rin clothing that does not include NOT yoga pants or tank tops.

I would say try avoiding double negatives. I kinda got the meaning, but after reading it through a few times.

In agreement here, that part did throw me off a little.

Just to be sure, was it along the lines of "Buy Rin more yoga pants and tank tops"?

[MintySocks]

Thanks for all of the proofreading- edits have been made!
Specifically, WolfStreak, xaolindragon and Mahorfeus (nope, you were wrong -___-)

@Carnival Nights: Yes! More characters will be appearing. I have mini-arcs planned for Emi and Lilly so far, but I have NO idea if I want to or even can properly integrate anyone else into this specific story.

[Mahorfeus]

Thanks for all of the proofreading- edits have been made!
Specifically, WolfStreak, xaolindragon and Mahorfeus (nope, you were wrong -___-)

Double negatives have left me in despair!

That part's a lot clearer to me now, funny how much impact one word has.

[MintySocks]

AAHH good god I am sorry for not updating for like three weeks. I am a bad person

In other news, MORE writing! It's over here: http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t=6021

[Elcor]

Your not a bad person.
Looking forward to the next chapter.

[Enemy |]

Very amusing. Looking forward for the rest