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After I did that sensible oneshot in my other thread, I kinda liked it.
So I started another one, featuring the two Newspaper Club members at the back of 3-3, Natsume Ooe and Naomi Inoue.
Then it turned into a rather long oneshot.
Then I thought "If I were to make it multi-chaptered, this is exactly where I'd end this chapter".
Then I actually did.

This first chapter features an epileptic seizure. I've actively done my best to make it as unsettling and uncomfortable to read as possible. So please, if you're sensitive on the subject, be wary.
That being said, this isn't tumblr. I suppose you lot actually have some mental fortitude

Feedback and Criticism greatly appreciated, and thanks a lot to d2r for being my guinea pig of higher intelligence.

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Chapter 1
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Chapter 2a.
Chapter 2b.
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Chapter 3a.
Chapter 3b.
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Chapter 1
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The dry, tart stench of medicine surrounds me and the fluorescent lighting in this room begins to hurt my eyes. The rigid plastic chairs they provide for visitors is enough to almost make you feel unwelcome, despite the forced smiles on the doctors' faces as they patrol the room numbly checking on the students resting here.

Eugh, the infirmary. I hate being here. I know some students like the security of being so close to medical help, but I'd rather not be around the hospital half of Yamaku. It just serves as a constant reminder that we're more 'fragile' than your average student. The way I see it, the further away you are, the less you are reminded. Not that my Arthritis is too bad, compared to some other kid's problems, but I'd rather not be here all the same. They say you're only here when something's going wrong... or has gone wrong.

Something like your best friend suddenly having a seizure whilst talking your entire class through a presentation. I wouldn't say that it's the best start to a Wednesday, really. It puts a bit of a downer on your day.

Naomi lies on the bed beside me, still unconscious.
She'll be out for a while yet, considering she only finished the seizure about fifteen minutes ago. When she wakes, she'll be confused and maybe a little skittish. Once she tried to run, but thankfully didn't get very far. It takes a little extra rest for her to be able to effectively walk again, after all.
And yet after all this, she somehow becomes her usual self. Her laughing, joking, smiling self.

I look up at her sleeping and note how peaceful she looks. It's almost funny how vastly different her seizures are compared to her recoveries. Her post-seizure stages are always so peaceful and strangely serene, whereas the seizures themselves are... Oh God, they're horrible.

Today she was reading through a presentation we had made on Ionic Bonding in Metals the previous night.
She had complained that her arms and legs were feeling 'tingly', which is one of her warnings. Unfortunately, this can either mean she's got anything from five minutes to an hour before anything happens, and sometimes it can even be a false alarm! We decided to wing it anyway and perform the presentation regardless. Naomi doesn't like to let her epilepsy get in the way of her life.

I remember she was halfway through a sentence when she stopped and her eyelids half-closed. She looked towards me, at the back of the class, and managed to murmur the first half of my name when her legs gave way. Professor Mutou managed to catch her before she hit the floor, but Naomi's head had already collided with the good professor's desk on the way down.

I tried to get up quickly, but my knees were too stiff. I stumbled towards the front and shoved Maeda out of the way, who was no doubt filming the whole thing on his phone. My knees screamed in pain as I dropped to Naomi's side, where her seizure was in full swing. Her jaw was clenching and opening, left arm flailing, feet kicking and her back was arching back and forth. Drool and tears flowing from her face and her eyes rolled far back.
I hate seeing her like this.

I tried rousing her.
I rocked her contorting body and begged her to wake up. I pleaded her to stop, reprimanding her for joking around, but it was pointless. She wasn't even conscious... And it was only when Professor Mutou took off his jacket and folded it under her head that I realised she was bleeding. I wanted to run, but I knew she'd want me there. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't bare anyone to see me like this. I wanted to scream, but consciously I know it wouldn't have helped anything. There was nothing that I could do, I felt so pathetic.

Mutou put his hand on my shoulder and smiled in his aloof and strangely calming manner. He then said something to me, something that I was far too emotional to even comprehend, and stood to talk to the class. My attention was on Naomi and how much I wish this never would have happened. I noticed a warmth on my knees, and saw she'd lost control of her bladder too. I could hear the class talking in worried tones, but nothing that I could be bothered to listen to. All that mattered to me was that my best friend was going through a sleeping hell and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it.

I clenched my eyes shut and let the tears fall, but it's then I realised the worst part. Without the horrible sight before me, my focus turned to something else. The noise.
Her teeth clacking together sent shivers down my spine, along with the dulled impact of her head hitting floor making me wince with each thud. My restrained sobbing added salt to the wound, the whole menagerie being backed up with the sounds of my own pathetic tears. It was bad, but nothing could compare to the gurgled and strained noise she was making from her own throat. The silent moan was dotted with the quick gasps and pants of her body trying breathe despite her brain's chaos. I knew she couldn't feel it, nor remember it, but it just sounded so... unnatural. So wrong.

A shuffle from the bed beside me brings me back to reality.

Naomi seems to be waking up. Her eyes are open and scanning the room, but it's obvious she isn't quite 'awake' yet.
I put my hand on her shoulder and smile, "Hey there,"
She looks at me wide eyed and watches my mouth. She opens her own to speak, but nothing decipherable comes out. She makes a few noises and looks around, slowly calming and quieting her attempt at speech. She finally looks up to me again and lazily brings her arms above the bed covers.

"Natsss..."
I shush her. If nothing else, she still needs to rest a bit longer. She looks down, almost ashamed with herself. No matter how much I hate seeing her go through this, I know she despises it even more.

"No, Nat..."
She bats away my hand on her shoulder and sits up a bit. She's speaking again, but it's heavily slurred and her voice is hoarse.
"I'm... I'm reeaaaaaally... really sorry..."

"Naomi, you know it's not your fault, it's not like you have a choice to do... that!"
Neither of us ever refer to it directly, her epilepsy. It just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
"Like you say, it's just something that happens-"

"But I... I knew it was going to happen, d-didn't I? I should have just told M... Told Mutou and left it for the day!"

"Nay..."
She reaches up to itch her head and feels the bandage across the left side of her scalp. She winces in pain when she feels it and looks me in the eye.

"What's..?"

"You kinda hit your head..."

"This is wh-what I mean," She sighs. "I could have fucking died."

Those last five words hit me hard.
She's right. How close was she to dying in that classroom? A few centimetres to the left? What if she had hit her temple? What if she had died?!
What would the school do? What would Mutou do? What would Naomi's Mother do?

What would I do?

Naomi's been here as long as I have, since the day I cautiously made my way to my new dorm room. Two fresh students reaching their doors at the same time, mere metres away from eachother. We exchanged a smile as we both reached for our respective doors... and the rest is history.
She's always been there for me and I've always been there for her. I really can't imagine it any other way.

Life here at Yamaku is hard, but none of it really seems to be that bad when you have a pretty girl your age to do it all with. Someone who shares your sense of humour, someone who is genuinely fun to talk to, someone who doesn't mind stopping every ten minutes for a break. Someone in this sea of cold doctors, seemingly clueless teachers and annoying students, who really does care about you.
Without Naomi, I'd be lost.

A thumb grazes across my cheek, wiping away a tear. When did I start crying?
"Hey come on now, I didn't mean it like that! It's just... Shit happens, y'know?"
Naomi sits up and smiles softly.
"I just don't think you'd appreciate hanging around someone who has to wear one of those pink foam helmets everywhere she goes."

I do one of those awkward crying-laughs and pull her into a hug, burying my face in her collar. I don't know anyone else who can go from 'morbid reality' to 'hilarious situation' so quickly, but I'm so glad she can.
She rubs my back and laughs at the strange noise I'd just made, teasing me and making the atmosphere around us so much lighter. Back from the brink of lucidity with a grin for two, this is the Naomi I know and love.
Love as a friend, I mean.
Right?

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[Next]

Nicely done.

It seems... Morbidly realistic, vibrant even in being a relatively dark and dismal subject. If that makes any real sense.

You're making me absolutely thank God that I've never witnessed a grand-mal seizure in person. Giving me a good idea of what it'd be like to watch and understand what's happening as you're having one 'unfold' in front of you, and it's a pretty scary thing to think about being a possibility. Although on the same token you're able to give that warmth of a good deep friendship, the interdependence on one another and simple unimaginable reality that is not having that person around.

Really, really like it.

I liked it. As an epileptic myself, I've always found it interesting when one of the main characters has it too, even if it's FAR more severe than mine is(I have the mildest form possible), so I have experience in waking up after a seizure. You are very confused.

As for the story itself so far, It's always nice to focus on someone other than Hisao or one of the main six main girls. You have my interest.

Besides the *fluorescent fittings, this piece has a nice luminosity about it.
Your serious stuff is a serious competitor to your not-so-serious stuff. There's a solid grittiness about it.

I have a brother with epilepsy. He was playing Earthbound one day, and the trippy backgrounds of the fighting sequences triggered a pretty severe seizure. It was among the scariest, most disturbing phenomena I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life. Despite this, I don't hold a grudge with Earthbound. It's a pretty sweet game. Very quirky.

ANYwho, I may or may not have had difficulties reading this...

I love any fanfic that goes into the dynamic between Natsume and Naomi. They're an interesting pair, and usually done pretty believably. This fits under that so far, I hope it continues and goes really well.

As people have mentioned, excellently done. I'm lucky to, like AntonSlavik, have one of the mildest forms of epilepsy, so though I've never experienced anything even near the scope of this piece, I have a general understanding of the process, the different triggers, how incredibly weird it is to wake up from a seizure, and having to reassure people who had to watch. As perhaps the most jarring piece in this scene, it was well-written, so props for getting it right.

On the topic of the rest of the scene, couldn't see much wrong with it, and the characters seemed to be connecting pretty well, so if you need my opinion, I'd love to see more. I will say, though, that this

Munchenhausen wrote:Right?

made me point at the screen with an apprehensive look on my face. It's either the most or least important line in the whole thing, and I can't tell which. Until I can, keep up the good work!

Wow. This was really great. The seizure was brilliantly written. Seeing it described in horrifying detail like that was really shocking, given that the most experience with seizures I've had was skimming the Wikipedia article. I liked the interaction between Natsume and Naomi, and I look forward to more interaction in the future

Thanks for all the feedback, guys I really do appreciate it!

brythain wrote:Besides the *fluorescent fittings, this piece has a nice luminosity about it.
Your serious stuff is a serious competitor to your not-so-serious stuff. There's a solid grittiness about it.

It was only after I read what I had put out loud, that I realised how stupid 'flour-escent' lighting sounds thanks for that

KeiichiO wrote:I have a brother with epilepsy. He was playing Earthbound one day, and the trippy backgrounds of the fighting sequences triggered a pretty severe seizure. It was among the scariest, most disturbing phenomena I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing in my life.

I know how you feel. The only seizure I've ever actually witnessed in person was from a Special Needs school I did some work experience at. One of the little girls just started having a seizure right in the middle of the lesson. Absolutely terrifying, especially since I had no idea what was going on or what to do.

ANYwho, I may or may not have had difficulties reading this...

I was worried something like this would happen... but at the same time, it was kinda intentional. I just wanted to write something that would make people feel bad No hard feelings, right?

But anyhoo, I'm working on Chapter 2 at the moment. Never done a story with multiple chapters before, so God knows how this'll turn out.
Thanks again, guys!

Love it, and can't wait to read more. I can tell you've really done your homework here and it made the scene very real.

One thing that kind of made me laugh is that everyone seems to write Maeda as a total asshole, myself included.

Just reviewed the edited work, and I like it a lot. You've done very well, and I look forward to the next part.

My only advice, to get REALLY pedantic, would be to de-capitalize the first letters of "epilepsy" and "arthritis" in the middle of sentences; they aren't proper nouns. Just a quick note for future chapters. :p Other than that, well done!

Here's the second chapter. It's a bit long, so I'll need to spread it between two posts.
I kinda feel like a bit of a hypocrite, because I wouldn't read a story this long Ahh well, let me know what you think
Thanks again to d2r! He's a top lad!

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Chapter 2a.
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'Ahh, Miss Inoue! Nice to see you up again!"
The nurse yanks the curtain open and finds the two of us together. He suppresses a laugh and grins widely.
"Ah, I'm not interrupting, am I?"

I pull back in surprise, whereas my oh-so charismatic friend somehow laughs it off. She pulls my head back and into a bear hug whilst making kissy lips.
"Oh, no, that'll come later!" Despite myself, I blush violently. She really is incorrigible.

The nurse laughs again,
“Well, what you two get up to is none of my concern,"
His tone of voice changes rather abruptly to a serious pace. He is infamous for this, going from joviality to deadpan depending entirely on what's flowing from his mouth.
"But I do need to chat with you, Naomi. Alone, if possible?"

He turns his head and smiles at me, wordlessly telling me to bugger off. It takes a second for me to take the hint.
"Oh,” I stammer “Oh, of course!"

I awkwardly hop off the bed and pick up my crutch. Waving a goodbye, I open the door and gradually make my way out of that godforsaken building. Even though Naomi's recovering well, I still don't like it in there. Honestly, I doubt I ever will get used to it.

I can't quite remember what time it is, but I'm sure the school day hasn't finished yet... Which means I have time before every student decides to stampede out. This is a fantastic opportunity, so I decide to let myself take the rest of the day off. It's not like I'm going to regret missing Mutou's haphazard explanation of Einstein's Space/Time theory.

I take a step out into the open and immediately find discomfort. I hate Autumn. The unrelenting wind never seems to stop, only die down for a few seconds at a time. Honestly, it wouldn't be as bad if it weren't for the cold. And the leaves. And the rain. That being said, it's not raining at the moment, but it's obvious the clouds are just waiting for someone to say it aloud and jinx us all.

I just hobble past the courtyard when the final bells ring. Perfect timing, I'm going to be trampled to death in the dormitory's doorway unless I think fast. As the first of the students pass, I find myself a short wall to sit on. The same wall that I've sat on for the last two-or-so years, whenever walking to or from the dorms proves... difficult.

Most of my time here is spent with Naomi – she and I are fortunate enough to share a rather snide sense of humour. We would never directly insult someone, of course, but when there's that one boy who walks from the girl's dorm as though he's just received a very good “morning surprise”, it's hard not to have a giggle at their expense. We tend to notice these things, you see.

The crowd starts to thin, so I decide to get up and complete my journey. You see, the less people there are walking around me, the less chance I have of bumping into someone and causing unnecessary joint pain. It's bad enough out here, but God help me if it happens in the school's corridors.

I used to frequently make the mistake of trying to travel within the crowds to and from lessons. I never used to want to have to change myself on behalf of the arthritis, but also I was terrified of being late for anything. I'd force myself to jump into the river of bodies so I'd fit in, but it always ended in bumps, squeezes and being knocked around... I didn't even realise what the damage it was doing to me, until Naomi pointed out how much stiffer I was getting. It was after that we first sat the crowd out and let it disperse.

It was absolute hell for her at first. One thing I've learned from Naomi is that it's not uncommon for epilepsy to come in tandem with ADHD. She says it's the “predominantly inattentive” subtype, meaning it's just ADHD without the hyperactivity. It doesn't come across too often, really. Spend a day with her and you would just think she was a happy, bubbly person. When she sat with me for those first few times as we waited, however, it was pretty obvious she really wasn't enjoying it; she was fidgeting, looking around, kicking her legs, humming. She's like a big child at heart, and still is. I wouldn't have her any other way.

I shake my head and come back to reality, seeing that I’m almost at my destination. The dormitories themselves have their own little courtyard between two buildings; one dorm for the guys, one dorm for the girls. The buildings themselves are raised about two feet higher than the courtyard, each with a three-step stairway and a wheelchair ramp. The ramp winds itself around the corner of the courtyard, making it a longer trip. I just want to get home, so I take the stairs.

I take my time hoisting myself up each step, now that my left knee is starting to throb. Too much walking for one day. I hobble through the automatic doors and under the heater that gives me slight relief from the blustery cold outside. Now I'm in, I just have to jump the final hurdle... My room's on the second floor.

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[Previous]
[Next]

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Chapter 2b.
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We've all been warned about the penalty for misusing the elevators here, since they're for wheelchair use only. Some of the other students and I use them anyway, especially considering my arthritis, but unfortunately Dictator Hakamichi is very strict on who can and can't use the elevators, even going as far as to man them herself on some days. Thankfully, there's a girl in a wheelchair reversing herself into the elevator who sees me coming. I couldn't tell you her name, but I do know her face. If I'm not mistaken, she's a first year. Rather than let the doors close, she holds the 'Open' button and beckons me with a nod.

Perfect!

"Thanks for that,” I smile, and slip in to the elevator next to her. She's not only saving me time, but a lot of discomfort too. It's an unspoken rule that you can ride in the lift so long that someone inside is wheelchair bound. As the doors finally close my saviour turns her head to face me, smirking away.

"You're in with the Herald, aren't you?"

Ah, The Yamaku Herald, the bastard lovechild Naomi and I’ve raised together. The official newspaper of this great institute, the bringer of news to students and staff alike! Truth be told, I am rather proud of it. We'd brought up The Herald as if it were our own creation... and considering how bad it used to be, I can honestly say we've done a great job! Naomi and I had been at Yamaku for a year when the previous Newspaper Club admitted they were going to quit. Nobody cared; it was a poorly written, single sheet of paper that came out weekly and had nothing but a picture and a short selection of anecdotes. Hell, half of the school didn't even know it existed.

Nowadays though? Everyone knows The Yamaku Herald. At the beginning of the year, we usually get a load of applications to join too, but most drop out after a few months. At the moment, it's literally just Naomi and me, with some help from the Photography club.

"That I am. Editor, actually!" It's nice to finally get some recognition for all my hard work, I can't help but gloat a bit. Gotta make the most of it!
"Why, did you want to join us? It's a bit late, but I'm sure-"

"Nahh, nothing like that! I've just got one hell of a scoop for you!" She grins... maybe a little too eagerly. 'Scoop'? What is this, the 90s? Unfortunately, I can't resist my curiosity and I bend down to listen in.

"My friend Minori was walking past that weird teacher’s room and she says she saw some girl having an eppie right in front of her class! She says there was blood everywhere! Apparently she looked like she was dead!"
My skin goes cold. This is not good, not at all. The new girl in the wheelchair continues, smiling away as if she were telling a joke.
"Everyone was screaming and she even pissed herself! Apparently even their teacher was in hysterics and couldn't control the class!"

I stand upright, and she stops to gauge my reaction. I say nothing and face forwards, calmly waiting for the elevator to reach the second floor.

I can't believe my ears, not only has Naomi's seizure turned into classroom gossip, it's been twisted by word-of-mouth into nothing more than a sick joke. A schoolwide game of Chinese whispers has mutilated the truth into 'just another anecdote to tell your friends'.

"Well, Editor? Whaddya think?"

I hesitate and look down at her. So many things I want to say to her, but the problem with being in as high a position as mine is I can't afford to run my mouth off.

"I'm sorry, we don't publish rumours." My voice is quiet. I had wanted to sound more confident, maybe a little more angry, but I come across more unsure.

"What?” She looks genuinely surprised, as if she thought I would believe her right off the cuff. “It's not a lie, my friend was walking past when it happened! She saw it with her own two eyes!"

I don't know who she is, but I hate her already.

"I was there. I was right there next to her.”
I can feel my blood boiling at this bitch’s irreverent jabbering. I turn my body to face her and bend down slightly, pushing an outstretched finger at her face. ”Don't you tell me what happened! There was no blood, no screaming and no hysteria! Nothing! That's just bullshit and there are no two ways about it!"

"Are you saying she's a liar? Are you calling me a liar?!" She starts off quiet, but soon raises her voice to match my own. The girl turns her chair further round to meet me, inadvertently blocking the door. "Why don't you go back there and see for yourself!?"

I sigh, the argument is going round in circles.
"That's what I'm telling you, I was there! Why can't you get it through your thick skull?"

She pauses and glares at me. She's somehow intimidating, despite being sat in a wheelchair and a good two feet shorter than I am. Her chair rolls slightly towards me, causing me to take a step back. She snarls at me, knowing she has me cornered.
"Listen here, Editor Bitch. Don't think I won't b-"

The elevator door opens, cutting her off. I take the distraction opportunity and step over her knees, taking a few paces into the corridor; I don't see her reaction, but she huffs as I step out of the metal box. After a second or two, I can hear her wheeling. I turn and see her exiting also, glaring at me.
“What?” She sneers at me. “This is the top floor, I live here."

I regain my composure and set off down toward the eastern wing, limping on my crutch. I can't believe this. I can imagine such a rumour starting and spreading in a regular school, but truthfully I really didn't expect it from Yamaku. I had always assumed we all had a mutual respect for eachother, since we're all going through a teenage hell... I guess it's like the school's PR always makes a note to say, "A disabled teenager is still a teenager at heart".

Out of nowhere, I'm yanked from my thoughts by a clatter and sudden sharp pain going through both of my ankles. A yelp flies from my throat as I fall to the floor and land headfirst onto the floor, barely missing the wall. Before I turn to see what happened, the girl in the wheelchair rolls past me muttering insults under her breath.

She... She just rammed me? She did.

I pull my knees up to my chest so I can soothe my throbbing ankles. How dare she? I've been here for close to three years, and I have never encountered anything like this. Naomi's seizure, the rumours, this girl's vile attitude and now this. It's all too much... for the second time today, tears start to collect at the edges of my eyes.

I lie there in the corridor fighting back tears for a few minutes before I come to my senses. Sobbing to myself isn't going to solve anything and I can at least wait until I'm somewhere more private. I'm surprised nobody has wandered down here, but I am thankful. I couldn't bear anyone see me in such a pathetic demeanor.

Reluctantly, I pull my arms up and push myself from the brown carpet below me. My shoulders ache at the act, stopping me from continuing. However, I know the longer I stay like this, the longer I hurt. I brace myself against the wall and push myself upwards with my legs. My knees click and my ankles burn, but it's for the best. After a few seconds to recuperate, I wipe away any remaining tears and set off toward my room.

I make it to my hallway and trudge toward Door 203. Across from my room is Naomi's, with Miki as her neighbour and Suzu as my own. The buzz of chatter through the thin walls lets me know that the two unlikely friends are probably in the same room, hopefully in Miki's. I want to be alone for a while. I slam my key into the door and miss the hole, sending the key itself flying out of my hand.

Perfect.

It takes me at least five minutes manoeuvring the key with my crutch toward the wall, attempting to drag it up toward me, before I decide to just bend down and get it. The problem isn't my back, it's my hips and knees that prevent me from crouching well. I only manage to get about halfway down when a voice takes me by surprise.

"Do you want some help with that?"

Out of nowhere, Miki skips to the rescue and picks my key up for me, almost ruining all the hard work I put in to retrieving it. I force a smile and thank her, but she stops me.
"Hey. Are you okay, Nat?"

"Of course I am! I just couldn't... C-Couldn't get the keys, is all."
I hope I'm not as bad a liar as I feel like right now. Miki's face confirms I am.

"Seriously, Nat, you don't need to hide yourself around Suzu and me."
Her voice is soft and reassuring. She watches me with a smile and concern in her eyes, trying her best to be a friendly face... But I don't want a friendly face. I just want my bed and some solitude.
"It was a shitty day for both Naomi and you."

"Obviously."
That was somehow supposed to be a joke, but it came out rather bitter. Miki doesn't seem to mind, though. She pulls me into a quick, one-armed hug with her 'good arm' and lets me go about my business.

"Don't be a stranger!"
The athlete gracefully spins on her heel with a wink and starts coolly swaggering down the corridor back to Suzu's room. She gives me one last smile and a thumbs-up before she slinks through the open doorway. I crack my own door open and slip through, not even bothering to turn on the light. I give gravity the task of taking care of my bag and crutch and let myself fall to my bed. Now I can just let myself go. Let it all out.

Perfect.

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[Previous]
[Next]

Wow, that girl was a bitch. Nevermind her attitude, but she could have actually INJURED Natsume. For all she knew, Nat had a crutch because she has weak bones, and that collision would have resulted in an injury. Heck, even with arthritis I'm sure it hurt worse than it normally would. Since Nat knows what floor she lives on, what she looks like and that she's in a wheelchair, that's probably enough to find out who she is and get her in trouble if she wanted. I would. On a kinder note, it's nice to see Miki so Nat some support there at the end.

Thanks for the shout-out. You're too kind.

As I said in our convo earlier: I like what you've done with the chapter, especially the fleshing out of Natsume's backstory. I'm looking forward to your next.