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Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2014 6:17 pm
by dewelar
Silentcook wrote:Don't know why different rules should apply to works of fiction.
For me, it's a question of voice. Works of non-fiction are always intended to be in the voice of the author (biographies can straddle this line), where works of fiction are in the voice of the narrator. In the case of (mostly) every story on this board, the narrators are speaking, thinking, etc., in Japanese. Maybe the Japanese words are the only ones that shouldn't be italicized :wink:. Also, as you can see, I tend to use italics for emphasis, so for me to use it for something else as well might get confusing.

Anyway, I suppose it all comes down to style, and thus subjective. We're cluttering up forgetmenot's thread, so I won't say any more. If you want to talk about this further, I'd be happy to take it to PM or wherever you think would be appropriate.
Also, it's definitely not my place to direct anyone's style of writing unless we're getting at the "you're a fucking illiterate" level. :roll:
Heh...

Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Mon Jul 28, 2014 7:12 pm
by forgetmenot
brythain wrote:
Numb wrote:That ending was like something out of a cheesy sitcom. I love it.

One small criticism though, when Saki is worried about Rika's heart, she calls her Rika-chan. Personally, I don't think honorifics work in English prose, with exceptions such as Misha's nickname quirk. The hikikomori thing too, it just seems a little bit out of place, and looks like it's just a sudden reminder that "Hey, this is in Japan", being italicized doesn't help it. The easiest alternative I can think of right now (It's 2AM right now) is hermit.
I think honorifics can work in English prose, where they serve as relationship markers that aren't normally used in English. After all, the majority of the English language consists of imports to a basic Frisian-German-whatever matrix. :)
I agree. 'Rika-chan', in this usage, is basically a shorthand as to how Saki is feeling about Rika in that particular moment. I suppose the closest English equivalent would be something like, 'Rika, sweetheart,' but that doesn't convey the near-maternal subtext behind Saki's worry quite as well. I do agree that when honorifics are overused it makes for cumbersome reading, however, I don't think the inclusion of one (especially since it's just one, so it serves as a more visible contextual flag) is so bad. To each his/her own, I suppose.
Silentcook wrote:While I concur that care should be taken when using different languages in a piece of writing, I thoroughly disagree about not highlighting foreign words when inserting them.

The context of the speaker or the setting is not significant, only the main language of the writing matters. Foreign words should be italicized when used. Exceptions can be made once the word has become embedded in common use; for example, I wouldn't italicize "weekend" in an Italian piece any more than I would italicize "pizza" in an English one.

I do realize that what constitutes "common use" is often hotly debated by language experts and dictionary printers, though...
I'm with Silentcook on this one. I think the usage of the word 'hikikomori' in English prose as if it were just another part of the language would be more jarring to a reader than if it were italicized. As to the usage itself, well, I'm 50/50 on this specific case. On one hand, it is a foreign word, so for those who can't be arsed to look it up, context is everything - in which case, you'd only be able to divine, at most, 'hermit' or 'shut-in' from the specific case. On the other, hikikomori carries with it a fair bit of subtext that either 'hermit' or 'shut-in' don't; i.e. academic troubles, not being able to cope with societal and familial pressures, etc. Saki is making subtle jabs at Rika's schoolwork as well as her relationships with her professors, classmates, and family. This, along with the 'hermit' connotation, seems even more ludicrous to Rika than just being called a hermit by itself, which is why she hits Saki before starting to laugh. I suppose this can either enhance the joke or ruin it. Like I said, I'm 50/50 on it. For now, it stays in.

Anyhow, I sincerely thank all of your for reading and your comments! Glad you enjoyed the story!

Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 5:36 pm
by Leaty
Maybe it's just because I'm obsessed with cyberpunk culture, but I don't get the opposition to uses of Japanese words and honorifics, especially in something like KS where they've been used in their proper context. Authors like William Gibson use them all the time. The inclination to see them removed from any kind of writing stinks to me as a sort of quasi-prescriptivist mentality on literature in general.

As I've mentioned to forgetmenot privately, I really loved this fic, and I would easily list it among my top five favorite KS stories right now. People tend to overlook the fact that the duality between Saki and Rika is a powerful story hook, and I think this story illustrates how much story potential their relationship (fanon though it may be) can have.

We don't have enough stories about romantic friendships, and this is one of the best examples of one I've seen in the community.

Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:49 am
by YutoTheOrc
Bacon, Bacon solves many problems. Really enjoyed it, the part with Nakai made me sad for a bit, then you dumped the early death on me :p. I liked the ending a lot, great way to end a short story I would say. Great work! :D

Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:33 pm
by AntonSlavik020
Really nice friendship fic. Nice happy ending with some feels in the middle. Overall I enjoyed well enough.

Re: A Birthday Wish (Saki/Rika) [Complete]

Posted: Thu Aug 21, 2014 1:11 pm
by Eurobeatjester
I love this fic and your take on the characters, seriously. So good to see a revival for these two!

Regarding Japanese words and honorifics, I don't think they're out of place regarding the target audience. I would find it a bit offputting if I just found this randomly and didn't know anything about Japan, its culture, or the subject matter, but given that nearly everyone who reads this or comes across it has to be actively looking for it and is therefore well versed in the themes, I see no problem with it. I think they actually add to the story, because there are certain words and phrases that are hard to translate to English and still retain their original, contextual meaning.

Once again, well done :D