Journey of a Non-otaku

[TheHivemind]

Safe sex, you say?

[SpunkySix]

Stuff

Imagine if your potential partner demanded that you not look him/her in the eye "for a couple of years". Is lack of eye contact going to kill you? No. But it will probably kill the relationship.

You'd have to go way, way out of your way to not make eye contact ever. Unlike sex, where you pretty much have to go out of your way to have it. It doesn't just happen while you're standing there. Also, not having sex is an equal agreement, whereas not being allowed to look a partner in the eyes is a form of emotionally manipulative dominance. Not really the same thing. Lastly, unlike with sex, there's literally no reason whatsoever not to look somebody in the eyes for so long. None. Looking somebody in the eyes isn't an extremely intimate decision that requires responsibility, it's a basic way all humans tend to interact.

[SpunkySix]

You are putting a yet to be born child at risk...

Yes, and I condemn a ton of yet-to-be-born children to non-existence every time I decide to play with myself.

I'm pretty sure your sperm don't turn into human children by themselves after you masturbate.

I'm willing to move on, but we have to actually move on.

[SpunkySix]

Safe sex, you say?

Not safe enough, 0.000000000000000001% chance of failure.

[Potato]

You are putting a yet to be born child at risk...

Yes, and I condemn a ton of yet-to-be-born children to non-existence every time I decide to play with myself.

I'm pretty sure your sperm don't turn into human children by themselves after you masturbate.

I'm willing to move on, but we have to actually move on.

Pretty sure that's true in any case. They don't do anything but swim and die by themselves.

[Guest Poster]

You'd have to go way, way out of your way to not make eye contact ever. Unlike sex, where you pretty much have to go out of your way to have it. It doesn't just happen while you're standing there. Also, not having sex is an equal agreement, whereas not being allowed to look a partner in the eyes is a form of emotionally manipulative dominance. Not really the same thing. Lastly, unlike with sex, there's literally no reason whatsoever not to look somebody in the eyes for so long. None. Looking somebody in the eyes isn't an extremely intimate decision that requires responsibility, it's a basic way all humans tend to interact.

The analogy was kind of flawed, but not having sex in a relationship is very often not an equal agreement either. A lot more often, it's one partner being unable and/or unwilling and the other partner putting up with it, but secretly hoping it's a passing phase. I had a friend once who had been dating a guy who was incapable of sleeping with her. (probably due to other issues he may have had, it wasn't a religious thing) He was fine with hugging or kissing, but the moment it got beyond that he started pushing her away. She told herself it was alright at first, believing he just needed some time to sort himself out. It didn't take that long for her to start getting frustrated with it and started questioning her desirability. He didn't think it was a big deal. They had hugs and kisses after all. And because he didn't think it was a big deal, he didn't need to confront his issues.

In a way, it was the physical cousin of Emi's situation. Emi didn't think that blocking Hisao out regarding her more intimate emotional going-ons was a big deal either; they had pillow-fights and picnics and those were fun, so why was that one little thing such a big deal? Why was it not okay to just stay on emotional first base? It took her a while to realize why Hisao was dissatisfied. She got over it relatively quickly, but then again, Emi's fictional.

[SpunkySix]

You'd have to go way, way out of your way to not make eye contact ever. Unlike sex, where you pretty much have to go out of your way to have it. It doesn't just happen while you're standing there. Also, not having sex is an equal agreement, whereas not being allowed to look a partner in the eyes is a form of emotionally manipulative dominance. Not really the same thing. Lastly, unlike with sex, there's literally no reason whatsoever not to look somebody in the eyes for so long. None. Looking somebody in the eyes isn't an extremely intimate decision that requires responsibility, it's a basic way all humans tend to interact.

The analogy was kind of flawed, but not having sex in a relationship is very often not an equal agreement either. A lot more often, it's one partner being unable and/or unwilling and the other partner putting up with it, but secretly hoping it's a passing phase. I had a friend once who had been dating a guy who was incapable of sleeping with her. (probably due to other issues he may have had, it wasn't a religious thing) He was fine with hugging or kissing, but the moment it got beyond that he started pushing her away. She told herself it was alright at first, believing he just needed some time to sort himself out. It didn't take that long for her to start getting frustrated with it and started questioning her desirability. He didn't think it was a big deal. They had hugs and kisses after all. And because he didn't think it was a big deal, he didn't need to confront his issues.

In a way, it was the physical cousin of Emi's situation. Emi didn't think that blocking Hisao out regarding her more intimate emotional going-ons was a big deal either; they had pillow-fights and picnics and those were fun, so why was that one little thing such a big deal? Why was it not okay to just stay on emotional first base? It took her a while to realize why Hisao was dissatisfied. She got over it relatively quickly, but then again, Emi's fictional.

That sounds like something that could be solved by talking it out. Again, for me, that one thing probably wouldn't be something I'd want to rush into for a lot of reasons and not even close to just what I've talked about. I might not even be fully aware of how much it bothers said person- to me, not wanting to sex =/= not being desirable in the slightest, so I probably wouldn't make the connection. I would hope, however, that whoever I was with would be comfortable enough with me in general to voice their discomfort with this particular issue so we could work something out. Having them live in emotional purgatory for something like that would bother me if I found out because I know something like that hurts and I'd feel guilty about it. Maybe in a situation like that, I'd be willing to compromise if we could plan things out ahead of time to an extent. I feel like his problem was being out of touch with her feelings, but hers was staying silent about them.

Out of curiosity, what did end up happening, if it's not too personal?

[Silentcook]

[Guest Poster]

They broke up. And with that, it's probably best to shift back to non-otaku's going on trips into cripple-wonderland.

[SpunkySix]

They broke up. And with that, it's probably best to shift back to non-otaku's going on trips into cripple-wonderland.

Agreed.

I will say it's pretty funny to me seeing somebody discover anime stuff. It happened so naturally for me as a kid that I forget not everybody has that. Heck, first time I saw boobs was when I started reading Naruto and got to the "Sexy Jutsu" part.

[AaronIsCrunchy]

I was definitely a non-otaku when I started playing. I'd never seen an anime in my life (aside from the odd episode of Yu-Gi-Oh! here and there), had very little knowledge about Japanese culture, and had only ever wanted to learn the language because it's a language and it's there. Now though, I'd kinda like to visit there, if only to experience what is a wholly different culture and way of living to being in Britain. (A cookery show I watched DID help me make that decision as well, if I'm honest :L)

I still wouldn't describe myself as an otaku though, as I wouldn't call any of my behaviour obsessive. And I'm definitely still a newbie to the whole anime/manga thing, though it is partially due to cost and internet connection

[Mandalorian]

They broke up. And with that, it's probably best to shift back to non-otaku's going on trips into cripple-wonderland.

Cripple-wonderland... like Alice in Wonderland? That'd be an interesting book. Basically Katawa Shoujo on an acid trip.

[SpunkySix]

They broke up. And with that, it's probably best to shift back to non-otaku's going on trips into cripple-wonderland.

Cripple-wonderland... like Alice in Wonderland? That'd be an interesting book. Basically Katawa Shoujo on an acid trip.

http://ks.renai.us/viewtopic.php?f=52&t ... wonderland

[Velitation]

Cripple-wonderland... like Alice in Wonderland? That'd be an interesting book. Basically Katawa Shoujo on an acid trip.

Actually, I think it sums up a good chunk of reactions people have after playing KS for the first time. Altered senses, psychological changes (the "feels"), separation of ego, etc. Ok, maybe that last one is taking it a bit far.

As for the topic at hand, I don't consider myself an otaku, as I've distanced myself from anime for quite a while now (besides nostalgic viewings). That didn't really change after KS.

For my opinion on the responsibility of education of the author(s), I would say that it is not necessary. I'll leave it at that.

Edit: Oh, just noticed that Emi in Wonderland. That's hilarious, SpunkySix.

[SpunkySix]

Oh, just noticed that Emi in Wonderland. That's hilarious, SpunkySix.

Yeah, I look forward to reading it after I'm done with the canon stuff, because it seems pretty funny. A little bit redundant though. I mean, Emi in Wonderland? I already thought her body is a wonderland.

I'm so sorry

Real question though... can you be otaku if you're really into the sub-culture, but you haven't seen nearly as much anime as you'd like to?