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"..Come on, Katakana! I know you like her!" she says.

"Kanazukai..." I heave a sigh, "Look, I'll do it. Just stop bugging me about it, okay?"

She smiles, "Whatever you say, Dr. Love!"

"Oh, fuck you."

She looks as if she's taken offense, but it passes.

Before break-time ends, I grab a sheet of paper, write something on it, then put it on her desk. Who is her, you might be asking? Manatsu Tanaka, or if you're going to be formal, Tanaka-san.

So, basically I'm going to ask her out at about 4:30, and hopefully it'll go smoothly. I say a casual pick-up line, ask her if she'd like to go out sometime, and then I'll see how it goes on from there..

***

I look down at my watch, both anxious and excited. It's 4:37, so she should be here by now.. maybe she didn't want to come though...

Wait, I see movement! Whoever's hair it is seems orange in the fog. But then again, Manatsu's hair is orange..

Holy shit, it is Manatsu. Oh god.. What do I say?

Manatsu notices me, and walks towards me, "K-Katakana..." she walks closer, then pulls out the note, "D-Did you wr-write this..?"

I slowly nod, anxiety creeping through me. Good thing the cold's here to disguise my shivering. The wind blows, sending chills down Manatsu's spine. When she recovers from said chill, our eyes lock onto the other's. I love these misty eye'd moments we have, it just feels nice. After a bit of this moment, I finally manage to work up the courage to ask her the question. So much for a pick-up line, "Well.. I just.. I'd like to know..." I feel very... tingly, though I guess it's due to my nervousness, "You see..." the words are heavy in my throat, so I force them out, "I'dliketoknowifyou'dgooutwithmesometime."

Her eyes widen, and she does a double take, "Excuse me.. Wh-What did you just say..?"

The tingling's gotten more intense...something's wrong here..

I look over to the orange leaves of a tree, and try to find a better way of saying what I just did. Sighing in disappoinment, I repeat what I said, just slower, "I'd.. I'd like.. to know if.. if you'd go out with me sometime."

She looks awestruck. As if she wanted this to happen. Hell, maybe she did, but that's unlikely.

She stares at me, her big green pools for eyes blinking every now and then. She finally speaks up, in a tone that is equal to her expression, "I... I... Y.. Yes..."

Should've expected- Wait... what? Did she just..

I fall to my knees, violently twitching in my arms, and I can feel something foamy leaking out of my mouth. I fall flat on my face, but my conscious doesn't even register what should be pain. The last thing I hear is Manatsu's screaming.

***

It's been two months since the accident, and I can surely say that out of everything that could be interesting in this hellhole, is the name of the condition I was diagnosed with.

Epilepsy.

Goddamn severe too, I was told how fortunate I was not to have a concussion. Apparently I hit my head a lot, and Manatsu stuck her hand under my head so I wouldn't hurt myself. They told me that she was a hero. That she called 911 and didn't even leave my side. That she kept calm all she could.

Manatsu told me how horrible it was, watching me foam at the mouth, shake with no control, and utter things that nobody could understand. Every time I asked her about it, she'd cry. I hated seeing her cry, it was just a horrible sight. But then again, almost every man hates seeing women cry, it's just so damn awful. It beings a tear to my eye whenever I see a girl cry, it really does.

Manatsu used to visit every day, but now that the winter exams are coming around, she's put more time into studying... I may or may not have forced her to study...

Speaking of the orange haired beauty, she said she'd visit today. Oddly enough though, both Yuki, my older brother, and my mom said they'd visit today as well. I suspect something. I'm kind of sad that Kanazukai hasn't been able to visit, but then again, she she doesn't live too close. She said she'd walk if she could, but because she broke her leg, she can't go too far, and her house is two miles away from the Kyōto Medical Center. It's sad that my best friend can't visit me in the hospital.

I also took a walk around the deaf ward the first day I was allowed out of my bed, and I was awestruck with the speed at which the people's hands moved. So, I started teaching myself sign language. It's hard, to say the least, but easy to understand. A lot of these things make so much sense, it's unbelievable.

There's a knock at the door, and a nurse tells me I have visitors, "Let them in!" I shout to her.

The door opens, and surprisingly it's not a nurse, but it's actually my neurologist. She's the only doctor I know that makes you feel comfortable, and hardly ever makes you feel stupid. Following her is.. "Manatsu!"

She rushes over, and hugs me tight, nuzzling her head into my shoulder. I can barely make out what she's saying, but because it's what she says every time when she sees me, "Katakana... You're okay.."

I don't know why I'm remembering this right now, but when we were told I was epileptic, Manatsu mentioned something about her cousin, Inoue, or something like that, was epileptic, and went to someplace called Yamaku, a school for disabled people, or something. Well, back to the present.

I rest my hand on her silky, orange hair, "I don't know how many times you've said that, Manatsu."

She sighs, looking up at me, "I d-don't know how many t-times you-you've said that, Katakana."

Damn... She's got me there.

***

After spending some time with Manatsu - while my neurologist was quietly sitting in the corner, paying attention to how I react to things - chatting, remembering old things, just.. talking in general, two more visitors came in. Yuki and my mom. I smile when I see the both of them, and Manatsu's adorable expression that she makes when she's curious. When she notices my mom, she lets go of my arm, and takes her head, which was resting on my shoulder, off of me.

The doctor clears her throat, then takes my mom and Yuki outside of the room. I assume to talk to them about something.. Well, I at least have some actual alone time with Manatsu. She rests her head back on my shoulder, and starts talking about what would've happened should she not've shown up when I asked her the question. I tell her not to think about it, because that's not what happened.

"But what if.."

"Shhhh."

"But-"

"But nothing, Manatsu. It didn't happen, so why think about if it did?"

She looks down, and sighs, defeated.

Everybody comes back inside, and Yuki has a very wide smile, "Guess what, kiddo!" he says, with much enthusiasm.

I tilt my head, my interest peaked, "What?"

My neurologist speaks up, "You're being discharged as of today," she says cheerfully.

I sigh, realizing that there's a catch, "The catch?"

She looks down at her clipboard, "You will be transferring schools," she replies, a hint of sympathy in her voice.

Manatsu throws her head upward, then exclaims, seemingly in disbelief, "What!?"

I rest my elbow on my thigh, and pinch the bridge of my nose, "You're kidding..."

"Sadly, I'm not," she then reads her clipboard, "You will be attending Yamaku Academy, a school for the disabled in the Miyagi Prefecture. They have a 24-hour nursing staff, and are always around should you need them."

I nod, slowly. I've got to leave the city. I need to head so far north that I'm an hour or two away from Sendai..

It makes me want to scream, it really does. I'll be away from everybody I care about. Kanazukai, mom, Yuki, and Manatsu. Dammit!

I sigh out my frustration, and let go of Manatsu. I head to the bathroom to change into something appropriate for the train ride, but Manatsu catches me before I get to the door. She grabs my hand, spins me around, and pulls me into a kiss. Could've chosen somewhere more private, but I won't question it.

When we finally pull away from each other, she looks into my eyes, and says in a tone that is serious, but also resembles tenderness, "I love you, Katakana."

...Now I am simply awestruck. I never would've thought...

"I love you too, Manatsu.."

After staring into the other's eyes for a bit, I finally enter the bathroom and look at my reflection. My hair is chin length in the back, and my bangs cover my forehead. My hair is a dark chocolate brown, and my eyes match that color. I am caucasian due to my father being of American descent, and I shave like a drunk, so most of my chin area is grey with what could be a beard. I am tall, around 190 centimeters. I guess the Irish in my blood can be responsible for that.

I comb down my messy-as-hell hair, wash my face, brush my teeth, and change into some decent clothes.

After cleaning myself up, I head back outside, met with Yuki holding the keys to his Audi, "I'll drive you home so you can pack your things."

I sigh, and give Manatsu a hug and a goodbye. I tell my doctor goodbye, and my mom stays behind to talk to Manatsu.

Today's gonna be a long day.

-----------------------

A/N: Hey everybody! I've been debating whether or not to post this here, but after weeks of consideration, I finally do it.

I refuse to speak of any spoilers, such as pairing, events, etc. If you are that curious, go to FF.net and check it out.

I warn those who do the above, because most of the chapters on there are immensely low in quality, whereas here I will be rewriting every chapter.

So, leave your criticisms below! Correct my poor grammar, give me new words that are synonymous with one's that I've repeated constantly, etc.

I love all of you who took your precious time to read this.

Also, please don't put me into the spotlight.

WarbirdHD wrote:I don't know why I'm remembering this right now, but when we were told I was epileptic, Manatsu mentioned something about her cousin, Inoue, or something like that, was epileptic, and went to someplace called Yamaku, a school for disabled people, or something.

I see what you did there.

WarbirdHD wrote:After staring into the other's eyes for a bit, I finally enter the bathroom and look at my reflection. My hair is chin length in the back, and my bangs cover my forehead. My hair is a dark chocolate brown, and my eyes match that color. I am caucasian due to my father being of American descent, and I shave like a drunk, so most of my chin area is grey with what could be a beard. I am tall, around 204.2 centimeters. I guess the Irish in my blood can be responsible for that.

A character wouldn't think that way when describing themselves. And, around 204.2 centimeters? That's way too precise to be using "around". How about "around 205 centimeters"?

And, I didn't think katakana was a name. I could be mistaken, but... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katakana

bhtooefr wrote:A character wouldn't think that way when describing themselves. And, around 204.2 centimeters? That's way too precise to be using "around". How about "around 205 centimeters"?

And, I didn't think katakana was a name. I could be mistaken, but... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katakana

No, Katakana is not a name and it is a running gag throughout the story. Keep in mind, this was written a long time ago, probably summer of last year and it has undergone much improvement. There are still 21 chapters yet to be posted. That said, it is currently written to the end of Act III.

Also: What is with the reposting of my 'Homer NOPE' reaction gif around here?!

bhtooefr wrote:

WarbirdHD wrote:After staring into the other's eyes for a bit, I finally enter the bathroom and look at my reflection. My hair is chin length in the back, and my bangs cover my forehead. My hair is a dark chocolate brown, and my eyes match that color. I am caucasian due to my father being of American descent, and I shave like a drunk, so most of my chin area is grey with what could be a beard. I am tall, around 204.2 centimeters. I guess the Irish in my blood can be responsible for that.

A character wouldn't think that way when describing themselves. And, around 204.2 centimeters? That's way too precise to be using "around". How about "around 205 centimeters"?

This, exactly. Generally people don't describe themselves like that. Analytically. It reads like he's filling out forms at a doctor's office. It's tempting to write a paragraph like this because you want people to see the character you have in your head. Unfortunately, it breaks the fourth wall when you do it so blatantly. It's called an information dump, and I've ranted about this before.

Basically, you're throwing all the character's vital information into one paragraph, which, while informative, makes no sense in the context of the story you're telling. There are some details you can get across in a reflection scene, especially oddities like scars, unusual hairstyles, or other glaringly obvious things. However, the average person isn't gonna think "I'm caucasian" when they look in a mirror. That's information they just know, and there's no need to make a mental note when they check their reflection. Those are the details they express when comparing themselves to others, or when others mention it to them.

Also 204 centimeters is damn tall for an Asian boy. That's tall for anyone. It's 6'8" in standard measurements, which is 4" over my head, and I'm a damned giant. Additionally, the Irish are known for being short and stocky, not tall - little and scrappy, not big and burly. An Asian/Irish boy over 6' tall is kind of unbelievable. 6'8" is downright mythological, even from other gene pools that are predisposed to taller growth. It can happen, sure, but it's so uncommon so as to sound unreasonable.

Count me interested. I also have epilepsy, though nowhere near as serious. I like the reference to Naomi, though I'm guessing he's not dating her. That would be awkward.

Well, Helbereth already said most of the things I wanted to say, so let me just add that if Katakana is a nickname, his real name should be revealed somewhere as well. Until now I always think it's a typo when I read it^^°

Everytime I see the "name" "Katakana," I just want to smack the author. Like, it's not a name, it's a character set.
Seriously though, six foot eight is too damn big for someone of Japanese descent.
Anyway, that's all I have to say.

Helbereth wrote:

bhtooefr wrote:

WarbirdHD wrote:After staring into the other's eyes for a bit, I finally enter the bathroom and look at my reflection. My hair is chin length in the back, and my bangs cover my forehead. My hair is a dark chocolate brown, and my eyes match that color. I am caucasian due to my father being of American descent, and I shave like a drunk, so most of my chin area is grey with what could be a beard. I am tall, around 204.2 centimeters. I guess the Irish in my blood can be responsible for that.

A character wouldn't think that way when describing themselves. And, around 204.2 centimeters? That's way too precise to be using "around". How about "around 205 centimeters"?

This, exactly. Generally people don't describe themselves like that. Analytically. It reads like he's filling out forms at a doctor's office. It's tempting to write a paragraph like this because you want people to see the character you have in your head. Unfortunately, it breaks the fourth wall when you do it so blatantly. It's called an information dump, and I've ranted about this before.

Basically, you're throwing all the character's vital information into one paragraph, which, while informative, makes no sense in the context of the story you're telling. There are some details you can get across in a reflection scene, especially oddities like scars, unusual hairstyles, or other glaringly obvious things. However, the average person isn't gonna think "I'm caucasian" when they look in a mirror. That's information they just know, and there's no need to make a mental note when they check their reflection. Those are the details they express when comparing themselves to others, or when others mention it to them.

Also 204 centimeters is damn tall for an Asian boy. That's tall for anyone. It's 6'8" in standard measurements, which is 4" over my head, and I'm a damned giant. Additionally, the Irish are known for being short and stocky, not tall - little and scrappy, not big and burly. An Asian/Irish boy over 6' tall is kind of unbelievable. 6'8" is downright mythological, even from other gene pools that are predisposed to taller growth. It can happen, sure, but it's so uncommon so as to sound unreasonable.

First off; I want to correct your belief about the Irish. Leprechauns are what you are referring to, no? Those are known for their short and stalky selves, not the people themselves. May I ask you, have you ever seen a full-blooded Irish person? The tallest person I know is full blooded Irish, and he's 7'1".

Now, with that massive correction out of the way, you are correct with the Asian part. They are very short, yes, but I decided on "Eh, why not?" and make him 6'8". (When referencing height, should I put the period be for the quotations, - like normal - or after?)

The part where you were talking about the mirror? I nav a tendency to do that. I like to give the readers a look of the character be for completely setting them out for sail.

Thanks for the advice, and I'll try to work on these things.

WarbirdHD wrote:First off; I want to correct your belief about the Irish. Leprechauns are what you are referring to, no? Those are known for their short and stalky selves, not the people themselves. May I ask you, have you ever seen a full-blooded Irish person? The tallest person I know is full blooded Irish, and he's 7'1".

The tallest full-blooded Irishman I've ever met was 5'10", and the tallest of three boys. Also, what kind of idiot do you take me for? Leprechauns aren't even real.

(When referencing height, should I put the period be for the quotations, - like normal - or after?)

It isn't a quotation make when indicating inches, so the punctuation always follows it.

The part where you were talking about the mirror? I nav a tendency to do that. I like to give the readers a look of the character be for completely setting them out for sail.

There are better ways to indicate the things you want your readers to know about the character you're portraying is what I'm saying. Throwing it all into a paragraph is boring. Some of it is okay, like his mention of shaving like a drunk, which, along with describing the long hair and messy bangs, is a colorful way of saying he looks like an unmade bed. If you want him to mention his eye color, come up with a reason for him to look at his eyes - they could be bloodshot, drooping, have bags under them from lack of sleep, etc..

The only way this kind of scene works is if the character is exceedingly vain or narcissistic and they do so repeatedly throughout the story; if it's part of their character to regularly look in the mirror and point out minor fluctuations in their appearance, that can work, but it has to carry over into the way they handle themselves around others.

He's a white kid at an Asian school, so instead of looking in the mirror and saying "I'm caucasian" you could mention that he's getting some odd looks from the other students as he passes by, and have him speculate that it might have to do with his pasty complexion, or (if you insist on him being 6'8") the fact that he's standing head and shoulders above 95% of them.

Also, I should point out that 'American descent' at most indicates Native American heritage. If you meant Irish heritage, just say Irish, or at least say Irish American if that's the extent of it. This is also the kind of information that he could describe via conversation rather than while staring at himself in the mirror; it's likely to come up at a school populated by mostly Asian students.

6 foot eight is big no matter where in the world you're from.

Average height for a Japanese woman is 5 foot 2.

Think about that for a second.

The top of Emi's head wouldn't even reach your characters armpits.

Oddball wrote:6 foot eight is big no matter where in the world you're from.

This brief document is very useful in that regard. 6'6" is considered Very Tall in the Netherlands.