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Learning to Stand

This story takes place in the school year before Katawa Shoujo. No big reason, just to remove Hisao's various options as a variable. (Nothing against Hisao, I promise.) I don't expect to be involving the canon characters much, except maybe for those who would be extremely hard not to encounter, like Nurse. Yamaku's a big place, after all, and I'd like to explore some of the rest of it here.

Table of Contents:
Part 1: All the King's Men
Part 2: First Impressions
Part 3: Long Way Uphill

1. All the King's Men

I was sitting on a tree branch, but it disappeared from under me while my surroundings shifted, rotated. The canopy of leaves that used to be above my head were now in front of me, and were shrinking away. A breeze tickled my back, and I realized then that I was falling. The tree trunk was reduced to a brown-colored blur beside me. I had a book in my hands, and I held on tightly to it, as if it would stop my descent. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable impact with the ground below, but the seconds stretched on, prolonging the torture.

My eyes snapped open. The leaves were replaced by a dimly-lit white ceiling, and instead of hard ground, there was a soft mattress. The sheets felt oppressively heavy. I tried to kick it away, but my legs wouldn't obey, so I had to use my hands to gather it up and toss it aside.

Almost eight months since I was last able to move my legs. Now, they were nothing more than useless limbs still attached to my hips. And they were going to stay that way for the rest of my life. At least, that's what the doctors told me.

I put a hand to my chest. My heart was pounding so fast that I could have sworn it was like someone was doing a drumroll from the inside. “Deep breaths,” I told myself. Inhale, exhale. One. Inhale, exhale. Two. By the time I reached ten, it finally stopped feeling like my heart wanted to burst out of my chest.

Using my arms to prop myself up, I sat upright and looked at the room around me. The walls were painted off-white, with a wooden railing protruding slightly from it. A few of my sketches were taped to a spot in between my desk and the door that led to the rest of the house. The bay window to the left had a cushion on top and a couple of throw pillows, convenient for sitting on if I ever wanted to enjoy the view. A bit of light spilled through the gap in between the curtains, probably from the street lamps outside.

This used to be a guest room, but Mom turned it into my new bedroom after I was released from the hospital. My old one was up on the second floor, but considering I was paralyzed from the waist down, it would be impossible to get to. Not without someone carrying me up there and back down all the time, and that was hardly practical.

I hadn't quite settled into the guest room, though, despite having slept there for the last two months. I guess I was holding out on some miracle that would make my legs stop being useless. Then I could go back to my normal room and live my normal life as a normal 16-year-old girl.

If only...

The sound of a ticking wall clock broke the silence of the early morning. Judging by where the hands were pointed, it was about half past four. I considered going back to sleep – I wasn't supposed to be up until seven – but that dream had ensured that I was fully awake. There was no way I was getting any more rest after that.

I scooted over to the egde of the bed and transferred to the wheelchair that was parked beside it. My wheelchair. The doctors said it would give me a degree of freedom and mobility. Technically speaking, it did. But to be honest, it just felt like a prison on wheels. Oh well, beats being stuck in bed, at least. I'd had quite enough of that at the hospital.

A dry feeling in my throat made me think that it'd be a good idea to get a drink.



I was surprised to find a light on in the kitchen. Either someone left it on last night, or I wasn't the only one already awake at four-thirty in the morning.

“Kanae, dear, you're already up?” It was Mom, and she was having tea.

“I couldn't go back to sleep.” I chose not to tell her about the nightmare.

“Would you like some tea?”

“I would love to.”

Mom stood up to fetch another teacup. “Excited about your new school?”

“Yeah, about that...” My answer would have been a very definite no. I knew the decision was already final, but I needed to put up a token resistance. “Do I really have to transfer?”

She gave me that look that questioned whether we really needed to be having this discussion. “Kanae, your father and I have already done all the paperwork, and we're taking you there later today. It's a little late to be having second thoughts now.”

“Besides,” she continued, “how do you think you're going to manage at your old school? It's all stairs in there, that place wasn't built for kids in wheelchairs. Yamaku has ramps and elevators, so you'll be able to get around on your own.”

While Mom poured the tea, I noticed that she, perhaps intentionally, left out another important point: how people would react to seeing me in a wheelchair. If I did go back to my old school, I'd end up being the butt of everyone's jokes. “The crippled girl”. Kanae “No Legs” Morikawa. And that's on top of having to repeat the first year after missing so much time and so many lessons. If my grades were better, I might have had a chance to catch up, but I was never the brightest student, or the most diligent. My only good subject was art.

Yamaku was supposed to be a special school for kids with disabilities, so at least we'd all be in the same boat, in a way. I probably wouldn't be teased about being in a wheelchair. Not that it made me feel a whole lot better about going, but I didn't really have a choice anyway. We're past the point of no return. Perhaps it was for the best.

“I guess I'm just nervous”, I said. It was the most diplomatic answer I could think of. “I don't even know what Yamaku looks like.”

“Oh, don't worry about that. You'll find out soon enough.”

Mom placed the cup full of tea in front of me, but I let it sit there to cool a little before drinking it. The aroma helped me to relax a little better. We stayed in the kitchen and chatted about some of the new stores that were opening up in the nearby shopping district, until the light of the sun began to pour in through the window. That was mom's cue to start making breakfast, and my cue to get back to the guest room... my room, and start packing.



Eight fifteen, all I had left to do was get dressed. There was really no need to be picky about what I wore today, but I thought the occasion called for a little more effort than my usual “pick something at random” method. Eventually, I settled on a pair of denim pants, and a green cardigan over a plain white shirt. Casual, but presentable. I took a striped shawl, folded it up, and put it on my lap. I felt self-conscious about how my withered legs were way too thin for my pants, so hopefully this would cover it up a bit.

On the way to the door, I stopped by a mirror to check my appearance. My face looked a bit thin, like I hadn't eaten in a while. In the first few months at the hospital, I almost had to be forced to take the food I was being given. Not because hospital food tastes terrible (though it is), but because I'd simply lost all my appetite. Despite my food intake returning to normal in the recent weeks, I still wore the evidence of my “dieting” phase on my face.

My brown hair fell all around the sides of my face, reaching down to my shoulders and curling a little bit outward at the end. I brushed a few stubborn hairs back down until they stopped sticking up. Easier said than done, but I managed it eventually. I got Dad's hair, apparently. Nothing less than a can of stiff hairspray would keep it down. Mom's jet-black hair, on the other hand, had always been easy for her to fix up.

When I checked the clock again, it was already quarter to nine. We would have to get going soon, if we wanted to get to Sendai in time for lunch.

Mom was waiting for me at the front door. “Do you have everything you need, dear?”

“Yeah, Dad already put my bags in the van.”

“And you're sure you haven't forgotten anything?”

I sighed, and forced a smile. She really did like to fuss over me sometimes. “I'm pretty sure I haven't, Mom.”

She followed behind me as I went out the door. I heard the sound of jangling keys, and a deadbolt being turned shut.

Meanwhile, I'm wasn't so much thinking about something I'd forgotten, but about someone who might have forgotten about me. “Mom... Aya didn't drop by or... or call, this morning... did she?”

“I'm afraid not, dearie.”

So, that was it, then. My best friend wouldn't even see me off. The last time I'd heard from Aya was the day I was discharged from the hospital. And throughout my stay there, she seemed to grow more and more distant. I wondered if she thought it was just some kind of obligation to keep visiting me, and was finally glad to be relieved of her duty.

After a few seconds, Mom turned to me with a smile that tried to be reassuring. “Maybe she's sleeping in, and won't be awake until later. It can't be helped.” One of those little lies that moms usually tell their kids to make them feel better. Though technically, she was right. Aya did like to sleep in on a Sunday.

Still, this was kind of a special occasion. I was leaving for a new school, which meant I wouldn't be seeing her or anyone from around here for a while. I would have liked her to be here, maybe wish me good luck or something. But she wasn't. “It can't be helped...”

I rolled up to the minivan, and Mom helped me get into my seat before placing the wheelchair in the trunk. While I was putting on my seat belt, she took her place in the passenger seat up front.

“Everyone ready to go?” asked Dad, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

“Ready,” I said.



Next: First Impressions

All right, I took a chance and gave this a read.

And I was pleasantly surprised! Though we still don't know much about Kanae, what you've revealed so far is at a good pace. We don't want an info dump, but we don't want to everything held back, either. You have struck a good balance.

That said, you should eliminate the summary you provide after your title in the first post. Everything it states is learned in the story, and that's exactly where we should be learning it. I'd probably get rid of the summary under the Part 1 link, too.

Your OC doesn't have any of the Mary-Sue signs as far as I can tell. Good job.

Now, just a few minor errors:

Meanwhile, I'm wasn't so much thinking about something I'd forgotten, but about someone that might have forgotten about me.

Meanwhile, I wasn't so much thinking about something I'd forgotten, but about someone who might have forgotten about me.

“Everyone ready to go?”, asked Dad, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

No comma after quote.

“Ready”, I said.

Comma should be inside quote.

I don't expect to be involving the canon characters much, except maybe for those who would be extremely hard not to encounter, like Nurse. Yamaku's a big place, after all, and I'd like to explore some of the rest of it here.

You know how to make me happy

I agree with Oddball: You're off to a very promising start.
I'll be keeping an eye on his story.

Mirage_GSM wrote:I agree with Oddball: You're off to a very promising start.

Who?

That's what I get for posting while being on Skype and in a chat simultaneously.
Multitaksing is not my forte^^°

Glad to know the story's being well-received so far! Between all those days of research and planning ahead, I've been a mix of nervous and excited. Nervicited, if you will.

griffon8 wrote:That said, you should eliminate the summary you provide after your title in the first post. Everything it states is learned in the story, and that's exactly where we should be learning it. I'd probably get rid of the summary under the Part 1 link, too.

I'd been debating with myself whether or not to include a story summary, but in the end, I guess it would be unnecessary after all. At least, the part talking about Kanae. Maybe. Hm.

As for the Part 1 summary, I'd gotten used to all the pseudo-routes I've read doing the same thing. Then again, I already have chapter titles to distinguish them from each other. (Chapter/episode numbers just aren't enough of a memory trigger for me, I need words to remember what scenes are associated with something.)

griffon8 wrote:

“Everyone ready to go?”, asked Dad, looking at me through the rear view mirror.

No comma after quote.

“Ready”, I said.

Comma should be inside quote.

Ah, quote commas, my old nemesis.

I loathe OCPOV fics with a fiery passion (as they're almost a direct lineal descendant of the now-ancient FF.net "Author Avatar goes to Hogwarts" genre,) but I have to very begrudgingly admit that what you have done here is very compelling. Though what you've written is fairly short, it has captured my attention, and though I have a very keen eye for Mary Sue traits, and I took griffon8's comment as a challenge, I agree with him; so far, this character seems untainted.

I remain cautiously interested in this. You also deserve accolades for avoiding making the first scene a tiresome infodump.

Off to a promising start. I'll be waiting eagerly for the next chapter.

griffon8 wrote:

Mirage_GSM wrote:I agree with Oddball: You're off to a very promising start.

Who?

Mirage was agreeing with me. I just hadn't posted yet.

2. First Impressions

“Here we are, kiddo. Welcome to Yamaku."

After more than three hours on the road, and a brief stopover for lunch, we finally made it. Past the wrought-iron gates stood a large brick building. The main building, Mom explained. Beside it was an auxiliary building, with a similar design that made it look almost as though it were an extension of the main building.

Dad pulled over near the bottom of a set of stairs leading up to a set of double doors. “First things first,” he said, “you have an appointment with the head nurse. I'll just take your things to your dorm room and meet up with you two later, okay?”

Mom was soon out the door, and getting my wheelchair ready. With her help, I transferred into the chair. I immediately started moving away from the minivan while she pushed the door shut.

Sometimes, when I felt lazy, I would let Mom push the wheelchair for me. But this was not one of those times.

By the time Dad left to find a parking space, I was already at the foot of the ramp that traced its own path up to the auxiliary building. I looked back at Mom, waited for her to catch up a bit, and then made my ascent. We passed through the double doors, and were soon surrounded by clean, white hallways and a slight hint of disinfectant. “This place feels like a hospital”, I said.

“Well, dearie, this is where the nursing staff do most of their work, so I'm told. But the other half of this building is for the school administration, like the Yamaku Foundation office. I suppose you could say it's half-hospital.”

Still taking the lead, I followed the arrows to a door marked simply “Head Nurse”. When I knocked, the voice that answered sounded faint and muffled through the door. I could just barely make out the words, “It's open, come on in!”

“Do you want me to–”, Mom started to ask, but I cut her off.

“It's just the nurse, Mom. I'll be fine on my own.”

The corners of her lips turned down slightly. “Alright. I'll wait for you here, okay?”



I pushed the door open, and was greeted by a warm smile coming from a surprisingly young-looking man with purple hair. “Good morning!” he said as I shut the door behind me. “What can I do for you today?”

“Um, are you the head nurse?”

“The one and only. You can call me by my name, or just 'the nurse' like everyone else does. And you are?”

“Morikawa. Kanae Morikawa.”

“Ah, one of the new students. I was just going over the list,” he said, tapping a pen against the bundle of papers he was holding. “Now, if you'll give me a moment to pull up your file here...” He put the papers aside, turned to the nearby computer, and started tapping at the keyboard.

While waiting, I looked around the room. It was pretty much like any other school infirmary, with a nurse at his desk, a few beds, an open window with a half-drawn curtain being wafted by the breeze. There were even those posters with pithy encouragements. There was one to my right that said “Hang in there”. It had a picture of a kitten hanging from a tree branch.

I looked away from the poster. I did not need that mental image.

In the meantime, the nurse had produced a rather thick folder with my name displayed prominently in front. He opened it up and started skimming through the contents. “Here we are, Kanae Morikawa. 16 years old. SCI as a result of a fall from height, T12 complete.”

During my stay at the hospital, I learned from the doctors and nurses what all those technical terms meant. SCI stood for spinal cord injury. T12 was the point on my spine where the damage was, which covered pretty much everything below the waist. Complete meant both the loss of sensation and the total loss of muscle control in the affected areas.

“It says here that you're currently on antidepressants?”

“Yes.” After the accident, I had begun to lose my appetite. Not long after that, I started skipping meals altogether. Dr. Imahara decided that I was suffering from a depressive state, so he prescribed an antidepressant in an attempt to regulate my mood. Something involving serotonin. Fortunately it worked, after a series of adjustments. But even after the worst of the depression passed, I had to keep taking it in order to prevent a relapse.

“Well, mental health is not my forte,” said the Nurse, “but if you need to adjust your dosages or anything, you can always discuss it with your personal doctor. As for your physical health...” He put the folder away, leaving it near the right edge of the desk.

“I'm going to need you to strip.”

My hands immediately flew to my chest, and I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks. “W-what?”

After an awkward pause, he grinned and waved his hand. “I'm just kidding, that won't be necessary. I didn't want you to spend this entire session with that grim look on your face.”

I doubted that an annoyed glower was that much better for him than whatever kind of face I may or may not have been making before that attempt at comedy.

“Anyway, moving on. We have equipment for physical therapy here, to help you keep in shape. Upper body strength is especially important for wheelchair users, considering how you're using your arms to do everything your legs used to. Feel free to swing by whenever you want to use the facilities.”

“Speaking of your legs, have you noticed anything out of the ordinary recently? Bedsores, bruises, stuff like that?”

I shook my head. I'd been taught to keep a vigilant watch for injuries in my legs, but aside from being all shriveled up, they seemed fine.

“Good, good. But I think it would be best if you came in about once a week for an examination. Since you can't feel pain in your legs, it's can't hurt to be extra careful. Otherwise, there's the danger of an injury being left untreated. Wounds getting infected. I'm sure I don't need to tell you what the worst cases are.”

After that, he spoke a bit about the medical facilities and staff of Yamaku, and gave me a few more reminders about taking care of my legs. For a pair of useless limbs, they were quite the hassle. As if to add insult to injury.

“These doors are open 24/7,” said the nurse, “so if there's anything you need, don't hesitate to drop by.” Then he indicated the end of this appointment by ushering me out the door. That visit felt surprisingly short. It couldn't have taken more than ten or fifteen minutes.

Mom was waiting for me in the corridor, just like she'd said she would. “Let's go find your father. He should be in your dorm room by now.”



As we left the auxiliary building and crossed an area of Yamaku that looked like a small park, I began to notice the other people scattered about the campus. Many of them looked like students taking advantage of their last day before classes start, accompanied by friends or family.

I started to focus on the different people individually. A boy sitting on the grass had one of his sleeves hanging at his side, empty and fluttering in the breeze. A girl further along on the path we took was tapping at the ground with her cane, probably blind. Another girl showed no signs of disability, but the uniform she wore marked her as one of the students here. Maybe her defect was on the inside?

Suddenly, I realized that I was getting too fixated on trying to guess what was wrong with all these people. Part of the reason I came here to Yamaku in the first place was to avoid all the undue attention I would otherwise get because of my disability. And here I was, indulging in hypocrisy.

“Is something wrong, Kanae?”

“Everything's fine, Mom.” I kept my eyes to the ground the rest of the way, to stop myself from gawking at anyone else. “I was just thinking about some things.”

It wasn't until we reached the girl's dormitory that I started looking around again. The building had that brick exterior that I'd seen on everywhere else here at Yamaku. It made sense to be consistent, I thought.

The hallways inside were wide and accommodating, a blessing for someone like me who can't squeeze into narrow spaces. We passed by a common room that contained a television, some occupied couches, and a small coffee table. Beyond that was a kitchen and a small dining area. Further still, the path began to split into smaller corridors, and at the very end was an elevator.

The elevator's design suggested that it was quite old, but despite its age, it seemed very well maintained. Mom and I got inside and went up to the second floor, and Mom led the way towards the room I would be staying in. Room 212.

Sure enough, Dad was already inside. “Ah, you're finally here. This'll be your home for the next three years. What do you think?”

He was sitting on the bed to the right, with my bags placed beside him. On the wall opposite the door was a plain wooden desk with a couple of drawers on the side, positioned next to a window with plain white curtains. To the left was a set of drawers and a cabinet, for my clothes.

The room had no personality whatsoever. All the colors here were pale and neutral, just whites and beiges and browns. The walls were bare, not even a stain or scratch from whoever previously lived here. The paint looked fairly recent, so whatever damage the walls might have sustained were probably painted over. The only detail that stood out in the room was the fact that nearly everything here was at about the right height for me to reach. Nothing too high that I'd need the help of someone who can stand on their feet. Well, except for the curtains.

“This place needs more color.”

“There's still plenty of time left in the day”, Mom said. “We could go down to the city and pick out some decorations. Maybe even replace that plain old curtain with something more vibrant. Something like yellow, or green?”

I considered the offer, but it wasn't like this was something urgent. And besides, I still needed to unpack my things. So I shook my head and said, “Maybe some other time.”

“Oh, alright...” She had that disappointed look, as though I'd promised to go somewhere with her, then suddenly backed out. Seeing that made my heart sink into my stomach. I did understand how she was probably feeling. After that day, we would be separated by a relatively big distance, for a pretty long while. Perhaps all she wanted was to enjoy these last few moments with her only daughter. A little melodramatic, maybe, but this was Mom. The least I could do was indulge her.

Just a little bit. I still would have preferred to stay inside, but I was willing to settle on a compromise. “I don't really feel like going all the way to the city, but I do want to see what the rest of the school looks like. Didn't you say you and Dad visited here last week? You can show me around, if that's okay.”

A smile returned to her face as she looked at Dad. “Of course, dear. I'd be delighted to.” She took a step out the door, turned to me, and said, “You know, I found this quiet little spot that I know you're going to love.”



We spent the next hour or so strolling around the grounds and inside some of the buildings. And there was a lot to see – Yamaku was easily twice the size of my old high school, probably more. Every hallway we looked at was spacious, with wide passageways and tall ceilings. It almost felt like we were in a museum rather than a school. And that was just the main building.

Mom was right about the gardens, the “quiet little spot” that she had mentioned. It sat off to the side of the expanse of green that cut between the dormitories and the school proper. A low brick fence lined its borders, enclosing a dazzling array of colors. The walkway branched off just past the fence, and formed a looping path that traversed the garden. We stopped to rest at a bench that lay alongside the path, pausing to admire the scenery. I regretted not having my sketchbook with me at the time.

By the time we returned to the dorms, it was already mid-afteroon. I'm sure Mom would have liked to stay longer, but they had to let me go eventually.

“We're gonna miss you”, Dad said, ruffling my hair.

“Me too, Dad.”

Mom bent down and gave me a hug. “I'll call you every week to check up on you, okay?”

“Yeah, looking forward to it.”

Our goodbyes ended up somewhat drawn-out, with Mom taking every excuse to say just one more thing. But eventually, it was time for them to go, and they departed in the direction of the parking lot. I waited until they were completely out of sight before turning to head back inside.

Summer break was a pretty long way away. I never thought I'd start to miss my parents so quickly.



Prev: All the King's Men
Next: Long Way Uphill

A quick note: I added something to the end of the previous chapter. It was supposed to be the beginning of this one, but it just didn't mesh together quite as well, I think.



3. Long Way Uphill

On the way back to my room, I heard the sound of movement coming from inside the door next to mine. I decided that it was as good a time as any to meet the neighbors, so I approached the door and gave it a gentle knock. A voice from inside called out, “Just a second!”

A few moments later, it opened up to reveal a girl with long orange hair tied back in a ponytail. She wore a pair of shorts and a tank top, and had the figure of an athlete. A proper athlete, no missing arms or deformed foot. I wasn't quite expecting to meet someone who looked so healthy, considering what kind of school this was.

I gave myself a mental slap for that passing thought.

“Hi,” I said, “my name is Kanae Morikawa. I'll be living in Room 212 from now on.”

“Haruka Itou, but you can call me Haruka. Nice to meet you!” She extended a hand towards me. “I'll be in class 1-3. You?”

As I returned the handshake, I recalled the contents of the white envelope Dad had me go over after breakfast. My section, among other things, was outlined on the acceptance letter. “1-3 too, I think.”

“Really? It'll be great to already know someone before classes start!”

She began to rattle off a series of questions at me, like where I was from and what my hobbies were. She probably just wanted to get better acquainted with me, but I wasn't quite expecting to be put on the spot. As much as I wanted to end the conversation, though, I also didn't want to risk offending her by brushing her off. The best I could do was sit through her questions, and hope she wouldn't ask any awkward ones.

“Say, have you met Tomoe yet?”

“Tomoe?”, I asked, thankful that the subject of the conversation had turned to something other than me.

“I'll take that as a no. Come on, I'll introduce you!” Haruka hopped out into the hall as I wheeled out of her way. Leaving her door open, she walked up to the one just across it, and knocked three times. “Tomoe? Anyone home?”

The door opened, revealing someone I might have mistaken for a boy if we weren't in the girl's dormitories. She put on a slight frown when she saw who it was that came calling. “Itou, didn't I tell you we're not on a first name basis?” After a glance in my direction she allowed her expression to lighten, and she asked, “Friend of yours?”

“Yup! This is Kanae Morikawa, she's moving in next to me. We're in the same class, 1-3.” Turning to me, she continued, “Kanae, this is Tomoe Koyama. She's in third year, class 3-4.”

Koyama wore a pair of blue jeans and a yellow collared shirt. Her blue hair sported a short, boyish cut, and she had a pair of glasses that made her look rather mature for a high schooler. “So you're the other one. I was wondering when you'd finally show up.”

In contrast to Haruka's interrogation about my personal details, Koyama kept to a short inquiry about how I was finding the school so far.

“Anyway, it's good that I have both of you here. Do either of you have any plans for this evening?”

I shook my head, and Haruka mentioned not having anything better to do. “Why,” she asked, “got something in mind?”

“I was just thinking the three of us could go down to the town for dinner, my treat. Consider it a 'Welcome to Yamaku' party.”

We all agreed to meet in the common room at five o'clock, with Koyama making a point of not being late. With that out of the way, she excused herself and retreated into her room, leaving Haruka and me alone in the hall.

“Well, I'd better go and unpack,” I told Haruka.

“Yeah, sure. I think I'm going to go outside for a while.” She remembered to lock her door before turning in the direction of the exit. She raised her hand in a wave, while she had her back turned to me. “Later!”

Between the tour of the school and meeting my new hallmates, I was starting to feel a little bit tired. When I got to my room, I put my lap shawl on top of the desk and immediately hopped into bed, ignoring the two travel bags that still demanded my attention. They could wait five minutes while I caught my breath.



The sound of someone knocking on the door and calling my name stirred me awake. I rubbed my eyes, wondering how I'd fallen asleep. I remembered laying down on the bed, then failing to hold back a yawn, then deciding to rest my eyes for a quick second...

“Kanae? Are you still in here?”

That voice sounded like Haruka. I looked at the nightstand beside the bed, expecting there to be an alarm clock to give me the time, but the only things sitting there were a small lamp, a prescription bottle, and an empty glass. This wasn't my room back home, I suddenly remembered. I could hear the jiggling of the door handle, and realized I had left it unlocked.

“I'm coming in!”

I propped myself up into a seating position just in time to see my orange-haired hallmate peek her head through the door. After taking a quick scan of the room, she looked at me with an eyebrow raised. She must have noticed how bare everything still was. “I thought you said you were going to unpack?”

“I was going to...”

Haruka took a step inside, stopping just past the threshold. A pair of rubber shoes gave a squeak as they stepped on the hardwood floor. She'd changed into a gray sleeveless shirt and cargo shorts, with a maroon jacket tied around her waist. “Anyway, we have to go, it's 5:10”, Haruka said, looking at her wristwatch.

“Already?!” I looked out the window. By that time, the sun was almost touching the line of trees surrounding the campus.

“Yeah, Tomoe's waiting in the common room. She sent me up here to check on you in case you'd forgotten or something.”

I hopped into the wheelchair with a practiced motion, dug out a hairbrush from one of the bags and brushed down a few errant strands. After tossing the brush onto my bed and grabbing the shawl from the desk, I turned toward the door. “Let's go.”



Haruka and I made our way down to the common room, and found Koyama sitting on a sofa with a book in her hands. As soon as she saw us, she slipped a bookmark into the page she was reading and put the book down on the armrest. “There you are, Morikawa. What took you?”

Koyama didn't actually seem to be upset, but I still felt a tinge of embarrassment. “I'm sorry, I...” Thinking that simple forgetfulness was a less shameful offense than an unintended nap, I said, “I lost track of time.”

Unfortunately for me, Haruka had a different idea. “She fell asleep.” I glared at her, but she simply looked away, doing her best to look innocent.

“What's done is done,” said the senior, tucking away her book into a tote bag. “Now that we're all finally here, we should get going.”

We followed her out to the school gates, where she pointed at a collection of rooftops and criss-crossed streets. Yamaku stood at the top of a hill, and the road that lay before us meandered down the slope, going all the way down until it connected with the town below.

As I looked down, I began to feel a twinge of fear creep up on me. I knew how to handle an incline, but I could still imagine losing control of the wheels, careening down the road.

Koyama seemed to notice my distress. She looked at me, followed my eyes down the path, then back again. “Would you rather we stayed inside the school?”

“No.” As nervous as the slope made me feel, I was not going to be the person who upsets party plans, if I could help it. “I'll be fine. I just... have to be careful, that's all.”

“Alright, if you're sure.”

During the trip down, I decided to stay at the back of the group, thinking that with Haruka and Koyama in front, they might have a chance to catch me if the worst should happen. Since I was focused on controlling my descent, I let my two companions do most of the talking. When the road finally leveled out at the bottom of the hill, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Our bespectacled tour guide led us through the streets, pointing out the occasional landmark along the way. A popular convenience store sat along the side of a relatively busy street. Facing the small park was an art shop, whose location I filed away for future reference. A bakery stood at a street corner, its trays mostly empty.

Finally, we arrived at a place called “The Little Daisy”. There were a number of round tables outside, each surrounded by aluminum chairs and topped with a large umbrella to shield against the sun or the rain. Beside the door, there was a large glass window that took up most of the front wall, revealing a rather homey-looking interior with a green and brown motif. A few booths lined the walls, a counter ran along the back side, and more tables filled the space in the middle.

We sat down at a table just outside the door. Or rather, they sat down and I pulled up my wheelchair in a space between two empty seats. The door of the cafe opened, accompanied by the ringing of a small bell. A waitress dressed in green and white came up to our table and started to hand each of us a menu. “Welcome to the Little Daisy”, she said. “It's good to see you again, Miss Koyama. Will you be getting the usual?”

“I'm in the mood for something different today. And I assume my two companions will want a moment to browse through the selection.”

“I'll return when you're ready, then.” The waitress gave a slight bow and turned to head back inside.

I took the menu in my hands and scanned through the different items. The menu featured mostly Western-themed dishes. Fortunately, they also had a selection that was a little more Japanese. I settled for a katsudon and waited while Haruka stared at the menu. She eventually decided on a salad and some soup.

Koyama waved at the waitress again, who came as quickly as she did the first time. After giving her our orders, she said, “As for me, I'll have a croissant and a cup of coffee.”

“Your food will be ready in fifteen minutes.” With another bow, the waitress turned to leave.

Our blue-haired senior adjusted her glasses with her right hand, leaning forward into the table. “Now, while we're waiting, do any of you have any questions about Yamaku?”

“What's it like to study in a school for the disabled?”

I flinched in my seat. Haruka was surprisingly straightforward.

Koyama, on the other hand, seemed to take it in stride. “It's really not that different from any other school. You go to classes, have lunch with your friends, join a club, agonize over exams. We're a little more strict about following rules like 'no running in the halls', though if a certain up-and-coming track star is any indication, maybe not strict enough.” From the look on her face, I could tell she held some contempt for this track star, whoever they were.

“But what do you do about... you know...” Haruka had her face scrunched up as she tried to find the right words. “...other people's conditions?”

Koyama gazed past us for a moment, probably thinking about her response. Finally, she glanced in my direction, then turned back to Haruka and said, “What do you think of Morikawa?”

“Kanae?” As my hallmate turned to me, I looked down at the table. I felt a bit uncomfortable being scrutinized. After a few seconds, she continued, “We've only met this afternoon, but she's obviously a bit shy. I get the feeling she's a nice person, though.”

“And does the fact that she's in a wheelchair have any bearing on that?”

“Well... I guess not.”

“So there you go. People are people, no matter what they might have. In the end, what does it really matter if someone has brittle bones, or a prosthetic foot, or one blind eye?” Koyama removed her glasses to wipe them off. At that point, I noticed that her left eye seemed to have clouded over, unlike the right one which looked normal. The glasses didn't do that much to obscure them in the first place, but it was enough to make me overlook the difference until that moment.

I decided that I'd rather not dwell on the subject for too long. “What kinds of clubs are there at Yamaku?”

“That depends on what you're interested in. Track's pretty popular, as is Literature if you can manage to nab a slot.”

“Are you in a club?”

Koyama nodded. “Photography. The club doesn't really have much to do except take pictures during school events and such, but I could use the extra time to study for entrance exams anyway.”

We continued to talk about clubs until the return of the waitress cut the conversation short. I couldn't help but notice her stealing a glance at the wheelchair as she set the food on the table. It wasn't hard to imagine that among the three of us, my condition stood out the most. Koyama could at least pass as normal if you didn't pay her eyes too much attention, and Haruka had no outward symptoms as far as I could tell.

For that matter, was there even anything wrong with Haruka in the first place? Did Yamaku take students that didn't have a disability?



After Koyama paid the bill, it was time to return to the school. Once again, I found myself facing the meandering road that connected the town and the school, except that I was going up this time instead of down. I didn't expect to have any trouble on the way back, but I'd forgotten how steep the hill was. I leaned forward in my seat to prevent myself from tipping over as I pushed the wheels. My movement was much slower going up, now that gravity was working against my efforts.

After a while, I noticed Haruka keeping pace beside me. “Are you okay there, Kanae?”, she asked. “Want me to help?”

“No, it's alright. I can handle it.”

I continued to press onward, with the two of them walking behind me. One push at a time, I kept thinking to myself that I could keep going. Unfortunately, my arms could only hold out so long, and I had to give up about a third of the way up the hill. “Can we stop for a little while? I need to rest my arms.”

“Are you sure you don't want me to–“, Haruka started to say, but the sound of Koyama's voice cut her off.

“If someone needs help, they'll ask for it. It's one of the unwritten rules at Yamaku.”

I turned the chair sideways against the slope and locked the wheels. Secure in the fact that I wouldn't start rolling back down the hill, I stretched my arms a bit before resting my hands on my lap. The three of us talked about the town some more to pass the time until the tiredness in my arms went away.

Unfortunately, I needed one more rest stop before we made it to Yamaku. The school gates were finally in sight, though still quite a way off. “I'm sorry, I'm just slowing you two down.”

“It is how it is”, Koyama said with a wave of her hand. “You don't need to apologize.”

We continued on our way after several more minutes of rest, and I felt relieved when we finally left the incline of the road for the more level walkways of the school. After traversing the grounds in silence, the three of us finally arrived at our shared hallway in the dormitories. Koyama bid us goodnight, and left me alone with Haruka as the door clicked shut.

After a moment, I noticed Haruka giving me a curious look. “Is something wrong?”

“I don't know. Why would there be?”

“Well... you know, sometimes you have this look. Like you're thinking about something serious.”

“Everything's fine, I promise.” It was the truth, but even if it wasn't, I probably would have said it anyway.

“If you say so”, she said with a shrug. “I'll see you tomorrow, classmate!”



Later that evening, I was in the bathroom with a pair of bath towels and a change of clothes in my lap. On my way to the wheelchair-friendly shower stall in the far corner, I paused in front of a mirror, catching my reflection in the glass. A girl with brown hair stared back at me, with her head at a slight tilt and wearing the same inquisitive expression that Haruka had earlier.

“Do I really look like there's something wrong?”, she asked.

“Besides the obvious reason?”, I replied.

I stared at my twin for a while, sometimes smiling, sometimes frowning, occasionally making a face that I couldn't describe as anything other than weird. I wanted to see what I looked like to everyone else, but none of this was helping. It felt like posing for a photograph, when you smile because you're supposed to even though you don't really mean it.

Eventually I gave up and headed into the shower.

Under the stream of water, I continued to think. It's not like I was perpetually gloomy, the pills I had to gulp down each morning took care of that. Of course, they didn't magically make everything better again, but at least I felt less terrible. Actually, I felt less of everything. But I wasn't sure whether that was a side effect of the medication or of the accident.

I wondered what would happen if I stopped taking those pills.



Prev: First Impressions
Next: (to be continued)

Ah. I just now caught the update. Well, so far the characters appear to be strong and likeable and I haven't noticed any real flaws so far.

Good job.