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I run my shaking hands through my scarf furiously, feeling sharp pain in fingernails and skin brushing fast against thick wool, before nervously adjusting my glasses instead.

Hurrying myself down the empty aisles of bookshelves, my vision darts wildly trying to find her. This is where she usually hides at this time, with no one, not even the librarian being around during early classes.

My cold, heavy breathing shivering in my chest, I tense up in seizing shocks when I suddenly happen on her reading in the corner.

"Hanako!" My voice shoots at her, making her shriek and jump in her seat.

"K-Kenji! I-I'm s-sorry! I won't- I won't- I didn't tell anyone!"

"Really?!"

"I-I didn't! I promise I won't say a-an-anything!"

"Lilly was asking me some serious questions in class, you sure you didn't..."

I look around to make sure there isn't anyone listening, before moving my menacing stare closer to her trembling face and whispering harshly.

"If you tell anyone that I killed Hisao. I'll come after you, and throw you off the roof too. Do you understand?"

"It- It- was.. it was an accident, ri-right? You- you were-"

"Did you tell Lilly?"

"I-I-I..."

In anger, fear, or desperation, I grab her stack of books and throw them at her, yelling louder than I should.

"DID YOU TELL ANYONE?"

"N-No! I didn't!"

"You better not have. Because if you did, you're going to die."

She gasps and sobs, still hiding behind the book in her hands.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? I WILL FIND YOU AND KILL YOU IF YOU DON'T KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT."

Slowly lowering her book, she cries and nods, quivering uncontrollably in fear.



In fear... of me.

A brush of warm summer wind flows by, whispering soothing comfort and quiet ease, as we share our last afternoon together upon the garden bench.

Sadness runs its icy waters between us, an air of cold silence walls up and stops all our words, locking my every yearning thought in my heart.

I have been called home to Scotland, to be with my aunt still gravely ill, and leave Hanako alone and still greatly afraid of something she won't tell me.

Even now, her wordlessness and fidgeting is more than concerning, though the rustling of her uniform is almost softer than how the leaves and grass are greeting the summer wind, gently hushing me from gracefully saying goodbye.

"I'll be back soon, Hanako, you don't need to be so upset."

"I-I am not! ...I'm not, Lilly. Y-Your aunt is more important than me, and-"

"Hanako.. you're important to me too."

"...oh.."

I reach for her hands, gently holding them before she retracts from me suddenly, gasping in surprise and... pain?

"Hanako? Is.. is something wrong?"

"No. Nothing, I... fell."

"Hanako..."

Slowly, ..gently, she lets me caress her face...



"It's going to be alright."

"L-Lilly?"

"Whatever it may be, I'm sure you have a good reason to not tell me. But I want you to promise me, that you'll use your head and trust in a teacher's judgment, if you find yourself in need when I'm no longer around."

"I... I will."

"If there is something you can't handle, or if there is someone who is hurting you-"

"No! ...I mean no, th-there isn't."

"....., who is it? Hanako?"

"Nobody! No one, I tripped and hurt myself, I-I was... careless."

"Is Kenji involved somehow?"

"Stop asking me, Lilly!"



"I'm sorry.. Hanako."

"It's... nobody's fault..


.....even if my boyfriend blames himself."

I-I don't want him to go to jail or lose his future, n-not when it was only an- an- an ac-accident, and, H-Hisao...

Is it un-f-fair to Hisao? Kenji didn't.. he wasn't...

M-My boyfriend is innocent. It was an accident.


I make myself accept that fact, and... swallow the taste of rust and guilt suffocating my mind, ignoring that constant sharp feeling of stones in my stomach.

In the soft white beams of early morning light, I quietly prepare for school.

Sometimes he'd wait for me by the dorms, and I'd smile and walk up to him, close enough that he could tell it's me, before taking our place side-by-side on the lonely path, wordlessly walking to class together.


Sometimes I wish I wasn't so worthless, to have the courage to tell him it wasn't his fault, and that I love him...

Other times, I want to just hold him, and feel him embrace me softly, comforting me... loving me... hiding us both from the world... in a place where time would cast no shadows of the past over us, letting us the freedom to be with each other, far from the reach of our own regrets.

He regrets ever hurting me... shouting at me, and all those terrible things he threatened to do to me.

I regret that I didn't talk to Hisao more... that I could have asked him to take me to the festival, and saved his life, ...if I hadn't been such a useless person.

I can't ask Kenji to not blame himself, even when I truly don't want him to.

But he can't forget what he did, even after I told him that I will forever stand by him, no matter what he chooses.

Did he choose to tell? Admitting his guilt after months of unbearable regret?

He asked me what was the right thing to do, knowing that I couldn't give the answer, to choose what is fair to Hisao, and risk losing him forever.


Passing by his classroom and noticing he's not at his desk, my eyes widen with tears, realising what my boyfriend has chosen.

I skip morning classes without a thought to find him.

He wouldn't be at the library, nor anywhere in the building where someone might happen on him.

The only place I can think of is.. the cafeteria. There's no reason for anyone to come here at this hour, not even Shizune and Misha.

I finally spot him at a table, his head calmly resting on his arms folded on the cold reflective surface.

As I approach, I notice that he's no longer neurotically nervous; his feet aren't constantly tapping anymore, he doesn't throw a glance over his shoulder when he hears me slowly coming, .....he's not.. afraid, anymore.

"K-Kenji?"

"I told them, Hanako. I told them about what happened..."

"Did.. did they-?"

"I don't think I can be with you anymore..., I might be going to prison."

"No!"

"But it's doesn't matter anymore, I'm at peace with my conscience now. I'm free of it... of the guilt."

"K-Kenji... no.."

"It's okay, Hanako. It's going to be alright... whatever happens, let it be. I'm not afraid anymore. I have no regrets about the truth... about judgement... and most of all; knowing and loving you. Having learned the most beautiful truth in my life... that fulfilment, is a life without regret."


"H-Hanako? W-What are you..?"

Well, that was surprisingly... normal by your standards...
Considering the topic the characters are also surprisingly in character.
Nicely done!

Oh, and nice pictures, too. Did you make them yourself?

Nice story. I really like how you linked the pictures together.

@Mirage I posted those pictures in the "Favourite artwork" thread about a week ago. They are from Kawasoft's artbook.

Mirage_GSM wrote:Well, that was surprisingly... normal by your standards...
Considering the topic the characters are also surprisingly in character.
Nicely done!

Oh, and nice pictures, too. Did you make them yourself?

OtakuNinja wrote:Nice story. I really like how you linked the pictures together.

@Mirage I posted those pictures in the "Favourite artwork" thread about a week ago. They are from Kawasoft's artbook.

Heyyyyyy..... thanks.......

Merci Beaucoup, メルシーボークー

For some more French Feels, you might like:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wasabi_(film)

Never touch a man's Feels, you keep that in mind, and you'll live a long and happy life.

....That was a quote from some movie with Charlie Sheen in it.

Men at Work? I don't know.. I need to sleep.

And not look at a stupid screen again for a long long time.

Also; In America, they call them "Freedom Feels!"

Yay!

By the way, forgot to mention that the book Hanako is reading in the library? You know, the first picture up there? Yeah, that one.

It looks like "Sword Art Online", and there's a number '01' on it. Not sure if it's actually "Sword Art Online" novel/manga thing, since it actually says:

绝对领域

"Absolute Territory"

Hooray for Evangelion.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/M ... taiRyouiki

this fic somehow puts Alesana's Curse of the Virgin Canvas in my head -_-..

Hanako Nakai wrote:this fic somehow puts Alesana's Curse of the Virgin Canvas in my head -_-..

Also, that song... reminds me of Bionicle...





"Caught in a dream..." just like Inception. Or The Machinist. "How do you wake up from a nightmare when you're not asleep?" / "A little bit of guilt can go a long way..."

And Also, Hanako is totally projecting her AT Field. </hahahahayeah I didn't think it was that funny either>