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So, I got this idea after finishing the Emi route. It gave me a really good feeling and I wanted to write something. Somehow, I came up with some sad story written from Emi's perspective.

The story takes place two years after Yamako, Hisao is 20 now, and Emi is 21. And... It is that day again.

I really liked writing this story, I swept a tear a few times while writing it because it was so sad at some points. It also felt really wierd to write something that essentially hurt the main characters I started to feel attached to. The story could have been finished in one day, but I took three days simply because I felt so bad.

---

Without him

I slowly step out of the car as I sigh. It hasn’t felt this bad in 2 years. Did I ever feel so bad before… Before I met Hisao? I don’t think so. My mom, of course, wants to visit him alone. I don’t blame her. She has her own memories, just like me. It would be even more painful for us to go together.

This is terrible. I can’t stand this, why do I need him so much? I never needed him. I never needed anyone.

As I feel tears flowing over my cheeks, I sit down. I want to go away. I want to go away from here now.

“Emi, are you okay? Emi!” What? Why is my mother here? “Emi, what’s up, sweetheart?”

“I don’t know. I just was here, thinking back to him, like always. But I couldn’t stand it, for some reason. I couldn’t go away.”

“Come, let me help you up. I’ll get you to the car.”

---

Come on, pick up the phone, please. Please…

“Hey, Emi. Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, it’s fine Hisao. I just wanted to hear you for a moment.” Why do I say this? Why do I lie about this again?

“You’re not fine. I can hear it. What happened, Emi?”

“Hisao… I… I couldn’t be there alone. I just wasn’t strong enough to walk, or even stand. I was so afraid.”

“Emi, I’m coming over to your house. Where are you? Are you at home already? Are you in the car? Is your mother with you?”

“I’m in the car. Mom is seeing him now. She will be back soon.”

“Okay. Stay calm. I’ll be there when you arrive, I promise.”

“Please, Hisao, watch out. Don’t take risks because of me.”

“I won’t. I’m stepping on my bike right now, bye Emi.”

“Bye Hisao.”

“Emi!” Hisao's voice pierces in my ears when I get out of the car. For some reason, he walks over to me and hugs me when I stand on my feet. “You have been crying. For how long?”

“A few minutes. It's not that bad, I just...” I feel a tear dropping in my neck. Hisao? “Thank you for coming here. Let's head inside.”

As we head inside the house, Hisao holds my hand firmly. “Do you want something to drink? I'll get you something if you want.” His voice sounds broken, like he is a different person.

“I'm fine. Let's go to my room.” I have never heard him like this. What happened to him?

Up the stairs. Through the hallway. Through the door. Close the door. Sit on the bed.

“Emi, I…”

“Hisao, easy. I’m fine. Really, the trip home did some good, I calmed down at least. You didn’t have to be that worried.”

Hisao hugs me again. But it is different now. He tightens his grip around me, puts his head on my shoulder as I do the same. And above all, he cries.

“Emi, I’m so sorry for not being there with you. I should have been there. I should have helped you right there.”

“Hisao, I said I wanted to go alone myself! It’s my own fault. I’m so glad you are here, really. You shouldn’t apologize; I should, because I scared you so much.”

“Emi, why did you want to go alone? Please, tell me.”

“I… I…” I feel tears in my eyes before I can bring out a word.

“It’s fine, Emi. Just say it.”

“I wanted to prove I can go by myself!”

I break. I cry out the last words before I push Hisao on the bed and cry while lying on his chest.

I don’t know how long we’ve been like this. It feels like an eternity, but it’s not of course. I simply cry there, while Hisao tries to calm me down. I hear him sigh.

“Emi. To whom did you want to prove that?”

“To you, to mom, to everyone.”

“We all know you can go by yourself if you wanted to. That is why I was so easy about it. I thought you knew that too.”

I lie there for a moment again, just crying, until Hisao shakes my head and whispers my name.

“To myself. I wanted to prove it to myself.”

I feel Hisao’s chest lowering. He breathes out for at least 2 seconds.

“Why?” Hisao’s voice sounds so empty, so weak. It is even worse than that first time on the track, when we accidentally raced.

“Because… I felt I was leaning on you too much. That I just couldn’t let you go.”

“That’s not true. Why would you think so?”

“We always had so much fun together. Then I was sad, and I came to you. You always helped me, came right to my house when I felt bad. Even now.” I hesitate while I say it.

“That’s because I want to be there for you. You shouldn’t be afraid of calling me when you need help.”

“Hisao, I always call you, ask you to help me, cry on your shoulder, talk about my problems to you…” I feel tears running over my cheeks again. “But I never do something for you! I always rely on you, but I never help you when you have a problem! I am never your shoulder, I never rush to your house! Why would I expect you to do that for me then?”

“Damn,” Hisao whispers. “Emi, come here.” He pulls me off his chest and brings his lips to my mouth. He kisses me long and deep before he puts my head on his shoulder. “Emi… You help me more than enough. When I am with you, I can relax and be happy. Happier than I am anywhere else. Happier than I will ever be. If I leave you, I feel like I am leaving a part of myself behind.”

“But I never help you like you help me! Why should I ask you to sit through my stupid crying and weeping if I never do the same for you?”

“Listen, Emi, this is going to sound really stupid and sad, but…” He breathes out a few times before saying anything. “I have never needed your help. I haven’t lost anyone yet, I never have to, well, visit the grave or someone dear to me.”

“What do you mean?” What is this? Where is this going to?

“Since I am with you, I haven’t felt sad, ever. Except for when you are sad.” Hisao sits up, and now puts me under him while he talks. “When I see you crying like this, I lose it. I can’t see you crying, I want you to be happy.”

He pauses for a moment, kissing me again, even more intense than before.

“I love you, Emi. And if you need help, I will be there for you. I know that if I ever need your help, you will be there. That is enough for me. I know I can rely on you when I need to. Don’t think you ‘need’ to help me. Just help me when I need it. Even if you come to me every day, I don’t mind. As long as I know that if I would need you, even if it was only once, I can call you and you will be there, just like I do for you.”

We lie there again. Neither of us cries anymore, but we simply lie there. We turned around again and I rest my head on his chest again.

“Now, back to why you were crying in the first place. You shouldn’t try something because you simply want to prove you can do it. You will only try to hold your emotions until they come out all at once. If you feel ready for it, I will let you go alone without hesitation. I know you are strong, stronger than anyone else I’ve ever seen. Just don’t be so stupid, don’t think you are a burden to me like this.”

“Okay. Thank you. I really was stupid there.”

“Come on. We’ll get something to drink with your mother. She must be worried about you.”

“Right. Come on then.”

I slowly step out of my room as I sigh. Hisao walks right behind me. It has felt like this for 2 years. Did I ever feel like this before… Before I met Hisao? I don’t think so. I never felt like I could cry like this. I always had to be strong, I never had this connection with someone.

As I walk down the stairs, I look behind me to see Hisao smiling mildly.

“I love you, Hisao. I will stay with you.”

---

That's it. I hope people like it.

If you liked it, please tell me why you liked it, and if there were things you didn't like about it. Same if you didn't like it, but then in reverse.

This was the first time I wrote a fanfic like this, I have wrote fanfics before, but mostly in 3rd person view. Also, I never went with a romantic story. I really liked it, but it did a slight number on my sanity. (Or I just hit the feels really hard.) Anyways, I hope you enjoy and I'm waiting for your thoughts