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Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 5:27 pm
by Blank Mage
GorisTheKing wrote: I like the story overall but in the last few chapters it seems like no progress has been made, despite a lot happening.
Keep in mind that in-story, not that much time has actually passed. *Edit: Yeah, what he said.

Also, Cake, I think most of us are against Lilly because it would mean that she starts this chain reaction of emotional devastation, and then neatly steps back in when she changes her mind with no repercussions on her end. Yes, she's changing, and that's good, but she hasn't earned her happy ending. Just my opinion, obviously.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 8:49 pm
by OutofBlues
Blank Mage wrote: Also, Cake, I think most of us are against Lilly because it would mean that she starts this chain reaction of emotional devastation, and then neatly steps back in when she changes her mind with no repercussions on her end. Yes, she's changing, and that's good, but she hasn't earned her happy ending. Just my opinion, obviously.
While I understand the sentiment, if you were in Lilly's position wouldn't YOU do everything you could to try to fix the life altering mistake you made? I would, even if I felt a bit bad about not giving my friend a fair shot. There are no 'dibs' or 'turns' when it comes to matters of the heart.

That said...I still don't think this is going to end well for Lilly, although I'd love for Dew to prove me wrong.

Great update as always, Dew. No fair slipping in a Hanako chapter though, I'm dying to see what happened with Emi!

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Tue Feb 18, 2014 10:24 pm
by Deadpool021
Another awesome chapter! I like how we got to see Emi's and Hanako's point of view for the same scene.

I am rooting for Lily. I say this because they were together first and really liked each other before she left. Even with all these things happening during her absence, I feel that if Hisao ends up with someone else it would be like everything he and Lily shared before would be nothing. Hisao may be thinking he is over Lily but I am sure that as soon as he sees her arrive, all those feelings will come back.

But then again, I am not the writer. I'm sure that anything dewelar puts together will turn out great. :)

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 1:35 am
by Flarezium
griffon8 wrote:And that's enough to bring it to a vote. All in favor of Lilly not getting back with Hisao say 'aye'.
Aye!

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 7:27 am
by Mirage_GSM
OutofBlues wrote:While I understand the sentiment, if you were in Lilly's position wouldn't YOU do everything you could to try to fix the life altering mistake you made? I would, even if I felt a bit bad about not giving my friend a fair shot. There are no 'dibs' or 'turns' when it comes to matters of the heart.
Sure, it would be totally in character for Lilly to try.

But from a story point of view that resolution would be extremely weak.
Dewelar spent so much effort setting up the conflict between Emi and Hanako, and if he resolves it by simply making it a Hisao X Lilly Fixfic like I feared after the first chapter all of that effort would have been for nothing.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 8:07 am
by emmjay
I gotta say, regardless of who Hisao ultimately chooses, I'm interested in seeing how things develop between Hanako and Emi. Given the right circumstances, I think those two could become good friends, and that certainly seems to be a possibility here. (Although, obviously, who Hisao ends up with is going to influence what happens between them.)

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 4:38 pm
by cake307
Mirage_GSM wrote:
OutofBlues wrote:While I understand the sentiment, if you were in Lilly's position wouldn't YOU do everything you could to try to fix the life altering mistake you made? I would, even if I felt a bit bad about not giving my friend a fair shot. There are no 'dibs' or 'turns' when it comes to matters of the heart.
Sure, it would be totally in character for Lilly to try.

But from a story point of view that resolution would be extremely weak.
Dewelar spent so much effort setting up the conflict between Emi and Hanako, and if he resolves it by simply making it a Hisao X Lilly Fixfic like I feared after the first chapter all of that effort would have been for nothing.
It wouldn't necessarily be wasted- we've seen that even if he gets back with Lilly, this thing with Hisao has likely made it so that Emi and Hanako could be friends. And I'm not saying I think it's best for Lilly to get back with Hisao, though I think it wouldn't be as horrible and disastrous as everyone else seems to think it would be or as undeserved as some people seem to think. Also I'd rather not have another Hanako fic, and I'm not biased at all I swear xD

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Wed Feb 19, 2014 6:21 pm
by Blank Mage
Then there is only one solution. Hisao must date everyone. Hisao X Hanako X Lilly X Emi.

Yes. This will be the happiest ending ever.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 6:59 pm
by Crimson
Started reading this a couple of nights ago because I was bored and wanted to kill some time. I can safely say that I am nothing short of glad that I was bored that night as I probably wouldn't have come across this fic for quite some time otherwise.

I've thoroughly enjoyed it thus far. It's the first fic that I've read where Hisao has a choice between girls so, given that this is a story and not a VN, I have been completely unable to figure out who he's going to end up with, which in turn has kept me engrossed. I really like your portrayal of both Hanako and Emi. True to character (in my opinion) while possessing their own unique quirks and traits so one would know at a glance that it's your portrayal of them and nobody else's. I'm really stoked to see where you're going to take this story.


By the time I had reached chapter 5 I knew I wanted to do something with the inspiration that had welled up in those 5 chapters alone. Problem, for me, is that I'm unsure where exactly to start with that. There has been so much happening every few chapters that it's nearly impossible to pin down a singular scene that conveys the story as a whole seeing as it's still in development and Hisao has yet to officially choose who he's going to go with. I figured I could just stick around until the end and work off that, but truth be told I didn't want to wait.
So.
Seeing as there has been 3 interludes thus far, and with the last one in particular being a high-point in the story, I thought it would be best to do a short piece for each interlude and try and capture the emotion of what was happening around that time. Seeing as I'm 34 chapters late to the party I wanted to get right into it and roll with the inspiration garnered from the most recent interlude first. I'll go back and do the other two interludes when I've got the time.

Link: Developments Pt. III (The Correspondent)

Hope you don't mind me borrowing both the route and interlude titles. If you do, I'll be more than happy to rename them accordingly.

Anyway, I based the piece above on the events at the end of Ch. 33 and the interlude itself. In my head I imagined a kind of time-lapse effect of Hisao about to confess to Emi, her bolting away and attempting to run in a desperate attempt to get a hold of herself and ending with her stumbling over and eventually being seen by Takako. I really do hope it's to your liking, man. Great job on the story thus far!

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 8:16 pm
by dewelar
Crimson wrote:Extraordinarily kind words
First of all, thanks very much for reading, and I'm very glad you've enjoyed the story thus far!

Second, and more importantly, the piece you've composed for this story is beautiful. Hearing that my work has inspired someone else's creativity, especially when the result is something this appropriate, kind of takes my breath away, you know? Anyway, I don't mind your use of my route/chapter titles at all. Also, I played the piece for my blind friend to whom I read this story, and she had high praise for it as well. We both look forward to seeing what you come up with for the earlier parts of the story :D .

I haven't said anything before, but I've listened to the pieces you've composed for the Kagami and Iwanako stories and found them to reflect those works very nicely. (I can't say much about the one you did for the Akira pseudo-route, since I really never got into that fic and have only read bits and pieces of it.)

Anyway, that's some damn fine work, and knowing that it was my story that inspired it is an honor.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Thu Feb 20, 2014 8:34 pm
by Crimson
No problem, and thank you for the kind words in return! I'm glad to hear that both you and your friend enjoyed the piece. :D

All the best with the next chapter. I look forward to seeing what you've got in store. I should hopefully be able to churn out at least one of the remaining two interlude pieces in the coming week so I may just edit my other post as opposed to clogging the thread with excessive replies.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:22 am
by Leaty
Mirage_GSM wrote:Dewelar spent so much effort setting up the conflict between Emi and Hanako, and if he resolves it by simply making it a Hisao X Lilly Fixfic like I feared after the first chapter all of that effort would have been for nothing.
In fairness, that would be an awe-inspiring troll.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 7:28 am
by emmjay
Leaty wrote:
Mirage_GSM wrote:Dewelar spent so much effort setting up the conflict between Emi and Hanako, and if he resolves it by simply making it a Hisao X Lilly Fixfic like I feared after the first chapter all of that effort would have been for nothing.
In fairness, that would be an awe-inspiring troll.
Agreed. And April 1st isn't that far off...

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:21 am
by Mahorfeus
I disagree with the assertion that "it would all be for nothing" if Hisao wound up with Lilly. All of the characters involved in this love trapezoid have had significant character growth, so everybody "wins" in the end - that was the case even when it was just Hanako and Emi we had to worry about. Granted, I'm still rooting for anyone but Lilly.

Now for a true "troll ending," he'd have to end up with say, Taka-Taka or Meiko or (heavens forbid) Shizune.

Re: Developments (Post-Lilly Neutral End) - Chapter 34 up 2/

Posted: Fri Feb 21, 2014 10:48 am
by Oscar Wildecat
Oh, we don't have to look too far afield for a troll ending. The local "seaweed" will work just fine... :wink: