Katawa Shoujo Forums

I know I should not do this. I don't even have time for writing this fanfic! But I read that thread about Katawa Shounen yesterday, and of course I started to think. A story where Hanako and Hisao are of opposite genders. How would that even work? My brain started milling and I came up with this totally extravagant idea. Which I felt forced to start putting down on paper. So there you have the beginning of it.

One warning: since this is genderbending the names of the characters needed to change. Expecially Japanese names have to fit the fit the gender, Hisao's female counterpart's name is Hinata, and Hanako's male counterpart will be named Haruo. Unfortunately, more resembling names like, say, Hanao, are female... Here is a little table of the original characters, and how they recur in this story, in Given Name Family Name order, in order of appearance.

• Hisao Nakai → Hinata Nakai
• Iwanako → Ivan
• Shizune Hakamichi → Shitoshi Nakamichi
• Shiina Mikado 'Misha' → Shou Mikado 'Mi-kun'
• Hanako Ikezawa → Haruo Ikezawa
• Akio Mutou → Akina Mutou
• Yuuko Shirakawa → Yusuke Kurawaka
• Kenji Setou → Keina Setou
• Lilly Satou → Leo Johnson
• Akira Satou → Alex Johnson

Links:

• Part 2
• Part 3
• Part 4
• Part 5
• Part 6
• Part 7
• Part 8

And some introductory quotes to set the mood:

"The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun." - Ecclesiastes 1.9

"Time flows like a river, and history repeats." - Secret of Mana

"The greatest weight.-- What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more; and there will be nothing new in it, but every pain and every joy and every thought and sigh and everything unutterably small or great in your life will have to return to you, all in the same succession and sequence - even this spider and this moonlight between the trees, and even this moment and I myself. The eternal hourglass of existence is turned upside down again and again, and you with it, speck of dust!"
Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus?... Or how well disposed would you have to become to yourself and to life to crave nothing more fervently than this ultimate eternal confirmation and seal?" - Nietzsche, The Gay Science, s.341, Walter Kaufmann transl.

Now, here we go...

Love Recurrence: Katawa Shounen: Hanako & Hisao Genderbent!

My heart was trembling that afternoon. I could hardly wait until school was out, so I could go to meet him at the place I had asked him to go. But I got delayed and ended up running late. I had to hurry, so I walked with brisk steps. Then I saw him, waiting under a tree, in the middle of the snow covered field. I was feeling tired and sweaty, but I didn't want to keep him waiting. So I stepped up the pace a bit more until I reached him.

"Hinata," he said, "did you put this letter in my shoe cupboard?" Ivan asked.
"Well..." I started but then suddenly I felt an intense pain. Before I knew it I fell down to the ground, clutching my chest. I didn't even get the chance to say anything to Ivan that day.

Next I remember I woke up in a hospital. A heart attack. Arrhythmia. It turned out I had a dangerous heart disease. And even with the advanced medical science of that day, there was no way to truly cure me. I would have to take good care of myself, and take a pill every day, for the rest of my life.

I made a sour face at the doctor when she told me that, but she scolded me.

"What's it with kids these days? In your grandfather's time you would have had to take 17 pills twice per day ." she said.

But I wasn't interested. I could only think of myself and how my life suddenly had turned out all wrong.

My friends kept visiting me at first, but I had to stay in the hospital for a long time. Slowly, less and less of them came until only my parents, my grandmother and Ivan came. He treated me as if he'd already become my boyfriend, and tried to take care of me as well as he could. Sometimes he tried to talk to me, but I didn't say back much. I have to admit that at that time I was no fun to be around at all. I just kept on pouting. Finally he stopped coming too, without even a single word of explanation.

I didn't even keep in touch with my friends by the Internet. I left my phone and tablet untouched. I watched a lot of TV at first, but I became tired of that too. Finally I ended up just reading books from the hospital's library. I guess it was the only thing that could distract my mind from my own gloomy feelings.

When the day came close I could leave the hospital, my parents and grandmother came to visit me. Then my father told me that my condition would need to be followed up daily. That's why they thought it would be best for me if I didn't return to my old school. In stead, I could go to a special school that had facilities to take care of people with physical limitations. Yamaku.

At first, I was a bit daunted at the idea of going to a new school. But my grandmother especially recommended it. And I didn't care that much about my old friends anymore because I felt like they had abandoned me. So after moping on it for a few days, I finally accepted.

And then the day came I could leave the hospital. My parents had packed my suitcases, and we went there by car. Grandma also came along, of course. When we arrived, my parents took the suitcases, and I helped Grandma walk around. She was getting a bit older and had some difficulty in walking alone. Anyway, we ended up in my room. My parents came with the first set of suitcases, and then went out to get the second set.

Then Grandma took out a small bag from her hand bag. it looked a bit like a cosmetics kit.

"Hinata, I know how it goes in places like this. Boys and girls who live close to each other for twenty four hours a day, and just a few adults to supervise. So, if you're anything me when I was your age, you will need this." She said with a smile, and handed me the small bag.

"But don't talk about it or show it to your parents, they're too old fashioned about such things." I was a bit embarrassed because I knew what she was giving me, and frankly, at that time, I wasn't really in any mood to think about boys. But I have to admit Grandma knew me well and that her concern was certainly not unfounded.

"Well... Thank you..." I said as I hid the bag while Grandma leaned on her stick.

I didn't feel like talking more to Grandma, so I just helped her to a chair, and the started unpacking. Soon my parents came back with the second and final set of suitcases. They helped me unpack. When I was all set, my parents gave me some explanations, documents, keys, and a little lecture. Finally the three said their goodbyes. My father helped Granny, my mother waved, and like that they left me. To face my first night in Yamaku, alone.

Why are there so many gender bender stories recently? This is the third in a day. Anyways, interesting start, though it's kinda weird the guy's name was Ivan, considering that's not a Japanese name. Hanako was my favorite girl, so I'll definitely see where this goes.

AntonSlavik020 wrote:Why are there so many gender bender stories recently? This is the third in a day. Anyways, interesting start, though it's kinda weird the guy's name was Ivan, considering that's not a Japanese name. Hanako was my favorite girl, so I'll definitely see where this goes.

Because there's a thread in the Public Discussion board that's about Katawa Shoujo genderbent.

I am annoyed that you gave all those hints that she is Hisao's Granddaughter, but didn't tell us who Granny was...

AntonSlavik020,
Like I said before the story, just be cause I saw that thread, like Steinhertz noted, I got this idea...
True, Ivan is not Japanese, but Iwanako isn't a real Japanese name either, so it matches.

Guestimate,
One word: patience.

And followed up with part 2.

# Part 2.

That first night turned out to be no big deal. After I made sure everything was ready for the next day, I went to bed. I slept well and even woke up early before my alarm went. I got dressed and took out my text books. The documents I had were clear, so I knew where my first class of the would be. I had nothing better to do, so I just walked over there, in cool of the morning.

The class room was still empty. I didn't know better than to just take a seat in the back of the room. I though that our home room teacher would be there soon, and that I would receive some instructions from here before the other class mates came. While I sat there, I wondered a bit what my class mates would be like.

It didn't go the way I though it would. Sensei wasn't the first one to come to class. The door slid open, and two boys came in and greeted me with a bow. A sharp looking bespectacled boy with black hair, and a lively boy with outrageous curly hair dyed blond like a Yankee. I got up and bowed back.

The bespectacled boy made hands signs to the curly haired boy, who watched intently before addressing me.

"How do you do?" he said, "I am Nakamichi Shitoshi. I am your class representative and leader of the student council. And this is Mitsukado Shou, another member of the student council." The curly haired boy paused for a moment.

"Yeah, that's me! Bahaha~" he continued. "But you can call me Mi-kun."

I realized that the bond boy, Mi-kun, was acting as sign language interpreter for Nakamichi-kun, who most likely was deaf. I remained quiet as I thought about this. Nakamichi-kun looked at Mi-kun with an impatient look on his face and signed something back with lighting fast hand signs.

"Sorry for that. We heard that a new student was coming to our class..." Mi-kun said as Nakamichi-kun kept on signing.

"Ah yes!" I said as I snapped out of my pondering. "I am Hinata Nakai. How do you do? I am a new student here at Yamaku, so I'll be relying on you from now on." I bowed again.

"Thank you, and welcome to Yamaku!" Mi-kun said

"Yeah, nice to meet you to. I'm sure we'll get along well. Bhahaha~." he continued with a deep laugh.

""

I thought it must be a bit hard for Mi-kun to have to both speak for Nakamichi-kun and himself. But he seemed to be fine with it, so I guessed I would just have to get used to that strange situation.

"Don't worry, our home room teacher, Mutou-sensei, will hopefully arrive in time today." Mi-kun said, while Nakamichi-kun had an annoyed expression on his face. "Meanwhile, you can sit over there."

I moved over to the desk that they had designated for me, and we all sat down. We went over several details of class and Yamaku, and the two promised me to give me a tour of the grounds after class. Meanwhile, the other students came in to one by one. Most of them didn't pay attention to me as they went to sit down. Some of them had no obvious signs of any disabilities, while for others the ailment was immediately clear. I didn't want to to offend anyone, and I didn't know very well what to say to them, so I kept making small talk with the student council boys to appear occupied.

Then, just before class was about to start, a boy with somewhat long black hair came though and went to sit down in the back. While his bangs covered the left side of his face, I could see that under them, his face was severely scarred. But I could also feel something else... A vague, unsettling sense of recognition. When I realized I had been staring at him, I quickly turned around and continued the small talk. I quickly convinced myself that I was imagining things.

Then, a few minutes after class was supposed to start, our homeroom teacher walked in.

"Oh... everyone is already here." she said absentmindedly as she dropped her bag on the desk. Then she caught sight of me.

"Well then, let's start with the beginning. Today there is a new student in the class." She watched me intently as if to see if I would introduce myself, or if she should carry on. But I didn't really want to stand in front of the class and introduce myself, so I made a dejected face. To her credit, our homeroom teacher understood the hint, and continued.

"Her name is Nakai Hinata. I hope you will all take good care of her." She said.

Since it seemed like I could do so without reproach, and I didn't really feel like facing all these strange kids, I didn't make any efforts to stand up and bow. I guessed that at Yamaku, it was not unusual to ignore strict protocol and politeness once in a while, for the convenience of the pupils. I could see Mutou-sensei frown and then shug a little. Then she started with the lesson of the day. And that was how I started my first day at Yamaku.

And to show I have too much time om my hands, and yet don' t have enough time, here's part 3, where Hinata has some more first encounters!

After class was over Mutou-sensei had a little welcoming talk with me, and then asked the student council boys to take me to the doctor's office for my appointment there. So we made our way over to her office.

When I met the doctor, whom everybody just called 'Doc', I thought she looked a little eccentric. She had a smile locked constantly on her face, tiny eyes that always looked like they were closed, and her hair dyed bright purple in a short ponytail. But she seemed kind and understanding enough. She did encourage me to remember taking my medication and to do some light daily exercise. I still didn't care much about that, but I thanked her anyway.

Next, the student council boys took me to the cafeteria for lunch. We chatted more about Yamaku, and the council, and they even tried to rope me in as a member, but I politely declined. We went back to class for the afternoon lessons.

When those lessons were over, the boys took me back to the cafeteria for dinner and started to talk to me again about joining the council. Nakamichi-kun even challenged me to a game of Risk over it, but I pretended I didn't know how to play the game. Finally, to get them off my back, and also because I wanted to do some reading, I took my leave of them, and went to look for the library.

The library turned out to be just where I had expected it from the map I read the day before. I was welcomed by the librarian, a clumsy red headed guy named Yusuke Kurawaka. While he was clumsy, he was also very friendly. He welcomed me to Yamaku and told me about the library rules. After I had taken in his advice, I went on into the library to look for something to read.

I let my eyes wander over the books, and the racks of books, filled with more books. Of course, I could have borrowed any of these works digitally to read on my tablet. But I always felt that it wasn't the same as holding a real paper book. So I was glad the Yamaku library still had an ample collection of them. I took out one book that had caught my eye, and then went to look for a place to read it.

And then I saw him. The scarred boy from before. He was sitting in a couch in the reading area, focused on reading his book. I looked at his face, and I felt that odd feeling of recognition again. But there was another feeling too. My heart started to race, and I felt strangely hot. My face became red. Worried, I felt my chest. But it wasn't like that other day that had changed my life for the worse. My heart was light and I felt... elated?

I don't know how long I stood there just staring at him, but after a while, he must have felt my presence, at looked up at me with a piercing, almost angry look.

"Haruo. Ikezawa Haruo. That's what you wanted to know right? My name?" he said with a gruff tone in his voice.

"Ah, um, yes. How do you do! I'm Nakai Hinata! As you probably already know..." I blurted out, embarrassed that I had been caught staring. I quickly wanted to change the subject.

"So, you like to read real books too? " I said, as I gestured to the book in my hand.

"Yes I do." he said, visibly miffed at my staring.

"At least, if no inquisitive girls who can't leave me in peace are around to bother me!" he burst out at me. Touche! I couldn't suppress an embarrassed grin on my face.

"Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go do something." he said with a bored tone. Then he got up, and with a brisk pace, he walked away from the reading area, without even looking back once.

When he was gone, I literally smacked myself on the front. Silly Hinata-chan. Why did I have to stare at him like that? How rude of me to stare at a person who'd obviously would be uncomfortable being starred at. I should have just introduced myself first, and then our encounter would have gone down a lot more smoothly.

Not knowing what to do next, I sat down in the place he was sitting before. But I didn't start to read the book. His pointed remark had taken me aback, but my elated feeling remained. Surely, it was normal that he'd react like that? It mustn't have been the first time that he'd caught someone staring at him. And he looked so calm and composed while he was reading his book. I thought that surely he was that kind of boy I liked to read about in novels and comics. A boy with a gruff outer shell, but with a sweet, kind heart on the inside... That is how I sat there daydreaming for a while.

Finally, I decided to borrow the book and go back to my room. It was getting late so I dropped off my book and decided to hit the common shower. I had already taken off my clothes, and was just about to run the water when another girl came in from outside the room, stark naked. She had short dark brown hair and was wearing a thick pair of glasses. Then suddenly, she noticed me, walked over to me and squeezed my breasts!

"Good, you're a sister. For a moment there I thought you were one of the patriarchs." she said.

"Patriarchs?" I said.

"Yes, you know, the evil men who want to suppress and enslave all of womankind. I noticed that someone new had occupied the empty room across mine, and I was afraid the patriarchs had sent an agent. But you're a sister, so you can't be one of them." she said with a smile. My mind reeled at all the implications. Then she stepped back, bowed and introduced herself.

"Setou Keina. How do you do? But please, call me Kei-nee, since we are sisters after all. As I said, I live in the room across yours." she said.

"Hinata Nakai. How do you do?" I said. "Well, then, 'Kei-nee', it's a pleasure to meet you, but before we continue talking, don't you think we should do what we came he for. Like, take a shower?"

"Ah, but of course! How silly of me, Hi-nee!" she said with a conspiring tone. "But you see, I already showered today. I only came here to check on you."

"But, but... why did you take of your clothes then?" I protested as my mind was sent reeling again.

"Silly Hi-nee-chan, because that's what you do before you enter a shower!" she riposted with a wide grin.

"What" was the only thing I managed to say.

"Well, nice to get to know you. I'll be going now. The fight against the patriarchy waits for no woman." she said, and walked out of the shower room, still stark naked. Surely, she wasn't someone with a lot of common sense. Perhaps not even someone who made a lot of sense at all.

After she had left, I took my shower and got dressed again. I returned to my room, read the book I had borrowed for a while, took my pill and then went to bed. The encounter with Keina had distracted me a bit but while I was lying down, my thoughts returned to Haruo-kun. Hmmm... what a cool, dreamy boy, I thought. And caught in such dreams, I fell asleep.

And that is how my first day at Yamaku ended.

I'm on a roll, though perhaps I should quality check a bit more? Anyway, here is part 4, where the plot thickens.

# Part 4

The next day I went to class as if it I already had gotten used to it. Not that I had, but I didn't want to think back about the past. Just keeping to my daily occupation would be enough for the time. At lunch time, I didn't want to eat together with the student council boys. I was tired of their egging me on. I hadn't made any other acquaintances yet, and I felt like eating alone that day. So I quickly slipped out of class, grabbed a few packaged rice balls in the cafeteria, and then went to look for a place to eat them.

I returned to the classroom, but the council boys were still there, so I had to go look for a different place. Then I noticed that a bit more farther in the hallway, a door was standing ajar. It didn't look like a classroom or a cupboard. Perhaps this was one of those empty storage rooms? That could be a nice place to eat without anyone bothering me. So I opened the door, and stepped in, but what I saw surprised me.

A foreign looking, handsome young man, with his blond hair and clothes arranged very neatly, was sitting at a table with four chairs next to the window, staring in front of him. When he heard me enter, he cocked his head.

"Haruo-kun?" he said with some doubt on his face.

Then I noticed his cane standing next to him and it hit me that he was most likely blind or had a very low eyesight at the very least.

"No, I am Nakai Hinata from class 3-1. Emmm.. how do you do?" I said hesitantly as I bowed. Perhaps he didn't see it but for some reason I felt like I should be ladylike around Leo.

"I am Johnson. Leo Johnson. I'm an exchange student and also class representative of class 3-2. You must be the be the new student in class 3-1?" he said with a nod of his head and a foreign accent to his Japanese.

"Y..yes, that's right. Erm... I was just looking for a place to eat my lunch, but..." I said.

"Ah, no, it's not a problem. Haruo and me often eat our lunch or dinner together in this room. Faculty staff said we are free to use this room as long as we keep it clean. But I think you know Haruo from your class? If you don't mind waiting a bit for him, you're welcome to join us." he said.

"Ah it's OK? Well then, I'll take you up on your invitation." I went to sit down across Leo, smiling. Of course I jumped at his invitation. How lucky I thought, I'd be able to apologize to Haruo for yesterday, tell him more about myself, and get to know him better all at once.

I exchanged a bit of small talk with Leo, but I wasn't paying too much attention. I was waiting for Haruo to come. After just a few minutes, he came in with a tray full of food and drinks. He gave me just one look, then put the tray down on the table and sat down next to me. Without a word to me, started to put Leo's part of the food in front of him.

I stood up immediately and made a deep bow.
"I am deeply sorry for tthe way I starred at you yesterday.. I have..." I daid,
but he interrupted me.

"It's fine. No need to apologise." he said.

"Huh? But..." is all I could utter.

"I said it's fine. don't sweat it. It's not like I'm not used to it." he said gruffly. "In fact, if anyone, I should apologize for snapping at you."

"No, no, it's fine. I deserved that." I said. He just shrugged at that. Seeing that he didn't say anything else, I sat down again.

"So I see you already know each other." Leo said in an attempt to lighten the mood.

"Well yes! I met Ikezawa-kun yesterday in the library. I like real books, you see." I said in the hope of distracting attention from the previous debacle.

"Haruo is fine," he said in a deadpan way, "Since I guess we'll be eating lunch together more often."

"Ah, yes, I'd love to! Thank you for having me. Please call me Hinata then." I said with a smile.

"You're welcome to join us anytime." Leo said, with a smile.

Haruo didn't seem too thrilled though, and just started to eat without. Leo seemed to hear what was going on and follow his lead. I didn't know what to say next, so I took a bite out of my rice ball as well.

And that's how we had lunch, quietly chewing on our food. When we finished eating, Leo tried to blow life back in our conversation, but his efforts fell flat as Haruo only replied briefly or not at all. Finally the warning bell rang and we made our way back to the classroom.

Haruo went to sit in the back and I took my place in front. I felt a bit less lucky now. While I did get to apologize, his reaction was a bit different than I had expected. Still, I felt some admiration for what I imagined to be his quiet, strong attitude. And all in all, I thought, it meant that from then on I'd have a lot of opportunities to talk to him. Good going, Hinata-chan, I congratulated myself without much merit.

But I was right though. For the rest of the week, I would go to the spare room for lunch, and sometimes for dinner whenever Haruo and Leo where there.

At those occasions, Leo told me more about himself. In the beginning he came to Yamaku as an exchange student just for for a few months, but he enjoyed his stay and learning Japanese so much that he applied to and managed to get a permanent inscription until his graduation.

Haruo on the other hand didn't talk about himself. He did sem to open up a bit though, and we'd manage to talk about pedestrian things, like the classes, food, life at Yamaku.... Our disabilities were never mentioned, apart from Leo's tendency too make some puns with the word "see". Apparently he was completely at peace with his limitations.

It turned out that Haruo and Leo liked to play Othello against each other. They even had a special set for blind people so Leo could feel which color was up. Before long, I'd join their game as well, and since I played this game against my father a lot before, I could win relatively often.

The school festival was also coming up. Haruo was helping Leo out with the preparations, so I also joined in in making the stall for class 3-2. Nakamichi-kun and Mi-kun made a few attempts in getting me to help them with the student council duties. But at that time I already had gotten adept at brushing them off, so I stayed out if their clutches.

And that's how I spent my first week at Yamaku.

And immediately followed by part 5, the school festival.

# Part 5

On the day of the festival I walked around the stalls. While much of the unhealthy, delicious food was tempting, I was able to resist and limit the damage to a bowl of noodles from class 3-2's noodle stand. But that was more because I worried about putting on weight than about keeping healthy.

I didn't see Haruo anywhere, so I went to look for him. And of course I found in the library, sitting on the couch in the reading area. But since I already had gotten to know him a bit, I felt more bold than at our previous meeting in the library.

"Do you want to go out and get some food." I asked him.

"No, I already have some." he said as he pointed to the plate on the low table in front of him. He really was well prepared to avoid the crowds outside, I though.

"Well, then, woudl you mind if I join you?" I asked. He seemed to sigh a bit, as if he was debating internally if he'd let me. But then he yielded.

"It's fine." he said. I quickly looked for a book. I don't know what gave me such temerity, but once I found one, I took it and went to sit in the same couch as Haruo. I satd down right next to him, with our shoulders and arms touching. I expected him to protest at this, but when I glanced to the side, I saw he just kept on reading.

Wait, what was that? A blush? A tiny, embarrassed smile. I didn't want to stare, though, and my head was getting red too, so I opened the book I was holding and hid myself hid my face in it. And we sat like that for a few hours, reading our books. But just sitting next to Haruo like that, I strangely felt embarrassed and excited at the same time.

When the hubbub of the school festival outside quieted down, Leo came to the Library as well. He had no difficulty finding us in the back of the library. He suggested that it might be a good idea to escape the school festival and go have a drink of tea at a tea house in town. It would also be a good opportunity for me to get tho know the town outside of Yamaku.

Haruo and I agreed, and the three of us made our way out of school, walking down the hill towards the town below. They took me to an old fashion looking tea shop called the "Shangai". I learned that the shop was very old. It had been taken over and renovated a few times over the years. But it was still a popular place for Yamaku students to go. I was a bit surprised to see that Yusuke worked there too as a waiter, his second part time job to pay for his studies.

We stayed at the Shanghai, drank some tea, and ate some sandwiches, until the Yamaku's school festival fireworks started. Together with Haruo, I watched the lovely lights of the fiery flowers though the window. I'm sure that it was more than that sight that made me feel exited as I sat next to Haruo.

Finally the conversation turned on what to do the next day.

"Say, Hinata-chan, you've been at Yamaku for about a week now. I imagine you'll probably have to go shop somewhere?" Leo said.

"Ah yes, thank you for reminding me." I said. It was true, some of my supplies were starting to run low.

"Well then, you probably don't know where the shops are here? Would you like one of us to take you there tomorrow?" Leo said.

"Oh yes, that would be nice, thank you." I said.

"I'll take you." Haruo suddenly interjected. "I need some stuff for myself too."

"Well that's perfect, then, because I'm a bit occupied. I still have to do some council paperwork about the budget of the festival, and Nakamichi-kun is breathing fire down my neck about it." Leo said. I smiled a bit as I imagined Nakamichi-kun as a fire-breathing dragon.

"So thanks for the help, Haruo-kun. That is, if Hinata is OK with your plan" Leo continued.

"I have no objections at all." I said with a wide smile that may have given away more than I wanted.

"Just don't make a nuiscance out of ourself." Haruo took the wind right out of my sails, but by now, I dared to make a reply to his snide remarks.

"Of course not, I'll be the perfect lady." I said.

Haruo just shrugged. And like that, it was time to go back to Yamaku. We paid our bill, and found our way back to the foot of the hill on which Yamaku is built. But there, I started to feel that maybe I should have listened to Doc about doing some light exercise. The climb was much heavier than I expected. I tried to hide it and keep the pace of the two boys, but I got out of breath halfway. And then I felt it. A heart flutter.

"Hey, you OK???" Haruo said with a worried look when he saw me clutch my chest.

But the flutter passed soon. I was tempted to brush it off, and lie to him. After all, I didn't want him to know that I was broken inside... that maybe I wouldn't live very long... But then I looked at his face and realized that it would be unfair to do so. He had no way of hiding his scars.So I should not hide what was wrong with me to him either.

"I have a heart problem. Arrhythmia. I have to be a bit careful about exerting myself, or about blows to my chest." I admitted. "But I am OK now, it has passed already."

"You sure you are OK now?" Haruo said. He was visibly worried.

"Yes it's OK now." I said.

"Still, I think it a good idea to take it slowly, Hinata-chan, so you don't get into any more trouble." Leo interjected. I just nodded.

The two boys then started to walk aside me with small, slow steps, and now, I found it easier to keep up with them. They patiently walked on until we reached the school. Finally we said good night to each other in front of the dorms. Tired as I was, I went to my room, took my pill, and after a quick shower, I went to bed. Haruo-kun, thanks for your kind concern, I thought. And with such dreams in my mind, I fell asleep.

And that's how I spent my day on the school festival of Yamaku.

I'm on a roll, though perhaps I should quality check a bit more?

Probably. Those last chapters had more typos than the others.
I have to admit that all those names are confusing me.

"Say, Hakamichi-chan, you've been at Yamaku for about a week now...

But it seems I'm not the only one ^^°
It's a bit strange how half the characters seem to be descendants of the original KS cast while the other half are unrelated people with strangely similar sounding names. Maybe the relation was not such a good idea...

Oh and try ending a chapter on something other then "And that's how..."

Yes, I have to admit that all the new names are something to get used to, and even I mess up. :p

But since this is gender bending there's no way to keep the original names anyway.
I keep the names similar as a convenience to the reader to make remembering them somewhat easier,
but also in keeping with the theme of Recurrence. Once you follow the idea of Recurrence,
you'll can probably deduce why some characters have the same family name and some a similar one, and some a completely different one.

I'll add a table of names on the top for further reference.

And the "and that's how" is there on purpose to remind you that the point of view is that of Hinata recounting her past. And as fan disservice.

On with part 6. Shopping!


# Part 6

The next morning Haruo was waiting outside of the dorm to accompany me on our shopping trip. It was a lovely morning. The sun shone down brightly on the grounds of Yamaku. I noticed Haruo was wearing a baseball cap, no doubt to protect his sensitive skin from the sun. I considered that maybe I should go back to get a hat, because I didn't want to get freckles. But I was glad to see Haruo and I didn't want to keep him waiting, so I just greeted him and we went on our way.

Haruo didn't say much during our walk to town. But I could feel he was keeping an eye out for me. I guessed he was still worried a bit about what had happened the day before. The downhill walk was easy enough for me, though, so it wasn't long before we reached a rather large convenience shop in the town below.

Before we went in, Haruo lowered the rim of his cap. It struck me then that he was wearing the cap for more than just protection against the sun. With the rim lowered like that, it would partially hide his scars from casual looks. We went inside, got a basket and started to collect the items that we needed.

I saw that whenever someone in the shop was looking in Haruo's direction and he noticed it, he would turn his head so the rim of his cap would cover his face even more. A well-practiced motion, I thought. Although he had told me he was used to people staring at him, it dawned on me that that was probably just bluster. Likely he didn't feel too comfortable at being watched at all.

We continued shopping for a while. But then I saw that he put some spices and herbs in his basket. I was a bit surprised at that.

"Hauro-kun, what do need those spices for? You like to put them on the cafeteria food to make it taste better?" I said. Haruo looked at me with a face that had 'you silly girl' written all over it, but then gave a tiny smirk.

"I like to cook." he said. "Sometimes."

But of course. Silly Hinata-chan, I thought! There was a kitchen on every floor in our dorms. There must have been one for every floor in the boys dorms as well. Why didn't I think about that? I had to say something, quickly!

"Ah, but that's very nice! Nowadays, both men and women have to know how to cook, right!" I said with some bravado. In fact, I was embarrassed, because I didn't know how to cook at all! For all my life I had just relied on my parents, or if they were out working, on the convenience shop or the fast food restaurant.

"Come to lunch tomorrow. If you want to try my cooking that is." he said, somewhat amused at my exaggerated reaction.

"Thanks, I'll make sure to come then!" I quickly nodded. But I wanted to change the subject so I continued. "It looks like I have everything I need. How about you?"

"I need some more ingredients for tomorrow." he said. We walked around a bit more and he picked up some vegetables and some fresh fish.

"That's about it." he said with a small nod. And like that, we walked to the checkout counter, paid, and left the shop. We made our way to the foot of the hill.

Slowly we climbed up to Yamaku in silence. The view of nature that surrounded us us was really relaxing to my mind. I decided then that from the next day, if the weather was nice, I'd wake up half an hour earlier and go for a solitary walk. I still didn't feel like meeting too many other people, but I'd have to improve my condition so Haruo-kun wouldn't always have to slow down for my sake.

We split up at the dorms. I went back to my room and considered catching up with my studies a bit, but I ended up spending most of the day idling in bed, daydreaming about Haruo. I was really looking forward to tasking his cooking.

And that is how I first went shopping together with Haruo at Yamaku.

Followed immediately by part 7: a home cooked lunch.

# Part 7

The next day came, and after my morning walk, I went to class. Haruo came too, as always, just before the lessons started. However, about halfway in the morning, Haruo got up, and slipped out of the classroom. I was surprised that the teacher or the other pupils didn't say anything about this. Maybe he did this more often, for some reason?

At lunch break, I made for the Othello room, had I had called it. Leo was already waiting for us there and welcomed me, but Haruo hadn't arrived yet. The way Haruo had left class was till on my mind, and I considered that Leo should know more about it.

"Say, Leo, this morning Haruo left class easry. Just like that. And no one reacted to it... But I was a bit surprised..." I ventured.

"Yes, I know. Haruo sometimes skips class. Sometimes it's just for a few hours, but sometimes he'll skip for a few days." he said.

"But why didn't the teacher react to this?" I wondered.

"Well, this is Yamaku after all. The teacher are taking his situation into consideration. And even though he skips class, he's got excellent grades, so it's not like it affects his studies." Leo said.

"Still, why would he do such a thing?" I asked.

"Haruo told me that he gets bored in class. That he prefers to go read, or cook or play with his computer, or study alone." Leo said , visibly thinking whether he should continue or not "... But I think... it's also because he has a hard time coming to class, sometimes."

I was taken aback at that. Sure, I had realized that Haruo didn't feel too comfortable at other people's stares. But I didn't think it would be to the point where he skipped class.

While I was pondering this, Haruo opened the door, and came in, carrying three big lunch boxes. He closed the door behind him. With some conscious effort, I shifted my face from worried to happy at lighting speed. I didn't want him to know I has been talking about him behind his back.

"Ah there you are! I was getting so hungry! I'm was realy ooking forward to tasting your cooking." I blurted out.

"Oh? Your patience will be rewarded." he said with a little smirk. He put the lunch boxes in front of us, gave us some chopsticks and went to sit down.

"I humbly partake!" I said as I folded my hands in front of my face, and opened the lunch box. And my mouth fell agape in amazement. It was chock full of different items, each one of them very tasty looking. There were neatly shaped small rice balls in cute shapes, slivers of raw fish with freshly grated radish and shisho leaves, a fillet of the same fish baked with a bread and herb crust, a corn croquette, neatly sliced in two halves, some decoratively cut tomato with a light dressing and some pickled zucchini elegantly placed in the center of the box.

"Hmmm, I can see that you did a great job on your home made lunch box. As ususual." Leo said with an appreciating smile, after he had opened his lunchbox as well. He started eating. "HAA! TASTYYYY!" he added after he swallowed his first bite.

I didn't know what to say or do, but I was starting to feel embarrassed. Even in my daydreams, I never thought Haruo was that good of a cook!

"Hinata-chan, are you just going to sit there with your mouth open, or are you going to put some food in it?" Haruo said in a deadpan tone. Touche again!

"Ah, I was just... admiring your lovely cooking. But I'll eat it now. it would be a shame to let it go to waste, right?" I said with a smile, and I quickly stuffed the croquette in my mouth. But I was surprised again. The croquette was even more tasty than it looked! Crunchy and scrumptious on the outside, with soft sweet corn and just the right creaminess on the inside. I swallowed and it gently slid down my throat, as the aroma still lingered.

"Haa! Ta-styyyy!" I blurted out. For a moment I was in gourmand heaven, and I didn't care what Haruo or Leo would think. Fortunately, Haruo made no reply to my clumsy words. But then, I could see something I hadn't seen before. On his face was something else than a smirk. No, it was a tiny, genuine smile he smiled both with his lips and his eyes. Was he happy to see that I like his food? I jumped at the occasion.

"Oh, but this is really very tasty!" I continued, and I continued to eat with lots of gusto to show my heartfelt appreciation. Haruo's smile disappeared as quickly as it has come though, and he just started to eat his food too. I didn't know what else to do, so I just kept eating as well, savoring the delicacies, until I had swept my lunch box clean.

"I was a feast!" I said when I was finished. And that wasn't a polite exaggeration at all. "If you keep on cooking for me like this, I'll grow fat!" I said jokingly as I patted my stomach.

"Oh? Then maybe you could cook something lighter for us next time?" Haruo said. Touché again! How did he keep on finding my weak spots like that? I didn't even know how to bake an egg, so I needed an escape, quickly.

"Ah, I'd love to, but you see, I have a lot of studying to catch up with, so, I'm sorry to say, but I don't have enough time to cook for you any time soon. I'll make up for it to you in a different way..." I said as I freaked out.

"Haruo-kun, stop teasing Hinata-chan like that." Leo said with a mock-angry tone. "She is not used to your sense of humor yet." Wait, what!? That was just a joke!?

"He's right. Sorry to fool you there, Hinata-chan." he answered with a slight, but genuine smile again. I just sat there stunned for a while, until I was able to wring my face back into shape.

"Ah, no it's fine. A joke. You trickster, you, Haruo-kun. Hahaha..." I said as I felt like sinking into the ground. Haruo mercifully left it at that and before long he and Leo had finished their meal too. Haruo stood up and started to clean up and on his cue, I stood up too and helped him.

"You know, we should really hurry a bit." Leo said. "Maybe you guys didn't notice because the door was closed, but I already heard the warning bell. And the start bell..." I looked at my watch and saw that we were running late indeed.

Haruo took Leo by the arm and together, we guided him to his classroom. Quickly Haruo and I went to our class, and we tried to sneak in by the back door. Of course, that didn't work out. Everybody just turned around and stared laughing at us coming in together late. And the student council boys started to pester us and said that we'd have to help them now doing the council's work, as a punishment.

I felt terribly embarrassed and my eyes were getting wet. I turned around and ran back to the door, and out of the classroom, letting my tears come out. But as I was sniveling in the hallway I noticed that Haruo had followed me.

"Hey, don't let those two bullies get you down!" he said, as he patted me on the shoulder. "Come on, let's escape to the library!" At his touch, I was like electrified, and I stopped crying right away. We started running to the library, and once we got there, hid in a secluded space that had a few desks and chairs, surrounded by books and racks.

We went to sit down on the chairs, and Haruo faced me. I took out a hankerchief and wiped my face. I bet my make up was ruined, but I didn't care then. We were safe.

"You OK now?" he said.

"Yes, I'm fine now." I said. "You know, those two, they don't mean it badly. It's not like they're really bullying me. I just felt embarrassed..."

"I know those two, but it's not because we're late that they can talk shit like that to you." he said.

"Well, yes. But we should try to come on time to class next." I added, and I almost smacked myself on the front as I realized that I was talking about attending class correctly and playing hooky at the same time. Haruo didn't seem to catch on though, or was he being merciful again?

Anyway, seeing that I had calmed down, Haruo stood up and started to look for a book. I didn't know better than to do the same. When we both found a book, we went to sit down in the reading area, on the couch. We just read in silence, but I felt completely calmed down and comforted, just by his presence.

After an hour or so, he looked up from his book, as if he was pondering something.

"You know..." he started. I said nothing but put my book aside and have him an encouraging nod.
"... this... is the result of the Great Northern Earthquake." he said.
"You mean the one about ten years ago? " I asked.

"Yes, that one." he said. "Anyway, ... my father and I lived up there in an old wooden house." He hesitated a bit before he continued.

"It collapsed in the quake, and caught fire. I was almost killed. My father... didn't make it." He said, and I could see it pained him to bring back those memories.

"As for my mother... I don't know. She abandoned me to my father's care at birth. I had to go live in an orphanage." He said, and looked away.

"I had no idea!" I said. Then suddenly I realized something. He was opening up to me! "But, why are you telling me all this now?"

"It's only fair. You also told us about your condition." he said. Then he stood up.

"Sorry, it's hard for me to talk about it. Please excuse me." he said as he got ready to leave. But I didn' t want to let him go like that. I quickly stood up next to him.

"I know I don't understand, but... if you want to talk about it to me, I'll listen." I said. "I want to help you." A frown came to his face, and he looked even more tired, but then he made a small bow.

"Maybe. See you, Hinata-chan." he said, and with brisk pace he walked away.

With him gone, I didn't feel like reading anymore, so I went to the cafeteria to get my dinner. I took some stuff I could eat in my room, which I did. And then the usual pills and shower and to bed. Thinking about Haruo, I understood that it wasn't just his scars that caused him problems. It must have been traumatic to lose your only parent like that. But still, knowing all that, I ended up daydreaming about him anyway. And then I fell asleep and dreamed of him in earnest.

And that is how I ate Haruo's home cooked meal for the first time at Yamaku.

And part 8, yet another lunch break.

# Part 8


The next day, I noticed Haruo slipping out from class again, this time just before lunch break. I wondered what got into him to play hooky at such a time.

When the bell rang, I wanted to leave class to go look for him, but Mutou-sensei came to me for a talk. She waited until the other pupils left the class room before she addressed me.

"You know, those two boys, they asked me to apologize on their behalf. They did not want to talk to you directly because they were worried they'd upset you again." she said.

"No, I understand. The student council is responsible for reminding us of the school rules. And they didn't mean it badly. I just, ... got embarrassed. That was all." I said.

"So no hard feelings?" Mutou-sensei said.

"No, I they can talk to me directly again if they like. Although I hope they won't ask me to join the council again." I said with a little sad smile.

"Good to have that cleared out." she said, "But there's one more thing"

Of course, she was going to lecture me on skipping class. I made a sour face at the thought.

"It's good that you are making new friends, but you still have a lot of studying to catch up with. And it's OK to help other people here, but don't forget to take care of yourself first." she said. Well, that wasn't what I had expected to hear.

"Ah? I thought you were going to scold me about skipping class yesterday?" I confessed.

"Well, I'd prefer if you attended. But I also have to take into consideration yours and other pupil's situations. If for some reason it's too hard on you to come to, or to stay in class, or if you have a friend who needs help, then I'm willing to let it slip. As long as your grades don't suffer. I sent the lectures of yesterday to yours and Haruo's mail..." she said.

"I... I understand. Thank you very much for your kind consideration." I said with a deep bow. For once I was glad that I was at Yamaku, a school where they'd show me a little bit more lenience than in a regular school. But the part about the grades would mean I'd really have to start to be more serious. I had heard from Leo that Haruo had good grades, and I didn't want him to think of me as a silly girl.

"That's enough. You may go now." she said.

And off I went, I din't really think I would Haruo there, but I went to the Othello room anyway just in case. But it turned out that Haruo was actually there with some cafeteria food for two.

"Leo's not coming today." he said. "Class rep business."

"I see. Sorry to keep you waiting." I said.

"Gave you an earful, did she?" He said, but I could see from his little smile that he knew Mutou-sensei had been most gracious.

"Oh, it wasn't too bad. " I said. "She did warn me that if I was late one more time, I would get cleaning duty for a month." I joked.

"That so?" Haruo said, with a small smile still on his face. "I'll drop you off early then."

I went to sit down facing him. He put the food he'd gotten for me in front of me. We started to eat. We didn't say a word whilst eating, but I enjoyed just being together with him there. I finished eating and just said there, relaxing. There was one thing that bothered me.

He had opened up a bit to me because I had told him about my condition. But I had skipped an important detail. Ivan. I had wanted to hide this from everyone, and especially from Haruo, because I feared ridicule and complications. But Haruo had told me so mush about his painful past. Surely he'd a botched love declaration was nothing compared to what he had been through?

"Emmm, you know, I told you about my heart before," I started. Haruo looked me straight in the eye as I started talking, but gently this time.

"... but there's something I didn't tell you." I gathered my courage and continued.

"Oh?" was all Haruo said. But his way of talking felt encouraging somehow.

"Yes, you see, I found out I had this problem about half a year ago. When I had a heart attack." I continued.

"That... must have been painful." he said, but his eyes looked genuinely concerned.

"Yes, yes it was... but you see, It happened when I was just about..." I took a deep breath. "It happened when I was about to confess to a boy I liked. Ivan was his name. Nothing came of it, of course, but..." I halted, my head had gotten red and I felt tears welling in my eyes.

"That sounds... embarrassing?" he said, but then he noticed I was about to start sobbing. "Hey, it's OK. I won't tell anyone."

"No... I mean, thank you... I mean... I just felt I had to tell you this, otherwise it wouldn't be fair..." I managed to calm myself down, took out my handkerchief, and removed the few tears in my eyes, taking care not to ruin my make up.

"I see." he said. He seemed to ponder what I had said a bit.

"And thank you for keeping my secret. I'll keep yours too." I added.

"OK. Thanks." he said with some marked relief. Then for a few moments I just stared around the room, not knowing what to say. It seemed to me he was doing the same.

"Say... " he hesitated, but then continued. "Leo and me, we sometimes like to talk at night. Over tea."

"Ah, yes?" I was a bit surprised at his change of the subject, but wanted to forget about Ivan, so I grabbed the chance with both hands. "But, this building is closed in the night, isn't it?"

"Yes. So we meet in Leo's room." Haruo said.

"Oh, in the boys dorm?" I said

"Right. So, ... would you'd like to join us?" he said with a hopeful tone.

"Ah?" I said, taken aback bit at the possible implications. He started to blush.

"No funny business, of course!" he emphasized as he looked away.

"Oh no, I think I can trust you guys." I said with a hand wave. "If you and Leo don't mind. I'd love to come." I continued.

"You know how to sneak in?" He asked. Ah yes! We weren't supposed to go to the dorm of the opposite sex at night. But from what I'd seen, there was only one night guard for the whole of Yamaku. He seemed easy enough to avoid.

"I think I'll manage." I said.

"Good. Then come Thursday night." he said. with a sint smile.

"Understood, it's a promise!" I said as I beamed a wide smile. The warning bell rang. "Come on, let's clean up quickly and go!" And so we left the Othello room and went back to class, and this time, we weren't late.

The rest of the day went by as usual. Back in my room, in bed, I thought about what we had talked about. My my, I'm becoming a naughty girl, I though as I envisaged sneaking in the boy's dorm. But it was just for tea, so it was fine. And with my dreams of Haruo, I fell asleep.

And that is how I made an appointment to sneak into a boy's room for the first time at Yamaku.

I didn't really think I would find Haruo there...

...But I also have to take into consideration yours and other pupil's situations.
...
I sent the lectures of yesterday to yours and Haruo's mail...

"...your and other pupil's situations" and "your and Haruo's mail"
Otherwise fewer typos in this one.