A newcomer's thoughts on Katawa Shoujo
Posted: Tue Jul 16, 2013 6:37 am
Per Xanatos' suggestion, I am creating a new thread for this, a (somewhat) full accounting of my feelings on this game during my first playing of each character. Note: I have only played Good Endings, except where noted, and...yeah, I really don't care about 100% completion, and likely never will. So, taking my best shot at this. I've never written this kind of detailed review of anything before, because I've never been moved to do so until now.
I described Katawa Shoujo on another board as "near-pure win". I meant exactly that. I know these sentiments have probably been said a hundred or a thousand or more times before, but I have done my best not to read any of them so that I can bring you my unsullied..."feels", to use the community's chosen colloquialism. Below, I'm going to go through the Ladies of the Game in the order in which I discovered their arcs, and then...well, I haven't decided exactly what yet. Some of the details may be vague, but I'll be replaying each of these arcs over time, because every. single. one is worth experiencing again.
A few words. I don't consider myself a fan of anime, manga, or eroge as a rule. Or, perhaps, better to say WAS not. I've watched a few shows here and there. However, in the past few weeks, I've begun exploring visual novels and the intertwined bishoujo/ren'ai genres. I really don't know the language of the genres yet beyond general cultural osmosis of hanging out on the Internet. Thus, I qualify all of this by saying that, for the most part, it is ALL new to me. Mock me if you dare .
(Added after finishing the process of writing this: I originally thought I was going to write this over the course of days. I did it in less than two hours. Did I mention I was burning to write about this game? I think I did.)
=== IT BEGINS ===
I mentioned in another thread that when I first loaded the game, I determined to just go in and do what felt right. By that, I meant that I was going to go in backwards - rather than taking what I would do and mapping it onto the protagonist, I was going to do my best to figure out what I thought Hisao HIMSELF would do, based on what little information I had of him.
Of course, at what I felt was my first meaningful choice, I faltered at that strategy. I refer to the game of Risk. I have played Risk with friends and family many times, so I actually tried to picture the board and what I would do. I went with the defensive option, not realizing I was essentially washing myself out of an arc. Ah, well.
So, the next place that a choice seemed to matter, I was back in Hisao's head. I'm at the track, running with Emi, and thinking that this guy is wanting to test his limits. Exactly the opposite of what I'd probably do in the situation, I picked "Go for it", and wound up plunging straight into Emi's arc.
=== EMI ===
I enjoyed this arc SO MUCH. The fact that I pretty much knew which choices to make along the route without even having to think about it was a bonus. It meant I played through a full arc before having to worry about going back, which probably went a long way toward hooking me on the game. That, combined with what led me into the arc, means that I think this is the most NATURAL arc in the game. It all feels so organic to me. Every scene made SENSE. This will also be the first arc I replay, because I feel like I missed so much because of my approach. The ending just made me happy, period, but the details are a bit hazy now. I will say that I absolutely LOVED the scene in the track shed, and the aftermath. SO much fun, even if it was a bit longer than it might have been.
This was just damn good fun to experience, and fulfilling to boot. It will also be the one about which I have the least to say, for now. However, it also gave me good introductions to all the other girls, and a taste of what each of their arcs would be.
=== RIN ===
Having run through the game once, I then picked the girl I knew *I* wanted to get to know next. For me, it could only be Rin. I won't go too much into why, but I think mostly it was because I related to her most.
At first, the arc felt almost stagnant, with all of its long scenes of just...being. I am no longer used to that state of mind, so it was like having to put myself in the mind of my own past to be here. I LIVED this for a while (not going to get too personal yet), and at first it was difficult to put myself there again. It was difficult to the point that I biffed a couple of choices in the beginning and wound up on the roof with Kenji instead. As I went deeper, it became easier, more...for want of a better word, normal. I did find myself repeatedly being jarred by Hisao's inability to grasp where Rin's head was, because damn it, I KNEW. For those of you who know Heinlein, I GROKKED Rin.
When I reached the point where you're talking to the art teacher and, essentially, telling Rin to do the exhibition, I thought I'd biffed something again. I felt the darkness encroaching, and could do nothing to stop it. It was the first time I went to look at a walkthrough, just to see if I'd chosen poorly, but that wasn't it. I had to step away from the game for a while and consider how to approach it, and then a light bulb went on. Knowing what I knew of the character, the darkness WAS inevitable, at some point. It was just a question of getting to the other side in one piece, more or less.
Even so, this arc nearly broke me. The scene at the atelier where the two are sharing cigarettes was nearly too much, and then the later one where Rin's gone nearly past the point of no return...I kept having to get up and walk away and tell myself that I needed to get through this...not as a game, but FOR RIN. This game had officially crossed my own border into my reality here.
And then...damn, was the journey ever worth the prize at the end. The scene where Rin and the protagonist make love is just so...YES. For my (free) money, the best such scene in the whole game, as far as it feeling RIGHT. And the final scene on the hilltop was maybe even more perfect. After the darkness was the dawn, and the dawn was beautiful in more ways than I could count. THIS is what it's all about. Being at that point where you know you'll never quite know every single thing there is to know about another person, but at the same time realizing that this means that no matter how much time you'll have together, you'll always be on a journey of discovery. Like Rin, I feel like I need new words to describe this thing.
=== SHIZUNE ===
From the pinnacle to...well, not really the bottom of the trench, but at least several notches along the way down. I really expected to enjoy Shizune's arc a lot. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the game, and, honestly, her appearance pushes a lot of my buttons. After the emotional catharsis that I felt with Rin, I wanted to go completely orthogonal to that story anyway.
This route started off really, really well. I enjoyed the slow development of the relationship a lot, and I felt myself being drawn in. That said, even without knowing, I could tell something was off with Misha, and at times there were...needle scratches. Still, right through the second festival, things were going well. The character interplay was wondrous, and Shizune in her yutaka might be the most beautiful sight in the game. When she appeared, my heart melted. I'll admit it, I just sat there and stared for a few minutes before proceeding.
Then, things started to go awry. I know a lot of people are put off by the bondage sex scene. I was not, and am not. It was just so in-character, and who in their right mind could have resisted? Certainly not I. However, I absolutely HATE Jigoro with the fire of a thousand burning suns. By his second appearance, I could not tolerate his presence on the screen. It was ruining things for me. Liked Hideaki a lot, though, and this was also my introduction to Akira, who I think is a great character as well.
In the end, though, I think my biggest problem was that I felt like I was doing a bit of slogging. The lovemaking scene in the Student Council room, while beautiful in its own way, was a lot less enjoyable than I'd have liked, as was the general run of Misha's side story -- meaning the in-game side story, not her background story, which I thought was well done. And then...THAT ending. Despite Word of God, I really felt like that ending was a goodbye, maybe because, again, it reminded me of something in my own past.
All in all, very much a mixed bag. I loved Shizune herself, but felt like the arc could have been more satisfying.
=== HANAKO ===
This was the arc that filled me with both anticipation and dread. I was expecting another Arc of Darkness, but not the sheer depths (or depth) of Rin's arc. However, this arc turned that upside down. Next to Emi, this arc might have felt the most natural, and (blasphemy) the lightest, of the five. Oh, it's plenty dark, but it's not HARROWING like Rin's, but there's always a sense of optimism to it, which is missing from some others. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.
I know this arc is kind of the favorite of the boards. I totally understand that, because it's very, very well written. The whole process of drawing Hanako out is lovely (although there's a caveat, which I'll get to later), and, as with Rin's arc, a few times I felt myself ready to box Hisao about the ears for being dense. The whole pool playing scene, particularly.
The mid-game, if you will, was surprisingly straightforward. I knew, as soon as Hisao (really having to resist saying "I", even though that's what I want to say) stepped into the antique shop, what the birthday present HAD to be, and I did a little dance when I was right, because damn it, I wanted Hanako to be happy! The subsequent picture of Hanako in her nightgown, holding her presents, with the look of sheer childlike joy on her face...if that doesn't move you, man, then you are made of 100% stone.
Then, there's the sex scene. I know it's intentionally uncomfortable, and thus bravo, but still...uncomfortable. It just didn't feel RIGHT at the time, but it SHOULDN'T. However, that's secondary to the sheer greatness that is the scene in the park where both characters just totally break down. The final scene, where the two finally are facing each other as equals, and Hanako kisses Hisao...that's what I consider the REAL beginning of their relationship. As presented, I think it's the one that has the best chance of actually turning into something permanent, and for me, that makes it the best ending scene in the game.
=== LILLY ===
Okay, I saved Lilly for last because, as I've mentioned elsewhere, I myself am legally blind. I have also been in a relationship with a girl who was totally blind, which lasted about a year. In other words, this was the one where I felt like I was going in with the lowest discovery potential. In fact, Lilly shares a number of qualities with my ex, and perhaps because of that the archetype is generally not a favorite of mine. And, from first-hand experience, the scenes that explore Lilly's blindness are very realistically presented, which was a very...pleasant feeling.
I would say that this character, and this arc, were in many ways what I expected, and thus feared, they would be. The fact that Hisao is so mind-numbingly passive in the arc until the very end was somewhat off-putting. The fact that I'd already gone through Hanako's arc, and it seems like she winds up better here than there (see earlier caveat) was similarly so. In fact, the same can be said of Shizune. It's maddening. And then the ending is such a cliche, which had been avoided so well throughout the rest of the game.
And yet, I still bought it, hook, line and sinker.
First of all, Lilly is a BEAUTIFUL girl. From the first sight of her in her pajamas in Hanako's route, I was a bit awestruck. The confession in the field is so touching, and the two lovemaking scenes at the country house that follow are great as well. But the best part is the blindfolded lovemaking scene. That just felt so real...and then they go and SPOIL IT with the heart issue. Without that bit, that scene might even outpoint Rin's as the best such scene in the game. Can't say for sure, because it never got there, but it had that potential. The build-up to the chase scene felt a little drawn out, as well. I think that's this arc in a nutshell: so many places where they almost got things right, only to fall just that little bit short. However, I did well up at the appearance of the music box at the end, and I did like the little epilogue, although that left me wondering why this arc got one and the others didn't.
Overall, Lilly's arc left me underwhelmed. It wasn't frustrating like Shizune's, but...well, I used the word "pleasant" above, and I think that describes it. It feels a bit like I was watching a classic movie rather than playing a game. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but it just wasn't my cup of tea (pun entirely intended). But oh, what could have been...
=== OVERALL THOUGHTS ===
As I said elsewhere, this is probably the best game of any genre I've ever played. No lie. I've seen some people who compare it to a favorite movie or novel that can be returned to again and again with no loss of emotional attachment, and I'd say that captures my feelings on it pretty well. In fact, my Emi replay has already begun, but this time I'm taking it much more slowly so that I can savor it. I will eventually return to each one. Rin will probably still be the hardest, and I'll have to have my head in a certain place to do it, but damn if I'm not already looking forward to it.
I'm not going to go into rating the individual arcs at this point, although you all can probably get an idea how it would fall anyway from what I've written above. I might do so later, but I might not. Right now, I just don't want to do that. It's still too...real. And maybe in the end that's the most important thing I can say about it.
Thanks for giving me a place to do this, and if any of the devs are reading...well, just thanks for adding to the beauty of the world.
I described Katawa Shoujo on another board as "near-pure win". I meant exactly that. I know these sentiments have probably been said a hundred or a thousand or more times before, but I have done my best not to read any of them so that I can bring you my unsullied..."feels", to use the community's chosen colloquialism. Below, I'm going to go through the Ladies of the Game in the order in which I discovered their arcs, and then...well, I haven't decided exactly what yet. Some of the details may be vague, but I'll be replaying each of these arcs over time, because every. single. one is worth experiencing again.
A few words. I don't consider myself a fan of anime, manga, or eroge as a rule. Or, perhaps, better to say WAS not. I've watched a few shows here and there. However, in the past few weeks, I've begun exploring visual novels and the intertwined bishoujo/ren'ai genres. I really don't know the language of the genres yet beyond general cultural osmosis of hanging out on the Internet. Thus, I qualify all of this by saying that, for the most part, it is ALL new to me. Mock me if you dare .
(Added after finishing the process of writing this: I originally thought I was going to write this over the course of days. I did it in less than two hours. Did I mention I was burning to write about this game? I think I did.)
=== IT BEGINS ===
I mentioned in another thread that when I first loaded the game, I determined to just go in and do what felt right. By that, I meant that I was going to go in backwards - rather than taking what I would do and mapping it onto the protagonist, I was going to do my best to figure out what I thought Hisao HIMSELF would do, based on what little information I had of him.
Of course, at what I felt was my first meaningful choice, I faltered at that strategy. I refer to the game of Risk. I have played Risk with friends and family many times, so I actually tried to picture the board and what I would do. I went with the defensive option, not realizing I was essentially washing myself out of an arc. Ah, well.
So, the next place that a choice seemed to matter, I was back in Hisao's head. I'm at the track, running with Emi, and thinking that this guy is wanting to test his limits. Exactly the opposite of what I'd probably do in the situation, I picked "Go for it", and wound up plunging straight into Emi's arc.
=== EMI ===
I enjoyed this arc SO MUCH. The fact that I pretty much knew which choices to make along the route without even having to think about it was a bonus. It meant I played through a full arc before having to worry about going back, which probably went a long way toward hooking me on the game. That, combined with what led me into the arc, means that I think this is the most NATURAL arc in the game. It all feels so organic to me. Every scene made SENSE. This will also be the first arc I replay, because I feel like I missed so much because of my approach. The ending just made me happy, period, but the details are a bit hazy now. I will say that I absolutely LOVED the scene in the track shed, and the aftermath. SO much fun, even if it was a bit longer than it might have been.
This was just damn good fun to experience, and fulfilling to boot. It will also be the one about which I have the least to say, for now. However, it also gave me good introductions to all the other girls, and a taste of what each of their arcs would be.
=== RIN ===
Having run through the game once, I then picked the girl I knew *I* wanted to get to know next. For me, it could only be Rin. I won't go too much into why, but I think mostly it was because I related to her most.
At first, the arc felt almost stagnant, with all of its long scenes of just...being. I am no longer used to that state of mind, so it was like having to put myself in the mind of my own past to be here. I LIVED this for a while (not going to get too personal yet), and at first it was difficult to put myself there again. It was difficult to the point that I biffed a couple of choices in the beginning and wound up on the roof with Kenji instead. As I went deeper, it became easier, more...for want of a better word, normal. I did find myself repeatedly being jarred by Hisao's inability to grasp where Rin's head was, because damn it, I KNEW. For those of you who know Heinlein, I GROKKED Rin.
When I reached the point where you're talking to the art teacher and, essentially, telling Rin to do the exhibition, I thought I'd biffed something again. I felt the darkness encroaching, and could do nothing to stop it. It was the first time I went to look at a walkthrough, just to see if I'd chosen poorly, but that wasn't it. I had to step away from the game for a while and consider how to approach it, and then a light bulb went on. Knowing what I knew of the character, the darkness WAS inevitable, at some point. It was just a question of getting to the other side in one piece, more or less.
Even so, this arc nearly broke me. The scene at the atelier where the two are sharing cigarettes was nearly too much, and then the later one where Rin's gone nearly past the point of no return...I kept having to get up and walk away and tell myself that I needed to get through this...not as a game, but FOR RIN. This game had officially crossed my own border into my reality here.
And then...damn, was the journey ever worth the prize at the end. The scene where Rin and the protagonist make love is just so...YES. For my (free) money, the best such scene in the whole game, as far as it feeling RIGHT. And the final scene on the hilltop was maybe even more perfect. After the darkness was the dawn, and the dawn was beautiful in more ways than I could count. THIS is what it's all about. Being at that point where you know you'll never quite know every single thing there is to know about another person, but at the same time realizing that this means that no matter how much time you'll have together, you'll always be on a journey of discovery. Like Rin, I feel like I need new words to describe this thing.
=== SHIZUNE ===
From the pinnacle to...well, not really the bottom of the trench, but at least several notches along the way down. I really expected to enjoy Shizune's arc a lot. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the game, and, honestly, her appearance pushes a lot of my buttons. After the emotional catharsis that I felt with Rin, I wanted to go completely orthogonal to that story anyway.
This route started off really, really well. I enjoyed the slow development of the relationship a lot, and I felt myself being drawn in. That said, even without knowing, I could tell something was off with Misha, and at times there were...needle scratches. Still, right through the second festival, things were going well. The character interplay was wondrous, and Shizune in her yutaka might be the most beautiful sight in the game. When she appeared, my heart melted. I'll admit it, I just sat there and stared for a few minutes before proceeding.
Then, things started to go awry. I know a lot of people are put off by the bondage sex scene. I was not, and am not. It was just so in-character, and who in their right mind could have resisted? Certainly not I. However, I absolutely HATE Jigoro with the fire of a thousand burning suns. By his second appearance, I could not tolerate his presence on the screen. It was ruining things for me. Liked Hideaki a lot, though, and this was also my introduction to Akira, who I think is a great character as well.
In the end, though, I think my biggest problem was that I felt like I was doing a bit of slogging. The lovemaking scene in the Student Council room, while beautiful in its own way, was a lot less enjoyable than I'd have liked, as was the general run of Misha's side story -- meaning the in-game side story, not her background story, which I thought was well done. And then...THAT ending. Despite Word of God, I really felt like that ending was a goodbye, maybe because, again, it reminded me of something in my own past.
All in all, very much a mixed bag. I loved Shizune herself, but felt like the arc could have been more satisfying.
=== HANAKO ===
This was the arc that filled me with both anticipation and dread. I was expecting another Arc of Darkness, but not the sheer depths (or depth) of Rin's arc. However, this arc turned that upside down. Next to Emi, this arc might have felt the most natural, and (blasphemy) the lightest, of the five. Oh, it's plenty dark, but it's not HARROWING like Rin's, but there's always a sense of optimism to it, which is missing from some others. THIS IS NOT A BAD THING.
I know this arc is kind of the favorite of the boards. I totally understand that, because it's very, very well written. The whole process of drawing Hanako out is lovely (although there's a caveat, which I'll get to later), and, as with Rin's arc, a few times I felt myself ready to box Hisao about the ears for being dense. The whole pool playing scene, particularly.
The mid-game, if you will, was surprisingly straightforward. I knew, as soon as Hisao (really having to resist saying "I", even though that's what I want to say) stepped into the antique shop, what the birthday present HAD to be, and I did a little dance when I was right, because damn it, I wanted Hanako to be happy! The subsequent picture of Hanako in her nightgown, holding her presents, with the look of sheer childlike joy on her face...if that doesn't move you, man, then you are made of 100% stone.
Then, there's the sex scene. I know it's intentionally uncomfortable, and thus bravo, but still...uncomfortable. It just didn't feel RIGHT at the time, but it SHOULDN'T. However, that's secondary to the sheer greatness that is the scene in the park where both characters just totally break down. The final scene, where the two finally are facing each other as equals, and Hanako kisses Hisao...that's what I consider the REAL beginning of their relationship. As presented, I think it's the one that has the best chance of actually turning into something permanent, and for me, that makes it the best ending scene in the game.
=== LILLY ===
Okay, I saved Lilly for last because, as I've mentioned elsewhere, I myself am legally blind. I have also been in a relationship with a girl who was totally blind, which lasted about a year. In other words, this was the one where I felt like I was going in with the lowest discovery potential. In fact, Lilly shares a number of qualities with my ex, and perhaps because of that the archetype is generally not a favorite of mine. And, from first-hand experience, the scenes that explore Lilly's blindness are very realistically presented, which was a very...pleasant feeling.
I would say that this character, and this arc, were in many ways what I expected, and thus feared, they would be. The fact that Hisao is so mind-numbingly passive in the arc until the very end was somewhat off-putting. The fact that I'd already gone through Hanako's arc, and it seems like she winds up better here than there (see earlier caveat) was similarly so. In fact, the same can be said of Shizune. It's maddening. And then the ending is such a cliche, which had been avoided so well throughout the rest of the game.
And yet, I still bought it, hook, line and sinker.
First of all, Lilly is a BEAUTIFUL girl. From the first sight of her in her pajamas in Hanako's route, I was a bit awestruck. The confession in the field is so touching, and the two lovemaking scenes at the country house that follow are great as well. But the best part is the blindfolded lovemaking scene. That just felt so real...and then they go and SPOIL IT with the heart issue. Without that bit, that scene might even outpoint Rin's as the best such scene in the game. Can't say for sure, because it never got there, but it had that potential. The build-up to the chase scene felt a little drawn out, as well. I think that's this arc in a nutshell: so many places where they almost got things right, only to fall just that little bit short. However, I did well up at the appearance of the music box at the end, and I did like the little epilogue, although that left me wondering why this arc got one and the others didn't.
Overall, Lilly's arc left me underwhelmed. It wasn't frustrating like Shizune's, but...well, I used the word "pleasant" above, and I think that describes it. It feels a bit like I was watching a classic movie rather than playing a game. There's nothing wrong with that, per se, but it just wasn't my cup of tea (pun entirely intended). But oh, what could have been...
=== OVERALL THOUGHTS ===
As I said elsewhere, this is probably the best game of any genre I've ever played. No lie. I've seen some people who compare it to a favorite movie or novel that can be returned to again and again with no loss of emotional attachment, and I'd say that captures my feelings on it pretty well. In fact, my Emi replay has already begun, but this time I'm taking it much more slowly so that I can savor it. I will eventually return to each one. Rin will probably still be the hardest, and I'll have to have my head in a certain place to do it, but damn if I'm not already looking forward to it.
I'm not going to go into rating the individual arcs at this point, although you all can probably get an idea how it would fall anyway from what I've written above. I might do so later, but I might not. Right now, I just don't want to do that. It's still too...real. And maybe in the end that's the most important thing I can say about it.
Thanks for giving me a place to do this, and if any of the devs are reading...well, just thanks for adding to the beauty of the world.