Katawa Shoujo Forums

So, here is a little series I did for Kenji. I shared it with some people and they seemed to like it so hopefully you will too.



It is suggested that you listen to this while reading: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pAXpc61U ... ce=message



He sat in the corner of the library where no one could see him. This area was always unoccupied, no one ever bothered to even look at the books over here which was perfect for Kenji. Ever since his first day of Yamaku when he saw her, he knew exactly what he wanted. She was beautifully shy, very anxious and always apologising. She had bumped into him that first day, books in hand. "Sorry! So sorry! I-" She quickly bowed up and down as Kenji tried his best to repress his laughter, failing as each second passed. "It's okay, Miss...?" "Yuuko. My name is Yuuko." She looked up at him and nervously smiled. "Yuuko. Beautiful name. It's okay, I should have been more careful. Are you all right?" And that is how it started. How Kenji Setou began his spiral down into the black hole that existed in the middle of his heart. He loved her from the moment he saw her but ventured into a dangerous game of which he didn't know he was already the loser.



Even to this day, he would still sit over here and watch her. It had been months since the last time they saw one another. It was the first time they two had ever made love. It was sweet and romantic but it was just another drop of acid onto the bruise that remained on Kenji's heart. Blackened and scabbing. Oozing out nothing but hate. She had sent a letter to his room, asking him to meet her at the Shanghai. He made his usual trek there, thinking they would spend the evening talking, kissing, laughing like they usually did but tonight was different. Tonight, they would show one another just what love looked like, smelled like, felt like. He spotted her at the back door, waiting for him. She smiled the moment she saw him, which always warmed his dark heart just a little. He took her into a tight embrace, enjoying the feel of her body against his. She was warm and smelled of strawberries. Her favourite fragrance, she even used it as shampoo so her hair smelled of strawberry fields, forever. They walked to the near by park in which they alway spent their late night romances at, underneath the large tree toward the edge of the park. That area was secluded and shadowed, perfect for love of the forbidden kind. "Kenji...you love me, don't you?" She was staring at him with those big eyes of hers. Kenji had slipped off her glasses along with his in a moment of heat as the two kissed. Her forehead was resting on his as he lovingly stroked her cheek. "Of course I love you. I will always love you, Yuuko. Why do you ask?" "Will you...will you show me just how much? Please, Kenji?" She pulled back a little, pleading with her eyes. He knew exactly what she meant but could he ever do such a thing. He loved her and had thought about it many times as he awaited sleep to take over him on those nights when he was alone in his room. If she wanted him to show her, he would show her and he would still love her even afterwards. She was his and only his.





He did what he thought was right. He did what his heart, body, mind and spirit were pushing him to do. He loved her and wanted to show her but showing her came at a cost. After that night in the park, she stopped speaking to him. When he would enter the library, she avoided all eye contact. She didn't even send letters anymore. He sent her a few but never got any responses back. He even went out of his way to leave them in the library where only she would find them and still nothing. And so here he was, once again watching her from afar. Earlier in the day, a letter arrived out of the blue at his door. He found it as he was walking in. It was from her. He was elated, finally she answered. He immediately dropped his things into his room and opened the letter. "My dearest Kenji..." Dearest...she still loved him. " I am sorry for ending contact with you so abruptly after the last time we were together. I was afraid and I thought it would be best if we ended our relationship. If we ended...this. We can't see each other anymore, Kenji. I am sorry for all of this. For hurting you. I hope that you can one day forgive me for this. Move on. You deserve someone much better than a librarian. I still love you and always will but it's time we went our seperate ways. Take care of yourself. Always yours, Yuuko Shirakawa."


He couldn't believe what he had read. He didn't even notice that he was crying at that point. End it. She wanted to end it. He rambled on speaking of how she loved him and said she'd never leave. Just as he was beginning to reread the letter for a third time, Hisao walked into the room. Kenji immediately ripped up the letter, not wanting Hisao to know anything of it. And now, here he sat. Watching her again. He felt stupid for ripping up the letter but what else could he do? Hisao tried to take the letter from him and had he found out about the relationship, Kenji would be ruined. He didn't want to have to leave Yamaku. He didn't want to leave her.



He sat there at that table, hours after the incident. Taping the letter back together, slowly but surely. It smelled of her, strawberries. He took his scarf and covered up his nose and mouth just to keep the beautiful odor away. He didn't want to cry anymore and just the smell of strawberries made his eyes water. He sat there, taping back the pieces of his life. She was his life.

Ah, welcome back Eos, I was wondering when you'd come back
First off: I swear I read this before, either on your FB page, or tumblr.
Second: I like the story so far.
Keep up the good work
*thumbs up*

I am in no way a fan of the Kenji/Yuuko pairing, but I recognize quality writing. Well done.

It is suggested that you listen to this while reading:





Kenji knew he had been drinking too much, but he just couldn't stop. He wanted to feel weightless. Numb. He could taste the alcohol in his mouth, feel the biile rise from his stomach. He knew that he was going to spew at any moment now but he just didn't want to feel. Maybe, this was what he needed. Maybe he needed to drink until he violently puked. Maybe that would be like purging, purging his body of his own sins. But it would never purge his mind. It would never purge his memories. And he knew this, but he would always continue to drink anyway.



It had been three years since the last time he spoke to Yuuko. And even after all this time, he still loved her. After the first half of the second year, he stopped going by the library to watch her. It would break his heart to see her, wanting to touch her...knowing that he damn well couldn't. He just wanted to feel her skin against his, he wanted to gently run his fingers through her hair. Smell her strawberry scenet that lingered whenever he was with her. He just wanted his life back. Her. Kenji began to spiral down into madness, hiding behind the mask of a feminist conspiracy in order to hide the pain that he felt inside of his heart. It was blackened. Nobody could scrape off the darkness except for her. Only her.



He would try to find love in other girls around school. Hooking up with one, left and right but nothing could fill that empty space inside of him. You could say that Kenji didn't have a heart at all, but he did. It was just unfortunately, hidden underneath two years of clutter. He saw her again, as he went to steal another book from the library. He would go to check out a book from her, once a week and each time he made his way to the counter he would stop in his tracks at the sight of her. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't go over there. It was as if her presence was the knife that repeatedly stabbed him. Never allowing him a moment to breathe. A moment to mourn. A moment at all. As if he didn't deserve it.



So here he was, walking around town in a drunken stupour. He wanted to not feell anything at all. He picked up drinking shortly after the letter. Whiskey, his poison of choice. Spending his time walking around the city or on the roof top talking to the pigeons as if they could hear him. They were his only friends.



As the bile began to rise up in his throat, Kenji quickly placed his hand over his mouth. As if his hand would force it back down, he tried his best to swallow the liquor but it was just too much. His body couldn't take it. He began to vomit, uncontrollably. It oozed between his fingers, he could smell the strong odor of the whiskey he had been drinking. The odour was making him feel even worse. He eventually gave in and doubled over, as his body violently shook. He puked up every morsel left within his stomach. This had become his way of purging himself. If he couldn't rid his mind of those memories, he would rid his body instead. The beginning of the end.

Advised that you listen while reading:



"That insufferable bitch! How could she...how could she do this to me?"



She was supposed to be different, different than all the rest. Or maybe she was different, she just wasn't willing to show me. Or maybe she just didn't WANT to show me. Fucking Feminists. No...this isn't the feminists fault. This...this is my fault. Maybe, I should have been better to her. I was so fucking stupid.



"God damn it!" I throw the glass against the fence. It bounced off of the fence and fell onto the ground, shattering into a million pieces. Just like my life had shattered when she left me. I loved her and she just...she just left. She left ME. She said she would wait. We were going to be together...she said she'd wait but she lied. She fucking lied. I hate liars.



I took out another bottle of whiskey, and quickly opened it. I chugged it down, embracing the familiar burn that came with it. How it burned so good. I could feel the sting along my throat. I needed this feeling but it was never enough. I was so tired of this. Tired of dealing with it. She was my rock, my everything. We only had eight months together but I wanted more. I never told anyone, not even her what she meant to me. I thought I had shown her that night. I should have been better, I could have been better. I was so fucking stupid. "I...I need her."



I spotted a few pigeons flying around in the sky. "You stupid birds, you can just fly away from your problems but me, I'm stuck here. HERE! In this...in this hell hole! Without her." I could feel my eyes beginning to water as I whispered once more..."Without...her. The one person who understood me. I need her. I need her. I need..."



I felt the tears starting to fall down onto my cheeks. They stung, so badly. I hated the way it felt to cry. I hated how the tears would splash upon my cheek, how my nose would run during it. I hated everything that had to do with crying or even lead up to it. I didn't want to, but I just couldn't help it. I fell down onto my knees in pure defeat as the emotions washed over me. I pressed my knees down into the rocks on the roof, hoping the physical pain would cancel out the emotional. But it did nothing. Nothing at all.



"Stupid, I am so fucking stupid. I want her back. I need her back. But, she'll never have me again. She said it was done. She won't even look at me. She's gone. And I'm stuck here, alone. Alone with these...with these stupid birds! Why can't I fly like you?!" I took the bottle and chucked it at one of the pigeons flying near by, barely missing it. I began to sob, placing my face into my hands. The tears washing over me felt good in a way, as much as I hated to cry. I wanted more of this feeling. To feel okay. But, what else could I do besides drinking to make it come to me? A realisation finally dawned on me. "I...could fly."



I slowly picked myself up off of the ground. The roof was fenced, there was no way I could fly but...there was a small hole on the side of the roof. I never knew what caused that hole but ever since she left and I started coming up here, I figured it'd be my best bet if I ever decide to leave this world, forever. I slowly began to walk towards it, my tears finally drying up. I just wanted to fly away from it all. If I couldn't have her, then I would try to find peace in the next world. If there was a next world. I slowly crawled outside of the hole and sat on the ledge of the roof. I looked out into the night sky, I could see the lights of the town. The last time I'll ever see this place again. I couldn't say I wasn't a little said. Despite all of the bad memories, there were still a few good ones I had experienced here too. It was too late for that now. I took a deep breathe as I absorbed all of my feelings. I'll just fly away, I thought to myself. I slowly began to push myself off of the roof when a hand gently touched my shoulder. I turned around to see who it was...



And to my surprise, it was...my angel. My life. My...



"...Yuuko."

I am pleased that you enjoyed it. ^^ I posted up the next two chapters if you'd like to go read it.

Ahoy there, I quite enjoyed the first chapter of this fic! However (and this has nothing to do with the content) it's probably better than you continue to post each chapter in this one thread, rather than making a new thread for each chapter. It's a lot easier to keep track of that way and you also won't be spamming the forum with new topics. Other than that everything is a-ok, keep up the good work!