Katawa Shoujo Forums

Sea wrote:(Not saying it was undeserved, but I saw her for a second with a scarred eye and a white cat)

Now there's a great image! Hanako = Blofeld

"This is the price of failure, Mr. Nakai."

pandaphil wrote:Sex would be boring,

Sex is never boring! Now as for the story... It's great. I'm digging the way it's progressing, and how you're adding a little wrinkle in their ever-smoothing life. I look forward to the next chapter. I understand you're not much for writing sex scenes, but lets face it, sex is nothing new to the Katawa Shoujo fanbase. Most of us are probably perverts (I'll admit here that i am) and would love to read a good kinky scene, but being as you're the one writing this story, we can only suggest. (Some may threaten, but lets face it, over the internet, it wont do any justice) All in all, i love this.

Sea wrote:Still tortured by the cliffhanger of several months, I none the less feel you're diffidently getting a clearer view of where you want to take the story, whereas before it seems kinda open ended. I love you addressed the lonely Lily sub-plot that has burned in my mind since the start. She was never anti-social in the least, and I've wondered what she does while off-screen. Hanako did seem a little maniacal when she got the piercing store owner to do it for free (Not saying it was undeserved, but I saw her for a second with a scarred eye and a white cat)
I shall eagerly await you next installment, now back to lurk mode!

Sorry about that. This story was originally intended to be a quick filler while I worked out the plot for the final chapter. Unfortunately RL reared its ugly head and it took a lot longer than I'd planned to finish.

I'll try to go into what happens while Hisao's away. Shes not anti-social. She and Lilly shop, plus she goes to the library often, and has we weekly therapy sessions.

Maybe she was a little manic in that scene. She's used to holding back, so her frustrations may have burst out a little harder than she intended. And if you've seen her bad ending you know she has a bit of a temper. But really, all she did was raise her voice and say she was leaving. I've read about pissed off customers doing much worse.
But really, even she wasn't sure she did the right thing.

motokid108 wrote:

The problem with sex scenes, as someone pointed out, is that they require special skills if they're not to sound cliche'd or tacky. I'm not sure if I'm up for it. Also to be honest, I'm still not comfortable with the mental image of Hanako in a sex scene. Maybe I'm just weird, I dunno. In any case, the reference at the beginning of the chapter where Hisao visits the photographer is probably the closest I'll get to a sex scene in this story. If you need a description, go re-read the first sexual encounter in "Sisterhood". It mainly involves using hands, as this Hanako is still uncomfortable with intercourse.

If you feel uncomfortable about having sex scenes in your fic, you shouldn't include them. It's perfectly possible to write a good KS-related story without them. And yeah, they're tricky to write. Sex scenes can be used to as an additional means of showing the dynamics in the relationship. They can be used to show progress, especially with a girl as shy and insecure about her body as Hanako. They're simply an additional aspect of the relationship that you can choose to either show or gloss over. Adding sex scenes purely for the sake of adding them is pointless.

That said, if you're uncomfortable with the mental image of Hanako having sex while being in a committed relationship...in other words, if you're uncomfortable with the notion of Hanako having a sex life...then that may indeed be weird, because sex is part of a healthy relationship and if two teenagers have been in a relationship for longer than a year and yet have no sex life, that's often the sign that something's wrong.

Of course, it's still possible to drop a line or two to confirm the two are actually sleeping with each other without having to write scenes involving them doing the deed.

Oh boy, I guess that came out wrong again. Its tough to talk about this without sounding like a freak, twisting logic into pretzel shapes, or screwing up Hanako's character. Thats why I rarely bring it up.

Of course they have a sex life. Otherwise all the references I've written about them sleeping together would be kinda pointless. But like with my parent, I don't like to dwell on the details.

I guess this is something I should address in the story if I can figure out how to without it sounding awkward or thrown in. Hanako just doesn't feel she's ready for intercourse. Maybe she had a creepy teacher at the orphanage who went on about how sex was bad, or she knew a student who got pregnant, etc. Either way, for now they work around it. I can see her visiting websites and pouring over articles on "How to please your partner with just your hands (or mouth)". For Hisao's part, he's willing to wait for her to be ready.

As with all things, they'll get there eventually. Maybe I should go ahead and just write about their first shower together as a seperate story and get it over with.

motokid108 wrote:
Sex is never boring!

Let me rephrase that. In general, reading about people having sex is boring.

He good read In my phone so can't really quote but

"Hadn't a built pool." So "Hadn't built a pool" Otherwise i enjoyed this This fic is the one where if I just want a fictional cuddle with a fictional character, I can live out that fictional experience. So lovey Dovey it's great

Feurox wrote:He good read In my phone so can't really quote but

"Hadn't a built pool." So "Hadn't built a pool" Otherwise i enjoyed this This fic is the one where if I just want a fictional cuddle with a fictional character, I can live out that fictional experience. So lovey Dovey it's great

Thanks. fixed it. And added another line.

Guest Poster wrote:Of course, it's still possible to drop a line or two to confirm the two are actually sleeping with each other without having to write scenes involving them doing the deed.

That's how I do it in my stuff, due to my own lack of comfort writing sex scenes. (Let's just say that anything I write in that regard would come out about as awkward as Misha's canon scene. Pistoning and all. Or worse.) Fade out of the chapter right before, or fade in right after. It's possible to depict even Emi-level healthy adolescent sex drives, in a relationship where the partners are having good sex, without having to actually depict the sex.

That said, I could also see Hanako being quite uncomfortable with sex, especially after her canon first time - it was an unpleasant means to an end for her, it seemed, something that she didn't want to do, felt she had to do to keep Hisao, and didn't enjoy it at all. (Yes, she smiled at the end, but there was a maelstrom of emotions there, many of them unrelated to the actual sex.) With a little time and practice, that would change, of course, and I don't think it'd be long before she found her own healthy adolescent sex drive.

It's probably because their first time sucked so much that we want Hisao and Hanako to have good sex in the future.

Negativedarke wrote:It's probably because their first time sucked so much that we want Hisao and Hanako to have good sex in the future.

No kidding. I like to think their second time was sweet and cuddly.

Anyway, I'm trying to decide what to do with the next chapter. I know everyones impatient to read the ending, but part of me really wants to do a short scene where Hanako and Lilly talk about their feeling, and whats upsetting Lilly. Decisions, decisions....

Wait, the ending doesn't cover that, despite it being foreshadowed so much?

bhtooefr wrote:Wait, the ending doesn't cover that, despite it being foreshadowed so much?

As editor-in-chief, don't worry. I'll make sure he addresses it.

bhtooefr wrote:Wait, the ending doesn't cover that, despite it being foreshadowed so much?

Of course it covers it. I'm just wondering if it needs to be addressed in a seperate chapter, rather than being included in an ending thats already going to have a lot going on.

pandaphil wrote:

bhtooefr wrote:Wait, the ending doesn't cover that, despite it being foreshadowed so much?

Of course it covers it. I'm just wondering if it needs to be addressed in a seperate chapter, rather than being included in an ending thats already going to have a lot going on.

I would think that it would depend on whether it fit in with the flow of the rest of the chapter. Whatever you decide, I'll look forward to it .

dewelar wrote:

pandaphil wrote:

bhtooefr wrote:Wait, the ending doesn't cover that, despite it being foreshadowed so much?

Of course it covers it. I'm just wondering if it needs to be addressed in a seperate chapter, rather than being included in an ending thats already going to have a lot going on.

I would think that it would depend on whether it fit in with the flow of the rest of the chapter. Whatever you decide, I'll look forward to it .

My thoughts exactly. I really enjoy your writing, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.