Scene 6: Photographs and Fireworks
Knock knock knock.
Huh? What time is... oh, crap. I've slept longer than I should have.
Knock knock knock.
And there's someone at the door. Fantastic. It's probably Kenji, warning me about the dangers of associating with too many girls in my free time. I guess I should probably answer, he's not gonna go away easily.
I open the door, and to my surprise I'm not greeted by my bespectacled hallmate, but instead by Kagami, who has apparently found my room somehow. "Uh, hi," I blurt.
"Hi," she says, turning a deep shade of red. "Um, Hisao, your... um," she stammers as she averts her gaze and giggles. In my haste to answer the door, I'd completely forgotten that I'm completely naked, except for my boxers.
"Oh, jeez, sorry," I exclaim as I shut the door hurriedly. I can still hear her laughing outside, though. Really Kagami, you don't have to laugh quite so much. Or so loudly. I quickly pull on a change of clothes and open the door to greet my still-blushing guest. "Sorry about that, I just woke up. Had a bit of an early morning," I explain hurriedly.
Kagami smiles. "It's fine, Hisao. Why were you up early? It's Sunday," she asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Went for a run. I've been trying to get in better shape recently," I say. I suppose that's adequate enough explanation without delving too much into my condition.
Kagami nods and steps back from the door. "Well, we've already missed a little bit of the festival, but it didn't take me that long to find your room after I found the class president," she states. I'm not sure how I feel about Shizune handing out my information so readily, but that's a thought for another day. "Ready to go?" the girl in front of me asks.
"Oh, just a second," I say, and rush back into my room to retrieve her mp3 player. Her face lights up when she sees what's in my hand.
"You found it! Oh my god thank you, I don't know what I'd do without this. I was entering full-on panic mode last night when I couldn't find it," she explains, grabbing it out of my hand and slipping it into her medium-sized leather purse. I briefly consider asking her about her audio math notes I saw, but honestly I can't see any reason to bring it up other than to make conversation. Maybe if there's a lull later on.
And with that, Kagami and I head outside to explore the carnival.
"I'm assuming you didn't eat yet today?" my companion asks as we approach the food stalls. I haven't, actually, and the smell of the festival is reminding me of that fact rather pointedly. Kagami turns and smiles. "What do you want? I'll buy," she offers.
"You bought lunch the other day, I can pay for this," I reply halfheartedly. I'm not exactly made of money, and I need to watch my extra spending if I'm going to make it through the month.
"Hisao, it's fine, really. I'll let you buy something else later. Consider this my apology for waking you up today. At noon," she adds, winking. I roll my eyes and sigh, faking defeat.
"If you insist, I suppose I can let you buy me food," I reply. Now, to decide what to get. It's been a while since I've had anything fried, since the hospital wasn't too keen on serving fatty foods to sickly patients. I spy a stall selling Takoyaki, and point it out to Kagami. "Takoyaki sound good?"
"Excellent," she says. We make our way to the back of the line, which isn't terribly long, considering the hour. However, the students selling the fried dish seem to be shorthanded, and it takes about ten minutes before we place our order. Kagami and I fill the time idly chatting about the festival before a short boy with glasses, probably a second-year, hands us our food and takes Kagami's payment.
"So you didn't come to the festival last year?" I ask, continuing our conversation between bites.
"Mm," Kagami starts, swallowing. "Last year, the orchestra I was in practice on Sunday mornings and afternoons, so I didn't get back until late afternoon. By that time, all of my friends had either gone into town or wandered off to do other things. I probably just wandered around for a bit before going back to my room. I don't really remember much of it," she says before popping another bite into her mouth.
"Why didn't you hang out with them this year?" I ask. The thought I had yesterday about her always being alone resurfaced in my mind when she mentioned her friends.
Kagami frowns. "Last year was... tough. We ended up growing apart for whatever reasons, and most of them graduated. I'm pretty much the only one out of our circle left at Yamaku." She looks at me, and anticipates my next question. "I know I seem sociable, but I don't really like clubs that much. I tend not to fit in very well in social situations. Besides, there's no music club here at Yamaku," she says, staring at the ground.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories," I reply. She replies with a chuckle.
"Hisao, it's fine. It was a perfectly legitimate question. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me." Her gaze lifts from the ground. She grins, and then gestures for me to follower her. "Come on, I've got something I want to show you." I follow her away from the crowd, curious as to what it is she wants me to see.
"Where are we going, exactly?" I inquire.
"You'll see. Away from the crowd," she says. I follow her for a few minutes until we're alone, close to a line of trees. Kagami ducks behind a tree, and I follow. Kagami begins to dig through her purse. "You," she says, "need to loosen up. This may help." She produces a large silver bottle from inside her bag. A flask?
"Kagami, where did you get that?" I ask, slightly surprised. I didn't expect her to have alcohol at a school event, nor for her to reveal it to a complete stranger.
"Bought it," she states nonchalantly. "Come on, have some, it'll make the festival more fun," she prods. I'm not sure about this. If we were caught... well, I'm pretty sure expulsion would be the least of my worries. My old school had a pretty strict policy about alcohol. Kagami lowers her eyebrows, realizing I'm having some trepidations. "Fine, I'll take the first sip," she says before lifting the flask to her lips and swallowing a few gulps. She extends the flask to me as she exhales sharply. "Whew! That's good. Come on, Hisao, your turn."
For whatever reason, I find myself taking the flask in hand and lifting it to my lips. I guess I've always been a sucker for peer pressure. Besides, something inside me is genuinely curious about whatever liquid is in this flask. I take a few gulps. Wow, that tastes terrible. And it burns. I can feel the warmth spreading down my throat and into my stomach. People subject themselves to this stuff willingly? Ugh. I shake my head violently as I inhale sharply, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Inhaling is apparently not what you're supposed to do after drinking, however, because it sends a fresh wave of the alcohol fumes into my lungs, causing a coughing fit. I hand the flask back to Kagami, doubling over coughing and trying to catch my breath.
Kagami laughs. "First time having whiskey?" I nod between coughs. "It gets better, I promise. First sip is always bad," she says knowingly as she takes another swig from the flask. How often does she do this? I can't imagine wanting to very often. That being said, my breathing has returned to normal, and the warm feeling in my throat isn't all that bad. I'm almost recovered by the time Kagami hands me the flask again. "You good? I just wanted you to try it, you don't have to keep going," she says, a look of concern in her eyes.
"I'm good," I reply. I'll be damned if a girl outpaces me. I might not have much pride, but I do want to hold onto whatever I have left. I take another drink from the flask. It goes down easier this time, probably because I'm expecting the bitterness. Kagami smiles.
"See? It's not so bad once you get used to it."
We pass the flask back and forth a few more times before Kagami places it back in her purse. "That's probably good for now," she says. "Gotta save some for later," she adds, winking. More later? Oh, boy. Today is certainly going to be eventful.
As we walk back to the festival, I can already feel the alcohol hitting my bloodstream. I feel lightheaded and slightly off-kilter, but it's not a wholly unwelcome feeling. In fact, it's kind of fun.
Kagami and I spend the rest of the day walking around the carnival, chit-chatting aimlessly, eating, and playing games. At first, I was nervous about mixing alcohol with a school function, but it's actually made the day quite fun, especially after the second and third trips back to that line of trees. I feel more comfortable around Kagami now than I ever have, and I'm having a great day laughing and spending time with her. Especially now, as she's on her third consecutive try to knock over a small stack of milk cans with a baseball, having completely missed the first two times.
"Dammit! This sucks," Kagami pouts as she misses again, before breaking into a smile. "Hisao, your turn~" she says wryly, as she hands me a few coins. Rats, I knew laughing at her expense would come back to bite me. I hand the coins to the girl operating the booth and she places three baseballs in front of me. Well, here goes nothing.
"Strike one!" Kagami shouts as I miss widely on my first shot. I shoot a disapproving glare back at her.
"I'm warming up, no need to get too excited just yet," I say, turning back to the booth. I grab the second ball from in front of me.
"Strike two!" I hear from behind me. Damn, that one was close. Why do they put the cans so far away? Ok, Hisao, focus. You can do this. I grab the third ball from in front of me and hurl it at the pile of cans. A split second later, I'm greeted with a loud crash, signifying my success. All six cans are now on the floor. Kagami runs up next to me. "Nice one!" she says, the excitement of winning a prize overtaking her feigned resentment of me winning the game she lost.
"Congratulations," the girl in the booth says as she hands me a small blue stuffed bear. I take it, turn around, and present it to Kagami.
She places a hand to her chest and tilts her head. "For me?" she squeaks. I bow and extend the toy to her, continuing the charade. We pause for a moment, and then break into fits of laughter. The alcohol has definitely inhibited my ability to keep a straight face. It hasn't inhibited my ability to continue to develop feelings for Kagami, however, which have been steadily mounting all afternoon. I really, really like this girl. She's fun, carefree and funny. Not to mention she's beautiful. And- ah, damn it, I'm blushing again. Thankfully, Kagami doesn't notice, instead turning back towards the food stalls and stating, "I'm thirsty. Coffee?"
"Sounds good to me, but only if you let me pay this time," I answer.
"Ha, ha, ha. Ok, I suppose you can buy me coffee."
We make our way to one of the stalls selling beverages and I purchase two cans, handing one to Kagami. She thanks me and cracks it open, drinking what seems like half the can in a few seconds. She must have really been thirsty.
"Hey Hisao?" she asks. "Take a picture with me? I want to remember today."
Honestly, I don't know how I could ever forget today, considering how great it's been. However, a photo would commemorate the occasion nicely. "Sure thing," I reply.
She produces a small black digital camera from her purse, and motions for me to come near. As I approach, she throws her arm around my shoulder and presses her cheek to mine. I blush involuntarily. Dammit, now she's going to get photographic evidence. I'll never live this down. She turns the lens of the camera toward us and holds it at arm's length straight ahead, so to capture some of the festival behind us as well.
"Smile!" she exclaims before counting down and snapping the picture. The flash blinds me for a second, but I don't blink. Kagami releases my shoulder and turns the camera around, inspecting the photograph. She grins. "Perfect. Thanks, Hisao," she says, stowing the camera in her purse. As she fiddles with her bag, I recover from the flash and notice how dark it's gotten. In fact, I can barely make out a star in the center of the sky. Kagami notices me staring upwards. "It'll be full dark soon, and then there'll be fireworks, if I read the schedule right," she says. "Wanna go somewhere where there aren't as many people to watch the fireworks?"
I nod. "Sounds good to me."
"Great. I know the perfect place. Follow me!"
Minutes later, we arrive at a small grassy hill just on the other side of the track, which is deserted. In all honestly, though, I'm mildly surprised Emi isn't out here trying to get a few laps in between the festival's end and the fireworks. Kagami lies down in the grass and props herself up by her elbows, motioning for me to join her. She then opens her purse and pulls out the metallic container we drank from earlier, dumping a good bit of the contents into her half-finished can of coffee.
"Here," she states, and offers the flask to me. "This whiskey mixes really well with coffee. Try it!" I oblige, and pour some of the alcohol into my can. I swirl it around before tasting it.
"Mm. That's actually really good," I say, and I'm not lying. The coffee and whiskey mix very well together, neutralizing most of the burn that was present with just the straight whiskey. The buzzing in my head from earlier seems to have abated, replaced by a loose, relaxing sensation. I probably should feel cold right now, but the breeze crossing this hill feels great through my hair. I turn to my friend and hand her the flask, which is pretty much empty.
"Kagami," I say softly, "I had a really good time today." I hesitate, but the alcohol seems to help me to find more words quickly. "To be honest, I dreaded coming to Yamaku after my parents told me I'd be transferring here. I thought I wouldn't fit in, or that I'd..." I stop. I'm not really sure what to say next. Before I came here, Yamaku was just a school for disabled kids. Now... well, I don't really know how I see it. But it's definitely something more than what I thought it would be.
"I know how you feel," Kagami says. "When I came to Yamaku, I was mortified that I would feel out of place. It's tough coming to grips with the fact that you're... different. Different from other kids your age. I guess I haven't adjusted to my condition as well as some of the other kids here; I still feel that way from time to time. Like during my lessons in the city or at orchestra rehearsal. People there know what the Yamaku uniforms mean."
"I suppose that's why you don't wear yours that often," I guess. I haven't really seen many of the other students in casual clothes around campus.
"Yeah, I guess. I mean, it's not like I'm missing my legs or arms or anything." I wince, thinking of what Emi would say if she were here to hear that. "It's still hard to feel normal, though," she says before taking a drink from her can of coffee.
"I don't think so," I say, surprised at what's coming out of my mouth. Damn alcohol. "Kagami, when I'm with you, I feel more normal than I've felt in a long time. It's hard to remember a time when I wasn't being treated like I was fragile, when I wasn't a... liability... to my family or my friends. I guess what I want to say is thank you. I've had a wonderful time with you today just being me and not being a boy with a stupid heart condition."
I grimace. Did I really just say that? Crap, crap crap crap. We weren't supposed to talk about our disabilities, and now I've gone and blown it. Kagami looks at me cautiously, fully aware of what I just said.
"Heart condition, huh?" She sighs. "Well, I suppose it had to come out sooner or later." I briefly ponder being completely forthright before she asks, "So is that what that scar on your chest is from?"
I think back to earlier when I greeted her at my door without my shirt and pants. No hiding it now, might as well come fully clean. "So you saw that, huh? It's from a series of surgeries I had a few months ago. I... recently discovered I have an arrhythmia. My heart beats irregularly, essentially, which means it's more prone to just... stopping. I had a heart attack this winter, and now I'm here at Yamaku." I decide to leave the part about what triggered my heart attack out. Iwanako doesn't need to come into this just yet.
"Uh-huh," Kagami says, processing the new information. She takes another long sip from her can as I do the same. She looks over her shoulder at me, turning onto her side to face me. Her long braid shines in the pale evening moonlight; she's exceptionally beautiful right now. Her glassy grey eyes look straight into mine. She takes a deep breath.
"Ok, my turn," she starts. I wave my hand in the air.
"Kagami, stop. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. Knowing or not doesn't change how I see you," I say.
"Well then there's no reason not to tell you. Besides, you told me, and fair's fair. Promise it won't change how you see me?" she asks, a slight tone of pleading in her voice. This is the most serious I've seen her; she must not talk about her disability with a lot of people.
She exhales deeply, and shuts her eyes.
"The medical term for it is anterograde amnesia."
I cock my head to the side. Amnesia? Does she not remember who she is?
"In layman's terms," she continues, "I have a pretty severe case of short-term memory loss. I usually can't remember anything that happened earlier than today, not without lots of repetition or if it's particularly striking or if it's just random and I have no reason at all to remember it. I keep a pretty detailed journal that allows me to not look like a complete moron most of the time, but it's usually only enough for casual situations." She pauses, breathing heavily.
Short-term memory loss. Suddenly everything clicks. The day when we met in the Nurse's office- she didn't recognize my voice, she recognized my name. That was what tipped her off. And the day when we met by the tree and she seemed to not remember who I was... well, she didn't. She came to my room today specifically so she wouldn't have to find my face in a crowd. And that picture just a few minutes ago... I guess I didn't fully understand the gravity of the situation when she said she wanted to remember today.
Kagami inhales, ready to begin again. "I got pretty lucky actually. When I had my accident, well, after I woke up from my coma, I was told I had a large hemorrhage in my left hippocampus, the part of the brain that deals with episodic memory. Faces, names, events, that sort of thing." She says this like it's a script she's rehearsed dozens of times. "My right hippocampus, which deals with semantic memory - facts, music, math, abstract stuff - was undamaged. The brain's connected, obviously, so I still have a tough time remembering things I learn in class, but if I listen to myself read my notes, I remember most all of it after one or two times through." That explains the math notes on her mp3 player as well.
"Y-your music?" I stammer. It seems like such an insipid question, but Kagami appears relieved I asked about that rather than something else.
"I remember everything from before my... accident, so that never really went away. Most of the skill is muscle memory anyhow, doesn't really have much to do with the conscious brain. I do remember music the best, though. It's the one thing that's never really left me," she says, staring down at the ground.
A long silence eats away at us. I'm not entirely sure what to say. Short-term memory loss? In comparison, my heart condition seems like a bad joke. I try to find the right words to say, but none seem to come.
Kagami stands. Her sudden movement startles me, and before I know it, I'm standing as well. She looks in my eyes, hands crossed behind her back.
"Look, Hisao, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was just scared you'd think of me like everyone else, like I wouldn't ever be able to remember you or see you for who you are, and that you'd just write me off, and I haven't had a chance at a fresh start in so long," she says, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. "I understand if you don't want to hang out any more, if you're worried about me not being able to remember today, or yesterday, or even this conversation, I understand. I'm just..."
She trails off, but she doesn't need to finish her sentence. I know exactly what I have to do. I step forward, wrapping my arms around Kagami and pulling her close in a tight embrace. She stiffens for a moment, surprised at my advance, but then relaxes and puts her arms around my back, squeezing tightly. We hold our shared embrace for what seems like an hour and a second all at once. Kagami pulls her face away from my shoulder and looks deep into my eyes, a deep longing bubbling to their surface. Her eyes make Emi's puppy dog expression look painted on, almost.
She then pulls away slightly, before closing her eyes and standing on her toes, bringing her lips to meet mine.
Now it's my turn to be surprised, but just for a second. I quickly relax, mostly due to the alcohol. However, it'd be idiotic to think I'm doing anything other than falling for this girl whose lips are now firmly pressed against mine.
As we kiss, a bright flash of light streaks across the sky to our side, followed by a loud pop. The fireworks are starting, but we're both too enthralled with the other to tear away and look at them. Flashes of red, green, and blue dance across my eyelids, accentuated by the irregular pops and bangs that usually accompany fireworks. I'm not paying attention- the kiss I'm sharing with Kagami is a hundred times more magical.
Somehow, we manage to tear away from the kiss. Kagami removes her glasses and hangs them on her shirt, looking deep into my eyes. "Hisao?" she asks.
"Mm?" I reply.
"Thank you," she says, before standing on her toes to kiss me once again. And I can honestly say that in this moment, disabilities be damned, we have each other, and we have this moment. And it's something neither of us has had in a long time.
And for now, it's enough.
End Act 1.
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