Only Endless searchings.. for Eternity in Eons
For Something that Matters; for Nothing Much at all; for Everything under the sun;
Sweetheart.., Sweetheart..
Wouldn't you come and Sweep me.. Off my feet
Catch me when I fall?
[Wanting (曲婉婷) - Hand Hold]
Whisper.., whisper..
Whisper these Words in My ears tonight.. and I could fly
Away.. With.. You..
Silence smiles to me ..in white beauty
My heart is calm.. in tune to the birds' song
In the hospital room. Where Hisao waits for his doom
His eyes don't open to me ..but I know he can still see
That my smile is composed and warm.. even as tears will fall before long
Becoming lost diamonds in this white empty room. Where fate unseen patiently looms
A sweet robin sits in the tree ..looking at her last unhatched egg wistfully
Helpless to keep it from harm.. yet not understanding the life's already gone
Out there of this white room. Where Hisao will be taken soon
Redundancy Catches me up
I have nowhere to go
While he feeds me; I Hate myself
Tears coming down; I Choke
[Wanting (曲婉婷) - Shell]
The hour fills with Wish and Hope
But The Hour is Gone..
I Threw Myself.
Then I.... became a Shell.
Darkness releases me.. so that I may live momentarily
Languishing endlessly my days ..beneath the sun's cruel rays
On the floor of my dorm room. Where I measure the shadows' bloom
My life feels distant to me.. ..but I know it's only because of me
That I can't remember the kind things Hisao says.. ..forgetting life's meaning in his death's haze
Becoming nothingness in my room. Where I once felt safe instead of gloom
The sweet robin dies in its tree ..looking for something in eternity
Having lost itself in sadness's embrace.. finding nothing but madness's grace
I try to stand from the sorrow in my room. Where tears threaten to pull me down soon.
So Don't tell me There is Nobody you want to Hold
You know you Messed Up, But Nobody Can live alone
[Wanting (曲婉婷) - Everything In The World]
So Don't Tell me There is Nothing left in this World
Just Open your Eyes, You've got Everything in the World
Light bathes softly on me.. lifting my fallen soul up beautifully
Giving hope needed to finish my self-portrait ..something to help let go of self-hatred
In my new studio room. Where the view is of the world as a boon
Life matters to me.. but I know that only through a dark history
That breaks who I am into torn shreds ..forcing me to learn to never fret
Becoming who I am in this room. Where new paintings grow with each new moon
A young sweet robin lands next to me.. looking at me quizzically
Triggering a memory to return from all that was sad ..a vision of Hisao feeding me oranges in bed
So long ago in that hospital room. Where we had to say goodbye too soon.
Love & Validation
I open my eyes...
and I have you in my... world