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Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7)

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 6:54 pm
by YourFavAnon
So, I've been mulling this idea for quite a while: a medieval look on a spiritual journey for our OH so lovely protagonist: Mister Hisao Nakai. The approach to the story is different from anything I've ever written, so please go at least slightly easy on dialogue and some of the various situations you'll read through.

With that short blurb, I present: Seeking Knowledge.

Table of Contents
Chapter One: The Ditzy Thief (this post)


-------------------------------------

The Ditzy Thief


My tattered boots constantly sink into the dirt below me, each step coming with a loud crunch. My hands secure the straps of my bag, the only way of survival as my journey has continued to stride through the early stages. I whistle some classic tunes of my home town, reminding me of the days where answers were not sought out; rather, they were simply something that was given to me.

Seeking an answer is the finishing point of my pilgrimage. It's not so much religious as it is spiritual; an answer needed to further my knowledge I beg to know about life.

I'm seeking out the legendary Oracle. A woman with constant clairvoyance, and the answers to the various mysteries that I must resolve. My past, my present, my future...

I have so many questions.

Yet, at the same time, I have none at all.

Hopefully this short time of travel will lead me to some form of enlightenment. The weather is fair and seems it will be that way for some time.

Raising my hand to my forehead, blocking my eyes from direct contact with the sun, I stop in my tracks and face up, exhaling a deep sigh.

Today should go quite smooth. I'm not traveling too far away from a couple of close by villages at the risk of unforeseen circumstances, but I'm certainly not expecting anything too far out of the ordinary for the first day of travel.

I left my mother and father about noon of yesterday. Speaking in a monotonous tone, very attributable to my father's figure, he simply gave me his blessing and told me to be on my way. My mother left me with an embrace and a fully organized bag for my trip, as well as a couple of coins for any of my monetary needs.

Now, here I am, on a road that many people of my social stature wouldn't bother taking. I'm not of any form of hierarchy, and even a small journey like such would be quite insane for any man to take with the deeds left to be done at home.

In my case, it's far different, however.

I breathe out in a careless manner, heading back on my way down the road.

The Oracle lives out in the grassy hills, her exact location not quite clear. Given my research being about as accurate as possible, the description I pulled together was a little bit abstract.

'A house among the grass plated hills, built up from stone and worn from years; you will find it at a peak of sorts, sun rising straight above.'

Once I get to the general area, I'm praying I'll be able to find it. Though, it won't really matter how long it takes; after all, the Oracle does not gain in years. She simply just stays the same.

I painfully grin at my seething hot loneliness, the idea of making a lengthy trip with no companions is quite distracting and unsatisfactory. Maybe I can make a rest day of sorts once I approach the village of Pestra along the way, paying a visit to my lady friend I had become acquainted with in my childhood years.

Quite a tragic story behind that one. Left to run the family tavern, the only one in the town, at the young age of sixteen years, all because of an inexplicable burst of flame that set her home ablaze.

Along with it, her guardians went.

We've kept in contact through couriers, but I haven't met her in years. Hopefully she'll still remember me by name.

Suddenly, my train of thought is shattered as I find myself tumbling to the ground, tossing obscenities left and right as my bag detaches from me. I roll for a moment and finally come to a halt, struggling to understand what had just occurred.

I rub the back of my hand against my eyes to clean the debris and dizziness out of them, stumbling back up to my feet and regaining my bearings.

My eyes widen as I see a woman, quite peculiar looking to say the least with her astoundingly long brown hair and slightly large body set, crouched over my belongings. Items fly left and right onto the dirt, leaving me in a fit of anger and frustration. After a moment of stunned realization, I walk towards her, but obviously a moment too late.

She flinches at her sight of me, launching herself back a few stones length away from me and lifts my coin purse over her head, a look of triumph written all over her face.

“Pardon me, sir, but you appear to have dropped your purse!” She grins at me, shaking it and listening as the sound of currency smashing together rings out.

I shake my head, looking down at the path below me.

“Daughter of the Lord, speak meaning into this if you will. I am quite busy and do not have any time to waste, and this is surely just an inconvenience.” I step towards her, and yet again, she backs away. I attempt to trap her up towards a tree, but alas, to no avail.

Upon the thud of her back slamming against the tree, of quite accidental force, she spins and climbs, standing on a thick branch and leaving me quite irritated.

“I pray thee, may I speak some sense into you? You seem to have my coin purse, a quite essential part to my spiritual trip. Without it, I'm just left with my title of Hisao Nakai, a currently wandering amateur merchant who must scourge every piece of copper he may get!”

One again, she giggles at me, sitting down on the branch and swinging her legs in the form of a taunt.

“My good sir, there is no need to fret. You surely have heard my name if you reside in these parts frequently: the heartbreaking form of Shiina Mikado, the thief of misfortune!”

I rest easy for a moment, coming to my senses and personal opinions of the matter at hand. Thieves who brag generally are not well known or good at their craft, so a tad bit of trickery may be easy enough to get my goods returned.

“Shiina, was it? Ah yes, I have heard of you on quite frequent terms of conversation! But, you inspire the word of 'misfortune' in yourself, do you not? By God as my witness, the only words I've heard you be spoken as have been 'Shiina Mikado, the ditzy thief'!”

Of course, this is all a cluster of lies. I've never once heard her name spoken before.

She nearly falls off of her branch in shock, the expected reaction from my own grounds. Setting this plan in motion should be simple enough, and once I manage to reclaim my purse, I simply will find my way to the nearest town in hopes of good hospitality for the night.

“Surely you have been misled, my lord! This is improper, unheard of! Nobody has ever spoken of me in such low light, my reputation is quite unparalleled...” Her voices trails off, leaving me to believe that I have touched a nerve in the quite cheerful spirit of the young woman.

Now for the second leg.

“If you insist of your quite prestigious title being correct, then why do you not show me your ways? A man of my own stature has certainly lived and seen my fair share of theft, and yet only one of them has seen to be of proper practices.”

She twists her lips into a smile, her eyes going wide in delight of the task I've put before her.

“Do you take me for a fool, my sir? I am not quite on the level of intelligence of a mule!” I nearly laugh and break my currently serious tone, mainly due to her choice of comparison being a mule.

“Ah, but then let me ask you, my lady. Do you take me for a fool? I have plenty more money than that in my purse, but you seem to have left that majority resting over on the side of the pass. In fact, I'll leave you and your idiocy up in that tree! I'm far too busy with my mission to meet the Oracle to stay here until night falls.”

With that, I turn on my heels and head back to the roadside, repacking my disheveled mess of clothing and other luggage. In comical fashion, Shiina comes rushing up to my side, her clothes looking quite soiled from and obvious tumble down from the tree she was previously in.

Looking disappointed and saddened, she holds out my purse, leaving it open for the taking.

I raise my eyebrow at her.

“I pray thee, why are you standing with your hand held in such a way? It is all yours, as you have properly defeated me in a battle of wit. I give you terms of my surrender, now please, be on your way.”

She shakes her head.

“Sir, I must give you my most sincere apologies.” She sniffs a bit, leaving me quite cautious at the possibility of another trick. “I am not a thief. In fact, this was my first trial to join the local group. I have, rather fortunately in the end, failed my task. I cannot simply take something that is not mine, even if I truly have nothing of my own.”

Based on her ragged outfit, I had formed the opinion of her being of poor social standing. It's quite grave that it could be worse than such.

“Are you saying you have no home? Are you a vagabond, a nomad traveler, something of the sort?” She nods her head at me, a tear dropping from her eyes.

“A vagabond seems the proper title, sir. I have nothing left to truly live for, as if I've managed to lose myself in the vast labyrinth of life. But, may I ask something of you?”

I give her a light smile.

“Should cause no harm to do such a thing. What do you require knowledge of?”

“You... said you were headed to speak with the Oracle, yes?”

I nod, her eyes flaring up with enthusiasm and emotion.

“Please, I beg of you! Allow me to accompany you on your journey!” I raise an eyebrow at her, justifiably confused by her proposition.

“My lady, you must know of what you speak. You just attempted to rob me of my only money for this trip! How can I even begin to assume that you will not try something absurd and irresponsible once again?”

She bows her head, shuffling her feet around in the dirt.

“I can quite understand your frustrations with me. In fact, I am in grave pain with my emotions for the deed I have attempted to commit. Even less, I cannot give you a single reason to take me along with you. The only thing I can ask is this: are you a religious man, Sir Hisao?”

“Any man who does not follow God's will is not a man at all.”

“Then may you possibly find the tender minded idea of forgiveness in your heart, at the will of your own savior?”

I run a couple of questions through my head, running my eyes up and down along her distinctive womanly features.

“I have a question of thought, simply for your own answer. Before I can allow you to travel with me, you must give me an answer within reason.” Her eyes plead with me, giving me the look of a wounded animal wandering the town walkways.

“I plead with you, any inquiry requiring an answer so that I may become your companion for this journey!” She bows her head once again, seemingly becoming more uptight and formal with me holding the empowered position.

“Sister of the Lord, our savior above, let me feed you this question: At the end of our journey, the Oracle we seek finally within our own space, what answers do you plan to seek?”

She does not take any period of time to answer, a general formulation churning through her skull.

“I must know of my future! I require knowledge of whether I will be stuck in my social level for the entirety of my life... or whether I will finally be able to set my soul free into the lands around here, with the gifts of coins and goods for the peasants!”

“Is this truly what you seek?”

She, quite vigorously, nods her head up and down, leaving me with one final statement.

“Shiina Mikado, I pray that you may join me on my journey for spiritual enlightenment.” With nearly a jump of joy, she does a small curtsey with her with her bagged and ragged shirt, leaving me nearly laughing at the comical sight.

I sling my bag back around my shoulders, motioning her along with me as I head off down the path.

“Let us retire in the village close by for the evening. Being a kind gentlemen, I will happily pay for your inn expenses.”

Shiina reaches down and grabs my hand, nearly forming into a sprint as she hauls me behind her.

“A warm bed for the first time in years! Thank you, sir, thank you kindly for your grace!” With scattered, dim lights approaching with haste, I offer her a sincere smile.

“Just be ready to resume walking at the crack of dawn. And, please, my lady, refer to me as Hisao.”

-----

Author notes: I'm only writing the religious aspect to sort of flow with the time period. The writing is a mix of older styled speaking with some modern takes, mainly so it doesn't take me ages to write and makes it much easier to read.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 8:37 pm
by Hoitash
This seems delightfully familar...

Are you perchance a reincarnated Chaucer?

Regardless if you are or not, color me intrigued :)

The language thing didn't really bother me, but as a historian (albeit nineteenth century US, not Middle Ages) I'm probably not a good benchmark.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:07 pm
by YourFavAnon
Hoitash wrote:This seems delightfully familar...

Are you perchance a reincarnated Chaucer?

Regardless if you are or not, color me intrigued :)

The language thing didn't really bother me, but as a historian (albeit nineteenth century US, not Middle Ages) I'm probably not a good benchmark.
I wish I was Chaucer reincarnated. The Canterbury Tales are some of the most glorious forms of classic literature I've read in my life, and honestly, it's a bit of where the original idea formulated from when I was reading it in class again this year.

The language is fun to write, I just don't know if it sounds right to some people. It sounded good to me when I reread it, but I'm just skeptical to make sure I don't make it sound idiotic. There's a long and lengthy idea behind this series, but it should only run about five to six more chapters, maybe a small epilogue.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Wed Nov 07, 2012 9:57 pm
by MyCaptain
Now this is appealing. I really liked this piece and I really want to see how this story will turn out.
I like the take on the language and even the "religious" aspect of it, though I do think you overdid that a little. The transition between Hisao calling out "Daughter of the Lord" and "Sister of the Lord, our savior above" seems incredibly strange to me; speaking as an amateur-linguist. Though that could just be that I have very limited personal experience with the religious "sphere", and have a hard time transitioning into such a mindset.
Otherwise I do really enjoy the tone of the prose. "If you are going to go far out, then you better go as far as you can", and you did exactly that!
Way too tired to check spelling/grammar/more personal nitpickings, so I'll just leave it at this:
YourFavAnon wrote: “Let us retire in the village close by for the evening. Being a kind gentlemen, I will happily pay for your inn expenses.”
A gentleman would not point out that he is a gentleman in such a situation, a gentleman is humble. Add to that the age of chivalry (which it seems you are going for) then it really doesn't seem right.



Well done! I can't stress that enough. Hell, this is my first post on these forums even!

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 12:01 am
by Kyvos
MyCaptain wrote:A gentleman would not point out that he is a gentleman...
Pfft. This coming from a guy with Rin as his profile picture. :lol:

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 7:45 am
by YourFavAnon
I really appreciate the kind words.
MyCaptain wrote:Well done! I can't stress that enough. Hell, this is my first post on these forums even!
As for that line, it was actually meant to be a bit of tongue in cheek. He kind of was meant to sort of come off like he was still a bit upset that she stole his money, and now he has to pay for her expenses and all.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 9:05 am
by MyCaptain
YourFavAnon wrote:As for that line, it was actually meant to be a bit of tongue in cheek. He kind of was meant to sort of come off like he was still a bit upset that she stole his money, and now he has to pay for her expenses and all.
Ah! That makes more sense then.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Thu Nov 08, 2012 4:26 pm
by Mirage_GSM
First, a few minor typos:
The weather is fair and seems it will be that way for sometime.
...for some time.
...giving me the look of a wounded animal wondering the town walkways.
wandering
As for the story... It's something different, I'll give you that. I'm not sure at this point if this is supposed to be the middle ages or some kind of fantasy scenario...
Regarding the language however, I think you overdid it a little. Yes, poems from that time period use language that is similar, but your characters here seem to be lower middle class (Hisao) and extremely poor (Misha). I doubt either of them woud talk in such a stilted (or "refined", if you're generous) way.
Oh, and...
"I require knowledge of whether I will be stuck in my social level for the entirety of my life... or whether I will finally be able to set my soul free into the lands around here, with the gifts of coins and goods for the peasants!"
...
“Shiina Mikado, I pray that you may join me on my journey for spiritual enlightenment.”
I assume, Hisao has his tongue very firmly planted in his cheek for this one as well...

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:53 pm
by griffon8
Well I'm not too tired to point out some errors.
I'm far to busy with my mission to meet the Oracle to stay here until night falls.”

With that, I turn on my heels and head back to the roadside, repacking my disheveled mess of clothing and other luggage. In comical fashion, Shiina comes rushing up to my side, her clothes looking quite soiled from and obvious tumble down from the tree she was previously in.
too; an

Interesting. The language makes me think of it as rather like a Shakespearean play. Nobody actually ever talked like that, but it's an interesting story element.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Fri Nov 09, 2012 10:54 pm
by YourFavAnon
griffon8 wrote: Interesting. The language makes me think of it as rather like a Shakespearean play. Nobody actually ever talked like that, but it's an interesting story element.
There's a reason the story is written the way it is. As I've said to some others previously, every single thing that is and is not written into the story has a purpose, and it will all be explained at the very end.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 7:28 pm
by Mader Levap
Different indeed. But interesting to read and this is what counts.

Who bets Oracle is Rin? Every oracle in every fantasy story that I know is as clear, unambigious and helpful as Rin on bad day.

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 8:25 pm
by Hoitash
Mader Levap wrote:Different indeed. But interesting to read and this is what counts.

Who bets Oracle is Rin? Every oracle in every fantasy story that I know is as clear, unambigious and helpful as Rin on bad day.
But, in the end, they are right. Bioware and Firefly have taught us well in this regard :).

Re: Seeking Knowledge - A Medieval Journey (Chapter One 11/7

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 5:26 am
by Mirage_GSM
For some reason I pictured Lilly as the oracle, but Rin is definitely a possibility as well.