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Hisao and Akira(?!)- Terror in the Night! Conclusion Update!

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:05 am
by Hoitash
Table of Contents:

Settling In (this post)
Strange Occurrences
Revelation
Ants Against Men
Resolution
Conclusion


“Your body is about to go through many changes. You will develop the appetite of the wolf, a taste for things you’ve never eaten before. Then the pentagram -the five pointed star- will appear in your hand…” –Madam Ozbenskaya, “Boy Meets World” Episode 2X6.


Hisao and Akira(?!)- Terror in the Night!

Part One: Settling In


I still can’t believe I’m putting all this down. I can’t believe it all happened, either. But a bet’s a bet, and so I leave this tale for posterity, and desperate comic book writers.

One summer, my husband, Daichi, and I were visiting Lilly’s summer home up north in Hokkaido. I had already sold the original summer home we had up there, but the area had a few Western-style places that were pretty cozy. When one went up for sale, Lilly and her husband bought it. There happened to be one nearby, and when it was for sale, I wasn’t too surprised when Hisao and Hanako snatched it up; they always did like the area.

Anyway, Lilly and her husband George’s summer home had some guest space; in case a certain awesome sister happened to be in town. So, the thirteen of us -Kenji and Miya had other plans- were set for a nice summer weekend over the trimester break; just us, our kids, and the sun.

Yeah, right.

The sun part of our trip was already looking out of the question, as the sky was pretty cloudy when we finally parked in the driveway of Lilly’s house. We would’ve taken a train, but I’d rather drive; all those nice, open country roads with no cops around. If Hanako could’ve, she probably would have done the same on one of her motorcycles. As it was, my and Georges’s car stopped in the gravel driveway and I eased out of the car, my husband and two girls not far after me.

Almost twice the size of the one I'd sold off, Lilly's summer home had two floors, and the same Western style. It was painted a nice yellow with a black slanted roof, and everywhere around us there was wheat, and trees; the pathways leading to town some kilometers away were lined with forest.

Hisao’s home was about three kilometers down the road, but it wasn’t actually on the main road, so he turned right and headed down along a gravel path. They’d be over in a bit, but first they had to unpack and feed the baby.

Daichi, a slightly tall man with short black hair and brown eyes, stepped out of the car while our two girls, Carry and Chise, bolted from the back seats. The twin girls had brown eyes and dark brown hair, and were five years old. Having done the whole husband/kids/family thing a little later then my sister and her friends, despite the age difference, my kids were about the same age as theirs.

“Nice to be back,” I said, moving over to and lifting the popped trunk.

“Yup,” Daichi said; he was never one to waste words.

“Indeed,” I heard Lilly say from my right. Out of the car, she and George set about retrieving their luggage and preparing to unpack. She was wearing a light green ankle length skirt and matching sweater. Watching her tap her metal cane as she navigated the familiar driveway, mostly seeking out any new potholes, I caught a glimmer in the cloudy afternoon light from her little silver cross and Saint Lucy necklace.

Speaking of Saint Lucy, Thomas, their son, being led out of the car by their daughter, Hanaye, was the reason for Lilly's added neckwear. Both black-haired like their father, Thomas had green eyes while Hanaye's were hazel. Making his way over to the kids, speaking of George, he was actually a few centimeters shorter then Lilly. Wearing casual business attire similar to my own, he smiled and shook his head at the battle of wills the two never seemed to stop.

“I know where I’m going!” Thomas snapped at his older sister.

“I know that, I’m just helping you down!” Hanaye said in a placating tone.

“Tom, your sister’s just trying to help,” George remarked. He tended to alternate between English and Japanese when talking to his family. I did the same thing. It was interesting when he spoke Japanese with his Canadian accent, though.

“Still, you need to respect your brother’s independence,” Lilly said as she pulled a suitcase out from the trunk.

Lilly never once said she regretted her son being born blind. Still, a few days after he was born, she had picked up and started wearing that necklace; Saint Lucy, patron saint of the blind. She always was the religious one. I couldn’t stand that stuff myself; reminded me too much of my father and his stringent ideas about raising us. Sure, Lilly had taken to it like a duck to water, but I preferred a more relaxed attitude. I shook away the impulse to get pissed at my father and started unloading the car, making sure the twins didn’t hassle Tom and Hana too much.

Looking the same as we left it last year, the front porch was pretty big, with a nice awning and some old rocking chairs. Inside, the front door led to a big living room, decked out with enough chairs and sofa space for everyone, even Kenji; whenever he showed up. Leading from the living room, a doorway on the right, near the front, opened into the kitchen, while another doorway further back led to a hallway, through which you would find the first floor bathroom and dining room. A third doorway on the left of the back wall led upstairs. The second floor consisted of the two bedrooms, two more bathrooms, and some closets.

I know I make it sound big, but it actually wasn’t that much floor space. The kids would be sleeping in the family room, which was fine, because I had power over the remote control for the TV in the evening. The kids were already shoving their sleeping bags into a corner for when they’d need them.

By the time we had unloaded the cars and Lilly and George started making dinner, Hisao, Hanako, and their kids had arrived. I greeted them at the door with my usual gusto, palming a beer in my right hand like always. It was the first of the day; I do not have a problem, no matter what my father says.

“Hey, you made it!” I said as they started walking in. Hanako was first, dressed in her usual dark blue pants, light purple shirt, denim jacket, and that adorable flatcap of hers. Her hair was held back these days, so you could see the scars on her face clearly. Not that I gave a damn. She nodded and stepped in, cradling the infant Refia in her arms.

“Hello,” she said, then sniffed, “making dinner?”

“Yup, if you wanna help, I can take the kid for you,” holding up the beer, I added, “I haven’t opened this yet.”

Hanako nodded and carefully placed their youngest daughter in my arms while I handed her my beer. She looked just like any other baby girl, really, especially since she seemed to be asleep.

As Hanako headed for the kitchen -opening my beer in the process- Hisao stepped in, his son, Akio, and daughter, Satomi, following close behind. He was wearing his usual white shirt and blue checkered sweater-vest. Satomi had Hisao’s brown eyes and dark hair like Hanako, which matched her brown skirt and little dress rather well. Akio had darker eyes and brown hair, and was wearing khaki pants and a t-shirt.

“Hey,” Hisao said, stepping in, “settled in?”

“Yup,” I replied with a slight nod, “how ‘bout you?”

“Everything’s fine,” he remarked, glancing back outside, “though if it starts raining we might be in trouble- Akio hates thunder.”

“It better not rain!” Satomi groaned, “we were supposed to go on a nature hike tomorrow.”

Hisao sighed, “and yet you forget to pick up your toys.”

Chuckling, I motioned for them to come in. Daichi was in the living room sipping scotch from a glass, the decanter on the coffee table, and Hisao lost no time finding a glass and some ice cubes. His kids, meanwhile, dashed upstairs in search of Tom, Hana and the twins.

“Six kids and a baby,” Hisao said, sipping scotch as he sat down.

“It’ll be fine,” I said, “won’t it, Refia?”

Opening her eyes at me briefly, she yawned and closed them again. Looking up from her, with that goofy smile all parents develop in the presence of a happy baby, I noticed Hisao eyeing me oddly.

“What?” I prompted.

Shrugging, he smiled and remarked, “never took you for the maternal type, is all.”

“Very funny,” I replied sardonically; after raising my sister for nearly six years, I was damn sure I was kickass mother.

“I thought so,” Daichi chided, earning him a glare, “what’s for dinner?”

“Food made by the only cooks in the three families,” I said, shrugging, “eat it, don’t complain, and pray Hanako isn’t experimenting tonight.”

“I heard that!” Hanako exclaimed. I hadn't expected her to hear me, though I knew Lilly could.

“Lils, defend me in there, would ya?” I requested.

“I’m sure I have no idea what you are talking about,” she replied, snickering.

“Thanks, Judas,” I snorted.

“Rule of the kitchen,” Daichi said, “never anger the cook. They control the quality of your food and have large knives.”

Following that, chatter returned to normal, and dinner turned out to be delicious. Afterwards the clouds slowly thickened, and a quick check on my laptop confirmed the likelihood of afternoon showers.

“We can just do the walk in the morning,” Hisao said, picking at some peach cobbler as he sat in a plush chair. The dining room was too small for everyone to sit in, so Hisao, Daichi, and Hanako took up the chairs -with Refia in a backup travel crib- while Lilly and George used the sofa. The kids were using the dining room. Smirking as he scraped another bite onto his fork, he added, “I can skip my run that way.”

“My, my, and you were so diligent about them, too,” Lilly teased from the sofa, her cobbler placed next to her on the coffee table while she picked and scraped at it carefully.

Hisao grimaced at her before realization dawned, “oh right, tomorrow’s Friday. Guess I’ll go for a quick jog anyway, then.”

Noticing it appeared to be getting a little brighter outside, I looked out the window next to the front door. The clouds had parted, and it looked like the moon was shining outside. I was already finished eating, so I stepped out onto the front porch and looked up.

The moon was full, alright; or close enough that it didn’t matter. The clouds were still thick, though, so it wasn’t long before they were once again covering the moon’s light.

“Looks like a full moon,” Hisao said, startling me; I hadn’t heard him come out. Hanako was behind him with Refia in her arms. They looked ready to go.

“Yeah, I was thinking that myself,” I remarked absently. The brightness of the moon had thrown me a bit.

“Shame it’s so cloudy,” he lamented, “I brought a telescope to watch the stars, but it looks like we coulda saved the space.”

Hanako tried to reassure him, “it might clear up in a day or two.”

“Good point,” I remarked, peeling my eyes away from the hidden moon behind the overcast sky. Remembering how they looked ready to head out, I added, “you two leaving?”

As I said that Akio and Satomi stepped outside, as well.

“Yeah, we need to get her to bed,” Hisao explained, motioning towards Refia, “and it’s past someone’s bed time, anyway.”

“But we’re on vacation!” Akio protested.

“He has a point,” I added with a smirk.

Hisao nodded and stepped off the porch. “See you tomorrow for the walk,” he called back, not bothering to look as he strode toward their car, “we’ll be by around nine, okay?”

“See you then!” I replied, waving despite his not seeing the motion. Watching them leave, I thought it was nice out, so I figured a beer on the porch would be a nice way to finish the night. Turning to head inside, I saw the others getting up and moving toward the porch; I guessed they had the same idea, sans the beer.

Before I could start heading into the kitchen, I heard something out in the wheat fields, causing me to look back out that way. It was an unfamiliar, eerie sound that I could swear sounded like a baying wolf. That ridiculous thought was quashed by my realization that both wolf subspecies native to Japan were extinct, but, still, it was distinctly creepy. The hairs on the back of my neck stood as I peered into the distant darkness, trying to find the source of that howl.

“Something wrong?” Daichi asked, startling me again. Being the first one outside, he had brought me a beer; he knew me so well.

Shaking my head to clear the creepy feeling, I disarmed his concerned grimace with a quick smile. “Just hearing things,” I said, grabbing the beer and popping it open, “probably just the wind.”

How dumbassedly wrong I was.

+++
Next Chapter

Yup, things are going bump in the night, and for once, it ain’t Hisao.

Hope you like the change in POV character. Feedback is, as always, appreciated.

I would also like to thank my reluctantly eager editor/proofreader/arms dealer Helbereth. This work is greater for his involvement, and for that, I thank him: thanx.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 5:07 pm
by Trivun
Hmmmm... this is... odd. Thankfully, I like odd xD.

Yeah, I reckon this is a pretty good story. I'll definitely be following the updates, and I have to say I can't find much to criticise it about. Though I am a little surprised that Kenji is friends with the current group, even if he's only mentioned in passing... ;) (I'm guessing it's down to him knowing Lilly a bit as well as being Hisao's neighbour then?)

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 5:22 pm
by Hoitash
Trivun wrote:Hmmmm... this is... odd. Thankfully, I like odd xD.
.

Thanks; I've found my particular brand of insanity, though far from mainstream, manages to get me a small, reliable -and rather dedicated- fanbase, so thanks for reading :)
Though I am a little surprised that Kenji is friends with the current group... (I'm guessing it's down to him knowing Lilly a bit as well as being Hisao's neighbour then?)
More or less. The spider-web of links is more obvious in the main series, but it boils down to Hisao and Kenji went to the same university, Hisao married Hanako, Lilly stayed in Japan, and Akira married The Boyfriend. And kids. Lots of kids. Plus, Kenji may be out of his mind, but at heart he's a good guy.

Oh, and Shizune and Lilly reconciled, but that's more verisimilitude then pertinent.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:14 am
by Mirage_GSM
“and it’s passed someone’s bed time, anyway.”
past.

Otherwise nice story so far.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 10:25 am
by Hoitash
Argh!

Thanks for noticing that :)
Otherwise nice story so far.
Thank you, and thanks for reading.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 5:57 pm
by Helbereth
I'd read it, but I already did like eight times...

I'll reserve comments since... well.. I know too much.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Mon Oct 15, 2012 6:01 pm
by Hoitash
Helbereth wrote:I'd read it, but I already did like eight times...
:sheepish grimace:

Thanks again, btw :)

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:05 am
by Hoitash
“There are those who doubt the power of Satan. The power of Satan to change men into beasts. But the ancient Pagans did not doubt, nor did the prophets. Did not Daniel warn Nebakanezer? But the proud king did not heed Daniel. And so, as the bible says, he was made as unto a wolf and cast down from man. A beast has come among us!” –Reverend Fisk, The Wolf Man (2010 version.)

Previous Chapter

Part Two: Strange Occurrences


The morning walk went great, Hisao proving that modern medicine and a good exercise regimen are excellent preventive measures against a heart condition. With the afternoon rain still a few hours away, we decided to head into town for lunch.

Stopping at a small restaurant that reminded me of the Shanghai, the tea-house near Yamaku, I noticed Hisao pick up a local newspaper as he sat down. Our group ended up needing three tables because of its size. While we ordered, a weird look dominated Hisao’s face, so I asked him what was up.

“Nothing,” he said, with a voice that clearly indicated otherwise, “just something Kenji said came back to me, and I’m trying to repress it for the sake of my sanity.”

I chuckled at that, but, when the look didn’t go away, I frowned and asked, “is it related to a case or something?”

“Not really,” he assured me, shrugging lightly. With a quick shake of his head, the look quickly disappeared; as if he had never had it in the first place.

While he and Hanako were talking, I grabbed the paper and checked it out. Being from that morning, the front page contained a notice about someone having been murdered in the nearby countryside last night. Vicious and gruesome, the victim had been found in pieces, apparently; most of which were still missing. When the story started going into grotesque details involving organs, I quickly stopped reading and sneakily returned the paper next to Hisao.

“Still hungry?” Hisao quipped. Hanako looked at us quizzically as I balked; crap, I was busted.

“…Yeah, that hike was a trip," I remarked, trying to go with the topic change. Failing that, I had to ask, "how the…heck is that article related to Kenji’s work?”

“He is a writer, too, you know,” Hisao replied.

Before I could say anything more, Hanako grabbed the paper and read it for herself. Not taking the headline particularly well, her face becoming slightly pale and her eyes opening a little too wide, she started cooing to Refia in her stroller. Hisao asked her if she was okay, though the opposite seemed obvious. Saying she would be fine, given time, he dropped the subject.

By then everyone had read the paper. George had read it to Lilly in a whispered tone, and all of us were discussing it as discreetly as we could around the kids. We also had to make sure none of the ones that could read could get a copy.

“But why not?” Carry asked me as we were leaving.

“It’s got adult stuff in it, and I get to decide what adult stuff you’re exposed to, and when," I replied, not wanting her to have grounds for rebuttal, "okay?”

Carry made a weird noise and nodded.

“We should get some ice cream,” Daichi suggested.

Tapping her cane as she walked alongside George with her left arm wrapped around his right, Lilly agreed, “an excellent idea.”

“Yeah, good idea,” Hisao added.

Knowing Kenji was into some weird shit, I really wanted to ask how such a gruesome murder might relate to his work. Besides, if something like that could rattle Hisao, I knew we should all be concerned. Even though it had occurred on the other side of town, that didn’t mean we were safe.

Having walked into town rather than driving, we plodded along in silence back toward our summer homes after picking up the suggested ice cream. Along the way, Hisao tried to assure us, "we'll be fine."

Everyone turned to him in unison, and it would have been comical if they hadn't all looked so terrified. They were hiding it, of course, for the kids, but for a few brief moments the tension nearly broke their facades.

“The paper said it was probably a local stray dog or something," he explained, trying to assuage our collective fears, "so it’s nothing to worry about; someone will find it and take care of it.”

“Now that you mention it,” I added, “I did hear some weird howling last night.”

Hisao flinched when I said that, but he was smiling when he spoke, “there you go, mystery solved. Stray dog. Freak occurrence; nothing to worry about.”

Arriving back at Lilly’s summer house just as the promised rain began falling from the overcast sky, I was able to get back into the summer-vacation spirit. Rumblings of thunder echoed in the distance, I thought, though we never saw any of the accompanying flashes. It was a nice, warm summer rain, though it was falling in torrential sheets. Fortunately, heavy rains such as that never lasted very long.

Despite the rain, everything seemed normal, and worrying about a grisly local story we had no control over would just dampen our enjoyment. Even Hanako had recovered as we settled in for dinner. After dinner, a check of the local weather report showed the rain would continue for quite a while, so Hisao, Hanako and the kids had to brave through it if they wanted to get back home. Luckily, Hisao had the forethought to bring a big umbrella.

Finding the awning protected the porch from the rain, we all went out to see them off. Sighing and watching as the rain poured, I remarked, “looks like shopping tomorrow is out; if the rain doesn’t let up.”

“We’ll come by for lunch anyway,” Hisao said as he unfurled the umbrella for his family to walk under. Over the din of pattering rain, I heard howling again and watched as Hisao stopped dead in his tracks, turning towards the noise. As he did so, Lilly perked her head in the direction of the strange sound.

“What was that sound?” she asked, her normally reserved tone failing to mask her concern.

“No idea,” Daichi said, shrugging.

“Probably the stray dog,” George surmised.

“It’s a pretty big dog, then,” I added.

Hisao quickly ushered Hanako and the kids into his car. He seemed in a hurry all of a sudden, and I couldn’t help but wonder if it had to do with that noise. As he left I heard the noise again, and this time it sounded closer.

I didn’t sleep well that night.

Looking out the window of our bedroom at the wheat field, instead of sleeping, I couldn’t see much through the rain, but every once in a while I swore I saw a mass of wheat shift and rustle. Squinting, I’d try to look harder, but, every time I looked, the movement was gone, if it had ever been there.

When I thought I saw a pair of yellow eyes reflecting coldly in the darkness, I backed away from the window. A chill ran down my spine, but, at the same time, I couldn’t help being really pissed off. That thing, that... creature, whatever it was, was out there, near my family, and it was watching us. A maternal anger started to flow through me, focused on whatever shadowy, yellow-eyed creature was stalking us, and I decided if it wanted them, it was going to have to go through me. That’s the one lesson I’m proud to say my father taught me; if you mess with the Satou’s, you pay.

Grabbing the baseball bat from under my bed, a regulation wooden bat designed for playing rather than home security, I crept out of the dark bedroom and snuck downstairs. The kids were all sound asleep, so I sidled over toward the front door, adjusting my grip on the impromptu weapon and steadying my shallow breathing as I went. Having no idea what I was going to do, aside from beat a stray dog to death like some serial killer in training, I reached for the deadbolt slowly.

In my zeal to kick ass and take names, I had forgotten the fact that I was about to fight a feral animal out in its natural environment. Hesitating with my hand on the bolt latch, I realized if I went out there, I might not come back. My family needed me, my sister needed me, hell, even Hanako needed me, and I was of little use if I charged outside in vigilante-bitch-mode and got my throat ripped out by a stray dog.

Hearing the howl again, I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end. Mixed with the pattering rain, I noticed it seemed farther away than before, which was reassuring, in a way. It was leaving us alone, perhaps to find something else to stalk and hunt. Noticing its direction, it sounded like it was heading toward the Nakai's. Hisao was a geek, but he knew how to take care of himself and his own; Kenji and Shizune had made sure of that.

As I lowered the bat, I realized I had been clutching it so tightly my knuckles were bleach-white. Chuckling quietly to myself, more from nerves than finding anything amusing, I hauled myself upstairs as exhaustion replaced adrenaline. Dragging my now weary body back to bed, I heard the distant rumble of thunder, and I told myself I had imagined the howling; I almost believed my own bullshit, too.

Something was definitely out there, and, whatever it was, I knew Hisao was keeping some information from us, probably for good reason. Whatever he had gleaned from that article, I was certain he knew there was more to it than a simple stray dog. When he came over for lunch, regardless of his reasons, he and I were going to have a serious talk.

+++
Next Chapter

The plot, it is thickening.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! An MD Halloween S

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:40 am
by Mirage_GSM
Hoitash wrote:“There are those who doubt the power of Satan. The power of Satan to change men into beasts. But the ancient Pagans did not doubt, nor did the prophets. Did not Daniel warn Nebakanezer? But the proud king did not heed Daniel. And so, as the bible says, he was made as unto a wolf and cast down from man. A beast has come among us!” –Reverend Fisk, The Wolf Man (2010 version.)
That doesn't really make any sense to me...
So that Nebakanezer guy was punished by Satan for being evil by turning him into a ferocious killing machine?
Isn't that more a punishment for everyone else?

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 11:47 am
by Hoitash
The curse was not permanent. He eventually repented and became a faithful servant of God.

I do not believe the Reverend is entirely sane when he states that. I actually have only seen the original Wolf Man. I didn't know they did a remake until I looked for the quote.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 12:52 pm
by Mirage_GSM
I've seen neither. I was just going by your quote.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 1:08 pm
by Hoitash
Mirage_GSM wrote:I've seen neither. I was just going by your quote.
Ah, I see. I must remember frame of reference in future quote selection.

Was it foreshadowy, though? That was my main goal.

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 4:45 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Let's say it this way...
It was less foreshadowy than the title of the story ^^°

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 7:40 pm
by Hoitash
Mirage_GSM wrote:Let's say it this way...
It was less foreshadowy than the title of the story ^^°
:Sheepish grin:

Yeah, I wasn't sure how to avoid that.

My alternative title was "Were is it?" But I felt the pun took away from the atmosphere I was going for.

I guess my next question then is: does the title reduce your enjoyment of the story?

Re: Hisao and Akira(?!)- Werewolf Slayers! Updated 10/16

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 2:03 am
by Scissorlips
This is a fun little story so far, I think it's leading up to Halloween quite nicely. I can't say I've had time to read much else of your writing, so I don't know how much the few things I might point out apply to it, but I hope you'll find these thoughts useful.

-I'm sure it's just because I'm so incredibly used to dealing with things in present tense, but the use of third tense in this story really does feel like it's actively detracting from the sense of movement at times, it makes things feel more sullen. I'm sure it's possible to have incredible stories set all in past tense, but I've always preferred present so I wouldn't really have a clue how to improve on that. If past is what you prefer to write in though, that's of course your choice.
-One thing I've noticed is that some of your sentences are fairly heavy on verbs. For example:
Smirking, I chuckled at that, but, when the look didn’t go away, I frowned and asked, “is it related to a case or something?”
Akira is doing four things, all in one sentence. She's smirking, she's chuckling, she's frowning and then she's asking him something. This feels kind of choppy and disjointed. Another example:
we plodded along in silence back toward our summer homes after getting and eating the suggested ice cream.
"Getting and eating" seems like it's just a downright strange way of describing it. You could say something simpler that would be more clear, such as just "after picking up some ice cream".

-Two small things:
worrying about a grizzly local story
The word is "grisly", unless this story is actually about werebears instead of werewolves, which would be awesome.
Over the din of pattering rain
Hmm.

-One last thing I would note is to try to be on the lookout for repetitive words or sounds in your writing, for example the numerous uses of "rain" (about twelve in this chapter), or:
I swore I saw a mass of wheat shift and rustle. Squinting, I’d try to look harder, but, every time I looked, the rustling was gone,
Grabbing the baseball bat from under my bed, a regulation wooden bat designed for playing rather than home security, I crept out of the dark bedroom and snuck downstairs. The kids were all sound asleep, so I sidled over toward the front door, adjusting my grip on the bat and steadying my shallow breathing as I went.
Chuckling quietly to myself, more from nerves than finding anything amusing, I hauled myself upstairs as exhaustion replaced adrenaline. Dragging myself back to bed,
I know that, in some of these cases (such as "bat"), finding different ways to describe something can be difficult, but in this case, you could exchange one or two with something like "my weapon", or other things like that.

I hope all of that is useful to you, I'm not at all trying to sound like an ass. Let me say again that I'm enjoying this story, I don't really have a lot of time to catch up on ones that have been running longer, so I'm glad I got in on one of your stories near the beginning.