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Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:49 pm
by Doomish
Forget it.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:49 pm
by Doomish
Forget it.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 2:49 pm
by Doomish
Forget it.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 5:49 pm
by Mader Levap
I can tell already it is better than first try. In fact, I hope it will not be gloomy and doomy. At least not THAT much.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 8:33 pm
by Hoitash
Interesting turn of events... very nice :)

Rin and Misha hanging out... that might be a new one.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Mon Oct 08, 2012 10:00 pm
by ProfAllister
Looking like a solid entry. Always interesting to see how people interpret Misha and where they take her. Especially interesting when it's a rethought version when I've seen the previous attempt.

Having obsessively researched certain details WAY too much, I hate to have to do this to you:
Doomish wrote:"Not really~. I had a lot of time to myself before Shicchan and I became friends. I've lived here my whole life!" I guess that widens the range of when she could have first come upon her thinking spot, then. If she's lived in town that long, it could have been anytime between then and now. I guess it doesn't really matter WHEN she found the spot, why she was in the forest by her lonesome is probably a better question to ask.
Act 1: Smalltalk wrote:Hisao: "What's the festival about?"

Misha freezes.

Misha: "…Wahahaha~! I don't know, Hicchan, the truth is it's a local event, and I'm not from this area, so…"

She starts signing desperately to Shizune, asking her to bail her out. Shizune adjusts her glasses at the end of an oddly grandiose flourish and starts signing hard and heavy.
Looks like you've got yourself a contradiction. I'll leave you to decide if it's an actual contradiction or only an apparent contradiction.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Wed Oct 10, 2012 3:36 am
by BlackWaltzTheThird
Taking the opportunity here to add this to my tracked topics, by posting. I'll get to reading it soon. Maybe. I have math homework and my birthday to attend to right now. I'll amend this post with my thoughts when I read the rereleased chapters.

EDIT: Okay, here goes. I've not read up on the original for a long while, but for the most part the first 4 parts seemed the same as I remember. So I guess Chapters 5 and 6 are where the main focus should be.
Doomish wrote:but there's also luncht hat I could spend with her
Lunch that.

Scene 5 seems mostly familiar. But it seems once again that this dating thing came on really damn fast. Like, not even two weeks? Dayum, moving along real quick there. The introduction of Rin was a pleasant surprise, even if I did expect it by the title of the scene. It reinforces the idea that Misha has this facade for when she's around people other than Hisao, even unfamiliar-ish ones such as Rin. I don't think there's much more for me to comment on at the moment, os let's leave it there.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Thu Oct 11, 2012 8:16 pm
by Rikabro
Not gonna lie, the bit with Rin left a bad taste in my mouth. Maybe because it brought to mind that terrible episode from Act One where Lilly and Hisao bump into Rin, and Lilly proceeds to treat her like a leper. I also cringed a little when the subject of problems within pants came up. Almost felt like you were parodying her.

No worries. You just know how fussy I am when it comes to Rin.

Anyways, there's a lot to love in your Misha as always. I can tell you're really into her, which is why you're the obvious candidate to write her a pseudo route. Her chemistry with Hisao has this real John Hughes vibe, which I love. Can't wait to see where it goes. Just go easy on my Rin, ok?

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 6:07 am
by Scissorlips
Back in action! It's been a little while since I came back to this story and I had to shake some dust off here and there (and it's also 3 AM so I apologize but even my sorry excuse for a doodle will have to wait), but I am glad to see things back on track. I can clearly see how the new scene diverged from the old path, and I like the direction you're taking the story and the characters in. I would caution you to try to be very careful and focused when including characters like Rin though, otherwise she might come off as pure, "lol so random" comic relief at times.
Keep it up, Doomish. When this is all over with, I'll buy you a parfait.

Edit: I deliver.
Image

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:39 am
by Hanako Scars
Thanks for posting this Doomish, are you going to update it semi-regularly this time though? A proper, finished Misha fic is near the top of my what-i-want-more-than-anything-else-in-the-world list.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:51 am
by Doomish
Scissorlips wrote: Edit: I deliver.

(genius)
It is gorgeous. I love everything ever.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 7:41 am
by BlackWaltzTheThird
Scissorlips wrote: Edit: I deliver.

(genius)
Am I the only one who is reminded of Scott pilgrim for some reason? Hisao looks like Scott with an ahoge, Misha like pink-haired Ramona, and the tiny Rin reminds me of Knives in that one panel. I forget where it was in the series though.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 8:58 am
by Doomish
Katawa Shoujo and Scott Pilgrim. Well, I guess I know what my next fanfic is going to be about, then.

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 3:14 pm
by Raxmann
yeah i think you should totally keep with rin and emi
i mean, not that im... well i actually dont much like shizune i wont deny it her route bored me to tears (although that may be lack of liquids and strained eyes)

but having someone other than the "defacto other" for a change would actually be very welcome most stories i read so far still have the normal pairing system that being
hanako - lilly, shizune - misha, emi - rin

a bit mixing up is a great idea

my favourites are emi and lilly if anyone wonders. i had to actually get drunk during rins to finish it got so damn depressed.

best to worst(which will be my tag if i ever work out how)

Lilly, Emi (though i rate them about the same), misha, akira, hanako, yuuko, kenji, rin, the school rooftop, a random tree, hisaos umbrella, being hit by a car, stabbed during a robbery of the teahouse, THEN shizunes

Re: Doomish's Misha Route: The Rewrite! [Updated 10/08]

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 10:42 pm
by griffon8
Well I took a chance on the new Misha Route. I'm hoping the normal reasons I have for not reading your writing (e.g., With Apologies…) don't pop up here.

I'm glad I took the chance. I didn't read your last attempt, so I have no preconceived notions about it. It firmly establishes where the divergence occurs, and takes off from there. But I'd rather you just told your story instead of including game choices. I know that's popular for 'route' stories, but it really breaks the immersion for me. Perhaps if there was only one or two towards the end, like the Pseudo-Pseudo Suzu Route does, that would work.
Doomish wrote:SCENE 6: THE WORRY TREE

"I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow, right~?" Misha brushes the bangs out of her eyes, turning to me. Her eyes are absolutely beautiful in the moonlight; they look gold, almost amber. Her cheeks dimple as she smiles at me.

"Definitely," is all I can think to say.
Boy, they skip out on Student Council business and now they're planning on skipping their morning run? These two are becoming delinquents. :P