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Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:48 pm
by Heartless Wanderer
I simply don't see Hanako reaching out to someone like that. By which I mean grabbing their arm. It's so out of character that it's painful for my imagination to formulate.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 12:26 pm
by Oddball
I believe it's called assessing all the information you have and looking beyond some of it (his personality is pretty much a front to who he really is,
It's such a good front, he seems to keep it up when nobody else is around and in his internal monologues as well!

The guy hasn't really shown any real likable qualities, either alone or in the presence of others.

One thing you don't seem to get about Hanako is that she has the single worst self esteem imaginable. She already goes into every situation thinking people are going to look down at her and dislike her. Why would she even try to approach a person that's already seems to dislike everyone and says he just wants to be left alone.

The chances of her approaching somebody and trying to get their attention even if they are really friendly and open minded are next to nothing as it is. Lilly mentions that Hanako came to her room quite a few times before she could ever work up the nerve to speak, and Lilly was both extremely friendly AND can't see.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Thu Nov 15, 2012 2:05 pm
by Heartless Wanderer
Right, which is why trying to imagine her approaching a complete stranger and getting their attention by grabbing that stranger's arm makes my brain hurt. The idea that Hanako might want to do so is beside the point; it would take her a very long time to work herself up to attempting it and even then she would most likely chicken out in the process. This is pre-Hisao Hanako we're talking about, even.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 9:18 am
by Guest Poster
I believe it's called assessing all the information you have and looking beyond some of it (his personality is pretty much a front to who he really is,
The problem is that Hanako is terrible at this. Throughout her route, it's made clear that Hanako has the tendency to assume the worst about people if their motives are unclear and giving others the benefit of the doubt is something she downright sucks at. Her experiences in elementary and middle school left her a misanthrope and even Lilly and Hisao had difficulty gaining her trust. "Once bitten, twice shy" is a proverb that seems to have been made with Hanako in mind. So yes, it probably will require some gymnastics to make her approach to your OC believable.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:11 pm
by demonix
Guest Poster wrote:
I believe it's called assessing all the information you have and looking beyond some of it (his personality is pretty much a front to who he really is,
The problem is that Hanako is terrible at this. Throughout her route, it's made clear that Hanako has the tendency to assume the worst about people if their motives are unclear and giving others the benefit of the doubt is something she downright sucks at. Her experiences in elementary and middle school left her a misanthrope and even Lilly and Hisao had difficulty gaining her trust. "Once bitten, twice shy" is a proverb that seems to have been made with Hanako in mind. So yes, it probably will require some gymnastics to make her approach to your OC believable.
I think the part where they were alone in the classroom would be somewhat akin to the scene between Hisao and Hanako in the library (I only put it in to have the character know that she was there, but I considered afterwards that scene could be similar to the library scene in the game with a different outcome since he doesn't pay much attention to her) with the outburst giving her some information on what might have happened to him.

There will be some more usual Hanako antics in the next chapter along with something that might be considered out of place for her (I'll leave the details until the next chapter is actually posted).

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 6:45 pm
by demonix
That's the next chapter finally done (that's a lie since I finished it a few weeks ago, but I wasn't that happy with some parts of it and the dream sequence at the beginning looked to be too long and didn't look right so it won't be seeing the light of day beyond the master file).

I did a few tweaks to it yesterday along with a few more a little while ago (along with spotting a blooper or two that I missed), and I'm now a bit happier with how it reads.

One thing I should note is that some of what happens might not happen in reality.

And just to make it clear in case I haven't done so before, Hisao isn't gong to feature nor is he going to turn up in the story.

Now on to the story.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Key of the Twilight

......

I suddenly found myself wide awake, sitting bolt upright in my bed and breathing heavily.
Once I got my breathing under control, I started looking around the room and part of the possible reason for that dream became clear.
All the homework was pretty easy to get through, so I'd gotten it all finished before I started on dinner and once I'd finished with that, I started playing the first of the .hack games until I couldn't stay awake.

One think that took me by surprise was who my partner was, and it made me regret what I'd said to that girl in the library yesterday.
It wasn't like she was going to dig into my private life like that pink haired megaphone was, she only wanted to reach out to me but I'm not sure she was expecting me to be there at the time I was in the library since she looked rather panicked.
That only got worse when I had a go at her as the look on her face would probably be the same as someone who was looking at their greatest fear, and it made me think that I wouldn't be able to apologise since getting close to her after that could end in her running away from me.
With not much else to mull over, I laid back down in my bed, looked over at my alarm clock and.....

It suddenly dawned on me that in my sleepy stupor, I managed to switch everything off and head to bed, but I forgot to set my alarm and now I've only got about half an hour to get myself ready and get to class.
Now that time was against me, I couldn't really lie in this bed so what was covering my body is now somewhere else and I quickly stuck the socks over the stumps and put the limbs of afterwards.
There wasn't any of the usual grace I'd usually put into putting my prosthetics on, but I didn't have the time to go through all that nor did I have the time to get dressed at my usual pace as clothes went on as quickly as I could find them.
Once I looked relatively decent, I grabbed my bag which I'd sorted out yesterday and headed to class.

It wasn't all plain walking as I kept on getting a bit of discomfort each time I put weight onto my right leg, but I didn't have time to sort it out now so I'll see what the problem is when I get to class.
I managed to get to class in what felt like seconds to spare, and as I walked in I could see that apart from my seat there was one other that was still devoid of it's occupant.
The only people who noticed my entrance was the pink haired megaphone and her quieter companion, and they didn't look that happy as I approached them.

"Where did you disappear to yesterday during lunch", the pink haired girl asked "there were a few things we needed to discuss with you and you just upped and vanished from the classroom".
"Didn't you bother checking the cafeteria", I said in a harsh tone "and I think you know the reason why I left in that fashion".
"As class representative, it's my responsibility to make sure that everything is fine with any new student in this class", the pink haired girl said.
"Does that responsibility also include not abiding by that new students request", I said with the tone in my voice getting even harsher.
"What do you mean by that", the pink haired girl asked.
"You should know what I mean since you two were the ones who sorted out my room", I said "I made it clear that a certain item wasn't to be displayed and you just went and ignored it".

I would've gone on a bit longer, but the sound of the door opening put an end to that and as I looked towards the door, an all to familiar figure was standing there with what could only be described as a scared look on her face.
Not wanting to frighten her off so early in the day, I decided to take a few seconds to compose myself before heading to my seat.
It seemed to had the effect I was hoping for as I caught her heading for her own seat just a few seconds before the door opened and the first teacher walked in.

Whilst everyone was paying attention to what was the teacher was saying, I decided to check my right leg and found that in the rush to get ready I'd managed to put it on slightly the wrong way, so I decided to sort it out while trying not to be so obvious in what I was doing.
With my right prosthetic in a more comfortable and correct position, my focus went back to the lesson.

A wave of relief went through the classroom when the lunch bell rang, and I decided to head down to the cafeteria although there were still some problems with my right leg.
Each step on my right leg felt unusually uncomfortable, but there wasn't anywhere I could stop to check it so I headed on towards the cafeteria and hoped that I could find somewhere to actually check to make sure the limb was correctly fitted.
I managed to get to the serving area, but once I'd gotten what I'd selected I felt something slip off my right leg and...
Oh great, I didn't manage to put the limb on properly when I had to sort it out this morning and it's just come off.

"How long are you going to stand there", an aggravated voice asked "you're holding up the line".
Have you ever tried to re-fit a prosthetic limb blind, it isn't that easy even if I don't know if the sock is still in place.
"Is this going to take any longer", the aggravated voice asked "there are others waiting".
The more you complain, the harder it will be for me to get this sor- oh where the heck is the socket.
"Would you just hurry up and finish what you're doing", the aggravated voice said with a bit more aggression the their voice.
That didn't help one bit as the added aggression in the persons voice made me flinch which took me off balance and ended with me trying to use my left hand to brace my self as I hit the floor.
Now I'm on the cafeteria floor with no right limb on an a painful left hand or wrist or whatever it is that is hurting now, but as my attention was more focused on my hand/wrist I was certain that someone was putting my prosthetic limb back on.

Once the pain had subsided enough, I moved to find that my prosthetic right limb had been put back on and that there was a lot of discussions going on about what just happened.
"I didn't expect Hanako to do something like that", one person said.
"She's always running away from any kind of encounter, so this really is unexpected", another person said.
"He did have a go at the class rep yesterday, so she might have figured there was something behind it", a third person said.
"That would be a long shot even for her", the first person said.

I decided to stop listening in to their conversation since I'd gotten back to my feet, so I picked up my tray and headed to an empty seat as far away from the other groups of people.
There weren't any problems with my right limb this time as I took the first available seat and started eating.
Nothing much had changed in the quality of the food since the first day I started here which made my making my own lunch plans even more of a requirement.
Once I'd gotten through the food on my plate, I took everything over to the usual place and headed back to the classroom.
On the way back I managed to find a gents toilet, so I snuck into one of the cubicles to check on my right limb.

It was pretty much in the correct place which surprised me as the person who did this did a better job with about the same amount of time as I did.
A twinge from my left wrist made me turn my attention to that, and even though there wasn't any swelling I decided that I should go see the nurse, but it'll have to be once classes are over since the bell just rang and I'm not to sure if an unscheduled trip to the nurses office would be an acceptable excuse for turning up to class late.
When I reached the door to the classroom, there was another surprise waiting for me as the dark haired girl was just about to go through the back door but she froze in fright when she saw me so I went into the classroom since talking to her would be pointless.

As the afternoon lessons went on, I started to go through what had happened in the cafeteria.
Since I didn't really know the names of anyone in the class, I couldn't even hazard a guess as to who this Hanako is, but I can eliminate at least five people from that line up since the two sitting to my right would be unlikely to match what little I knew about this person along with three of the girls in the front row since they were most likely the three who were talking in the cafeteria since I did see them after I'd gotten back on my feet.
However, my mind did go back to the dark haired girl that I've been encountering, and some of what had been said could describe her but what happened yesterday and today could be considered almost out character if she is the person they were talking about.

Now I've become a little bit curious about this, but as I took a quick look to where she should be, all I saw was an empty desk where she should be sitting.
It started to make me wonder how she left the classroom without anyone noticing, but then this did happen yesterday since it looked like she was about to walk out of the classroom then.
An uncomfortable twinge from my left wrist returned my attention back to the front of the class, and it reminded me of where I'd have to go once classes let out.

Several sighs of relief went through the classroom as the bell sounded to signal the end of lessons for the day, and everyone started heading out as did I to make a stop off at the head nurses office before my trip out to whatever shops there were around the area.
The path to the head nurses office was still fresh in my mind since I'd only walked it a few days ago, but my knock on the door was rather brief since I used my left hand and a sudden twinge stopped me in my tracks.
I didn't need to knock again, since a muffled "come in" from the other side of the door told me that my rather brief knock was enough the get his attention.

"What brings you here so soon after your first check-up", the nurse asked as soon as I walked into the office.
"I messed up when I put my right leg on this morning", I said "and my attempt to sort it out went badly as I didn't manage to get it back in which led to it falling off when I was in the cafeteria, and my attempt to get it back in place caused me to fall onto my left hand which is why I'm here since it is still hurting every once in a while".
That grin of his instantly turned into a frown whilst I was talking.
"Do you have a good reason for leaving it this long to come here", the nurse asked.
"I had to make sure the limb had been put back in place properly", I said "and the lunch break had ended by the time I'd done that".
"I could have given you a note to explain why you were late", the nurse said "lets just check that hand along with your legs".

He started off with the hand and wrist first with some of the examination being slightly uncomfortable.
"It doesn't appear to be broken so some support and not doing anything too strenuous should be enough", the nurse said "lets have a look at how those new legs are faring".
Since I hadn't told him that the new legs had been delivered to my room on my first day, he must've been told when he asked why I hadn't gotten my replacement prosthetic legs.
"It was just luck that it was my left hand that took the hit and not my right", I said "I wouldn't have even known if there was a problem if that would've been the case".

The nurse had to think for a second as to why I'd said that, and once he'd remembered he started with the examination of my legs.
"Nothing seems to be amiss there, so all I'll have to do is sort out that arm", the nurse said "and there should be a surprise waiting for you when you get back to your room".
I had to wonder what he meant by that as he went back to my left arm, since I wasn't expecting anything else to be delivered.

"Something seems to have changed with you", the nurse said as he was sorting out my left arm "your tone of voice was rather blunt during your initial visit and now it sounds pretty much normal".
"It probably has something to do with what happened yesterday", I said "I ran, or maybe I should say encountered a girl from my class in the library and I snapped at her for no reason except that I was still hacked off about something that happened in class that morning, and I've been regretting my actions for most of today".
"I'm sure that you'll be able to sort that out", the nurse said.
"I can't be certain about that", I said "every time I've been looking at her today it looks like she wants to be somewhere else that isn't where I am at that time".
"Who's the lucky girl", the nurse asked with his usual grin plastered on his face.
"I don't know her name", I said "her hairstyle is unusual as it covers most of the right side of her face".

Once again my words wiped the grin off his face.
"You could have dealt with that a bit better", the nurse said "especially with someone like Hanako".
Now it was my turn to have a change of expression, but it was more of shock then the 'I'm not impressed' expressions the nurse was showing.
"I think she was the one who sorted out my leg in the cafeteria after I'd lost my balance", I said "at least I think it was her considering what some students said".
"That would be considered out of character for her", the nurse said "as well as that encounter if she was the one who approached you".
I only nodded to confirm what he said about the first encounter.
"I'm sure that you'll be able to sort this out, but it'll most likely take some time", the nurse said while he finished placing some kind of brace over the bandages on my left arm "that should sort that out. Just remember not to do anything strenuous with that hand".

I nodded to acknowledge what he had said and headed for the door, only for the door to fly open and hit my left wrist extremely hard.
"Don't you know how to knock", the nurse asked "or did you think that you'd walk in on a show".
"Asshole", the twin pigtailed girl shouted "you said that you wasn't expecting anyone to turn up".
"Things can change unexpectedly like what just happened", the nurse said with a frown which changed to a grin "but you keep on falling for the same tricks and I think you hit what I'd just sorted out with the door".
The girl suddenly noticed that I was actually standing near her, and that I was experiencing quite a bit of pain in one area of my left arm.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry", the girl said with obvious concern etched on her face "I hope I haven't done any more damage".
"I don't think you have, Emi", the nurse said "he would still be in pain and I strapped that up pretty well".
He was correct since the pain had subsided to almost nothing, and I thought that I shouldn't be an ass this time.
"Maybe I should have walked out backwards", I said "at least then if the door had opened unexpectedly, I wouldn't have experienced any pain".
The expressions of the two people were as different as chalk and cheese since the nurse was grinning as he knew about my impervious to pain right hand, and Emi was looking... well... the only way I can describe it is dumbstruck.

"I'm sorry, it's just that sounded almost like something a friend of mine would say", Emi said "but with a blunter tone of voice".
That friend of hers must be a very... unique person.
"I'd better get going since I'm just holding up your examination", I said "and I need to find a decent shop since I've got to get some supplies for lunch making".
"There's a convenience store in the town at the bottom of the hill", Emi said "and the track and field club are always looking for some good runners".
"I would if I could", I said "but I don't have the necessary equipment and I wasn't into running before I came here".
I tapped one of my limbs to make her aware that I was in the league as her, but without the same prosthetics as she had on.

With that said, I departed the nurses office whilst acknowledging Emi for the information and headed out of the auxiliary building and towards the school gates.
It wasn't that hard to start heading in the correct direction once I'd gotten outside the school grounds... at least I think I was heading in the right direction since I was going downhill, but the sight of what could represent civilisation told me that I must be going the right way.
Since I hadn't been given a more precise location for the convenience store, it took a lot of blind walking to actually find it.

I felt like I was on more familiar ground once I'd walked into the convenience store, so I grabbed one of the well used baskets and headed in to search for anything I could use for making lunches.
My search was partly hindered by holding the basket with my left hand and the crowds, but my aimless walking around eventually gifted me with a moderately filled basket along with a slightly uncomfortable wrist.
There were a few more items I needed before I could check out, but as I turned the corner into the aisle I needed to go down a familiar dark haired figure appeared and looked to have froze in fright most likely because of my presence.
Either karma has got it in for me after what happened yesterday, or I must be really lucky to have actually seen her three times today.

What I needed to get from this aisle was close to where I was standing so I went to get what I needed, but I kept an ear open as I turned since I heard a female voice calling her and asking if everything was all right.
At least this encounter is giving me the opportunity to hear her voice, which I hadn't been able to before since she hadn't uttered a word.
Now I just need to get one more thing and... rice since you can't have a lunch without rice balls.
I managed to complete my shopping without any other problems arising, and I leave the convenience store holding four carrier bags in my right hand and my school bag now over my left shoulder.

Hanako and her blonde haired companion had left a little while before I did, and I could still see them heading back to Yamaku from where I'm standing so I decided to sort out everything in the bags so I could carry the lighter items in my left hand.
Once I'd completed my brief item organisation, I began my final preparations to head back to Yamaku only to be stopped by an unfamiliar bulge in my school bag.
It turned out that it was just my MP3 player which I felt stupid to have forgotten since I did pack it in there just before I left home to come to Yamaku.
I used to be quite the musician and was in a music club in my old school, but all that was before the accident and I haven't used any of my guitars since I wasn't sure if I could play them with my dead hand which I really didn't ask about.

Since this would keep my mind of my current problems for the walk back up the hill, I set everything up, placed the player back into my schoolbag and headed back to Yamaku with shopping bags in tow.
One problem I did have with this kind of situation is that I would start singing whatever song was playing, and it took a lot of biting my lip to keep myself from singing only to let rip once I was heading up the hill.
There wasn't any point it checking to see if there was anyone around who could hear that, since I was probably singing loud enough for it to be heard from within the walls of Yamaku.
When I got back to Yamaku, I decided to just head back to my room in an attempt to avoid any attention my singing brought.

As I reached the door to my room, I noticed a rather sizeable package left near it which must be the 'surprise' the nurse said would be waiting for me.
Because my hands were still laden with shopping bags, I decided to get them into my room first before I turned my attention to that package.
It turns out that the package was rather heavy which did upset my left hand and wrist a bit, but then I can start taking things easy on my left hand tomorrow.
Once I'd gotten all the food packed away, I went back to the package which I'd placed on my bed to keep it out of the way.

The first thing I noticed was that the package had been sent by the same company that made my prosthetics, and that if I was reading it right had been sent out this morning for delivery this afternoon.
When I opened the package, I found that it contained another set of prosthetics similar to those that Emi had on, but I really didn't need these as running wasn't something I really did before plus I only went as far as learning how to walk on these things, so I packed them back up and put them somewhere out of the way that wasn't on my bed.
As I returned to the beanbag that I'd forgotten to put away because of my forgetfulness, I suddenly remembered that I had been thinking about not scaring Hanako too much that I hadn't thought about anything beyond that.

If you took the scars out of the equation a few single words that could describe her would be pretty and attractive, although any word that goes into those realms would fit.
Another way I could describe her is as an angel that has had her wings horrifically clipped, and that would probably be the start of things.
Whichever way you slice it, I'm not really sure if I'll be able to repair the damage I caused her yesterday.
There was what happened in the cafeteria during lunch which I was at a loss to figure out, unless she thought that she'd be able to get close whilst I was more focused on my left hand so she could do her good deed for the day.
The nurse might be right when he said that I'd be able to patch things up, but with everything I'd witnessed today I couldn't be too sure.

I shouldn't be negative about all this since there's still a chance that I'd come out of this smelling of roses, or something else I'd rather not mention.
At least I'll now be able to make my own lunches instead of having to depend of the cafeteria, but it might give me an opportunity to get closer to Hanako since I didn't catch her in the cafeteria the previous two days.
Then again it might either backfire or I might not be able to get any closer then I already am.
It's just a bridge that I'll have to cross when I get to it.

Now then, it's time to get dinner sorted, and no games this time since I really don't want to end up having another unusual dream.

---------------------------------------

The name if this chapter was more based on that now removed dream sequence, but I couldn't be bothered to change it once I'd decided to give it the axe.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Tue Dec 25, 2012 7:16 pm
by Mirage_GSM
So... He fell down and while he blinked someone fixed his prosthetic for him? Without him noticing?
That friend of hers must be a very... unique person.
Yes, she must be unique, if she would say the same things he was saying ^^°

And who sent him the running prosthetics? Those are expensive...

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:35 pm
by demonix
Mirage_GSM wrote:So... He fell down and while he blinked someone fixed his prosthetic for him? Without him noticing?
Excuse me while I pinch myself as I expected a slightly harsher response to that scene considering who the other party was.

When that scene was conceived in my head the hand injury when he was trying to break his fall wasn't even there since all there was in that scene was that he fell over and when he turned around he sees Hanako trying to put the leg back on.
Since that wouldn't have been something that Hanako would do, I added the not so happy about waiting in line student along with the injury which was to keep him distracted whilst the other party came in and put the leg back in place and ran away after she'd realised what she'd done which (I just put it that Hanako was in the cafeteria at the time sorting out her lunch and was witness to the scene at the counter and she focused her attention on him so much that her mind disregarded everything around her (I think it would be like suffering from tunnel vision for a short while) until after she'd put his leg back on which is when her flight response kicked in and she ran away.
That is something I might expand on in a few chapters time.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:24 pm
by demonix
After a lot of thinking and a real pain trying to get my tenses correct, I've finally gotten the next chapter finished.

Some of this chapter consists of a whatif scenario I was thinking about after I got back into writing this story as I wanted the apology scene to be just between the two of them (since Hanako is involved, I started to think of something she might do when she has nothing to do so I decided that she might have found a place on the school grounds that nobody frequents where she goes to read when the weather is good).

Some parts might be rough around the edges, and there's one part where I've had to stretch reality (or time actually) at one point but I think I've gotten most of it correct (I had to make a few quick tweaks of which one was to make clear absolutely clear that the character can write with both hands).

Now I've cleared up the details I wanted to make absolutely clear, it's time for the old copy and paste.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Making Amends

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest where everyone is doing whatever they want, but I lying in my bed partly thinking about what happened during the week and partly thinking about what I should be doing besides growing roots into the mattress.
I could head home for the day to check the mailbox, but it took at least two hours to get here by car so doing the same trip twice on public transport would take longer at least if I have to do the whole trip by bus so I wouldn't have that much time to rest or do anything else when I'm there.
There is still some of the town near here to investigate, but then I haven't really looked around the grounds of the school since all I've been doing is walking to the main school building and back here.

Since it was the easiest thing to do, I decided to walk around the areas of the school I hadn't been yet so I tossed the covers to one side, put on a fresh pair of socks and slipped on my prosthetic legs, but my mind kept on wandering into what happened during the week.
Hanako was still a mystery to me as I hasn't seen that much of her after that time in the convenience store, but that was only because I was focusing more on my school work and only saw her walking into the classroom once after that.
There wasn't any lasting damage to my hand after that fall on Wednesday as the nurse sent me to the local hospital for an x-ray just to be sure, even though the pain had subsided and there wasn't any sign of swelling and I had to depend on my right hand for writing anything because of how my left hand was bandaged.

As I started getting dressed, my attention was drawn back to the box that contained that unwanted gift I'd received on Wednesday and as it turned out, they were made at the same time my new standard prosthetic limbs as the cost for them had been factored into the budget for my replacement limbs, but they weren't ready to be sent out for a few days after and the nurse was informed when he called to check on what was happening with the replacement limbs.
Another thing that got my back up was how much stuff I didn't have set aside to sent here actually ended up getting packed and brought here which included a few of the instruments I hadn't used since the accident.

I also had to wonder if there was any end to what seemed to be a bottomless pit of money coming from my parents life insurance policies, since after that time in the hospital when the representatives from the company that managed the policies told me not to worry about anything apart from getting back on my feet, it feels like everything they've done was expensive with paying off the mortgage on the house and transferring ownership to me being the first with the fees for coming here to finish off my mandatory education and now the addition of the running prosthetics being amongst the other decisions they've made that feel expensive.

Since the weather looked to be pretty decent, I decided to forgo wearing any jackets and opted for a white short sleeved t-shirt along with a pair of black jogging pants since it would be unlikely that I'd run into anyone and have to explain the scar on my right arm.
With my clothing preparations now complete, I grabbed something I could class as breakfast and headed out the door to start my exploration of the school grounds.
The sun was shining and there didn't seem to be a cloud in the sky when I walked out the door of the dormitory, and I started to wonder which way to go first on my exploration finally deciding to follow the wall of the dormitory building until I reached the back of it.

The sounds of activity that were most likely coming from the track started to fade as I started to walk towards the back of the dorm building, and an area that looked to be have a few trees in some places and a lot in others was starting to come into view.
Now that I had an actual direction to head in, I left the safety of the dormitory wall and headed towards my first area of exploration.
Those trees looked like they are a nice place to stay away from the masses, and it looks like I wasn't the only one who had thought about that as I could see what looked like someone sitting by one of the trees in one of the substantially wooded areas.

I decided to head towards this person using as much of a stealthy approach as I could, until I tripped over a rather large tree root sending me to the ground, pulling my right leg off and startling whoever was here at the time.
Getting that leg back in place was a priority but not in the position I'm in at the moment, so I started moving myself into a more suitable position to sort out the leg only to find that the person who was already here is rather familiar.
Hanako. The girl I had a go at in the library on my second day here was sitting on what looked like a blanket with a book in her hands, and had a look on her face that was somewhere between shock and fright.
This has opened up an unexpected box as I can now apologise for being such an ass, but I'm at a bit of a loss as to how to start and I need to get this done quickly as the other party seems to be only a few steps away from running away.

"I'm sorry for what I said in the library", I blurted out "it was inappropriate, and I shouldn't have had a go at you because of what someone else did".
That was true since I might have responded differently if what happened in the classroom didn't happen.
My rather hurried apology seems to have calmed her down, and... is she smiling now.

"Th-this is a pretty n-nice place", Hanako said "I-I always come h-here to re-read on clear d-days since no-nobody comes around h-here".
"Except for nosy transfer students", I said which resulted in Hanako shaking her head.
"No-not really", Hanako said "y-your the first person I-I've seen come here si-since I found this place".

I looked back in the direction I'd come from whilst I was sorting out the limb that had come off, and could just about see a second building to the right of the one I'd come from which must be the girls' dormitory.
Since I had a bit of support thanks to the tree, I managed to get the limb back in place and thankfully the sock had only slipped ever so slightly which was easy to correct without having to actually look at the leg.

"I-is everything all right", Hanako said "I m-mean with your h-hand".
Now that was something I didn't expect to hear, but it is a valid question for her to ask since she must have witnessed it and I did have to leave earlier then usual on Friday to go for that x-ray.
"It's back to normal now", I said "it turns out that it was just a bad knock".

That put her more at ease then my apology, but before I could say or do anything else she moved the blanket around to make some extra sitting space and patted it almost inviting me to sit next to her which I was more then happy to accept.
I sat down in the vacant space that was prepared for me as Hanako went back to her book, but I was thankful that I was sitting to her right since she wouldn't be able to see the scar on my right arm and I won't have to explain what it is along with what damage is underneath it.

"Hanako", Hanako said thinking that I didn't know her name "I-I-I'm Hanako".
"I found that out after what happened in the cafeteria", I said.
Those words were immediately followed by an aura of embarrassment coming from my left.
"You did manage to do something that those around me at the time didn't", I said "I should be grateful for that even if it was something that you wouldn't have done".
That was something that I was happy to admit, and I think that she didn't feel that embarrassed about what I'd said before.

Now that I've gotten comfortable, I could see what Hanako meant as the view was pretty nice even with the buildings in the distance.
This is something I haven't done in forever as I've never been that interested in girls, but I feel more relaxed then I thought that I would and I'm feeling a bit tired even though I've gotten a good nights sleep.
Eventually, I got way too relaxed and I ended up falling asleep for no reason.

"P-pl-please wake up", Hanako said in a part panicked part pleading tone.
Her shaking me along with constantly asking me to wake up finally got me back into the waking world, but something dropping down onto my head pulled me the rest of the way out to be greeted with a sound I didn't want to hear.
The cloud free sky I saw before had vanished to be replaced by a sky covered in grey clouds along with an extremely heavy downpour.
From the way she's been reacting, I'd guess that Hanako didn't expect this change in the weather either since there wasn't any signs that any rain would be coming when I left the dorm or when I started heading towards the trees.

"You could have just left before it got this heavy", I said "I could have gotten the blanket back to you somehow".
"Bu-but what about yo-you", Hanako said "I-I would hate my-myself if I'd left you h-here and you'd caught a co-cold or worse".
I decided not to start a debate on this since she was correct that I could end up catching a cold, and that is something I wouldn't want to have at the start of my second week.
"I think what we should do is to get to a drier location as quickly as we can", I said "there is one place I think we can get to if we run".
This is probably where those other prosthetics would come in handy, but Hanako does agree with my course of action even though I'm the only one who knows where we'll be heading.

Once we got near the edge of the trees we are under, I looked towards the boys' dormitory and a door I managed to catch sight of as I was heading towards the trees.
As soon as I'd caught sight of our intended destination, I looked towards Hanako who had gotten her stuff sorted out rather quickly just nodded to confirm that she was ready, and I took a deep breath before saying "now" which was the queue for the both of us to start running towards the more drier destination.
It felt like we'd been running for half an hour once we reached the door as we were wet enough to have been walking through a less heavier downpour for about as long, but the good thing was the door wasn't secured as it was ever so slightly ajar.

We quickly walked through the now open door which I closed after we got inside, but the sound of the door shutting didn't go down well with Hanako who just looked at me with what I could describe as a fearful expression on her face.
"You couldn't have gotten to your room without getting wetter, and I would feel bad if you ended up catching a cold because of it", I said keeping my voice as low as possible "you can at least dry out, warm yourself up with a shower and wait until this downpour has ended".
Hanako didn't seem to be happy with that, but I hadn't mentioned everything.
"There isn't anyone in the other rooms", I said "so there won't be any chance of anyone walking into the shower apart from me, but I'll be using another cubicle".
Mentioning that helped bring Hanako around to my idea as she nodded in agreement.

I started heading towards the stairs as Hanako followed keeping just behind me, but she stopped for a few seconds as another student who was wearing really thick lensed glasses came from the staircase and headed in the direction we'd just come from and as we reached the first floor a loud voice was heard complaining about the closed door, so we decided to quicken our pace and got to my room without coming across any other students.
At least I had prepared for an eventuality as coming back soaked to the skin as I'd left a few towels near the door, so I picked up two towels and handed one to Hanako whilst I started on drying my shoes as much as I could along with the rest of my clothes so I didn't make a wet mess on the floor.

"Wh-what are we going t-to do about the sh-shower", Hanako asked.
"I'll go in first and sort myself out once I'm in the cubicle", I said "I'll cordon off a bit of my room so you can get out of those clothes and you can use my bath robe so you can keep covered up until your clothes have dried".
Hanako stood like a statue near the now closed door as I started sorting everything out starting with getting a few larger towels along with my bath robe, and then turned my attention to making an improvised area for Hanako to get changed as well as setting up a place where we can hang our clothes to dry.

Once I was happy with my work, I sorted out some dry clothes for myself to change into when I was done with my shower and the washing stuff the both of us would need and then returned to where Hanako was standing.
"I hope that's sufficient for you to get changed behind", I said as I handed her the bath robe and towel "I'll leave these with you and I'll put the rest of the stuff into one of the cubicles".
She mutters an extremely stuttered thank you before heading towards the makeshift changing room while I headed for the shower room, making sure that I closed the door behind me so that no curious people would be able to peep on the girl changing out of her clothes in there.

The cubicles in the shower room were well separated so nobody could look over from one to the other, but there was still the doors that can cause a problem although I wouldn't be peeping over and I don't think Hanako would do that either.
I deposited the remaining items that Hanako would need into the second cubicle, and walked back to the first which had been set up specifically for me with a special seat so I could do most things in the shower without being on the floor.
With the doors to the cubicle now closed and everything in it's place, I started removing my still soaking clothes but thankfully my prosthetic limbs escaped unscathed.

As I waited for the water to heat up, I heard a door open and shut shortly followed by the door to the shower opening and closing along with footsteps that headed towards the second cubicle.
The water has heated up by the time I returned my attention back to the shower head I was holding, so I started on my shower using a few unusual moves to get at the more awkward places whilst the shower in the cubicle next to mine started up.
If washing was a task that had been made that bit harder then drying has been made just as hard, but I got around it this time by drying what was left of my legs along with what parts of my body I could dry before putting another fresh pair of socks over the stumps and putting my prosthetics back on to deal with the rest of my body, which is something I didn't do at home since I have other methods for drying myself.

With my body now dry, I started to get into my second set of clothes for the day which if you excluded the underwear consisted of another of my white t-shirts along with a blue jumper and black shorts that I usually wear if I'm not going out on a certain day.
Now that any trace of that downpour had been eradicated from my body, I took my wet clothes along with the towel and everything else I'd brought with me except for the two bottles I'd left in the second cubicle back to my room and since Hanako was still in the shower I could spend some time getting something to eat ready.

Once I got back to my room, I placed the wet clothes and towel along with the other towels in with the rest of my dirty laundry and started looking through my food store with the first thing coming into view being some instant noodle bowls.
Not wanting to have to dig any further into this cupboard for food options, I decided to stick with that first item I came upon and pulled out two instant noodle bowl placing both onto the counter.
This is quite a novel thing to do since I prefer to do my own meals without relying on this instant stuff too much, but needs must and I think Hanako will be coming out of the shower in a bit.
All this needs is a drop of hot water and a few minutes before everything is ready to eat, but I only got as far as pouring the water before the door opened and a gasp was uttered by the person walking in.
I turned around to find Hanako standing near the now closed door looking in my general direction, with the bath robe she's wearing wrapped tightly around her body more likely to cover up as much of her body as possible and not an attempt to show off her figure.

"I guess that it must be unnerving actually seeing them for real", I said thinking that her reaction was because she'd seen my prosthetic limbs for the first time.
"That wa-wasn't it", Hanako said "I didn't know that yo-you played some instruments as w-well".
"I used to, but I haven't recently", I said realising that she was looking at the group of instruments and not me "those weren't even supposed to have been brought out here".
There are reasons why I haven't started playing again, but I really didn't want to discuss them now and it looks like Hanako has become transfixed on one of the guitars.
This is something I didn't expect would happen, but I am getting a bit uneasy as she picked up the guitar she was looking at and brought it over to me.

The look on her face is telling me that she wants me to play something with it, but it wasn't the lack of an amp that was stopping me from playing anything.
As I slipped the strap over my head the more obvious issue that was stopping me from playing this along with any of the other guitars that ended up here, since the damaged nerve in my right arm meant that I had no feeling in my right hand so there was no way I could know what I was doing without looking at the fingerboard, and even then I wouldn't be sure if I'm using the correct amount of pressure on the strings or even touching the string in the case of my pinkie finger.
I was disappointed that only the lefty models I had were mistakenly taken with the rest of my luggage, but now wasn't the time to be wondering about the what ifs as there's a girl standing here waiting for me to strum a note that I can't strum since I don't have a pick along with the lack of feeling in my right hand, so the only thing I can do is to go back to my singing.

.

I wasn't sure if that was my best rendition of the first verse and chorus of yume no tsubasa, but that didn't seem to matter to the girl who was partly mesmerised by my singing and also disappointed when I'd finished since I hadn't played a single note of the guitar I'm holding.
"I-I thought that you wo-would play something", Hanako said.
"I haven't used this in around two years, and the strings do look like they need changing plus I don't have a pick", I said "also I think that the food I was sorting out just before you walked in will be about ready by now".
Most of that is true as the strings do look a bit dodgy which would mean that any notes played won't sound right, but those noodle bowls must be about ready by now.

It was just about ready once I'd put the guitar back where I'd originally put it, and it gave me about enough time to make some tea.
That was about as easy as getting these noodle bowls ready, but Hanako seemed to be taken aback by what I'm doing.
"You di-didn't have to go th-this far for me", Hanako said.
"I'd be a complete moron if I didn't", I said "since you'll be here until your clothes have dried out and that will take a while".
I was speaking the truth since it would take a few hours for her clothes to dry even with the benefit of a bit of extra heat to help.
At least the tea and noodles are now ready, and all I need now to make this a bit better is to find something to watch.

.

"Well Boyard, are they right?"
"Right! There'd be more chance of one of my tigers becoming a vegetarian. Monique, the tigers head if you please!"

The dark skinned woman turned what looked like a metal tigers head, and all there was to do is wait as the gears started turning before it was confirmed that the team would get the gold or not.
Even Hanako had come out from behind her book which she started reading a little bit before the ordeals started, and had been kept well protected by several carrier bags which meant that she either part planned for rain or this is what she always does when she goes out with a book in tow.
I was feeling tense even though I'd seen this episode, but it all came to an end when the clunking ended and the tinkling of coins started signalling the start of the mad dash to grab as many gold coins as possible from the small cage that the coins fall into and head out of the treasure room, repeating that process as many time as they could before the bell that signalled the closing of the treasure room door rang.

Once the door to the treasure room had closed, the team looked to be rather happy about the haul of gold coins that had obtained in the time they had but unfortunately they didn't get enough to top the table.
After the episode had ended, I extracted myself from the beanbag and went to change the disc for something else.
Hanako looked to be better at handling the beanbag then I am since she managed to get herself into what looked like a reasonable position for reading then I've been able to manage over the past week.
Not wanting to have Hanako deal with another bout of terrors at the hands of Boyard, I decided to chose something else from my collection to watch but then only one fort Boyard disc was packed in with my baggage which was my fault on this occasion.

"You di-didn't have to change what you was watching be-because of me", Hanako said.
"I only had that one disc with just that one episode on it", I said "I could only bring so much and I ended up forgetting to pack the rest of the set".
I've actually watched most of those episodes so many times that I end up getting bored watching them, so I wasn't really that mad when I found that I'd forgotten them.
After digging through what had been packed, I decided on a series that was a bit older and I hadn't watched that much.
This one was a bit more taxing with a quiz element along with an on the edge ending, but by the start of the second episode I started feeling tired again even though I'd been getting a decent nights sleep for the past few months.
I kept fighting the impulse to fall asleep, but resistance was most definitely futile for the second time today as sleep claimed me about halfway into the second episode.

.

There wasn't a sound to be heard when I woke up neither from my TV, outside where it was still raining before I fell asleep or from the person I thought is still sitting beside me.
Something did feel odd, and as I opened my eyes I found out that it was because I had been covered by one of the blankets from my bed, the TV had been switched off and the teacup along with the bowl that used to contain noodles were also missing.
After I removed the blanket and got back on my feet I knew who had done this as Hanako along with her clothes had now gone with the area I'd set up to allow her to change now dismantled, and my bath robe now folded up and placed on my bed.
When I looked out of the window, the rain that had caught both of us unaware was now a distant memory as the sun is shining again and I can see at least seven people running around outside.

A quick check of the alarm clock told me that it had gone four which meant that it has been at least five hours since I went out and came upon Hanako in her reading area in the small forest behind the dorm buildings.
As I looked towards the food storage and preparation area, I discovered what had happened to the teacups as they are now neatly placed onto the counter with the bowls now occupying space in the bin.
Next to the cups is a small folded sheet of paper that contained a note from the girl who was here only a little while ago in my eyes.

The rain stopped a little while after you fell asleep and my clothes were dry enough to wear about half an hour later, but I was unable to wake you up so I sorted out as much as could before I left.

Below that were several scribbled out attempts of a continuation, but there was nothing further to read as those continuations couldn't even be read and Hanako had given up with adding anything else and just put her name below the scribbled out words.
I could only guess that she was trying to express her gratitude for what I'd done or something along those lines and couldn't find a way to write it down, but I could also be miles off the mark.
This piece of paper was something I felt couldn't be thrown away, so I started looking through all the drawers and the unpacked boxes hoping that what I thought I'd packed had actually been packed.

After at least half an hours searching and about the same amount of time cursing myself for not packing that item, I finally found it hiding in a corner of one of the drawers I thought I'd looked through completely.
It was a book of sorts that my mother gave to me just before I started high school to place precious mementos like letters from girls I liked, but this letter doesn't factor into any of the things my mother thought of although it is going to be the first item to be placed inside its covers.
With the letter now in a safer place, I placed the book somewhere where I can get at it a bit quicker the next time and let out a sigh of relief as I'd finally made amends for my actions during the week.

Just for one person though, as I wouldn't be doing the same with the other person I had a go at on the same day.
As most of the clean up had already been done, all I had to do myself is to remove the disc and put the spare beanbag back into its storage box whilst placing the blanket back on my bed alongside the bath robe.
With what could be called a clean up now done, I started to wonder what I could do with what remained of the day.
Whilst I considered my options, I started going through my supplies to find something to eat later on.

Apart from those instant noodle bowls which are in plentiful supply, the remainder of my food supplies along with those for lunch are starting to dwindle with a guestimate that the general food supplies will be exhausted by the middle of the week.
I don't think that the convenience store will be open at this time, so I'll have to deal with that tomorrow after classes have ended.
Dinner for tonight is going a simple affair just to keep the drain on supplies to an absolute minimum with the last of my lunch supplies also placed onto the counter ready to be turned into a meal later on, and with all that done I changed from the shorts I'm currently wearing into a pair of dark blue jogging pants and a rain coat.

With a few hours left before I need to consider starting on whatever homework I had left and get dinner on the go, I decided to continue with my exploration of the school grounds.
This time I'll stick with the more common areas on the grounds, but I hope that someone else doesn't try to convince me to join a club whilst I'm out.

I might be thinking about some things differently now, but that doesn't mean that I'll go back on my not joining a club stance.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 8:05 pm
by Oddball
Whoa. Go back and reread that stuff. You've got some serious run-on sentences there. Many of them could be cut down into three or four sentences and would make reading it much easier. After a while, I stop paying attention to what's being said and just wonder when you're going to stop and take a breath.
I also had to wonder if there was any end to what seemed to be a bottomless pit of money coming from my parents life insurance policies, since after that time in the hospital when the representatives from the company that managed the policies told me not to worry about anything apart from getting back on my feet, it feels like everything they've done was expensive with paying off the mortgage on the house and transferring ownership to me being the first with the fees for coming here to finish off my mandatory education and now the addition of the running prosthetics being amongst the other decisions they've made that feel expensive.
There is no reason at all that this needs to be a single sentence. None.

Also, the shower? He's mentioning taking a shower, the chance that he might walk in on her, and even taking a shower himself in the same room, and she doesn't immediately panic and run away?

Who is this girl and what did she do with the real Hanako?

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:53 pm
by SemisoftCheese
demonix wrote: With the letter now in a safer place, I placed the book somewhere where I can get at it a bit quicker the next time and let out a sigh of relief as I'd finally made amends for my actions during the week.
Whew. There's a lot of angry stuff in this thread. I'm not the greatest writer around here, but I did spot some things that could be fixed.

One of the wisest pieces of advice I've ever received as a writer is that while you know what's happening, your reader certainly doesn't. And if you don't let them know, they're going to get bored and walk away. Your text is formatted in a very difficult to read format--long, run-on sentences with minimal punctuation and breaks. It's really, really hard to make that kind of structure work. If you look at the last sentence, for instance, I have no idea what you really wanted to express in that sentence. Is it the fact that your letter is in a safer place? Or is it that you want to get it quicker next time? Or that you've made amends? Or is it all three? Is one more important than the other?

Finally, on a "don't take this personally" note, you seem pretty defensive about your work. In this thread, a lot of the "respected" posters--scissorlips, oddball, mirage, have taken their time to comment on your work in an attempt to help you.

They're not out here to get you, and I'm pretty sure they don't get any sadistic pleasure out of criticizing your work. Even if what they say has a harsh ring to it, they have good intentions and lots of literary experience behind them. Even if you don't agree with them, it's probably not a good idea to go at them with a knife-sharp reply. They're here to help you, and make you a better writer. It wouldn't you do any harm just to say "thanks" or acknowledge their point a bit.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:57 pm
by demonix
I'm still trying to keep sentences down to about two lines, but if I feel that something needs to be in one sentence and it goes over my line limits then it has to (as long as I can get the punctuation correct).
Oddball wrote:Also, the shower? He's mentioning taking a shower, the chance that he might walk in on her, and even taking a shower himself in the same room, and she doesn't immediately panic and run away?

Who is this girl and what did she do with the real Hanako?
Well isn't that what happens after coming inside after walking around in the rain.

Also, if I got everything correct from the game, the facilities (like the bathroom) aren't directly connected to the rooms and are shared with the other occupants in that section and that there would be separate cubicles (with high walls between each one) for each person with some kind of door so you wouldn't be able to see most of whoever is inside.

In that part of the chapter (just in case it wasn't that clear) he lets Hanako change out of her clothes in his room and gave her his bath robe to use for the duration (just to make it clear it goes down to a little bit above her feet, so the scars of her body would be covered by it) while he goes to change in the shower cubicle making sure to leave any necessary shower stuff in another cubicle for her (he starts in the shower first while Hanako comes in a little while later, and he leaves first but wouldn't have been able to see Hanako as the cubicle he was using is nearer the door).

That chapter was mainly to focus on him trying to make amends for the things that he's done before, and his finding out a little bit about Hanako.
SemisoftCheese wrote:
demonix wrote: With the letter now in a safer place, I placed the book somewhere where I can get at it a bit quicker the next time and let out a sigh of relief as I'd finally made amends for my actions during the week.
Whew. There's a lot of angry stuff in this thread. I'm not the greatest writer around here, but I did spot some things that could be fixed.

One of the wisest pieces of advice I've ever received as a writer is that while you know what's happening, your reader certainly doesn't. And if you don't let them know, they're going to get bored and walk away. Your text is formatted in a very difficult to read format--long, run-on sentences with minimal punctuation and breaks. It's really, really hard to make that kind of structure work. If you look at the last sentence, for instance, I have no idea what you really wanted to express in that sentence. Is it the fact that your letter is in a safer place? Or is it that you want to get it quicker next time? Or that you've made amends? Or is it all three? Is one more important than the other?

Finally, on a "don't take this personally" note, you seem pretty defensive about your work. In this thread, a lot of the "respected" posters--scissorlips, oddball, mirage, have taken their time to comment on your work in an attempt to help you.

They're not out here to get you, and I'm pretty sure they don't get any sadistic pleasure out of criticizing your work. Even if what they say has a harsh ring to it, they have good intentions and lots of literary experience behind them. Even if you don't agree with them, it's probably not a good idea to go at them with a knife-sharp reply. They're here to help you, and make you a better writer. It wouldn't you do any harm just to say "thanks" or acknowledge their point a bit.
I've only been doing this writing thing for just over a year now (I started working on lost memories in February and posted it here in March once I'd finished the prologue and the first chapter) and I'd still call myself an extreme novice although I have improved my punctuation (trust me, it was a lot worse back when I was a just starting fan fiction writer), but I'm still just an army of one with no proof reader or anyone else to help beyond any comments here (if there's anything that does need fixing, then I fix it) although I have started to check through my writing in case anything needs altering (oh great, this just became another extended sentence).

As for that letter, you got the idea behind that sentence right the first time.

And now it's back to the story which has taken a while only because of the amount of time I have left each evening to work on it (I could have posted it yesterday, but my internet went tits up for the whole day (I could access some sites, but not a lot of others which included this one) with full service only coming back 24 hours ago from when I'm typing this part), and yes, I did decide to have the resident detention expert come charging in part way through, but I decided to go about it a bit differently.

And without further ado, the next chapter in this little tale (just don't expect 100% perfection even though I have been procrastinating on this chapter for a while).

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting Back On Track

The sound of my alarm clock echoes through my room on the first day of my second week at Yamaku.
Switching of the alarm and getting out of bed are the first thing I have to do, but looking at the stack of wet clothes and towels reminded me that I should get some laundry done soon before this room starts smelling of damp clothes.
I'm not sure if I've got anything in here to do all that laundry, so that'll be something I should get when I go do my shopping later on today.
With everything that I need to get done or to buy now sorted in my mind, I put my prosthetics on, got into my uniform and started getting everything ready for the day.

I'm starting to feel more at ease on my walk between the dorm and school buildings mostly because it's now my second week and the small amount of exploration, but I think some of the reason behind my ease now would be because of what happened yesterday with Hanako.
There hasn't been any time in my life that I've been that relaxed around a girl, but most of the girls I've known were in the club I was in at my old school.
Most of the students who are heading in the same direction are talking about today's lessons, club they'd be attending after lessons are done and friends who hadn't bothered crawling out of their beds and would likely be late to class if they didn't get moving in the next ten minutes or so.
Not that I needed any motivation at around this time since if I knew anyone here that well and they came to my room to make sure I was awake, all they would see is me putting the finishing touches to my lunch.

Cooking is at least one thing I'm confident that I can't mess up as I've had over a year where I've been doing all that stuff myself, along with the odd attempt when my parents hadn't had the time to get anything ready before they went to work and I wasn't in the mood to order take out.
Only five people were in the classroom when I got there, but the "wahaha~" I just heard echoing down the corridor meant that the count is about to increase by two if you exclude me.
The rest of the class had decided to turn up just before the bell, all except for Hanako who walked in about ten minutes after the bell and walked to her seat with nobody taking the slightest note of her arrival.
I decided to keep most of my focus on the lesson, but I'd already gone through this part before so I can relax a little bit and make a list of what I'd need to get when I head down to the convenience store this afternoon.

My full concentration went back to the front of the class once the second lesson started, but it ended up being broken when I noticed a note written in pink ink has been placed on my desk with the author obviously waiting for my response.

[What was you working on? It certainly didn't seem to have anything to do with the lesson.]

Oh great, I've now got this to deal with.

[It's none of your business. Besides I need to concentrate more on this lesson then I did the last lesson.]

Another piece of paper made its way to my desk shortly after I returned the piece with the original note on it.

[Why?]

[Because it's none of your business, or would you rather I made my point verbally.]

And another piece of paper made an appearance on my desk telling me that this isn't something I'll be done with quickly.

[Shicchan said that it isn't right for someone not to concentrate fully on the lesson.]

[Because I'd already covered that particular topic at my old school, so I didn't need to keep my full attention on what was going on. Besides aren't you not concentrating fully on this lesson by doing this as well as keeping me from not being able to concentrate on the lesson.]

I didn't get any further messages as a figure appeared near the desk of the pink haired one.
"Mikado", the monotone voice that belonged to Mutou said.
"Sir", the pink haired wonder mumbled while trying to consume the pen she's holding.
"When someone says that you should be concentrating on the lesson you should take note", Mutou said "I would rather not have to keep you behind after classes later on this year so you can catch up on what you've missed".
A few muffled giggles emanated from some of the students as Mutou walked back to the front of the classroom, and the pink haired loud mouth had an expression on her face that looked like she had been sucking on a lemon along with a few other sour tasting items.

It didn't take me that long to get back into my stride now that I didn't have any distractions from the pink haired drill monster sitting to my right, but something else started to bug me the closer lunch came.
I'd pretty much stuck to the cafeteria after I started making my own lunch as I didn't want to spend too much time looking around for somewhere else that would be suitable, but now I've been on that exploration around the school grounds I do have a few places I can go to send my lunch packing... down my throat.
The lunch bell chiming through the classroom finally gave everyone else a break from the monotony of learning, but I had to figure out where I'll be going to go for the brief amount of time that is called lunch.

I started packing everything back into my bag, but something out of the corner of my eye caught me by surprise as I looked towards the classrooms main door.
Most of the time that I'd actually noticed, Hanako had always left the classroom but today she's still sitting at her desk going through what looked like her notes from the mornings lessons whilst looking towards the classrooms rear door every few seconds.
The possible reason for her actions became clear as the same blonde haired girl I saw Hanako with in the convenience store last week walked into the classroom through the back door, and seeing her reaction once she knew about her companions presence confirmed why Hanako was still in the classroom even though they could have met up elsewhere or at their final destination.

Not wanting to intrude I decided to head out of the classroom, but Hanako had noticed my departure and looked to say something to her blonde haired companion then turned ever so slightly so she could look at me and beaconed me to come over to where she is in a fashion that would have gone unnoticed if I weren't in the place I currently am in the classroom.
A few seconds is all it took for me to conclude that eating with those two would be better then trying to find a quiet place to eat, so instead of turning to the left at the gap between the third and forth desks I turned to the right which clearly brought a smile to Hanako's face.

"I'd have to guess that the person you wanted to wait for has arrived", the blonde haired girl asked.
"Ye-yes, he has", Hanako said.
Since I've now gotten a better look at Hanako's blonde haired companion from the convenience store, I could see from the cloudiness in her eyes that she must have some sight related problems which would put Hanako at ease as being able to see her scars would be somewhere between rather hard or non existent.
"I didn't expect that Hanako would invite someone to join us", the blonde haired girl said "but I should focus on my introduction and not my expectations. I'm Lilly Satou, pleased to meet you".
"Oh, of course", I said "I'm Shuji Shirakawa".

My introduction only caused Lilly to think about what I'd said for a bit.
"Do you happen to know someone who works here", Lilly asked.
"Not that I'm aware of", I said.
At least that's what I heard from my surviving relatives.
"It's probably a coincidence then", Lilly said "we should get going before the rest of lunch passes us by".
Once those words had been said, Lilly turned around to leave the classroom and Hanako quickly walked up to her right side possibly to help her get around without the need for her cane which I can just about see on top of her bag.

Our journey only took us as far as the second floor, but we had to walk down a few corridors before we arrived at an unassuming door.
Lilly seemed to know her way around this room without the need for her navigation cane as she placed her bag on the left side of the four desks set up in the centre of the room, and then walked over to a cupboard where some tea supplies are kept while Hanako sorted out whatever food they'd brought.
"Do you have any preferences in what you like to drink", Lilly asked.
"No, not really", I said as I placed my bag down on the right side of the group of four desks and started bringing out my lunch.
"We only have tea here and I wouldn't know if you preferred coffee", Lilly said "so I thought I should ask before you got something you don't like".

There wouldn't have been much chance of that happening since I'm not that much of a coffee person, since drinking anything beyond what most call that cheap crap would make me want to hurl.
Hanako walked over to where Lilly is preparing the tea, but as I heard her walk back after a little discussion what followed was the sound of someone falling over coupled with water splashing shortly afterwards.
"I-I'm sorry, I'm so-sorry", Hanako blurted out.
I wasn't really sure what Hanako was apologising for, until I looked at my right arm to find the hand and a bit of the sleeve of my shirt along with that part of the desk covered in tea.

"There's nothing to be sorry for", I said "nothing has been harmed".
"B-b-but y-your hand ha-has been co-covered in t-tea", Hanako said as her panicking has caused her to stammer every other word.
"I said that no harm has been done", I shouted tensing up at the end as I'd started to hate this part of my personality.
I quickly dug out a cloth that I always kept in my schoolbag for times such as this, and wiped the tea from my right hand and the desk ending with the stain on the sleeve of my shirt.
"Shuji is right since no harm seems to have been done even though the way he said it could be classed as harmful", Lilly said as she walked back to the desks and placed the two cups she's holding onto it then collecting the cup Hanako is holding and took it back to be refilled "but I do wonder why there wasn't any audible notices of the water hitting his skin".

It looks like I'll have to let this little kitten out of the bag.
"I was in an... incident a few years ago which damaged the nerves in my right arm", I said "I can still use the hand with a few range of motion problems, but I can't feel and pain or any other touch related sensations".
I demonstrated this to Hanako who hadn't run off to scarper central station after my outburst by touching each finger to the thumb, and no matter how many times I tried I couldn't get the pinky finger to touch the thumb.
During that demonstration I tried to look as apologetic as I could for Hanako so that she didn't end up taking flight because of my stupidity, and it seems to have worked unless she's gotten used to this after the last time, or she's figured out that isn't how I'd normally act or I could be overthinking everything.

Lilly returned to the desks with the third cup now refilled just after Hanako had finished wiping the spilled tea away with the cloth I'd used to clean my hand and shirt off, which she kept a hold on as she walked over to her seat possibly because she feels obligated to get it washed as she was responsible for what happened.
Things calmed down as we started eating, but I had to focus more on the food and not Hanako who is sitting to my left.
"I heard that you had an interesting first few days", Lilly said "and that you have some interesting hidden talents".
"I'm not sure if I could call it interesting", I said between bites and only remembering that Lilly would have heard my impromptu performance on the walk back from the convenience store last week.

"The student council president was in a foul mood last week during a meeting", Lilly said "even though her voice didn't show any signs of that mood".
I'm still confused as to what Lilly is talking about, until someone else breaks her silence.
"I th-think Lilly is talking about what happened i-in class last week", Hanako said.
So megaphone mouth and her silent friend are part of the student council, and considering what Lilly said I can conclude that the one called Shicchan by her loud mouthed translator is the student council president.
"They shouldn't have been trying to pry into my personal life", I said "even if they had to move everything into my room".

Well I doubt that they would have known what was in that box since that was the main point of that rather brief discussion.
"Shizune and Misha did try to get some volunteers to help out", Lilly said "but they didn't get any takers although they did have the nerve to ask if I'd be able to help".
"It would be a given that you wouldn't be able to help", I said "considering your... disability".
"You don't have to be that apprehensive about my disability", Lilly said "but instances like that are the reason why the student council only consists of two members even if those that were asked had been given suitable jobs to do".
"It sound like that is a usual thing that you have to deal with", I said.
"The conflict in the student council only started a few months after Shizune became president", Lilly said "you would probably be surprised that we worked a booth together at the festival just before everything changed".

I decided not to push this matter any further as Lilly did look a bit angered at times when talking about that which made me feel like I was walking into a family matter, and instead went back to eating my lunch.
Hanako looked to be a bit on edge by the way she had every other piece of food halfway between the bento box and her mouth, but that might be because she's wondering if I'm looking directly at her even though the only way I can do that is to turn my head to the left which I'm trying to avoid.
Lilly on the other hand has become a sea of calmness as she goes between eating something from the bento box in front of her and drinking from the cup in what looked like practised motions.
My smaller lunch meant that I'm the first to finish, so I started putting the empty containers and wrapping back into my bag whilst Lilly and Hanako finished off their lunches.

"I didn't expect that you'd have that small a lunch", Lilly said.
"I was running short of supplies and barely had enough to make lunch for today", I said "I've got to go back to town and get some more supplies as this is better then what the cafeteria offers".
"Yes, what is offered at the cafeteria is missing that certain something", Lilly said "it's good that there are other options although those have special diets would have to make do unless they too have other options".
"Li-Lilly", Hanako said after finishing off the rest of her tea "it's nearly time".
"Oh, I guess that discussion in the classroom did take up a bit of out time", Lilly said as she picked up her cup and drunk whatever remained in it "we should clean up and head back to our respective classrooms".

Since I'd already cleared my lunch packaging away, I helped out the girls by putting the tea cups back where Lilly had gotten them from so they could concentrate on packing away their bento boxes.
The last part of our time in this room today is to collect our bags with Lilly removing her navigation cane in the process, and leave with Lilly and Hanako taking the lead with the latter holding onto the former like her life depended on it.
We reached the third floor with relative ease, but our return to our classrooms ended up being delayed a few meters down the third floor landing as an unusual sound which I could only describe as someone running on special prosthetics came to an end as I felt someone run into my back, which ended up with me being in an intimate relationship with the floor.

This situation made me feel like Hayate when he was floored by Himeno, but in that situation they were facing each other and not walking in the same direction with one running and the other walking.
"This calamity has to have been caused by Emi", Lilly said "how many students have you ran into so far this year?"
Emi? That name sounds familiar.
"You make this sound like it's a regular occurrence", the other party in this drama said "it's not like I try to run into anyone who crosses my path".
As does that voice.
"It's the reason why there's no running allowed in the corridors", Lilly said "not everyone in this school is as robust as you are".
"How about ending the conversation and getting off me ", I said "your very heavy".

"No I'm not", Emi said as she put the boot in by kneeing me in the back "I'm a very dainty girl who just happens to be able to run like the wind".
"I don't think that should matter", Lilly said "what matters is that some people might start talking if you remain on top of him for any length of time in general view of those walking by".
"You do have a point", Emi said as she finally got off my back and recognised whose back she's run into "have you had time to think about what I said?"
"And my answer is still the same", I said "I don't have the necessary equipment or abilities".
"I know your lying", Emi said "Nurse told me that the necessary equipment was delivered to you last week".
"Regardless of the fact that I had a set of running blades sent to me last week", I said "it would take me a while to get used to them and they were sent without my consent since I'm not that interested in running".

"You should at least get used to using them, and", Emi said before she was interrupted by the bell "oh crap, I went running and lost track of time, and now teach is gonna have a go at me for coming back late as I have to change".
Emi dashed off, gym uniform and all leaving the three of us standing around with blank expressions on out faces, although Hanako had just stopped hiding behind Lilly at this point.
"We should head back to our classrooms as well", Lilly said "there isn't any meetings today so we should be able to get down to town a bit earlier this time".
Hanako acknowledged what Lilly had told her, and we continued to our respective classrooms with a little stop on the way when we got to the corridor Lilly has to go down to get to her classroom.

The second part of the school day got off to a bad start when Hanako and I walked into the classroom, which had been noticed more by the sole members of the student council then the rest of the class, and triggered a slew of questions from the louder one which ended without answer as the teacher walked in and we headed back to our seats.
That didn't mean the questions had ended for me as I had to put at least twenty notes that had been placed on my desk by the pink haired wonder to one side since I didn't want to answer them, and the teacher agreed with me as well as she walked over to my desk to pick up the small stack of notes and wrote something on one and placed it back on the desk of the sender and depositing the remainder in the bin.

The final bell brought about the usual group sigh of relief, although I knew that there is going to be another hurdle to jump over before I can get out of the classroom.
"So why did you and Hanako walk in together after the bell rang", Misha asked with her voice being loud enough to be heard in the next prefecture.
"That's none of you business", I said "what I do with my free time is of my concern only and right now I have somewhere else I need to go".
I walked straight out of the classroom after saying that as a few of the students applauded my actions, but as I headed down the stairs and out of the school building I had this feeling that I'm being followed which is confirmed once I get half way to the dorm building.

"It th-that why you couldn't play anything yesterday", a familiar voice asked.
"Only my left handed guitars were brought here", I said omitting the fact that they weren't even meant to have been brought here "the range of motion issues means that I might not be able to play some chords and I'd have to look over to the right so I don't muck up the chords".
The truth was that I had decided to do maintenance on all of my guitars since some of them had been left out for a while, and decided to split up the right handed models from the left handed models and when I'd finished with the right handed guitars, I walked out to find all the luggage along with the other equipment and the guitars which I was certain I'd placed well away from everything else had gone as well.

Before I could say anything else, the dorm buildings came into view and I heard the footsteps that had been following me all the way from the school building speed up as Hanako dashed past me and headed towards the girls' dorm.
I only returned to my room to drop off my bag since I didn't want to be carrying that at the same time as several shopping bags, but I ended up staying to sort out what I'd be eating later on.
With the unplanned arrangements for later on sorted out, I headed out and towards the main gate only to see Hanako on my but I decided to hold back in case I ended up doing more harm then good by walking up to her.
As we got closer to the gate I could see a figure standing on the other side, and upon seeing that Hanako increased her pace to reach this person who once I got to the gate turned out to be Lilly.

"I th-think we'll have some company", Hanako said as she glanced at me when I walked out of the school grounds.
It is only natural that Hanako knew I was walking behind her, since I was able to hear her walking behind me although I think she was a bit closer.
"I thought that you would have gone to the convenience store by now", Lilly said.
"I needed to drop of my bag before I headed out and ended up sorting a few other things out", I said as I remembered something else "didn't you two go to the convenience store on Wednesday".
"I didn't have time to go last week as there were some meetings that went on for a while", Lilly said "but our supplies were starting to run low so needs must even if it wasn't out usual day since there aren't that many people in the convenience store on a Monday".

At least I now know that I won't be crashing into anyone when I'm shopping, since I'll be doing my multiple basket holding trick as I need to get a lot and I didn't see anything other then baskets last time.
"We should get moving", I said looking at my watch "I know that it won't take too long to get to the town and back, but I'd rather not be unpacking my bags too late in the evening".
Considering the amount of food I'd be getting, I'll be taking a fair bit of time packing everything away once I get back to my room.
"Yes, we should", Lilly said "there's always time for talking during the walk".
Once that had been said we headed down the hill, with Hanako holding onto Lilly mostly to act as a guide since Lilly is holding her navigation cane in the same hand as she's holding her bag.

There wasn't that much in the way of conversation on the way down the hill, most likely because they were waiting on me to start one but I couldn't think about anything to say.
I could see what Lilly meant once we got to the convenience store as there isn't a soul to be seen inside apart from the staff member at the till, so I let Lilly and Hanako get their baskets first and once they'd walked away I removed four baskets from the pile and arranged them so that I'm holding two in each hand.
That has always been my preferred method of doing bulk shopping when there were no other grocery carrying options available since I can use my stronger arm for carrying heavier items, but Hanako did look a bit taken aback when I walked past.
It took me a while to gather everything I needed when it came to lunch and dinner for the next week or so, but I wasn't the only one who took their time as Lilly and Hanako had just gotten to the checkout just before I did.

Being behind them in the queue allowed me to observe something that everyone who had seen it for the first time as unusual, as Hanako handed some money to Lilly and then hid behind her while their items are being run through the till.
The member of staff at the till had quite a shock when I walked up holding four baskets piled to overflowing with food and such, but his actions became as composed as they were when he was dealing with Hanako and Lilly with the total most likely being a lot higher then that of what Hanako and Lilly had purchased.
I left the convenience store with my wallet several thousand yen lighter, and my shoulders straining under the weight of the ten or so carrier bags I'm trying to keep a hold on to.
My departure from the convenience store is easily picked up by Lilly as I must be making enough noise to wake the dead from their slumber, and Hanako is sorting the contents of the carrier bags they have probably into their respective purchases.

"Just how much did you get", Lilly asked.
"Enough, I hope", I said placing the bags onto the ground "I had to restock my supplies for dinner and lunch hopefully to last at least a week or more along with some other essential supplies".
"Are you sure that you'll be to handle all those bags", Lilly asked.
"I should be able to", I said "it'll just take me a bit of time to balance out these bags".
Making use of my only fully feeling arm, I started to pick up each bag guessing how much each one weighed and once I'd gotten all the bags grouped by guessed weight I split each group into two and fed each hand through the handles of the carrier bags.
"That should be everything sorted", I said "we'd better get moving before my right hand decides to let go of the bags it's holding".
"Is it really that bad", Lilly asked.
"It's just one of the downers of having no feeling in one hand", I said "normally I just lose a grip on things with shopping bags not being one of them, although my walk wasn't as long as it is here".

Hanako and Lilly picked up their bags, and Hanako took her usual position close to Lilly to act as navigation so we could start on our walk back to Yamaku.
My only concern is that I'm going to have sore shoulders for the next few days, and since we're now out of the town with nobody else around apart from Lilly and Hanako, I decided to break out my singing to distract myself from the discomfort in my shoulders opting for something in English since I'm taking a guess as to which country one of her parents came from even though her hair and eye colour matches what every Japanese person thinks a foreigner looks like but without any noticeable accent.

My impromptu and possibly better performance didn't stop our walking, but I did catch the two girls listening rather intently when I glanced over at them.
"Was that last performance just an off day", Lilly asked "and how did you know that I'd be able to understand that song?"
"I don't really have that much control over my voice when I can't hear it", I said "and I took a guess even though most would think that you're a foreigner without hearing your lack of accent".
"There have been a few times that has happened", Lilly said as she decided to change the subject "how did you become such a talented singer?"
"I joined one of the music clubs at my old high school", I said "singing is one thing I'm good at thanks to my vocal range with the other being my guitar playing".
"You can play the guitar as well", Lilly said in an inquiring tone.

"It was one of the reasons I decided to join even though I didn't have a guitar or know how to play one", I said "I asked my parents if they could spot me a bit of money for one, and all they said was that they'd deal with it and a few days later I came home to find that I now owned about a dozen guitars".
Lets not forget the studio they had built when the house was being extended, but I'll glass over that for the time being.
"That lot must have cost your parents a fair bit", Lilly said.
"They were ecstatic since it was the first time I'd decided to join that kind of club", I said "they just got carried away, but nothing went to waste since I'm ambidextrous".
"It's just a pity that there aren't any kind of music related clubs at Yamaku", Lilly said "you would have been able to put your talents to good use".
"I've been a bit out of the loop for a while", I said "besides all my guitars are back at home".
There goes my first little white lie where someone actually knows I'm telling a lie, and she's certainly looking a little bit surprised that I didn't admit that about half of my guitars are in my room here.
At least my voice isn't changing tone when I'm talking about my parents, but there's still a chance that could still come out into the open.

"There are still some opportunities for you to show your abilities", Lilly said "they just won't be inside the school".
I have a feeling I know what Lilly is getting at, so I'll just have to wait for that invite to karaoke to come which isn't happening now as my singing along with the conversation that followed has taken us pretty much all the way back inside the walls of Yamaku and almost all the way up to the dormitory buildings.
Our time together ended with Lilly inviting me to future lunches, and I duly accepted before heading back to my room with my shoulders still screaming under the weight of my shopping.

My shoulders finally let out a sigh of relief as I put the carrier bags down once I reached the door to my room so I could open it, and once I'd gotten past that hurdle I started to move the bags inside one by one to keep the strain off my shoulders.
Once I had everything packed away I had time to think about the assignments everyone had been given, but I found myself distracted with another matter as I looked at the guitars dotted around the room.
The plan I had was to sell off the guitars along with all the other equipment in the studio since I felt that I couldn't use some of the guitars and that proceeding with anything music related was pointless, but someone has caused me to think about all of this.

Hanako isn't what you'd call someone who interacts well with others apart from Lilly, but she approached me for no reason I could see felt important.
It must have taken great courage for her to approach me considering my mood at the time, and I've now had some time to think about what I was going to do and what has happened has made me change my mind.
If she can build up the courage to try to make contact with a rather angry me, then I can build up the courage to pick up the guitar and start playing again.
The problem is that I only have my left handed guitars here, but it's a start since I can actually judge if I can actually play anything with a hand that has no feeling in it.
However, all the guitars here do need some work doing on them to bring them into a perfectly playable state and I wouldn't want to go fingers only on some of them if they were, apart from the acoustic I'd placed in one corner of the room and wasn't seen by Hanako yesterday.

I quickly shuffled over to where I'd stowed the acoustic, and removed it from its case for inspection even though I'd changed the strings on it a few months ago and only placed it alongside the other left handed guitars because I wanted to keep them together.
This kind of situation brought back a few good memories, although those times were mainly when I couldn't sleep and brought out the acoustic in an attempt to relax.
One place where I was selling myself short yesterday was my ability to hit all the chords properly with my right hand, and I managed it even doing the chords that require the use of the pinky finger although I should have checked to make sure it was in tune as the first chord I tried to play didn't sound right.

Once I'd gotten the guitar back into tune and took a break for dinner, I started playing each chord but the moment I took my eye off my right hand everything started going wrong as each chord that came out sounded more like something a cat wailing.
It just told me what I already knew where I needed to keep an eye on the hand to make sure everything came out correctly, and it also meant that I wouldn't want to risk playing on the left handed guitars beyond playing alone.
Although, all this is going to become is something that I'll do every so often since the rest of the band would most likely be doing their own things by now and they didn't ever come to the hospital.
Something else I'd forgotten was how easily I could lose track of time when playing on my own, and by the time I'd looked towards the window it is already dark outside.

That look out of the window instantly started me yawning, and a look at the clock told me that I should pack the guitar away and get ready for bed.
I didn't manage to get any of the assignments done, but I can get started on them later since they're not due for a few days.
What I really need to do is to get to bed as I don't want to be half asleep during lessons, but one girl already has that well down as I've seen her more asleep then awake although that might be why she's here.
All this extra thinking is keeping me from what I really should be doing.

Getting ready for bed.

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The next chapter probably won't be for a while since I going between each of the stories I work on in the evening (I write one chapter and move onto the next story as long as I have an idea on how I can continue), but there is going to be a bit of a time jump between this chapter and the next.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Fri Sep 13, 2013 6:06 pm
by demonix
Time turns, and I've finally been able to complete the next chapter although it's posting was slightly delayed by editing that was required because I'd mucked up one part quite badly and an assessment for a few jobs I'd applied for a few days ago.

And without ado, here's the next instalment.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Karaoke Night.

With the hushed discussions going on throughout the classroom anyone would think that this is a normal Saturday, but it's the last Saturday before golden week and those discussions are now about what others will be doing over that time instead of what they'll be doing over the rest of this weekend.
It's a subject matter that I prefer to stay away from since it would be one of the first opportunities to visit a place I've been avoiding since I left the hospital.
Something that took me by surprise earlier on was the phone call I got from Lilly this morning asking if I wanted to have an impromptu lunch with her and Hanako.
What took me by surprise even more then the call itself was that the location for this lunch would be our usual lunch room instead of the Shanghai which was where we spent lunch last Saturday, but we would be meeting up in our classroom.

It did put me into a slight panic since I hadn't made a lunch for today and I had to make one quickly, but I didn't have that much time to get it done before I had to head out, but our first class was with Mutou and he is the only teacher in this place who turns up late to class consistently.
He didn't disappoint with his... lack of punctuality as he walked into the classroom less than a minute after I'd sat down, and I was only five minutes late thanks to taking a small risk by running from the dorm building.
The only result from that was a harsh look from the head of the student council duo just before I walked past her as she'd noticed my exhaustion, along with the quick check of my prosthetics I did at the door.
Our battle with the monotone of science ended a little while ago, and there are a few lessons remaining before everyone can checkout of this classroom for the rest of the weekend.
I'm just hoping that what Lilly is going to say has nothing to do with golden week, otherwise I might just give simple answers to whatever is asked and blank out anything else.

Once our conflicts with the remaining classes had ended, the noise from the classroom increased as everyone except for me and Hanako started to file out of the classroom and after about a minute Lilly entered through the rear door.
When the traffic flow around part of route to where Hanako sits subsided to nothing, I picked up my bag and headed over to where Lilly and Hanako are now talking about something.
My approach is immediately noticed by Lilly, and Hanako turns her head just enough to catch sight of me approaching and then turned her attention back to Lilly.
"I started to think that you'd already left", Lilly said with what looked like a slight pout.
"I was just waiting for traffic to clear before heading over here", I said "I didn't want to get swept away by the crowd headed out of the other door".
"The end of the school day on Saturday does do that to most people here", Lilly said "we should get going as time is precious and we can't be spending too much of it on our lunch".

That kept me thinking about the reason for having our lunch here all the way from the classroom to our little lunch room, and during setting my hastily prepared lunch until Lilly started talking just before we started eating.
"I know this might be sudden, but do you have anything planned for later on today", Lilly asked with the question almost certainly being directed at me as Hanako hasn't answered it.
"Nothing that comes to mind", I said in response even though if Lilly hadn't asked anything, my plans would have been the same as they were last week.
"It's just that I'd been planning on going into the city for a bit of karaoke with Hanako", Lilly said "there's one other person coming, but I wanted to have another good singing voice in the group".
"D-Does that m-mean", Hanako started to ask.
"Yes, Hanako", Lilly said interrupting Hanako mid sentence "Akira did manage to get this evening off to join us".

"This Akira sounds like quite a workaholic", I said between bites of food.
"That she is", Lilly said sounding a little depressed "but she also thinks that she's a really good singer which isn't the truth and I needed someone who is as good as Hanako to take her down a peg or two".
"I-I'm not that good", Hanako blurted out.
"You know that isn't true, Hanako", Lilly said "you're miles better then Akira and it's about time she had her karaoke ego bruised a little".
"Is that the reason why we're having lunch here instead of the Shanghai", I asked.
"I thought it would be better to have lunch here", Lilly said "it means that we can get some of our homework assignments done before getting ready for our trip to the city".

It does sound like the better option as the time it takes to go down to the Shanghai, order, eat and then head back can be spent dealing with homework and getting ready for our night on the town.
"Okay, I'll go", I said "I need to get in some vocal exercise in case there's been any decrease in my abilities".
"I'd doubt that will be necessary", Lilly said while trying to conceal a small chuckle "your impromptu performances have always been pitch perfect".
Hanako just nods furiously in support of what Lilly has just said.
"I'll still need to make sure my singing voice is in good shape", I said "although I'd probably still be able to leave Akira with a bruise on her singing ego if I wasn't in perfect singing shape".
"In that case, we should reconvene at the bus stop near the main school gate at around six", Lilly said.
"A-Akira isn't taking us", Hanako asked.
"I thought that for the sake of our sanity and so we can perform at our best, we should make our journey to the city by bus", Lilly said.

If I'm getting what has been said, this Akira not only is a bad singer but a bad driver as well unless her driving style matches the car she drives.
Once we'd all agreed on the meeting place, we went back to our lunches and when everything had been devoured we cleared everything off the desks and headed out of the school building going towards the dorm buildings.
As I closed the door to my room behind me, I started to think about how I should plan out how the next few hours would play out but the thinking went straight down the toilet as I decided that the first thing I should do is to get some casual clothes ready.
What homework I had is relatively easy and could be completed in a few hours, so I decided to complete one piece and then get a light dinner ready in case we ended up eating something while out in the city.

With all my preparations completed, I changed into the casual clothing I'd made ready beforehand and headed out to the pre assigned meeting place.
Most of the male students who reside on campus must have either retired to their rooms, or are spending some of their time in the common room as I'm certain that I heard the faint sound of a few TV's when I reached the first floor and a lot of audible activity in the common room as I went past it on my way to the door out of the building.
There are faint sounds, most likely coming from the track as I headed to the gate, but I didn't expect what I heard when I walked through the gate.
"I think this is him", Lilly said in a slightly quietened tone.
"Ye-yes, it is", Hanako muttered.

While I didn't expect Lilly to be able to identify me without any words, I forgot that she would probably have been able to make a near positive identification using the sound my prosthetics make while I walked or something else along the lines of any noise I make.
"I didn't think you'd be here at this time", I said since I'd headed out a little earlier then expected "I... erm".
"Is something the matter", Lilly asked when she'd noticed that I'd stopped talking rather abruptly.
"N-n-no, it-it's no-no-nothing", I tried to say with my brain still running a little off track "it-it's just th-that I di-didn't expect t-to s-see the two of you like this".

This is the first time I've seen Lilly and Hanako in there casual clothes, and even though Lilly has a style that matches her personality even though she has a jacket on to fend off the slight chill in the air, Hanako is style personified although... I have a feeling that her choice of clothes is not her attempt at making a fashion statement.
It still makes my choice of casual clothing look extremely lame, even though several pairs of jog pants and a few t-shirts was all I brought with me.
"Flattery aside, we decided to get here a bit earlier in case the bus turned up early", Lilly said "and... I think that we had the same idea since I think that the bus is coming".
Lilly, being the best example I've seen of someone taking advantage of some of the changes their disability causes was right on the mark as the bus crested the hill a little under a minute after she'd said that it was nearly here.

Our journey from the boonies to the lights and sounds of the nearby city went by with only a few discussions about my musical prowess, and once we reached the city Lilly took the lead with Hanako acting as her navigation.
Our journey, however was cut short a few hundred meters away from the bus stop as a woman with short blonde hair and wearing a suit of some kind started walking towards us.
"I didn't think that you'd get here this early, Lills", the blonde haired woman said.
"I'd wish that you'd stop calling me by that name, Akira. I can just about tolerate the students in my class calling me that", Lilly said "and isn't it normally you who shows up late?"
"This is something I didn't want to miss, and since I had plenty of time to spare I was able to get here before our meeting time", the woman called Akira said as she finally noticed me "but I didn't expect that there would be an extra person coming".

"I only asked if he would be coming a little while ago, so I couldn't have told you about the extra attendee", Lilly said as it looked like she is about to go into introductions "Akira, this is Shuji Sakurada, he transferred into Yamaku at the beginning of the school year. Shuji, this is Akira Satou, my older sister".
Now that Lilly had said that, I could safely say to myself that Lilly had gotten all the height genes out of the two of them.
"The more, the merrier I always say as long as Hanako is happy", Akira said "although I doubt anyone will be as supreme as me on the microphone".
That's not what Lilly has said about your singing abilities, but considering the small exchange during lunch I might end up coming in behind Hanako in the singing stakes.

It didn't take us too long to get to our destination, but with Akira acting as Lilly's navigation for the remainder of the journey I ended up becoming a shield for Hanako whenever anyone looked at her for too long which only happened once.
I felt like I'm back in familiar territory when we walked through the door into the karaoke parlour, but as Akira went to confirm our booking, I knew that this wasn't the same place I went with the rest of the club when everyone wanted to blow off the stress of a performance with a karaoke session with all the club members.
Akira beckoned us to follow her once she knew which room had been reserved for us, and we followed her with Hanako helping Lilly get from the foyer to the room.

"The rules are simple", Akira said once we'd sat down "the songs are chosen at random and no complaining if you can't sing it properly".
"How about we choose our own songs", I said slightly harshly "and no loading up the playlist with songs just for yourself".
Now it feels like I'm back with the club, as I always demanded that no one person could load up the playlist with songs just for themselves since some of the seniors did that the first few times in my freshman year before I started demanding everyone had an opportunity to sing.
"I would prefer that everyone gets to select their own songs", Lilly said "you might not be able to unnerve Hanako with that tactic, but Shuji might not know everything this place has".
"Your only agreeing to that because you don't want to sing", Akira said not looking too impressed with how things are turning out.
"You know well enough that I can only sing songs I know well", Lilly exclaimed "and thus far I haven't heard the name of any song I know in this places catalogue".

"I'm sorry, Lills. I just wanted to hear you sing", Akira said apologetically "I've been here before, and I found that there are a few songs that they know and I was going to pick them for you as an excuse for them being random picks".
"Then why don't we stick with selecting our own songs", Lilly said "and I'll let you select songs for me".
Akira grinned, and then made a selection from the terminal on the table.
"Then I'm going first", Akira said as she got up from her seat, microphone in hand "I need to get that debate out of my system".
I won't be saying no to that since I want to know how bad you are at singing.

Once Akira has finished her first song, I really wanted to go somewhere and wash my ears out with bleach.
I mean, it wasn't as bad as some of the junior member in the club from my second year who sounded like cats being treated badly, but Akira seems to have some problems getting her pitch right as I know the song that she sung well enough to know that wasn't how it was supposed to sound.
"Now that was some supreme singing", Akira proclaimed after she sat down.
No it wasn't. That was an example of how right Lilly is about your singing ability, and I'm expecting an extra example of how you think that your better then everyone else... I think.
"Hanako didn't waste any time selecting her first song", Akira said.
During the on and off torture provided by Akira, Hanako decided to have a quick look through the songbook and selected a song possibly to help get rid of the previous performance from our brains.

Once Hanako had finished singing, I was shocked as to what happened even though I had expected that she would give a performance that would leave me wondering if I could match her.
It only took one deep breath for Hanako to change from the shy, anti-social person that everyone at Yamaku knows to a full of confidence singer who could give Shinobu a run for her money.
Somehow it felt like I'm a witness to a side of Hanako that has been buried since whatever happened to her happened, but that does depend on if she was the full of confidence type back then.
"She always does this", Lilly whispered "I was surprised the first time I heard her sing".
"That was good, but not as good as my performance", Akira proclaimed.
Those words were enough to cause Hanako's confidence to drop, and the look she gave me as she sat down told me that I had to give Akira's ego a little bruising.
With that in mind I quickly grabbed the songbook, and started flicking through it to find something I knew extremely well so I could teach Akira that she is completely tone deaf when it comes to her own singing.

"Are you actually going to pick something", Akira asks "or are you just going to keep looking at the songbook".
"I was too awestruck during the last performance to look through it", I said "so if you'd keep quiet for a bit longer I'd be able... to... find.... something".
Lilly had taken over from me after I started trailing off, but I'm filtering that out as I'd found something that I didn't expect to be listed in any karaoke songbook since it's quite retro and I can sing it with my eyes closed and with perfect pitch even though it was originally sung by a woman.
Mad Machine.
With Lilly and Akira still discussing whatever they're talking about and Hanako radiating an embarrassing heat from my earlier remarks, I took a hold of the selection terminal and punched in the number for the song I'd selected.

"I'd really like to see how you're going to get this right", Akira said once she'd noticed that I'd selected a song.
"Fiv-fifty thousand yen says h-he'll surprise you", Hanako said.
"I just hope that you have the money to back that bet up", Akira said as she looked ready to accept the bet.
"Akira, I suggest that you don't agree to that bet", Lilly said "you'll only end up hurting yourself along with your wallet".
That advice came slightly too late as Akira and Hanako had already agreed to the bet by the time Lilly started to impart her advice and the song had started as well, so I stood up, picked up the microphone and took one look at Hanako who seems to be telling me in the way she's looking at me not to screw this up then I closed my eyes to focus on the music.

I managed to pick up the start of the singing part without any problems, and from what I'm hearing of my own voice I'm not making any massive mistakes with the lyrics and with my voice in general.
Once the final singing part ended, I opened my eyes to find Lilly still looking calm a collected from what I can see from my position, Hanako is positively beaming and Akira looks about extremely dumbstruck.
"He-he didn't even look at the screen", Akira muttered "I don't even think I could ever match that with the songs I know well enough".
I happen to know that song extremely well, but karaoke is the only place where I can flex that part of my voice with others around.
"I did warn you about taking on that bet", Lilly said after a long sigh "Shuji is a lot better at singing then you are".
"It did come a bit too late", I said "but a bet is a bet so don't forget to pay the lady".

"Are you going to be okay for money", Lilly asked with a great amount of concern in her voice.
"I'll be fine since I have a lot saved up", Akira said as she took five ten thousand yen notes from her wallet and handed then to Hanako "although I didn't think that I'd lose fifty grand on a bet".
"Your performance wasn't exactly awe inspiring", I said looking directly at Akira "if you don't mind deferring your first performance for a bit, Lilly. I'd like to show your sister how that song was meant to be sung".
"I don't mind", Lilly said "in fact, I would like to hear how you would sing that song".
"Hey, didn't we agree to only sing one song at a time", Akira said.
"Lilly did agree to this", I said as I punched in the number for song Akira sung a little while ago "plus this is a little lesson for you on how to control your voice, so listen and learn".

This performance wasn't as good as my previous one, but I did manage to keep the pitch in my voice close enough to the original and not the car wreck Akira churned out.
"I'd have to say that that performance was a lot better then yours", Lilly said directing her response towards her sister.
"I've listened to that song a few times", Akira said "and I've always had good comments from the guys at work whenever I sung it".
The only reasons I can think of as to how that happens is if everyone else is nine sheets of the wind, or they're just completely tone deaf and don't know the song well enough.
"You do need to listen to a song several times to at least memorise everything", I said going back into education mode "the pitch of your voice in some parts was the only problem as your pitch was either too high or not high enough".

"It's not always about giving a perfect performance", Akira said.
"When most of the performers can give perfect or near perfect performances it's better to try to match them, and not to put them down", I said "plus I believe that it's now Lilly's turn to wow us".
"Well your not getting another go until the rest of us have had our second go", Akira exclaimed.
"Whatever floats your boat", I said "just try to take what I've said to heart".

Akira then took control of the selection terminal, putting in two songs while telling Lilly the song she had put in for her which didn't sound familiar.
Once Lilly started singing, it started to make me question this places song catalogue since I have the distinct impression that this song is only meant to be sung when your completely plastered.
Akira took over while Lilly tried to recover from the embarrassment of singing that song, but even though her singing hadn't improved -which it couldn't with just a few minutes of educating- she did stop over exaggerating her abilities.
Hanako once again left me in awe with her second performance, but unlike last time Akira didn't compare their performances.
The second song Akira chose for Lilly is as unrecognisable as the first, but once the song had ended Akira made another announcement.

"Those were the only songs I know that you knew, so your off the hook for the rest of the time we have", Akira announced directing those words at Lilly "and now it's back to the singing".
Which she did even badly then before while Hanako looked at the songbook intently.
"I'd have to admit that was a really lousy performance since it's the first time I sung it", Akira said once she'd finished singing "have you decided on your next song, Hanako?"
Hanako had been looking at just one page of the songbook rather intently, and the reason became clear as she showed me the page she had been looking at pointing at a song that I knew well enough since I sung a part of it to her a few weeks ago.
"Do you want to do a duet", I asked.
Hanako only nodded to confirm her answer, and went to enter the song number in and pick up a microphone.
"It sounds like we're about to witness a performance we won't soon forget", Akira said as the song started.

It certainly is something I won't forget for a while as even though Hanako didn't know this song apart from the part I sung to her, she managed to get all the timing and entry points correct along with her vocals being pitch perfect.
She must have gotten the song and listened to it, or she might be able to adapt to whatever song she's singing rather quickly.
When the song ended, I turned around to find Akira doing an impersonation of a Venus fly trap and Lilly looking as calm and composed as she always is.
"Now that was something I didn't expect to see or even hear", Akira said once she'd stopped doing her Venus fly trap impersonation.
"That was certainly something to behold", Lilly said.

Hanako went beet red with all the compliments, and quickly headed back to her seat while I took it at a more leisurely pace.
"So, what are you guys doing over golden week", Akira asked.
Oh great, she asked about that.
"Nothing that I know of", I said avoiding any mention of something I haven't done since I got out of the hospital.
Lilly and Hanako gave similar answers, with Hanako stammering through her answer.
"Then we'll have to do this again", Akira announced as she went back to the selection terminal "we've still got some time left, so we'd better make good use of it".
Which we did, with Akira keeping to her usual tempo, Hanako continually making me speechless with each performance but I started to slip in my singing since my mind is still preoccupied with what was just mentioned.
Lilly managed to take the last few minutes of the time we had as Hanako had found a song she thought Lilly would know, which she did although I don't think she got it perfect since I only heard it once many years ago.

With the time we'd had used to its fullest we sorted ourselves out and headed outside, but as we left the building Akira received a phone call and when it ended she said that she'd been called into work and promptly departed.
"It's a pity that Akira had to leave so soon", Lilly said "but being called in when she has some time off or doing hours of overtime is normal for her".
"I'd have to guess that there was something else planned", I asked.
"It is something Hanako and I had planned for after our karaoke session", Lilly said "I had hoped that Akira wouldn't be called into work on short notice, but having one person less shouldn't put a damper on the plan".
Since I didn't know my way around this city, I decided to leave navigation to Hanako and Lilly of which the former kept looking at each of the establishments until she had found the one she was looking for and directed Lilly towards the entrance.

The establishment is probably a frequent or infrequent haunt for one or both of the girls, as the man at the door greeted them by their family names.
Once Lilly had said that they'd made a booking, the man ushered us in and instead of going towards one on the tables in the centre of the establishment, we are directed towards one of the tables near the left wall which are almost like those at the Shanghai.
After we'd taken our seats, Hanako and I are handed a menu each as Lilly said that she didn't need one and the man left so that we could look at them before we order.
"Do you come here often", I asked.
"Every once in a while when Akira had some time off", Lilly said "we brought Hanako here twice last year which is why some of the staff know her".
Having these booths probably convinced Akira that Hanako would be able to relax here without that many people looking at her.
My thought processes are dragged back when another member of staff came to take our order with Lilly and Hanako ordering their 'usual', and I ordered... whatever might be good.

With food due in a little while, the conversation turned to what happened at the karaoke place.
"I didn't really expect you to give Akira a singing lesson", Lilly said.
"I'm used to doing that since it was a responsibility I had before", I said.
"Responsibility", Lilly asked.
"In the club, the seniors were responsible for helping the new junior members", I said "it was the same for me when I was a new member since I didn't know that much about music apart from my emerging singing voice".
"They must have found out about that rather quickly", Lilly said.
"Only on my first karaoke session with the club", I said "they only had me pegged for guitar before that and I only ever get to to flex the part of my singing voice you heard at the start at karaoke".
"Didn't they need a feminine singing voice", Lilly said inquisitively.
"They already had one and didn't need another", I said "I only had a few opportunities to flex my voice on stage once it was a lot better then it was".

"There is something that has been bugging me for the past week or so", Lilly said "what did Emi mean by knowing what necessary equipment you had in your room?"
Even though Emi didn't say anything about my prosthetics, Lilly has probably been wondering what she meant during that crashing encounter and the clattering of my prosthetics on the bus might have gotten her thinking a lot more.
"It was my prosthetics", I said "my original set was a botch job as they'd made them to the same length, so another set had to be made which turned up when I started here and a set of running prosthetics turned up a few days later which is what Emi was talking about".
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried into your personal life", Lilly said rather aetiologically.
"It would have come out sooner or later since they'd have been making some noise on the bus", I said "and you didn't ask how it happened so you could really call it prying".
"But still, I should have considered every possibility before asking", Lilly said.
"If it did, then I would have said so and not even responded to your question", I said.

That conversation didn't keep on going round and round since our orders arrived, and silence descended as we started eating.
The lack of conversation continued up to when we finished eating when we had to sort out the money for the bill, but the girls stopped me from adding any money as it was their treat.
There wasn't that much in the way of conversation as we headed back to the bus stop so that we can get back to Yamaku before curfew, and it continued on the bus all the way to our destination up until we reached the point where the path splits near the dorm buildings.
After the customary good nights, we headed our separate ways with my walk feeling a lot longer then it should do.
Once I got back to my room, the question of what I'm going to do during golden week returned to haunt my thoughts.
I could spend the time with Hanako, Lilly and Akira if she ever gets time off work during golden week, but there's something more important that I can do and it's something I haven't tried to do since I chickened out on the way there last year.

It's something I've been trying to avoid since, but I know that I can't avoid not going there even though I'll most likely chicken out again when I get there.
So, I've got a lot to be thinking about but I know there's something I need to figure out now.
Should I try and down that light dinner I made now, or leave it wrapped up and add to it for tomorrow.
There's too many things to think about, and so little time before I go to bed.

------------------------------------------------------------------

I wasn't that sure what Akira would be like when it comes to karaoke, so I decided to have her think that she's a good singer without realising that she isn't until someone went and did something unexpected (and I didn't make her an instant pro afterwards).

The major part I had to alter was the beginning as I'd seemed to have lost all sense of time for that part of the story, and had to make some changes to make it all run correctly.

And as for that thing the MC was planning on doing, that is going to happen in the next chapter (and it doesn't happen during golden week).

With that all said and done, I've got to get on with what little writing I can do before I shut down.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2013 12:01 pm
by Mirage_GSM
Your three usual problems:
1.) Tenses.
2.) Reality checks. Do them from time to time. Just an example:
"Fiv-fifty thousand yen says h-he'll surprise you", Hanako said.
Hanako is betting more than 500$ just out of the blue? And on a bet the objective of which cannot be objectively argued with a tone deaf-person?

And this leads us directly to the last problem:
3.) Perfect OC
From the moment They ade the bet I knew how the rest of the chapter would play out:
Your OC would sing the song so perfectly that even Akira, who apparently can't judge voices worth a damn is shocked into submission - something not even Hanako was able to do.
What's worse: Your OC described Hanako's performance as awa inspiring. That means that his performance was even better than that.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have pried into your personal life", Lilly said rather aetiologically.
I've found that the word really does exist, but it makes no sense in this context. Not sure what you wanted to say.

Re: Walking Forwards (tentative title)

Posted: Sun Sep 15, 2013 5:40 pm
by demonix
I think that trying to sort out those tenses is going to haunt me for the remainder of my life, and I did think that the bet was a little OT to begin with but I left it in as it (probably) showed the faith Hanako had in his abilities (she was going to say five thousand, but decided to go higher).

Music was pretty much he was really good at before the accident, but I only made the first song the one he was extremely good at (it was mainly his reciting the lyrics from memory that was part of the reason why Akira changed her tone) as the second (the education for Akira) wasn't 100% perfect along with some of the rest he sang although that was because he had something else on his mind.

And I'll have to bang my head on the keyboard for not catching that massive spelling error (it was meant to be apologetically), although it might have been an error of my own doing as I'd probably spelt apologetically incorrectly and selected the wrong item from the right click spell checking list (I actually did it now, and found out what might have happened).