Katawa Shoujo Forums

Forget it.

Very interesting take on how Rin sees her lack of arms. I like it. Cecum nice little story.

My first reaction was: WTF? Arms?! I thought this story was told from Rin's perspective...
But then I kept reading. A really good story. Very Rin-ish indeed. 5/5

OtakuNinja wrote:My first reaction was: WTF? Arms?! I thought this story was told from Rin's perspective...
But then I kept reading.

Indeed. I was ready to pounce, with a "Hey Doomish, you mucked a bit. Here, and here, and here... and here... oh", too. Well, now that's been deleted, so onwards with new content. I liked it. It's refreshing to read passages from new perspectives, especially perspectives as unusual as Rin's. I like how your Rin refers to her "appendages" as arms, regardless of which ones they actually are, even though it was confusing at first. Though, I feel like something is off about that last speech phrase. I'm not sure what it is. I just feel like it should read "Oh, right. I remember now. [Differently phrased sentence.]" Of course it could just be me. Anyway, nice to see you popping in from time to time, Doomish. Always a pleasure reading your stuff.
Cheers, BlackWaltz.

BlackWaltzTheThird wrote:Though, I feel like something is off about that last speech phrase. I'm not sure what it is. I just feel like it should read "Oh, right. I remember now. [Differently phrased sentence.]" Of course it could just be me.

I think it should just be the phrase, and not the "Joy starts to appear..."-part. That part isn't necessary, since it's already written a couple of lines before.

Every day is codeine day, huh? Well, why not.
Got to admit that I did a bit of a doubletake at the arms/fingers bits too, but my faith was rewarded, of course. A good read and interesting as both sort of a prologue and epilogue at the same time. Writing Rin can be quite a challenge for some people (myself included), and the thought of writing from her point of view makes my head hurt, but I think you pulled it off pretty well.
The one little nagging thing I can mention of is the "I still have arms. I don't let anyone tell me otherwise" line, there's actually a point, I think in Act 1, when Hisao flat out says "You don't have arms", and she doesn't really mind. But since the second half takes place in the future, perhaps her character would have had time to change a bit since then, etc, etc. Overall a good read, and I'm glad to see something new from you.

Doomish wrote:I could have taken this in a far darker direction but I think everyone deserves to have something happy written for them once in a while. Thank you for reading.

And I greatly appreciate that. I'm glad I was able to read what you write, because as good a writer as you are, I just can't take your dark stuff. Not after "With Apologies…"