Flutters - A Poem For Emi
Posted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:46 pm
In this poem I tried to imagine the nightmares that Emi has and the effect they have on her, trying to reflect upon her feelings and to find an answer as to why these dreams play such an important part in defining her personality. I was also reflecting upon my own nightmares and a particular recurrent one I have about my grandfather dying: it is particularly disturbing as the short relief I experience when I wake up from it is followed by the realisation that my grandfather is indeed dead. I imagine Emi's experience would be very similar to that. Anyhow, it is a dark poem that will hopefully help you feel Emi's terror, venture forth at your own risk. The poem is meant to be read at one go, fast, without pauses and without stopping to think about it.
Flutters
They flutter like a colibri,
(The bird that flaps its wings
A hundred times per second), they do,
Like a caged bird with no knowledge of its condition,
With no thoughts but a premonition …
They flutter like snowflakes pushed against glass,
They do,
They cut like broken glass,
These nightmares,
Flutter like the eyelashes of a man newly blinded
Relentlessly, urgently, like a chained angel,
They flutter, flutter,
No, they explode like dynamite against the soft pillow,
The embers of sleep burn with this urgency,
Against the back of her head,
She wrestles with dreams foreign,
Dreams etched in her mind like inscriptions,
Dreams more real than the event they reflect upon,
Flutter like a car losing its grip on a road,
Somewhere far into the past, a car, crashing,
Flesh burning like charcoal, slowly, slowly,
She flutters, moves in her sleep, moves legs that are long gone,
Turns in her bed sharply, like a drill,
Like this dream is drilling her heart, gently,
They flutter, flutter, like blind fireflies,
Like her father’s last words
Lost within the screeches of a collision,
Lost forever in a void that consumes her,
Her tears the only firmament
Upon the map of this nightmare,
***
She opens her eyes with a start,
Relieved it was a nightmare, nightmare,
Nothing is real, except these tears
Then she thinks hard
And remembers
The crash that’s inscribed in her dreams
Is a part of her life in reality…
***
Each day she wakes up,
Dresses and hits the track,
Flutters like a colibri,
(The bird that flaps its wings
A hundred times per second), she does,
She flutters
Like a caged bird,
Like snowflakes pushed against glass,
Like a chained angel,
Eyelashes,
Like a bad dream,
A car crashing,
Running, the only firmament
Upon the map of her life.
Flutters
They flutter like a colibri,
(The bird that flaps its wings
A hundred times per second), they do,
Like a caged bird with no knowledge of its condition,
With no thoughts but a premonition …
They flutter like snowflakes pushed against glass,
They do,
They cut like broken glass,
These nightmares,
Flutter like the eyelashes of a man newly blinded
Relentlessly, urgently, like a chained angel,
They flutter, flutter,
No, they explode like dynamite against the soft pillow,
The embers of sleep burn with this urgency,
Against the back of her head,
She wrestles with dreams foreign,
Dreams etched in her mind like inscriptions,
Dreams more real than the event they reflect upon,
Flutter like a car losing its grip on a road,
Somewhere far into the past, a car, crashing,
Flesh burning like charcoal, slowly, slowly,
She flutters, moves in her sleep, moves legs that are long gone,
Turns in her bed sharply, like a drill,
Like this dream is drilling her heart, gently,
They flutter, flutter, like blind fireflies,
Like her father’s last words
Lost within the screeches of a collision,
Lost forever in a void that consumes her,
Her tears the only firmament
Upon the map of this nightmare,
***
She opens her eyes with a start,
Relieved it was a nightmare, nightmare,
Nothing is real, except these tears
Then she thinks hard
And remembers
The crash that’s inscribed in her dreams
Is a part of her life in reality…
***
Each day she wakes up,
Dresses and hits the track,
Flutters like a colibri,
(The bird that flaps its wings
A hundred times per second), she does,
She flutters
Like a caged bird,
Like snowflakes pushed against glass,
Like a chained angel,
Eyelashes,
Like a bad dream,
A car crashing,
Running, the only firmament
Upon the map of her life.