Miki Route (updated 7/17)

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Leaty
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Leaty »

Hmm, I'm going to be the (lone?) dissenter here and say that I don't think using the same decision point as themocaw's Saki route was necessarily the best way to set up the narrative you're going for. Don't get me wrong— when it was used in the Saki route, it worked, and I liked it, but in that scenario it made sense to me because Hisao was showing his more aggressive side and pushing away Lilly and Shizune, only to wind up with Saki, who can be very aggressive herself, where those two are concerned. Miki, on the other hand, doesn't seem like the kind of girl who harbors animosity for any of the characters seen in the VN, other than just generally chafing at Shizune's bossiness. It just seems incongruous for Hisao to explode (unjustifiably so, in Lilly's case,) establishing his personality as sort of volatile and touchy, only for him to wind up with Miki in the next scene.

And, anyway, since that scene in themocaw's story led directly to the Saki route, the parameters here are kind of nebulous. What happened differently in this playthrough of Act One to set Hisao up with Miki instead of Saki/Rika?

If I were to do this scene differently, I would probably make the setup "Slow Recovery" instead of "Cold War." As far as I know, in the actual VN, selecting "Yeah, I sure was having fun fun fun at the nurse's office..." leads, very very slowly, to Manly Picnic (even if you haven't done anything to sabotage Emi or Rin.) That always bothered me, as that's literally the only spot in the entire game where you can tell Misha and Shizune to "piss off" and stop being so damn intrusive, in a way very similar to the beginning of the Saki route, but significantly more justified, and without the (frankly nonsensical) tantrum thrown at Lilly, who never actually does anything to bring Hisao into the argument in "Cold War."

As far as I'm concerned, unliike Cold War, Slow Recovery doesn't need a "Both of you, Just leave me alone" decision; said decision is already there, but everything after it just goes to The Deep End. I prefer it as a vehicle for starting a Suzu/Miki route (though Cold War works fine for Saki and Rika, both of whom are much more fractious.)
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Mirage_GSM »

I think you are confusing a fanfiction with an actual VN...
In a fanfiction there is NO NEED for any choice to be different, because the reader is not required to make choices to lead him on one route or another. I could start another fanfiction right now and have that scene lead into a Ritsu route and there would be no problem with that - except for an obvious lack of originality of course...
Sure you can argue that agressiveness is symbolic for Saki, but in the same way you can argue that showing guts in this way would have impressed Miki.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Leaty
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Leaty »

I'm not confusing anything. I just have a different philosophy about how additional VN Paths should be written than you do.

My perspective is that writing a new route in a VN constitutes its own fanfiction subgenre (just as, say, ending continuations are their own subgenre) and ought to be written as though they could have been coded into the game without any serious departure in tone or pacing. Rika Story is pretty much the gold standard in this regard; it has bad endings, the pacing follows the VN, and Rikabro even stated he had a headcanon leitmotif for Rika, which all the VN love interests have. This is also, in my speculation, why that story is as popular as it is.

If you're just going to abandon any VN conventions that happen to provide an obstacle to your writing process, than you're not really writing a path, you're just writing a ship fic. In that case, you really don't have to be consistent with anything (for example, you can completely ignore "universal events" like the Act One festival, or Lilly going to Scotland.) You can even write the whole thing in the omniscient third person. There's nothing wrong with that, but personally that's not really the type of fic I have any interest in reading.

It's a moot point anyway, because in this case the author clearly stated their intent that "Cold War" be taken as a start point to all other paths, and used the exact setup from themocaw's branch, implying that the two fics are — however loosely — "in continuity." I don't feel entirely ridiculous in assuming that with this fic the author is implying a hypothetical scenario where actions leading up to this point could cause a decision to result in either a Saki path or a Miki path.

My criticism was that it wasn't consistent; Hisao gets Saki in themocaw's fic because he was aggressive to Shizune and needlessly aggressive towards Lilly, who in that scene really hadn't done anything wrong. Saki can be pretty wantonly callous herself, so it makes plenty of sense that Hisao's behavior in that scene would lead to her entrance into the story. I agree that standing up to Shizune would have impressed Miki, but even though Miki herself states she doesn't have any female friends, Lilly is pretty much universally liked by her peers (with the exception of Shizune and maybe Rin; even Kenji seems to secretly be okay with her) and there's no reason to believe Miki would have any animosity towards her, which is why I don't think it makes sense that Miki would be impressed by Hisao having a temper tantrum and cursing her out for no reason.

Also, up to that point, has Lilly done anything to Hisao other than show him kindness? Her only sin was having an argument with Shizune while Hisao was in the same room.
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Meadows
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Meadows »

Oh wow, this thread. I go away to brainstorm for a bit and then suddenly: whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Leaty, I give you serious props for playing Devil's advocate and the amount of attention you have to detail, but honestly the intent behind half of what you said has completely gone over my head.

I'd like to make it clear that I'm really not going to get too wrapped up in semantics to the point where the writing suffers. Let's be real, even though I'm writing a "route", this is never going to actually become a part of a game (nor will any other route out there that's floating around). I know that's what we'd like to think, but in practicality it's just not viable. I could spend my time making up a bunch of bullshit "flags" before this scene that have further influence on whose route he winds up on afterwards (Rika vs. Saki. vs. Miki. vs. Suzu). Maybe it's a choice that occurs immediately after the classroom scene of where to go that determines this, or maybe it's the "I don't feel like taking my meds today choice" earlier on. It's ultimately a moot point. You see what I'm saying?
Continuity is still very much a priority for me, and I will be checking my facts since continuity errors in any medium annoy the heck out of me, but I am not going to spend too much time splitting hairs over certain aspects of the metaverse here.

I'm sorry if my statement about the route being a "gateway to all the other characters routes" was taken to mean that the implications of the choice will influence Hisao's attitude and mentality throughout the rest of the route.
That's really not what I'm going for here, and I hope that 1-2 (and subsequent chapters) will make that more clear. I will say it flat-out: "Hisao was practically trippin' balls and having a shitty-ass day, so he flipped the fuck out on some bitches."
It's as simple as that. I understand that not all of the readers here have had experience with high dosages of medications doing screwy things to their mood, but this is spin I have chosen to put on themocaw's scene--for a reason.

ANYWAY!

In the meantime, I have had my nose to the grindstone and can say with confidence that I am at about 80% with fully fleshing out Miki's character. I have made sure to spend adequate time hammering out the fine details before I get too deep in this and unintentionally wind up disappointing people. That might happen anyway, can't please 'em all, but I'm doing my best here.

Act 1-2 will be out before this weekend is over. Expect it.
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Leaty
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Leaty »

Meadows wrote:Oh wow, this thread. I go away to brainstorm for a bit and then suddenly: whatthefuckamireading.jpg

Leaty, I give you serious props for playing Devil's advocate and the amount of attention you have to detail, but honestly the intent behind half of what you said has completely gone over my head.
I'm basically saying that I think the first chapter would flow better if it started from Slow Recovery instead of Cold War. That's how I would have written that chapter if I were brave enough to write a Miki branch.

Don't mind me; I dwell way too much on conceptual purity.
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Meadows
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Re: Miki Route by Meadows

Post by Meadows »

Leaty wrote:I'm basically saying that I think the first chapter would flow better if it started from Slow Recovery instead of Cold War. That's how I would have written that chapter if I were brave enough to write a Miki branch.

Don't mind me; I dwell way too much on conceptual purity.
Ahhh, got it. Thank you for explaining.
It's definitely a good suggestion, and later on when I have a moment I will spend some time going through those parts in the game again to see about maybe reworking 1-1
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Meadows
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Meadows »

I think I'm going to have to get used to stuff turning out to be much longer than I planned it. That's writing, I guess.
As promised, here is the second chapter of my Miki route. I hope you enjoy! (Questions, comments, and critique are always welcome)

I should add that I've also updated the main post with a bit more verbiage. I've tweaked 1-1 a bit in various places to add a few more descriptive passages and changed some wording based on feedback I've been given.
It's nothing major, but you should check it out if you're curious.
Last edited by Meadows on Sun Jun 24, 2012 1:02 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Meadows »

===================================
Act 1-2: What Goes Around
===================================

One uncomfortably long walk later, I find myself in the head nurse’s office. His normally friendly and reassuring smile had turned into a strict frown as soon as he opened the door and saw me slumped over Miki’s shoulder. After helping me the rest of the way over to the examination table, Miki is now leaning casually against the opposite wall with her arms crossed. She asked if she should wait outside, but I told the nurse that she could stay—which made him shoot me a smile that seemed to say ‘Putting on a brave face, are we?’ I’d feel kind of bad ditching her so unceremoniously after she was nice enough to bring me here.

The nurse quickly undid the top buttons on my shirt and has been listening intently to my heart for the last minute or so, eyes narrowed in concentration. I’m thankful that he lets me keep my shirt on, since it conceals my scar almost entirely—still not really comfortable with having others stare at the thing. After another moment or two he straightens up and slings his stethoscope back around his neck.

“Well Hisao, the good news is that it looks like you aren’t going to die,” the nurse declares with a wink.

“Really? That’s a relief” I say, only managing a slight frown, “You’ll have to forgive me if I don’t jump for joy though, this isn’t the first time that I’ve heard this kind of ‘great news’ before.”

The nurse nods, but rather than quipping back, he seems more eager to move forward with his analysis.

“So you say you first started noticing a change in the afternoon, correct?” He reaches for his clipboard and, with a swift click of the pen, is ready to start jotting notes, “Can you tell me any noticeable symptoms?”

I scratch the back of my head and start to recount, “I was hypersensitive to my heartbeat and had a terrible headache. I felt fatigued, anxious, my mouth got really dry and…”

The nurse stops writing and abruptly cuts me off, “Let me guess, you had some emotional outbursts.”

I’m surprised at how spot-on he is, and I nod a bit sheepishly. Miki tries suppressing a slight giggle as she listens. After a few more quick scribbles the nurse drops his pen back into his pocket, taking a moment to read over everything again and flip back and forth between some of the pages.

“I think I know what happened here, Hisao. I had you on too high a dosage of Propafenone which caused a somewhat adverse reaction in conjunction with the Disopyramide you’re also taking.”

I blink once or twice in response before I can manage to sputter out, “And that means… what, exactly?”

“Simply put,” he tosses his clipboard onto his desk and turns back to smile at me, “I gave you too much of the good stuff.”

“Ah okay. So we just need to adjust my dosage then or something?” I say, feeling quite relieved, and I’m sure it shows on my face. During the walk here, I began to worry that I had done something wrong and had bought myself another one-way ticket back to that dismal hospital room again.

“Right you are. I’ll call in the new prescription and have it ready for you by tomorrow. Fortunately, this kind of thing is well-documented and there wasn’t any fatal risk because of it, but I’m still glad that you came to see me right away,” the nurse gives me another approving nod.

“Thank Miki, she’s the one who found me and talked me into coming,” I say, nodding in her direction.

“Really?” the nurse says while raising an eyebrow and turning to face the brown-skinned wallflower in the room.

“Haha, naaah. It wasn’t much of anything really,” she grins sheepishly, clearly trying to be modest, “I was just there to get ready for track practice when I saw Hisao and thought I would chat him up. Dumb luck, I’d say.”

“Luck is luck either way,” says the nurse, gently inclining his head. He then turns to look directly at me, expression suddenly turning a little more serious, “I apologize for my error here, Hisao. I never intended to cause you any discomfort, and you have my word that this will be fixed.”

“It’s alright. I know you’re here to look out for me, just like you said, right?” I recall the nurse’s words to me on my first day here after he had finished introducing himself. At the time, I thought it was just something he was saying because it’s his job, but the sincerity of his apology makes me realize that he really meant it.

“Right,” he smiles and nods in assent, “In the meantime, drink plenty of water and just skip the next couple doses of that one. Here, I’ll write the name down for you again.” The nurse grabs a post-it note from the desk and jots down the absurd name of the drug that is the sole culprit of this incident—complete with a smiley-face doodle with swirls for eyes and a tongue sticking out just to emphasize the point. I accept his thoughtful gesture with gratitude, clutching the note protectively.

The nurse turns his attention to Miki again, “Sorry Miki, didn’t mean to ignore you too much. Just had to make sure Hisao was all set first. Everything alright with you lately?” It’s only for a fraction of a second, but as I hop off the table and start buttoning my shirt back up, I notice the nurse glancing at Miki’s left wrist as he speaks. The implied meaning of his words is not easily overlooked.

“As good as ever, doc,” she says, almost a little too quickly and dismissively. I can’t tell if that just comes from her usual confidence or there is something else here. I’m probably overthinking things.

“Oh!” Miki snaps her fingers suddenly and points at the nurse, who raises his eyebrows in surprise, “As a matter of fact, I do have something good for you.” Her Cheshire Cat-like grin widens and she motions for the nurse to come closer. Taking the cue, he tilts his head forward and to the side a bit, while Miki leans over to whisper conspiratorially in his ear. I can’t make any of it out except Nurse’s reactions:

“Ah… hmm… I see… Really now~?”

Their two-person, one-round game of Telephone ends and the nurse pauses a moment to give Miki a knowing look before letting out a hearty laugh. I’m left standing there clueless until the laughter subsides and he clears his throat, “Ahem. Thank you for letting me know Miss Miura, your efforts are appreciated as always.”

“Yeah man, but you still owe me. I might be calling it in on that one soon, y’know,” Miki says while lobbing a playful jab at his arm with her left wrist.

“Right right, I’ll honor my word as always” the nurse says with a sweeping bow as he opens the door, “I hate to bring this drop-in to an end so soon, but I have some more work to take care of before the day is done.”

Miki and I take the cue and say one last thanks before stepping into the hallway and making our way out of the building. As we walk, I stare at the note that the nurse handed me, perhaps a little too intently. Miki leans over towards me, arms behind her back, making a light humming noise.

“So what’s that for anyway?”

Her question snaps me out of my reverie and back into the moment, “Oh, uh… I’ve got heart... stuff.”

“Heart stuff, huh” she rubs her chin as if contemplating something profound, “So that explains why the nurse was so eager to get all touchy-feely with your chest.” I shoot her a low-caliber dirty glare and she sticks out her tongue out playfully in return.

“It’s cool. I’ve got… hand stuff,” she pauses and raises her left arm, giving it a little shake for effect. I realize that Miki is one of the few people besides Rin, the nurse, and the teachers here to learn about my condition so far. It hasn’t really come up in normal conversation with anyone yet, but then again…might I have been avoiding it? Considering what she just did for me, though, I decide that I really don’t mind her knowing about it all that much. Despite that, I’m still not so eager to talk about it in great detail right away, so a subject change is in order:

“What was that about at the end there?” I ask, quickly breaking the silence and overcome by a desire to sate my curiosity that has been simmering since we left.

“Hm? Oh, that?” the 10,000-Mikiwatt grin is back on, “Just following up on a little deal he and I worked out before. Not that important think of it as…secret girl stuff.”

“You mean…feminist stuff?” I can’t believe this thought has actually occurred to me, but maybe my kooky hallmate really is on to something. It’s worth a shot.

“Femi--what? Hell no!” Miki laughs, “You’ve been spending time with that Kenji kid, haven’t you?”

“Yeah,” I sigh, “It’s kind of hard not to. He lives right across from me.”

“Wow, really dude? Harsh. I don’t think I could handle a concentrated dose of crazy like that on a regular basis. I mean, I talk to him every now and then, but it’s just one of the many things around here that makes you wonder…” she trails off as she puts her arms behind her head.

“Welcome to Yamaku?” I offer with a bit of a smirk.

“Welcome to Yamaku,” she echoes with a single nod of approval, and a friendly pat on the back.

The sun is now well on its way to setting, blanketing everything in a comfortable orange-gold glow. A crow can be heard cawing lazily somewhere off in the distance as we arrive at the part of campus where the paths to the different dorms diverge. I slow my pace a bit and eventually come to a stop, which causes Miki to stop as well, turning to face me. We lock eyes for a moment, and I’m struck by how strongly yet comfortably she holds the contact.

“Um…” I fidget for a moment as I try to dredge up the right words, “Thanks for talking to me and for everything else you did, Miki. I’d probably still be out there turning into a tree if it weren’t for you. I really… appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it” Miki says with a wave of her hand, “Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time I’ve been around at the right time to help someone out like that. I’m glad I could.”

A question hangs in the air, but I decide not to pursue it further for now. I’ll just file that one away for next time. Speaking of next time…

“So you mentioned that we could hang out?”

“Yeah, isn’t that what we’ve been doing already?” Miki replies rather matter-of-factly.

My failure to hide what I guess must be a look of disappointment causes her to let out a laugh.

“I know that,” I sigh, absentmindedly running a hand through my hair, “I was thinking more along the lines of something on a particular day at a particular time? Maybe?”

“Oh ho ho! Mister Nakai! Are you trying to ask me out on a date with less than a week on the clock here? What a smooth operator! You must be some kind of… master of romance.”

“Wh- I… no? It’s just… I didn’t mean…” I fail miserably at catching the jest in her remark and continue to fumble awkwardly with words for a moment or two, “Not like that! You said we could hang out so… I just thought we could decide on something now but--”

Miki revels in a good laugh again but comes back from it rather fast, “Oh man you’re too easy. Chill out, I’m just kidding. I know what you meant. I don’t want to have to go dragging you back to the nurse’s again so soon, okay?”

I begin to un-tense and give her a small nod to say ‘alright.’ She starts off towards the girls’ dorm, taking a few backwards steps away from me.

“Don’t stress over it right now. We’ll just play it by ear and see how things go. There’s that festival coming up y’know,” Miki grins, “We could always find a way to make it interesting.”

“Maybe we could,” I say, slightly intrigued. I’ve been so caught up in the whirlwind of events during the past few days that the Festival this weekend has lapsed from my stream of consciousness.

“Hey!” I call after her, realizing something important, “What about track practice?”

“Missed most of it already. I didn't really feel like going though, so don't worry about it. Anyway, see you in class, Hisao,” she ends with a wink and a wave and is on her way.

I head inside the dorm and slide into my room, thankfully avoiding any ambushes by Kenji. I place the post-it note from the nurse next to my small army of pill bottles. Remembering his earlier suggestion, I fill up a big cup of water and chug it down in a matter of seconds. I feel refreshed, and realize that at some point my heartbeat must have settled down since I no longer feel nearly as agitated as I did before. The fatigue is still there, though, and the full wave of it washes over me as I just manage to pry my shoes off before I collide with my bed.

====================================

The next day, I make my way to class feeling progressively better. Yesterday seems like a distant memory already. Almost. That feeling quickly fades as I step into class and spot, among the very few students that are here right now, Shizune and Misha, chatting frantically. Well, I can only really assume it’s frantic based on how fast they’re signing. I have no way to know for sure. I get a tense feeling in my stomach, not because of what I ate for breakfast or anything. It’s that feeling you get when you have to do something you don’t want to because you know it’s going to be uncomfortable. I swallow my apprehension and close the gap between us with a few quick strides.

“’Morning Shizune, Misha,” I say, nodding to each of them. Shizune frowns slightly and Misha doesn’t look like she is bubbling over with glee for once. Huh, didn’t know that was even possible.

“Hi Hicchan,” Misha replies cautiously, signing her greeting to keep Shizune in the loop like usual. There is a pause, and we’re about one second away from an awkward silence here. Just get it over with already, Nakai.

I sigh and begin, “Look, I wanted to apologize for yesterday. I was a total ass and none of you deserved that.”

“No, you were right, Hicchan. Shicchan says that we shouldn’t have gotten you involved and that it was unfair to you.” Shizune? Talking about the concept of fairness? Now there’s something new… I glance over at Shizune and she gives a curt nod.

“Yeah but I shouldn’t have gotten mad like I did. I was…” I pause wondering how to say it. Do I give them the real reason or just some vague excuse? I feel kind of bad playing this card, but it’s something I need to get used to doing here now. “I was really out of it. Something happened with my medication. It’s sorted out now.”

A look of understanding flashes across Misha’s face and then Shizune’s as the translation comes through.

“You really didn’t seem like yourself at all yesterday, Hicchan. You should have told us if something was wrong,” Misha actually sounds legitimately concerned. She glances over at Shizune for a moment before continuing, “Shicchan says that she’s also responsible for the well-being of students as part of her duties. We would have taken you to the nurse’s if…”

“I know,” I cut in, not wanting this to start turning into a pity-party. It actually kind of bothers me that they’re being this nice after what I said, “It’s fine, really. I already went and saw him and I’m good now.”

“Really?” Misha shoots me an inquisitive look as if searching for doubt, but seems satisfied after a moment and declares, “Good! We need everyone at 100% for the festival! You wouldn’t want to miss out on the fun, would you Hicchan?”

“No, I guess not,” I say with an ambivalent shrug.

“By the way,” Misha is back in full chatterbox mode now, smiling slyly as both she and Shizune lean forward in unison, “Have you found a cute girl to take to the festival with you yet? Wahaha~”

I try to mask a frown before replying, “I’ve been here less than a week, but even if I—”

My response is interrupted by the classroom door swinging open and Mutou shuffling in briskly. It’s uncharacteristic of him, but seems to say that he means business for class today. Probably because he knows that everyone will get progressively more distracted as the weekend draws closer…

“I guess talk to you later,” I say quickly, taking advantage of the moment and giving them a ‘can’t be helped’ shrug. Their looks of anticipation seem to fade quickly as I turn towards my desk and sit down. I get the feeling that even though they were glad to accept my apology, the damage has already been done and that they really will leave me alone. Oh well.

====================================

Mutou’s entrance did end up setting the tone for the rest of the morning. As I step out into the hallway during lunchtime and head towards the cafeteria, my head is still swimming with all the different theorems and formulas we were bombarded with. His class was tough, and I’ll definitely need to spend some time looking over my notes later, but I think I’m actually starting to enjoy it. My stomach growls, its reserves clearly depleted after all the fervent note-taking.
Soon enough, I’m standing in line staring at the cafeteria menu and trying to decide what to get. Udon, ramen, curry, donburi. Pretty standard cafeteria fare... sort of. My appetite starts to diminish a little when I remember that most of these familiar dishes have been doctored in some way to try and raise their nutritional value or make them more easily digestible. What was that one thing that gives certain people trouble again? Gluten? Glucose? I think that second one is what diabet—

I’m jolted off my train of thought as a hand unexpectedly descends upon my shoulder, giving it a firm pat.

“Yo! Fancy meeting you here! Thanks for saving me a spot.”

I turn and see Miki now standing next to me in line, flashing me her trademark grin once again.

“Hey Miki. Sure, but I d—” I begin to say, but Miki raises a finger to her lips and makes a face like she is shushing me. I stop and glance over my shoulder quickly. The line behind me has grown quite long, and I see people giving Miki mild looks of annoyance.

“Oh come on, really?” I sigh, realizing she has just pulled out one of the oldest tricks in the book.

“Just roll with it, man. It’s all good,” she says clearly trying to make me feel a little less used, “Plus, I have a special, limited-time deal for you.”

“What’s that?”

“The opportunity to have lunch outdoors with two beautiful young ladies on a fine summer day. You’d be foolish not to take us up on it, my boy,” her arm slides off my shoulder and around my neck as she leans in a bit closer. Even though we were in close proximity like this yesterday, I wasn’t paying nearly as much attention as I am now. I can’t help but notice her warmth, and how a certain soft part of her is now pressing up against my arm.

After a moment of consideration, I manage to stammer, “Y-you’re the only one here, though.”

“Oh, right,” she pauses briefly, as if remembering what she was supposed to be doing in the first place, “A good friend of mine is out there saving us a spot. I’m in charge of getting the food.”

“Uh huh. You said it was a deal though,” I raise an eyebrow, “What’s the catch?”

“You’re paying!” she says with way more enthusiasm than I think is fair while tapping me on the chest with her bandaged wrist, “I left my wallet sitting in my bookbag upstairs. Don’t wanna go all the way back there to get it.”

“How convenient,” I sigh again.

“Don’t worry about it man,” Miki lets out a mirthful laugh, “What goes around comes around. I’ve got you.”

Although I’m not too thrilled by someone else deciding how the little amount of money I have in my wallet is spent, I decide that it would be nice to eat lunch with them. An image of me sitting alone on a bench in a far corner somewhere on campus flashes through my mind, and I suppress a shudder. Suddenly, the idea of buying food for Miki and her friend doesn’t sound so bad after all.

====================================

Having successfully beaten the rush and secured ourselves an assortment of breads and noodle-based goods, Miki and I carry our spoils outside and into the main courtyard. It is fairly empty, but there are a few groups of students scattered around here and there. It’s a pretty nice day after all. Sunny, but not too warm. Miki glances around as we make our way up the path, clearly searching for her friend.

“Ah! There she is,” she announces, turning to me and nodding over in the direction of a girl sprawled out along one of the grassy slopes off to the side. She has blue-ish green hair and is wearing a kneebrace, which helps me recognize her as the one who usually sits in the front row of our class. As we draw near, I see that her eyes are closed and she is clearly deep in the middle of a nap.

A few strands of hair have fallen across her face, which twinges with what looks to be some discomfort as she mumbles in her sleep, “Nnn... mmh... C-6... ”

Carefully placing the food on the ground, Miki kneels and leans over to give the girl a light shake. It's not very effective, so Miki bends down and plants a kiss on her forehead instead, “Rise and shine, princess.”

Surprisingly, this seems to work, and her eyes begin to flutter open. “Whbwuh?” she blurts, taking a moment to look around and survey her surroundings, “Oh, hi Miki. Did I miss lunch?”

“Nope! Rejoice, for not only have I brought lunch, but also... a boy!” Miki springs up and thrusts her arms outward towards me like some kind of gameshow hostess showing off a prize.

“Hi, I’m Hisao. Nice to meet you,” I say, bowing my head a bit since I’m still carrying the tray with most of our food on it.

“Hello I’m…” she pauses to stretch one arm out and give a long yawn, covering her mouth with the back of the opposite fist, “Suzu Suzuki. Class 3-3.”

“I know. I think I sit in the row behind you, but we haven’t really gotten a chance to talk yet.”

“Oh, right. You’re the new guy, aren’t you?” She’s now brushing off the side of her face that was buried in the grass—probably to make sure nothing is stuck there.

“He sure is,” Miki chimes in as she takes a seat to the right of Suzu, patting the ground next to herself and looking at me expectantly. I sit down slowly, taking care not to look like an idiot by spilling something.

“How are you liking Yamaku so far?” Suzu asks as Miki passes her a couple different types of bread.

“Things are... different, but I think I’m settling in okay,” I pause, recalling yesterday, “Well, thought I was..."

“It’s good that you met Miki then,” Suzu says in between bites while also trying to pull her kneebrace up a bit, “Miki's a great tourguide--she knows this place inside out.”

“Aw, you’re too kind, my sweet Snoozu,” Miki says while reaching over to ruffle her friend’s hair affectionately.

“Miki~” Suzu wails plaintively, dropping her bread as she tries to swat the hand away, “I told you I don’t like that n—”

“I know, I know,” Miki interrupts, “I’m sorry. You know I love to tease, haha.”

Suzu retrieves her bread and gives Miki a pouty look as she takes another bite.

“So Hisao,” Miki says, rounding on me now, “Tell us more about yourself! What do you do when you aren’t brawling it out with the Student Council and dazzling the ladies with your boyish charm?”

“I didn’t… wh- … even… come on!” I try to explain, but Miki just tosses her head back and laughs. Ah, she got me again. This will take some getting used to. I’ve got her number now, though. Next time.

I sigh and wait to reply until Miki’s laugh has died down to a giggle, “Well… I guess I like books. Did a fair amount of reading back when… when I was in the hospital.”

“That’s cool. Suzu likes reading too,” Miki notices my pause and presses forward, sparing me the task of having to say more about that time of my life, “She’s in the literature club. Right Suzu?”

Suzu gives a slow nod from behind her bread, but her eyelids droop slightly and she looks as if she is focusing most of her energy on trying to nod and chew simultaneously.

“How do you two know each other?” I ask, after finishing a mouthful of curry-rice.

“Mmm, good question,” while nodding with appreciation, Miki glances over at her counterpart, “Suzu and I go way back. I met her when I first got here and we just kind of… stuck.”

Suzu is about to say something in response, but as she opens her mouth she suddenly begins to tilt forward and collapses head-first into Miki’s lap, seemingly in slow motion.

“Woah-hoa! Ten point landing!” Miki exclaims, throwing her arms up. I’m confused and a bit shocked by what just happened, so I give Miki a quizzical look.

“Narcolepsy,” she says, anticipating the question, “Or spontaneous-nap-syndrome, as I like to think of it.”

“So you mean she just… falls asleep randomly like that? All the time?”

“Yep.”

“Oh wow. Isn’t that kind of dangerous?”

“Yep,” Miki says again, this time a little more softly, with a touch of something that sounds like sorrow. She gently strokes Suzu’s hair, looking down at the girl dozing peacefully in her lap, “It’s one of the reasons we’re friends, her and I. She’s a pretty special gal.”

I take a moment to marvel at the apparent closeness the two seem to share. It must be nice, having someone who can be there for you like that. To catch you when you fall. I put two and two together, realizing this might have been what Miki was referring to yesterday when she told me it “wasn’t the first time.” I smile and start to feel thankful again, but decide that it’s something I can ask her about later, so instead I go back to work on my lunch. A moment of silence passes and I decide to try for some smalltalk again.

“So… How’re things looking for the festival? Are you helping out with your club’s booth at all?”

“Oh man, don’t remind me,” she groans, showing that she is clearly in the same boat with the rest of the students making a frantic scramble to finish things up, “The team captain is being a real drama-queen about some of the last minute changes. We kind of had a hard time agreeing on what we all wanted to do.”

“What did you end up picking?” I ask.

“I don’t even know what you call it, but it’s one of those games where you have notches on a track and spin the wheel to decide how many spaces your guy moves forward until someone wins the race,” as Miki explains, she uses her hands to pantomime some of the motions for added effect.

“I know that one, yeah,” I nod my head in recognition, having seen it done at festivals back home a few times before, “Seems fitting for the club, doesn’t it?”

“Fitting, yes. Simple to make? Not really. You wouldn’t think so, but it’s been a huge pain getting all the parts painted and put together,” she replies.

“I bet everyone will like it, though,” I set my finished dish aside and glance over at the duo next to me, “Is Suzu going to come too?”

“Suzu…” Miki pauses, clearly searching for the right words to explain, “She doesn’t really do well with crowds. A nap in the wrong place could mean…” Miki starts to trail off.

“…getting stepped on by a whole lot of people,” I finish for her.

“Right. I tried to talk her into coming to see some of the other stalls with me so I can sneak out on my shift, but I think she’ll probably just find a place nearby to sit and read or something,” Miki finishes, sighing lightly.

“Well,” I decide to go out on a limb here, “I can stop by if you’d like. Suzu said you’re a decent guide, right? So maybe you can show me where all the good stuff is?”

Miki turns to me and I see her eyes light up just a little bit. She gives me a smile, but not her usual supernova one. This time it is much smaller and sweeter—a smile of gratitude.

“Yeah, I’d like that.”

====================================
<-Previous Chapter | Next Chapter->
Last edited by Meadows on Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:51 am, edited 7 times in total.
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Panthour
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Panthour »

Great chapter Meadows! Miki is great and you definitely have her personality down. I also loved the little reference to Suzu playing Battleship in her dream. Keep it up, I've enjoyed this thoroughly so far :)
S-Class Wizard. Emi is my waifu.
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Total Destruction
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Total Destruction »

This killed my lunch break in a good way.

:D
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Dippeggs
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Dippeggs »

Awesome, I love it when something new comes out here.

Just a little request, could you separate your sentences, like your first part? When it's just a wall of text it's much harder to read.
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Guest »

Another great addition, but as the guy above me said, double spacing please!

Looking forward to the next part.
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Helbereth
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Helbereth »

I was always a little put-off by the choices you had in "Cold War".

Either side with Lilly or side with Shizune.

That third 'tell them both to go pound sand' option was sadly lacking.

I'm interested to see where this goes.
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Mirage_GSM
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Mirage_GSM »

Nice story so far.
Two things:
First, it's a bit of a wall of text. Try to use more spacing.
Second, pairing Miki and Suzu as firends has been done a lot lately... Feels a bit repetitive.
Emi > Misha > Hanako > Lilly > Rin > Shizune

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Meadows
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Re: Miki Route (updated 6/24)

Post by Meadows »

Thanks for all your comments and support, everyone!
Dippeggs wrote:Just a little request, could you separate your sentences, like your first part? When it's just a wall of text it's much harder to read.
Haha, I guess it's a good sign when the only major criticism so far is on... double spacing. I apologize for that--it happened because just grabbed the text directly from my Pastebin. I've gone and fixed it now.
Mirage_GSM wrote: Second, pairing Miki and Suzu as firends has been done a lot lately... Feels a bit repetitive.
Sorry Mirage. While I can appreciate the value of "mixing it up" to keep things fresh, IMO the Miki/Suzu pairing is basically canon at this point and won't be going away anytime soon. :wink:
Once the story gets further into Act 2, Suzu won't be getting all that much screen-time.
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