Tea Gone Cold [WIP]
Posted: Fri May 25, 2012 12:57 pm
So I decided to for the first time in a few years write a fanfic, so I'm guessing I'm pretty rusty. Well, anyways; takes place right after Lilly's Neutral. Enjoy!
Tea Gone Cold
Chapter One - Restart
Lilly's hand can be seen waving through the tinted windows, both of our hands waving high as well.
Just as every other time I've done such things, I can't work out precisely why I, or Hanako, wave to her given that she has never seen us doing so. But it doesn't matter.
Even after that black, shiny car goes down the hill and disappears into the dark night, we carry on waving and seeing Lilly and Akira off.
And then... they're gone.
A strange stillness takes over as our hands return to our sides.
I don't quite know what I should do or how I should feel. In the end, we just stand there silently standing down at where the car disappeared from sight.
”Goodbye... Lilly,” Hanako whispers.
All I can do in response to her quiet, mournful goodbye is to place a hand on her shoulder.
She looks at me for a few moments before looking back down the hill, secure in the knowledge that I'm still around her.
What we'll do from now doesn't seem all that uncertain. We all have our own ambitions now, just as Lilly said.
But even so, it feels like there's a certain missing part in both our lives now. Something that can never be replaced.
I look at the girl who's shoulder lies beneath my hand, and I see as the first tear drops from her eye. It is followed by another one and then several more from both eyes, but she doesn't make a sound. I wouldn't be surprised if she stays quiet just in case Lilly would hear her and get regrets.Hanako, you're a nice girl.
I embrace her in my arms and she quickly puts her face in my chest. I feel her tears going through my shirt, but I don't care about it. Hanako needs this. I think I need it, too.
I let go of her and back away a little. She looks up at me and I feel a tear coming down my own face. The girl I love has just left the country for what could very well be the rest of her life, and now I stand here comforting my closest friend while she does the same to me. The tear drops from my face but is not followed by another one.
”Please... Hisao...” Hanako whispers with a voice so low I can't stand it. No one deserves to feel like this.
”Yeah, I know. I just think it's a girl shouldn't be crying outside in this cold weather,” I answer her, trying to make her feel better. I think I succeeded slightly.
I put my arm around Hanako's back and start leading us towards the girl's dorm. We walk slowly as she cries. A walk that usually would take one or two minutes takes ten, partially because I have to stop and hug her every few minutes.
I feel bad for not being able to cry with her. Something stops me from doing so, something stops me from actually feeling anything right now. Yeah sure, I'm trying to help Hanako, but that comes off more as instinct than anything. Nobody likes to watch anyone cry, less so if this someone is a friend, and right now Hanako's the only one I would call a real friend. I can't stand her crying.
We finally make our way to the building and I open up the door for her. We slowly escalate the stairs, now almost in a hug while walking.
”It's alright, I know this is painful. I'll help you all I can,” I whisper into her hair.
The picture of Lilly crying is stuck on my mind, and I know that she feels just like Hanako does right now, but she probably won't show it to anyone. I'm not sure if she'd even show that to me. ”It's alright.”
We find our way to Hanako's room and she unlocks the door. The door is opened and she walks in, followed by myself who closes the door. It'd just make it worse if someone saw her, so I lock it.
She falls down on her bed and I take a seat at the floor by her side. Her tears are coming down in floods as she grabs my arm and starts crying into it. It doesn't matter to me; helping Hanako gives me a reason to not be crying myself, instead of just feeling like nothing. I try to comfort her with words, even though I can't think of anything to say that would really help her, which makes me feel bad.
Hanako sits up and I make my way up to the bed myself before forming my arms around her. She lays back down and I follow without a thought. Her tears against my chest and neck are saddening to me, but I feel slightly bad knowing that they are giving me some comfort, too. We go on like this, lying with her face on my chest, her tears on my chest. Right against my scar.
We go on for a long time, and Hanako's breathing slowly goes down. After lying there for quite a while I can hear a slight snore from below my chin, and I realize that she's fallen asleep. I turn my head and find a clock that tells me that it's ten past ten. I guess I have to get to my own dorm, although I would like to stay here with Hanako, but it would just make it all worse if I were to start feeling something. I slowly take my arms away from her, lay a blanket on top of her and walk to the door. Before exiting I smile at the girl in the bed, who I hope will be able to take it better tommorow. She is going on a trip, after all.
I make my way to my own dorm and throw myself on the bed.
What should I do now? I've just had my heart broken and I don't feel a thing. What am I supposed to feel? Love? Hate? Maybe it is best not to feel anything. I have to be there for Hanako, and that'll be a lot easier if I don't have to think about what I have gone through.
Lilly...
I do love her, that's not something I can deny. My first (and what I hoped to be only) love... Was there anything I could've done? Of course not. This was her choice, I couldn't have done anything. It's for the better. I hope.
I try to sleep, but something hinders me. It's not like how it can be hard to sleep when thinking of someone, it's just empty. Nothing in my head, but I can't sleep. It sort of angers me, but I guess there's not much to do.
I look at my wristwatch and can, after some time, make the time out as a few minutes to four. Since the sun's just coming up by the edge of my curtains I'm assuming that it's in the morning. Since I can't sleep I decide I have to do something. Sitting up I look around my room; some stuff here, some stuff there. I settle my eyes on the origami bird Lilly made me and I once again begin to think.
Should I have done something tonight? Would she have wanted that? Get a cab and chase her to the airport?
I guess it's too late for that now. If I had thought of it earlier I probably would've done it, but now there's no use. They left hours ago, and in just over half a day they'll be in Scotland.
I drop my gaze from the bird and end up looking at my closet. I get an idea: Running. Emi always does it, and she looks so peaceful doing it: I might as well try. Changing quickly, I leave my room for the track field. Nobody in the entire school seems to be awake, and I don't run into any guards to tell me off or anything.
When I get to my goal I stare at what I'm going to do. My heart won't like this, but I guess I'd even prefer a heart attack to a broken mind right now, so I start running. I quickly feel my body getting tired from it, but I keep going. Soon, I lose it all and run at my fullest. Had I done this without this emotional war inside myself I'd gotten a heart attack quickly, but something keeps it away right now. Hate? Seems the most logical.
I continue running for long before I fall to my knees on and vomit. My heart catches up to me, and the sound of my quick heartbeat booms in my ears. I try to take deep breaths and after a few minutes it goes away. I let out the last my stomach holds before crawling to the bleachers and lying down. Not comfortable, but I guess I don't really have a choice now.
Glad for any criticism, I'm almost done with Chapter Two and will upload if this is appreciated.
Tea Gone Cold
Chapter One - Restart
Lilly's hand can be seen waving through the tinted windows, both of our hands waving high as well.
Just as every other time I've done such things, I can't work out precisely why I, or Hanako, wave to her given that she has never seen us doing so. But it doesn't matter.
Even after that black, shiny car goes down the hill and disappears into the dark night, we carry on waving and seeing Lilly and Akira off.
And then... they're gone.
A strange stillness takes over as our hands return to our sides.
I don't quite know what I should do or how I should feel. In the end, we just stand there silently standing down at where the car disappeared from sight.
”Goodbye... Lilly,” Hanako whispers.
All I can do in response to her quiet, mournful goodbye is to place a hand on her shoulder.
She looks at me for a few moments before looking back down the hill, secure in the knowledge that I'm still around her.
What we'll do from now doesn't seem all that uncertain. We all have our own ambitions now, just as Lilly said.
But even so, it feels like there's a certain missing part in both our lives now. Something that can never be replaced.
I look at the girl who's shoulder lies beneath my hand, and I see as the first tear drops from her eye. It is followed by another one and then several more from both eyes, but she doesn't make a sound. I wouldn't be surprised if she stays quiet just in case Lilly would hear her and get regrets.Hanako, you're a nice girl.
I embrace her in my arms and she quickly puts her face in my chest. I feel her tears going through my shirt, but I don't care about it. Hanako needs this. I think I need it, too.
I let go of her and back away a little. She looks up at me and I feel a tear coming down my own face. The girl I love has just left the country for what could very well be the rest of her life, and now I stand here comforting my closest friend while she does the same to me. The tear drops from my face but is not followed by another one.
”Please... Hisao...” Hanako whispers with a voice so low I can't stand it. No one deserves to feel like this.
”Yeah, I know. I just think it's a girl shouldn't be crying outside in this cold weather,” I answer her, trying to make her feel better. I think I succeeded slightly.
I put my arm around Hanako's back and start leading us towards the girl's dorm. We walk slowly as she cries. A walk that usually would take one or two minutes takes ten, partially because I have to stop and hug her every few minutes.
I feel bad for not being able to cry with her. Something stops me from doing so, something stops me from actually feeling anything right now. Yeah sure, I'm trying to help Hanako, but that comes off more as instinct than anything. Nobody likes to watch anyone cry, less so if this someone is a friend, and right now Hanako's the only one I would call a real friend. I can't stand her crying.
We finally make our way to the building and I open up the door for her. We slowly escalate the stairs, now almost in a hug while walking.
”It's alright, I know this is painful. I'll help you all I can,” I whisper into her hair.
The picture of Lilly crying is stuck on my mind, and I know that she feels just like Hanako does right now, but she probably won't show it to anyone. I'm not sure if she'd even show that to me. ”It's alright.”
We find our way to Hanako's room and she unlocks the door. The door is opened and she walks in, followed by myself who closes the door. It'd just make it worse if someone saw her, so I lock it.
She falls down on her bed and I take a seat at the floor by her side. Her tears are coming down in floods as she grabs my arm and starts crying into it. It doesn't matter to me; helping Hanako gives me a reason to not be crying myself, instead of just feeling like nothing. I try to comfort her with words, even though I can't think of anything to say that would really help her, which makes me feel bad.
Hanako sits up and I make my way up to the bed myself before forming my arms around her. She lays back down and I follow without a thought. Her tears against my chest and neck are saddening to me, but I feel slightly bad knowing that they are giving me some comfort, too. We go on like this, lying with her face on my chest, her tears on my chest. Right against my scar.
We go on for a long time, and Hanako's breathing slowly goes down. After lying there for quite a while I can hear a slight snore from below my chin, and I realize that she's fallen asleep. I turn my head and find a clock that tells me that it's ten past ten. I guess I have to get to my own dorm, although I would like to stay here with Hanako, but it would just make it all worse if I were to start feeling something. I slowly take my arms away from her, lay a blanket on top of her and walk to the door. Before exiting I smile at the girl in the bed, who I hope will be able to take it better tommorow. She is going on a trip, after all.
I make my way to my own dorm and throw myself on the bed.
What should I do now? I've just had my heart broken and I don't feel a thing. What am I supposed to feel? Love? Hate? Maybe it is best not to feel anything. I have to be there for Hanako, and that'll be a lot easier if I don't have to think about what I have gone through.
Lilly...
I do love her, that's not something I can deny. My first (and what I hoped to be only) love... Was there anything I could've done? Of course not. This was her choice, I couldn't have done anything. It's for the better. I hope.
I try to sleep, but something hinders me. It's not like how it can be hard to sleep when thinking of someone, it's just empty. Nothing in my head, but I can't sleep. It sort of angers me, but I guess there's not much to do.
I look at my wristwatch and can, after some time, make the time out as a few minutes to four. Since the sun's just coming up by the edge of my curtains I'm assuming that it's in the morning. Since I can't sleep I decide I have to do something. Sitting up I look around my room; some stuff here, some stuff there. I settle my eyes on the origami bird Lilly made me and I once again begin to think.
Should I have done something tonight? Would she have wanted that? Get a cab and chase her to the airport?
I guess it's too late for that now. If I had thought of it earlier I probably would've done it, but now there's no use. They left hours ago, and in just over half a day they'll be in Scotland.
I drop my gaze from the bird and end up looking at my closet. I get an idea: Running. Emi always does it, and she looks so peaceful doing it: I might as well try. Changing quickly, I leave my room for the track field. Nobody in the entire school seems to be awake, and I don't run into any guards to tell me off or anything.
When I get to my goal I stare at what I'm going to do. My heart won't like this, but I guess I'd even prefer a heart attack to a broken mind right now, so I start running. I quickly feel my body getting tired from it, but I keep going. Soon, I lose it all and run at my fullest. Had I done this without this emotional war inside myself I'd gotten a heart attack quickly, but something keeps it away right now. Hate? Seems the most logical.
I continue running for long before I fall to my knees on and vomit. My heart catches up to me, and the sound of my quick heartbeat booms in my ears. I try to take deep breaths and after a few minutes it goes away. I let out the last my stomach holds before crawling to the bleachers and lying down. Not comfortable, but I guess I don't really have a choice now.
Glad for any criticism, I'm almost done with Chapter Two and will upload if this is appreciated.