Bob's One-Shot Depository (Updated 6/4)

[BobBobberson]

Writing actual stories is stressful. Between Running Interference (Katawa Shoujo/Boku wa Tomadachi ga Sakunai) and New Prey (Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu), I get burnt out pretty fast. It's hard to avoid cliches and tropes with romance stories. So here I will post one-shots and drabbles that may or may not be crossovers from other fandoms, although hopefully you guys won't mind the crossover fics. Doesn't seem like most readers here like the idea of crossovers, but ehh whatever. Crossover stories will be labeled as such.

First Strike (TF2 Crossover, Feminist Conspiracy scenario)
Immovable Object (Harem route)
Fate (Separate post, Mirai Nikki Crossover)
The King's Game (Self-explanatory)
Heavy Risk, But the Prize...
Setup (TF2/KS Crossover)

First Strike
This was actually lying around on my computer for a while. Not sure what I was doing at the time when I wrote it...

"Oy, wake up dammniit!"

A jarring voice wakes me from my slumber. But when I open my eyes, I'm not at in my dorm at Yamaku. Instead, it appears I'm in the back seat of a moving car with a distressed Kenji shaking me. I push him away, but than I see that instead of the usual school uniform, he's wearing what appears to be a ghillie suit, with a long knife sheathed on his waist. Time to find out what's going on.

"What the hell, Kenji? What am I doing here!?" I ask. Either Kenji's gone off the deep end, or something serious went down.

"We're going to one of our safe houses! The feminists are starting to mobilize, and like it or not, Hisao, but you're one of our key players here." Kenji responds with an angry look on his face, although I think it's more him being mad at the feminists than at me.

"Safe house? what? How am I a key player here?" This is way too much for me right now. I should be exploding right now, but I still feel incredibly tired.

"Froggie, our driver here," With that the driver, a man wearing a pinstriped suit and a red balaclava, briefly nods to me before turning back to driving. "is taking us to Tokyo. From there, we can lay low until our transport arrives to get us off the country. I can't explain much about your significance right now, except that the feminists are after you. once we get to the safe house, I can give you the full story"

Feminists after me? I'm not sure if Kenji's finally lost it, but I have to keep asking. He's throwing away my life as I know it for God's sake. And I still feel so weak I can't even gather the strength to suddenly open the car door and jump out.

"That still doesn't explain why I woke up in a damn car, Kenji." I try to keep the anger out of my voice as I struggle to talk. I'd like to get all the 'facts (insert airquotes here) before I get enough energy to go off on him or attempt to escape.

"Dude, I fucking saved your ass! I was coming back from some intel-gathering around 3 AM when I noticed your door was wide open. So, I'm thinking, 'Ok, I should check up on you. No one leaves their door open in the middle of the night.' But when I got inside, I see this figure with pinkass hair covering your face with a handkerchief, it was little Ms. Wahahaha~! Misha." Kenji says that last name with contempt, forcing himself to say it.

"Wait what? Misha smothered me with a handkerchief??" This story is getting more and more unbelieveable by the second. Why would she do that?

"Yeah man, so I did to that bitch what I've been wanting to do for a while, decked her right in the face. Knocked her out cold. Didn't have time for questions." At that last sentence, Kenji mimics a right hook, presumably for dramatic effect. Well, at least I could see Kenji hooking Misha, and I somehow have a small chuckle at the image.

"Anyways, I tried shaking you awake, but you wouldn't get up. So it was one of those drugged hankies she used on you probably. But while I was shaking you, the deaf one tried backstabbing me. Silent as hell, that one. Didn't hear her sneak up, and you know how shitty my eyes are" Kenji twists his arm a bit to show a bleeding gash on his left tricep. "Like I said though, women are horrible at stabbing things. So I hooked her as well. But when she fell down, her cell phone dropped from her pocket, so I took that shit. Oh, and while I was dragging you out, I made sure to get your phone as well. Once I saw what was on her phone, I called for an emergency evac, and here we are now."

Kenji takes out two cell phones, one pink and one black. I recognize the black one as mine, so I reach to take that first. But he pulls the phone away, offering the pink one after pressing a few buttons.

"This one's Shizune's, what's on it should be all the proof you'll need." Kenji says quietly. For some reason, he's acting a lot calmer than I'd expect if one of his feminist doomsday scenarios actually happened. But all the same, I take the open pink cell phone and look at the screen.

From: Lilly
Time: 1:17 AM

The schedule's been pushed up. Kidnap Subject H and get him to the lab. He's the last piece we need before we can start the revolution. Bring Misha.

I drop my jaw in horror. Kenji might be right with this feminazi conspiracy, but a small side of my brain is still arguing that this could be a joke. As if sensing my reluctance, Kenji hands me my phone as well.

"Call Shizune on your phone. If I'm bullshitting you, it won't ring." He says with a straight face. Damn, he's getting really serious now.

I fumble with the buttons as I select Shizune on my contacts list. Pressing the 'Call' button, I hold my breathe. Seconds start to feel like hours, as I look down at the pink phone on my left hand. The beep on my phone is the only sound I can hear, until a cheery ringtone breaks the spell. Looking down, I see the pink phone ringing, but where it said who was calling, it read "Subject H".

Oh God, he's right. Kenji's right. All this time I thought he was delusional, but that fucker was actually right!

"Now, do you believe me? I wouldn't do this if I didn't think you were in danger, Hisao. But from what I've gathered, you are. And we can't let you fall into feminist hands. Shit's going to go down, and we need every man we can get." Kenji says, placing a hand on my shoulder.

"Ah, I see. Well thanks, Kenji." I trail off into silence. This is a lot of information to take in, and there's still the possibility of this not appearing to be what it is. But I've seen enough to at least go with Kenji and this Froggie back to the safe house.

Kenji removes his hand from my shoulder, now tending to his gash by pressing a piece of gauze against it. As he pulls out some gauze tape from the pockets behind the driver seat, I decide to ask the obvious.

"What'd you do with Shizune and Misha when you left anyways?" I ask, curious to what he did. I doubt he just left them lying on the floor, after all.

"I gagged them and locked them in your closet. They'll be found eventually though, Lilly and whoever she's working for will probably realize that those two are gone for too long." Kenji says nonchalantly.

"Oh...smart thinking." That's really all I can say about that. At least Kenji's thorough when it comes to these kind of situations.

"Froggie, how far until we get to the safe house?" Kenji asks as he wraps up his cut with the rest of the gauze.

"It'll be about another hour. You two should get some rest. Oh, and Hisao, here." While his Japanese is fluent, it's obvious that he has a strong accent, French if I'm not mistaken. The masked man reaches into the vacant passanger seat and shows me an ornate pistol. A picture of a woman is engraved into the silvery barrel of the gun, and it has a shiny wooden handle. "I believe it is in both yours and our group's interest that you are armed." He demonstrates how to work the safety with one hand (He's actually driving with the other hand and looking ahead) and then hands it to me. I check to see if the safety is on like he demonstrated, than stow it on my pocket. Looking back over at Kenji, he's leaning on his side of the car, trying to catch some Zs. It looks like he's failing though, as the fidgeting and wincing gives him away.

I can't even bother trying to sleep after this. In just one night, my world's been turned upside down, and everything I've known may just be one big lie. Well everything except Kenji and his feminist conspiracies. I lean back on my own seat, staring at the window next to me. This is going to be a long, long, day.

The hour passes by remarkably quick, even with the silence that's permeated the car after Kenji's explanation. The car eventually pulls up into what appears to be a very posh upper-class house, with a fountain sprinkling water in the lawn. Froggie pulls into the garage door, which opens automatically for the car. As soon as he parks, the three of us get out of the car, and Kenji motions for me to follow him.

Walking through the hallways of the house, it seems as normal as any other house I've been into. Until Froggie opens a door into what appears to be stairs leading down to the basement. Kenji goes down, and I quickly follow him, Froggie taking up the back.

At the bottom of the stairs, a giant metal door greets me, with the usual numerical keypad on the right side. Kenji keys in a few digits, then the door opens with a hiss to reveal...a hard-hatted man wearing goggles and overalls frantically typing into agiant control console, complete with numerous monitors, each displaying data that I can't comprehend at the moment.

"Oyy, Kenji, we got a problem!" The hardhat frantically declares. There's an odd accent on him that I can't quite put my finger on. "RED's just detected four choppers, all heading our way! I think they knew where you and Spah would bring Subject H."

"Ermm, excuse me!" I interrupt irritably. "I have a name, it's Hisao."

The hardhat, taking back by my rudeness, rubs his temples with his left hand before extending his right gloved hand to me.

"Sorry, son, I'm just a bit cranky. Y'know, sleep deprivation and the chance we'll get ambushed and killed and stuff. Name's Cowboy, or at least that's my code name anyways." He introduces himself.

I take his hand and shake it. Then suddenly Kenji intervenes.

"Ok, the pleasantries are cool and all, but we gotta start setting up defenses against the feminist raid, so Cowboy you-"

Boom! The wall in front of me explodes. I was kinda expecting to experience that scene from...Saving Private Ryan? I think that's what the movie was called, but I was disappointed. Gunfire immediately erupts from the 'renovations' to the wall, and I find myself being dragged by Froggie into cover.

"Hisao, now might be a good time to take our your gun." Froggie advises, pulling out a snub-nosed revolver from his jacket.

Following his cue, I pull out the elegant revolver he lent me bac in the car. I've never held a gun before, but from all the movies I've seen, I think I know how to aim. Looking over to the other side, I see Cowboy returning fire with a shotgun, and Kenji reloading what looks to be an assault rifle of sorts.

The gunfire from the opposite side of the wall subsides for a moment, so I pop out from the rubble Froggie pulled me to to return fire. Extending my arms fully, I close on eye so I can aim down the sights of the pistol. I then notice the getup of the invaders for the first time. THeir garb is similar to most modern military getups, except their color scheme is a light purple. I'm not sure what the point of such a color is, but I don't have time to think about that right now. Noticing a newcomer scrambling over the debris into the house, I take aim for the chest, the largest mass of the body, and pull the trigger.

BOOM! The revolver makes a loud noise, and the recoil is enough to swing my arms upward. The feminists notice my vulnerability and start to spray my way. I have no time to confirm whether I actually hit the woman, as I dive back into cover before I get shredded to pieces.

"H-hold your fire!" A distinct voice yells from the hole, although for a yell it's pretty quiet. Strangely enough, I seem to recognize the voice, although I can't put my finger on it. Froggie peeks over the rubble to see if they're actually holding their fire. With a small nod, he gestures at me to look up.

Poking my head above the rubble, a shocking sight is exposed to my eyes. Hanako steps forward into the no-mans land between us men and the feminists. Ironically, she's wearing the casual clothes she wore on our trip to the city.

"Hanako? You're in on this too?" I ask in disbelief.

"Y-yes I am." Even with this situation, she still acts as shy and quiet as she did back in school. "I-I'm afraid you're going to have to come with us, Hisao."

"And what if I refuse?" I raise the pistol up. The feminists behind her ready their weapons, but Hanako raises a hand up, which puts them back at ease.

"We kill your friends here, than we knock you out than torture you until we get what we want from you." Hanako shrugs. "If you come quietly, they'll be unharmed."

"Yeah, because you'd totally hold up your end of the deal, you scarred bitch!" Kenji yells from his side.

"Oh, K-Kenji's here too? That must explain how Shizune and M-Misha failed." Hanako notes. "I-I guess we should capture you as well."

"Yeah I don't think so. In fact..." Kenji glances down into what appears to be a GPS or communicator. "You should be more worried about yourself right now, more specifically, your scarred head."

"W-what're you talking about?" Hanako answers angrily. She swivels around, trying to see what danger Kenji's talking about, when her head explodes into a fine red mist.

"Attack!" Kenji yells, vaulting over the desk he'd been using for cover and spraying bullets towards two nearby feminists, who end up getting riddled with bullets. Cowboy follows Kenji's lead, ripping off the glove in his right hand to reveal a mechanical hand.

"Sentry going up!" Cowboy declares, somehow producing a toolbox and setting it into the ground. It starts to self-assemble into a small turret, complete with small siren above its head. It proceeds to start shooting at the retreating feminists.

Poking out of cover to give Kenji covering fire, I notice several other feminists heads explode into a red mist.

"Proceed!" Froggie orders, beckoning me to follow him. He sends precise shots onto the few feminists remaining, crippling them. By reflex, I raise my revolver to finish them off, aiming for the head or heart. One would think I'd have qualms about taking a human life, but I have no choice in the matter right now.

Soon enough, we clear the area around the house of feminists. Their strike force must've been smaller than I thought it was.

"Damn, that was a close one." Kenji said.

"No shit it was! We were about to get slaughtered before heads start to explode!" I yell.

"Oh, that? I guess we should get him down here so you can thank him properly for saving your ass."

"No need for that mate, already down here." An Australian voice said from behind me. I spin around to see a lanky, sunglasses wearing man walk towards me, slinging his sniper rifle onto his shoulder. He's wearing a hat of a style I don't recognize, and an insignia of crosshairs is emblazoned on his red shirt's sleeves.

"Codename's Kangaroo. Was on my way here when I noticed the ruckus. So I set up on a house near here with a good line of sight. Good thing the owners weren't home, hehe." The newcomer chuckles awkwardly at that last bit.

"Oh, I'm Nakai Hisao. But I guess you can call me Hisao. Kenji, what's next?" I ask. So far, he seems to be in command of this little operation.

"Well, we may have won the battle, but this war isn't over yet. We have to get the entire Team together before we proceed."

"What do we proceed with after?" I inquire.

"Cutting off the head of the snake. I do believe you're familiar with her, actually. If my intelligence is right, you both lost your virginities to each other." Kenji explained.

Oh fuck, there's only one person in the world he's talking about right now.

"Lilly?"

"Yep. The blind bitch. They have a plan that they can't proceed with without you, and as long as these guys are around," Kenji beckons to the three older men standing beside him. "They're not going to get your hands on you."

"Yep, not gonna let those bloody sheilas do what they're doing. Not as long as we're around." Kangaroo enthusastically adds, pulling a cigarette from his chest pocket.

"Indeed, zhey will feel the power of men soon enough." Froggie throws in, tossing a lighter to Kangaroo.

"Anyways, we better head out before the authorities arrive. Hell, I'm surprised they aren't here already." Cowboy tells to the rest of us.

"Indeed, Kangaroo, take us to your ride." Kenji orders. "Let's go, Hisao."

With no other choice, I follow Kenji and the rest of the group as we walk away from the now ruined house and into the street. In one night, my life has been irreversibly thrown upside-down, and the only way to survive is to stick with this ragtag team for now. Maybe once we eliminate Lilly...the woman I loved...no, still love, I can lead a normal life. But for now...

Taking out the speed reloader for my revolver, I load six more bullets onto the chamber. You never know when a firefight will happen.

[Roamin12]

Normally I would shudder at Hanako getting her head blown off, but the scenario is so random, over-the-top, and outright ridiculous that I really didn't have much of a reaction to that. I was entertained.

[MystiKnight]

Ahaha! That was great. Random, stupid, but hilarious. Nothing like a crazy storyline to brighten up your day.

La Grammar Nazi Mode;

"Proceed!" Spy orders, beckoning me to follow him..

..The masked man reaches into the vacant passanger seat and shows meme an ornate pistol.

So the guy that looked and sounded like Spy actually was Spy! I thought he was Froggie D=

[BobBobberson]

Ahaha! That was great. Random, stupid, but hilarious. Nothing like a crazy storyline to brighten up your day.

La Grammar Nazi Mode;

"Proceed!" Spy orders, beckoning me to follow him..

..The masked man reaches into the vacant passanger seat and shows meme an ornate pistol.

So the guy that looked and sounded like Spy actually was Spy! I thought he was Froggie D=

Fixed the errors, thanks for pointing them out. Like I said, I have no idea what I was doing when I wrote this. These one-shots are fun though, less pressure because I don't have to think of a follow-up to it.

[BobBobberson]

Immovable Object (Potential harem route situation) Influenced by animes where main female characters outnumber male characters by a ratio of at least 3:1, intentional or otherwise, like Seitokai no Ichizon, Boku wa Tomadachi ga Sakunai, and Seitokai Yakuindomo.

"Ahhhhhhh." I yawn, stretching my limbs outward in an attempt to get my body working again. I had just finished another science club meeting, and Mutou had already left the classroom. I chose to stay, if only to enjoy the quiet atmosphere of an empty classroom. Packing my books in my case, I get off my desk and head to the hallways.

The school during this time is a good place to relax and get your thoughts together. Most of the clubs are doing their own thing in their rooms, and there are many secluded places to hide and do whatever you need to do, including some more...perverted things. Not that I would know anything about that.

Arriving at the main lobby, I'm about to head outside when a painfully familiar voice fills my eardrums.

"Hisao!!" Misha yells from the hallway leading to the Student Council room. Shizune follows behind her, looking as calm as ever.

I consider making a bolt for the exit, but Misha's already upon me, latching onto my arm to prevent me from escaping.

"What do you want, Misha?" I ask despondently.

"Shicchan and I just finished up Student Council work and we're about to go down to the Shanghai! Would you like to join us?"

"Er..." I was not expecting this turn of events. While a trip to the Shanghai would be great, I'm not exactly in the mood to deal with Shizune and Misha right now.

While Misha tries to push me towards the lobby, another newcomer calls out from the stairs.

"Hey look, it's Hisao." The deadpan voice of Rin calls out.

Rin, followed by a grinning Emi, arrive at the stairs landing.

"Hisao! We're going to the park down by the town! You wanna join us?" Emi asks, seemingly not noticing Misha trying to pull me away.

"Excuse me, Ibirazaki, but Hisao's coming with us! Not you!" Misha angrily counters. Looking over at Shizune, it appears she's not too happy about the newcomers as well, if her frown is any indicator.

Emi runs up to me and grabs my other arm, trying to pull me her way. I'm in the middle of a tug-of-war, as the damn rope. What the hell?

"Can you guys, oh, I don't know, LET GO OF ME?" I shout out.

"No!" Both Misha and Emi yell back.

I would facepalm, but my arms are being held hostage right now. If a random person walked in on this sigh right now, they'd either back away quietly or start laughing uncontrollably.

"Ara ara, what's this commotion about?"

Ugh great, another pair. Going from coincidence, I'm guessing Lilly and Hanako just arrived at the stairs landing right now.

"Umm, these two here are attempting to drag me against my will to town, can you help me?" I explain. I'd turn around to face them, but it's remarkably hard to do so when your arms are being stretched in opposite directions.

"W-well we were actually looking for you, Hisao. We're going to have another tea p-party." Hanako quietly stutters.

"Well you're not having him!" Emi yells at Hanako and Lilly. "Rin and I are taking him down to the park!"

"You're mistaken, Ibarazaki! Hisao is ours!" Misha shouts.

They redouble their efforts to pull me away from their opponent, and something snaps inside me. In a feat of inhuman strength, I wrench my hands free from Misha and Emi, who yelp in surprise as I back away from them to get some breathing space.

"I dunno why you girls decided to just go 'find me' on the one day I want to be alone. But seriously, back the fuck up. Emi, Misha, you may want to learn how to tell when someone doesn't want want to go do stuff with you guys. I'm out."

With those harsh words, I spin around and stalk out of the lobby, leaving three pairs of dumbstruck girls outside. Of course, waiting outside the front doors was Rika and Saki.

"Hey Hisao, Rika and I were jus-"

"Out of my way, bitches!" I roar, interrupting Saki. Saki immediately shuts up, being the only one smart enough to take a cue when someone isn't in the mood.

This increase in blood pressure from the anger can't be good, but right now, I don't care. Ever since I came here, I've had a feeling that many girls were trying to 'hop on my dick', or at least that's what the translation from English says. Jeez, it's like my penis is a rare commodity or something. Aren't there other guys those eight can go after? As much as I like company of the opposite sex, even I want some alone time every now and then. I hope I conveyed that to those eight today.

[nemz]

"No Hisao. You are the feminists." and then he was Kenji.

[BobBobberson]

The King's Game (Self explanatory really, inspired by this video and a scene from the Boku wa Tomadachi ga Sakunai, the light novel)

"So are we all here? Wahaha~!" Misha asks. For some reason that I will never know, she's managed to corral the six girls I invited to our small post-festival party into playing something known as the King's Game. Too bad I have no idea how to play it.

"Yeah." "Y-yes." "Present." "Huh?" "Yep!"

The voices of Emi, Rin, Lilly, Hanako, Rika, and Saki respond. I'm kind of surprised Hanako hasn't run out on us yet, but I guess the small bits of encouragement Lilly says to her every so often has boosted her resolve. Misha motions us to sit around a round table that holds a small bowl with paper lots in it. I take a seat first, but then everyone suddenly rushes in, trying to sit next to me. Huh.

"Ok, everyone here except Hisao knows how to play, right?" Misha asks us.

"Yeah, I can explain the rules for Hisao." Emi chimes in.

"The rules of the King Game is that we put in pieces of paper equivalent to the number of participants, which is...eight! One of the pieces of paper will have the word King in it, while the other paper has the numbers one through eight on it. We each pull a lot from the bowl, and whoever is King gets to order the others around with their numbers!"

"Yeah, but the King doesn't know who has which number, that's the catch. At least, if you try to keep it that way." Lilly adds.

"How will you know what lot you have, Lilly?" I ask. Seems like a pretty big oversight to me.

"Hanako can tell for me. "

Hanako gives a small nod at that, looking a bit confident. That's something I don't see everyday.

"So for example, the king can order number 2 to slap number 5, or tell number 8 to do a pole dance." Saki clarifies.

"And the king's orders are..."

"ABSOLUTE!" The rest of the girls (except Shizune) yell.

This is going to be bloody, I know that much. We all reach over and grab one of the lots from the bowl.

"You people ready?" Rika asks, holding up her folded lot.

We all nod at her question.

"One...Two..."

"Who's the king?!" The girls yell out, raising their lots outward. I'm not quite sure what happened there, but I end up being the only fool not to do what they just did.

"Hicchan, you gotta do that 'Who's the king' shout too! It's no fun if you don't!"

"Fine fine, I'll do it next time."

We all open our lots to see what we drew.

"Fuuu-" "Arrgh." The sounds of disappointment can be heard from throughout the table. Shizune's even gone so far as to slump over the table in defeat.

"Hey look, I got it!" Emi declares, waving the now unfolded lot with the symbol "King" on it happily.

I drew unlucky number 7. Hopefully Emi won't order me to do anything stupid.

"Now I order...number 7 to slap number 5 in the ass really hard!"

FUCK!

"What?! What kind of order is that?" I protest.

I show my lot for everyone to see. In response, everyone else shows their lots...looks like number 5 is...Lilly?!

"Oh dear, this is quite the predicament." Lilly calmly comments on the situation. For someone whose butt is about to get slapped, she's taking it awfully well.

"I can't just go slap Lilly, especially down there!"

"Too bad, Hicchan! After all, the king's orders are"

"Absolute, yes we know that Misha." With Hanako's guidance, Lilly gets up and leans on the table, presenting her backside.

"No need to feel apprehensive, Hisao. After all, we all agreed to play this." Lilly encourages.

I slowly get up and walk over to Lilly. If I was a pervert, I would be so turned on right now. Hell, I'm not a pervert, but Lilly's butt really is...out there.

"No light taps either, Hisao! Gotta be a hard one!" Emi taunts from the other side of the table.

Ahh screw it, I must show that I'm no coward. I bring back my arm and swing it down in an arc. My outstretched hand meets Lilly's ass, and the resulting sound is surprisingly loud. And oh God, her ass feels really good. In a show of self-control, I quickly pull my hand away before I do something perverted like squeeze the cheeks ot something.

Lilly takes her seat, not looking at all affected by the new handprint I left on her backside. I take my own seat as well, and we fold back the lots and replace them on the bowl.

"S-so I guess naughty orders are done too..." Hanako notes.

"Y-you've never played this before, Hanako?" Saki asks while we wait for Misha to mix the bowl around.

"N-no, I knew the rules and things though."

"Okay, round two!" Misha declares!

We all take lots again. Now that I think about it, I have a couple of choice orders if I'm king.

"One...Two..."

"Who's the king?!" We all roar. I join in on the roar and in raising the lot this time, and I have to admit it's pretty cool.

"Goddammit!" No!" Again, the moans of dejection can be heard from the table. It looks like I drew number 1. Damn.

"Hey look." Rin waves her right foot, with the lot declaring King wedged between her toes. She still has the same deadpan look on her face though.

I notice Shizune signing furiously to Misha, but it looks like whatever Shizune was saying must've been offensive, as Misha says "Shicchan, that's rude of you!" before abruptly closing her mouth after noticing the stares she's been attracting.

"So, what's your order?" Emi asks Rin.

Rin doesn't move for a couple of seconds, before abruptly shaking her head, as if snapping out of a trance.

"Uhh, I guess number 4 should give me a piggyback ride to the track and back."

That's an odd order. At least it's not as dirty as Emi's.

No one moves to verify that they're number 4, until Misha signs something to Shizune. Sighing, Shizune stands up, waving the paper that said '4' on it.

"Hehe, the Student Council president's my horse. That's funny." Rin says. Shizune gives Rin a glare of pure hatred, before lowering her back so Rin can climb on. As soon as Rin wraps what passes for arms around Shizune's neck, they quietly stalk off, presumably towards the track. The sight is so surreal that as soon as we think they're out of earshot, the rest of us start to laugh uncontrollably.

When Rin and Shizune come back, Shizune deposits Rin at her chair before going to her own seat. She's got that look again, which means I feel sorry for whoever gets ordered around next if she's the King. She signs more symbols to Misha, who simply laughs in response before placing the bowl back in the center.

After grabbing lots again, the tense moment starts again.

"One..Two..."

"Who's the king?!"

Quickly opening my lot, it looks like I have...3. Ahhhhhh! I slam my fist down in frustration...wait, when did I get into this game?!

"Haha, looks like I'm the king!" Saki declares, waving the king's lot. "Let's see...I order numbers one, five, and eight to strip into their underwear! And they can't redress themselves until the game is done"

W-what...

"You are aware that there is a guy in the room, right?" I point out, showing my number.

"Yeah I know, that's the point. I figured you might be getting bored of this game by now, so I spiced things up a bit!" Saki flashes me a mischievous smile at that. You are one dirty girl... "So who's one, five, and eight?"

Slowly, the rest of the girls show their numbers to us. One is Emi, five is Rika, and eight is Misha.

"D-do we have to do it?" Emi meekly asks, looking despondent.

"Of course you have to, you even explained the rules yourself!" Saki replies. "Now go on, strip!"

"Just do it, Emi. You don't see me or Misha complaining." Rika says. Wait...she's already stripped! Her bra and panties are both black, which is a nice contrast to her near pale skin and white hair. I'm surprised she had the gall to strip in front of everyone, but then again she's going to be like that for the rest of the game.

"Do you like what you see, Hisao?" Rika winks at me. Oh god, I want to say yes, but I don't want to do anything blatantly perverted. So the most I do is give a small nod and leave it at that.

From the other side of the table, I see Misha confidently throwing off her clothes as well. Do these girls have any shame? Not that I'm complaining, of course. I am still a hot-blooded teenager after all. She's definitely a bit chubbier than Rika, but her boobs and butt are bigger as a result. I'm not sure why, but I kinda expected her to have pink underwear, so I was slightly disappointed when it turned out she's wearing a plain white bra with pink polka dotted panties.

"I was getting hot anyways! Wahaha~!" Misha laughs. She certainly has no qualms about this either.

"I g-guess I'm next..." Emi mutters. She slowly unbottons her blouse to reveal a purple bra supporting her rather small chest. Putting that aside, she gets to work on taking off her skirt, which proves a bit cumbersome thanks to the prosthethics. Again, the bottom matches the top, although my eyes betray me and stray to her ass, which is also not impressive.

I'm not sure if I'm hallucinating at this point, but I think Emi's giving Rika and Misha envious looks at their bigger...err..assets, to say the least.

"See, that wasn't so hard, wasn't it?" Saki chides, placing the lot back into the bowl. "Now Hisao won't fall asleep!"

Yeah I won't fall asleep...for a different reason anyways.

The rest of the girls don't react to this spectacle, seeing that it happens in the girls locker room on a daily basis.

Looking down at my watch, it looks like it's about 11:30.

"Hey, it's almost midnight. You think we can still go on with this?" I point out.

Misha and Shizune consult each other with a quick signing session before turning back to us.

"I think we've got time for one more round, Hicchan!"

"Good! I need to put on some clothes!"

"Stop fussing about it, Emi. You don't see me complaining."

The final round. After the lots are scrambled, we all proceed to take one lot. The tension of the draw is palpable.

"One...two....Who's the king?!" We all roar.

The room falls silent as we open our lots...

"Looks like I'm the king." I point out, waving the lot for all to see.

Again, the moans of disappointment fill the table. Not that I can blame them, it is the last round after all.

"Anyways, let's see..."

While I'm pondering on my order, I notice eight stares boring into my head. What do they want from me? The perverted side of my brain is whispering that they want you to order them to do perverted things to you, but no! I must stay strong! I won't fall to you, fucked up side of my brain!

Not knowing which girl is which, I shrug. They're all equally attractive in their own way.

"I order number four and number two to make out for thirty seconds! And there will be tongue!"

Yep, the perverted side won, but I compromised and made it to that the girls have to do it to each other.

No one says a word to this, they silently show each other their lots.

"I-I guess...I'm up." Hanako says, holding up the lot with the number two written on it.

Who's number four...looking around, it looks like...Saki's number four! I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited to see those two make out.

"You're such a pervert, Hisao." Saki tries to admonish me, but the cheerful tone in which she says it ruins the effect. "But still..."

Saki gets up and walks over to Hanako, who now looks like she's regretting joining the game. Saki suddenly sits down on Hanako's lap, shutting down any chance of escape. The rest of the crowd looks on with interest, especially Misha, who moved around to get a better view. I lean back from my chair and rest my head on my hands to enjoy the view.

Straddling Hanako, Saki gently takes Hanako's head and brings it to hers, their lips meeting. It's light at first, but Saki soon gets forceful, and I see her tongue trying to invade Hanako's mouth. Never having been kissed before, I'm not sure whether you're supposed to be seeing the tongue from out here, but I don't care. All the other guys in the school would kill to see this right now. We can only gape as this continues for the allotted thirty seconds. I silently take my phone out and take a picture using the camera feature for posterity. No need for them to know they're being photographed.

When they're finished, Saki calmly pulls away and sits back in her seat, leaving a stunned Hanako.

"Well, that was pretty hot, dont'cha think, Hanako?" Saki asks.

Hanako's left wordless after this, not that I can blame her. I'd be stunned too if a hot girl came up to me and swapped fluids with me.

"S-so, I guess we're done here, right?" Misha nervously says. The atmosphere's gotten very awkward, and we all want to get back to our rooms.

"Yep! I'm gonna go sleep, bye!" I rush out of the room before anyone can say anything. I have to go relieve some lower body stress. The events of my first King's Game is going to last in my mind for a long long time.

[Total Destruction]

Hisao somehow has more stones here than in the entire visual novel, hahah. I read the title and confused it with King's Cup, which would've been a very different experience indeed.

Dig it!

(Also, the two bars in your sig make a really unnerving, almost convincing face and it's making me lawl like crazy. Scar(r)y drills.)

[BobBobberson]

Heavy Risk, But the Prize... (Inspired from a scene of Baka to Test, the light novel)

Blah, if I wasn't so bad in English, I wouldn't be in this godforsaken empty classroom in a study group with people who clearly don't need to be in a study group for English: Lilly Satou, Shizune Hakamichi, Misha Mikado, and Saki Enomoto.

"Oy, Hicchan, wake up!" Misha chides from across the table we're working at.

"Yeah yeah, I'm up. God, English is so hard. Why can't the world just learn Japanese?" I complain, stretching my back.

"It's because English is one of the most widespread languages out there," Lilly calmly explains, running her fingers through her braille book. "While Mandarin and Spanish have more speakers, they're mainly concentrated in one or two areas, while English speakers can be found everywhere."

"Ah, I guess you have a point."

Sighing, I get back to reading the English textbook. I must work hard to avenge the 43 I got in the last test. Getting embroiled in the text, I find myself getting into a roll, gaining an understanding of how past tenses work. I'm about to make a breakthrough when...

"Hey Hisao, you have any other plans after we disband?" Saki asks, poking my head to get my attention.

"Really? I was just about to get past tenses down." I complain. "But no, not really. Why?"

"Well I have nothing to do tonight, so I was wondering if you wanted to head up to my room, Hisao." Saki winks at me seductively. Wait, don't tell me she wants to...

"Shicchan says go to hell! Hicchan's coming with us to Shicchan's room after we're done!" Misha interjects.

"I believe I'm going to have to interrupt here, Misha. Hisao will be assisting me up to my room after this study group disbands. I need help with...something." Lilly struggles to end that last sentence, lamely finishing it with 'something'.

"Umm, hello? I think I should be determining where I go tonight." I say, looking confusedly at the girls glaring daggers at each other.

"NO!" The resounding shout from them makes me recoil.

"So how do we decide who gets Hisao?" Saki asks, a mischievous look on her face.

"How about a mock English test? I brought a few of them with me to test our capabilities in English after we studied. Whoever gets the highest score gets Hisao for the night." Lilly answers.

"Uh, hello? Why are you treating me like some carnival prize?"

None of the girls respond to my question. They must really be caught up in the heat of the moment. Shizune and Misha sign to each other for a moment, before Misha speaks up.

"Shicchan says deal! There's no way she'd lose to you!" Misha happily exclaims. Even though she has no stake in this, she's pretty excited herself.

"What about you, Saki? Do you wish to partake in this contest?" Lilly asks.

"Of course! I can't let you either of you drag my darling Hisao away from you! You're going to regret teaching me English, Lilly!" Saki responds.

"Very well," Lilly slowly feels her way through a pile of papers before pulling out a folder. "Misha, would you kindly hand out one of each test to Shizune and Saki please?"

Misha does what she's told, setting out the papers in front of each girl and placing a few pencils at their side.

"The time limit is thirty minutes...starting now!' Lilly declares. The girls flip over their papers and start writing furiously. It's as if they've forgotten I was here. I use their inattentiveness to my advantage, quietly packing my things while making sure Misha doesn't notice.

"Hey Misha, can you go back to room 3-3 and get my library book?" I lie. "I'll drop if off once these girls finish their contest."

"Sure, Hicchan!"

Misha taps Shizune and gives her a quick sign, probably indicating that she's leaving to get something really fast. Shizune curtly nods before burying her face in the paper again. When it comes to competing for a guy, girls do go off, don't they?

When Misha runs out of the room, I spare a glance to make sure that the three girls are busy with their tests before bolting out of the room and heading in the opposite direction that Misha went. As lovely as those three girls are, I already have a lover. I wonder if Yuuko's working at the Shanghai right now. That waitress uniform is really hot on her. She promised we'd do it over there one of these days. Hopefully one of these days means today. With these thoughts, I stealthily slip out of the school. I'm not looking forward to what they're going to say tomorrow though.

[Mirage_GSM]

I can't help but think that Lilly has an unfair advantage in english tests...
But nevertheless, I enjoyed this little story very much.

[BobBobberson]

Setup (A small TF2/KS drabble) On a bit of a TF2 writing binge right now, what with my TF2/Saya no Uta crossover. Figured I'd write this little piece than.

In the spawn room, 7 tense faces tuned to me.

"You guys ready for this?" I ask. It's been two long days, two days of fighting to push our bomb cart to the checkpoint. It's our only way of destroying the feminist laser compound before it goes off.

"They will fall to my minigun." Taro Arai, one of the bigger guys from my former high school utters, heaving his minigun for emphasis.

"Right, Suzumiya-kun, I take it you'll be covering Arai again?" I ask the hemophiliac.

"Of course, I'll make sure he doesn't die while under my care...well die permanently, at any rate. Hopefully the feminist's respawn will mess up so Misha and Shizune don't respawn at all. Misha's fucking loud." Suzumiya Haruhiko shrugs, donning the medigun that was handed down to him from an extremely distant German relative.

"Good, good, at least give us a spurt of the beam if we need it. Especially Akio over here." I gesture to the thin kid wearing a red T-shirt and a headset.

"Yeah jackass, everytime I call MEDIC, you never heal me. Not even when I'm in front of you!" Akio Hayashi whines from the Mad Milk crate he sits on. I'm not sure why it's called Mad Milk when it's a non-dairy substance, but I'd rather not ask Akio where he gets it from to begin with.

"Maybe if you'd stop having such a whiny voice, maybe I would heal you?" Haruhiko shoots back.

"Oyy! Enough!" I step in before the two can get into another pointless argument again. "Akio, you already know what to do. Pop in, harass with your scattergun, pop out. If you can sneak behind their lines, even better."

Akio gives me a small salute at that order, slipping a jar of Mad Milk into his sack for future 'use', and by 'use' i mean throwing it into the feminist forces.

"Roger that, this jar's got Emi's name on it."

"What do I do?" Lezard Valeth inquires, waving his trusty wrench around. With his anemia, he tries to stay out of danger if possible, which makes his job as Engineer a lot easier.

"Simple enough, when we get some momentum going, build sentries to cover our ground so the feminists can't push us back. Of course, teleporters and dispensers are already obligatory, so no need to go over that. Well, there's also spy-checking i guess."

"Don't you mean Rika-checking?" Lezard counters. "Goddamn she's annoying for a Spy with white hair and pale skin. You'd think she'd stand out, but nooo half the time you guys don't even notice she's disguised, than I get backstabbed and all my shit gets broken!"

"Well that's why I'm telling you to spycheck as well, dumbass. Just whack everyone with your wrench, simple as that." I turn to another person to signal the end of our exchange.

"Lelouche, your job is simple enough. Go in, backstab them, sap their shit, cloak out." I say to the rogue.

"No need to tell me twice, commander." He responds, playing with his butterfly knife. "They're as good as dead."

"Just try to make sure you can uphold that promise. Well, if you can't destroy their buildings, than Takeshi can at least." I gesture to the second-to-last member of our ragtag team.

"Hah, their toys are no match for my explosives!" Takeshi Maeda boasts, loading grenades into his grenade launcher. "That lass Rin will have something interesting to paint though: The debris of her hard work!" He starts to laugh again, a little bit too loudly. It can't be helped though, his tinnitus messes up his hearing, although he isn't deaf like Shizune.

"Alright than, that leaves only you." I turn to Kenji, the eyesight challenged friend of mine.

"I already know what to do, jeez. We just fought to take this base yesterday you know." He says, unsheathing his sniper rifle from his back.

"I don't get why we're entrusting the job of Sniper to the guy with the shittiest eyesight, but you show results, so whatever. Not sure how though." I muse.

"These feminists are predictable. All my years of recon has given me valuable intel on how they act and what their logic is like. That scarred bitch is the easiest to headshot of all of them." Kenji says, referring to Hanako, the feminist's Pyro. I can see where he's going with this though, she has a tendency to run in a straight line while spraying forth fire with her flamethrower.

"Good shit. Looks like we all know our roles." I turn to reach for my weapon.

"What's your job, Hisao?" Lezard inquires while looking through his toolbox.

"Simple," I open the resupply closet and pull out my trusty Rocket Launcher. "I get to rain hell on the feminists who want to take over the world. I've especially got my eye on a certain blind Demoman..." For a moment, my thoughts fly back to Lilly Satou, my lover before this war started which brought both of us apart. No...it's too late to think of her now. She's assisting in the feminist's efforts to enslave MANkind, and that's an unforgivable offense to me."

"Oy, Hisao, you ready?" Kenji asks, slapping his head on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I respond, shaking my head to knock any thoughts of Lilly out of my brain. Huh, the red solly, and the blue demoman. It's too bad we can never go back to the fun times we had before hand.

I leave the respawn room and into the area near the gates, where most of the team has assembled, save for Lelouche and Akio.

"Mission begins in 10 seconds."